Hey y’all, it’s Maria. Who asked for a rant about Riverdale? I am returning for our Lost Episodes (1x10-1x13 and 2x01-2x09) and potentially 4x19, 5x01-5x03 and whatever in the time jump brings me enough joy that I want to podcast it. Also, I ra

Introducing: Leftist Teen Drama

Aug 16th, 2021 2m 11s

Hey y'all! Maria here; I know it's been awhile. I've got a couple pieces of good news, though! I've launched a new podcast, and I wanted to share the trailer with you! Leftist Teen Drama is a podcast celebrating political moments on TV teen dra

Riverdale 4x16 - “Chapter Seventy-Three: The Locked Room”

Mar 29th, 2020 1h 16m

feat. guest: Hailey“They’ve done such a good job of writing these Stonies as the shitty ultrawealthy that they are. Wonderful critique of capitalism, guys, I love it. And so to finally see them get their comeuppance and Betty and Jughead take

Riverdale 4x15 - “Chapter Seventy-Two: To Die For”

Mar 14th, 2020 1h 20m

feat. guest: Kelly“We are in a time of crisis. The primary, the coronavirus. Can Riverdale just make sense? That’s all I’m asking.”“That’s all I want.” “A little bit of sense, even.”“I want just, like, a feeling of...release. Of resolution

Riverdale 4x14 - “Chapter Seventy-One: How to Get Away with Murder”

Mar 2nd, 2020 1h 7m

feat guest: Maria’s boo/B4B producer Jeff“Jughead’s not dead!” -Maria, approximately a dozen times throughout this podcast “I’m spending every second of every scene trying to figure out what could be a different level of a lie or not a lie

Riverdale 4x13 - “Chapter Seventy: The Ides of March”

Feb 17th, 2020 1h 10m

feat guest: Maria’s boo/B4B producer Jeff“This is kind of THE episode that we’ve all been building toward all season—really, since the Season 3 finale when we saw the first flash-forward” -Maria Epic, investigative, angsty, and romantic Bug

Riverdale 4x12 - “Chapter Sixty-Nine: Man of Honor”

Feb 10th, 2020 1h 22m

feat guest: Sofia“All I’ve ever wanted is for Betty and Jughead to be like, ‘you know what we’re not gonna play on your terms, you capitalist fucks, we’re leaving.’ Ugh, yes! That is so on brand for me. Bodysuits For Bughead approved.” -Maria

Riverdale 4x11 - “Chapter Sixty-Eight: Quiz Show”

Feb 4th, 2020 1h 26m

feat guest: KellyYou know what they say...a big Bughead episode means a LONG episode of Bodysuits For Bughead!What a fun ep! From a quiz show team of powerful Riverladies to tickle porn and maple-rum being sold by a kidnapped killer mother,

Riverdale 4x10 - “Chapter Sixty-Seven: Varsity Blues”

Jan 27th, 2020 1h 9m

feat guest: HaileyCheryl: We’re going on strike! Maria: Yes! They’re doing direct action! Ooh, yes! Withhold your labor! Age-old labor tactic. This is beautiful.Y’all, has it EVER been clear that Riverdale is depicting an indictment of the

Riverdale 4x09 - “Chapter Sixty-Six: Tangerine”

Jan 1st, 2020 1h 12m

Feat guest: Jeff“The three endgame couples are like, holding each other while they watch a fiery boat of a flaming body float away. Romantic.” -MariaTBH, this mid-season finale gave us whiplash—from Archie and FP’s team-up to run the Dickin

Riverdale 4x08 - “Chapter Sixty-Five: In Treatment”

Dec 14th, 2019 1h 12m

Feat guest: SofiaRemember when we spent our entire podcast so far arguing that these kids needed therapy and then Riverdale decided to do a Therapy Episode™ instead of letting the kids actually go to a therapist on a regular basis?? Well, *si

Riverdale 4x07 - “Chapter Sixty-Four: The Ice Storm”

Nov 30th, 2019 1h 23m

Feat guest: Kelly“I know other things are gonna be happening, and I’ll watch them and stuff, but I am here for Bughead having sexy times, cuddly times, and investigative times. You know, the Big Three?” -MariaIt’s Thanksgiving in Riverdale—

Riverdale 4x06 - “Chapter Sixty-Three: Hereditary”

Nov 18th, 2019 1h 7m

Feat guest: JeffBodies are dropping, y’all! Along with Maria’s guest Jeff (her partner/B4B’s producer), we talk FP’s inconsistencies about what his childhood was like with Grandpa FP as Jughead discovers a Baxter Brothers revelation that thre

Riverdale 4x05 - “Chapter Sixty-Two: Witness for the Prosecution”

Nov 11th, 2019 1h 18m

Feat guests: Rosalie and TaraThe keyword for this episode is THERAPY — whether we’re talking about an MIA Cheryl/Toni who we’re still very concerned about, repressed memories revealing that Betty’s serial killer dad tried to groom her to be v

Riverdale 4x04 - “Chapter Sixty-One: Halloween”

Nov 6th, 2019 1h 25m

Feat guest: Kelly“Riverdale is basically one long Halloween episode I feel like?” - MariaIt’s Riverdale’s first-ever Halloween episode and Maria and Kelly have a LOT of fun — so much fun that this podcast is longer than usual, but we hope y

Riverdale 4x03 - “Chapter Sixty: Dog Day Afternoon”

Nov 2nd, 2019 1h 6m

Feat guest: SofiaJughead: You better take your breaks from me while you can, Cooper, because you and I are in this for the long haul.Maria and Sofia: *SCREAMING/SCREECHING/BREATHING HEAVILY*Who knew the final showdown with The Farm would i

Riverdale 4x02 - “Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fast Times at Riverdale High”

Oct 23rd, 2019 1h 10m

Feat guest: HaileyIt’s senior year, baby, the high school hijinks are at an all-time high, and we are HERE for it! Okay, first of all, this is an AMAZING Bughead episode and we talk about ALL of it: the sexy af night-before-senior-year sex, t

Riverdale 4x01 - “Chapter Fifty-Eight: In Memoriam”

Oct 16th, 2019 1h 8m

Feat guest: Liv“He was our dad for three seasons” -LivTears are shed, hearts are broken and then warmed, and much praise is given to the epic and emotional performances delivered by all of the cast members in this intense, beautiful stand-a

Sex, Lies, and Videotapes: A Pre-Riverdale Season 4 Roundtable

Sep 28th, 2019 1h 16m

Cults and flash-forwards and FBI agents, oh my! It’s (almost) senior year, baby! Jughead’s missing, Archie and Veronica both own full-on businesses, and pretttty much everyone’s parents are dead or in prison. Maria, along with a panel of esteem

Riverdale 3x22 - “Chapter Fifty-Seven: Survive the Night”

Aug 28th, 2019 1h 26m

feat guests: Rosalie and Mackensie*APOLOGIES FOR THE DELAY! This episode was recorded LIVE on the night of the Season 3 finale in May; Maria’s personal life got really hectic this summer and she needed an editing break which is why we’re only

Riverdale 3x21 - “Chapter Fifty-Six: The Dark Secret of Harvest House”

Jul 1st, 2019 1h 18m

feat guests: Hailey and SofiaWe have some theories about the Gargoyle King and plenty of shrieks to match the organ-harvesting Farm revelations, gruesome boxing sequences set to Beyonce cover songs, and gangs of feral Eagle Scouts. From Chery

Riverdale 3x20 - “Chapter Fifty-Five: Prom Night”

Jun 16th, 2019 1h 23m

Feat guest: Kelly“Betty’s so traumatized” - us, continually, throughout the episodeIt’s a G&G-themed junior prom, because of course it fucking is! There is nothing more Bughead than getting involved in planning prom night just for the sake

Riverdale 3x19 - “Chapter Fifty-Four: Fear the Reaper”

Jun 9th, 2019 1h 10m

feat guest: JeffEven though we were sad to see this episode was too action-packed to give us any good Bughead moments, we have fun going along for the ride as the Jones family embarks on a quest to save Jellybean from the Gargoyle King. We ha

Riverdale 3x18 - “Chapter Fifty-Three: Jawbreaker”

May 24th, 2019 1h 15m

feat. guest: RosalieIt’s the final five eps of Season 3, y’all, and things are getting wild! We have a lot of reactions and feelings as FP and Jughead follow the trail of a bad batch of Fizzle Rocks, get excited at the prospect of a Toni-Bett

Riverdale 3x17 - “Chapter Fifty-Two: The Raid”

May 14th, 2019 1h 12m

Feat guest: Hailey3x16 asked the question, ‘can’t we be seventeen?’ 3x17 said: NOPE.- MariaOnce upon a time, Maria and Hailey watched a lot of One Tree Hill together, so we HAD to gush about Chad Michael Murray’s first full episode of Riv