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1:29

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

1:31

to Book Sheet Live, a good chat coming

1:33

through. Please put your hands together. Welcome say to your

1:36

host for this afternoon show, it's Dave

1:38

Warner King.

1:52

Welcome to book sheath, the book club podcast.

1:54

Well, I've read the book, so you don't have to do my

1:56

name. Instead of working, how are we feeling it there? We're good.

1:59

Hell, yeah. One

2:02

of you is the most incredible wooors I've ever

2:04

heard of my entire life. Let me hear

2:06

you. Solo woo.

2:08

Yes. Alright. You've

2:11

passed the audition. Thank you so much.

2:14

Great. Thank you so much for coming out. I'll give you a round of

2:16

applause if you've ever heard book check before. Interesting.

2:21

You didn't woo. Oh my gosh.

2:23

Okay. Well, maybe you're gonna

2:25

answer this question. Give me round of applause or a

2:27

woo. If you've never heard this show before,

2:31

thank you so much for being here. I would have laughed

2:33

so much if you'd never heard it. You're

2:35

you're I'm so

2:38

sorry. Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not thinking

2:40

about it. Hey,

2:43

So

2:43

how they show works if you haven't heard it before is

2:45

I've read the book so you don't have to each week.

2:47

I'll look at

2:47

one of the classics. And join me to look at

2:49

such a classic this week. Could you please put your hands

2:51

together and welcome to the stage my special guests?

2:54

Aaron

2:54

Gucks and Matt Stewart.

3:03

the

3:09

haha

3:11

Coxie went through the wrong door, but that's okay.

3:14

I was starting to panic that you weren't coming

3:16

out. It's comedy. There's

3:19

no right or wrong. It's funny.

3:21

You wouldn't have thought there'd be a wrong door from

3:23

over there to hear, but there was. Somehow

3:25

we somehow we got lost. You said walking

3:27

that way? Yeah. It's a three meter journey, but

3:30

and I perform in this corny blood heat.

3:32

So yeah. It just never

3:34

been through that door. I've

3:36

never been through that doll before. I didn't ask

3:38

for everything. Buddy, hell. I

3:41

was like, whoa. Whoa. Whoa, Dave? Pardon? who's

3:43

the world? We're like, no. We're making them feel

3:46

very self conscious. But is no. What I

3:48

mean, what a what a weird contradiction that

3:50

is for someone to go to a public

3:52

space will at the top of their lungs

3:54

and be like, oh, don't don't single me

3:56

out. I don't wanna bring any

3:58

attention to myself. You are not helping

4:00

the self consciousness. Okay. Look, I love

4:02

the Woo. I wanna make that clear. That's

4:04

why I wanna see him so I can give him a

4:06

thumb. Thumbs up. It's

4:08

it's over that way. Give him a thumb there.

4:11

Right wooing. Fantastic wooing

4:14

work. Yeah. That's some of the best

4:16

wooing out of it. Honestly, you're in a woo

4:18

save space. Yeah. feel free to

4:20

woo. Not okay. Not

4:22

okay. Now

4:24

or whenever? Yeah. Okay. Wow.

4:27

That is a powerful word. One

4:29

of the best I've ever heard. Rolling

4:32

for books, you know? That's what we're here

4:34

for. Where the book shooks at.

4:38

Coxie, we call listeners of the show, but

4:40

the booktrucks -- Oh, okay. -- and I am.

4:42

And I'm the booktrucks.

4:44

Does that make sense? That's no. It doesn't really.

4:47

They're the book chokes and you're the book chokes.

4:49

Yeah. No. Okay. Okay. Yeah. How

4:52

you guys been going? Matt, have you been

4:54

reading anything lately? I've been watching the

4:56

first quarter of the Grand Final. Yeah.

4:58

Alright. We have to for the people at home, we

5:00

must point out that it's the game day of

5:02

the NFL grand final. So

5:04

so sorry to anyone who wanted to watch that.

5:06

Honestly, if you listen to a book podcast, did

5:08

you wanna watch that? Did you

5:11

But maybe you too, Matt and Goxy wanted to watch

5:13

it. Yeah. We're both science support. It's a bit

5:15

prejudiced of your day. There's

5:17

a fair bit of crossover in the Yeah.

5:20

Yeah. You know, but but he you

5:23

know, I'm not a someone

5:25

of them's written a book, haven't they? There you

5:27

go. They they always have books

5:29

about their careers coming out. Oh, I had I

5:31

I had a couple of books as a kid. I

5:33

had Kevin Bartlett's big book

5:35

of football. I had

5:38

the

5:38

encyclopedia of AOL players.

5:40

I just listed every player of all time.

5:43

Oh, Just a just a

5:45

list. Yeah. I look at like a phone book. It was

5:47

just AML. I had

5:49

Glen Manton's guide to

5:51

life book. And I live my life by

5:53

that book every day. A couple of There's

5:55

any man heads in. He said, like,

5:57

what an obscure plan to have a book? But

5:59

about

5:59

the the kids one that, you know, wasn't

6:02

written by them, but they they put their name

6:04

on it. I love those ones. Yeah.

6:06

Sorry.

6:06

I Sorry if I

6:08

crushed anyone's dream. What? Applied

6:11

Indian writer. Speaking of

6:13

gay. Yeah. Another classic.

6:15

Well, I've been

6:17

reading a book this week, but it isn't a

6:19

sport based book. I'm so sorry. In fact, it's not

6:21

even a book at reds and gentlemen. I've been

6:23

reading a book this way, but it's

6:25

not a book yet at all. It is in

6:27

fact a play. Whoa.

6:32

There's a playhead over there. Big book,

6:34

big fan of the plays. I'm like

6:36

we call Play's acoustic book. I

6:39

just love that, man. life

6:42

honestly. We

6:44

can make it a thing. I really think we should I'm

6:46

so glad you came clean, goxie. Yeah. We

6:48

were about to go home and make it falls of themselves.

6:51

Yeah. sorrow. So the

6:53

the book that or the play that I've been

6:55

reading this week is an Australian classic

6:57

ladies and gentlemen. It is summer of

6:59

the seventeenth doll Give

7:01

me random applause if you've ever heard of that.

7:04

Few of you? Fantastic. Yes, great. Have

7:06

you guys heard that? That was did you notice

7:08

the weird mama that went through it.

7:10

Yeah. I can't believe he's doing something something

7:12

tall. Yeah.

7:14

That's really harder to It's very hard to

7:16

tell if a murmur is positive or negative

7:18

as well. Yeah. Are you

7:20

happy about this? No.

7:22

Thank you. You weren't

7:24

memory. Have have other you

7:26

you two on stage have you heard of somewhere the seventeenth

7:29

doll? No. as long

7:31

as there's no follow-up questions. No.

7:34

I've never I've never heard of it. Okay. Well, no. I

7:37

think you mentioned it to me as well. Adam,

7:39

summer of sixty nine. That

7:42

count. Kind of a play. It is.

7:44

Yeah. He got his first real, sixth string. Yeah.

7:46

Yeah. It's nice to see his finger's bad. fight a lot by

7:48

triple m. Now

7:52

so goxy When he plays that, unplugged.

7:55

I call that an acoustic --

7:57

My song. -- to

7:59

call back

7:59

to the the guy said I'm making it.

8:03

Now I get principal to suggest these these

8:05

books, and this one's been suggested by one person

8:07

that is Katie Stewart from Melbourne. Are

8:09

you in tonight? Okay.

8:11

Any relation to Matt?

8:13

Any relation to me? Yeah.

8:16

I mean, I hope you'd know. But

8:19

Do you have it in Katie's in your family? No. I don't

8:21

have it. You do you have a cat in your family?

8:23

Yeah. But her last name isn't Stuart. Oh,

8:25

okay. Yeah. That makes sense. That'd be a

8:27

weird. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm gonna tell you

8:29

because Man, Matt. Not that big of a man.

8:32

Changing my last name to Stuart. I

8:34

love Matt, so I'm not. So

8:36

we're talking about it's a Australian classic. It's a

8:38

one of Australia's most famous and influential

8:40

plays. Some -- Yeah. -- authentic dolls. Yes. Yes.

8:42

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That will influence

8:44

my life. almost as much as Glen

8:46

Madden's book. You of

8:48

course remember the playwright, Matt Ray

8:51

Winston. Is that I didn't know his

8:53

middle name, but it's Ray Winston Law Law Law,

8:55

there you go. Ray Winston. It was first

8:57

performed at the Union Theatre at the

8:59

University of Melbourne in nineteen fifty

9:01

five the ARGUS recorded it

9:03

opens to a standing ovation. I

9:05

had

9:05

a close. because that would be

9:07

distracting. for the

9:09

very beginning of the show, or he'd be like,

9:11

guys, we're just gonna do the thing here.

9:13

Yeah. You're you're waiting for your

9:15

first line? How

9:18

long can they clap for? It

9:20

was extremely influential, the

9:22

Belvois theater, noted that before the

9:24

nineteen fifties, very little Australian work

9:26

produced on Australian stages. And often,

9:28

a whole year would go by without a

9:31

single work by an Australian reaching the

9:33

commercial stage.

9:34

So wasn't

9:35

common at the time.

9:36

often referred to as just the doll.

9:39

Pretty

9:39

cool. It's got the

9:40

cool people, let me. The

9:43

first production gave audiences

9:45

unmistakably Australian characters in

9:47

a familiar setting, speaking

9:49

with their own accents and telling their own stories

9:51

for the first time. So before that, people

9:53

are doing pretty English and American

9:55

plays, but this this is aussie

9:57

as fuck this play. As you say,

9:59

how many

9:59

good days are in? They're they're honestly quite

10:02

a few. You're

10:05

already well, you're on the money

10:07

there. After a success in Melbourne, the play

10:09

tour to Sydney, Adelaide Perth

10:11

Hobart, and Brisbane, like

10:13

reference, was anyone

10:15

there in nineteen fifty six? Mhmm.

10:17

Yes. You

10:20

look great. Wow. What's

10:23

the theater district here called?

10:25

Was it Fortitude Valley? Is that what it is? Valley.

10:29

Cupack. Cupack.

10:31

Yes.

10:32

It's because not so much a

10:34

district. It's literally one building. Yeah.

10:36

Oh, a powerhouse has a little bit of

10:39

something. Yeah. Do

10:39

you have a West End here?

10:41

Yes, we do. It's Yeah.

10:43

Not

10:43

a theater thing. Okay. I think you're

10:45

a pub there. It's a it's a like, I

10:48

guess, like, new town Sydney because people say

10:50

keep Western weird. Yeah.

10:52

Well, this is some way there.

10:55

So it's not that way. And

11:02

general farm. If you suburb as a subway,

11:04

it's not weird. I don't

11:07

know. It wasn't

11:08

expecting such anti subway. No.

11:11

It's more anti climbing

11:13

that you're weird. Yeah. Yeah. You kind of

11:15

have a big franchise if you're weird.

11:18

Yeah. That's my room. if they, like,

11:20

do some they do their subs

11:22

inside out or something? Yeah. The

11:24

bread's on the middle. That's pretty I mean, I

11:26

use the metric system. You know, that's

11:32

And they're

11:32

like, can I have a thirty centimeter on

11:34

tip top? That's

11:40

pretty weird. Yeah. That is crazy. It's just

11:42

a sandwich. Thirty

11:45

centimeters. sandwich. That's amazing. Sorry for

11:47

hijacking. You're showing showing you in the

11:49

sandwich talk. Honestly, I'm

11:51

loving it. I just wanna

11:53

tell you that the was so successful in the fifties

11:55

that they had to start several

11:57

plays at all to it at the same time.

11:59

And

11:59

it

11:59

was reported that people drove hundreds

12:02

of kilometers to see the

12:03

play and a man swam a flooded

12:05

river to see it in the northern territory,

12:07

which is in I've gotta get

12:09

to the theater. just

12:12

just insane. It's been

12:14

revived many times over the years and adapted for

12:16

radio and film. The playwright, Raylala

12:19

turned one hundred last

12:21

year And at the time of recording is still going

12:23

strong at a hundred and one.

12:25

Let's hear it for Ray. Oh

12:28

my god. Let's

12:30

get into the swam to Marsha. Well,

12:35

let's

12:35

get into it. The the entire place said in

12:38

a two story house in Kalton,

12:40

and in a suburb in Melbourne

12:42

set in early December nineteen fifty

12:44

three. And OXXY I always start with the

12:46

opening line to set the scene, give you a

12:48

bit of Walden magic And

12:50

it's a it's a line from a character

12:53

called Bubba.

12:54

OZES. Alright. Now

12:57

everyone get ready. You've Traditionally,

12:59

this starts with a standing ovation.

13:02

So I was pacing the stage

13:04

waiting. Here we go any second

13:06

now.

13:08

So I was the only one went to the

13:10

wedding, ornament was, and the

13:12

boys were away. They'll, of course, when Ollie

13:14

wrote up and told them, they sent some

13:16

money down for a present. but I was the

13:18

one who had to buy it and take it along.

13:20

Olive

13:20

wouldn't have anything to do with it. Wouldn't

13:23

even help me pick anything out

13:25

and

13:25

we're off.

13:29

Thank you. Did you

13:31

feel that? Did you feel that

13:33

you feel that Aussie metchy? I can't I

13:35

can't believe this, but I genuinely zoned out

13:37

during that. I I

13:39

did not take any of that in what?

13:42

I'm still not buying

13:44

Bubba as an Aussie man. Bubba.

13:46

I mean, it's like Forrest Gump. Isn't it like

13:49

Southern America? Yeah. I don't

13:51

know. Right.

13:51

Well, okay. Oxy's not a fan

13:53

of Bubba. We'll see who else we got.

13:56

We've just met one of our main characters there

13:58

though. Bubba Ryan. the twenty two

14:00

year old neighbor of the house wherein she

14:02

lives over the back.

14:04

Yes. Oh, yeah, Bubba's can

14:07

be women too. Yes.

14:10

And

14:10

does she speaking to Pearl

14:13

Cunningham? What do you think about? Happy

14:15

with that. Happy with that. Happy with that.

14:17

Fantastic name. She's an early

14:19

forties widow wearing her

14:21

good black outfit, her

14:23

best. See you

14:23

in a place. She's

14:25

trying to get all the gosh she can out of young Bubba

14:28

before some men arrive.

14:30

And they

14:30

speak about a woman called Nancy and her

14:33

wedding that only Bubba went to.

14:35

That's what talking about. She's the only one that went to

14:37

Bubba's wedding view also. So also

14:39

the there was a wedding with one in the

14:42

crowd. No. of of the

14:44

people they know, Baba was the only guy I got

14:46

you. Yeah. No. She's That'd be a that's a grim

14:48

wedding. Yeah. As a rule of

14:50

thumb, you don't want more on mistake. Yeah. already

14:52

audience. She's the best

14:54

man, ring bearer, a flower girl doing it

14:56

all. Our

14:58

pearl is intrigued by this.

15:00

Nancy character in her wedding because she, this

15:02

Nancy, used to be part of the arrangement

15:04

that Pearl is now waiting to try

15:06

out. And you're wondering, what's

15:07

this arrangement? Well, you

15:09

see this house every summer for the

15:11

last sixteen years, two men named

15:14

Bonnie

15:15

and Ru. AussieaaS.

15:18

Name and Aussie name.

15:20

EMU, baby. Every

15:23

summer for sixteen years, Barney and revisit

15:25

the house to spend their layoff

15:27

periods in between Kane

15:29

cutting seasons. Queensland

15:31

reference. They

15:34

work for seven months cutting cane up

15:36

in Northern Queensland, and then they spend five months

15:38

spending all their savings and partying and

15:40

hooking up with the women in the house.

15:42

That's the arrangement. Oh, yeah.

15:45

Okay. It's got

15:46

an arrangement, interesting arrangement.

15:49

and a

15:51

cane farmer's Internet? Yeah.

15:53

Is anyone is this the lay off

15:55

period? Sounds more

15:57

like the lay on.

16:00

It's just

16:01

the late period. So,

16:04

Olive hangs

16:06

around with room, and Barney

16:08

used to go with Nancy But

16:10

the dynamic has

16:11

changed because since last summer,

16:13

Nancy has

16:14

gotten married. So she's out.

16:16

No longer part of the arrangement. See

16:18

you, Nancy. So

16:22

Olive has invited her friend and waitress colleague,

16:25

Pearl, to be the new companion for

16:27

Barney, So of auditioning to be the new

16:29

Nancy. But Pell

16:31

is a bit more proper in produce than the other, so

16:33

she's unsure if she actually wants wants to be

16:35

part of it. She keeps

16:37

saying that she's just there for a visit

16:40

just in case it doesn't work out. Well, you know what

16:42

that means. I'm

16:45

just here for a five month visit.

16:48

Pearl, Pearl, your old dog. Pearl's

16:52

suitcase full of stuff is still packed in at the

16:54

bottom of the stairs, and she says she

16:56

won't take it up until she's sure about the

16:58

arrangement. So she's To

17:00

keeping her cards close to her chest, Olive

17:03

has spent months talking up how fun the

17:05

summers are. And when she comes downstairs and

17:08

shows pearl, the new one, a photo of

17:10

Barney, Rue Nancy, and Olav drunk at

17:12

an amusement park. It slid a park the year

17:14

before. Pearl isn't impressed with the group

17:16

or her new match saying No

17:18

one will ever touch me in public like that.

17:20

And I've got no idea what he's doing in

17:22

that photo. Sounds

17:25

pretty sucks. And

17:27

Ollie keeps saying that Nancy has made

17:29

a big mistake ruining the arrangement by

17:31

getting married. She's like, she'll regret it.

17:33

She'll absolutely regret it. a

17:35

marriage is sort of an arrangement in

17:38

itself. Right? She's just got a different arrangement.

17:40

Yeah. Yeah. That's what my marriage is five months

17:42

on, seven months on. I'm

17:45

just checking I am on. Sorry,

17:47

everyone. I am still

17:49

on.

17:51

Give it a few days.

17:54

So if girls

17:56

will hear the photo of Bonnie and she's like, that

17:58

man needs to be hello, taken

17:59

in hand. So

18:02

I just realized you were there giving you a bit of FaceTime.

18:04

That's gonna be very confusing

18:06

that those listening at home. You

18:08

you did that in the middle of a sentence.

18:11

Yeah. That's right. It was a little like a

18:13

vagus krona. New

18:16

York, New Hello? Hello?

18:19

That's good to make it.

18:21

They're good to see it. I'll make it

18:25

anywhere. Whoa. They

18:27

do call it Bris Vegas. They

18:30

do. And it is a

18:32

pleasure. No one cares about it. Brisneyland

18:35

I've heard as well. All of those feel appropriate.

18:37

Really? Brisneyland. Oh,

18:40

la la la. So,

18:43

Pearl's being pretty scathing of the whole thing and

18:45

says she doesn't consider the arrangement they've

18:47

got proper like a marriage.

18:50

She's widowed and has an eighteen year old daughter

18:52

that she keeps talking about. So

18:54

despite being there for the arrangement,

18:56

she's not keen on the arrangement.

18:58

She looks at the photo of Nancy's

19:00

wedding and says she doesn't wanna get involved with anything

19:03

cheap like this. But

19:05

Olin tells her to stop playing the innocent mother

19:07

and says, you think I haven't sized

19:09

that up against what other women have? I

19:11

love for them every time they try to

19:13

tell me. Even waiting for Root to get back is more

19:15

exciting than anything they've got.

19:17

So olives

19:18

she's she loves

19:19

it. And

19:21

when they're all together, the the way the two men walk into a pub

19:23

without a care in the world and make

19:26

the cityblocks silent. just

19:28

for their presence really, really impresses

19:31

her. She says they walk in like

19:33

kings. That's hot stuff. That's

19:35

hot. Do you guys ever get that when you walk into a into

19:37

a bar, silence, or the city

19:40

fuck? Oxy, I'm

19:42

sure it would. Yeah.

19:44

Not Not yet, but you never

19:46

say never. Always

19:50

a

19:50

chance. Now the

19:51

way your the way your

19:53

favorite character, Bubba, fits into all of

19:55

this. She's the neighbor over the back and has known the

19:57

boys from Queensland since she was six years old,

20:00

always dropping by every summer and they're like

20:02

uncles to her. Baba at the

20:04

start of the play is tying ribbons

20:06

to large candy canes and when Pearl asked what they're

20:08

for, she's a bit embarrassed to explain that the men

20:10

used to bring her a candy cane each year

20:12

they came down even after she was fifteen. So

20:14

she started buying them candy

20:17

cans and then they quickly realized that

20:19

she's too old for candy and

20:21

then they just

20:22

start bringing her other presents up to her

20:24

fuming shit. That's

20:25

that's kind of bubbling a nutshell

20:27

though. She's twenty two, but they still treat her like a

20:29

child. Right. I was gonna say, you're gonna edit

20:32

out

20:32

any of the details of this

20:35

storytelling. I'm still

20:37

on page one. So

20:42

Bonnie and Rue arrive and the women have to

20:44

hide the beers that they've paused. They've paused

20:46

because they don't want the men to think they've started without

20:48

them. And Bonnie

20:49

enters carrying Emma, who's

20:51

Olliv's mother and the owner of the house, so

20:53

that it's Olliv's mom's

20:55

place. The arrangement is

20:57

at mom's house. Are you following this

21:00

at all? You're following? Yes.

21:04

You get it right. You get it.

21:06

Oh, you know. Emma who

21:08

Emma's a new character? Yes. Emma's the

21:11

old lady who owns the house. Yep.

21:14

Yeah. Come on, keep up. You

21:16

guys following this? You're following this? Yeah.

21:18

Kind of. Right. Basically,

21:19

there's an arrangement going on. They bang

21:21

every summer, whatever. Nine fifty five is

21:23

a favorite plan. Yes. Exactly.

21:25

They love it. So

21:27

Emma gets carried in over

21:29

Bonnie's shoulder. She's the mother. They've got a love hate

21:31

relationship with Emma. She's a bit cantankerous. but

21:34

she likes Bonnie. She loves a

21:36

bit of of dash. She's

21:39

always getting money out of them. Bonnie walks in with Emma

21:41

every shoulder and says, this is a bit of

21:43

fun. Where's the garbage bin? The

21:45

joke there being that

21:47

he's gonna put this old woman in a

21:49

pin. Mhmm. That's funny.

21:52

Bit of fun. That is funny. That's

21:54

it feels that there's a few quite American

21:56

terms so far for a quintessential

21:59

Australian plate garbage

21:59

instead of rubbish. Can't

22:01

hand you instead of lolly cane? No, that

22:03

we do. We say lolly

22:05

cane again, maybe. So

22:08

let's meet

22:08

Ru and Bonnie now. Ru

22:11

is bigger and slightly older of the two.

22:13

At forty one is the leader of the pair. Do

22:15

you want to be Ru?

22:18

Goxy? Sure.

22:19

One

22:20

time, one of the women called

22:23

Ru kangaroo, thinking

22:25

that's what shortfall, but he laughed in a rebuild. His his

22:27

real name is actually Reuben. That's where that

22:29

comes. Yeah. I go for a

22:31

revolver. I'd go with

22:34

Ben.

22:36

I've

22:36

been. I'll go with Tanger Ruben,

22:39

Ben anyway. Then there's

22:41

Barney, Matt, do you want me to Barney? Sure.

22:43

We

22:43

got You said that you were happy with

22:45

Barney as a pretty aussie name. I I don't

22:47

know any Barney's. Or did Barney's our

22:49

all American, Bonnie Gumble, Bonnie

22:52

Rumble, Bonnie the dinosaur. I

22:54

think it's pretty big. Thank you.

22:57

They're all close friends of yours as well. Oh, no. There's one of

22:59

the bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae

23:01

bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae bae

23:04

b That's a

23:06

different name, but still. But

23:08

it's close. It's close. Why

23:10

is b's middle initial?

23:12

I did not know that. Barnaby

23:16

Joyce.

23:20

Yeah. That's funny. This is why I

23:22

don't touch politics. You'll

23:26

never believe what the beast stands for.

23:28

It's Bonnie. It's

23:30

Barney Barney Joyce. Double

23:34

Barney. So Barney, he's

23:36

younger, he's forty, he's smaller than men.

23:38

He's a funny charming guy, a real ladies

23:40

man. That's what I see in you, Matt

23:42

Stewart. Just I'm

23:44

just casting this play. Who wants to be

23:46

bubba? You wanna be bubba? Okay.

23:51

So the men turn up. They're in a jovial manner

23:53

bringing with them their usual whole of gifts

23:55

including, and this is important, a

23:57

kupi doll Little plastic

23:58

doll originally based on a

23:59

comic book strip, every some of the guys

24:02

bring them a doll for the ladies, which they add

24:04

to the collection. So that's why

24:06

this is the summer of the

24:08

seventeenth doll. And

24:10

they they look at the crowd and wink as

24:12

they say that.

24:16

This is there's some there's

24:18

a lot of stuff here. It might be just

24:20

a different time stuff, but kind of a

24:23

bit off. I am here to have sex

24:25

with you. He's a child. He's a

24:27

child. I

24:29

don't know

24:30

how you're doing it, but

24:32

works for me. So

24:36

when Barney meets uptight Pearl,

24:39

which is an nickname I've given it,

24:41

With this possible new summer girlfriend, Pearl is

24:44

quite cold and introduces herself as

24:46

missus Cunningham. Emma,

24:48

the older woman laughs at how

24:50

awkward it is and heads to the

24:52

kitchen into the

24:54

bin. Barney's not sure if

24:56

this is gonna work, honestly, no

24:58

one is. He

24:59

also confesses to Olive that

25:01

him and Ru have had an awful season on

25:03

the Caine fields up in Queensland. Especially,

25:06

Ru who's usually the leader of their

25:09

gang. He's usually the the man in

25:11

charge. First up, Ru strained his

25:13

back. He got to see. Then he fired

25:15

of their regular work is Tony Marino,

25:17

which you

25:18

don't have to worry about him. It's just a

25:20

fun name to say. and

25:22

replace it with a younger and fit a guy called Johnny Dowd.

25:26

Is that aussie enough

25:26

for you? Johnny Dowd? No. Not

25:29

really. Anyway. picking and riding a

25:31

Harley down Route

25:33

four road one, I don't

25:35

know. An American road.

25:37

Yeah. Usually, was

25:40

in charge because he's the biggest and the

25:42

best worker. But Johnny Dowd was

25:44

working even quicker and made Roe feel like

25:46

a bit of a washed up old man.

25:48

I don't know. They developed

25:51

a bit of a rivalry in due to his back being

25:53

shot, one day, roof fell to his knees

25:55

whilst cutting, and Johnny Dowd started

25:57

laughing at him. What a

25:59

dog.

25:59

Taking extreme offense at the

26:02

dog. Roo. Sorry.

26:05

I'm anti Johnny. I'm sorry, Ru here. He started a

26:07

punch on with him and the other workers had to break

26:09

it up. Then Ru cracked the shits, walked

26:12

away, and disappeared for two

26:14

months. And and

26:14

Barney, his mate, didn't

26:17

see room again until they met at the

26:19

airport to fly down to Melbourne. So

26:22

olive ish, Shopped, but

26:24

Barney didn't walk out with his old

26:26

mate. But Barney says he's never seen

26:28

Ruby in the wrong before, But

26:31

he kind of regrets not walking out with him. There's a

26:33

bit of tension between the two men

26:36

and roof

26:36

feels very let down by

26:37

Barney, so sorry about that. But

26:40

because he hasn't

26:40

worked for two months, Drew spent his

26:43

summer layoff money.

26:43

He said they save up big and then they party

26:45

for five months. But he's got no

26:48

money. He's usually the sensible one who bays bails out

26:50

Bonnie who blows all his drinking money, but Ru

26:52

is broke. Bonnie admits

26:54

to Oliv that he made the situation worse when

26:56

he told Ru that when he

26:58

when he left boys made Johnny, the

27:01

dog, the gang leader,

27:02

and that Johnny did a really great job.

27:07

know that guy that you last year, well, he replaced you

27:09

and he was way better than you.

27:12

Anyway, I'm your best friend.

27:15

So Rudy comes in and tells Oliver that he'll have

27:18

to get a job in Melbourne over the summer to

27:20

make ends meet. And everyone's like, you can't get

27:22

a job. It's the layoff. You're on

27:24

holidays, but Gotta

27:26

hate. Am

27:26

I right? Mhmm. Tell me I'm

27:28

wrong. Is it So you're wrong? He's not allowed

27:31

to work during the layoff or It's only

27:33

because they wanna I want it. Yeah. Yeah.

27:35

They want twenty four seven wall to wall

27:37

money. Yeah. He he

27:39

blew all his drinking money. Luckily, he didn't

27:41

drink all his blowing money.

27:44

That's when

27:46

I was kicking around for a minute. You

27:48

mean you mean it'll play on words by

27:51

mouth. See what I thought was, that

27:53

doesn't work. I won't say it. But

27:55

it just I I it was one of those things that was

27:57

gonna keep running around in there until

27:59

I got it out. Now it's yours

28:01

to do with. Have you I

28:03

feel like you're riding your own plane, your head over

28:05

there. Yeah. It's really good.

28:08

It's really good. People will be swimming to this.

28:10

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Imagine

28:13

jet skis. Alright.

28:16

When we cut to the next morning, the group have had a

28:18

fair bit to drink the night before. Olive

28:20

is getting dressed for work, so she's allowed

28:23

to work. She's like, what? She's a

28:25

waitress at a bar. And rue

28:27

and

28:27

she tells rue that pearl didn't

28:29

look

28:29

this is the uptight one, didn't love

28:31

barney getting drunk and certainly didn't appreciate him

28:33

knocking on her door in the middle of the night.

28:36

She's like fuck

28:39

up. This thing is separate

28:41

bedroom. She did not let him in. Barney

28:42

says, I have no recollection of doing that

28:45

at all. He slept on

28:47

the side I was

28:48

just trying to give you a toy. Yeah.

28:54

Cool. I've

28:56

got

28:56

a little little baby dress up

28:58

for you. You wanna wear a big nappy?

29:01

That's is that what we're is that what we're

29:03

talking about here? Yeah. Think you've

29:06

gone a little off the path. of

29:13

extrapolated shore, but -- Yeah.

29:15

-- it's between the lines. Does

29:17

it? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

29:20

The Matt Stewart plays between the lines of

29:22

the show. Barney comes in and

29:24

rue handsome photos of Nancy, his

29:26

ex girlfriend's wedding that someone sent

29:29

over. yeah, only glasses of them and tries to

29:31

change the subject by saying, she must

29:33

be crazy and then throws

29:35

them away. And I think he says, can't

29:37

believe she married that bookworm.

29:39

Hang

29:40

on. Hang on.

29:42

Extremely offensive. Extremely

29:45

offensive. And I'm like, that book won't

29:47

sound hot. I want him more about Where's

29:50

his plight?

29:55

When Ru says he's gonna get a job, Barney

29:58

can't believe it. He says, you must be joking. You

30:00

can't work in the layoff if I'm saying

30:02

this. And Barney offers to give him

30:04

some money. and he Ruth says no,

30:06

he's too proud and Barney says,

30:08

accusing him of being too proud to take it and says, you're

30:10

still mad at me because I didn't

30:12

walk out with you after

30:14

Johnny Dow was a dog and

30:16

Ru walks away again. He

30:19

just appears upstairs and Olives says to

30:22

Bonnie, you better butter butter up up tight

30:24

pearl. She's gonna leave. She's not liking

30:26

the situation. and

30:28

Bill comes in and Barneys. Does he

30:30

doesn't even seem too interested? He plays a

30:32

bit too cool for school. Like,

30:34

are you gonna leave? Are you I

30:36

don't care? whatever.

30:36

And

30:38

the she's trying to

30:39

pick him apart by saying, oh, I

30:41

didn't know you had some de facto wives

30:44

and he says, oh, I don't have any defect their wives.

30:47

I just have children in three different

30:49

states. He's

30:51

a real ladies man. That's your secret color. Yeah.

30:53

Yeah. I don't know. They're children's they're

30:55

from the relationship, not the relationships. Right?

30:58

No. They're from the relationship. It's

31:01

not sure about where this is going.

31:04

But he's got he's got a great

31:06

way of explaining what's happened. He

31:08

says, look, I was on the eighteen then I had I

31:10

got two girls pregnant at the same time.

31:12

And I said, it's

31:13

hard to do. Yeah. Yeah. Like

31:16

I said, it couldn't be done.

31:18

He found out that

31:20

both pregnant and he goes, look, if

31:22

I marry one and I'll make the other one set. So

31:24

you too work it out amongst yourselves.

31:26

They had a punch on you.

31:28

He says, the kids are now eighteen

31:30

and they're still working it out and he

31:32

winks at it. So what

31:35

are you? But he insists the partners are now

31:37

settled with the other man. He's like, I'm the only

31:39

one who suffered. I paid child support.

31:42

That's why I started working the Canfield, so I could send

31:44

them some money. And

31:45

she's like, we sound like you're a

31:47

pretty shit dad. But

31:50

he's try

31:50

he talks around and this is his line.

31:53

He says, you gotta

31:55

understand

31:55

me. Understand a fella might have done a bit

31:57

of chasing around, not because he's after all

31:59

the love and

31:59

he can get, but because he's

32:02

got a lot of love and he can give

32:04

-- Mhmm. -- two

32:06

at once. Yeah. Yeah. That

32:08

And Bill decides to stay off

32:10

that line. And she says

32:12

to Bonnie, would you mind taking

32:14

my bags upstairs? and she says,

32:16

but don't jump to any conclusions. The

32:19

bags are full of dinges.

32:22

There's a full

32:24

full bag. And that's That's the that's the first

32:26

half of the play. Is it am I picturing, like,

32:28

on the stage they've built a

32:30

second floor? because you keep saying they go up They got

32:32

they can't see upstairs, but you can see the front

32:35

veranda, you can see the living room in a bit

32:37

of a out the back. Is that normal to

32:39

play? You'd build like a whole set? Have

32:43

you have you ever been to the theater? Yeah.

32:46

No. Now what they do is they just go, I'm

32:48

going up the stairs. That's

32:52

a matter of fact. They're they're behind you.

32:55

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're

32:57

cold. Should you get

32:58

it?

33:02

So that's that's the first half of the playwright.

33:04

And I can't stress this enough. This was

33:06

apparently the first time that they used Aussie language in the theater

33:08

and Aussie theater. And just to bring

33:10

that alive before you very

33:12

ask tonight, I thought we could get our two

33:14

characters tonight. to

33:16

read out a bit of

33:18

dialogue, if you don't mind.

33:20

You guys want me to be reading involved.

33:23

So Oh.

33:25

I believe Matt, did I cast you as Barney?

33:27

Yes. And Oxy I've cast you as rude.

33:29

So I've got they're they're not all one scene

33:31

together. I'll give the context for each line just

33:33

to you the kind of aussie dialogue they're

33:36

using in the plates and I and

33:38

do you need me to do an Australian accent for it?

33:41

Yes. Honestly, the Aussie are

33:43

the better. Okay. Now goxy goodness.

33:45

This is your moment. Your your whole life is

33:47

for this. I normally talk with a pretty

33:49

neutral accent, but I'll I'll I'll do my

33:51

Australian one for you tonight, Dave. So

33:53

our first line from Matt,

33:56

okay, Barney, is when Barney tells

33:58

Olives that Ru is broke. This is what he

33:59

says. Thank God

34:03

joke

34:03

about a thing like that.

34:06

hasn't got a bean. Alright. The boy is playing

34:08

ticket down. Now don't go running

34:10

up to him. He's chock a block.

34:12

Better hear it all from me.

34:16

Incredible stuff.

34:19

Wow.

34:19

Wow. Hang on. That's just

34:22

Matt's voice, but one

34:24

octave japap. You've

34:26

got the part. Alright. Now we're gonna hear

34:28

from Ru. Second line is when Ru admits to Oliv

34:30

later on that it's true. He's broken. He

34:33

needs a job. Olive.

34:36

I am broke. You

34:40

Is that a type? Don't your understand?

34:42

That's the time I don't know. I think it's meant to me, don't

34:45

you under anyway, don't

34:48

you

34:48

understand? I

34:50

am flat, stoney, stinking broke. I

34:52

haven't got a brass razzle. They're

34:56

the best razzle. Incredible. Incredible.

35:00

ruin.

35:01

Is Oh.

35:04

Submit. It's Brass Razoo and Aussie

35:06

term.

35:06

Yeah. Oh, fantastic. Next

35:09

up, we have put on the flag.

35:12

I'll tell you that. Prepare

35:14

the union jack with one

35:16

brass rods. Next

35:18

up, we have Bonnie talking to Pearl about having multiple children to

35:20

different women. None of whom is married. She accuses

35:22

him of being a

35:23

no hoper, and this is what he says.

35:25

Do you have a a dialect

35:27

or a a time or anything you want me to Nineteen fifties -- Yeah. --

35:29

three. Yep. December.

35:32

In

35:34

a lounge. True. Mhmm.

35:36

Gotcha. Mhmm.

35:38

Not where women are

35:40

concerned. Don't you believe it ever

35:44

since I was a kid. Had me threshing ram like an exuded

35:46

eel in a basket.

35:48

How long are

35:51

you all dunk? Sounds

35:54

like that here's that

35:56

rugby union guy

35:57

who says the lines.

36:02

Honey

36:02

badger. Yeah. Bad.

36:04

Yeah. That's good. Badger ish.

36:06

Sorda deal in a basket.

36:10

Threshing Rand, like an

36:12

exiterity on the basket, and that's him talking about his

36:14

balls. It's a bad

36:16

joke. No. He's on your

36:18

jokes. Yeah. Finally, we have a bit later

36:21

in the play when Roooo confronts his mate, Barney,

36:23

about something. Take it away,

36:25

Roo. Well,

36:26

you're gonna talk.

36:28

not

36:28

them lies and dodges and them lies of yours. For

36:30

once, we'll have it

36:32

on the Matt Fair Income.

36:36

better

36:36

light than flying and having. I'm sure

36:38

this is an alps to it from Ivan away.

36:42

I think Alpha's very

36:44

influenced by the doll. That's that's

36:46

very He was probably

36:48

twenty when

36:50

So thank you so much for that. Now you've got a bit of a feel for the play.

36:53

I think we can move on with the with

36:55

with proceedings. Act two opens a few days

36:57

later on a very hot New

37:00

Year's Eve. That's the way

37:01

you've given away. We're back to Vegas

37:03

mode. That's normally,

37:06

it'd be like a sweaty handkerchief.

37:10

I'm giving you a sweaty a four piece of paper.

37:12

So it's New Year's Eve. A

37:14

couple of days later, Pell's not settled in and

37:18

still staying. Actually, Pearl has settled in. Don't know

37:19

what I've written that. Pearl set it in a bit. And

37:21

she's still saying rooms got a job at the local paint

37:24

shop. That's what he's

37:26

doing now. Pele's knitting,

37:28

Barney's writing a

37:29

letter, they sit in silence, and it's

37:31

about the shittest news that

37:33

you can imagine. Peal talks about how all of all of stories

37:35

about how much fun they have over the summer. It's

37:38

actually pretty boring

37:40

around here. They're

37:41

doing nothing. Bali suggests that they go to

37:43

the beach and they could still make it by midnight, but

37:45

no one is interested. So it's gonna

37:48

be boring.

37:48

The only one

37:49

going out is their neighbor,

37:52

Baba, who drops by on her

37:53

way to a party at the

37:55

Morrison's. Baba says the others can

37:57

still come with want. And Pell's like, yeah, let's go to the Morrison's until

37:59

the others are like, that's Nancy's cousin. We're not

38:02

going there. We hate

38:04

Nancy, man. It's

38:05

a bit awkward. And Nancy,

38:06

that's good just because she got

38:09

married. Yeah. Got married this on. He's not part of

38:11

the arrangement. That's pretty good. Remember that bit? Yeah.

38:13

You're learning. I think

38:16

I'm following now. Rue

38:18

is an old man who's

38:20

past these Cainefield bears. Johnny

38:23

is the bloody dog.

38:26

He's the dog that you served him as the

38:28

alpha and the king. Johnny doggo Dow.

38:30

Earl's pretending, which she doesn't. is keen

38:33

to bone.

38:34

Then you got Barney

38:37

who just he like

38:39

Johnny bit of a dog. He

38:41

also dog grew, but

38:42

he's still back to bones.

38:44

Knock it on doors, trying

38:46

to give people toys.

38:49

A favorite on

38:51

home, Matt, is winking

38:53

at me. And it was a

38:55

different time. Different

38:58

time. couldn't

38:58

get away with that anymore with good reason.

39:06

Barney tells Ruud that he met up

39:08

with some of the other Caine Cottonboys when

39:10

Ruud was at work at work at the

39:12

paint shop. like, I didn't even know

39:14

they're in Melbourne. I just ran into them at the famous Young and Jackson Hotel, Matt. Oh,

39:16

shit. So we recently filmed

39:18

an episode of our web series.

39:22

Yeah. The famous painting Chloe is there.

39:24

That's right. And, yeah, we had a beer

39:26

with Chloe. You do you have

39:28

culture up here? And in

39:32

Melbourne. We've got works of art now. But

39:34

I don't know what he got here,

39:36

but he I

39:37

grew. I grew. Oh,

39:41

you met you met the ACRA Co

39:43

host recently.

39:44

Rangel Stacy. Yo.

39:46

I'm fucking out. You're

39:49

a laugh, mate. I I feel

39:51

everything from now is just be disappointment. So the boys

39:54

are in town and Barneys

39:56

the boys

39:57

like Let's hang out with

39:59

the boys, come out for a drink, and he was

39:59

like, okay, until he finds out that that doggo

40:02

Dow, Johnny is also in

40:04

town. No. Johnny. Not Johnny's,

40:06

like, I don't want it to have anything to do with

40:08

him.

40:09

And he he

40:10

cracks it even more

40:11

more when Barney's, like, oh, they're gonna

40:13

go pickles and grapes of the

40:15

Murray next week. We could we could go

40:17

do that. And Ruth's like, what about

40:20

the layoff? And he's like, oh, it's not the same

40:22

this year. Is it? Let's go. And

40:24

Ruth cracks it because he's like, Olive's been

40:26

waiting for us all year. This is the holiday for

40:28

you. We can't leave, so they're not on the

40:30

same page anymore, these two guys. Olive and

40:32

Pell come back into the living room and Barney

40:34

begins pouring beers for everyone

40:36

and everyone relaxes a

40:36

bit and everyone gets on until

40:39

Barney raises the toast to happy

40:41

days and glamorous nights.

40:42

Pearl starts to drink after she hears

40:44

happy days, but when he says glamorous

40:48

nights, She laughed so hard. She chokes on her beer and goes

40:50

all over the living room. And she

40:52

goes glamorous. There's nothing glamorous

40:54

about what

40:56

we're doing. and Ollie

40:58

starts to cry and fireworks

41:00

start. Happy New

41:02

Year,

41:02

everybody. So

41:04

it's fallen apart

41:06

the dream. The dream, it's fallen apart before

41:08

they're very honest. What what

41:10

I don't know much about, wineries. What's

41:14

the great pick n region of the Murray. Is that a real thing?

41:16

Yeah. Andrew Peace is a

41:18

wine up there. Okay. Fucking hell.

41:21

thought I was gonna stump him with that. Paul,

41:23

that I don't know where? And

41:26

Table

41:26

Grove. Table Grove. Are you familiar with the work of mister

41:30

Andrew Peace? We live there's a beer. A beer. a

41:32

wine. My mom likes she's from Swan

41:34

Hill. Before we get started, should we get some

41:36

grapes to

41:38

table. Yeah. Yeah. Table. I'll head up

41:40

to the Mario. Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you so

41:44

much. Alright.

41:44

We cut to another scene a

41:46

few days later, Johnny's asleep on the couch.

41:48

She's covered in pain. Not Johnny. Wu

41:50

is asleep on the couch. Don't Johnny

41:53

has broke into the house, fall on the

41:55

couch. It's confusing. It'll no.

41:57

Rosa sleep on the couch after a long

41:59

day. And

41:59

then Barney Rucks up absolutely

42:02

waste out of his mind.

42:04

And he he wakes up room in the couch and says,

42:06

I've brought someone to see you.

42:08

Guess who it is. Johnny,

42:10

the dog doused.

42:14

Roe is furious. He's

42:16

I don't I don't know.

42:18

He doesn't wanna see the

42:20

dog go down. He doesn't wanna see him at

42:22

all. But he's

42:23

like, now I'm on the back foot. I've

42:25

gotta see him. I can't I'll

42:27

look like a whoosive. I don't say

42:29

hi. So Johnny comes in and

42:31

Rudy's like shake his hand and Rudy's

42:33

like, alright, gives him the most piss

42:36

weak handshake you've ever seen, using the dead

42:38

fish. Johnny says, I'm

42:40

sorry, I laughed at you for

42:42

falling over. with any

42:44

ads, but it was pretty

42:46

funny. Doesn't

42:48

sound that sorry to me.

42:50

And then Barneys, like, what do you say? We all go to the races tomorrow. You wanna come, Ru,

42:52

you can come hang out with the boys, and Ru again

42:55

is on the back foot. He doesn't wanna

42:57

go. But now he he

42:59

want to say no in front of Johnny. So he goes, yeah, okay,

43:02

I'll come to the races here, whatever. Whatever. Then he

43:04

goes, I've got to go have a shower now and he

43:06

goes upstairs. And

43:08

then Johnny and Barney are like, geez, that went pretty well.

43:10

Barney says to

43:11

Johnny, it'll be less awkward if it's not just

43:14

men. If we if we bring the

43:16

ladies along, Johnny's like, okay. Well,

43:18

you two have girlfriends. Who's gonna

43:20

come with me? And then Barney

43:22

says, I've got a great idea. You're a young guy,

43:24

you're only twenty five, got just just a

43:26

lady for you. He calls in

43:28

pearl. He says, pearl, come on in here and he

43:30

goes, that eighteen year

43:31

old daughter

43:31

of yours. Was she like something?

43:33

I knew it. I knew

43:36

it. I knew it was going somewhere like

43:38

this. He he said on a Pimp out

43:40

daughter. Yeah. He says, races.

43:42

She can hang out with Johnny and pills like

43:44

absolutely fucking never. She

43:46

cracks it harder than she has

43:48

ever in the in the plan she goes

43:51

upstairs, basically crying. Then Bonnie's like, don't worry, I've

43:53

got another idea. Bubba, come

43:56

in here. the nay

43:58

Nair out the back. Would you like to,

44:00

Nava, go on a date

44:01

with this guy, Johnny? And she's

44:03

like, yeah.

44:04

Right? And Johnny's

44:06

going on. Yeah. No. No.

44:08

I'm not doing nothing, but Johnny's like, oh,

44:11

no pressure. I'll I'll ask you

44:13

myself, Barney leave the room. And then he

44:15

says, do you actually wanna come with me? And

44:17

she says, yeah. And he's

44:18

like, okay, great. So they're on.

44:20

That's not what

44:21

she would've said

44:22

though. Is it she

44:24

would have

44:25

said. What do I look like a flaming drung out course on? Did

44:27

you renew? Let's have

44:30

a go.

44:32

So it's all settled. Johnny's like, wow, that went better than expected. Anyway, see you

44:35

later. Then Rudy comes back downstairs

44:37

from his shower. And

44:40

he's furious

44:40

ready for Barney making him agree

44:42

to shake Johnny Dog Dow's hand.

44:44

And he says to me he

44:47

says to him You

44:48

he says to you. I

44:50

very much see myself as part of this point.

44:53

He says,

44:56

Tibani, okay.

44:58

me. He says, you

45:00

you brought down to see me

45:02

looking like a clown, like

45:04

some stupid god up parrot.

45:07

a goa. He's

45:09

already pissed, but

45:12

when he

45:12

he finds out that he's volunteered

45:14

Bubba to go with Johnny Rue

45:17

is uncontrollably angry. The accusing

45:19

rule of acting, like Matt said, like

45:21

a pimp for their basically,

45:23

their god daughter The girl I've known since

45:25

she was five. He accuses Bonnie of pandering to

45:28

Dow because he's now the best sugar

45:30

cane harvester. Of

45:32

course. Of course, that's what you gotta do

45:34

with the best sugar cane harvester. He's been

45:36

used served as a sugar cane

45:38

harpser and a sugar daddy. And

45:42

the two start

45:46

to

45:47

have a bit

45:49

of a blue. they actually

45:50

start punching on. Olive runs

45:52

into break it up.

45:53

She says, oh, it's silly. You two

45:55

are men fighting over just

45:57

one bad season. But with

45:59

that rhubins, Barnys are

46:01

behind his back and forces him to admit

46:04

the truth. It

46:05

says tell her, tell her the

46:07

truth. And the truth is that Ru never heard his

46:10

back. He wasn't injured

46:12

at all. Johnny was just the

46:14

better man on the Cairn

46:16

Cottonfield, and that's why Rue walked

46:18

out

46:19

out of embarrassment. And now

46:21

he says he hasn't even been mad enough to tell the truth. But

46:23

now he's gonna tell a

46:25

few home truths.

46:26

Like

46:28

the fact that Barney isn't what he used to be cracked

46:30

up to either. Can you

46:33

say it again? Look,

46:40

I will but I also wanna make a note, Matt. If

46:42

you ever see a play, you can't ask them to

46:46

ring. Sorry, I missed that.

46:50

Rewind. He says,

46:51

Barney isn't the man

46:52

that he used to be either. He

46:56

says some women are laughing at you,

46:58

the former ladies man, after spending the night

47:00

with you. That's what he

47:02

says. Women

47:02

are laughing about, which is

47:05

pretty funny. to spend the night with a

47:07

man for a joke. That's that's

47:09

good stuff. We've got a

47:11

real funny fucking balls. Yeah.

47:14

Oh, look at them. They know what they

47:16

used to be. I'll tell you that.

47:18

He also says, you weren't

47:20

even good enough to hang on to Nancy

47:22

Deep cut.

47:23

Absolutely Deep cut. That's like Nancy on the in the crossfire

47:25

there as well. Even Nancy.

47:28

Yeah. Oh.

47:30

Sorry, Nancy. With

47:32

this, Barney grabs the Vase,

47:34

which has some of the Kupi

47:36

dolls in it on the mantelpiece, and he

47:38

goes to hit rue with the Vase.

47:41

but Root intercepts it and it smashes

47:43

all over the floor, the dolls

47:46

symbolically go

47:48

flying. So they have to

47:50

do this on stage every night. That would be

47:52

that would be You'd think you could fuck that up.

47:54

Right. How do you smash a vase to

47:56

make sure that all the dolls go?

48:00

to someone to think

48:02

about. I don't know. You put

48:04

power techniques in there. It's something

48:06

that exploded. I don't know. Oh, that

48:08

the local workshop would be making a killing act. You know,

48:11

the poster goes out for the summer of

48:13

the seventeenth doll. They're like, this is

48:15

gonna be awesome. Alright.

48:17

We get to the final

48:20

scene. It's the next

48:22

morning. When Ru wakes up and comes

48:24

downstairs, all

48:26

seventeen dolls which is too many doubles. And the other

48:28

gifts that he and Barney have brought down

48:30

during their layoff years have been

48:32

cleaned up. Olive

48:34

explains that she started cleaning and just couldn't stop. A

48:36

lot of gifts simply fell apart and

48:38

now the room is startlingly bare revealing it

48:40

to be the pretty crappy lounge room

48:43

that it's always been. Barney went

48:46

out after the fight and still hasn't come back.

48:50

Oops.

48:50

Meanwhile, Pearl

48:52

is dressed in black again, and

48:54

she's waiting

48:55

for a taxi. See how

48:58

solid when Bonnie will

49:00

return, but tells her that she thinks that olive she

49:02

so she says, I don't think you even know Bonnie

49:04

at all. Even after all this

49:07

all these years. In fact, nothing in the house is as you

49:10

described it to me over the years. Dave,

49:12

in a

49:12

I should tell you this, in an actual play, you

49:14

can't just read his alarms when you

49:17

fumbled them. Yeah. That's

49:19

right. You hurt

49:22

me. You hurt me.

49:24

You That's why you're not on Broadway.

49:28

Dog. You're the dog go down. Yeah.

49:30

Can I? No. Take it

49:32

back. Not the dog

49:34

go down.

49:36

But so she

49:37

tells, I'll live. This is

49:39

this place is

49:40

nothing like you described it. It's not the

49:42

dream house that you told me it was. But

49:45

tell us she's only ever spoken the gospel

49:48

truth and that it's different this

49:50

year. And if that's the case, she's the

49:52

last one that should be squealing

49:54

about it. Pear loss, if she's being blamed for for what's

49:56

happened here. And Ollie says, if

49:58

we have to point the

50:00

finger, yes. It's

50:02

all your fault. I can't believe it, Pearl. Bonnie

50:05

Pearl. Bonnie Pearl. Bonnie

50:07

then sheepishly comes

50:08

back in after being out or not.

50:12

He admits to Pearl

50:13

that she's leaving for the same reason

50:15

Nancy did because he couldn't offer her what

50:17

she wanted or needed. Pele

50:19

admits she was looking for a marriage, but when he asked her

50:21

to bring her daughter to the races, her daughter to the

50:24

races, she realized that that could never

50:26

happen. Got

50:28

it. See, who who are you blaming so far? Who's who's to blame? Who you

50:30

put you're pointing the finger? Are you pointing a pearls?

50:32

It's a pearlie. Pearl. Yeah. It

50:34

is pearl.

50:37

Like, great.

50:40

Well, the evidence is clear.

50:44

Bill takes off. She actually offers that an apology to Ollie

50:46

for not being the right type. So

50:49

she she says, sorry. see her

50:51

sorry Finally,

50:54

Rueh comes downstairs and speaks

50:56

alone to Olives mother Emma, who's the

50:58

old woman. Remember Emma from the start? The woman who

51:00

belongs in the garbage bin. Manaphorically.

51:04

Manaphorically. That's right. Well, she's

51:06

watched the couples for the past seventeen summers

51:08

and makes Rusey sense of what's happened.

51:11

he can't grip what's different now and who's to blame for

51:13

the mess they're in.

51:16

Pell.

51:16

But Emma tells him

51:19

no. No one's to blame. They're

51:21

just too old for the layoff season

51:23

now. Nancy saw that and got out whilst

51:25

things were good and she went and got married.

51:27

And Russ,

51:28

like, old, I'm not old.

51:31

You're old. Gotcha.

51:34

Absolutely smart. How old how old

51:36

are these people? Yeah. He's about forty.

51:40

Emma's like seventy. Yeah.

51:42

That's

51:42

I mean, that's pretty old. Yeah. But

51:45

then he thinks about

51:46

it for a second, he realizes that Emma

51:49

is right. Barney comes in and tells

51:51

Ruud that him and the other boys are gonna go

51:53

great picking on the Murray River and that he should join

51:55

them, but Ruud tells him He's

51:57

not leaving Melbourne. Not now and

52:00

not ever. He's not

52:02

going back to the Caine season. He's done

52:04

with it all and he's staying with Olives. And

52:06

when Olif comes in with the doll, she's rescued

52:08

the most recent doll. She's

52:10

confused when he explains that only Bonnie

52:13

is leaving. In fact, he says Will

52:15

you marry me? Oh,

52:18

wow. She

52:19

says, no.

52:24

Riddle. She yells, I

52:26

want what I have what I had

52:28

before. She starts pounding on his chest

52:30

saying, give me back what you've

52:32

taken, and

52:33

then she runs off. What

52:34

now what did he take? because you I don't think

52:36

you mentioned that. Has he

52:38

stolen some of her things? She is

52:40

still hanging on to the layoff

52:44

life style. Yes. Now he's saying, we could be married like a normal

52:46

couple. She's like, no, I don't want that.

52:48

Right. But if I'm pointing the

52:50

finger, is it Bonnie? He feels like

52:53

absolutely dog a girl. Really? The whole thing

52:55

then. What about Pell? Sorry,

52:58

Pell. Wait on Bonnie.

53:00

Yeah. Sorry, Dog Hammers. I

53:03

put up a mirror and I don't like what I say.

53:09

Emma comes in. That's the the garbage woman

53:12

and explains

53:14

through there's nothing you can

53:16

do for her now, sept clear out

53:18

and never come back again. Day offs in this

53:21

house. Lay offs in this house

53:23

are finished. And day offs

53:25

as well, both are she

53:27

says it's over for all of you. And

53:30

Barney comes

53:30

in and tries to comfort with saying, they

53:32

can make a fresh start together somewhere. They

53:34

don't have to go and work for the the

53:36

dog dour, they can do their own thing. But rue, furious

53:38

grabs the the late at the

53:40

last Cupidoll and starts to smash

53:43

it on the piano until it's in

53:45

tatters. He then sits down on the piano stool, and

53:47

this is the final line of a summer

53:49

of a seventeenth doll. The

53:51

final line is Barney putting his arm around Roe's shoulder

53:54

and saying come on

53:56

Roe!

53:56

Come on Roe! That's

53:59

hot. That's a

53:59

hot finish. Fader.

54:02

And with that, they slowly leave the

54:04

house for the last time and

54:06

the curtain falls. the

54:08

and we

54:11

did it. We did

54:14

it.

54:14

What a journey. Beautiful

54:16

journey. I What a journey? Oh, what a job

54:19

change? Well, I think, Bruce, the dog. Okay.

54:21

because he's the one who couldn't handle that

54:23

someone was better than him

54:25

at his jobs. he took a silk for

54:27

two months. Yeah. That's that's not started at all. It should've been, like, sweet.

54:29

I can, like, take it easy. Mhmm.

54:32

I'm assuming they're getting paid the same or they're

54:34

getting paid

54:36

per cane. So we

54:37

call? Have you gotta get a PPC

54:39

system up here? Like,

54:42

okay. because if that's the

54:44

case if it's costing you money, then maybe you

54:46

gotta some right to me. That's all just pride. It's

54:48

all pride. Yeah. No. It's a big man.

54:51

Well, you know? Hey. The big I

54:54

see myself in Rue, you know. A a big man. The bigger the man,

54:56

the heart of the fool, you just gotta get used to that

55:00

Rue. hey,

55:00

be dead now. But if he was still here today, if he

55:02

was still here today, I will still need

55:05

advice. That's true. I

55:09

love that part of the Caravan movie.

55:17

before we

55:20

scored out a five speaking of movies, they

55:22

they actually made a film adaptation of this in

55:24

nineteen fifty nine, but it was made by Hollywood.

55:27

still set in Australia, but they changed the place heading from Melbourne to

55:30

Sydney. Oh. And they altered the ending

55:32

to make it a happy

55:34

ending. Mhmm. Typical Hollywood.

55:37

They cut out a lot

55:39

of the Australianisms, but they did pass some

55:41

pretty aussie actors, I think you'll agree.

55:43

They had Ernest Borgnine from

55:45

Mikhail's Navy who played

55:47

Ru with an American

55:50

accent. And the most

55:52

Aussie woman herself playing Pearl,

55:54

Angela Landsbury. I'm not sure she

55:56

wrote. Two

55:58

absolute fair thinking

55:59

mollies there. as well as a happy ending. Apparently, they added

56:02

a

56:02

scene where Didn't say

56:04

accents. Oh, yeah. I've I've watched it.

56:05

It's on YouTube. You can

56:08

I've watched bit of it, and her accent

56:10

is horrific. I've been trying to read it too, but it's Lorraine's so small. Gosh. You're always

56:12

great. Yeah. Oh, the the other thing

56:14

they had a scene where your eyes are

56:17

Right? Thank you. They they

56:19

had a scene where

56:21

Ruida takes part in a wrestling match at

56:23

Luna Park, and I'm like, what the

56:25

hell is this? Anyway, so that's the move you can watch on YouTube if if if

56:27

you feel like it. But before we go, there's only thing one left

56:29

one thing left to do goxy and Matt, let's just give it

56:31

a score out

56:34

of five. Five being the

56:35

best. Four brass razors. Four

56:37

brass razors. Four brass razors. Big on

56:39

the brass razors. Right? Yeah. Okay. Can I

56:41

give my brass razors? Willie

56:44

Nilly. So four four.

56:46

Matt Matt How many? I think in the

56:48

end, I brought I I liked that all came together

56:51

then. None of the pedophilia ended up

56:54

happening, which I I liked, and

56:56

that that was a I think he might drone

56:58

playing you. Yeah. He really

57:00

thought was hiding it's played in my

57:02

head, but this one the one you were doing, I I reckon I'm

57:05

gonna say three point

57:08

seven five brass razors. Okay. You're really breaking down your razors

57:11

there. I think I'm gonna

57:13

give it

57:13

a four point

57:16

five browser, it's a really good play. It's really good if you read this. So, yeah, definitely encourage

57:18

people to check it out. Check it out. There's

57:20

a pretty high scoring play. What

57:22

did you think of it ladies

57:23

and gentlemen? hit

57:26

tonight. Give me round of applause if you gave it one. point two five stars.

57:28

Let's start from the beginning. You said

57:30

you said you said you've

57:32

given a live crowd to it.

57:35

Give me a round

57:37

of applause for one. Two. Okay. Three.

57:38

A little bit. Four.

57:43

I

57:43

think Ford's got five

57:46

five. He can't sounds

57:49

like no one here would

57:51

swim to it. Maybe,

57:54

you know, maybe catch a city

57:57

cup. Yeah. Alright. You can earn

57:59

a four out of

57:59

five. Cup

58:02

that keeping him under playwright is still alive. No.

58:04

And he's here. A

58:07

hundred and one. comes

58:09

out in the world. Before we go,

58:11

Matt, you're doing a show in here right after this. Oh,

58:13

yeah. Is there any tickets I've heard

58:15

today?

58:15

That's yeah. If anyone wants to see another one of

58:17

these podcasts, So

58:20

I'm getting really go see, but Dave will

58:23

be on. And that's on

58:25

in, like, half

58:28

an hour. And there's a couple of

58:30

tickets left if you can to, you know,

58:32

continue missing out on the most beautiful day

58:34

I've ever seen

58:36

in this dungeon here. And then later on

58:38

tonight, Dave and I are doing a a stand

58:40

up show, which we have titled

58:42

The Mats Show comedy Hour. And

58:44

There was a hundred percent consensus on that title. That's on an

58:46

eight thirty, and then goxie, you're closing out this

58:49

this is a whole festival. This is

58:51

day twenty two or so of

58:53

a festival. Tonight's the big final party and Goxy's bringing home what's

58:55

your show, Goxy. It's karaoke.

58:57

It's a well

59:00

written show. Well,

59:02

if if you're up for karaoke, you want That's ten. Ten

59:05

thirty. Ten

59:05

thirty. Ten

59:06

ten. Okay. I

59:10

can I've I've already heard that last time. I always want to have

59:12

the the top stats of the week that day.

59:14

The first half I was a brother.

59:17

perfect karaoke with me and Goxy. So come

59:20

down to ten thirty when I'm warmed

59:22

up. I'm genuinely gonna come along, Goxy.

59:24

How about for people at home, where can they

59:26

find you anything coming up? Not real.

59:27

You've just No.

59:30

Follow you on Facebook. Yeah.

59:32

You're hilarious. social. Yeah. You're hilarious.

59:36

see. I'm on most of the shows. I got kicked off a Twitter, but,

59:38

you know. Oh, what'd you do? Said

59:40

something about mister Bean. You

59:43

got to see the guy there. I Really,

59:46

mister Bean, apologies.

59:48

Elon Musk or whoever owns it.

59:51

Well, thank you so much for joining me.

59:53

Twitter. Steve, the real

59:56

dog. Yeah. He he started

59:59

it.

59:59

Stephen Twitter. follow him online. Let's give him a big red

1:00:02

applause for Matthew and Aaron

1:00:04

Garks.

1:00:04

Thank you to a

1:00:07

good chat comedy club. Thanks

1:00:10

for coming out. And then until

1:00:12

next time, let's just say, every time

1:00:14

that is book store

1:00:16

club,

1:00:18

everyone.

1:00:32

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