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Shellie: Welcome to see, we do have a voice. I'm your host, Shellie Turner. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is where the discussion starts. Breast cancer doesn't care where you live. It doesn't care who you know, how healthy you are, how many initials you have behind your name or what color your skin is. This podcast is a platform that will create discussion in order to help you find your story, your decisions, your information, and your understanding. Shellie: Now let's get into it. Hi, Shellie: everybody. It's Shellie and we are back again with see, we do have a voice and I have a guest today that is going to really share a voice that needs to be heard. Paris, welcome to see, we do have a voice. And again, thank you for your time. Uh, you have some time and I'm going to use every bit of your time and you are going to share, like I said, prior to the recording. Shellie: God has used you in a very special way and you have to really accept the word chosen when it comes to what you, what you're going through, what you have been diagnosed with, which is, I had to look it up to make sure I was like, how? How could that be? So Paris again, welcome to see. We do have a voice and tell us who you are, Paris. Paris: All right. My name is Paris. I am a multiple sclerosis, uh, survivor, thriver, and I'm also a triple negative breast cancer survivor. And, um, happy to be here and I have literally, literally, literally happy to be here. Um, I have gone through quite a few, uh, trials in my life and two of them dealing with my illness. Paris: And, um, like you said, you know, God has really like brought me, over and through so many things that I've gone through in my life. But these two particular things I rape about because looking at me on the outside, no one would ever know that I've gone through. and battled breast cancer. So I openly and proudly share my testimony to anybody that has a lending ear, um, because I have truly been, um, blessed to see the other side of survivorship and not a lot of people can say that they've had that in. Paris: So I'm just blessed to. You know, be here and share with you the things that I've gone through and how I overcame them and, you know, help somebody else, uh, ultimately with their, um, journey that they may be going through. So, Shellie: because that's what we wanted to do here and creating this platform is to create a wealth of information because once you get diagnosed with just let's talk about the breast cancer first, right? Shellie: Your next thought is, what do I do? And I'm sure that it, that just can't be avoided. Where am I going? What do I do? What did they just say? Now, do I have to sit? I have to process. I have to understand. You may have to say it again, because who are you talking? Were you talking to me? So you, you look for what I hope, see, we do have a voice can offer as far as Learning to advocate for yourself, learning that everything that's going to happen is going to come from you. Shellie: It's going to be your decision. You're going to have to understand the decisions you make, because like I said, you make a decision to make a decision. You've made a decision. So that is where you are going to have to start. But you tell me what came first, the MS or the breast cancer. Paris: So surprisingly, the MS came first and then, yeah. Paris: So I always tell people the MS. Going through the things that I went through with my MS really like pushed me to beat breast cancer because had I not gone through what I went through with MS, I probably would have been in a corner somewhere crying, you know, being diagnosed with breast cancer. Um, I do thank God for preparing me for the next step. Paris: that I was going to have to go through a couple of years later with breast cancer. So, Shellie: so the symptoms that you had from MS, what were the symptoms that you were having to make you go see what, what is this? Paris: So a crazy part is I worked in medical field and at the time I worked in neurology, I never heard, I, I heard about MS, but I didn't know exactly what it was. Paris: And I worked with a nurse who had MS. And I was like, they were like, yeah, she has MS. And I'm like, okay, you know, it sounds really horrible, but you know, not ever thinking in my mind that I will ever get diagnosed. So, uh, one morning I woke up and I had like this really bad, like, I call it an eye green. Paris: Cause it was like a migraine. And my left eye, and it just was intense and it just started with like this kind of blurry vision and it just started with like, and then it progressed to like these like glimmery, I can only describe as glimmer. And then eventually my central vision was completely gone. Paris: Like I was blind in my central, like I couldn't see anything. It was black. Yeah. So I, I told my nurse manager at the time, I was like, Hey, I need to go see eye doctor because I'm like having like. Some issues with my left eye and I'm having this really bad migraine. And she was like, go ahead and go to the doctor and, you know, let me know how everything goes. Paris: So I went to the doctor, the eye doctor. They did what's called a visual field exam where they check your, you know, you have to follow the spots on the, um, exam. And so the doctor came back in there and he was like, here's your right eye and here's your left eye. And it was like a big black dot in the middle. Paris: And he was like, nothing, nothing. And he was like, that is called optic neuritis, which is inflammation of the optic nerve. Right. And so he immediately sent me back to my job right next to my job was a hospital. He sent me over there to get an MRI. And you know, God, he set everything up. And I truly believe this because I went there and got the MRI. Paris: And the tech that did my MRI was the husband of a nurse that worked at the clinic that I was at. And he was like, this is off record. He was like, and I'm not supposed to tell you this. He was like, but you see these spots on your brain. He was like, that's, um, called MS. And I was like, I heard about that. I was like, but I don't know exactly what it is. Paris: And he was like, they're called lesions and they're basically scarring of, you know, your spit, like certain parts of your brain is like they're scarring and it cuts off your Right. Central nervous system nerves, right. You know, send signals. And so he was like that optic nerve was like inflamed, like really, really bad. Paris: So, uh, I wouldn't, I wasn't officially diagnosed, but I, you know, it was blessed to work at a neurology clinic slash you got the information, right? And they were like, my, I gave it to a neurologist and he was like, whoever's MRI, this is, they need to hurry up and go get. It's like immediately. Uh huh. And so I didn't tell him who it was. Paris: I was just like, you know, I was kind of like, okay, here we go with the secret. We're going to keep this a secret. So, you know, it was a blessing because the neurosurgeon that I worked for at the time, he literally like gave me the keys to his car. He set up an appointment with this really. Like, very good like eye clinic. Paris: It's like a optometrist. Um, they do like eye surgeries and everything. Like, you literally have to have like really good insurance to get there. He called the doctor and was like, Hey, My medical assistant needs to get there immediately. I need you to look at her eyes and I need you to put her on some steroids or whatever you have to do. Paris: He gave me his keys to his Porsche. Shellie: But he's going to let you drive with this one eye. Drive Paris: with this one eye. And he gave me the keys to his truck, his Porsche truck, and was like, just take it. I was like, I don't feel comfortable taking your car. And he was like, it's fine. He was like, I want you to like, I want you to get there and I want you to get taken care of. Paris: And like, God literally like set everything up. I got, he looked at my eye and he, you know, set me on steroids and I did three days of IV steroids and I was able to do it at home. I didn't have to go to the hospital and so, um, I had to get a lumbar puncture where that puncture your back and they take spinal fluid and that's how they diagnose you on top of your MRI. Paris: And so with all the tests that I had, they were like, Hey, Ms. Smith. You have multiple sclerosis and it took me back because I had no family history. And of course, you know, I'm like trying to educate myself on what it is. And I'm like, wow. Like what? So this was 2015. So I was probably like a month, maybe in my twenties, probably when I got diagnosed, like I was, I was diagnosed early. Paris: Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah. So, um, It took me back because I, I didn't really know and understand why I was diagnosed with such a disease that can, you know, a lot of people are in wheelchairs, they're, you know, happen to use a cane. It's debilitating. It's very debilitating. So you look at a disease like that, the only thing you can think of is, Oh my God, am I going to end up in a wheelchair? Paris: Am I going to end up, you know, not being able to walk now, am I, is my vision going to ever come back? Like, you know, that was scary for me. That whole little timeframe. Um, but you know, I am so glad that God set everything up and I was able to educate myself. And also he surrounded me with so many doctors and I was able to see one of the top doctors there at the time. Paris: And they treated me, you know, I, uh, extensive course of, uh, steroids for probably like two to three weeks until the inflammation like died and decreased. And after that, like I was fine. And then I have multiple relapses after that. And so, you know, yeah, like it's stress is a big factor with MS with, with any disease, right? Paris: Particularly MS, because if you are stressed to the point where you're just like, your mind is just boggled down with so many things, it starts to affect your body. And we all know when you have stress, it affects your body. If you have a disease, it affects the disease. And so, um, there were many a times my, my really bad relapse was in 2016, 2017, and I wasn't able to walk for probably like six months. It's Shellie: really, and you attributed to it because you were stressed out and it didn't help your healing. Paris: Yeah. I went through a period of time where I was going through my marriage, my previous marriage and I was very stressed out. I was very depressed. And it got to the point where I was so stressed out, my body just started breaking down. Shellie: I was going to say your body broke down. Your body broke down. There was nothing to fix anything with. Paris: No, you know, and I try my best to stay in a positive mindset. You know, you know, you really have to lean on God in those times. Moments because that's all you really, that's all you got. That's all you got. Paris: But you don't have anything. You can talk to a million people, but at the end of the day, Shellie: they're not gonna give you what you can get. Absolutely. In your spirit, in your heart, when you go to God and say, look, you are, and you don't even have to like highlight things for God. You don't even have to point out, you don't have to remind him. Shellie: You don't have to bring him back to hi, you know, to his mind. 'cause he already knows. He already know he's, he's waiting to see if you going to come. Or in your own understanding, you just don't trust and be stressed with anxiety. You're going to be anxious. You're going to be sick. And he's like, well, raising, he's like, I'm right here. Shellie: Yeah. And I'll be here when you get through. Exactly. You know, so it's like in your situation, it was a blessing that you were even in the medical field, but in the right medical field. Exactly. People that, that P with people that knew you personally. Cause I don't care. You know, we're just going to go back and forth and everybody can say what they want to say, but it is always who, you know, in any situation you find yourself in, Paris: it sure is. Paris: And Shellie: you know, it's, it's going to give you the green light. Are you going to be at the yellow light? Are you going to be at the red light? Yes. Somebody, if you know somebody you're going to the green light and that's just life. That's you know, unfortunate. That's the way we live. That's how we live. If it's somebody who you know, you're going to get there a little faster. Paris: It is. And it's, it's very true. And I feel like if I wasn't, you know, in the medical field, if I wasn't in neurology in particular, like I would have never, like if I worked in OB or, you know, primary, you would have got Shellie: a referral and an appointment. Exactly. Well, let me refer Paris: you to this doctor. I literally was right there and around the corner because that, that place, like there was neurosurgery on one side. Paris: Neurology on the other side, they just sent me down the hallway and my doctor, I talked to him and he started being made away, you know, they, they made away, they made away, they made away because of my reputation there. And they knew that I was a great worker and you know, I, you know, everybody knew me and they were like, we just want to help you, we just want to. Paris: You know, get you to a place where you're stable and you can still work. And he had you the keys to a Porsche. So he trusted you a little bit. Shellie: There was a little bit of, I had to make another run. It's like, I'm coming back. I'm coming back. But wait a minute, Paris: that man, uh, he was the best doctor I could ever work for because he's really like, you know, God, we sit, like God sent each other. Paris: Like we, he said, you were in the right place Shellie: in the perfect order. So how long after your last relapse, did you get diagnosed with breast cancer? Paris: So, that was 2016, 2017. I had a period where I was good, and then March 9th, 2021, which is actually coming up. Wow, you know that date? We do know that date. Oh yeah. Paris: We do know that date. Oh yes, I know that date very well. Uh, March 9th, 2021 is when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Shellie: And how did, how did you have symptoms or normal checkup or routine? Paris: So, um, the crazy part, like I said, it's almost, almost similar to the same story. Um, I had a previous surgery seven years prior to my diagnosis and I had what's called a papilloma, which is basically, it was like a tumor, like a small tumor right on the nipple. Paris: And that actually, that was cancer because I had bloody discharge. And they, but it was benign and he pulled me to the office. Yeah. I went to the, um, the cancer center there in Memphis, Tennessee, where I was living at the time. And he put me in the office when I was married and he was like, Hey, like, you know, you have a tumor that's under the nipple and you know, we need to take it out so we can do a biopsy and see if it's cancer. Paris: Right. Everything was fine. I was benign several years later. Fast forward to, you know, 2021, um, I had this. Lump on the same side. And it was probably the size of a golf ball. That's the only way I can describe it. Really? It was like a smooth stone. And I, I know to, you know, watch the area, you know, in between that time, you know, I got my monthly, you know, my yearly mammograms and everything, but I had this big lump and I ignored it cause I was like, okay, maybe it's just another papilloma and maybe it. Paris: You know, there's no skin discoloration, no discharge. Like last time, like last time, I was not ever in my mind that I'd think that it would be cancer. And so it wasn't until I was in the, in the bathroom and I was talking to my mom and I was like, yeah, I got this, like big, you know? And I let her feel it. Paris: And she was like, 'cause she always taught me how to do self right exams. Growing up as a, a. And, uh, she was like, yeah, she was like, you might want to get that checked out. And then I kind of went up a little bit further and there were probably like this size and it was like, it had a texture to it. And that's when it, I was like, okay, so let's go on. Paris: Yeah. Yep. So I went and got my mammogram done and where I go at, they do a mammogram and because I have dense breast tissue and if you know, um, it's very hard for them to see. So they did a 3d mammogram, the mammogram done maybe like 10 minutes later, they were like, Hey, go ahead and go into the next room and we'll do an ultrasound. Paris: And the doctor came in and she was like, it looks like you have another papilloma. So we'll just, you know, maybe you need to call your doctor and, you know, get a breast surgeon. I'm like, well, what kind of breast surgeon? Like just a general one. I had so many questions. I'm like, it's like, get to it here. Paris: What do you mean? A whole lot of information here. And so I just kind of felt lost because I'm like, okay, well, what do I do? Shellie: But see, at that time you saw the difference between knowing someone. And just being a patient in the clinic, I did, I did very different conversation. You're having, yeah. Paris: And, um, and you know, so I went in, got the, you know, I left there, maybe like two days later, they were like, they called me and it was like, miss Smith, we need to do a biopsy. Paris: And I'm like, okay, a biopsy. You guys said it was a papilloma. And she was like, yeah, I want to make sure, you know, I'm like, okay, well, this doesn't sound right, but okay. So I was like, okay, well, I had to advocate for myself and be like, okay, well, you know, make sure I ask all the questions and, you know, make sure I'm, you know, educated. Paris: This is different from the last time. Exactly. So, you know, and I don't have any family history of breast cancer. And so, um, they called me to do the biopsy and I remember they called me that Friday, had the biopsy Wednesday, called me that Friday. I will never forget that day in my life. I can vividly see it in my mind. Paris: Of course. I was, no, you don't. I was at work. I was doing x rays and they called me and I missed the phone call. And I was like, I think this is the doctor. And so I went into like one of the days at work and the doctor was like, Hey, Ms. Smith, like, I read you informed me that both tumors were positive for cancer. Paris: And I was like, he, but Shellie: he went at you like that. He said both tumors. Now they didn't tell you it was a tumor before that, did they? Paris: They did not. They just said. So, but he Shellie: addresses it. Yeah. But he addresses you. He did a tumor. So now he, he's telling you have tumors, right? Yeah. But this was Paris: a totally different, you know, this is the totally different radiologists. Paris: Like one was. You know, they actually did it and then the one that actually had, you know, they looked at it and read the results and had called the patient. So I'm like, you know, how do we go from papilloma to, to tumors? So that was just probably like the biggest gut punch I could ever get in life. So Shellie: what was the timeframe between the, your nipple, the, you know, the little growth under your nipple being removed to the two tumors coming? Paris: That was like, I want to say that tumor was removed in 20, maybe 15. Paris: So, and the, and the two that popped up were in 2021. Oh, okay. So that was a good while. I had to look at it. Yeah. I had to look at it. And I'm like, well, you know, I didn't really notice any difference, you know, right. And they didn't say we need to follow up because you may, right. Paris: Right. Or cancer. And it looks like Shellie: if they would have been following up, they would have seen that because that destined grow overnight, that big, that grew over time. Paris: But you know what the, you know, you have to be very aware of your body and yeah, if you, if I wasn't aware of my body, I would have never realized that. Paris: This thing was growing at a rapid speed, like it wasn't like it just like, it wasn't like, Oh, I just woke up one morning. I'm like, Oh, I got this golf size tumor, right? It was just over a period of time. And because you know, we, as African Americans, we don't, we, you know, we shy, even I work in healthcare. I still shy away from healthcare because I'm like, you don't want to go in there. Paris: You don't want to hear anything bad. No, and also you don't, you, you don't wanna feel like you're not being heard as well. Mm-Hmm. , you know, so coming from somebody telling you have, you may have a papilloma two, this is cancer. Mm-Hmm. , you know, two different conversation. And the conversation, Shellie: in my opinion, should have been with you after the papilloma. Shellie: We're going to keep an eye on you, you know, we're just going to keep, you know, let's do this every six months. Let's just see that nothing just comes up and this thing is manifesting in you over six years. And it's just like, Oh, they're not checking us. So we can just, let's make two, nobody's coming for us, you know, and there you are. Shellie: And you know, there you are. Paris: And, you know, had I known that years ago, I would have been, you know, on it and, you know, like, Hey, I need to follow up. But you know, hearing the word benign, you're like, okay, you know, I'm good. Yeah. Good to go. Yeah. But you know, not knowing several years later that it would be, you know, breast cancer and an aggressive cancer at that. Paris: I didn't just get diagnosed. And it sounds like it, right. You know, just, you know, just a regular cancer. Like I got diagnosed with the most aggressive cancer you could ever have. And that was the scary part because. Once I've mapped out the stats and I'm so thankful, you know, again, God set everything up. Paris: And I remember when I had my follow up with my surgeon, cause I saw him first. The first thing he said to me, I walked in the door and my mom was sitting across the room from me. He was like, Ms. Paris, he was like, I just want to let you know, God is not. Paris: And I went to, I wanted to just bawl and cry because I'm like, what doctor says that and tell you, like, who says that? Did you say, well, God must be mad at me. No, I, in my mind, of course, you know, you go through these millions of thoughts in your head. Of course. The why, the how, the why me and the how me. Paris: Yeah. I do that. That's funny. It was like God sent him to tell me to rest assured, Mm-Hmm , this is not why you have, you have this, right. This is not for you. This is for somebody else, . And I was like, okay, alright, let's move, let's go that. That's exactly what I said. So I looked, he was like, well, you're gonna lose your hair. Paris: He was like, you're gonna go through several rounds of chemo. You're gonna have to do, you know you're gonna lose your breast. And I had to go, I tried to negotiate that and he was like, Nope, he was like, your cancer is too aggressive. We could not just do a simple lumpectomy. You have to get a full lumpectomy. Paris: And I'm like, can we reconvene after chemo? And then we can try, like maybe discuss this. And he was like, no, I'm not even going to put you at risk for that. He was like, no. Cause they gonna dig deep. Right. And he was like, and you're probably going to have to come back again to just get it cut off in the first anyway, so we're not going to do that. Paris: And I appreciate him for telling me that because he was very candid with me. He was very transparent and my mom was in there. So I was able to. You know, I thank God my mom was in there because I literally was just like a zombie and I couldn't talk. I couldn't breathe. I was just like, that's what we talk about. Paris: You know, we talk about Shellie: that, that when you go for that initial consultation, don't go by yourself. No, you're not going to hear them. No, you're not going to understand him. You're not going to remember a word they said. No. And when they say, okay, your next visit, you're going to be like, well, what happened with this visit? Shellie: Right. You say. Right. I don't, you know, you tell me, yeah, you cause you're going to miss it. You're going to miss it. And that's just, this is common sense. You know, everybody that's been, you know, a guest on my show, you take somebody with you because you're certainly not, you're not going to hear, you're not going to understand cause you don't even really want to be there. Shellie: Right. The first, the first place. Yeah. Yeah. So your spirit is somewhere else. And, and you all still saying, I don't know that, you know, maybe not cause I don't think so. You're going to have to dig where you're going to have to cut my breasts. What? Right. Are you sure? Right. Are you really sure? You know, are you, are you sure you don't want to do the biopsy first and let's just see. Shellie: But you know, just like you said, here, you have these two tumors that are aggressively growing. Now explain to me what the triple negative really means because I know it, I've heard it, but it's like. What did, I mean, did that constitute the aggressiveness of your tumor? Yeah, yeah, it did. Paris: Um, so with like a regular, you know, like I said, I, I did have to educate myself because initially I got diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, which is basically like a regular, like a basic cancer. Paris: But they were waiting on this HER2, um, gene to come back. So triple negative simply means you were negative for estrogen. Your cancer is not feeding off estrogen. Your cancer is not feeding off, uh, progesterone. I mean, I'm sorry. It's not feeding off estrogen. It's not feeding off progesterone and it's not feeding off. Paris: This HER2 gene and most cancers feed off of them. So there's more targeted treatments like, you know, the treatments that are out now you can target them with that, but with triple negative, there is no, there is no targeted treatment for, uh, for triple negative because it doesn't, you can't treat it because it's like, there's no source. Paris: There's no sources. Yeah. They don't know where it's coming from. So, um, that's the scary part. It is the very, it is very much scary. And also knowing that. The stats. So my doctor, she's a she's brown. She's Indian. And first thing she said to me was black people are at the highest rates for triple negative breast cancer. Paris: And, you know, of course, in my mind, I'm like, well, why is it always black people? You know, we were, I raised for everything. And so when she told me they were still, you know, there's no studies out yet. And, you know, like I said, again, God really set that up because she's actually on the clinical child board at InShed Cancer Center. Paris: So she has access data to all these. You know, things about, you know, stats about triple negative and she's able to educate her, her patients. And I hear a lot of stories about a lot of patients have not been educated by their doctor because they don't do it. They don't do it. They don't Shellie: educate. They prescribe. Shellie: They just prescribe like Paris: you've been diagnosed with cancer. You're going to go through low and in, you know, radiation and all that. But she actually sat me down. I was like, this, these are the stats. And, you know, I'm like, okay, but still like, why am I diagnosed? You know? And at the time, you know, I'm like, am I, am I going to die? Paris: You know? Yeah. Let's talk about that. Now. There was like the, that's the first thing they addressed. They said, you're not going to die. Okay. We're going to treat it with chemo, aggressive chemo. We're going to do a mastectomy and then we're going to do radiation. Radiation was on the table at the time, but, um, so yeah, I mean, I, I actually put in my head. Paris: I was like, look, if I can. overcome MS and walk again. I can beat this. Like this is nothing. Regardless of how aggressive it is. Like I can beat it. And that's what I just, I, I kept that in my mind and I just kept it like the whole time I was going through it and I'm like, God, you're just gonna have to just, you know, walk me through this journey because this is something I've never dealt with before. Paris: You know, cancer, I'm not familiar. Yeah. Not, I'm not very familiar and I, I don't even have anybody in my family that I've seen, you know, my godmother, she had breast cancer, she passed away from it, but, Mm-Hmm. , you know, she's the first person I thought about, but, Mm-Hmm. , you know, I had to educate myself. I had to, you know, prepare myself for what was to come. Paris: You know, if the chemo worked, if it didn't work, because like I said, there's no targeted treatment. They could just, you know, chemo is the only targeted treatment. You know, and that's the first, yeah. And you know, sometimes it doesn't work for everybody, Shellie: you know, you're right. Because I've had several guests on the show where one doctor got very candid with, um, one of our guests. Shellie: And he told her, he said, I don't want you to do chemo. He said, I wouldn't do chemo. He said, I would, and she, she wound up being seen by an oncologist that was just filling in for her oncologist who had recommended and prescribed the chemo. But when this guy came in, he said, I wouldn't do that. And he didn't do it and she's fine. Shellie: So it's like different doctors have different opinions and my, and that's why I always say on the show. One of my guest's story is that she was told Black women don't get mammograms. And that was the biggest one for me that I just, what do you mean, but we also talk about, you know, the stereotypical racism in oncology and it does exist. Shellie: So, you know, when you go in there, just like you've educated yourself, I'm, I mean, I'm listening to you and I feel like I'm in class. And you've educated yourself. 'cause I, I'm listening to you and I have an appointment with my oncologist in two weeks and I'm go, okay, now pl explain my cancers again. Now they're gone, you know, 1998, 2010, and 2020 I got the her two. Shellie: Wow. And my first two were estrogen sensitive, but here comes this, her two and they're my doctor's. Like, what, where, where did this even come from? And I opted out of any treatment. Because I had such a hard time with the second diagnosis and the treatment being way off the charts because, you know, come back, it comes back. Shellie: So that means we have to do more. So it was aggressively treated. And I, I, you know, I was in the hospital. I didn't like, I almost died. It was like, what's going on? And I, you know, I tell my story for one of the days I was hanging off the toilet and I was saying, God, why, why am I going through this? Cause I was sick. Shellie: So when the third diagnosis came of the HER2, I'm like, uh, uh, uh. And my doctor said, well, you would be on a way more aggressive chemo. And I'm like, well, I don't think I could take that. Yeah. And then for, and then he said, after that treatment, the four rounds of that, you'd have to be on another chemo for the HER2 because you can't treat them the same. Shellie: For a year, and I've heard that. Yeah. Yeah. For a year. And it may affect your heart, but then after the treatment, your heart will go back to normal. I'm like, boy, bye . Paris: Love it. I said, yeah. Shellie: I'm like, no. He said, he said, Shelly, you know, I'm just have to tell you. I said, yeah, you can tell me, but yeah, I'm not, I'm not interested. Shellie: So, you know, I go twice a year. I have my scans twice a year. Yeah. Blood work, you know, regular, but. I'm not interested. You know, for me, there's a no vacancy sign here. There's no more room for cancer. And it's like, trespassers will be prosecuted. Because of the God I serve. Yeah, the God I serve is like, you cannot trespass. Shellie: And that's what you did in the past. You have trespassed. And that's over because now I know you can't, I allowed it because I didn't understand it. And I felt like, Oh, well, you know, I'm just going to go and do what the doctor says. But now I speak to me, I speak to my body, I speak to my health, I speak to my life and it's just not going to happen again. Shellie: That's just it. You know, it's just not. So that's why I wanted to create a platform for women to come and just talk about it because it is who you are now. Yeah. You know, you are a story. You do everybody that's been on my show. You have a story because you have had cancer. Cancer showed up, invited you to a party. Shellie: You didn't need to RSVP. Right. Yeah. Cause you was, you going to be the host. Right. You're going to walk in and like, Oh, is this for me? Yes. Everything in this room is for you. Welcome. Yeah. Come on in. But you know, it's just like you said, you have educated yourself. You are your own advocate. Yeah. And you know, the first thing the doctor says, Oh, your hair is going to fall out. Shellie: And I laugh at myself because my first diagnosis, I think, uh, a week before my chemo growing up, my hair braided. And when I went to the doctor, he said, what'd you do that for? I said, cause I don't want my hair to fall out. Shellie: And I laugh because he said on, he said between five and 10 days and on 10 days, I was brushing it out. Shellie: It was, I was like 10 days. Today is the 10th day. I was like, okay. So like, you know, I tell on the show, I I started combing it out and I patted it cause I was going to a party. I said, Ooh, just let it stay here overnight. The next day I called my sister in law. I said, come shave it off. Cause I wasn't going to look like a Chia pet, you know, and then then I said, Nope, just come and shave my head. Shellie: Cause so I can be done with this. But as women we have. A streak about us and we're vain in a sense because we'd like to dress a certain way. We like our hair a certain way and, and let me just say, you look amazing. You look, you look, you look really cute. So let me just tell the world how cute you look. Shellie: But it's like. We have a natural vein and it's not like, Oh, we're better this, you know, you'd look one, but we do care about the way we, we do care about what we put on our face. We do care about the shoes on our feet, I will say. So overall, when we hear a diagnosis, that's getting ready to change everything about, you know, and I've had guests on the show that had the mastectomies and it's like, I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror. Shellie: And it took me a long time to look. And for me, I did the radical, you know, cause they told me after the second diagnosis, I also removed my ovaries, you know, all this preventive. And they're like, okay, well my doctor's like, just do it. Cause it, you know, if it, if there's her two things showed up, let's just get, I'm like, okay, I don't care. Shellie: Cause I'm done. I don't care. Yeah. I don't care. Take them off. Take them off. So, but then when I have women on here that were devastated at the results, but for me, I feel like my surgeon just took my nipple off and I just have two straight across scars and I'm like, okay, well, I'm fine with that. You know, it doesn't really bother me. Shellie: But when I hear and see the stories of other women, it's like, really? So as individuals, when we decide to do that, when we just really are given no other choice, So that we can, you know, still have our lives. Yeah. Or at least, or at least make sure that we're gonna have long life. Right. What the doctors do Once you get breast cancer, it's a journey because all those things I said, your hair changes, your skin changes, your weight changes, your body changes, all these things that women put, put effort into. Shellie: So now it's like, who do you become after all this? And just like you, you made a point, I hear it, your ex husband and, and that's right. Right. You were, and during my first and second diagnosis, I was married. Shellie: Some people are built for it and some people are, and just like you said, the stress that you were going through, I, at the time had started my divorce, but I had to stop because I got diagnosed a second time and it just wasn't healthy. It was not healthy because you don't, I didn't get that support. Paris: Yeah. Shellie: Cause it was just like, Oh, well. You know, it just, I hear stories where husbands were the rock. I don't have that story. Paris: I Shellie: don't have it at all. Paris: Yeah, Shellie: no. So with that, it's like you become your own advocate and you become that person that's trying to hang on to every, all, all your qualities. Now they're getting ready to take them. Shellie: You know, they're getting ready to lay them on this table. And when you get it from this table, it's like, Shellie: You're just not the same person. I don't care what they say, you know, from just a biopsy to just a CT scan, the MRIs, the cutting on my body, the surgeries I've had. You're just not the same. And you make this wonderful effort to look on the outside, but through the grace of God, I'm lovely on the inside. Shellie: I mean, I'm ecstatic about the inside because just like you say, and see, look at the smile on your face. Shellie: Because it's like, God gives you rest, not sleep. He will give you rest where those things need, you need to rest with because you are the child of God you were in the beginning. You're still that child of God. You're always going to be that child of God. God created you in amazement. Yeah. So I see me as God sees me in heaven, as I am in heaven. Shellie: And that, you know, that's, that's what I, that's how I survive every day. Yeah. So it's like, you know, regardless of what your religious belief is, whether you believe or you don't, I do. Mm hmm. And, and it is definitely how I get through. Paris: Yeah, Shellie: and you know, I see that in you. I hear that in you and with what God took you through What is he giving you now? Shellie: Because he created you for something. Yeah, I mean you you have really been Lazarus out of the Yes, I was like what does he really have for you? What are you doing? Paris: Right? Shellie: So what are you doing? Paris: Um, so, you know, I didn't know I was going to be on this journey to, you know, of course not, you know, it's not, you don't get the memo, you don't, you know, but in that I've shared my story a thousand times and I will never stop sharing it because it is my testimony. Paris: Yes, I can help just one person. Two people, a thousand people. I pray every day. I'm like, God, you know, open the doors where I can test, you know, share my testimony to millions of people, because my desire is to help women, you know, not only educate themselves and, but to see themselves as beautiful. You know, I did the crazy thing. Paris: Once I lost my hair, my friend, he was like, Hey, I think you should do a photo shoot. And I'm like, you know what? Let's do it. And I did the photo shoot and I felt so liberated and I, and I felt beautiful and it wasn't just the outer appearance. It was my inner beauty was just shining through because I've seen so many people go through cancer and MS and they have such a negative outlook on life and they look like angry and they're, you know, I promise you, I will keep, I kid you not, I know one person, they look they have been through it. Paris: And they only have been probably a year survivor and I'm a two years out, but you can tell the difference. Yeah. I mean, that person and myself, not to say because, you know, but I, I embraced my journey and I trusted God throughout my journey. And I took that and I decided to share with the world, you know, what God has done for me because it wasn't by parishes. Shellie: No, it's nothing you did, you don't deserve it. Yeah, you don't deserve it. We don't deserve it. But it was Paris: simply by God that brought me through and that helped me every step of the way through Keenvoke. Cause you asked him, you asked him. I did, I did. You asked him. And I'm, I'm so glad I did because, you know, of course today in my days, I'm like, you know, God, why? Paris: You know, but you know, at the end of the day, God was like, okay, are you done? Shellie: Yeah. 'cause I'm, yeah. I'm waiting. Right? I'm waiting. I got patience Paris: so much. I have things for you to do and Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. cannot do them. You know, just being like, okay, okay. You know what was me? I trust Yes. And I trust the God a hundred percent Yes. Paris: Regardless of the outcome. 'cause I've had several, you know, things that have happened since my diagnosis and, you know, Mm-Hmm. surgeries and, you know, my, I didn't like chemo, didn't work for me. No, chemo did not work for me. My tumor actually grew in size right after I finished. Yeah. And you Shellie: were on an aggressive form. Paris: Aggressive. I did AC, I did Taxol, the two most aggressive. And I did, you know, several rounds of chemo. And as soon as I finished, my breast like was swollen. Shellie: Because your tumor was growing? Paris: Yeah, my doctor was like, she's up here. I'm so glad that your surgery is in a couple of days because your breast is swollen. Paris: She was like, I'm not even gonna do another scan. She's like, I could just feel that it has grown in size. It was decreasing. And then I guess it got angry at me. It was like, you know, yeah, it was like, who are you trusting? Again, first of all, I was like, you are not about to kill me. And I'm like, no, you're not about to kill me. Paris: Because you are trespassing. You are trespassing. And so, you know, I had my mastectomy and my doctor was like, you know, we took, they took 19 lymph nodes, five of them were positive for cancer. And he was like, we got all the cancer out. This was in October, November came, they did my, my follow up scan, found out that my, I had residual cancer in my pectoral area. Paris: And it went from 20 rounds to, I mean, 20 treatments to 35 treatments to radiation. Shellie: Mm hmm. So Paris: five. Shellie: Yeah. So you exhausted. Paris: Oh, yeah, it was bad. That was probably, that was worse than chemo. Honestly. Did it burn you? Did you get burned? Oh, it burned me. Like, I, I have, like, still, like, residual scars and, you know, it's hard. Like, I have lymphedema and, you know. That's why Shellie: I said, once you get the diagnosis, you never get your body back. Shellie: No. The way it is. And that's why you have to understand who you are. Yeah. This, this outside thing, it's like, it's gonna work anyway, because I keep saying, and I will say again, you look amazing. And I would never look at you and say, well, she been sick, you know, because you, I mean, you look amazing. So I will say that again. Shellie: So it's like all those things come with that one diagnosis, because this is how this one thing ravages your body and the stronger and the longer the, that you fight. And just like you said, everything you on, on you on this, now that's a new story for me that the tumor grew, you know, was feeding on the chemo. Shellie: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, this is, this is nothing to us. Yeah. We don't care. Right. We're going to show you. We're just going to show you. Keep on. Right. And it's like, you're having a competition here. Who's going to win? Right. So, and then all your lymph nodes, you know, you have five positives. That's a lot. Shellie: Yeah. That's a lot. And then to have the lymphedema. So are you in therapy for that? Paris: So, yes, I am a therapy for that. I get both, uh, injections and my pain. Uh chest wall and in my trapeze because it's like it's like a brick like they don't tell you Oh, yes, like because I I was going to do the reconstructive surgery like a year a year and a half ago, and you know, they were filling up my expander and for whatever reason my body was like, we don't like this and I ended up getting a It was like this big of a hole on the side You And they had to take my expander out. Paris: So I couldn't even forget that finish with my treatment. And so I was just like, you know what, God, you know, if it's meant for me to have it. You know, the day will come around where I have the reconstructive, but if it's not, I can put my body in the mirror and, and I'm like, okay, all right. You know, your body is your body. Paris: Your Shellie: body is just what you said. It's your body. Yes. It's not somebody else's. It's not the one you ordered online. This is what you have. Yeah. And that's why I tell, you know, we have the discussion here that You know, some men can and some men can't. And for those that can't, I don't even care whether or not, because I'm, I'm just not there. Shellie: I'm just not there. You know, I ha I have a man, I have a man and that's my father. And that's all, that's all this important to me because nobody can do me like my father in heaven does me. I mean, God does everything for me. He's, he's the source of the resource. And everybody else, just, just watch, you know, just, just watch how this goes and that's all I got for you, you know, but I'm not interested in a relationship outside of my relationship. Shellie: With my Bible or, you know, with, with, with Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and savior, that's all, that's my relationship. And I love when I talk about that and you just smile like, Ooh, yeah. Paris: Because you, my, my, my grandmother, she, she got divorced years ago, but she, when I say this woman, she, like her and God, like that's her man. It is my man, my man, that is her man. The intimacy of this relationship. Shellie: I can't, I just wouldn't even expect anybody to know what direction to go to get it. Exactly. So absolutely not. Shellie: Absolutely not. So is your grandmother still with us? Paris: She is. She's turning 80 this year. Shellie: Tell her I said, Hey, cause I know what she means. I will. Paris: Look, and I tell her, I need to get on Paris: the phone call tonight because every time I talk to her, she's like, yeah, that's my man. That's my man. Nobody can replace him. Paris: That's my man. Tell her, Shellie: tell her, I agree wholeheartedly. I agree. I would definitely tell her. So any, like, are you a part of any organizations where you speak and you, you know, tell your story? Paris: Yeah. So I'm with Tiger Lily, which is wow. How me and Kelly met, um, Tiger Lily, and, um, I just got on American Cancer Society. Paris: Um, but I haven't done anything with them quite yet, but I did speak with somebody about, you know, talking and doing panels and I've done a panel discussion with, um, with, um, With through Tirewood, because they set up different things and avenues for you to really succeed and tell your story and also educate not only for yourself and advocate for yourself, but for every to advocate for other people. Paris: And so, um, I've done quite a few things, uh, this past year. And so I just pray that God opens up more opportunities for me to, you know, share my story and talk more to different people about, you know, my experience with cancer and, you know, hopefully that, you know, we'll come, you know, I know that God will set that up and I know that he'll open that door for me because, well, because he saved your life for Shellie: a reason. Shellie: Yeah. And, and everything that you're able to talk about. It's not for you anymore. It's for somebody else to hear. Because, you know, on the show, we talk about how every day, right now, today, somebody was diagnosed. And I talk about, like, when I go into my oncologist, I forget, you know, I think I'm healed. So I walk in there in the waiting room. Shellie: There are no seats. And when they call my name, I walk. And the double doors, the chemo room, and I always tell the story that, you know, I walk on the side of the nurse. So, you know, I don't, she's, you know, she blocks my vision, but I always have to look at those doors. Yeah. And it's like, ugh. Yeah. And you, and I, I do. Shellie: And I think, I don't know if that's selfish or, I think because it worked out for me and I'm still here and I am thriving. Yeah. But when I opened that door to the office, it's like, Oh, okay. Yeah. I guess not. Yeah. So like I said, right now, today, somebody was diagnosed. Yeah. That is going to be looking for an answer. Shellie: Some direction, especially the information and you know the information that they have like where I go sometime. Well, they have what's called a breast cancer coordinator. Yeah, but she she may not have the answers that you're looking for for you and it may not be somewhere where you live. Yeah, that's going to be convenient for you to go to. Shellie: Right. So you have to be able to meet people where they need you to meet them. Mm hmm. And it's not always where you are standing. Yeah, you do have to. Are you going to the breasty camp? Yes, I did get a chance Paris: to go last year, but I was like, I'm going this year. Shellie: I'm going. I, uh, Kelly had told me that it should be on the website now. Shellie: It is Paris: now. Yeah. Shellie: Oh, and it's breasties. com. Paris: Yeah. And you can actually download the app and like sign up and you can get, um, cause last year I tried to get a scholarship cause I couldn't really afford to go last year. Uh huh. Uh, And it'll probably be the same thing this year, so I'll probably talk to Kennedy to see if I can, like, maybe get, like, a scholarship. Paris: Because they paid for it. The only thing I had to pay for it was my ticket. Shellie: Your flight ticket or your ticket to the camp? Paris: No, my, my flight ticket to New York. Okay. And where are you located? So, I'm in Atlanta. Shellie: Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, so I'm going to go because I'm going because I'm going to see all these people that have been in my show and I'm going to go and we're going to really hug and thank each other. Shellie: Yeah, but Paris, I am so grateful. I'm grateful for your story. I am. And I'm grateful to see that smile on your face because Paris: it Shellie: it wasn't it wasn't a promise that you'd have it. Yep. And you have a smile on your face like you are grateful and you are thankful and I just want to say that I'm grateful and I'm thankful to you for sharing your time for volunteering to Kelly's email and Kelly. Shellie: I will reach out and thank Kelly for this wonderful person. Yes. But thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I do look forward to seeing you at camp. Paris: Thank you. I'm so excited. I'll get a chance to meet you in person. Absolutely. So you take care Shellie: of yourself. You take real good care of yourself. Shellie: I will. You too. And continue to be the advocate you are Pierce. Thank you again. So much. Shellie: Thanks everyone for listening. Make sure to follow and rate the show wherever you get your podcast. This podcast is produced by rainbow creatives with executive producer, Matthew Jones, producers, Steven Selnick and editors and mixers, Rob Johnson and Stefano Montelli. See you on the next one.