0:00

Better.

0:01

Yeah, do you do that on your

0:03

podcast? Really?

0:05

But it's nicotine gume, so I put it up.

0:06

Whoa, I didn't even think you smoked.

0:08

I never smoked in my life.

0:10

But you just need a little more pap in your steps.

0:13

True, that's exactly. You're the only

0:15

person that got it right.

0:17

It is.

0:17

It's a stimulant. Yeah. Uh,

0:20

you know what there's This is boring, but there is

0:22

just a I don't want

0:24

to say trend, but there are a lot of people that use nicotine

0:27

now that never smoke because it

0:29

helps you think it releases

0:32

dopamine. I'm going to get

0:34

you back on it. I've gotten so many people on it,

0:36

and I don't even like it because it is highly addictive. So

0:38

it's like you're like sending

0:40

someone down a path like a new lifestyle

0:42

thing.

0:44

It's so interesting because the only thing,

0:46

I mean, it's not interesting.

0:51

But don't get me wrong.

0:53

What's interesting is that my

0:57

whole addiction to.

0:59

Able to hear you smile.

1:01

That was my old joke. Do you remember that?

1:03

Of course again, that was

1:05

like my asking you if you heard that

1:07

other people code.

1:08

I don't mean to interrupt, but I'm sort of obsessed

1:10

with not getting jokes, Like, I think it's

1:13

really if I

1:15

don't get a joke, I'll think about it for a long

1:17

time, Like it like haunts me. And

1:19

the fact that that's one of the biggest

1:23

they just didn't see it and they like

1:25

were like loud about it, and that

1:27

makes me so it was so weird.

1:31

Yeah, I mean it's that,

1:33

you know what, people just don't get iron my

1:36

whole addiction to smoking, I don't. I'm

1:38

not convinced it was physical. I think I just

1:41

really love the activity.

1:42

Oh you know what, my nicotine use is informed

1:44

by you telling me that cigarette

1:46

smoking was good for writing? What

1:49

huh? So I

1:51

noticed this is boring, but you don't it's

1:53

boring, but we're not recording. I

1:56

noticed that every once in a while,

1:58

you know, you'd be at a wedding or some you smoke a cigar and it would

2:01

just be like in the most like manic mood.

2:04

There's like three hundred milligrams of nicotine

2:06

in a cigar. That's ridiculous. This is six

2:10

which is I

2:12

want to ask you you can get

2:15

this.

2:15

No, but I'm what are you saying.

2:17

You said when you would be on script and you'd smoke,

2:19

you were like it's the only thing that I really noticed the difference.

2:21

And then I got curious about like, why does hemingway

2:24

and it's fucking all these writers,

2:26

why are they always smoking a cigar? And

2:28

it's because and this is almost over, I'm

2:31

so I'll go on and on the house. I

2:35

have to say it's almost over. It's

2:37

boring, but we're like, we're ninety

2:39

percent done. It elevates your heart

2:42

rate, so it puts you in an aerobic state

2:45

and it relaxes you, so it's up and down

2:47

at the same time, which is ideal for

2:49

sitting and writing, because you know how you go

2:52

for a walk and it like helps you think. That's

2:54

what nicotine is doing. It elevates your heart rate, helps

2:56

you think it's over.

2:58

What about that thing

3:00

that starts with a bee that people take for a stage

3:03

fright.

3:04

I've never heard of this.

3:05

Starts with a bee. I think some

3:08

drug people take.

3:09

Like a street drag. Yeah,

3:12

beta blockers.

3:15

Why would you want to get over stage fright?

3:18

Like I don't want to mellow out before I go on

3:20

stage.

3:21

You don't have stage fright.

3:22

Right, I get an elevated heart.

3:24

I hadn't done stand up in about

3:28

I think It was like three weeks and then I

3:30

had some shows this weekend, so I did a couple sets in

3:32

town to get ready, and the first

3:34

one I was standing it was at the

3:36

improv. I wasn't intellectually

3:39

nervous, you know what I mean, because not

3:42

not to put down, just to set at the improv. But

3:44

I knew it wasn't. I wasn't in danger or

3:46

anything. But I was like, oh my god,

3:48

my body does not know I'm not

3:50

skydiving right now. So I get that.

3:53

But that's what helps you go up, and

3:55

that's what helps me go up. Don't

3:58

get me now. I'm a guest so hard because I love

4:00

saying everything I think. My therapist said, anxiety

4:03

is like a bell curve, you know what I mean. You want to be right

4:05

here where it helps you. If

4:07

you have too little, you don't do anything. You have

4:09

too much, you don't do anything. You know.

4:11

What's funny is I can't believe I'm actually

4:13

in the room with you and not watching a

4:15

clip on Instagram and what

4:18

not watching a clip on Instagram?

4:20

Do you ever tell YouTube not interested?

4:23

Yeah?

4:24

No, I don't do on YouTube.

4:27

I tell Instagram not interested in the posts

4:29

like this and they're like why, and I'm like

4:32

it at the time, I think it gives you

4:34

an option like I'm just not interested

4:36

or something. And then one that's like it's violent,

4:38

it's hate, it's this.

4:39

I have to do that with ads on social

4:42

sometimes when it's and I don't feel

4:44

good about it, but it shows you some horrible

4:46

image and I have donated in the

4:48

past, and now you're in trouble because

4:50

your whole feet is going to be like, you

4:53

know, yeah, tragedies.

4:55

And I had to start saying, please stop showing

4:57

with that. And there's an option for AD you

5:00

know, it'll just show you like I'm

5:02

not trying to be funny like a kid in an earthquake

5:04

or something like a terrible why.

5:06

Would that be funny.

5:07

I just don't want people to think I'm like riffing, oh,

5:09

like in the earthquake, like walka walka

5:12

it's truly or cleft palate or something

5:14

like really sad things and I'm

5:16

just like it's a sensitive subject. Like you

5:19

know, who I give to is give well dot org if

5:21

you heard of them. Some billionaire

5:23

genius figured out that like everyone gives

5:25

to the Red Cross or everyone gives to this or whatever,

5:28

and they figured out, like with with math,

5:31

with science, who is getting the least

5:33

amount of support like good things,

5:35

and they take your money and they give it to

5:37

these like people who really really

5:39

need it. So I started trying to be more

5:41

less less impulsive.

5:43

Feels like there'll be like a scandal

5:45

with give Wells in the next five

5:48

to ten.

5:48

Well, I mean, yes, any anywhere

5:52

money is you could you could be sure.

5:54

All right, it's your okay, so here we go. You began

5:57

by sitting down and saying you're wrecked.

6:00

Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't want to get on the record

6:04

or dot org. Is

6:07

that this is one of the weirdest

6:10

weeks in America, like

6:12

the week after the holidays. Yeah, and

6:15

I just did an episode of my podcast and both me

6:17

and my guests were I actually it was your guest,

6:19

Justin Martindale. Do you know him? I

6:21

do. I thought you were going to be like, not

6:24

a fan because this is your snap judgment.

6:26

Yeah. Well, I wanted to bring this gavel

6:29

in so I can. Yeah, you

6:31

know who gave me this, Michelle Collins Love.

6:33

Years ago. My old

6:36

Ames screen name was gavel Face, and

6:38

it was because she said when she looks at

6:40

me, she just sees a gavel.

6:42

I was just gonna say, no, you didn't even have to explain

6:44

this. If you just brought that into

6:46

a lunch, I'd be like, you.

6:49

Found I need a more portable one for lunches

6:51

and things.

6:52

This is like flavor flaps clock y. No

6:55

one's like, why are you wearing that clock? He's flavor flake. Why

6:57

do you have a gavel? Uh No, it's perfect.

7:00

I forget what I was. Oh, but yes, it

7:02

helped clear down to just say, well,

7:06

so Christmas lights and holiday lights and all

7:08

that stuff is to help us because the winter is

7:10

so hard. It's so dark, and

7:12

it's cold. I know we're in California, but it

7:14

still gets cold and there's not much going

7:16

on. And then you have that holiday time and

7:19

I wasn't with my family, it would have been way worse. If

7:22

I mean my parents. I was with my family

7:24

and I love that, and but even there

7:26

there's some guilt that you're not with your parents.

7:28

So there's a lot of feelings in the mix. And

7:30

then this is the time of year

7:32

where we're abandoned, meaning Christmas

7:35

trees going. It's the saddest needily

7:38

Christmas tree is dragged out there's

7:40

a death to that hit

7:43

you saw.

7:44

I couldn't get it. I was like, this

7:47

my death.

7:50

Old to go.

7:51

I was like, but

7:56

you said so many things in such

7:58

a short time. We're abandoned.

8:01

We're abandoned by the lights and

8:03

the trees and the festive. So like that's

8:06

there by design. Anthropologically,

8:09

it makes perfect sense that during the darkest

8:11

time and the coldest time we would put up artificial

8:14

light and it makes us happy. We've been doing that since it was

8:16

candles, which was very dangerous, but like, we're doing

8:18

the same thing. But now I'm like taking lights

8:21

off. How sad

8:23

is that? That's what I did last night. I'm taking lights.

8:25

No more festivity, no more fun.

8:27

And no more merriment, no more Christmas

8:30

music. I don't even love Christmas music. But it's

8:32

sad that I'm like, so that's just.

8:34

No hot mold wine, no

8:36

cider. It is funny that winter there's

8:39

a season and a time for merriness,

8:42

and then if you were to be married during another

8:44

time, people are like, what the fuck is Sometimes.

8:47

We had a sign on our house that just said

8:49

joy, like kind of a Christmas y light up sign that

8:51

just said joy. And last year we left it up

8:53

and I really like that because I was

8:55

like, why are we going? Joy is over? It's

9:00

it's like when you don't, you know, do

9:03

a vice for a month so that when you go

9:05

back to it, it's better.

9:06

Seventeen years, honey.

9:08

You know it's been six years for me.

9:10

Really.

9:15

The sound the sound

9:18

of drunkenness. Most people

9:20

that hear the sound though they are drunk. But

9:24

thank you for playing that.

9:26

What an achievement, What an accomplishment.

9:29

I don't like it.

9:30

I don't like that.

9:32

I'm sorry. Seventeen years.

9:35

I'm serious. I'm serious.

9:36

It's hard, right, Uh yeah,

9:39

I don't Well,

9:41

it's funny.

9:41

Probably actually here let me guess no, no, no, no,

9:44

no, you microdose, well

9:46

no, I will do hallucinogens.

9:49

You smoke weed.

9:51

But all that, I didn't think you were going to go that. To

9:54

me, alcohol was the problem. Yeah,

9:57

don't give me. You get me started. I want to be your

10:00

guest. I don't just want to be a blabermin.

10:01

I'll hit this, this the new.

10:03

Meaning of this, stop and I will.

10:05

I'm here to be whatever you want me to be. But

10:08

just know I'm excited to see you and

10:10

I'll just go. But here's me

10:12

too, thank you. Weed has

10:15

a built in it

10:19

cancels itself. For me. If I smoke

10:21

weed and I enjoy I get very silly

10:23

and giggly all the things, and

10:25

I have a set the next day, I'll just be

10:27

behind myself. There's that

10:29

boy genius lyric. I'm in the back

10:31

seat of my body. That's sort of how I feel.

10:34

I'm like depersonalized and I'm just not

10:36

as sharp, so I can't It's not

10:38

a sustainable addiction for me. Some

10:40

people can roll with it. I'm very sensitive,

10:42

so if I smoke weed and the other thing, I'll

10:45

be a little depressed for

10:47

me.

10:47

So the answer is, you don't smoke weed.

10:50

I will very rarely,

10:53

you know.

10:54

But so what's the six years booze?

10:56

Yeah? For me, the problem with booze is, I

10:59

mean, there's a lot of problems with booze, but like it

11:01

was sustainable in

11:04

the sense that I could do it every day. I

11:06

could, I was okay with hangovers. I

11:09

just the whole, for lack of a better word,

11:11

lifestyle was maintainable

11:13

for me. So that was hard

11:15

to stop. But weed is

11:18

a self canceling thing and hallucinogens,

11:20

yes, but that's like four times a year

11:23

tops. I know that sounds like a lot,

11:25

but

11:27

as I said it, I was like I.

11:30

Could say nothing and you'd just be bouncing

11:32

off what you think I'm thinking and

11:34

I'm wrong.

11:35

No, it was nice when you guessed, and

11:37

I thought you were gonna guess that. Oh, alcohol

11:40

was easy for you to quit. The reason it was easy for

11:42

me to quit is easy ish for

11:44

me to quit was because I have a very black

11:46

and white brain, and that's what addicts have. You

11:48

actually said that to me, because what I was doing

11:51

was I was getting drunk at night and then

11:53

in the morning, I would exercise, I would

11:55

drink wheat grass, I'd drink green juice

11:57

all day. And you it was a very helpful

11:59

moment. You were just like, that's a

12:01

classic alcoholic thing, and

12:03

I was like, oh my god, and

12:05

that extreme thing. So

12:08

when I quit, I applied the

12:11

wound of having an addic kind of brain to almost

12:14

like being addicted to being sober or

12:16

or the black and whiteness, like I don't drink anymore,

12:19

moderation.

12:20

And all things including moderation.

12:22

I don't know where you got that.

12:24

Oh, I don't either, because

12:26

I can't and I used

12:28

to be really into it.

12:30

I can't. I can't do moderation. If

12:32

I'm doing something, I do it. And I like that about

12:34

myself.

12:35

Do you.

12:37

So if I'm going to drink, I would get

12:40

like a Martini or Manhattan and

12:42

I just drink it like a shot because I.

12:44

Don't think what I say.

12:46

I don't think you need tobacco. You're you're

12:49

You're hopped up right now. You're

12:51

absolutely hopped up. I've never felt

12:53

more mellow in my life than talking to you

12:56

right now.

12:56

I'm excited to see you.

12:58

You are I am. How can you ben from

13:00

your friendships right up top?

13:03

No, I don't. Actually I thought about it, and I was like, we

13:05

already kind of did talk about this.

13:07

We had a nice exit interview.

13:08

Yeah, I don't.

13:09

It is sad, though, Oh you know what

13:11

I mean. I'm not. I'm

13:13

not unaware of the morning. I

13:16

sometimes I go on like I try to stay off social

13:18

Actually yeah, but I do. And

13:21

one of the things I'll do if I'm really bored

13:23

on an airplane or something, instead

13:25

of giving in is I'll just go in my photos

13:27

and I'll what I'll do is maybe everybody

13:29

knows this, but you go albums, then you click years

13:32

and you can just scroll back to a year

13:35

and it'll show you like the time you're in

13:37

that what's.

13:38

Our year twenty fourteen.

13:40

I don't really pay attention to the numbers, but like,

13:42

I'll just go back and find an old year. And

13:45

there are times and it's not just you. There

13:47

was just a time when it was brunch with

13:49

you and Joe, Mandy and Nick cool Malaney.

13:52

You're like comedy class, my comedy

13:54

class.

13:55

Yeah, exactly. And there's

13:57

when I say it's sad it's just because you're mourning

14:00

that everything changes. Yeah,

14:02

but sometimes I catch myself again that attic brain

14:05

like Mulleni and I don't really talk. I'm not saying that

14:07

shots fire.

14:08

Okay, Internet, let's get our heads

14:10

together and figure out.

14:11

Why does the Mulai talk to

14:13

beat up?

14:14

Does anyone have any thoughts of being it's comment

14:17

below that.

14:19

You are so funny,

14:22

That is the funniest thing you could have said.

14:25

Any thoughts?

14:28

Clear?

14:29

His life is just changed, So I

14:31

don't take it personally. That's if

14:34

John saw that, I wouldn't he wouldn't be like, why

14:36

did you say that? It's just like we kind of fell out of touch.

14:38

We had breakfast this morning.

14:40

Did you really maybe

14:44

that wouldn't hurt my feelings? People?

14:47

We didn't. We didn't.

14:48

But here's here's my point. Here's

14:51

my point. When I go I

14:53

catch myself almost as a defense mechanism,

14:55

being like, well, we weren't really that close.

14:57

Maybe I was like diluted. And then you go

14:59

by and you're like, oh my god, it's like every birthday.

15:02

It's all these brunches, all these and

15:04

I feel the same way.

15:05

But it's weird.

15:07

And I feel the same way about a

15:09

lot of people.

15:10

But here's what I think is interesting about comedy

15:12

friendships. It's like you don't actually

15:15

know each other a lot of times that well,

15:17

you just because you see each other at

15:20

shows and things or you go eat after.

15:22

But it's like the most nonc middle yeah

15:25

thing. I mean, we were different because we would

15:27

like actually intentionally meet up and stuff.

15:29

But it is a weird kind

15:31

of thing because you're in this like almost like

15:33

fraternity that I don't

15:35

know. I think I just thought about this a lot with

15:37

all these guys that have turned out to be predators,

15:40

where I'm like, hey, really don't hilarious,

15:42

No, no, you really just don't know

15:46

the weirdest first thing to

15:48

say, hilarious.

15:50

Here is something funny about it?

15:52

Is it hilarious or no?

15:54

I didn't mean it like that. I meant like, it's

15:57

not as zero some game. It's like there's

15:59

there's to it, Like, right, you didn't know

16:01

these people and then it turns out you didn't know these people.

16:03

Yeah, there's a lot to say about that. Neil

16:05

Brennan has a great thing about comedy friendships,

16:08

and he's like, it's like we're in a bar

16:11

fight. I don't feel this way about us. I'm just saying,

16:13

yeah, some of the colleague friendships,

16:16

Like when Louis came out and people were like, how did

16:18

you not know? It's like, we don't really know

16:21

like that way. It's like you don't know everything about the

16:23

people in your office, and you might

16:25

really like them and be around them, but you don't know everything.

16:28

But Neil's thing is, especially

16:30

at the beginning, when you're really hustling, it's

16:33

like you're in a bar fight. And I

16:35

thought this is great. He's like, sometimes you're both punching

16:37

in the same direction and it gives

16:39

the illusion that you're on the same team,

16:42

but really in a bar fight. Everybody's just kind of punching

16:44

everybody. It's just chaos and a lot

16:46

of those kind of foxhole friendships. Like

16:49

comedy is so vulnerable and scary.

16:51

So that's why Mullenie and I got very

16:54

close when we were both kind of starting

16:56

out, because it is like a you

16:58

need friends.

17:00

It's really weird, actually, how when

17:04

you start comedy and you're doing open mics,

17:06

it really is a group thing, I know, you

17:08

know, and then it just becomes really

17:11

individual.

17:12

There will be blood.

17:14

It's like once you have success, you actually

17:16

lose all the camaraderie or a lot

17:18

of it.

17:19

No, it starts as a group sport. Yeah,

17:21

it starts as the most social thing, which is one. I'm

17:24

actually introverted. I'm high energy,

17:26

and I have extroverted qualities, but I'm

17:28

an introvert. So I'm very fortunate

17:30

that I have a job that forces me into the world.

17:33

Is your wife an introvert?

17:34

No, she's an extrovert.

17:36

So does she go off and do tons of stuff while

17:38

you stay home? No?

17:40

It's a great question, I think, because the

17:42

smartest thing I know is that I'm wrong,

17:45

meaning I think I

17:47

want to be alone, and then

17:49

val will have a Christmas party and

17:52

the next day I'm just in the best. You

17:55

know, I haven't.

17:55

Imagined that the Christmas riding.

17:58

I knew you could have been laughing at what I would

18:00

say, bring us into what twisted

18:03

thing that made you think of whenever

18:05

You're the only person that when you laugh, I go, oh,

18:08

No.

18:09

Everyone else, I'm like, they're with me, They're understanding.

18:12

I was literally imagining you on your knees

18:14

in a circle of dudes, like blowing all of them.

18:19

But is that intrusive thoughts? Because I see

18:21

people talking about intrusive thoughts all the

18:23

time online and I'm like, I think I have those

18:25

all the time, Chelsea.

18:27

What's interesting about intrusive thoughts?

18:29

If you want to get into spirituality, which is.

18:31

What yes, I do. I actually that is the topic.

18:34

I don't know if it was jokingly, but you're like, come and talking

18:36

about spirituality. I

18:39

Maria Banford just did my podcast. I understand

18:41

there is a go ahead applause.

18:48

You hit the long one. Good.

18:51

We love you, Maria. Miss

18:54

Mitch miss i Mitch Mitch

18:56

Hedberg recipes. If

18:59

you guys listening, know what Missy Mitchell's

19:02

you're a long holder.

19:04

This is a big moment for you. This is a

19:06

really great it's an exciting episode for me. But you

19:08

know what, Missy Mitch is, you're alter your

19:11

podcast right. Yeah, I know. There's a diagnosable

19:13

disorder called intrusive thoughts syndrome. And I'm

19:15

not disvalidating that or whatever.

19:18

The word would be, invalidating, invalidating,

19:20

thank you.

19:23

I pushed that one. But

19:26

the funny thing about it, and what you're picking up

19:28

on is who

19:31

asks for their thoughts? This is a very,

19:34

i would say, nice entryway

19:36

into why I'm interested in spirituality because

19:38

you're going whose thoughts are these? Who's

19:41

asking for these thoughts? Where are they coming from?

19:43

Are they me and one of the

19:45

great And I'm taking let's take Maria in

19:47

that disorder out of it. But

19:50

to say I think, oh my

19:52

god, I

19:56

got more out with Whitney commings.

19:58

Whitney was interesting, did and

20:01

gave me a good listening face.

20:03

You're

20:06

not You're not. It's not what

20:08

you're saying though I'm

20:15

interested. Fine, I was interested,

20:17

like have you written a book or anything?

20:19

I have, but let me finish the book. Saying

20:22

I think thoughts is like saying

20:25

I beat my heart. You have nothing to do

20:27

with it.

20:28

Well, I think intrusive thoughts are more supposed

20:30

to be like anti social kind of I

20:33

get it.

20:33

Yeah, but what

20:35

what thought did? You will

20:37

up? You know what I mean? They're

20:40

just happening. Thinking is just happening.

20:43

Does that make sense? Well, I think if

20:46

you're driving in the car and you go, you

20:48

can follow a train of thought. You can kind

20:50

of guide it like water, but the water's

20:52

just coming.

20:53

Yeah.

20:54

I don't breathe my lungs and

20:56

I don't think my thoughts. Thinking happens

20:59

and compulse of thinking. This

21:01

is that gartole is such a prevalent

21:03

disorder. Well, you're gonna

21:05

love this. Then it's

21:08

such a prevalent disorder that we don't even know

21:10

that it's a disorder. But spirituality overthinking,

21:13

compulsive thinking. And

21:16

we know this because you meditate. I'm

21:18

not a big meditator. No, I

21:21

do. I get more out of breath work. I'm more

21:23

of a breathwork in the morning.

21:26

What kind of what is breath work? Like?

21:28

You are a mess?

21:30

Here's what I need, Here's what I need? I

21:34

do I do? I was literally

21:36

seeking your spiritual guidance.

21:38

That's such a tricky what a tricky

21:40

pickle? I was come

21:42

give me spiritual guidance, and I'm like a

21:45

landmine laden field.

21:47

Listen, what did I say? I said, bring some quotes?

21:49

I didn't bring in you didn't, Well, I just gave

21:51

you one. Compulsive thinking is such a prevalent disorder.

21:54

People don't even know it exists.

21:56

Because he was thinking to even say

21:58

that and put that to paper.

21:59

What is silly retort?

22:01

It is true. Anyone, any

22:03

book is compulsive thinking, right, like arguably

22:07

writing a book. It's like you're compulsively

22:09

putting down word after word after word

22:12

in a relentless barrage of

22:14

thinking.

22:15

I hear you,

22:17

you have to use thinking. But the

22:19

idea is the mind is a wonderful

22:22

servant, but a terrible master. So

22:24

going to your mind when you need you.

22:25

Don't believe in the servant mastered dichotomy?

22:28

What does that mean? This is going to work?

22:32

I don't even know what button I pushed.

22:33

Quick laugh, This isn't some

22:36

wind chies.

22:38

I'm going to surrender the idea that this is not

22:40

going to work.

22:41

Why don't throw on the towel.

22:43

No, here's what I need, Here's

22:45

what I need. Go ahead,

22:48

No, I truly actually have been feeling

22:51

afloat, And

22:54

it's interesting that you came in and said that

22:57

you feel kind of wrecked a

22:59

coast tall and you said, everyone you know feels

23:01

that way.

23:02

I'm running into a lot of it. But that's I don't know a

23:04

lot of people, my producer,

23:06

my guest, justin Val, my wife,

23:09

some of my friends. I was like, this is a rough

23:11

time, and they agreed, Yeah, but that's not that's

23:13

not conclusive data.

23:16

Yeah, but I wonder. I wonder, like sometimes

23:18

I think, what if this is the best life is ever

23:20

going to be and it's just going to kind of keep getting

23:22

worse, you know, like we had this global

23:25

pandemic and then we had the strikes.

23:29

Stop I'm

23:32

taking it's so hot. It's

23:34

so hot, I'm just sweating, Okay,

23:37

So you know, like what if it just

23:39

continues to crumble and these

23:41

kinds of things like do you

23:44

feel what's that from? Yeah?

23:48

But which you brought none? I

23:50

have so many quotes in my noodle you have,

23:53

like You're like, that's that's how confident

23:55

you are. You're like, I don't need them written down.

23:57

If I do anyone's podcast and they

23:59

talk about spirituality, I'll probably.

24:01

Quote five to ten people

24:03

at least people.

24:04

Wow, I mean multiple.

24:06

Times, what female leaders spiritual

24:09

thought leaders? Do you like?

24:11

Pima?

24:12

Huh, Pima?

24:14

I don't. I'm not drawn. I'm

24:17

just not, I guess

24:19

attracted to the Buddhist tradition

24:21

as much.

24:22

As you might think as what are you attracted

24:24

to?

24:25

Well, I love non dualism, which

24:28

is the idea that the universe is one. The old joke

24:30

that Dhali a lama goes into the pizza place, make me one

24:32

with everything, that kind of idea, the

24:35

hippie cliche, I became one with the universe.

24:38

Any of this ringing a bell?

24:41

Yeah, I mean I hear the words you're saying, but

24:44

I guess, like, I'm not sure what it means to

24:46

be one with the universe. Yeah, be in

24:48

harmony.

24:49

I don't think so. I think it's recognizing that

24:51

the fundamental nature of what you are is

24:54

the fundamental nature of the universe.

24:56

Meaning Alan wats say quotes just

24:59

come up. You didn't come into this world,

25:01

Chelsea, wasn't born into the world. You

25:03

came out of the world. You

25:06

are a product as natural

25:08

as an apple on a tree. You came out of it. You

25:10

didn't like You're not a visitor here, You're

25:13

what's happening? You are? Like

25:16

Another thing that I like to say is you

25:18

don't have a life. You are life?

25:21

When this is rupert spira. When I

25:23

say I am or if you

25:25

say you could do it right now, it's take two seconds.

25:28

Ask yourself? Am I aware? So ask

25:30

yourself? Am I aware? And look for the

25:32

feeling of awareness if you want,

25:35

I'll do it. Am I aware? And

25:37

you find a feeling of

25:41

being and you go, what

25:43

is the nature of that?

25:45

That awareness that you are

25:48

that's been there when you were two, when you were

25:50

twenty two, thirty two, forty, it'll

25:52

be there when you're eighty two. What doesn't

25:54

change? And it's that naked,

25:57

luminous awareness. And that's

25:59

fun. Is a thought experiment. Human beings

26:01

in our lives, we crave connection. Sex

26:04

is a great example sexuality. Is this why

26:07

a lot of times people after sex

26:09

immediately go to their phone?

26:10

Are you Polly?

26:11

No? They go to their phone. Oh, I'm

26:16

going to finish this point before I tell you why I'm not polyamorous?

26:19

Is it really is that the new twenty twenty

26:21

fourth thing? You have to explain why you're not. I'd

26:26

love to tell you why I'm not polyamorous. But have

26:29

you noticed I have if

26:31

you have really intimate sex, like

26:34

what we would call love making, not just you

26:36

know, banging it out, but

26:38

you merge, right, you've had this experience.

26:41

I've had this experience. Merging means vanishing.

26:44

Rupert would say, a romantic relationship

26:46

isn't a relationship. It can also become

26:48

the dissolving of relationship. That's what now

26:50

mistay means. It's like what I essentially am

26:53

is what you essentially are, and the boundaries

26:55

are removed between us. So have you noticed

26:57

that after really boundary breaking,

26:59

dissolve.

27:01

Unifying, pounding it out, you

27:03

can.

27:03

Also pound it out, but it can also be love making

27:05

that thing where you vanish like

27:08

Chelsea, isn't there the idea of Chelsea meaning

27:10

dragging your past, your story,

27:13

your problems, your concerns. It all goes away because

27:15

you're finally doing something that really

27:17

takes your attention and you go away. So

27:20

often after it's done, people

27:23

are very quick to go to their

27:25

phones or fight or

27:27

talk or watch TV because

27:29

it's so vulnerable. Once

27:32

you vanish, it's you

27:34

feel very exposed. So

27:36

when you say you know.

27:37

What I like to do? After sex, I

27:40

usually have a whole cake on my bed

27:43

bedside, a nightstand and

27:45

a mirror, and I

27:50

will get a fork, look in the mirror

27:52

at myself and I'll be like,

27:55

are you here? I'm like yes,

27:57

I'm like are you present? I'm like yeah,

28:00

Like are you hungry? And

28:03

I'm like, you know it? You

28:05

got a girl? And I go, are you going to

28:07

eat that whole cake? And

28:09

I listened to the answer, and the answer in the in

28:12

the universe is yes. Then I eat the

28:14

whole cake. Staring in the mirror like that, and over

28:16

my shoulder, I see the person that I

28:18

just finished making love to, laid

28:21

out, passed out, completely passed out?

28:23

Are you, Polly? What

28:26

we got? What we got?

28:28

It just doesn't feel appropriate to

28:30

play sound effects during this type of li I want

28:33

it.

28:33

I really, I know I just talked quite

28:35

a bit, but I really do want to do your podcast,

28:37

so but it's hard to I love talking

28:40

about this stuff.

28:41

Yeah, why aren't you Polly hilarious?

28:47

The quick answer would be, because sex

28:50

isn't that important to me. I

28:52

don't it's not I

28:54

don't idolize sex. I would

28:57

never want to balance a checkbook of

28:59

multiple religelationships sounds

29:01

like a nightmare to me. It's like having nine

29:03

plants or something like, did I water this

29:05

one? Is this one mad at me? Does

29:07

this one? Wish would end it with those other plants?

29:10

And also, like I

29:12

used to say, I don't really feel this way anymore, but I'm

29:14

like, I'm

29:17

like intellectually Polly with

29:19

val meaning we're not Polly.

29:22

But my attitude towards her to

29:24

kind of take what I like the most from that movement

29:27

is I just want what's good for her. I just

29:30

want her to be happy and good. So

29:32

that could extend to something like that,

29:34

like I don't think it would, but it's

29:36

more like I like what I get out of being

29:39

on her side more than

29:41

I'm on the side of matrimony

29:44

or commitment or even meaning my

29:46

vows when we got married, was I

29:48

vowed to love you irrationally? You

29:51

know what I mean? I don't. It's bullshit to

29:53

love somebody when they're good

29:55

and being nice to or you know what, Valley

29:58

is good and nice to me, but like we're

30:00

seeking irrational

30:02

love, Like somebody who can judge you and

30:06

love you when you're performing

30:08

to their standards is well,

30:11

it's well, vodka. You want that top shelf,

30:13

you want that unconditional love, and

30:15

that's what I like about Polly. But I'm just

30:17

not that interested in it, Like another ass

30:19

like that just doesn't get me so excited

30:22

that I'd be like, Okay, I'll tell my daughter I'm at a

30:24

poker game, like fuck off. Like I'm

30:26

kind of square in the regard.

30:27

If that's now, I'd like to move on into

30:29

a new area with you here, Please would

30:32

your snacking on these days?

30:35

No?

30:35

I think you've had always an interesting relationship

30:38

to food, right you? Like I think

30:40

last I was hanging out with you, you

30:42

were on some kind of like I think juicing,

30:46

like very hardcore juicing lifestyle.

30:49

See that is I'm not bringing back to spirituality,

30:51

but I would say that's a misappropriated instinct,

30:54

meaning like there needs to be like a cleansing.

30:56

If I was running clean, I would be okay,

31:00

and last spiritual thing. Once

31:02

you start kind of getting in touch with that awareness,

31:05

you realize there's no need for guilt or shame

31:07

or fear or anything.

31:08

So do you eat like ding dongs and ho hos?

31:11

No?

31:11

I am if

31:13

there is an addiction that I still struggle

31:15

with the most. I would say, it's it's still food,

31:19

meaning I can't have oreos in the

31:21

house. I don't understand people who have oreos

31:24

in their house. How are those like?

31:27

I really think like you love oreos, I'll

31:30

mow down oreos like

31:32

the body they put in Fargo.

31:33

Like I'll see now, I wish I had oreos here. I'd

31:35

like to see that.

31:37

It's well, I

31:39

wouldn't need them.

31:40

You wouldn't need one.

31:41

I wouldn't need one because

31:43

it would put It's like giving a shark blood

31:45

or something. It would ruin the rest of my day.

31:48

This is a good ad for oreos.

31:50

Well, it's not just oreos. Sorry, Nibisco,

31:53

I couldn't tell you.

31:54

I can pretend

31:56

I'm Sorrysco the

31:58

same. I don't

32:01

like cookies.

32:03

I love cookies really and chips away is

32:05

a salty cookie, which is what I fucking love?

32:07

Is it? Oh? Yeah, you gotta

32:09

look for it, but it's there.

32:10

I don't like the texture if I can remember

32:13

it.

32:13

No, it's terrible. Yeah, it's like the most chemically

32:16

nonsense in the world. Here's

32:18

you know what I love to snack on? A hot

32:21

take that I'll hit back to you. I

32:25

like eating peanut butter, a jar of peanut

32:27

butter. I won't eat the whole jar more than

32:29

I like eating ice cream.

32:30

When I did Dax Shepherd's podcast,

32:33

he had packets of peanut butter and

32:35

he was sucking it down like coca

32:37

cola before the podcast, sucking

32:39

those down. And then I think drinking cold brew

32:42

and sucking down peanut butter, Well.

32:43

That makes sense. Your brain runs on fat, you know.

32:46

There's a reason why they say it runs on glucose

32:48

as well. But I mean, like, I think fat helps.

32:51

So I ate a peanut butter little

32:54

protein bar before this, so putting

32:56

the spiritual stuff aside, that's probably also why I feel

32:58

better. But it's a problem

33:01

if I have like good Santa

33:03

Cruz dark roasted creamy peanut

33:05

butter, the no ster kind, I'm

33:07

not stirring.

33:08

I hate stirring. I didn't know there is a good

33:10

kind that's no star organic.

33:13

The no ster ones, excuse

33:15

me. It feels like something you would make fun

33:17

of because they just really had like a very genuine,

33:20

like involuntary like like and

33:22

I didn't get it in time. Like

33:32

the ones that you don't have to say they just have oil in

33:34

them. They add oil, so if

33:36

you want one hundred percent peanuts, so.

33:38

You're just eating spoons of it straight.

33:40

I love it, and my daughter does it too interesting,

33:42

But it's incredibly high calorie. It's

33:45

like drinking milkshake or something without the sugar.

33:47

But it's that's That's what I'd

33:49

be snacking on. Also, pistachios.

33:52

I love them roasted with salt, and

33:54

I love like.

33:55

The fire roasted ones. They have different ones

33:57

that are like salt and vinegar. Those

34:00

are if that's getting into addiction town,

34:03

you know, I know I'm addicted because

34:05

when I'm eating them, I ask myself,

34:07

this is my little test. I go, how

34:10

many of these would be enough? And I say

34:12

never, Oh my god, And

34:14

I'm not even enjoying them anymore.

34:16

That's it because I'm just like you

34:19

like asking yourself questions.

34:21

Yeah, that's good.

34:23

Do you ever in the morning, like when

34:26

your eyes open and go, Pete, are you awake?

34:29

Hilarious? You know what I think? Most mornings,

34:31

I go, this is so weird

34:34

to be It's so weird.

34:37

It's the most crazy thing

34:39

that we all just wake up. And you're like, of course

34:41

I am.

34:42

I think it's crazy that.

34:43

We have to sleep sleep is insane.

34:46

One time I met this agent

34:49

two models, like to a

34:51

supermodel agent, and she said that she

34:54

wished that she could just take a

34:57

pill instead of eating a meal. Wo

35:00

can you imagine? Isn't that like violent? Almost?

35:03

Valian, I have figured out very quickly that

35:05

some like people that aren't eaters, just

35:08

like will never be one hundred

35:11

percent super close.

35:12

Yeah, it's weird, right, It's like the whole breaking

35:14

bread thing, you know, it's it really is real,

35:17

Like I don't know that I have friends

35:19

who don't like food.

35:21

And having people over and cooking for them is just

35:23

so intimate and loving, and it's

35:26

it's actually kind of strange that we do

35:28

it so often with strangers because you know,

35:30

when you're cooking, so much of it is your bare hands

35:32

and nice gloves. But

35:37

I think where you were going with that is like I know people

35:40

that maybe would like to do away with sleep.

35:43

Yeah, I can't help but spiritualize

35:46

everything. The reason we love deep sleep, meaning

35:48

dreamless sleep, is because that is

35:51

your naked awareness.

35:52

I do love dreams.

35:54

Well, that that's an experience your then awareness

35:57

is still having a free movie.

35:59

But yeah, I agree, but

36:02

the free bow is afraid in my case, I.

36:08

Fucking loved it.

36:09

Yeah, it was great.

36:10

I think that. Yeah, I can't help it spiritualize

36:12

everything. It helped me laugh.

36:14

Bow is Afraid is like my resting mental

36:16

state. And also

36:20

the Adam Sandler one. Yeah,

36:23

those are those both. I'm like, yeah, day

36:25

in the life of my brain, that's

36:28

what my brain feels like. You Now, what's interesting

36:31

is that you feel very like I.

36:33

You know, I was thinking, I'm like, I want to make Pete

36:35

laugh because I think you feel your

36:39

energy. I'm like, I think you feel like

36:42

very philosophical. Now you

36:44

didn't used to be. This philosophical sort.

36:46

Of happened closer.

36:50

Yeah, towards towards the

36:52

end of my comedy brunch phase. And

36:55

honestly, that was I wouldn't say it's part

36:57

of it. It wasn't like, oh, I'm not having enough spiritual

36:59

conversations. But once you get very interested

37:01

in that stuff. The only friends

37:03

that I have, and

37:05

I don't mean I'm not putting up fences, It just

37:08

happens this way are

37:10

interested in the nature of consciousness

37:12

and interested in encouraging We

37:15

might even are you. No,

37:17

they might have different traditions. Yeah, that's

37:20

exactly my point. But these

37:22

people tend to have a different

37:24

frequency.

37:25

Do you ever do laughing yoga? No?

37:29

I laughed.

37:30

Should we goat yoga? Ever

37:32

done it? But do you do yoga every

37:34

day?

37:35

Yoga just means union here we

37:37

think it means extent. You're

37:40

right to this from a

37:43

real brown guy. But yoga,

37:46

the stretches. The

37:49

stretches were to help people

37:51

turn their brains off. We've turned it into kind

37:53

of like a beach body thing.

37:56

But I think people do it to relax.

37:58

Yeah, for sure, for sure, I'm not even putting it.

38:00

But what is head yoga? That's what I still don't know.

38:02

So, I mean it's it's contemplation, it's reading.

38:04

It would be like study, it would be like words

38:07

teachers. Yeah, that's what helps

38:10

me.

38:10

You're like, you're a scholar energy,

38:12

you have the energy of a scholar.

38:14

I hate when this happens. Why only

38:16

I've had this happen before where people

38:19

ask me about spiritual things, and I think they

38:21

also have the same sort of like what is this?

38:23

Well, I am a spiritual going on? I

38:25

am spiritual, to be clear, and

38:28

I you know, oh

38:31

yeah, but anyway, but like I am spirit

38:35

I mean that I have a higher power, and

38:38

that I don't

38:40

think I'm in charge. You know, I

38:43

wasn't raised with religion, and

38:46

so I think

38:48

that sometimes the risk of that is that you

38:51

think you're in charge of everything,

38:54

and if you have no nothing

38:56

you believe in, then it's it's

38:59

tricky because it can become yourself

39:02

is the center of the world, you know. So

39:08

my feeling about anything spirituality

39:12

like movies, like you know, I

39:15

can't. I actually

39:17

can't. There's almost nothing I can tolerate

39:19

that has no humor to it, Like

39:22

I need my spirituality to have humor to it,

39:24

and it does, thank fucking God, because

39:26

I can't if

39:29

I feel like I'm trying, Like you know, like when

39:31

when I was a kid and we would go to like you

39:33

know, I was I'm

39:36

Jewish and my dad isn't

39:38

Jewish, my mom is Jewish. And

39:41

when there would be like you know, a random

39:43

satyr or something that we would go to, I would be like,

39:47

you know, it's so serious the energy

39:49

and there it's cool. I think kids like that

39:52

energy of like something spiritual and

39:54

ancient is happening. But on the

39:56

other hand, it was so serious and I was like,

39:59

ah, it made me one to like act up you

40:01

know, and so I just

40:03

am not like, even

40:07

though I am like dark,

40:11

I'm just not serious, I guess.

40:15

And anyway,

40:17

when I was asking you to give me spiritual advice,

40:20

I think I thought, well, first of all, it's

40:22

actually like not that accessible because I don't

40:24

know anyone you're talking about.

40:25

I am interested in what spiritual advice

40:28

could be other than pointing

40:30

you to your true nature.

40:33

I mean, my.

40:33

Spiritual advice for the listener take

40:37

baths. It's

40:40

very relaxing.

40:42

Well that's that's embodying. It

40:44

gets you into your body, calms you down,

40:46

but that does feel more physiological. I'm

40:54

just like, here's something I

40:56

do want to say. The ego will always choose

40:58

the journey over the destination. And

41:00

I think what I'm talking about is the destination.

41:02

And there's always going to be like a resistance.

41:05

If a teacher is going like, come

41:07

back to yourself, recognize

41:09

the true nature of your experience. We

41:13

hate that we go I'd rather

41:15

you tell me breathe out of this nostril

41:17

than breathe in this nostril, or close

41:19

your eyes, or this crystal has

41:21

really helped me, or this book has really helped

41:23

me. But trying to say well.

41:25

I think that the those types

41:27

of things, the breathing whatever, it's like if

41:29

you think of an iceberg, it's like the tip of

41:32

the iceberg is the breathing, and then the

41:34

depth of meaning behind that or

41:37

what it might what place

41:39

it might take you to mentally

41:41

or spiritually might be, what's below

41:44

the water, I suppose. But what

41:47

I'm that's trying to talk of philosophy.

41:49

People, I liked it. I liked

41:51

it. I understood you funny

41:54

right, but like getting

41:58

it doesn't matter. Oh, come on, when

42:00

I asked you to ask yourself if you were aware? That

42:02

is all spiritual practice,

42:06

all of it, even if I told you to do breathing,

42:08

even if I told you to become a Buddhist or

42:10

a Hindu, or a Taoist or a Sikh, all

42:13

of it is trying to reintroduce

42:16

to you your

42:19

essence, yourself, your uppercase,

42:22

s self. And that isn't

42:24

a huge iceberg under the ocean. It

42:27

isn't mysterious, it isn't philosophical.

42:31

What is it that knows your experience?

42:34

That's the questions when they

42:36

say, you know, when it says at Delphi, who

42:39

am I like the greatest question? That

42:41

you can ask who am I? It doesn't mean

42:44

I'm Chelsea. I like

42:46

this. I don't like that. It

42:48

means what is it that's

42:50

aware of the phenomenon called Chelsea? Play

42:53

it? What is it.

42:56

You should have put your foot off about?

43:00

I think if I sat in a room and go, am

43:02

I aware? I don't know what that

43:04

means?

43:05

Are you aware of being? Right now?

43:07

I mean no, I don't know.

43:10

I don't like you.

43:12

I think I exist, So you're aware

43:14

of your existence? That's all I mean.

43:17

Okay, but I do think like that. Exercise

43:20

just doesn't mean

43:22

the same thing to me that it means to you.

43:25

But we didn't even do it. I just asked you if you were

43:27

aware. It

43:30

doesn't matter, Chelsea. I'm glad. I'm

43:32

glad that you're doing well.

43:34

I did say I'm doing well.

43:36

I thought you did, did I you

43:39

seem like you're doing well.

43:42

Thank you. Let's

43:45

take one call.

43:48

Brandis hello?

43:50

Brandis Now?

43:52

See a lot of times their names aren't the name that shows

43:54

up for some reason. Oh but anyway, can

43:57

you hear us?

43:59

I can hear you?

44:00

Is your name? Brandis my

44:04

name?

44:04

Brand?

44:04

Oh? It really is? Brandis right?

44:10

I've actually visited because

44:13

Yeah.

44:13

That's satisfying. You're

44:17

you're here on the podcast

44:19

with Pete Homes.

44:23

Don't don't pause for a reaction.

44:25

I'm holding for a clause. Brandis,

44:30

I'm apploting.

44:32

Thank you.

44:34

So anyhow do you what

44:37

are you doing? What do you what do you want to ask

44:39

me? And Pete? Any advice you need? Are

44:42

you what's your spirituality?

44:47

Well, i'm calling right

44:49

now. I'm actually working on some what

44:53

do you call it? Homework for

44:57

my my business class that I'm taking right

44:59

now.

45:00

What kind of business are you going to do?

45:03

I don't know what I'll do, but the

45:06

project is on. I'm comparing

45:08

capitalism and socialism, so that's pretty

45:11

What is the difference? I

45:15

was actually hoping you could tell me. Yeah,

45:19

I'm doing comparing Brazil and

45:21

Portugal right now.

45:22

That's cool. It

45:25

is good luck with that, all

45:27

right.

45:28

I'm freaking out that I made

45:30

it through Brande.

45:34

Chelsea's just drawing hearts on her notebook.

45:37

This is this is part of my spiritual

45:40

practice, drawing hearts.

45:43

I've heard tell of the heart.

45:44

Oh, it's a real thing.

45:46

Have you ever did you ever use

45:48

to listen to Pete's podcast back in the day,

45:51

I very much did.

45:55

Well.

45:56

I was talking about when me and Pete would do it together.

45:59

You're just like, obviously you've dropped

46:01

off.

46:04

I mean, I've kind of dropped off in most

46:06

podcasts at this point.

46:08

But I'm hard at work.

46:10

Yeah, is it just

46:12

oversaturated ainely

46:18

good time for me to reboot my podcast?

46:21

Yeah, the perfect moment.

46:23

I just restarted it. And it's literally like

46:26

the time of the downfall of the podcast

46:28

I think it started.

46:30

Yeah, they.

46:33

I'm going to single handedly revitalize

46:36

the podcast. Here was my whole pandemic.

46:39

Like basically, you'll be like, hey, do you want to hang out?

46:41

And everyone's like, I'm recarding a podcast. Like everyone

46:43

I knew was just always recording a podcast

46:45

at all times, and

46:47

I was like, this is so weird. And then

46:50

anyways, so then all those people did podcasts

46:53

for the last three four years and

46:55

now it's all like kind of a little bit dying

46:58

off, I think. And then that's when I decided

47:00

to reintroduce myself.

47:03

But so you stopped listening to podcasts.

47:06

What do you do for fun now? Brandish

47:09

not a ton.

47:12

Let's see. I like to go to a restaurant.

47:15

Actually, food tests is

47:17

a big part of my Oh, I have a good food

47:19

test for you.

47:21

You ready.

47:23

This is a moment.

47:25

This is controversial, Pete.

47:28

I'm curious. Actually I meant to ask you your

47:30

taste on this as well. Okay,

47:34

I'm going to say the food. I'm going

47:37

to play a gem role, and then you say

47:39

if the food is good or bad? Are you ready?

47:42

I'm ready.

47:44

Lemon bars.

47:51

I didn't even have to think about that.

47:56

Bad bad?

47:58

Wow.

48:00

Wow, we're all in agreement.

48:02

Yea horrible.

48:04

We're all in agreement.

48:06

Every time I get a lemon bar on

48:10

lemon well, lemon

48:12

meringue pie is delicious, exactly

48:16

lemon bars.

48:18

It's a texture, It's exactly what it

48:20

is. So like, I love tart,

48:22

I love lemon, but lemon

48:25

bars, you

48:27

know how I don't about them. You know

48:29

I don't like soup. It's like lemon bars

48:31

have a similar eating experiences

48:33

soup. Do you love soup?

48:35

Pea, No, But if I had to guess, I

48:39

would think you were a big soup person.

48:45

Oh my god, I

48:57

could see you and serious, I

49:00

hate it.

49:02

I think it's just the texture of eating

49:04

soup is very boring. That said,

49:06

I do like a few soups. Gospat

49:08

show The Koreans,

49:12

listen. No

49:14

guspacho is delicious when done right,

49:16

it shouldn't be creamy, in my opinion, very

49:19

refreshing. You would love

49:21

it as a juicer, as a past

49:24

juicer a PJ.

49:29

Yeah, so so that soup is good.

49:31

I do like the Korean bone broth soup.

49:34

You know, the beef in it and the little you

49:36

put rice in it and salt and kimchi

49:39

and that's really good. But anyway, yeah,

49:41

lemon bars. I feel like John Early and

49:45

my brother and some people have tried to

49:47

convince me that lemon bars are amazing

49:51

and I just.

49:53

But mine's not because of the texture. I think they're too

49:55

tart. It's not sweet enough. It's just gross.

49:58

Yeah, I find

50:00

them very grainy.

50:03

You're wrong, just kidding if

50:05

I We're like

50:07

all on the same page, and then I'm like, no brandis

50:12

anyway. I do like the flavor, but it's kind of like lemon

50:14

curd, Like people like, give you a

50:16

jar of lemon curd. It's like, where do you go from here?

50:20

You know a sandwich

50:22

where they put lemon flave.

50:28

I want to tell you about my breakfast sandwich experience.

50:31

Okay, fine, go ahead.

50:36

Lemon curd on on the English

50:39

muscind that it came on and it was I

50:42

have to say it wasn't as sad as I thought it would

50:44

be. But it's not something that I would

50:46

see myself getting.

50:48

What are you talking about? Breakfast

50:51

sandwiches?

50:52

Sandwich had lemon curd on

50:54

it, but so what else was in it? Like

50:59

a baked egg, really soft eggs,

51:01

bacon, and I think they had

51:04

some kind of cheese and lemon

51:06

curd.

51:07

Yeah that sounds insane. I do

51:10

like a salty sweet, but I would need

51:12

like jam, strawberry jams,

51:14

sharp cheddar, bacon, eggs.

51:18

I would eat that, would you? No?

51:21

Pete says no. Pete says

51:23

no.

51:24

No, Well he doesn't like lemon bars?

51:26

So what do you

51:28

eat for breakfast? Pete?

51:31

Today? I had? I usually eat eggs,

51:34

just eggs, what.

51:35

Type of eggs, scrambled eggs,

51:37

no cheese.

51:38

No cheese, nothing else really

51:40

just scrambled eggs. The salt had

51:43

it, well, yeah, salt salting all well,

51:46

but I made

51:48

my daughter and I kind of like a

51:51

ty curry lentil with

51:54

coconut milk this morning for breakfast

51:56

with cauliflowers breaks.

51:58

I'm thinking about making lentils.

52:00

There was nothing in the house brandis there was nothing

52:02

in the house, and like I

52:04

don't take a breakfast. It's great. Honestly,

52:07

if I was listening, I would love this tip. Get red

52:09

lentils because they cook really fast. Cook them

52:11

in veggie stock once all the liquids

52:14

evaporated. Add some light coconut

52:16

milk just to taste, and peanut

52:18

butter and stir it up and salt or

52:21

like Amno's. It's fucking dope and it's

52:23

so easy to make.

52:24

I'm literally just bought red lentils

52:27

to make tonight. But I'm

52:30

gonna do it in chicken broth. Do not

52:32

eat meat.

52:33

I do eat a little meat now, yes, but chicken

52:35

broth is a great idea.

52:36

And then I'm gonna put some spinach

52:39

yeap in it and

52:41

some other things. It's kind of a rue.

52:44

I think.

52:44

I like any excuse to eat like

52:47

a coconut peanut taste and then put

52:49

hot sauce on it. It's incredible.

52:50

You know what I like?

52:51

You know what I like? You know what I like?

52:54

Peat? Here's

53:00

what I like. Dan

53:03

Dan noodles. Yeah, there you go, sesame

53:06

noodles.

53:07

Yeah, there you go.

53:11

A pesto.

53:15

What about because you add on

53:17

to that beef soup you were talking about. That's

53:19

that's real nice.

53:21

That beef soup actually has a thin

53:23

white noodle in it. Do

53:28

you do you go to marugame

53:31

whatever it is? That's

53:34

like an l A spot Brandon.

53:40

I hung up on her accidentally.

53:45

Hello, Oh

53:48

my.

53:48

God, Vicky is

53:50

this Vicky? I just

53:53

oh

53:55

sorry, sorry, Mom, Sorry

53:57

Mom, I just hung up on brand It's

54:00

on accident. The last caller.

54:02

I was like, sort of like, I don't know what I was

54:04

thinking, but I was like Brandez,

54:06

and as I said it, she

54:10

was so sweet and so excit

54:13

couldn't have been nicer, couldn't have been nicer. But

54:15

I accidentally fully

54:17

hung up. We're here with Pete Holmes.

54:19

What do you think about lemon bars?

54:22

I do love lemon bars. I

54:24

had some from Trader Josten

54:26

to your podcast and I got some nice.

54:30

You wait, wait, wait, wait, what's the tie

54:32

between the podcast and treader Joe's.

54:34

Because you were talking about lemon the other day? You

54:36

were you had like a whole podcast about lemon.

54:39

You're right, I do love lemon. However,

54:42

unfortunately I don't like lemon

54:44

bars.

54:46

Oh my God, what about chicken pacata

54:48

with lemon?

54:49

Sure?

54:51

I made some.

54:51

It was really good.

54:52

Did you have that? And then lemon bars for dessert?

54:55

And a little glass of lemonade?

54:58

Not lemonade? No, we had wine. Can

55:01

I ask you something?

55:03

Please do God, for the love of God. It

55:05

would be the first question anyone's asked me in

55:07

this conversation besides

55:10

do you exist? Okay?

55:14

Are you aware?

55:15

All right?

55:16

So what's the question, sir?

55:19

I listen. I'm a huge fan of your podcast. I listen to it

55:21

all the time. You will never forget you

55:23

had a segment where it was like pizza

55:25

or mac and cheese, and you chose mac and cheese

55:28

for every time. Do you still feel the same way?

55:33

Collar largely?

55:37

Yeah. I

55:40

mean, here's here's my logic.

55:43

You'd rather be spooning pizza.

55:46

You don't spoon mac and cheese.

55:48

You fork it, yes, spooningo,

55:57

shoveling shoable.

56:00

You're out there picking it off like a

56:02

sniper.

56:03

I'm taking out a fork full and

56:05

jam and fork fulls down my bullet.

56:07

That's some salad chip. You spoon mac

56:10

and cheese.

56:10

Listen, I here's the deal. Pizza.

56:14

I just don't think it's as

56:16

exciting as everyone thinks it is.

56:20

Yeah, like New York

56:22

slice, and then you go and it's just like, Okay, it's

56:25

tomato sauce, it's fucking dope. Some

56:27

cheese like cool, Yeah, New York size, it's

56:30

fine, but people like, no, the fucking slices

56:32

it this spot and then like I

56:35

don't know, like hunting for it and stuff,

56:37

and like at the end of the day, you

56:40

know, there's very few pizzas that have excited

56:43

me crazily. And one was at

56:45

a restaurant that doesn't exist anymore in New York

56:47

called Five Points, I believe, and they had

56:50

Yukon gold potatoes thinly

56:53

slice.

56:53

Cut to.

56:55

What's that?

56:56

Someone gets that reference The movie

56:58

Gangs of New York is about the five.

57:00

Ramped up and a piece won't

57:02

paint boon. That was my

57:04

Kings of New York empression with

57:09

it.

57:10

I'm with it.

57:13

But anyway, that pizza was good. It had thinly

57:15

slid potato and truffle and

57:18

no tomato sauce, and I thought it was amazing.

57:21

But you know, you don't like pizza, yeah, because

57:23

that was like more of a cracker.

57:24

No, it was like a white pizza. You know, but

57:27

but yeah, it's like not not a

57:29

margarito, that's for sure. I

57:32

did try Pizzaia say here in Los

57:34

Angeles. You ever had it?

57:35

S e I.

57:38

It was very good, So that

57:41

something like that does tip the thing. And here's

57:43

my other thing about mac and cheese. Collar are you still there?

57:47

I'm yet.

57:52

First first time

57:54

collar, zero time

57:57

listener? What okay?

58:04

So anyway, the point being, what is

58:06

the point. Oh yeah, mac and cheese inconsistent,

58:09

very inconsistent. A lot of different

58:12

things.

58:12

Wait a minute, called mac and cheese.

58:15

They have the time when you ordered

58:17

mac and cheese. This is this

58:20

is something I think about all the time.

58:23

We were at a restaurant. We're at the

58:25

Aspen Film Festival to do comedy

58:27

though, remember so it wasn't

58:30

that cool?

58:31

Yes, no, I actually literally just found

58:33

that in an email. Really oh no,

58:35

no, never mind, that was Sundance. It was

58:37

Sundance, okay, because I was like I went to Sundance.

58:40

I literally forgot.

58:42

But we were outsiders because like

58:44

you think you got a Sundance.

58:45

You have a movie.

58:46

We were just like these weird comedian It was a web show.

58:48

It was bad. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exciting,

58:50

It wasn't elitist. It wasn't elite, and

58:53

you want to be like a puffy jacket, you

58:55

know. Fun guys.

58:56

Do you remember the gifting suite?

58:58

I do.

58:59

They were like, you can go in this gifting suite,

59:01

but you can't have any of the good stuff

59:03

like they were like, you can choose like the

59:06

lean chain or so dear.

59:08

Yeah, that was a really humbling experience.

59:10

But we went to get lunch and

59:13

Daniel Kellison, I remember, yeah there anyway.

59:16

And the food was from the John and Vinnies.

59:18

Guys, right, maybe this restaurant

59:21

was near the ski slopes and you got

59:23

mac and cheese and it

59:25

came out. I hope you're not embarrassed by this.

59:27

I think you'll stand by it.

59:29

I think I call her. Are you still

59:31

there?

59:32

Oh my god, God bless you.

59:34

You can chime in on this to collar you

59:38

got it and you said it's cold

59:40

on the top, like you touched it. And

59:42

then I said, I bet it's piping

59:44

hot underneath, as is the way with mac and

59:46

cheese. And I said, you edit this

59:48

out if you don't like it, I go just stir it up.

59:51

You said, this is a quote oh God,

59:54

I shouldn't have to, and you

59:56

sent it back. Well,

59:58

I still stand by that, love that you're

1:00:00

so scared, I'll be mortified. I

1:00:02

stand by that shouldn't be cold on top.

1:00:04

I made mac and cheese two nights

1:00:07

ago, and I put it in a bowl and by the time I got

1:00:09

it to the couch it was cold on top,

1:00:11

and I stirred it. Because I'm not associopath.

1:00:13

That is such a funny. I

1:00:18

have zero shame about that.

1:00:20

Well, I'm glad because I don't want to shame you, but I.

1:00:21

Do think that you think I should be.

1:00:24

I think that's insane.

1:00:26

Color. Let's let's have you weigh after

1:00:28

the drum roll. You weigh

1:00:30

in on this, ready, drum

1:00:33

roll?

1:00:52

Is it insane? Oh?

1:00:54

For the mac and cheese?

1:00:55

Yes?

1:00:57

Oh, now I think you I mean, no,

1:01:00

suring it it's probably right.

1:01:02

Yeah, but do you you think it

1:01:04

should be cold on top? When it comes to you rest

1:01:06

if it's cold.

1:01:06

On top and piping on the bottle, was it like

1:01:09

ice cold?

1:01:10

Yeah? It was not ice cold.

1:01:12

You said it was cold, and we're in an

1:01:14

icy climate.

1:01:15

Okay, I'll say, let's say it's on ice cold

1:01:17

on top, but.

1:01:19

House fucking dare you?

1:01:21

How dare you side.

1:01:24

Trying to?

1:01:26

I think once you listen to this whole episode,

1:01:28

you'll wish you sided with.

1:01:32

So this is dynamic.

1:01:35

You had Air mac and Cheese.

1:01:38

Yes, I certainly have. And what's weird

1:01:40

is it's inconsistent because, first

1:01:43

of all, the description says it's made with whole wheat

1:01:45

pasta. It does not seem like it is right

1:01:52

that.

1:01:52

At one in this podcast, I was like, I just don't really

1:01:55

like small talking. As soon as I stopped

1:01:57

talking, you were like, let's do the real show. What's

1:01:59

your consultines? Only when you're

1:02:01

sick or.

1:02:02

You're around like you do seem happier,

1:02:04

but you're not. You're miserable.

1:02:05

No, no, no, I'm I'm happier both

1:02:08

times. Really, I'm more juiced.

1:02:10

I would call this juiced.

1:02:12

Mmm, coller,

1:02:16

don't you think it seems like it it isn't

1:02:18

made with whole wheat foster, even though they say it is.

1:02:21

I don't know the difference, but I that's

1:02:23

that's my favorite Mac and cheese is the Air one. I don't really

1:02:26

like mac and cheese, but that.

1:02:27

One it's very creamy, It's very

1:02:29

creemy.

1:02:30

Very creamy. That's what I like about it because I remember

1:02:32

you said you like craft mac and cheese, and I just can't.

1:02:35

I can't. I can't do that.

1:02:36

I like a large swath. Pete's fully

1:02:38

just on his email now he's given up. It's to

1:02:40

be fair. We're in like an hour five and we

1:02:42

need to turn this right around because we haven't banked

1:02:45

any podcasts.

1:02:46

Can I ask one more thing?

1:02:49

Yes?

1:02:49

Go please? Yeah, Before

1:02:52

you were a successful comedian,

1:02:54

did you have a day job in what was

1:02:57

it or any type of day job or different

1:02:59

day jobs I did.

1:03:00

I wrote for a video game

1:03:03

for a while in New York with a

1:03:08

few comedians Curtis Gwynn, Victor Barnardo,

1:03:10

Roger Hale.

1:03:11

That for me is like a successful like writing

1:03:14

job. You know, I'm talking about

1:03:16

like I was a temp.

1:03:18

I was a temp.

1:03:20

Before.

1:03:21

I mean they sent you out places.

1:03:22

Yeah, like secretarial temp work.

1:03:26

I got it.

1:03:27

I had had a work in the customer service.

1:03:30

I did work at this little organization,

1:03:34

No I did. I you know, I used to live in Philly

1:03:36

briefly, and I was like a waitress

1:03:38

at a hotel

1:03:42

where no one tipped and I had to get up at

1:03:44

like six in the morning something like that.

1:03:47

That's you know, I worked at a hotel. I don't know. I'm

1:03:49

sorry if this is not interesting, but I did work at the hotel

1:03:51

for six years, and I worked at graveyard

1:03:53

shift, so I feel you on that.

1:03:55

Yeah, no one tips, because internationally not

1:03:57

everyone tips.

1:03:59

I know.

1:03:59

Yeah, no, I got not tis. One time someone gave

1:04:01

me a big Greg Goose bottle and that was that

1:04:04

was very good.

1:04:05

Yeah, So

1:04:10

any other questions before we say

1:04:14

goodbye, I

1:04:18

will just say this.

1:04:20

Can I say two quick things?

1:04:21

Yes?

1:04:21

Sorry?

1:04:22

No? Please? Do that's welcome.

1:04:24

Is it always going to be like this when you call in and you

1:04:27

have to keep calling like a radio kind

1:04:29

of contest.

1:04:30

Versus what you want to schedule something?

1:04:34

I remember? I feel like I remember last time I tried

1:04:36

to call in, it was like I got put on hold.

1:04:39

Interesting? What was your other question?

1:04:42

Just quickly? I know you

1:04:44

scrapped a lot of the episodes, but is one

1:04:46

of the best of it's going to be the Angie Martinez

1:04:49

episode where you played her?

1:04:51

Hmmm, I'm not sure you

1:04:53

know I met Do you know that I met her?

1:04:56

Thank you?

1:04:57

Yeah, I met Angie Martinez on

1:05:00

some kind of cooking show or something. I think

1:05:02

she was really nice. And then I was

1:05:04

like, it's weird when you do like an impression of someone

1:05:06

and then you meet them, or like you ever have

1:05:08

that where you do a joke about someone and then you meet them.

1:05:12

Yeah, but I feel like she would like it.

1:05:14

Yeah.

1:05:15

I think she was super nice. I don't know if she knew

1:05:17

about it or not, but if she did, she was.

1:05:20

Like, you know, if you didn't do it again, but if you just did like

1:05:23

a re release, I think that could be cool.

1:05:24

Okay, I'll think about that one.

1:05:26

Thank you, Okay, thank you so

1:05:28

much.

1:05:29

Oh. I was just gonna say I had a very when in

1:05:31

my first three years of stand up I had a joke

1:05:33

about Rachel Ray and how shiny

1:05:35

sunshiny she was and what would happen if

1:05:37

she cut herself. Years later, I realized

1:05:40

I'm ripping off Dan Aykroyd's Julia

1:05:42

Child sketch. I didn't realize

1:05:44

that at the time, obviously, but anyway,

1:05:46

it was very mild, but it was like, you know, she's

1:05:48

so sweet, what if she cut herself into basically like motherfucker?

1:05:51

It's like that. Yeah, And then she did

1:05:53

crashing my TV show and she was

1:05:55

just so nice, and we

1:05:58

ended up going over a place of eating

1:06:00

one of the best meals of our lives, became

1:06:03

friends with them. It was a linguini

1:06:06

with I remember I had breadcrumbs on it. That's

1:06:09

all I remember. Very simple but delicious,

1:06:12

and their house was beautiful. Anyway, when

1:06:15

after that dinner, I became very paranoid

1:06:18

that my new friend would see

1:06:20

this bit. It would have been fine,

1:06:22

but I did go like, I can't that she's

1:06:24

a person now why would she? And I was

1:06:26

sort of making fun of her for being like, I'm

1:06:29

like, she's a phony. I didn't say that, but isn't

1:06:31

that the joke? You're like, she's being so nice, but she's

1:06:33

probably tough as now.

1:06:35

Yes, no, I think like doing

1:06:38

stand up. When you're in your twenties and you live

1:06:40

in New York, it feels like absolutely nothing

1:06:42

is off limits because yeah, yeah, Hollywood

1:06:45

and actors, she'll never seemed like a million

1:06:47

miles away. Let me move here, and it just

1:06:49

does start to feel like I'm probably gonna spe

1:06:51

it.

1:06:52

Like I used to have a joke about how like

1:06:54

I did a joke about how a movie I saw sucked,

1:06:57

And this happened twice. Someone yelled

1:06:59

at you make a movie, right, And

1:07:03

I was like, that's how many people here make movies?

1:07:06

And then I wrote a joke about that.

1:07:07

They probably were like a gaffer on that

1:07:09

movie or something, And I was like, why

1:07:12

do I have to be able to know how to make a movie to

1:07:14

say I didn't like it?

1:07:15

It's not how the world?

1:07:16

Because you know, it's like I think, once you have

1:07:18

experienced how like brutal it

1:07:20

is true, make it. You're like, well, don't just be flipping

1:07:23

about it.

1:07:23

You fucking maybe watch it again.

1:07:26

Yeah, but it's true. You make fun of somebody

1:07:28

and then they're at.

1:07:29

The show, and then it's like you have a kid, and

1:07:31

like it's sort of like, oh my god, I'm making fun of

1:07:33

someone who's someone's kid.

1:07:34

Yeah that's true. Like I just feel like I had the

1:07:36

joke on my last special. I

1:07:39

had a joke about how I like being soft, like my body

1:07:41

is soft, and I'm kind of making fun of skinny

1:07:43

people, thinking that was kind of like

1:07:45

fair game, but just using them examples,

1:07:47

nothing is. And I just said Gwyneth Paltrow,

1:07:50

I was like, you hug me like you sink

1:07:52

into me like a mattress. There's no

1:07:54

healing with Gwyneth Paltrow, and

1:07:56

then somebody after the show was like, that's somebody's

1:07:58

kid, and I was like, all I'm

1:08:00

saying, she's skinny. Isn't that fair?

1:08:02

Yeah?

1:08:03

And I cut it. It's because of that.

1:08:04

Wow, you did cut it.

1:08:05

I did cut it.

1:08:06

Yeah.

1:08:07

See. But that's the thing I feel like, that's

1:08:10

that's where I'm now so confused, because

1:08:12

I'm just like, I don't know what I think is

1:08:14

fair game anymore, you know, And

1:08:16

like the younger generation, way younger, not

1:08:19

like the people who are poking holes

1:08:21

in every type of joke, but like much

1:08:24

younger, like teenagers. They're like

1:08:26

watching old roast jokes online

1:08:28

on TikTok and shit, and there's not even roasts

1:08:30

anymore because people don't like

1:08:33

people like. It's like not of this time.

1:08:36

You know, it's true, but it makes

1:08:38

me think the next generation is going to be very

1:08:41

different than what's going on now.

1:08:42

But all of that energy that's not being serviced

1:08:45

by the dark. When I say dark,

1:08:47

I don't mean bad. I just mean like, roasts are

1:08:49

a way to exercise darkness.

1:08:52

It's beautiful. It's like, let's just be

1:08:54

awful. Yeah, you know, I say

1:08:56

this a lot, But tribes in the Amazon

1:08:59

hundreds of year to go putting on masks that look like

1:09:01

a devil and they'd run around and then you know,

1:09:04

pe on you or punch you, do nuts that be

1:09:06

the devil for the night. We have a need

1:09:08

for that stuff. Yeah, Halloween exactly.

1:09:11

Performance are in the sixties where you go in

1:09:13

and someone just pooping in a bucket and screaming Hitler

1:09:16

like we Ggllen exactly.

1:09:18

Gg Allen is a great example. This generation

1:09:21

is saying no to those, but they will

1:09:23

find their way, and it'll probably be in

1:09:25

the metaverse, you know what I mean. Yeah,

1:09:27

private rooms in the metaverse where someone's

1:09:29

like burning you or whatever it is, they'll

1:09:33

find a way. There's no escaping your

1:09:35

shadow. Trust me. Take it from a formal

1:09:37

fundament a former fundamentalist Christian.

1:09:40

You can act like everything offends

1:09:42

you and you have no darkness. You

1:09:44

gotta find a way to let it out. It could be horror

1:09:47

movie. Look at that's what I think is so interesting,

1:09:49

this generation that's so offended, which I understand,

1:09:51

I'm not taking that away. Also,

1:09:53

look at how huge horror is the

1:09:56

biggest genre, and so

1:09:58

what's going on is it's just moving.

1:10:01

We used to be okay with it being

1:10:03

a comedian saying it. Now it needs to be

1:10:05

somebody playing pretending

1:10:07

to be someone who doesn't exist and a

1:10:09

demon who doesn't exist. We used

1:10:11

to say, like, we'll be the demons, same

1:10:14

shit. It's the same shit, and they'll find their own

1:10:16

way.

1:10:17

Coller, Yes, what's

1:10:20

your retort?

1:10:24

How do you refuse?

1:10:26

I do have one question that might tie into this. Oh

1:10:28

good, and I'm so sorry

1:10:30

if you've covered this, I don't know if you

1:10:32

have. Maybe you can answer that as well. Gypsy

1:10:35

Rose, do you have big thoughts on her? Are

1:10:37

you happy she's out? Are you following the Lord?

1:10:39

I'm not about her.

1:10:41

I'm not following the Lord tightly.

1:10:44

No, Like she was the girl that's mom made

1:10:46

her had all these illnesses and oh then

1:10:49

Pictusha Arcuat played her mom, right,

1:10:51

Yeah.

1:10:51

Yeah, I saw that.

1:10:52

And now, like TikTok in this generation

1:10:54

has she's like our new hero? Why where

1:10:57

they have to Beyonce song? Because she

1:10:59

was in prison falsely and I feel like she was finally

1:11:01

free.

1:11:02

And wait, why was she in prison? Forget

1:11:05

the mom or the daughter?

1:11:06

No, the mom, the daughter

1:11:08

was in prison because she was

1:11:11

like she had a boyfriend and she convinced

1:11:13

him to kill her mother, so both of them went

1:11:15

to prison.

1:11:15

Oh wow, I forgot that.

1:11:17

Yes, but but everyone's

1:11:20

like, she shouldn't have been in prison because

1:11:22

she was suffering her whole life. Right, she

1:11:24

was in a prison already, so why

1:11:26

right, help you know, but she

1:11:28

was in prison for ten years. She actually served

1:11:30

the whole thing. So now she's finally out.

1:11:32

I'm gonna tell you something.

1:11:34

Let's get tipsy for gypsy. Gypsy Roses,

1:11:36

free my mother. You know, like everyone's

1:11:38

so happ finally free.

1:11:40

Well look what your generation did with

1:11:42

Britney Spears.

1:11:43

You freed her.

1:11:44

Now look well we got ourselves into a bit of

1:11:46

a pickle. So I'm just let that be a cautionary

1:11:49

dale. No, but you

1:11:53

know, it's just I have two things to say about that. One,

1:11:55

you should watch this documentary my friend Joshua

1:11:57

Fay made called Loss for Life, and

1:12:00

it's about youth with life sentences

1:12:02

and most of them were horribly abused and

1:12:05

killed their abuser or horribly abused

1:12:07

and then became violent themselves. And it's very

1:12:10

thought provoking about that. And also if

1:12:13

you look at like battered women who then kill

1:12:15

the husband. That's also illegal. You

1:12:19

know, it's not self defense

1:12:21

unless in the very moment right like

1:12:23

someone is holding a gun to your temper.

1:12:25

Was a stranger, Like if a stranger

1:12:27

came in your house and started beating it, you could kill him. But

1:12:30

if it's your partner.

1:12:32

But if it's I guess if your husband's hitting you in

1:12:34

the moment, you could shoot them. No, probably

1:12:36

not. I don't know, but

1:12:38

I think I remember in the past being

1:12:41

outraged by these kinds of laws that it's like,

1:12:43

it feels like self defense doesn't

1:12:46

apply to children and women or something like

1:12:48

that.

1:12:49

Yeah, I think you might be onto something anyway.

1:12:51

I don't know if Gypsy Rose is

1:12:54

my hero, but you're saying she's yours.

1:12:57

I feel like she's up there, you know. You

1:13:00

know it's so exciting because it is a new year, and

1:13:02

so we're waiting to see what's going to happen

1:13:04

with her, right you know, there's

1:13:06

a lot of jokes on there of like, oh, she's gonna be on Dancing

1:13:08

with the Stars. You know, she's

1:13:10

going to be on Traders, you know, the new

1:13:13

season. So I don't I don't think that's going to

1:13:15

happen, But I do think that she is going

1:13:17

to have some kind of fame this year, But I

1:13:19

just hope it doesn't go bad.

1:13:21

You know.

1:13:22

Well, I'll think about it. I'll

1:13:24

watch a couple of tiktoks and see if I can

1:13:27

muster.

1:13:27

Tiktoks are so funny, Chelsey, Okay,

1:13:30

but.

1:13:30

See, I can't tell if you're being serious

1:13:32

that you really look up to this person or if it's

1:13:34

like all of little bit.

1:13:36

Well it's it's somewhere in between. But

1:13:38

I am happy for her, you know, because you

1:13:40

know, she was just she was mistreated

1:13:42

her whole life, you know, and now and then she was in

1:13:45

prison, and she's probably happier in

1:13:47

prison than with the mom, you know. Right now.

1:13:49

But now here's the thing. She has a husband that she

1:13:51

met in prison, like through like letters

1:13:53

or something, so like I don't know about that, but she

1:13:56

does have a husband. Now it looks like she's happy.

1:13:58

But I guess time will tell.

1:14:00

Time will tell. You know, this episode

1:14:02

is interesting. It's almost like a Charlie Rose

1:14:05

interview mixed with you

1:14:07

talking about Gypsy wrote anyway,

1:14:11

well, listen, it really is time

1:14:14

to go. I've this has been

1:14:16

a long, long one. I actually forgot to do

1:14:18

phone calls.

1:14:19

My bad, but

1:14:24

thank you for thank you for letting me talk. My birthdays

1:14:26

next week and this is a great birthday.

1:14:27

Oh, happy birthday, thank

1:14:31

you, thank you?

1:14:31

All right?

1:14:34

Happy bird hat?

1:14:36

Do you get that? Because sometimes your phone changes it to

1:14:38

bird.

1:14:40

I never, I don't think I've had that.

1:14:42

You have to misspell it. Yeah, it'll be like bird

1:14:44

hat.

1:14:45

Happy bird hat. I guess that's

1:14:50

it. I actually have to do jury duty soon.

1:14:53

Possibly we'll see.

1:14:55

I feel like, let's

1:14:57

see, well is

1:15:00

where it.

1:15:01

It is.

1:15:03

Between you and I

1:15:07

just cannot pretend to

1:15:11

see what I do not see.

1:15:15

Oh, Mike, and

1:15:17

you just have that.

1:15:18

This is all I heart, Like, I can't use

1:15:21

my old sounds because I only have the iHeart.

1:15:23

Yeah, that's just it.

1:15:25

Oh wait, hold on, I'll do my other thing that I like to

1:15:27

do, cars

1:15:31

reaching out. That's that's me. And then here

1:15:33

goes Pete