0:01

Let's go. It's a freezing, cold,

0:03

rainy day in LA today.

0:05

Thanks for tuning in to W eight oh

0:07

eight oh nine O two oh three oh five

0:09

oh four krs

0:12

twenty one fifty eight r

0:14

r C ll C BOO Data

0:16

Bay.

0:19

Were here at the show. Thank you so

0:21

kindly for tuning in. I

0:24

am Chelsea PERETTI. I'm having a little waterloo.

0:27

Orange Vanilla won't tell you how

0:29

I feel about it because they're

0:31

not a paid sponsor. Do

0:34

I like it or do I hate it?

0:36

Hard to tell you in a

0:38

cloak of secrecy, I

0:42

myself am freezing. How

0:45

are you? Bom

0:51

boom boom boo boom boom boom boom

0:53

boom boom boom boom bo bom boom boom

0:55

boom boo boom boo

1:02

bim bomb

1:05

bound down bound bamp

1:07

bound bomb on boom bomb, but don't

1:09

boom boom. And

1:14

that's without coffee. God,

1:16

I wish I had my midday coffee. I forgot,

1:19

I plum forget. Life

1:22

feels like it's going on triple speed lately.

1:24

Is that My age is that because

1:26

of the pandemic and the strike shutting

1:28

my industry down, and then all of a sudden, it's like, oh,

1:30

go, go go, or

1:33

is it just me my brains slowing

1:36

down, you

1:39

know, shutting down? We

1:41

don't know yet. We're gonna wait for a team

1:43

of scientists to figure the answers out.

1:47

What are we doing today? What are

1:49

we doing today? What are

1:51

we doing today? What are

1:53

we doing when? What are we down? When? What are

1:55

we down today? What

1:58

we're gonna do is look at some voicemails. That's one.

2:03

Two.

2:03

We're thinking about introducing a co host

2:05

on the show. We've

2:08

been thinking, hey, and by we,

2:10

I mean me And that's really what it comes down

2:12

to. I'm lonely. Imagine

2:15

if there really were all we and

2:17

we co hosted this podcast.

2:20

Can you imagine how fantastic that would feel

2:23

to have a Pardner in crime, a

2:26

Pardner in kroom. Let's

2:28

see we have a few voicemails, not

2:33

a ton, but a few. Let's

2:35

see what we got, Hi.

2:37

Chelsea, it's

2:39

Alex. What is

2:41

a sailor's favorite pop

2:44

song?

2:46

The R?

2:47

She blows, R

2:50

she blows again?

2:53

Thank you for your time?

2:56

Must observe a moment of silence. Wow,

3:04

I literally when he goes What is a

3:06

sailor's favorite pop song? I thought

3:08

it was gonna be like fuck ship pussy

3:11

cunt, because sailors like to swear, so

3:14

my mind was already waiting for just a swearing

3:17

bonanza. And then

3:20

it was yeah, ship

3:22

pussy cuntu, ship pussy

3:25

cunt, ship ship pussy cut

3:27

cunt, ship pussy cunt.

3:29

Ship

3:32

pussy cunt ship

3:35

ship puss's cut.

3:38

All right, let's see what we got next.

3:41

Hi, Chelsey, I just wanted to

3:43

come tell you about my

3:46

amazing experience, my most recent amazing

3:49

experience with the man. So

3:53

we were together for like three months, and

3:55

then whenever everything started going bad,

3:58

I asked him to give you my sweaters back that he

4:00

had borrowed, and he had some hesitancy

4:03

to him, so I was like, what's up, Like, can

4:05

I get those back? And he's like I would,

4:07

but I blew my nose in one

4:10

and I shot my load into the other one, and

4:14

so I burst into tears as he berated

4:16

me on how irrational I was being for my

4:18

reaction to that. And

4:20

then months later he started stalking

4:23

me and banging on my window at two in the

4:25

morning.

4:25

Yeah, and after I.

4:26

Told him I never see him again, I

4:29

called him out to a bar like a week later and slept

4:31

with him.

4:34

Girl bowl no sad

4:38

goals. That sounds abusive

4:40

to me. That was my first instinct. And

4:42

then you said he started stalking you. I'm like,

4:44

hold on now, ugh,

4:47

that ding is brutal. There I like

4:49

the new ding. I have to say, Okay,

4:52

abusive uh stocker

4:57

mm putting fucking disgusting

5:00

bodily fluids in your clothing.

5:04

No, that is not up. And then

5:06

we slept again. We again. Nope,

5:09

thank you no, thank

5:11

you, no,

5:14

thank you no,

5:17

thank you no, thank

5:19

you no, thank you

5:22

no, thank you? Gross?

5:28

Hate it, hate it for you? Do

5:30

you deserve better?

5:31

Okay, Hey, Chelsea, I

5:33

just saw your posts about Hondas

5:36

just flowing past you on the road to

5:38

quote you. Okay, so I've

5:40

almost second handed out, and for

5:43

some reason, I think something in my brain

5:45

broke when I find that, least the first time.

5:48

Like I've always considered myself to be a really

5:50

safe driver and like a normal

5:52

driver. But then the second I got behind

5:54

the wheel of that blue Honda Civic,

5:57

like I swear to God, I couldn't control right.

6:00

So I would like zip around New York City

6:02

like a crazy person driving from

6:04

Brooklyn Manhattan for my job and

6:07

like actually being a psychopath on the roads.

6:09

I think that when I signed

6:11

that leaf, my brain broke.

6:13

I really think something inside me happened. But

6:16

now we have a new one that I actually got yesterday,

6:19

and already I've noticed that, like

6:23

I've been driving a little.

6:24

Bit more responsibly.

6:25

I don't know if the blue color did the silver color

6:27

makes any difference, but when I had the blue Honda Civic,

6:29

I definitely would way worse on

6:32

the roads, and the silver Honda Civic now I'm driving

6:34

a bit more responsibly. I

6:36

don't know if that helps or if that explains

6:38

anything, but I do know that my

6:41

brain was chemically altered upon

6:43

signing that lease, So hopefully that explains

6:46

something for you.

6:47

Oh sorry, what has happened?

6:50

What someone had a Honda.

6:57

Anymore?

7:02

It's crazy how many words went into just

7:05

that tale. I think what I'm going to

7:07

say is that that might just be

7:09

the New York talking. Anyone who has to drive

7:12

for a job in New York City, you have

7:14

to be crazy, because everyone drives

7:17

crazy in New York and LA, by the way,

7:20

but it's a different kind of crazy

7:23

in New York and LA, A

7:26

different kind of crazy. To day

7:29

The truth is New York drivers

7:31

are like homicidal and LA

7:34

drivers are entitled. They're

7:36

like I'm on the list. New

7:38

York drivers are like a fucking kill you and

7:42

I don't care if I die. Pick your fighter?

7:45

Okay, what else do we got?

7:47

Hey, what's going on? My

7:49

name is Danny.

7:51

I was just wondering what was your

7:54

experience like on a

7:56

helicopter?

7:57

Was it fine?

8:00

Are pretty cool? I

8:03

hope you have a wonderful day.

8:06

My paranoid thought was what does he

8:08

know about me? And then I was like, oh,

8:11

I did go in a helicopter on

8:14

Louie. And

8:16

the crazy thing about that was they

8:19

were like, usually you have to buckle your

8:21

seat belt and stuff as it's taken off, but

8:24

we're cool or something like that, and so I

8:26

just kind of like, because it was a fast

8:28

getaway, I jumped in the helicopter.

8:30

I'm like kind of grabbing onto the seat belt with

8:33

my hand and then it's lifting off into the air.

8:36

That's all I remember was being told

8:39

that there was safety regulation that we were gonna

8:41

shirk. But it was fun and

8:43

I did feel safe. I don't remember being scared

8:46

or anything. I

8:49

also did a helicopter ride Oh,

8:52

maybe it's this because I did mention this. I

8:55

think at some point a helicopter ride

8:57

in Hawaii where my dad

8:59

was like convincing me to

9:02

do it right after I had my baby. And

9:05

then after that, I feel like I

9:07

read that there was some that had gone down. I

9:10

was like, why did I allow myself? Why did

9:12

I allow my style? Sometimes I

9:14

really I can hear my voice and the

9:17

vocal fry, and I'm like, this sounds like those frogs

9:19

with the you know, those instruments where you rub a stick

9:21

on it's ridged back, and it's like and

9:26

as much as I know people who hate vocal

9:28

fry, what

9:30

can I do when I try to make my voice

9:33

like, hey, how are you? I mean? I could

9:35

do it, but it takes effort, like it

9:37

is vocal fry just pure laziness, because

9:40

it does feel like, Hi, guys,

9:42

welcome to the podcast. It's

9:45

just it's work. Hey how are

9:47

you?

9:48

I mean?

9:48

That is how a lot of I hate

9:50

to say women sound to me.

9:54

Hey, how's it going?

9:55

You got?

9:56

There's something I call chardonnay voice, which

9:59

is like and generally Caucasians

10:01

get together and drink chardonnay and they're

10:03

like.

10:07

You're crazy.

10:11

When I was in London, I actually heard a table

10:13

laughing like that, and then they were Americans,

10:16

and I said, I

10:21

heard a Dame ol Amman like that, and

10:24

they were Americans. Glass

10:26

houses, right, me

10:28

and my awful vocal fry throwing

10:31

fucking rocks at

10:33

the shrill voice ladies, I

10:36

have no ground to stand on ordering

10:40

the cot.

10:42

Hi.

10:42

Guys, hey, it's me Chelsea. I'm

10:45

coming into you with a bit of an airy voice,

10:48

but also calming upbeat

10:50

an airy how's that? Okay,

10:53

let's see another voicemail.

10:54

Okay, Hi, I heard

10:57

you were looking for bird calls,

10:59

so this is a turkey wow,

11:07

and here is a just random

11:10

bird call.

11:10

I actually have no idea.

11:11

Where I heard this.

11:16

Wow while

11:19

mixed with not wow.

11:23

Yeah, I hope that was helpful.

11:25

Wow, mic drop on.

11:26

My name is Sarah.

11:28

Have a good day, Sarah. Coming

11:31

in with two bird calls and hanging

11:33

up could have gone for three, you know

11:35

the rule of threes. I would have looked, let

11:39

me see if I can make anything sound like a real bird.

11:44

No, I don't have it. I don't

11:46

have the skill. All right, Well, so these

11:48

aren't going great.

11:49

Let me see, Hey, Chelsea, my

11:52

name is Meg, and I just

11:55

throw my retainer. So I probably

11:57

sound a little bit lispy, but

11:59

I just heard an interview recently

12:01

with Werner Herzog and

12:04

he discussed penguins marching

12:06

off into the distance, into oblivion

12:08

when they were separated from their partners. And

12:11

I'm really bothered by this and

12:14

it's not sitting well with me. And I'm

12:17

just thinking, like, if penguins are having existential

12:19

crisises, that there's the retainer

12:23

that's fun to say, what

12:26

hope is there for me? Basically, like

12:28

if a penguin can't keep it together,

12:32

I got what you know, What

12:34

the hell hope is there for me?

12:35

I don't know.

12:37

It's the thoughts. At one thirty in Toronto, it's

12:40

like negative sixteen degrees all

12:43

the best.

12:44

Almost feels though like you could take your

12:46

retainer out before calling in. Or

12:49

is it like glued in penguins.

12:56

I'd like to learn more about this. What

12:58

do they do just walk off a cliff if they get

13:00

separated from their loved ones. There's animals

13:03

that meet for life. Isn't that weird?

13:05

There's not. It's not just like humans

13:07

trying to do that. Probably it's easier for animals

13:10

because they're not going to get lost in conversation

13:12

with another animal.

13:13

Hello, my name is Nicholas. I play Shruk

13:16

on the Shrek board of a national tour, and I'm going to teach

13:18

you how to make crazy cupcakes.

13:20

As Mark Hamil's joker that

13:22

makes the cupcakes.

13:23

Tight to eat the oven storm seven

13:26

degrees celsius or three hundred and thirty

13:28

eight degrees fahrenheit. But then the

13:30

cupcake ten by filling it with favorite

13:32

cupcake cases. Miss the butter

13:35

and sugar together until it is light, and the

13:38

and as the egg and mix well

13:40

the yeah, the flour until it is all combined.

13:43

Then add the milky mix until the

13:45

batter is fluffy and ooo. Fill

13:48

the cupcake cases but one third

13:50

before pushing it in a single marshmallow.

13:53

Then fill the cases until they are two

13:55

thirds of the wave falls. Put the cupcakes

13:57

immediately into the oven, and bake

14:00

for fifteen minutes. After

14:02

the big slip, the cupcakes cools completely.

14:09

H Well, first

14:12

of all, hold on, waite, who do you say it was?

14:15

Hello?

14:15

My name is Nicholas.

14:16

I play Shrek on the Shrek bard of a national tour.

14:19

Wow.

14:20

First of all, this is huge for us.

14:25

This is huge for us here

14:28

at the show, and by

14:30

us, I mean me and my new co

14:32

host TBD. But

14:35

the thing it makes me think about is how actors aren't

14:37

writers, so he's just literally reading

14:39

a recipe. I feel like, gosh, couldn't

14:42

you just put together any little smidgeon

14:44

of writing of your own? We

14:46

gotta listen to you read a fucking recipe.

14:50

But this is what makes actors so amazing,

14:53

right, Like they can just take a fucking

14:55

cupcake recipe and run with it, have

15:00

fun out there doing the Shrek show

15:04

the Broadway. What did he say? Broadway

15:07

Shrek Traveling Tour.

15:10

Wow, Now that's

15:12

a story I don't hear often. Thanks

15:15

for calling the pod Hellol,

15:20

it's real. Hi, Yeah it is

15:22

okay. I wish I wish I could say it wasn't, But

15:25

oh my god, here we are.

15:27

I'm not gonna fangirl because I don't

15:29

want you to hang up on me.

15:30

I'm starving.

15:31

I just ate.

15:32

Oh my god, that's a

15:34

mess.

15:35

I just ate

15:38

some Irish soda bread. But I wanted to ask you

15:40

about something.

15:40

Unless there's a topic, No, you know there

15:43

isn't you know where this is a this little

15:46

train is far off the tracks.

15:50

Okay, I wanted to get your opinion, and I'm really

15:52

sorry if you've already taken a stance on this in

15:54

the past, but I wanted your opinion on cottage cheese

15:56

because there have been so

15:58

many haters for so many years.

16:00

And now everybody loved it.

16:02

And I've kind of been there, you know, say

16:04

one and small

16:08

curd, of course, but

16:10

I just wanted to know if you like.

16:12

It cottage cheese.

16:14

Let me get myself buckled up for this

16:16

one. So what's fascinating

16:19

is that fucking muky peanut

16:21

butter and cottage cheese have just reared

16:23

their ugly heads time and time again

16:25

on recent episodes.

16:27

Oh really, so people have already

16:29

talked to you about cottage.

16:30

Cheese, That's what I'm saying. So the point

16:33

being, peanut butter and cottage

16:35

cheese two classic gloppy

16:37

proteins. They're coming up. They're hot topics

16:39

on the pot. One thing I do want

16:41

to try if we have any bakers

16:44

that want to bake some of these viral cottage

16:46

cheese. It's a little late, I feel like, but still

16:49

I'll try them, these these viral

16:51

cottage cheese recipes. There is

16:54

cheesecake.

16:54

What is?

16:55

I feel like there's beyond just cheesecake. There

16:58

are so many weird things people are.

16:59

People make cottage cheese, bread, bread.

17:02

I have no interest in cottage cheese bread.

17:05

Okay, well, can I give you my recipe

17:07

for this movie I make that everybody makes fun

17:09

of me for.

17:10

But it's like so delicious.

17:11

It has some trigger ingredients, I

17:13

think, because it has cottage BEEAs and peanut butter. But

17:17

do I have permission to give you the other ingredients?

17:20

You have permission to tell me? Did you already call

17:22

and tell me this exact thing already?

17:24

No?

17:24

Oh, yeah, I left the message. You listened to it?

17:27

Yeah, I

17:31

have period.

17:31

I did, and it hasn't aired yet, but I've

17:34

already listened to it and weighed in on it. So

17:36

the very cottage cheese trend I

17:38

thought was evolving might just be you.

17:41

I'm so embarrassed. If you could see my face, it's

17:43

right red.

17:44

You want to talk about anything else?

17:45

Mmm?

17:46

No?

17:47

I wish I had gotten a tackle.

17:50

Only cottage cheese

17:52

is on your mind.

17:56

And maybe the next time I think of something else, like really,

17:59

maybe even more thought provoking.

18:01

How did cheese?

18:02

I'll try again?

18:02

What was your childhood, Like, huh, pretty

18:05

happy.

18:07

I had a dog that I loved and she was really sweet.

18:10

She went every bite and

18:15

I liked the rollerblade.

18:18

H you have a roller blade?

18:21

No?

18:22

I thought that had been outlawed in two

18:24

thousand, the year two

18:26

thousand. Wow,

18:29

No, I've never done it. You

18:32

know what I've gotten increasing.

18:33

I had a traumatic childhood.

18:35

You know what I'm increasingly scared of,

18:38

though, back to your rollerblading,

18:41

I'm scared now that I've watched the process

18:43

of a child growing and

18:45

losing teeth, I'm scared of losing

18:47

my adult teeth. The more

18:50

things that I.

18:50

Know, what, Chelsea, I lost an adult

18:52

tooth last year?

18:54

Was it rollerblading?

18:55

No, I was on a crunchy trigger

18:58

Joe's plantain crewton know if

19:00

you can believe it.

19:01

Not Trader Joe. Wait,

19:04

you lost an entire tooth?

19:06

Yeah, like knocks it loose, and then yeah,

19:11

I had to get removed and I had to get like a screw

19:13

put in. Oh and for a while,

19:15

I just walked around without a tooth for like six

19:17

months because they threw in and then you

19:20

have to like let that heel. So I just started

19:22

talking like without my bottom.

19:24

Teeth, Like, damn, I

19:26

can't believe you buried this story. Okay,

19:30

I know, I guess it is. Yeah.

19:32

So, first of all, it involves Trader Joe's are

19:35

We've done an episode with Adam

19:38

Scott all about Trader Joe's snacks And

19:42

I am just reeling

19:44

here that you which tooth? Was it a front tooth

19:46

or a side tooth?

19:47

Yeah, like the front bottom tooth, right

19:50

of the middle.

19:51

A front Bottomye, that's unusual.

19:53

I've actually never seen someone with that. I feel

19:55

like a lot of people are walking this earth

19:58

with a missing side tooth like

20:00

upper side. There's a lot of

20:02

people they smile and you go, oh the

20:09

little yeah where

20:11

one side tooth is missing, which I'd love to

20:14

know. Why does that happen? You would think

20:16

that would be the least vulnerable tooth, but

20:18

those are frequently missing.

20:20

Well they're a little they're kind

20:22

of yeah, I don't know. I don't know how the side teeth get

20:24

out, the bottom ones, like, in my opinion, you know,

20:26

their dinner and maybe

20:29

they just don't have much to hold on to.

20:32

I don't know.

20:33

So you just literally bit into something

20:35

crunchy and your tooth just popped out.

20:37

I mean, it was like it didn't pop

20:39

out. No, my tooth just got loose, and

20:42

then I had to go to the

20:44

dentist and there was something wrong with the nerve. It

20:47

is a long journey.

20:48

Have you ever read this children's book

20:51

called The Day the Goose Got Loose? No,

20:55

it sounds difficult because you could have a book

20:57

The Day the Tooth Got Loose.

21:01

I know I have to I have to find a way to profit that.

21:05

The Day the Tooth got looth is.

21:09

I was an unexpected surprise because I'm like, what

21:11

am I going to do with loose to make it run? And then

21:13

I go looth. Oh, that's exactly how

21:15

you would talk if your tooth would booth. Oh

21:18

my gosh, So you were missing a bottom tooth.

21:20

Was there any advantage to that you had it out

21:22

for six months? Would you stick a straw in it or

21:24

anything?

21:25

Fun?

21:26

Yes, for sure, the straw.

21:29

That was a good party trick.

21:34

But there was really nothing

21:36

else.

21:36

I guess I could like blow some.

21:38

Wind through it, yeah, whistling?

21:40

Oh could you whistle through it?

21:43

No?

21:43

It didn't really make any noise. But I had

21:45

a feel like, you know, I I

21:48

had just gotten a new job and I was like they're

21:50

all going to think I'm a freak, right, and I couldn't

21:52

like go on any dates.

21:54

Yeah.

21:56

It was really just a time where

21:59

for six months my life was kind of on hold.

22:01

You were you on like a dating

22:03

app and you just have a big old smile

22:05

with when tooth gone on the bottom and just no

22:08

matches. No, no,

22:11

I know, because

22:13

that's fu like that is one hundred

22:15

percent fixable. But people would put

22:18

it in the discard pile almost guaranteed.

22:20

And you know what if I should have done that, because

22:23

if I found someone that was willing to see pass

22:25

like, then you know they're really no.

22:27

There's your rom com for you. It's

22:30

like My Year of

22:33

No Tooth and it's at sun Dance

22:35

and it's like you crying

22:37

with your tooth missing against a wall, sliding

22:39

down the wall, like My Blue Valentine.

22:42

The film is called Blue Valentine, not

22:45

My Blue Valentine. And

22:48

then the guy's also missing, he's

22:51

missing an arm. And

22:53

then you guys are making love and it's like tastefully

22:57

shot, but you're both kind of missing stuff.

23:01

Hmm.

23:02

Maybe I love the missing missing

23:05

love anyway.

23:09

I feel like you don't feel like this lost

23:11

tooth is as much of a gold mine as

23:13

I do. Like you yourself feel

23:16

a little bit.

23:17

Bored, Yeah,

23:19

I think it was just like something I'm trying to repress, you

23:21

know, mm

23:23

hmm. But

23:26

not a day would buy that. I'm not grateful for.

23:30

Just writing.

23:31

Not a day goes by.

23:34

Actually, Chelsey, if I can ask one more question, what

23:36

do you think about veneers?

23:39

Love them? I

23:42

love them?

23:43

You have them.

23:44

I wish I can't afford them. I'm saving

23:47

up, but I have

23:52

nars. They look so

23:54

natural. Now, honestly, this

23:57

is a weird story. But my teeth, because

24:00

as of my age, combined with how much coffee

24:02

I drink and maybe

24:04

other things I like to eat tomato sauce

24:07

apparently can stain your teeth. Whatever,

24:11

they're a little less white than

24:13

they used to be. You know, comes with the territory

24:16

I think of being a human and aging.

24:19

But amber Rose,

24:22

do we know? Are we all familiar? Yeah? Amber

24:24

Rose? Okay? I

24:28

follow her on Instagram. I think she follows

24:30

me because that's how I was able to message her. I

24:32

go, what is your secret? Your

24:35

teeth are glistening

24:38

and white, and let me tell you they don't look like

24:40

veneers and really

24:44

yeah, And I'm pretty sure she

24:46

told me that it was Veneers. Is

24:49

this telling her business? I'm

24:51

gonna have to check with her. Anyway.

24:55

I was like, can I do zoom whitening? And

24:58

she was like, it really isn't the same, but

25:02

yeah, long story short, as I feel panicked

25:05

that I'm not holding your attention and

25:07

you are only a small portion

25:09

of what the listener must be feeling

25:12

extreme boredom.

25:14

But whenever.

25:17

I did do the zoom whitening, and I did

25:19

feel like it was pretty

25:22

amazing. However, I feel like I

25:24

would need to do it every other day at

25:26

the rate.

25:27

I just the rebound. They say,

25:29

like your teeth rebound.

25:30

Yeah, and then they say.

25:32

Like you can't eat anything except white or.

25:34

Clear food for like hours,

25:36

and I was like, as always, I'm always

25:38

pushing it. Like when I had a C section, I was

25:40

like, they were like only liquids, I'm

25:43

like bone broth, and then I promptly

25:45

fucking yacked all over the place. I was

25:47

like, ugh, I'm a genius bone

25:49

breath. It's liquid, but it's nutritive.

25:53

And then I fucking page my brains

25:55

out while I was laying flat. Don't recommend

25:57

it okay anyway,

26:00

but I wish I could wipe my teeth every

26:02

other day. I also am curious about those

26:04

pens and wipes that you can use on your

26:07

teeth.

26:08

But yeah, that doesn't feel real

26:10

to me.

26:11

Me neither. I have those things, but

26:13

I've just never tried it. I

26:17

just don't want viniars to be the only answer. It's

26:20

obviously a sore topic for me. I

26:23

used to really pride myself on my tin and

26:25

my white teeth, and then I am

26:28

prone to skin cancer and need

26:31

coffee who constantly so

26:34

took a dark turn. Yeah, do you

26:36

regret Colin? You want to go back

26:38

to cottage teeth? No, Lily

26:41

gonna getting ding ding? Oh it's like out of time. Goodbye? Hello,

26:50

Oh my god.

26:54

Okay, this is so cool, Chelsea.

27:01

Oh no, wait,

27:04

do you want to talk about ceramics?

27:10

Is that a? Yes?

27:15

All right?

27:16

I feel like ceramics was a go. I've

27:19

been doing ceramics for like two years, which

27:22

you know, I'm like cursedly Brooklyn,

27:27

I don't know any more of like a are

27:31

you more of a slab girl? Are

27:33

you more of a real girl?

27:35

Star?

27:38

Okay, I'm not sure which one that was

27:41

for Okay, we'll try again. Slabs.

27:45

Okay, cool, I'm also doing slabs. That's

27:47

sick. Have

27:52

you tried my thing right now? As I'm

27:55

doing a lot of like colored clay and

27:57

like this Japanese technique called mary. I

28:00

don't know if you're familiar. Yeah,

28:03

that's the reaction that I get from a lot of people. It's

28:05

it's pretty complicated stuff. You have

28:07

to mix your own clay with

28:10

the uh with the color.

28:12

Just and I know if you but

28:15

like the chemicalmics,

28:21

whenever I mix them, I have to uh go

28:24

up on my roof with.

28:25

A gas mask.

28:28

I'm like, you

28:30

don't have good reception. You

28:32

just you simply don't have good reception.

28:34

You've been breaking up for the last full

28:37

minute and

28:40

great topic, bad reception.

28:42

Sorry, maybe

28:45

next time sucks.

28:46

I would love to talk about ceramics. In fact, the

28:49

colored clays I have never seen.

28:51

I would like to get my hands on. It seems cool.

28:53

I've been watching the Great Throwdown, and

28:57

you know, I've hit the point in my ceramics and

29:00

usiasm where I'm learning that there's

29:03

so much I don't know and I'm more

29:05

now frustrated by the limits of my

29:07

own ability, which

29:10

really is the wall that I come up against in every

29:12

field. Oh

29:21

hey, it hello,

29:24

what time is it where you are?

29:26

Uh?

29:26

It's ten am here in Australia on

29:29

the East Park.

29:30

Never gets sold, never gets

29:32

so old. It's tenn a in there and it's

29:35

absolutely four pm are I can't

29:37

even wrap my head around it.

29:40

It is mind blowing. I work

29:42

in a global company on a movie

29:44

board, but I have made these people all over the world

29:46

and I just have to always look at

29:49

the time.

29:51

Now here's something crazy and trippy that I'm trying

29:53

not to make my brain go to. But it is

29:56

who invented time? When did time

29:59

come about? When was the first clock? And

30:02

when like people first traveled

30:04

to different continents? Were they like there's

30:06

a time difference or was it just like

30:10

how does that work?

30:11

Oh my god?

30:13

I feel like maybe it was the mind, Like

30:15

you know, I don't know, I don't know why, like

30:17

the first stack hmm

30:21

yeah, but you

30:23

know what, there's real which.

30:25

She could get time there absolutely does

30:27

my head in because about

30:30

thirty minutes south from here is

30:32

another stake.

30:33

Okay, we have an right.

30:36

I mean, it's all it's all manufactured,

30:39

it's all just like you

30:42

know, it's like not real, per

30:44

se, So what Israel? Because don't

30:46

talk about it Israel? Not now, not

30:49

the time for that. But

30:53

you know, it's like it's

30:55

you're basically I'm just wondering, like say,

30:58

in the olden days, you got on your

31:00

ship and you had your clock, and

31:03

then you went somewhere else, what would

31:05

the actual cause? You know, like in California

31:07

we voted on like

31:12

if we should get rid of daylight savings time.

31:14

I'm like, hold up, that's an option. We're

31:17

just out here pretending

31:20

daylight savings time is a thing, like, yeah,

31:23

let's get rid of it. And I think we all voted

31:25

to get rid of it, but then it was too complex to

31:28

actually do it.

31:30

I mean, we're, yeah, we're pretty much just shape

31:33

holding what we're supposed to do sometimes

31:35

of the day, right, And you know why the

31:38

time difference is because we'll see, it's

31:40

actually surprisingly because of the bonds.

31:43

I was just about to say that, Yeah,

32:10

So the point being, that's exactly

32:13

what I heard is the reason that the daylight

32:15

saving time could.

32:17

Not be.

32:19

Changed is that farmers like the early

32:22

light mornings.

32:25

Yes, which is sort of you

32:27

know, quite a lot warmer than other

32:29

parts of Australia and it

32:32

gets really hot, so I think they like to be out

32:34

at work.

32:35

Oh, there's parts of Australia that aren't

32:37

on fire. I literally think

32:39

of all of Australia as just being engulfed

32:42

in eternal flames.

32:46

You know what, this year, we haven't had anything too

32:49

bad?

32:50

Are the koalas? Is the population

32:52

rebounding? This is all I know about your

32:54

people, right, the fires and the koalas

32:57

dying off. We were concerned over here

33:00

about those little koalas.

33:03

We got a lot of support out of Hollywood

33:05

for some weird reason. Everyone loved

33:07

the gold I mean, I love them too, so

33:10

cute. But the koala population

33:12

and a lot of work going on. But people

33:15

is human beings as usual. The

33:17

structure is going up everywhere near

33:20

their habitat. Literally the other day I was

33:22

driving down the highway, I was like, why is

33:24

this yere? There's so much koala

33:27

habitat near there. There's signs

33:29

flow down to fours.

33:30

But it's like, at least make every

33:33

apartment complex have a mini

33:35

koala preserve built into

33:37

the courtyard or something. Right, It's cute.

33:40

Yeah, Yeah, When

33:44

I was a kid, we used to have them in our backyard all

33:46

the time. In once we

33:48

came home from school when there was one in our

33:51

loud room.

33:52

Oh oh, and then.

33:55

We get it out.

33:56

But there's another incidance

33:58

when you're as a kid, well where we broke up

34:01

in the night and one was actually attacking

34:03

my dog.

34:04

Oh boy, so my

34:07

dad sort of I'm

34:09

imagining like a koala kind

34:12

of moonwalking because they're so slow. I'm

34:14

imagining it kind of moonwalking towards your

34:16

dog holding a knife, like really

34:18

slowly.

34:20

There, like knife and

34:23

yeah, that's what I mean. They're

34:25

not coolse obviously because they're climbing up trees

34:27

and holding on trees all the time.

34:29

So yeah, they do.

34:30

You're not.

34:30

You're not far from it with the.

34:32

Cool are they fast? Though?

34:34

They run is actually really cute because

34:36

they've got like fat at the bottoms and you

34:39

know, they kind of run like how you

34:41

describe it to expluid

34:44

the.

34:49

Two legs back. That's a pollow up door

34:51

song. I'm going to guess it's everyone,

34:54

I guess.

34:55

Yeah, yeah,

34:58

super cute. All right, Well, yeah,

35:02

so speaking of Australian animals,

35:04

I was actually going to

35:06

tell you about a recent attack that I enjoyed.

35:09

Okay, last weekend. Yeah,

35:23

you heard of a blue bottle jellyfish.

35:25

Not that particular one.

35:28

No, Okay, I'm not sure if it's endemic

35:32

to Australia or if it's uh found

35:34

in other places. But yeah,

35:37

they're like these. Actually I'm a massive

35:39

ocean lover. They're these beautiful

35:42

looking blue, really deep

35:44

blue jellyfish with montent coles

35:47

and their heads kind of is like blaring up

35:49

like a blue.

35:51

A minute, and isn't there is

35:54

that octopus? There's something that's a blue ring

35:56

octopus. I think I would avoid

35:58

anything blue that I saw in the water, like

36:01

particularly any kind of vibrant blue

36:03

that's a jellyfish. I would go, I bet this

36:06

MF is going to sting like a B I

36:08

T C H.

36:11

And you would be CEO double R

36:13

A T because not a

36:16

What.

36:16

Do you spell? What'd you spell?

36:21

Did you say?

36:22

Did I? Did you say?

36:24

Oh?

36:24

You said c O R R E C T.

36:26

Yeah. Good. I was like, that doesn't sound

36:28

like that right, and I got confused.

36:31

Okay, yeah, so tell

36:33

me your tail.

36:35

Yes. So just first to differentiate,

36:37

there is a difference between a blue bottle and a blue

36:39

ring octopus. Blaring octopus will

36:42

probably kill you, but

36:45

a blue bottle. As you can say, I survived

36:47

so not as not as deadly.

36:51

So you have just down.

36:52

Have you heard a Firing Bay before?

36:55

Yeah?

36:55

Netflix series Firing Bay beautiful

36:58

area like my stunning beaches in

37:01

the world, I think, and

37:04

had been surfing. I had this awesome

37:06

a few days away with my girlfriend and was

37:09

like pushing her on a few waves and

37:12

then just having.

37:13

Some fun in the water.

37:14

And then I was all of a sudden, my

37:16

legs just started burning. And I

37:19

thought I'd just gone through some steelers, right,

37:22

you know, like okay, just to see little things

37:25

here, And then it was like flames

37:27

were coming up my legs and

37:30

I just put my hand down to touch my legs

37:32

because I was sort of in the shallows. The water was about

37:35

up to my knees, and I felt this, oh

37:38

no, no, agially

37:43

peture on my legs with my hands.

37:46

You know, you think

37:49

you think.

37:50

I'd like to remain calm, Yeah,

37:53

sure, hand of it with the

37:55

gest you know. I mean, I don't

37:58

know that I could leave a jellyfish on

38:00

my leg I'm assuming you're not supposed

38:02

to, but I think I would have to rip it off and

38:04

fling it as far as I could, that said,

38:06

your hand, then your hand

38:09

would get hurt, right, what is

38:11

the end?

38:12

Exactly exactly? So I did so

38:14

into just started grabbing it and can't

38:16

cool off. And the more that I pulled it off, the more

38:18

that it wrapped around. So the tentacles

38:21

were wrapped around both of my legs.

38:23

Oh my god at

38:25

the time, and I was.

38:27

Running out of the water, screw.

38:29

Hold on, I got to stop you. I

38:31

got to stop you. On this pause on you

38:33

running out of the water screaming. Your mouth is open

38:36

in this paused image. Are there pictures

38:38

of this?

38:39

Yeah, I've got the asters, like obviously

38:43

in that.

38:43

Moment, that'll do.

38:46

Hey, you know, I'm sure there were some people on the beach it

38:48

was very busy, that were going what the hell

38:50

is that girl doing? And also I didn't want

38:52

to make it look like I'd been attacked by a shark or

38:54

something. Is scared if you want and get everyone on

38:56

the beach to run out screaming, you know what I

38:58

mean?

38:59

Like, I mean, if I was in Australia

39:02

and anyone started screaming at any

39:04

time, I would assume it was some type

39:06

of animal time.

39:09

Yeah, yeah, I mean hood

39:11

yet today, you wats being

39:13

killed by a kangaroo.

39:15

Than a shop I do.

39:20

I mean it has to depend

39:23

on where you're located, right, I

39:26

feel like I

39:28

think in Los Angeles, I have more chance of

39:30

being killed by a shark.

39:32

True, unless you're hanging out as one of

39:34

those animal sectuies. Was something that we has

39:36

Australian animals.

39:38

Yeah, but we do see a lot of viral

39:40

videos of like really buff kangaroos

39:43

being like what's up, bitch, what's up?

39:46

And like, so I've definitely been

39:49

made aware that they are violent. And

39:51

one was trying to drown a dog. Did you see

39:53

that? It was like a viral kangaroo's

39:57

trying to drown this guy's dog and he like fought

40:00

the kangaroo and people were like, you're

40:03

lucky you won that one.

40:07

Yeah, that is something I'm really scared

40:09

about. I've got an incipomeranian crush two

40:11

hour for an extra large on

40:14

my feelers. I hate leaving

40:16

him outside here, yeah, like

40:19

himself thanks

40:22

mainly?

40:23

Yeah, I don't know, but what a tail?

40:26

What a call? It's not the greatest

40:28

reception, I'll be honest.

40:30

Sorry I haven't told you the rest of the

40:32

blue.

40:33

Oh yeah, what happened to you? We paused it. You

40:35

were standing there screaming, running out of

40:37

the water with it wrapped around both of your legs.

40:40

Yeah, wrapped around bark of my legs, screaming,

40:43

running, I've untied my surfboard.

40:45

That's just gone.

40:46

I sorry,

40:53

go ahead, I'm

40:55

out trying.

40:56

To unwrap it, and it just keeps on singing

40:58

on, and I'm like, I just what to

41:00

do? So just all I can think about is getting

41:02

too fresh water? Okay, and like

41:05

a lifeguard who may have a medical kit,

41:08

because I don't know what it is at this point too, it

41:10

could be a deadly one. And

41:12

anyway I get it. I think I get it off, and

41:14

I'm just running up the beach, right up to the showers.

41:17

There's no first gug, there's no last get it

41:19

under the shower. The someone in front of me, I was like, oh

41:21

my god, bitch, please hurry out. I need

41:24

to get these legs out of the whole under the fresh

41:26

water. Well.

41:31

I don't know, I just it was like I needed cold

41:33

cold on it, cold

41:35

cold fresh water, you

41:38

know instinct that I felt that I needed.

41:40

And then.

41:42

I said to someone, no, you're local here, do.

41:44

You know what this would be.

41:46

I just got slung by something and he was like, oh

41:48

yeah, just a blue bottle. I just saw

41:50

a whole heap of them floating in, like

41:53

floating into sea, as if it was

41:55

just so normal, and I'm like on fire

41:58

from the inside out, can't explain and.

42:02

Were like.

42:05

Giggling, you know what to do, like yeah,

42:07

wheel me or like you

42:09

know that's the thing, you know. I don't know if you've heard

42:11

about that, but apparently that's how you can

42:13

treat something. Basically,

42:16

it wasn't no, I didn't have to do that,

42:18

but it's apparently hot water, hot fresh

42:20

water. So luckily I had a friend close

42:23

by had a hot shower under her show

42:25

for twenty minutes and help with the pain.

42:29

But then I was looking it up and apparently

42:31

there's twenty thousand things that get

42:33

reported every year and it's just a

42:35

right of passage for Australians to be done

42:37

by at least once live little wait.

42:39

I'm sorry, are you not Australian?

42:43

Yeh, i'd Australian.

42:45

You sound like a foreigner to your own land.

42:47

I mean that guy's like, yeah, I just saw heaps

42:49

of them coming in and you're like you're

42:52

not familiar with them, but he sounds

42:54

so familiar with them.

42:57

Yeah, I do, well.

42:59

I guess I don't know why I've

43:01

been lucky and avoided them all like no one kid,

43:03

I thought I was dying.

43:05

Right, It is ironic

43:07

that your instinct is cold water,

43:09

but what helps is hot water. Did it hurt?

43:12

Hell of bad?

43:14

Yeah, it's like putting hot and

43:16

the like the cadrat in the beach. Excruciating.

43:21

Yeah, I think I should

43:23

say able hospital. And now I know I would have

43:26

just been the lost and silk at the hospital if I had

43:28

arrived.

43:29

Yeah.

43:32

Anyway, well my

43:35

survival story, what a mess?

43:37

My god, my yeah,

43:41

ah yah.

43:43

It's time to say.

43:47

It's time to say.

44:08

Sounds like another eye that started

44:10

moving us quick?

44:15

Helloa, Chelsea,

44:21

Hey, Hi, how

44:24

are you?

44:37

My dog just started barking at that.

44:40

Cool.

44:41

Well, my dog started barking because my mom's about

44:43

to come home.

44:44

Oh.

44:52

I know.

44:53

That's how I feel about it too. So

44:55

I have a question.

44:59

What it's Oh

45:01

my god, hard in that. It's

45:05

like a coffee food test. Okay,

45:09

so lavender in

45:12

coffee, yes or no?

45:14

I like it?

45:17

Really?

45:20

I do you hate it?

45:21

I don't like it? I don't like it

45:23

in my coffee. But I like it and like cocktails,

45:27

lemonade like that kind of thing, but I don't like.

45:29

It in my coffee. Well, I

45:31

like a lavender latte. Now, they're not all

45:34

equal, they're not all created equal by

45:36

any means. But it's

45:38

like soap. No, not a good

45:40

one, but I do think not

45:43

a good one. It's more like just about switching

45:45

it up sometimes. And in my

45:47

goal to stain my teeth to be

45:50

absolutely looking like floorboards,

45:53

I need as many varietals

45:55

of coffee as I can get my hands on, or

45:57

my teeth on, as it were.

45:59

Your teeth and like the rest

46:01

of your mouth.

46:02

I guess, mm hmm. So

46:05

I'm gonna say good, Okay,

46:09

that's thanks for trying. I accept

46:12

that. Thank you. Oops.

46:14

I hung up. Hello

46:18

On, welcome to I'll

46:21

tell the Brede.

46:23

Day, Chelsea.

46:25

How are you? I'm good?

46:26

How are you?

46:27

Other topics I don't know.

46:30

Other topics today lavender

46:32

lattes, jellyfish attacks,

46:34

losing a tooth, and abusive

46:44

ooh lovers.

46:47

Mmm, I'll go with the first

46:50

topic.

46:51

Food test.

46:53

Yes, but if it's not too only if it's

46:55

not too sweet.

46:56

You're right. Bye

47:07

oh hello, Hello, Hello to

47:09

you, to you, Hello

47:12

to you? My friend?

47:18

Oh no, hello,

47:23

uh yeah, no,

47:28

I can't believe it's HILLI you What

47:30

are you talking about on the podcast today?

47:35

Oh?

47:35

Bears? No, no,

47:37

not bears. Is that a bear?

47:39

That was?

47:40

Yeah, but it's it's a decoy. We're not really

47:42

talking about bears. We're talking about a jellyfish

47:44

attack. Lavender lattes shitty.

47:47

Actually, Oh, I have opinions

47:49

about lavender lattes. A jellyfish

47:51

attack.

47:52

Yeah, why don't we do lavender lattes first?

47:54

Good or bad?

47:55

I say bad?

47:58

Right, Oh, you're wrong, They're

48:00

good.

48:01

Oh.

48:01

Well, the only lavender latte I've ever had is

48:03

a honey lavender latte, and that was too much?

48:06

Is Can you have a non honey lavender

48:08

latte?

48:09

Of course you can't, Okay,

48:12

I mean honey it's already sounding

48:14

too sweet.

48:15

Yeah, it was too much, So I guess

48:18

I should try a lavender, just

48:20

a straight up lavender latte.

48:21

You know what I'm really into right now? One

48:25

making oatmeal cookies. I

48:27

don't really like cookies that much, Yeah,

48:30

but I like a very healthy

48:33

oatmeal cookie. I also like a spiced

48:35

cookie, like a molasses gingery.

48:37

So Oh yeah, like a.

48:39

Chewy molasses cookie.

48:40

Yeah, so, and I love all like the Christmas

48:43

flavors. I got into Ponforte when

48:45

I was in London at Christmas because I think they're

48:48

they're closer to Italy. They get seems

48:50

to be way more interesting shit imported

48:53

from Italy there, So I tried

48:55

pontew about.

48:56

Have you had this Christmas cookie called, oh

49:00

gosh, what what's it called? It has like

49:02

an anis flavor?

49:04

Anish Santa's Anisus

49:09

cookies, Oh anus

49:11

cookies. What are they called Santa's?

49:15

I know them as spa.

49:17

Yeah, I've heard of those.

49:18

I've heard it, and they're very fancy.

49:21

I like.

49:22

I basically don't think I like a fancy cookie

49:24

because they have too much butter in them usually, Like I

49:27

like, I know you don't like butter. I don't.

49:29

I don't love it.

49:30

Okay, I have two lemon cookies that

49:32

are so good, but I know I

49:34

can't send them to because you can't eat those.

49:36

Well is it a short bread?

49:39

Well one is like a short bread but hear

49:41

me out.

49:44

That does sound kind of good, but I don't like short

49:47

bread. It's just like it's like eating

49:49

a slice of butter and flour. Like

49:52

it's too intense, it's

49:55

too much.

49:55

Okay. The other one is a very lemony,

49:58

very salty cookie.

50:00

Weird, weird?

50:02

Did you say salty very salty?

50:06

Well, maybe it's pretty

50:08

salty. It's like an ice box cookie.

50:10

Does it have does

50:12

it have filet of salt in it? You're

50:15

like, it's very lemony, very salty,

50:18

very capery. I'm like, are we

50:20

still talking about cookies?

50:23

But it does have a lot of butter, so you probably

50:25

wouldn't.

50:26

Be here's the so someone sent

50:28

me. Uh when I said I was looking

50:30

for healthy oat cookie recipes, Oh

50:33

yeah, someone sent me one. But I'm like, did

50:35

I do this wrong? Because it in no way resembled

50:37

a cookie batter When I was done, it

50:39

happened, it just had oats.

50:42

I cannot get comfortable. I need to reset

50:44

this whole studio. Okay, the

50:48

videos of it, I'm.

50:49

Not sure what's happening. What do you mean, well,

50:52

it seems like you're sitting very upright.

50:54

Well, what am I supposed to do? Lay down? I

50:56

should do that actually for an episode like

50:58

therapy episode ish, Yeah.

51:01

Maybe you should. Well, it's just like the thing

51:03

to see how it.

51:04

Changed the table is very low and

51:07

the back is really far, so I have no

51:09

way to like be comfortably sitting. It's

51:12

it's the kind of bad combo. Yeah,

51:14

it's like the kind of sacrifices that I make.

51:18

Okay, what about Wait, so the molasses

51:20

cookie was too healthy?

51:21

Hold on, it wasn't a molasses cookie.

51:23

What it was I'm

51:25

sorry?

51:26

Okay, So what it was was, oh god,

51:28

there's cords everywhere. Okay,

51:31

okay, that's the nightmare.

51:34

Okay, So what it was this is actually pretty

51:36

comfortable.

51:37

What it was.

51:40

What oats, maple syrup, olive

51:42

oil, o almond

51:45

flour, and

51:48

vanilla and I

51:51

I mean, I want to say am baking soda, but that was kind

51:53

of it. And it just didn't congeal. Yeah,

51:56

Like I'm like, where's the congealing

51:58

element because if you just no egg, no,

52:01

no egg. So I'm like, the only

52:03

moisture was olive oil

52:06

and vanilla. Know,

52:09

even milk or water nothing, no,

52:12

And even vegan cooking usually there's

52:14

like apple sauce or something to be or

52:17

flax to be like the egg substitute.

52:21

So what a wound up being was actually like

52:23

delicious, but it was more like a crumble that

52:25

you would want on top of something like yeah,

52:28

and then I altered it, which on top.

52:30

Of a pie.

52:31

I know you love a crumble on a pie.

52:33

No you don't usually. I just listened

52:36

to the last podcast that

52:38

Pie God, that was so good

52:41

in London, and just also now

52:43

I'm seeking Christmasy flavors year round.

52:45

Like someone I know had

52:47

a Christmas

52:50

themed birthday and I thought that is kind of genius,

52:53

like putt yeah, like put

52:55

Christmas lights on all your trees and

52:57

like wrap things in Christmas

52:59

things because you know how you're like always sad when the

53:01

lights go away. And then it's like, yes,

53:04

it just seems like a good idea. But anyway, Yeah,

53:07

I love clove nutmeg.

53:10

Oh yeah, sure, you can't go wrong.

53:12

Yeah.

53:12

I want a coconut popsicle.

53:14

Yeah they're good, but I'm not gonna go

53:17

crazy right now.

53:18

We just had dinner. Okay, coconut

53:20

popsicle? How about

53:22

goat cheese.

53:29

There was a delay because I

53:32

can't even see my iPad as I'm trying to

53:34

get comfortable in the most wretched ways, I look

53:36

like it. Oh God, an absolute

53:38

interloper.

53:40

I was putting goat cheese on my salad today.

53:42

And I was thinking that would be something if I ever gave

53:44

you a food quiz, I would ask you about goat

53:46

cheese.

53:46

Well, it depends. I mean, goat cheese

53:49

means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

53:52

I'll tell you the best goat cheese salad is

53:54

Chap Panese Cafe, shout

53:57

out to.

53:57

It's dream to try to get there someday.

54:00

Is that salad is so good. In in La,

54:02

they have this restaurant called Lulu and it's the same

54:06

Alice Waters restaurant. It's it's a different

54:08

restaurant, but the same goat cheese

54:10

salad, warm goat cheese, the

54:13

most beautiful lettuces with a perfect

54:15

vinegree and what kind of greens

54:17

does it go with it? It's just always

54:20

like farm fresh baby kind

54:22

of lettuces and stuff. And the goat cheese

54:24

is warm and kind of encased in

54:26

a very light little pillow

54:29

of crumbs.

54:30

Oh my gosh, that sounds incredible.

54:32

It's delicious. And their bread, yeah,

54:34

their bread is so good that you can kind of dip it. But

54:37

here's what I hate. That nineties

54:39

cheap ass goat cheese that comes in like

54:41

a plastic shrink wrap and you have to like

54:44

make little doukie like plumps

54:48

out of it, and it's like in little weird

54:51

blobs on your salad. That's not good.

54:53

I do like feta that sheep though,

54:56

Oh good, Yeah, a good

54:58

feta, But feta varies gre as

55:00

well.

55:01

Yes, but if you have to put

55:03

one on a salad, I guess you're gonna go a seta.

55:07

No.

55:09

This is the thing. This is why I have trouble

55:11

if I'm if I'm somewhere that food is mediocre,

55:14

I just don't really want to eat. You

55:16

can't, you know, like people are like whatever.

55:18

You just get like a basic ass like

55:20

a lot of diner. Well, actually some diner

55:22

food is amazing, but like if I had to eat Yeah,

55:26

but what if you had to eat a salad at a

55:28

diner.

55:28

Oh no, I mean you just have to know what to order.

55:30

Maybe yeah, in that situation.

55:33

But if it's that a diner is going to probably

55:35

be great, well, of course, yes,

55:38

yeah, for sure, for sure.

55:40

I was also thinking of you today because my daughter

55:43

was trying to draw hearts and I thought she had

55:45

a page full of hearts.

55:47

She's going to be gifted, I know.

55:50

Well, she was trying to figure out how to do it, and

55:52

she I mean it's kind of a tough thing to

55:55

draw right when you're little.

55:57

Oh yeah, you have to do it, and then you have

55:59

to do it. I'm like, is this a trick

56:01

question? Because I

56:04

wish it was harder.

56:05

Kept saying it's like a butt and then

56:07

two straight lines. Yeah, you

56:09

know, I got a little butt at the top, and then.

56:11

A the a button a badge.

56:13

Right that that was one way of putting

56:15

it, for sure.

56:16

But badge combo.

56:18

Mm hmmm.

56:21

It's a real honor to be able to talk to you. I just

56:23

did not think it was going to happen.

56:24

I know.

56:26

Wow, Well listen, the honor is all

56:28

mine. Imagine one day the calls don't come

56:30

in, Oh what a referendum.

56:33

It will never happen.

56:34

You never know, you never know. Look at

56:36

I always think of myself now as I'm getting

56:38

older, as you remember the Wrestler.

56:41

What was the Wrestler the movie The

56:44

Wrestler?

56:44

Oh yes, yes, yeah.

56:46

What was that guy's name? Not Nick? Not

56:49

Nicklty? I don't oh

56:52

yeah, Mickey Rourke. Like I feel like I'm like,

56:56

I feel like I'm Mickey Rourke.

56:58

No you're not.

57:00

No, no, way.

57:04

Oh.

57:04

I also listened to the last podcast

57:07

with that dog attack. Has there ever been any debrief

57:10

about that? That was one of the most inae things

57:12

I've ever.

57:13

Heard, I know. Can you imagine that lady

57:15

is a therapist, her best

57:17

friend in her

57:20

best friend is in a mental state in which

57:23

she allowed her dog to attack people,

57:25

not once, not twice.

57:27

Not like it does

57:30

go with the series where that I have

57:32

I have a large dog, you know, and so it's

57:34

like little dogs can

57:36

just get away with so much more stuff

57:39

than a big dog.

57:40

Well, you know, like pitball owners have been saying

57:42

that for years. They're like, it's not breed specific.

57:45

Aggression isn't free specific, And like in

57:47

my mind, I'm like, yeah, but like a little dog, you

57:49

can like kick it away from you or something. But

57:52

apparently not. Apparently

57:54

not because I.

57:56

Have a neighbor who has a little dog and

57:58

I'm over there a lot with my kids, and

58:00

her dog bites our children,

58:03

and it's it's an awkward situation because beyond

58:06

awkward, I think she should put her dog away

58:08

when people are over of course,

58:11

of course, and she had a baby. I don't

58:14

know what she's thinking, but yeah, they're just like

58:16

oh sorry, sorry, oh

58:19

sorry.

58:20

Now, when we got my dog, I was looking

58:22

at like his paperwork and it said he was a bite

58:24

risk or something, and I'm like what, Because

58:27

I have a small child, I'm like what. But you know,

58:29

he really isn't He doesn't really bite.

58:31

He just was like when we first got him,

58:33

he really was and this is what all the rescue people

58:35

say. He was really agitated and he was

58:38

like.

58:38

He was language resource

58:43

guard.

58:44

I mean, he's a bad dog, but

58:47

this dog truly is not a bad dog.

58:50

So it's like this fine line you got to dance

58:52

on where like he were we first

58:54

got him, he was a little nippy, but it

58:56

didn't feel like he was going to really sink his

58:58

teeth into you, like this wild savage

59:01

or he was like no, he was like three years

59:03

or four years old. I've gotten

59:06

varying accounts, but anyway, he was

59:08

like that. And the more he's been there, he's settled

59:10

down and.

59:11

He is like, let's see he's in a loving

59:13

environment.

59:14

Now I hold him like a little baby.

59:16

And I go, you know, but

59:19

what's the what's I don't know what the etiquette

59:21

is like if you're somewhere where a dog is nipping,

59:24

biting your kids.

59:25

Let him do it, Just let

59:27

him do it. Just let him do it, because that dog needs

59:29

to grow. You know, No,

59:32

of course I would. I mean, if anyone's dog

59:34

bit my fucking kid, are you kidding me? Kids

59:36

have tiny fingers.

59:38

But that's the thing.

59:40

It's like, Yeah, what's not bad?

59:42

I mean, like, I mean, I think

59:44

it's never drawn blood.

59:46

Okay, you're

59:50

like, that's because we wear my lar pants. Yeah.

59:53

She gives everyone like those

59:56

gun bulletproof aprons to wear

59:58

while they're they're I don't go to the floor.

1:00:00

Yeah.

1:00:01

That world with dog ownership.

1:00:04

Truly, it's a dark and it's a serious

1:00:06

and it's a beautiful and it's a wonderful,

1:00:09

mixed up, crazy old dog world.

1:00:15

You did it again, dogs

1:00:24

and dogs. I love dogs, dogs.

1:00:31

It's really crazy. I also have coffee cranking

1:00:33

through my sister's my ringtone. I don't know if that's

1:00:35

legal.

1:00:36

We've run our course. I

1:00:39

have to go, Oh

1:00:43

ship, how how far into the podcast

1:00:46

are we at this point? What time are we at?

1:00:48

Oh?

1:00:48

God, we should be read. We

1:00:53

should one wrapping it up?

1:00:55

Hi.

1:00:57

This is like when I used to do stand up and I'd

1:00:59

be headlining and you're like, uh, looking at

1:01:01

the clock. Okay, once you hit forty five

1:01:03

minutes, You're like, you're right, I could.

1:01:06

I legally could end it here if I wanted.

1:01:09

But then there's the male bravado. You're like, I gotta

1:01:11

do a five hour set like Cosby,

1:01:13

one of the cleanest comics of all

1:01:15

time. All right,

1:01:20

how'd that work out?

1:01:21

Right?

1:01:22

All right?

1:01:23

What works?

1:01:24

Talk to me?

1:01:26

I'm currently at work, I'm

1:01:29

currently on my brain, and

1:01:35

oh, do you want to know what I mean?

1:01:37

Yeah?

1:01:37

I guess so, Yeah,

1:01:39

I guess you don't have a choice. I've got white

1:01:42

rice, and on top of the white rice, I've got zucchini,

1:01:45

and I've got chale with some

1:01:47

salt, with some pepper, with

1:01:49

some.

1:01:53

Okay, I mean, do you think

1:01:56

I'm trying to imagine how those two things marry

1:01:58

to each other? Because zucchini

1:02:01

and kale. It's not like it's a saucy thing

1:02:03

for the rice, you.

1:02:04

Know, no, not at all.

1:02:06

But it sounds like you put a bit of a vinaigrette on

1:02:08

there, which I do apploud, I do like,

1:02:11

but you know, it sounds like you're in like macrobiotic

1:02:16

eating minus the brown rice.

1:02:19

Yeah, what is microbiotic, macrobiotic.

1:02:23

I don't know what the hell microbiotic eating

1:02:25

is. Maybe it's a tiny amount. We're

1:02:29

having fun. Where do you work?

1:02:32

Yeah, I

1:02:34

work at Blue Lemon.

1:02:41

I hate Lulu Lemon.

1:02:45

You do you do?

1:02:52

No?

1:02:52

Actually, I'm trying to think if I ever ordered

1:02:54

it. I don't know if I have or not. Now,

1:02:57

what do you do there? Size people?

1:02:58

Well, yeah, that's one of the job. I'm

1:03:02

just on the I'm just on the sales floor.

1:03:04

So you're just folding laggings until you

1:03:06

want to blow your absolute brains out.

1:03:09

That's actually in the job description.

1:03:13

Yeah, yeah,

1:03:15

that's exactly what I do. And

1:03:17

then I deal with rude people

1:03:20

usually, Oh my.

1:03:21

God, what is the average Lulu Lemon

1:03:23

customer? Like, I mean, first of all, let me guess

1:03:26

blonde, high percentage of blonds.

1:03:28

I want to say correct

1:03:31

so far, patit. I want to say both

1:03:33

skinny and short women love

1:03:36

Lululemon. Correct,

1:03:40

sinewy, like you

1:03:43

know, makeup

1:03:45

lists. I feel like a lot of leg Oh

1:03:48

no, a lot of makeup. It's

1:03:51

like Instagram.

1:03:52

Yeah, usually done

1:03:54

up. Like usually

1:03:58

here's the demographic nary

1:04:00

high school girls, size

1:04:03

zero, size two, And then you'll get like

1:04:07

the absolute yoga heads, and

1:04:09

then you'll get sixty

1:04:11

to seventy year olds just wanting

1:04:13

to be comfortable.

1:04:14

Sure, sure, where

1:04:17

do I wand where do I

1:04:19

fit in? I'm not in your demo?

1:04:22

I mean why not? But you know, if someone

1:04:24

walks in who's not a size two?

1:04:26

Are you?

1:04:27

Like?

1:04:27

Let me see? If you start moving boxes around,

1:04:30

You're like, I know, I know we have

1:04:32

a six, or we might

1:04:34

have an eight. That's our xx. Helly, let

1:04:37

me look, let me move some boxes broadstand

1:04:40

right there?

1:04:40

Hold on, let's go to the attic. Yeah, you

1:04:43

know, we we carry

1:04:46

we they say they're inclusive styling

1:04:48

or they have inclusive sizing, which

1:04:50

in store, we go up, we

1:04:54

go up to a size twelve in our

1:04:56

store. But

1:04:59

the the perception up

1:05:02

yep, yep, keep it coming. The

1:05:05

perception is that we it stopped it like

1:05:07

an eight.

1:05:09

That's the perception. What the

1:05:11

fuck? What are you talking about if

1:05:14

you go up to a twelve? Why is that the perception?

1:05:16

Because the brand of Lululemon

1:05:19

is skinny, huh.

1:05:21

Like, the branding is such that people

1:05:24

don't even expect there will be a twelve

1:05:26

there.

1:05:27

Correct. Yeah, they'll come in and they'll be like this

1:05:30

company isn't for me?

1:05:32

Right, and they turn on their twelve size

1:05:35

twelve heel and march out

1:05:38

fact fact. Well

1:05:41

so cool.

1:05:43

Well here's the question. Do you have any Lemon

1:05:45

products?

1:05:46

I don't think I do.

1:05:49

M I think you be a store.

1:05:51

I don't think I have. I doesn't.

1:05:53

I think I did walk in one time and

1:05:56

then walked out on my heel. I

1:05:59

think that I I've ordered stuff

1:06:02

off Alo

1:06:05

Yoga. Is that

1:06:07

how you pronounce it? Allow?

1:06:09

There, it's

1:06:12

a copy brand. I've ordered

1:06:14

from them. I've ordered from them. I have been

1:06:16

susceptible to Instagram ads, and I have to

1:06:18

say that Lululemon does

1:06:20

not really pop up in my Instagram

1:06:23

ads.

1:06:24

They don't. They don't. Do you like your Alo

1:06:26

products?

1:06:27

Mm?

1:06:29

Some of them are better than others. I

1:06:31

will say this was I did a lot of like pelotoning

1:06:35

and ordering of exercise clothes during

1:06:37

the pandemic, and it's

1:06:40

better to try them on understood.

1:06:43

A lot of them are not

1:06:46

my go tos.

1:06:49

Did you like your peloton topic change?

1:06:53

I do, but honestly, I've

1:06:55

completely fallen off the spin aspect

1:06:57

of it. I like the

1:07:00

weight training, yoga classes, stretching

1:07:02

classes, all the matt ones where you sort of spin

1:07:04

your screen and do them.

1:07:06

Wait, how do you watch those? Do you watch them on

1:07:09

the bike screen or is that the separate device.

1:07:11

It's a bike screen, but it spins it pivots.

1:07:15

Oh my gosh, I didn't even know that.

1:07:17

Yeah, that's a new thing.

1:07:19

That's pretty cool.

1:07:20

Yeah, I mean I feel like the no,

1:07:23

please go, I'm really quad dominant.

1:07:27

So what I've learned is that as

1:07:30

I'm working out doing strength training and

1:07:32

things like that, I'm learning

1:07:34

that my quads tend to take over a

1:07:37

lot of times.

1:07:40

Yeah.

1:07:41

So anyway, I noticed when I was doing paloton

1:07:44

my quads were absolutely ripped, but I

1:07:46

felt like my ass got flat.

1:07:48

Okay, oh interesting, I think

1:07:50

I can relate. I don't have an ass.

1:07:54

Why do you spin a lot? I

1:07:58

do?

1:07:58

I don't. I want to say a lot. I spend

1:08:00

probably once a week. Yeah, big

1:08:03

yoga guy, big

1:08:05

runner, big runner. And

1:08:08

yeah, there's just not there's not a lot happening

1:08:10

back there.

1:08:10

And that's okay.

1:08:12

Yeah, I mean, you know, I think you

1:08:14

just got to get into squats and stuff like that.

1:08:18

Which that does.

1:08:20

That sounds as far away as a

1:08:23

fun time.

1:08:23

Is as I can really imagine and

1:08:26

you say this working at Lululemon. No,

1:08:28

I I think that you could

1:08:31

do squats at work because

1:08:33

it's it's work appropriate. It's like on top

1:08:39

you can do like walls sitting, you

1:08:42

know where you sit and

1:08:44

squats.

1:08:44

Well sits they have weights on our ankles.

1:08:47

Yeah, yeah, you

1:08:50

know what I'm gonna do. Though, I'm gonna beat

1:08:52

Lululemon in every mention in

1:08:55

this call, because yeah, I don't want to do a.

1:08:57

Good Yeah that's good, that's good.

1:09:00

Yeah, I respect it. I

1:09:04

mean, this is so

1:09:06

lou Lemon of me to say, but I think you should try

1:09:08

a pair of blu Lemon like you do.

1:09:10

What's so good about them?

1:09:14

I have tried them

1:09:16

on okay, and

1:09:18

although they are not made for the

1:09:23

they are made for my physique. They are

1:09:25

extremely soft, they're extremely

1:09:27

stretchy. They have a good

1:09:29

reputation for durability if

1:09:32

you take care of them. These people are

1:09:34

putting them in their dryers and blasting them

1:09:36

really their fire, fire heat,

1:09:39

and then they just they just dissolve over

1:09:41

time.

1:09:42

They just Oh I thought you were going to say they were

1:09:44

fine in the dryer. That was going to be a sign. No,

1:09:46

no, no, cool?

1:09:51

What else.

1:09:51

Can we say that's that's

1:09:53

all I've got. It's lovely,

1:09:56

chatty.

1:09:56

Yes, I want you to enjoy that kale

1:09:59

and zucchini. Would

1:10:01

you call that a goulash?

1:10:03

I just call it mush. It

1:10:07

doesn't look very good, but it's gonna

1:10:09

do what it needs to do keep

1:10:12

you fit. Yeah,

1:10:14

just just keep me going.

1:10:16

What do you think about or

1:10:18

Brown Rice?

1:10:21

I like king wa and Brown writes.

1:10:23

Do you want me to choose one?

1:10:24

No, I'm not gonna

1:10:27

put you in that Sophie's choice.

1:10:29

I like both. I would I think I would choose

1:10:32

Keen wah over if you were asking,

1:10:34

but you're not. But I'm just telling you.

1:10:37

Okay, Well,

1:10:39

thank you. I appreciate you.

1:10:41

I am.

1:10:42

I was actually just about to wrap up the show.

1:10:45

So don't feel bad if like this

1:10:48

call didn't have the energy you

1:10:50

were expecting. It's on me, not

1:10:54

your fault. My fault will

1:10:56

gussie it out and it'll be great.

1:10:59

Okay, you know, don't

1:11:01

be too hard on yourself. I called earlier,

1:11:03

you didn't a answer, so I was like, hey, I'm on my

1:11:05

break, I'm gonna call.

1:11:06

I appreciate it. It's an honor to spend

1:11:08

your break with you. Okay, gosh,

1:11:11

like Lee, g all

1:11:14

right to Lum's

1:11:17

love Fou child for now. Hi,

1:11:21

this is the last call of the episode. Last

1:11:24

call of the episode.

1:11:27

Oh my god, I

1:11:40

have a story about my car.

1:11:47

I don't know if I'm actually talking to you or if this is

1:11:49

a voicemail you're talking?

1:11:51

Oh, Hi, I love you. Okay.

1:11:54

So I have been

1:11:57

driving for about fifteen years. I drive

1:11:59

a the Spark and

1:12:01

I've gotten a total of ten speeding tickets.

1:12:07

Chevy Spark I haven't even heard of. But

1:12:09

that's such a funny name.

1:12:12

It looks like a little bit bigger version

1:12:14

than a smart car.

1:12:18

Okay, so very parkable.

1:12:21

Yeah, ye, oh my god, stories, you

1:12:23

just got a bunch of tickets.

1:12:26

Yeah, ten speeding tickets in my lifetime.

1:12:30

That wait, so what happens there? Because don't

1:12:32

you have to go to traffic school for a speeding ticket?

1:12:35

Yeah?

1:12:35

So I actually got my license suspended

1:12:37

when I was like seventeen.

1:12:39

Oh my god, it's like a damn

1:12:43

yeah, and then made

1:12:45

it back.

1:12:48

So they took it away for like a half a year, and

1:12:51

I just had to like have my mom drop me off at

1:12:53

places. This is when I was young at the

1:12:56

time, my mom was around.

1:12:57

To do that, and then I

1:13:00

got it back.

1:13:01

I did have to go.

1:13:02

I think I did have to take an online test to

1:13:04

get it back.

1:13:07

Okay, well, congratulations, thank

1:13:10

you.

1:13:10

Yeah, I mean I know that you like to talk about

1:13:12

Honda's being crazy, but watch out for shabby

1:13:15

sparks.

1:13:16

Okay, I will, okay,

1:13:20

all right, well, thank you, thank

1:13:22

you.

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