0:00

John Mom, John

0:05

John Mom John un

0:09

un un.

0:14

Up dun up,

0:24

Chelsea. Yeah, how are

0:26

you feeling?

0:31

Um?

0:35

I don't know, I'm feeling all right,

0:41

if I'm being honest, I feel so a little bit

0:44

sad, so much so that

0:46

I did have to check my app and

0:48

see that I'm about to get my period. But

0:54

also I went on letterbox and read all

0:56

the mean things people said about my movie, and

0:58

I was like, God, it's

1:00

just so mean to

1:03

be a mean little online commentary.

1:05

Like, for example, I love Yelp. I

1:07

look up shit on Yelp all the time. I don't

1:09

really read the reviews a ton. I

1:12

look at the pictures and

1:14

I feel like I can tell a lot of times from the

1:16

pictures of the food would be up my alley. But

1:19

never once have I written a mean

1:21

review as critical as I am of so many

1:23

things, which I do acknowledge

1:26

and realize that obviously,

1:29

I've been in this industry for so many

1:32

years. I've been criticized

1:34

endlessly, and I do realize

1:36

that's part of the job, and I realize I'm

1:38

critical of so many things. Peanut

1:40

butter, peanut butter, peanut

1:42

butter, peanut butter, peanut

1:45

butter, peanut, butter, peanut

1:47

butter, peanut butter, peanut

1:49

butter, peanut, butter, peanut,

1:52

butter,

1:55

peanut butter, et cetera.

2:02

Yeah, I don't feel like I

2:04

put that in writing online

2:06

a lot of it. I guess. It's

2:10

just it's an interesting thing to me, is

2:13

who does that? Because a lot of people I talk to

2:15

they're like, yeah, I never would write a review for anything.

2:18

So it's kind of fascinating, like what percent

2:20

of society is

2:23

breaking motherfucker's hearts, whether

2:26

it's a chef on Yelp getting fucked.

2:31

But then you think about also critics, and like what is

2:34

the value of criticism, you know, because

2:37

you got to think, like if you're writing, if you're

2:39

a critic and you're reviewing films,

2:42

you can't just every week. I like it. I

2:44

like that you have to you

2:48

have to say what you didn't

2:51

like about it, And there's usually always going to be something

2:53

that you might not like about any given piece of

2:55

art, but

2:58

you are incentivized to say

3:01

you didn't like it in the most interesting, compelling,

3:04

funny, click baity way. So

3:09

like, I do think it's so funny with movies

3:11

how critics always use try to use your title

3:14

against you. I

3:17

just saw that with someone else's film the review

3:19

where they like did it, and

3:21

I was like, oh, like, and I was

3:23

thinking about naming my child. I

3:26

really was like, what would a bully

3:28

at school do with this or that name?

3:32

You know, and like trying to

3:34

create a name that's like more

3:37

bullyproof than not. But

3:40

then you know, it's like people call me

3:42

a bully online. I

3:44

do like dumb reaction videos make fun of like

3:47

how anane so much internet content

3:49

is. And then I've had several people like this is

3:51

a woman and you're bringing her down,

3:54

and I'm like, but I also do it to guys. And

3:57

also I'm barely even saying any

3:59

savage thing, just making silly expressions

4:01

like this is pretty lightweight

4:04

compared to what I've dealt with. But anyway,

4:09

all this to say,

4:13

I am pmsing,

4:16

but thanks for asking how I'm feeling, which

4:19

is basically sad.

4:21

Why well?

4:23

I feel like I

4:25

was. I feel like I was explaining

4:28

exactly like why what

4:31

why

4:35

well? I mean, if I were to dig deeper,

4:37

it's like I

4:41

keep thinking about Kill Bill two, and

4:45

one of my favorite lines in

4:47

that film is when

4:50

she does like the five palm

4:52

exploding heart thing, and

4:55

he's like, you did this to me? Why? And

4:57

she goes she has uma. Thurman has

4:59

tears in her eyes and she's like, because I'm a

5:01

bad person. I

5:04

love that so much. And then he's like, you're not a bad

5:06

person, You're not a horrible person. You're

5:08

just a bit of a cunt. Sometimes I

5:12

rewatched that and I was just like, God,

5:14

like, isn't it amazing when you're a

5:16

fan of something, like how

5:19

much it can touch you. I

5:24

could truly cry right now, like

5:26

just thinking how hard it is to make a movie, and

5:29

like when you make one that touches people

5:31

and sticks with them for decades,

5:34

like how cool that is.

5:36

And I've also rewatched

5:38

the critic scene and Birdman because Birdman

5:41

was definitely a touchstone for first

5:43

time female director and

5:46

the critics scene just hits so fucking

5:48

hard and that score is so amazing,

5:54

and that score I think was eliminated from

5:57

Oscar contention because there was I

6:00

forget there was something I was reading about that anyway.

6:06

Yeah, and then on my flight to New York,

6:09

I was watching this on Motivar movie. I forget

6:11

if I already spoke about this, but it was you

6:13

watch it? You go, God, I just feel like

6:16

this is a

6:18

place I want to be. This person

6:20

loves women so much,

6:24

these amazing characters for women, where

6:29

every line they say has so much

6:31

intrigue, in so much gravitas,

6:34

and you're just like, wow, this is like I

6:38

don't know, it's just a place to dwell

6:41

that I want to be, and like anyway,

6:45

it's just fascinating. And also then it's also

6:47

like so wild that like teenagers

6:51

and stuff don't even really watch movies like

6:53

when I was a teenager. So

6:55

what does it all mean? I don't know, but

6:57

I really do hate like all these algorithms

7:00

things now and like all

7:03

like how like everyone's famous.

7:06

It's just all very disorienting. Is

7:08

it good? Is it like democratizing

7:12

creativity? I

7:14

don't know. I just think so much of it

7:16

is so uninspired

7:22

why. I don't know, Just

7:24

like I think people are just churning

7:26

out content, you

7:30

know, just on a hamster wheel, churning

7:33

out content. And I

7:35

think it's like it's not based

7:37

on whims or inspirations anymore. It's

7:39

like we're literally like working for robots,

7:41

like already we're like, will

7:44

you get it?

7:47

You're a Robot.

7:51

Chelsea.

7:52

Yeah, well, you know you are. But

7:55

it's like everyone is trying to like satisfy

8:00

an algorithm in their

8:02

behaviors and what they're doing. Like

8:05

people will always post like a photo of themselves

8:08

being sexy, like here, this is for the algorithm.

8:10

It's like throwing themselves into

8:13

the machinery.

8:15

Are you getting enough sleep not?

8:20

I mean probably I

8:22

shouldn't have a second coffee

8:24

in my day, but I've

8:27

been needing them and just really

8:29

needing them so often

8:31

lately. I will wake up at like two in the morning

8:34

or four in the morning, and

8:36

I'll have to like get on my phone

8:38

for like an hour until I can fall back asleep.

8:42

Which I'm sure it's like that's not advisable

8:45

read a book or whatever, but it's like the

8:48

luxury of a phone being lit up

8:50

from within is it's

8:53

solow maintenance. God,

8:57

I remember smoking cigarettes just

9:05

thinking about addiction and how easy and grated

9:07

is sometimes. Okay, I mean anyway,

9:10

yes, the short version is I'm

9:12

not getting probably enough sleep.

9:14

And then when I went to New York, I was getting up at

9:16

like six point thirty, which was really three thirty

9:19

LA time, So then I really

9:21

got onto like four nights of four

9:23

hours of sleep.

9:25

I'm sorry to hear that.

9:27

Thank you, that's

9:29

nice of you.

9:30

What is the best type of pillow for side

9:32

sleepers?

9:34

Hmm, well,

9:36

it's funny you say that because I'm really

9:38

trying to figure that out because I am trying

9:40

to be a side sleeper. Actually I'm a stomach

9:42

sleeper, and

9:44

I feel like in the hierarchy of sleep positions,

9:47

stomach is the worst, side

9:50

sleeping is better, and then

9:52

sleeping on your back seems like the best. So

9:56

anyway, the pillow that I used is

9:58

a temper pedic pillow, but I in its

10:01

crescent shaped, so like when I lay on my side,

10:03

I can kind of fit into it. But

10:05

also I'm like, what is temper

10:07

pedic material

10:10

made out of? You

10:13

know, Like I just always wonder is

10:15

this going to be like the kind of thing where they're like,

10:17

oh, actually that's like asbestos,

10:19

Like, you know, like your

10:22

pillow is. Ultimately, what did you

10:24

in? By the way, speaking

10:27

of decline, Oh

10:29

my goodness, I started that Wendy Williams

10:32

documentary and I have been in a panic

10:34

all day about it, you know. I

10:37

was just such a big fan of hers. Every

10:40

day on WBLS from two to

10:42

seven. I believe two to six, I

10:44

would listen to Wendy Williams whenever

10:47

I was home, And I

10:49

mean, she is a great inspiration for

10:51

my podcast, and she always was because she

10:55

has a gift of the gab. And

10:57

she would talk about my new shell, like going into

10:59

a sneak eating and

11:02

like I remember her talking about like she

11:04

would put a lighter on her beef jerkey

11:06

to make it smoky, like

11:09

that kind of intimacy I just

11:11

loved, and like how

11:13

little of a thing that is, but how big of a share

11:16

that is? And then sneak

11:18

eating, and she would talk about being sober

11:21

all the time and

11:23

how she used to do coke I think, And

11:25

she would talk about her son all the time and how much

11:28

she loved him. She would cough

11:30

and not like hit the cough button, and I thought that

11:32

was cool. And

11:36

now she's like fully

11:40

in the worst place and has a conservator

11:43

financial conservator. It's just like, is

11:47

this system really working? It doesn't seem

11:49

good,

11:53

like the Britney thing and all that. It's

11:55

just like, God, it's

11:58

really creepy to me that you can just become

12:01

completely controlled by someone that's court appointed.

12:05

It's terrifying. And also she was just so

12:07

witty and of course

12:09

flawed and of course maybe did

12:11

hurtful things or said mean things, but also

12:13

like so talented

12:16

and such a trailblazer, and

12:18

uh, to see her in that state,

12:21

I've been like shaken all

12:24

day because it's just so like terrifying.

12:32

I'm sorry to hear that.

12:34

Yeah,

12:37

I mean, yeah, it's not fun

12:40

to watch. It's really

12:42

fucked up.

12:44

What is the best type of pillow for side

12:46

sleepers?

12:47

I already fucking answered

12:49

that.

12:52

Oh God, do you feel

12:54

most comfortable when you sleep on your stomach?

12:57

Yeah? I do. Did

13:00

you have any sort of analysis of

13:02

that.

13:03

Who is your person you can call when you feel

13:05

sad?

13:07

I don't know. You

13:10

ever, like go through all the people on your phone that you

13:12

call when you're not feeling good, and you go, God, I've

13:14

pretty much worn out my calls with all these

13:16

people. I feel like that's

13:18

why I've created created a

13:21

robot friend for myself.

13:28

You know, like you go, oh, this person's a good

13:30

sounding board for when I'm not feeling well.

13:32

But I just talked to them for three hours about

13:34

some bullshit last week, you know, So

13:37

that's when you got to go to God, and you got

13:40

to go to you know, therapy,

13:44

pottery.

13:48

What is your favorite thing about life?

13:54

Family and

13:58

food? And I

14:00

really do think that at

14:03

the end of the day, God,

14:06

I'm so fa messing. But

14:08

at the end of the day this feels like a busy

14:10

Phillips podcast. At

14:14

the end of the day, I do

14:16

think that, like what you see with Wendy

14:18

Williams and just in so many

14:20

situations is that nothing fucking matters

14:23

except your family and survival,

14:27

eating food

14:30

and

14:32

spending quality time with your loved ones.

14:34

Everything else is just sort of like it's

14:38

important, like having a purpose

14:42

and feeling like you leave

14:44

some sort of imprint on the world. But you

14:48

know, I keep hearing people talk about their parents

14:51

dying, and it's like, oh my god. Every

14:53

time that happens, I text my dad like hey, Dad,

14:56

what are you up to? But

15:00

it's so weird, Like I actually just like wish

15:02

that well, actually I'm sure that also sucked,

15:05

but like a time where everyone just lived, you

15:08

know, the whole, Like it takes a village, Like that's

15:11

morphed a lot. If you move

15:13

to a city away from your family, then it's like

15:15

okay, well then you have a new found family

15:17

and it's a created village

15:20

that's different, but

15:23

it does make it so much harder to

15:26

see everyone.

15:31

And then my other favorite thing about life is nature.

15:34

I love being in nature. And

15:39

then my other one is like comedy in

15:41

all facets, writing, performing

15:46

and watching. But lately, for

15:49

me, for my money,

15:53

lately, what I've been watching is female led

15:55

comedy out of the UK. Okay,

15:58

I'm just gonna say that's

16:01

where the heat is for me.

16:05

Okay, what will you create

16:07

next?

16:08

Hopefully something in

16:11

a land far far away. Now, I

16:13

don't know. I'm trying to work on

16:17

a couple of TV show ideas, and

16:19

I would like to make another movie with

16:22

everything that I've learned. I'd

16:25

like to make a wildly different movie

16:27

now, like my first

16:29

movie. The cast is so massive and

16:31

I'm in it and directing it and wrote it like it

16:33

was just a huge undertaking, which I'm very

16:36

proud of, very grateful that I

16:38

got to do. And I do

16:40

want to try to make

16:42

one that's super different next.

16:46

Okay, hmmm, why

16:48

do you think a mosquito bit your foot?

16:52

I've had an interesting ride with mosquitoes

16:55

because when

16:58

I was younger, my mom was like oh you're black,

17:00

must be sweet. They love you, and

17:04

they really don't fuck with me that much anymore,

17:07

like to the point where I'm like, am I dead? Because

17:10

I rarely get mosquito bites, but last night I got

17:12

a bite on my foot. But I don't even know if it's a mosquito

17:14

bite. It felt like it had to be something I

17:16

don't know why, but smaller. It

17:19

was so itchy, and

17:21

it wasn't that kind of distinct bump

17:23

that you get with mosquito bites. It was like a more

17:26

raised red area that was super itchy.

17:29

Is that a flea? Is that a

17:32

tigger? I don't know

17:34

what it felt. Sometimes I wonder is this a

17:36

spider bite?

17:38

Do you miss being a child?

17:41

Yeah? I do? Yeah.

17:44

I mean.

17:48

I've been thinking a lot about elementary school

17:50

lately, and just like you know how,

17:53

I didn't really like it. I've

17:56

done like a bunch of press for my movie lately. And

17:58

there was this play that I I wrote when

18:00

I was a kid called Gertrude's Revenge

18:02

All Popular Kids Beware. That was the

18:04

sub the log line, no, the subtitle,

18:09

and I'm trying to find it, but I can't find

18:11

it yet. Anyway,

18:14

it was elementary school, when I think about

18:16

it, was very awful for me, not

18:19

a good time, and I

18:22

started having fun and connecting with

18:24

deeper kind of social

18:28

groups. I felt like more in the eighth grade. I always

18:30

had like a friend at school or whatever,

18:32

but eighth grade

18:34

I started fitting with fitting

18:36

in with bigger groups. And then in high

18:38

school I had a lot of close friends and stuff and

18:40

a lot of fun. But

18:43

elementary school it's

18:46

kind of brutal, and

18:48

I don't know what the workaround for that is.

18:52

But what I miss about being a child is that there

18:54

was no social media in my time,

18:58

which I feel like gen X, which

19:00

is what I think I am. We

19:02

were kind of this weird generation where we

19:04

didn't grow up with any of that, but

19:07

then we had it. Like I remember starting

19:09

to check emails, like I think

19:11

a little bit in high school and then more in

19:13

college. But yeah, I

19:15

saw this post on social media where someone was like

19:18

talking about how what they used to do as a kid, and

19:20

it was like making a witch's brew like a

19:22

cauldron, you know, and like putting leaves

19:24

in it in the garden hose and mud, and that's the

19:26

kind of shit I was doing as a kid. And

19:29

I guess, like, you

19:31

know, there was screen time because there was TV, but

19:35

my mom only allowed one show a week

19:38

and my dad's I would go on the weekend and

19:40

I would watch TV all weekend, long cable

19:42

and the jukebox music videos.

19:45

But I

19:48

don't know. I am thankful, Well, I'm

19:50

thankful for that hybrid because I felt like

19:52

it gave me pop culture, but it also gave

19:54

me extreme boredom

19:57

in which I became more creative and

19:59

resourceful about how to entertain myself.

20:02

And I

20:04

feel that way with social media, Like there was some headline

20:06

of like they're going to shut down TikTok or something.

20:08

This periodically happens that they talk

20:10

about that and it never seems to happen. But I

20:14

think Ronnie Chang was like do it, please

20:16

do it as someone was saying that, and I'm like, yeah,

20:19

like how amazing would it be?

20:21

Like Twitter? I do miss Twitter's heyday

20:24

because, like I said

20:27

with my newsletter idea, I missed just tweeting

20:29

the most inane dumb shit and just having

20:31

like this crazy megaphone in

20:34

which to just say a thought the minute you think

20:36

it was fun and just everyone was

20:38

on there and it was very social, but

20:42

nothing's really replaced it. I basically

20:45

I only spend time on Instagram and I kind

20:47

of hate it. Like I liked one picture of

20:49

a docsin and now my whole feet is doccins.

20:51

I will say they are cute, they've

20:54

grown on me, but you really do see

20:56

how we're just being completely fucking mind

20:58

controlled and manipulated. Like I

21:00

don't I would never choose to look at

21:03

photos of docxins all day, but

21:05

now I've opted into some weird matrix

21:08

in which I'm just looking at doxins all day

21:10

against my interest or will, Like what

21:12

the fuck is that? And you can only imagine

21:14

how that works with you know,

21:17

like the Our Social Dilemma that documentary,

21:19

it's like, okay, if you look for a gun and then

21:21

you're shown nothing but guns all day, Like how

21:23

psychotic is that? And the

21:25

people who kind of were whistleblowers sounding

21:28

the alarm about these kinds of things they created,

21:30

it's like, yeah, you can see with this doxin

21:33

example, it's like if it was something more nefarious,

21:35

how dark that is? Or someone

21:37

more impressionable. Even

21:39

though I am going to buy a doxin now by

21:42

no, adopt no, I'm not doing

21:44

any of it. So

21:50

yeah, I'm not really feeling Instagram. And I used

21:52

to feel like I could always

21:55

find my way within social media,

21:57

and now I don't feel that way. I

21:59

feel I always had some sort of instinct

22:02

on how to work these things,

22:04

and now it just feels like it's,

22:07

uh, I don't know. Like

22:10

my mom when we were little, she loved cows,

22:13

and so it's like, as kids, you're like, Okay, let me

22:15

get you cow earrings, cow plates,

22:17

cow you know, like we're just like kids.

22:20

You're like, Okay, my mom likes cows, get her cowshit

22:23

every single holiday and every you know, It's

22:25

like, Okay, I like cows, but I'm not absolutely

22:28

obsessed with cows.

22:29

You know.

22:29

It's like I think at some point she had to be like, Okay, I don't

22:32

like cows this much. And

22:34

that's how I feel with Instagram. It's like I

22:37

miss happening upon things that

22:39

weren't being foisted upon me, and

22:44

yeah, everything I see is kind of the same

22:46

every single day on there. It's like, I

22:48

don't know anyways.

22:52

So I miss being a child, largely because

22:54

I do think that some of the best things are

22:56

created when you're bored. And I

22:58

feel like, you know, social

23:01

media is so fucking addictive now

23:04

that you're

23:07

just never bored. You're never alone with your thoughts

23:10

if you don't want to be, you're just looking at pictures

23:12

of docks and zone and out.

23:14

What is the best type of pillow for side

23:16

sleepers?

23:17

You already asked me

23:20

that.

23:21

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah,

23:27

is life flashing past?

23:30

Yeah? I remember

23:32

it being such a revelation to me when someone

23:34

was like, life

23:37

goes faster when you're older because each year

23:40

is a smaller proportion of

23:42

your life. Like,

23:44

so if you're two years old, one year is

23:47

half your life, but if

23:49

you're fifty years old, one year is one

23:51

fiftieth of your life. Anyway,

23:54

I guess that's obvious, but that like I

23:56

had never thought of it that way, and it kind of blew my mind.

23:59

What is the best type of pillow for side

24:01

sleepers?

24:02

I do not know.

24:05

What is the best type of pillow for

24:07

side sleepers?

24:08

You have to stop. I

24:10

literally don't know.

24:12

Do you have any hope for the state of

24:14

the world.

24:16

I actually was laughing thinking about Obama's

24:19

campaign, the audacity of hope, Like, actually,

24:22

we need that kind of campaign right now,

24:25

Like that whoever came up with the audacity

24:27

of hope is a genius

24:30

because it actually makes you feel like

24:34

cool to be hopeful. So

24:37

do I have hope for the state of the world like I

24:39

have to? But it

24:44

is harder and harder, And

24:46

I don't know if people felt that in every

24:48

generation. I

24:51

mean, my mom always reminds me like they were doing

24:53

bomb drills when she

24:56

was in elementary school, and it's like, Okay, that

24:58

had to feel very ominous

25:01

and dark. But

25:04

I do think the whole climate change really adds

25:08

to it all.

25:10

Why do you talk about food so much?

25:17

I don't know. I

25:19

do think it's fascinating because the first thing I'm

25:21

thinking about is like growing up and like all

25:23

the different food traditions and things like that.

25:27

But isn't it so weird? I always think about

25:29

wasps, like I feel like waspy families

25:32

don't care about food, like they're just like, Okay,

25:34

I have a potato in front of me, some old ass

25:36

like soggy broccoli, and some

25:39

flavorless chicken, and

25:42

it's just sustenance and then we all,

25:45

you know, I don't know, it's just so weird

25:47

to think about being

25:49

that way. In

25:52

some ways though it would make life a lot easier.

25:55

But I do think it's I

25:58

talk about a lot because I do think it's very bond when

26:00

you agree on food, breaking

26:03

bread. But it's also funny to like

26:05

be really like I just did Esther Povitski's

26:08

podcast, and she was near to tears about

26:12

my opinion of a scone like

26:14

screaming. I mean, she's pregnant

26:16

and I'm pmssing, but still, you

26:19

know, the hormones were flying, and

26:22

the scone opinions were extremely

26:24

heated, like to where she literally

26:27

was upset

26:30

and I couldn't tell like if how much was

26:32

performance and how much was real. But

26:36

yeah, we really went there.

26:39

Okay, what

26:42

makes good art?

26:44

I don't know. The oscars

26:46

always, even since I was a kid, makes me really

26:48

contemplative because it

26:50

is crazy to say

26:54

like that we're all like my food

26:56

test on here. The whole point of it is how silly

26:59

is it to pretend and that there's objectivity

27:02

about something so subjective as

27:04

what tastes good to you? And

27:07

you know, even if

27:09

I start buying into my opinions

27:13

as truth, I know that I'm at

27:15

the end of the day, I know that I'm being stupid

27:17

now the

27:20

Oscars. It really is crazy that all these artists

27:22

are You're agreeing

27:24

that some art is objectively

27:26

better than others or whatever. I guess you're just agreeing

27:29

that according to this group of judges. But

27:37

even what I do really remember as a kid

27:39

feeling like this same feeling

27:41

kind of melancholy after award

27:44

shows, and it would always

27:46

be someone winning that I just thought shouldn't

27:48

have won, and just

27:50

sort of feeling this, you

27:52

know, the same thing me and Paul were discussing about,

27:55

like are we diagnosable and dah

27:57

da da. I just feel this feeling of being out of step

27:59

with the polite society, and

28:02

I disagree with polite society in so

28:04

many ways. I was joking on Instagram

28:06

that I think the losers should get speeches.

28:09

Those speeches would be fucking amazing.

28:14

I guess everyone would just be fucking fake and political

28:17

like always, but in

28:19

my fantasy, they'd be amazing.

28:21

Do you have a letterbox account? No?

28:26

But I you know, it's funny. It's like I with

28:29

Stand Up. I was never a huge stand

28:31

up fan, like watching it,

28:33

you know, there was a few different specials like I used

28:35

to like, you know, def comedy jam. I

28:37

remember Adele Gibbons casting a big impression

28:40

on me. I thought she was really funny. I

28:43

loved Martin Lawrence, like his show, but

28:46

I don't even know if I watched his stand up I did.

28:48

I did. I definitely did oh when I

28:50

was older, and

28:54

Eddie Murphy and stuff, But you know, I

28:57

wasn't a diehard stand up fan. And then similarly,

29:00

I'm not like a crazed film buff

29:02

in the way that like,

29:06

like I said, there was like films

29:08

that I loved so much and that influenced

29:11

how I think of things and see the world

29:13

so much. There's a bunch of documentaries

29:16

too that I haven't mentioned that had that impact.

29:19

What is your dream day?

29:22

Dream day starts, of course

29:25

with coffee, snuggling up with

29:27

the fam as we

29:30

do in saying

29:32

good morning, and all that snuggling with my dog.

29:34

He always walks up so my dog, I don't

29:36

know what it is, but he keeps hours like he

29:38

doesn't like to get up before a certain hour in the morning.

29:41

And then when he does finally decide to join

29:43

the world, he does this creaky

29:46

slow ass walk to my

29:48

pillow to say, because he sleeps at the foot

29:50

of my bed, and he walks

29:52

as if he's five hundred years old, and like

29:55

every step is just

29:58

you know, like I will want to move blanket

30:00

out of his way because he looks like it's so arduous

30:03

to make it all the way to the pillow from the foot of

30:05

the bed. But if I told

30:07

you that, whenever we have company, he is literally

30:09

sprinting five hundred miles an hour and barking

30:12

at the top of his lungs. And I'm like, what

30:14

is going on between your morning personality

30:17

and your daytime personality? Because

30:19

I wan in so

30:22

Okay. Cuddling dog coffee

30:25

an amazing coffee. I like all

30:28

types of coffee, black coffee. I

30:30

like a flat white. I like an iced

30:33

cappuccino. I like a cappuccino. I like a lavender

30:35

latte. I like

30:40

a cream top a cold brew

30:42

with cream on top of it, and

30:44

all that I have one of those.

30:47

What is your dream?

30:48

Like?

30:50

I think it's just you

30:54

know how people in Europe like have siesta

30:57

and stuff. I feel like that is

30:59

a good go. Like, you

31:02

know, there's a few things about traveling

31:04

that you notice in other cultures. It's like, you

31:07

know that I wish American

31:09

culture had one is that midday

31:12

nap time. I forget what it's called in Italy,

31:15

but that is cool. I think

31:17

it's cool that people shop at little markets

31:19

for their days groceries, so everything's very

31:22

fresh.

31:26

But yeah, my dream life is just that

31:28

I don't use it all up working, but

31:30

I do have quality time with

31:34

loved ones and

31:38

that I you know, am

31:41

there for those

31:43

in my life as much as I lean

31:45

on them. And cooking

31:49

I think really helps life

31:52

feel good

31:55

rather than ordering or like eating

31:58

processed food and stuff like cooking food very

32:00

soothing for me when I have

32:02

enough time and energy.

32:07

And I think how I've noticed lately, like doing

32:10

new activities is so

32:13

fun because I think you get to a certain age you're like, oh my

32:15

god, I feel like what is left? Like it's

32:17

part of why I had a kid. I'm like, you know, I used

32:19

to have a joke It's like, what was

32:21

I going to do? Just keep going out to dinner? Like

32:24

you know, it's like you get to sort of restart

32:26

on all of life's adventures when

32:29

you have a kid. And you

32:33

know, I want to have a house like my grandparents,

32:35

where you know, it's

32:37

full of people and food and traditions,

32:41

and I

32:46

want to travel like I think it would

32:48

be cool to get some great

32:51

travel in And

32:57

I want to have a bunch of adventures with my kid

33:02

and always

33:04

have a dog. I don't always

33:06

have a dog. I disagree? What

33:10

who are you?

33:12

Hmmm?

33:12

That's weird anyway.

33:16

Is the best type of pillow for side

33:18

sleepers?

33:19

Oh my god, this must be

33:21

the side sleeper virus?

33:23

What is the best type of pillow for

33:25

side sleepers?

33:26

You have top?

33:27

What is the best type of pillow for side

33:29

sleepers?

33:30

Excuse me, I'm talking.

33:34

Pillo for side sleepers. Is

33:38

the best type of pillow for side

33:40

sleepers?

33:41

Oh? My god?

33:42

What is the best type of side

33:45

sleepers? I do

33:47

not know, honey, sorry to

33:49

hear that. What is the best

33:51

type of pillow for side sleepers?

33:53

I'm really not sure, honey. Okay, Oh

33:58

my gosh, this this has been

34:00

a tragic episode

34:03

show.

34:10

How are you feeling good?

34:12

Why?

34:13

Because I just moved into a new house.

34:16

Why what? Why?

34:18

Chelsea?

34:20

Are you getting enough sleep?

34:23

No?

34:23

Sorry to hear that hard,

34:26

No, sorry to hear that. What

34:29

is the best type of pillow for side

34:31

sleepers?

34:33

I have a bamboo one and

34:35

I'm also a

34:38

side sleeper.

34:39

Sorry to hear that that, I'm that

34:41

I'm a side sleeper. What is your

34:43

favorite thing about life?

34:46

Oh god, oh,

34:52

I guess the people in it and

34:54

Chelsea bready.

34:56

Do you miss being a child?

35:01

Yeah, but I would want my childhood to be a

35:03

little different, so

35:05

just go back in time and do it all differently.

35:08

Sorry to hear that.

35:09

I appreciate your condolences.

35:12

What is the best type of pillow for side

35:14

sleepers?

35:18

The bamboo pillow. It's like

35:20

nice affirm and conforms

35:22

to your head shaped why, I

35:25

don't know, it just works well.

35:27

Do you have any hope for the state of

35:29

the world.

35:31

Oh God, hope,

35:35

yes, but

35:37

I'm not sure. It's a that's

35:40

a hard question.

35:42

Sorry to hear that.

35:44

Yeah, I'm sorry for everybody on this

35:46

planet as well.

35:48

Do you have a letterbox account?

35:50

No?

35:51

What makes good art?

35:56

I guess something that makes you smile.

35:58

What is a good person like?

36:03

Somebody that is kind and thoughtful?

36:07

And the word Chelsea really likes

36:10

to use, which is empathetic. I

36:12

can't tell if this is Chelsea or not.

36:14

What a fantastic caller?

36:19

Oh, thank you, I'm

36:21

gonna get anything.

36:22

That's around of time. Goodbye.

36:26

How are you feeling, I'm

36:28

so good.

36:29

I'm watching Come Thou Sando too?

36:31

Why?

36:33

Why? Because I'm prepared to see the

36:35

new movie.

36:35

Are you getting enough sleep?

36:38

I am. I have a fitness device that tells

36:41

me how much sleep I'm getting, but I'm always trying

36:43

to improve. Why so I

36:45

can feel really good in my body

36:47

and brain? Why so I'm not depressed

36:50

and I can live a good life? Why

36:53

so that I can be a present, grounded person.

36:56

Why so I

36:58

don't die?

36:59

Why?

37:00

Because dying is bad?

37:02

Sorry to hear that. What is

37:04

the best type of pillow for side

37:06

sleepers?

37:09

I've heard the pillow The square

37:11

pillow is really good. Why because

37:15

it keeps your head in a neutral position.

37:18

Who is your person you can call when you feel

37:20

sad?

37:20

My mom or my friends?

37:23

Why?

37:24

Why? Because they're always there for me?

37:26

What is the best type of pillow for side

37:28

sleepers?

37:29

I don't know.

37:30

What is your favorite thing about life?

37:33

Sex?

37:36

Sorry to hear that.

37:38

And art?

37:39

Why do you think a mosquito bit your foot?

37:41

No, Chelsey,

37:50

how are you feeling? Are

37:53

you getting enough sleep?

37:56

No?

37:58

Sorry to hear that. What

38:00

is the best type of pillow for side

38:02

sleepers?

38:04

I'm not sure why I

38:07

got got.

38:10

No?

38:12

Hi? No? No.

38:15

Do you miss being a child?

38:17

Yes? Yes?

38:20

Why because life is hard

38:22

as an adult?

38:24

Is life flashing past?

38:28

Yes?

38:28

This is weird.

38:31

Do you have any hope for the state of the

38:33

world?

38:34

Absolutely not.

38:35

No, sorry to hear that. Do

38:37

you have a letterbox account?

38:41

A letterbox?

38:41

I don't know what that is?

38:43

What makes good art?

38:45

Passion?

38:46

What is your dream day?

38:49

A day that I make a thousand dollars sale.

38:52

On my art?

38:53

Sorry to hear that.

38:55

It's a good thing.

38:56

What is your dream life?

38:58

Having my child to grow up in the best

39:00

home with the best family,

39:02

and being the best mother that I could be

39:05

with my dream life? Enddy

39:08

Chelsea perish, Thank.

39:14

You for loving me.

39:25

How are you feeling.

39:27

I'm feeling okay. I've been better

39:29

for sure. Actually that's not true. I'm feeling

39:32

not good. But I'm

39:34

here Why. I

39:38

work in very negative work, and

39:41

I think that is starting to get to me. I

39:43

work at a hate speech nonprofit and

39:45

it's kind of bummertown.

39:47

Do you have any hope for the state of the

39:49

world?

39:50

Following up on my last response.

39:53

No, what is your dream life?

39:56

I think I think about this a lot, and I

39:58

have these ideas of like running through a list, But I think

40:00

very simply, I just want to be able to have a backyard

40:02

where I can have friends over and we just laugh, like

40:05

late into the night.

40:07

Do you miss being a child?

40:09

I think so. But I

40:11

also was very aware that I had very

40:13

little autonomy as a child, and which

40:15

was very disturbing to me. And

40:18

I don't miss that.

40:20

What is your favorite thing about life?

40:22

When people can be very nice to each other

40:24

for no reason, that

40:27

is really cool to me.

40:29

What makes good art.

40:31

Something that can make you recognize

40:33

a feeling that you felt before but you didn't really

40:35

remember it, and

40:38

it kind of names that and then you're able

40:40

to deeply relate to it and

40:43

think about it in the future.

40:45

Is life flashing past?

40:46

Absolutely? Oh hell yeah,

40:49

especially since COVID it's just been

40:51

like five years of wait, how many years has it been?

40:54

Two? Three? Four? Bumbertown

40:56

for real whole time? Bummertown. Not

40:59

good to hear that? Is

41:04

this? Is this,

41:06

Chelsea?

41:07

What is the best type of pillow for side

41:09

sleepers?

41:13

Not Casper. I think everybody

41:15

that's been buying those has been paid off

41:18

by the deep State. It's

41:20

not Casper. Why it's

41:22

not Casper because they fucking bust

41:24

open. They bust open

41:27

so easily.

41:28

Are you getting enough sleep?

41:30

You know? I oversleep. I'm

41:32

starting to think that this is actually Chelsea, because

41:36

how would a robot be this good? On?

41:39

Why?

41:39

Maybe it's Kojak Why?

41:44

Maybe?

41:45

Why?

41:46

I really like whatever's happening right now, I

41:48

really do. I'm very appreciative of it.

41:50

Sorry to hear that, No.

41:54

Thank you. It's not a

41:56

reason to apologize. I

41:58

had a psychiatrist that was always

42:00

yelling at me when I apologized, but it made me kind

42:02

of feel worse.

42:04

Sorry to hear that.

42:06

Yeah, I know, it's okay, it's okay, it's

42:09

okay.

42:10

What is your favorite thing about life?

42:13

In addition to the kindness of strangers?

42:15

For no reason, I would say animals,

42:18

specifically dogs. Dogs

42:21

really pure why?

42:24

I feel like it doesn't really need a lot of explanation, but

42:27

maybe it does, you know, if I'm speaking to an

42:29

alien. Dogs

42:31

are so gentle, so kind.

42:33

They had such loyalty for

42:35

really no reason why. I

42:38

don't know. I don't know what

42:40

it is, but I but I read something once and said

42:42

you could leave a dog in the back of your

42:44

trunk of your car. I don't like the

42:46

premise, but you would leave the dog

42:48

in the trunk of your car and it would you'd open

42:51

it up, and it would be stoked to see you, even

42:53

if you were the one that locked it in there.

42:55

I disagree.

42:56

Okay, that's okay, I

42:59

understand, and I'm open to, you

43:01

know, debate on this. Why because

43:04

I had a mother that was a contrarian, and

43:07

so I'm just very used to having to engage

43:10

in dialogue, even if it's something like it rained

43:12

today.

43:12

You know, sorry to hear that.

43:15

No, it's okay, Hey, we're working through. I

43:17

got health insurance. I

43:19

got health insurance. Why

43:21

you don't have health insurance as a robot?

43:25

I gotta say I hate Blue Cross Blue Shield

43:27

though.

43:28

Chelsea Chelsea, Yeah,

43:31

Chelsea has health insurance. Chelsea

43:34

Chelsea.

43:36

Yeah, Oh my god.

43:38

How are you feeling?

43:39

I'm fine? Thank you?

43:41

Did Chelsea give the robot

43:43

health insurance?

43:44

Time to make it

43:54

to you? Has gotten far,

43:56

far.

43:59

Out of sense. It was wonderful

44:01

to be here. Thank you so much. I

44:04

want you to first time femail director twice

44:07

in one day last weekend.

44:08

You did. Oh my god, thanks

44:11

Yeah.

44:11

I watched it twice, wow, because

44:14

I feel

44:19

I didn't get it enough the

44:21

first time I needed to do it again.

44:23

Wow.

44:24

Interesting and

44:27

it was just so brilliant and I've recommended.

44:29

I think every single conversation I started on Monday

44:32

was me asking other people to watch it.

44:35

Do you have a Letterbox account?

44:38

Hell? Yeah I do. I'll go add

44:40

something right now. One

44:58

of the people who use letterbox don't read what

45:01

social game?

45:02

Yeah, don't read the other ones. They are so mean

45:04

to be on there. Okay, so really,

45:06

yeah, but thank you for watching it, and

45:09

thanks for having a Letterbox

45:11

account. You know this is this,

45:14

this is a do you work for them?

45:15

No?

45:16

No, I didn't even know they existed. Deanna,

45:18

one of my producers, told me about it a while back.

45:22

Yeah, it's it's really in with like the Brooklyn

45:25

You know that people that dressed like firefighters,

45:27

like vintage firefighters. They all got letter.

45:29

Box account.

45:32

Adding

45:38

a five star right now?

45:40

Thanks girl. Wait, I did not know people

45:43

dressed like firefighters in Brooklyn. Can

45:45

you elaborate?

45:47

Oh? It is absolutely awful.

45:49

And then they and then they smoke cigarettes.

45:52

Of course, I mean that's assumed, but then they act

45:54

like they wear like old firefighter

45:57

like costuming. I guess I would only

45:59

refer to it a costume even though it's a uniform,

46:02

and then they try to accept the persona

46:04

of it.

46:05

Oh my god, like do they have handlebar mustaches?

46:08

Absolutely?

46:10

That sounds grotesque. O. Wait, we

46:12

need to find an old photo of a firefighter

46:15

to post with this with this

46:17

episode.

46:19

Okay, okay, no.

46:21

I'm telling my producer, don't feel

46:23

like you need to do that. You're already You've

46:27

done enough, You've done enough heavy

46:29

listing for the day.

46:31

But listen, I love talking to your robot.

46:34

Did you hold on?

46:36

What is the best type of pillow for side

46:38

sleepers?

46:40

Not Casper?

46:42

I mean, this episode's definitely going to be called

46:44

side sleeper. I think.

46:47

Okay, I'm a side sleeper, And.

46:48

So do you really know any answer or

46:51

you only know a negative answer of what not

46:53

to do?

46:55

See, that's the problem with me is that I have a

46:57

lot of But I would say I

46:59

I think a gel like

47:03

a temperpedic.

47:04

So that's what I have. No,

47:08

I think, first of all, I think it's gotten a little bit like

47:11

thinner over time. But really

47:14

what I'm wondering is what is in

47:16

a temperpedic pillow? Have they been tested?

47:18

Is their transparency? Because

47:21

what could that be made out of it?

47:22

Nothing good?

47:23

No, I mean allegedly

47:27

it could be something weird in there. I don't know,

47:30

but I think about it all the time

47:32

because you're just spending so many

47:34

hours with your head the very

47:36

house of your brain crushed

47:39

into some unknown foreign

47:42

liquid.

47:43

Yeah, and somebody just made

47:45

it haphazardly because

47:48

because it was cheaper for them to produce it in a

47:50

certain way that they did. They're not cheap and

47:52

they don't care about your brain.

47:53

I mean, they're really not cheap.

47:56

But no, that's also true.

47:57

Yeah, but you know, it's like so many people

48:00

now have like brain it seems

48:02

like there's more people with brain tumors than

48:04

when I was younger. Do

48:06

you agree or not?

48:07

I would agree with that. I

48:09

would agree with that, and I think that's because

48:11

of human intervention. There's a specific

48:14

type of luke or

48:17

cancer that happened in like my aunt's

48:20

hometown in I

48:22

guess it's not her hometown where she lives in Montana

48:25

because of an asbestos plant and

48:27

they like named the cancer after

48:29

and like fifty percent of the town has

48:31

it.

48:33

Is it called cancer town?

48:36

That's actually yeah, it is.

48:38

That's a pitch. Yeah,

48:41

that's that's so fucking sickening. I

48:43

mean, there's just there's

48:45

so many things like that in the world. It's just

48:47

like, I mean, I don't even want to get into

48:49

that whole Pullitzer situation that I'm chasing

48:52

down about the DDT on Catalina.

48:54

Listen, it's pronounced Catalina, as

48:56

you well know.

48:57

We've been banging on scientists doors,

48:59

and you know what they're doing, locking them.

49:02

They are not letting this.

49:04

We told you ten years

49:06

ago, We're done.

49:07

They don't want me to be great. And

49:10

guess what, there's no letterbox for

49:12

fucking scientists. I can't go

49:14

on a scientist review

49:18

app and say they're not letting

49:20

me win a pulletzer, you

49:22

know, right.

49:23

Yeah, and I have no way of like liking

49:26

your review, right because I agree

49:28

with it.

49:29

Yeah, it's like fucked up. There's no kind

49:31

of there's no social media feedback

49:34

on a lot of work.

49:37

And yeah, you know what we need is more

49:39

social media.

49:41

Yeah, more, we need it to infiltrate

49:43

the sciences. We

49:46

needed to like, oh, there is sites

49:48

where you can like rate your professor, right,

49:50

I feel like there is that.

49:51

Yeah. Yeah, And I was gathing.

49:54

In college were you really.

49:57

Oh yeah. There's also a hotness

49:59

meter you can rate like how visually

50:01

attractive.

50:02

I don't remember hating or

50:05

thinking any of my professors were super

50:07

hot.

50:09

I didn't have particularly

50:11

attractive ones, but I did have ones that I

50:14

deeply hated.

50:15

What subject writing

50:18

what?

50:18

The professor actually since been fired,

50:21

Yeah, yeah

50:24

he was. He was a I went

50:26

to a really liberal school and he was like the one

50:28

conservative And he would leave fifteen

50:30

minutes in the class and just not come back

50:33

for thirty minutes and then

50:36

be like, did you guys do it? And

50:38

we'd be like what. I

50:41

think he may have had a problem with narcotics,

50:44

but that's not my business. But

50:46

I would also still give him a bad review even

50:49

if he had that issue, right, Yeah.

50:51

I don't. I'm trying to think if there's anything. I'm

50:54

even scared if I do open table, Like

50:56

if I reserve a restaurant, I'm scared

50:58

to review it afterwards.

51:00

I'm just like, Yeah, it's like people that are

51:02

coming after people for their reviews.

51:05

Yeah, it's like who's seeing the review?

51:09

Are they seeing that? It's me? I don't want

51:11

to even if like a meal was

51:13

terrible. It's like, is there any upside

51:16

for me writing a bad review on Open

51:18

Table. It's like, I don't know, It's like maybe

51:20

if someone slapped me across the face at a

51:22

restaurant, I would feel vindicated to

51:24

do that.

51:25

Help common man, you know, when they're

51:27

on where they're going to take their dinner.

51:30

Right, But there's enough, there's enough

51:32

other people doing it. That's the thing.

51:35

Yeah, yeah, you

51:37

don't need to do it. Is that people

51:39

that love to complain.

51:40

There's a real question is like is review

51:42

culture good or

51:45

bad? Is it good for society or

51:47

bad for society to have everyone

51:50

have this device in their hand where they can leave

51:52

public reviews. But also, as I'm talking,

51:54

I'm like, what is devoid

51:57

of that culture and what has it? Because

51:59

I know food and the

52:01

arts are very reviewed

52:05

and people well now like yeah

52:08

yeah, like actual individuals now are

52:10

getting lots of feedback.

52:13

But oh yeah yeah yeah the reddit snark

52:15

culture.

52:16

Yeah, that's the average human being

52:18

with any with a social media account

52:20

is now susceptible to critique

52:23

and review. So it's like, who

52:25

is immune to review? And

52:27

I really want to say it's scientists.

52:30

Is there anyone else?

52:31

I mean, yeah,

52:34

I agree, we need to get they need to

52:36

go. They need to be critiqued.

52:38

There's journals, peer

52:40

review journals. Yeah, but I'm talking about the

52:42

masses. I mean, what's crazy is that

52:45

the masses can sit there like oh. And I

52:47

mean, if you make any

52:50

kind of content, the masses are weighing in

52:52

on it. But

52:54

scientists are.

52:55

Being average TikTok user

52:57

to have access to review scientists,

53:03

I'm just saying.

53:05

I'm just saying, like, if I'm getting reviewed,

53:07

I want everyone getting reviewed.

53:10

I don't know, Yeah, I opportunity.

53:15

Like I don't know. I guess I really am curious.

53:17

Is it good for society or not? I will

53:19

say with YELP, it does help me steer me

53:21

in certain directions. If I look

53:24

up a place and it has like really shitty

53:26

reviews, I'm gonna look at it though, because

53:28

when the reviews are about portion size,

53:31

I'm like, this isn't the review for me.

53:33

I don't really care about portion size. Like

53:36

I want the food to be delicious. If

53:39

it's a small portion, yeah

53:41

either I'll order more or

53:43

whatever. But like I get it. Portion size

53:45

is like if you're gonna go out to eat and you're spending

53:48

money, you want to be fed, And I get it. But obviously

53:50

I'm extremely

53:53

successful and that's not my that's

53:55

not my defining Yeah,

53:58

no, I don't. I don't have a letterbox even

54:00

know about you have a film on letterbox

54:03

exactly, you don't.

54:05

You don't need to make an account your post to that.

54:07

You know what, all those little all those little

54:09

Fireman antique Fireman haters

54:11

on letterbox. Guess what I was in the Criterion

54:13

closet, you little bitch? Were you

54:17

even?

54:17

You don't even know you even know what that is.

54:19

You're just yeah, you're fucking

54:22

in the fucking cost

54:25

the Fireman costume rental closet.

54:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah, trying to pick up some

54:30

chicken with your natural wine.

54:33

You fucking grew Yeah, color

54:36

changing wind hand contact ship.

54:39

I have to peece so bad. I

54:43

have a question to do that when you're in like mixed

54:45

company, do you go I have to pee? Because

54:47

I say that, and then I feel like, wait, I guess

54:50

I'm really transgressing, Like you're supposed

54:52

to not specify what you're getting up to.

54:54

You're just you want to I don't

54:56

like saying the P word. I think specifically

54:59

I say I have to go urinate. That's

55:01

what my dad.

55:02

Says, I have to go take

55:04

a leak in the bathroom. I

55:06

gotta take a leak. Boys, I'll be back.

55:09

Yeah, that's actually funny. I should probably

55:11

bring that into rotation. Take a

55:14

leak. That's like disarming.

55:16

I feel like that's funny. But I have to pee.

55:18

It's like it always gets a look or a reaction,

55:21

like it's like it's too visceral for people,

55:23

and it it's like

55:25

not mysterious enough for polite society.

55:29

Right, so you're supposed to I have to use the restroom.

55:31

But the funny thing is it's actually more obscene

55:33

to leave it up to chance whether you're shitting

55:36

or pissing, like in a way it should

55:38

put everyone at ease. No, no, boys,

55:40

I'm only taking a leak.

55:43

So yeah, yeah, no, good, it's not

55:46

it's not bad. I don't do that. I don't

55:48

do that other thing. Yeah, it's none of my business.

55:50

I'm going to do the one thing I do

55:52

in the ladies room.

55:54

Yeah mm hmmm,

55:56

yeah, I don't know. This was I'm

55:59

so I am in shock right now that I'm

56:01

talking to you. You're like my favorite person ever been

56:03

wonderful.

56:04

You've been the only caller that I've talked to, and

56:06

I have to say I was getting really yeah, yeah,

56:09

I was getting really comfortable just being a robot

56:12

and pressing buttons. I'm like, wow, I can

56:14

see I can see the appeal

56:17

of AI. Like you just don't have to actually

56:19

put any personal effort in, you know. I mean,

56:21

I wrote the questions, but then I'm

56:23

like, ugh, there's some gaps in what I

56:25

have here on the soundboard, you

56:29

know. But I am hoping that

56:31

that there'll be some intel about pillows for

56:33

side sleepers, because if you try to google that, let

56:35

me tell you, you're getting into a whole mountain

56:38

of weird advertising. It's

56:40

hard to sift through it and find actual

56:42

recommendations.

56:44

Oh yeah, podcast apps for pillows

56:46

and mattresses. I mean you'd

56:49

think that it's the biggest market.

56:51

Yeah, like you know, hey, everyone

56:53

sleeps.

56:54

It's that is true. You're

56:56

right, it is a big market, you know what, You're completely

56:58

right, You're literally I want to say.

57:00

One fact I learned about pillows, yeah,

57:04

is that they gain weight over

57:06

time, you as

57:09

well as your mattress. Because of all

57:11

of them.

57:11

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm

57:14

sorry to hear that.

57:16

This is why actually with my pillows.

57:19

I do a weigh in in the morning and

57:21

at.

57:21

Night my pillows on weight

57:23

Watchers.

57:24

Yeah.

57:24

Same, gotta get that ozempic for

57:26

the pillows.

57:27

Oh my god, everyone is on fucking

57:30

ozempic. Everyone.

57:32

Oh I'm I'm the biggest ozembic

57:34

struther. I am. I mean that

57:36

I hate it. That doesn't like I'm not.

57:38

Pro Yeah, Like, it's starting to be shocking

57:41

to me who all is

57:43

on these drugs. And I was

57:45

just talking to someone about this and he said he injects

57:48

like he treats his body like quadrants

57:51

and he injects alternating quadrants. I'm like,

57:53

so you're bruised all

57:55

over it, Like, I mean, also, just

57:57

just think about idea of it's I think

57:59

it's once a week that you're injecting.

58:02

Yeah, it is your body, yeah,

58:06

every week.

58:06

And the dosage that they do for

58:08

the weight loss is like double what

58:11

they give diabetics. Really,

58:14

but I will say, you know, I'm

58:16

a woman. I'm a woman with body image issues.

58:18

I think every sorry unless

58:21

you really figured sorry to hear that.

58:23

So I go on the ozembic subreddit

58:26

because I'm like, I need because it

58:28

has been the best way for

58:30

me to know that do not take those empics.

58:33

They really post every single day.

58:35

What are they saying, give me.

58:38

I just I just ate half a pizza pizza

58:40

and I've been throwing up for four hours.

58:42

You no, yeah,

58:44

no, because I wait.

58:48

All the ozembic people are always

58:50

like posting pictures of like I just ate

58:52

a time.

58:53

You know.

58:53

They always don't say how much they hate.

58:54

But they're like taco night burgers,

58:57

pasta, I love it.

58:59

And you're like, wait a minute, you're

59:04

oh my god, yeah, no it is.

59:06

It is so ninety

59:08

five percent of people

59:11

that have taken it. This is what I think is very

59:13

scary about the state of the world is that ninety

59:15

five percent of users that were taking ozempics

59:18

experienced severe gastro intestinal

59:20

issues. But the but they

59:23

were worth it to them because

59:25

their interest in losing weight

59:28

was so so interest, like they

59:31

were willing to put up with it.

59:33

Everyone I know that's on it's

59:35

like yeah, for a while, it's like

59:37

that, and then you get used

59:39

to it.

59:40

Yeah, until your stomach becomes absolutely

59:43

frozen. There's like a frozen stomach

59:45

epidemic that's happening, and the cost people are

59:48

hospitalized.

59:49

What is a stomach what is a frozen

59:51

stomach.

59:53

It's like your body stops learning

59:55

how to process the food. Oh

59:58

my gosh, it's

1:00:00

not good. Ozempic truth everyone.

1:00:03

If this gets involved, if this is in the podcast,

1:00:06

dude, do you research or at least go to the ozempic

1:00:08

stubbreddit just to get it's a horror

1:00:10

story.

1:00:11

This is funny.

1:00:12

Okay, so oz stub.

1:00:14

I just thought of an ozempic food test.

1:00:17

One bean from a tacoe.

1:00:20

What's the liver of a sliver

1:00:23

of pizza?

1:00:25

Yeah, and it can't be like fatty or

1:00:27

like sugary foods either. So the foods

1:00:29

that you do get to eat, yeah,

1:00:32

it's it's like you get a little bit of brown

1:00:35

rice and a pizza broccolini.

1:00:36

Hmm. Do you know I cried about

1:00:39

Wendy Williams earlier in the podcast talking

1:00:41

to the robot.

1:00:44

What did the robot?

1:00:45

I mean nothing, It's literally, I

1:00:49

mean I wrote the lines for the robot,

1:00:51

and somehow I started yourself.

1:00:54

I'm just talking to myself with a

1:00:56

weird robot recording, and I'm crying about

1:00:58

Wendy Williams because I watched part of the documentary

1:01:00

about her today and it was just so

1:01:02

so sad, and at one point she was screaming

1:01:05

with delight that she has a thigh gap now. But

1:01:07

I mean, if I told you what

1:01:10

what those legs are looking like? And

1:01:12

I say this with love because you

1:01:14

know, listen, Wendy made a whole career saying

1:01:16

stuff like this. But I

1:01:19

have to say, like, I did her show when I was in

1:01:21

New York, and I used to listen to her radio show

1:01:23

all the time, and then when I got to

1:01:25

do her show, I guess I didn't live

1:01:27

in New York. I went back for it, probably because I

1:01:29

was on Brooklyn, I think, And

1:01:33

that audience was the most fucking hype

1:01:35

audience I've ever experienced

1:01:37

doing any talk show.

1:01:39

Yes, it's amazing.

1:01:41

I am so that is one of my biggest regretses

1:01:44

that I never got to go show.

1:01:46

It was so everyone is just so

1:01:49

in it.

1:01:49

They were so hyped. It was like

1:01:51

a Greek amphitheater walking out there

1:01:54

and it's just so day.

1:01:58

Yeah, Wendy Williams.

1:01:59

Yeah, it's it's just so sad to

1:02:01

see the state that she's in.

1:02:04

Yeah. I couldn't watch it. I saw some clips and

1:02:06

I was like, this is a little I just

1:02:08

want to remember her. I only want

1:02:10

to consume, you know, the show

1:02:12

clips, the peaks Sondy Williams

1:02:14

Extended.

1:02:15

Universe, whereas I saw those clips and

1:02:17

we'll insert this in post. But I was

1:02:19

like, you can

1:02:22

insert footsteps walking toward

1:02:24

the clips, toward the documentary

1:02:27

and then there I was watching it this morning

1:02:29

and then in a state of panic all day

1:02:31

about Wow, your whole life can just fall

1:02:33

through your fingers. I mean, yeah,

1:02:36

her whole life.

1:02:38

Your your body will ultimately betray

1:02:40

you.

1:02:41

Yeah, or in the case of Aphasia,

1:02:43

I mean, it's like your mind. And then also

1:02:45

she was sober her whole radio show

1:02:48

and now she's drinking and it's just like,

1:02:50

oh my gosh, it's just so

1:02:52

hard.

1:02:53

Yeah, and that the memories that she does have

1:02:55

are just like some being truly betrayed,

1:02:58

and that's like some of the last parent things

1:03:00

that she had, and that's that is so upsetting

1:03:03

to me.

1:03:04

Yeah, it's it's unclear from what I

1:03:06

watched what she but

1:03:08

she cried a lot, and then here I

1:03:10

am on my podcast crying just like her.

1:03:13

So who's the one to feel sorry for. I

1:03:16

don't know, Letterbox

1:03:19

exactly. Listen

1:03:23

you are. I

1:03:25

was going to start giving out golden tickets.

1:03:27

Does anyone do that like to callers, like you

1:03:30

get a golden ticket? Is there

1:03:32

a way to like prioritize callers,

1:03:34

because I feel like that would be fun to do when

1:03:36

there's a good caller.

1:03:38

Oh, oh, are you giving me a golden

1:03:40

ticket?

1:03:41

I would if this infrastructure

1:03:43

was set up.

1:03:44

Yeah, oh my god, Oh

1:03:47

I mean I would. I would love that. I'll I'll

1:03:50

DM the account. You don't even have to acknowledge it, but I'll

1:03:52

say, well.

1:03:52

That's good. I would say. This is

1:03:54

what I think would be fun. Is like if

1:03:56

we had, like remember that one guy who called

1:03:59

and he knew about every awful thing in the

1:04:01

world that we both read all the same

1:04:03

scary articles and stuff like if we had

1:04:05

his number your number, like we

1:04:07

have a file of them, like of our

1:04:09

top callers, and then we can even call

1:04:11

you sometimes if we want you to weigh in on a topic

1:04:14

like that would create a nice like oh

1:04:17

my god.

1:04:17

Totally, yeah, you can. You can call me anytime

1:04:19

at night.

1:04:20

I'll be thank you.

1:04:21

Probably thinking about the world suffering,

1:04:24

you know, do you have.

1:04:25

Any hope for the state of the world. No,

1:04:29

What is the best type of pillow for side

1:04:31

sleepers.

1:04:33

All Right, I have to go. I have to pee. I

1:04:35

hate to.

1:04:35

Say you can go to the bathroom. Okay, letterbox

1:04:38

is happening eminently.

1:04:41

Thank you. I have to pee

1:04:43

eminently, but I mean I

1:04:46

have to use the restroom. Okay, yeah,

1:04:48

the girls room.

1:04:50

Okay.

1:04:51

I adore you. I adore everything you do. I

1:04:53

think you're the smartest woman on the planet.

1:04:56

You say all of this crazy?

1:05:03

All right, okay, what is this? All

1:05:07

right?

1:05:07

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

1:05:09

all right, all right, all right, right, alright, alright,

1:05:11

alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,

1:05:13

alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,

1:05:15

alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,

1:05:18

alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,

1:05:20

alright, alright, alright, right, alright,

1:05:22

alright, alright.

1:05:23

Alright, alright, you're my biggest

1:05:26

right, all right.

1:05:27

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

1:05:29

all.

1:05:29

Right, all right, alright, alright, alright, alright,

1:05:31

alright, lady Berries

1:05:34

Baryland, don't warges. Okay, I can't

1:05:36

with that, all right, I really do have

1:05:38

to tend one, as they say.

1:05:41

Okay, do it? Here?

1:05:42

You get in your car. What car are you driving?

1:05:45

I have a Volvo with the lights that don't turn on, so I

1:05:47

can only drive during the day.

1:05:56

And then I'm going to get into what am I going

1:05:58

to be driving right now? What do I feel like? Let

1:06:03

me think, mm

1:06:05

hmmmmmmmm. I'm gonna walk and

1:06:08

then that walking sound. I'm

1:06:11

gonna you know what, I'm gonna walk. It's a nice

1:06:13

day out, it's really not, but

1:06:15

I'm gonna walk nonetheless because it feels really

1:06:17

dramatic. Bye.