True Kindness is being in a space of no judgment, offering assistance ONLY when it is requested or agreed, and delivered in a way that it can be received, rather than telling the other person your point of view.  Bastardised kindness is when there are hidden agendas, an intent to control, there is an ulterior motive, and particularly when it leaves the other person with a twisted feeling in their gut.  Gas lighting happens in everyday life, in the workplace, not just in a DV relationship.... when it causes us to question our own reality - what we know to be true.  It happens when when we are being one of "petals", not coming from the "centre of the flower".
The Divided Mind:  The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders (Dr John Sarno)
What Happened To You?  Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (Dr Bruce D Perry and Oprah Winfrey)
When The Body Says No:  The Cost of Hidden Stress (Dr Gabor Mate)

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