0:00

Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of

0:02

iHeartRadio and the Black Effects. Hey,

0:15

y'all, what's going on? Welcome back to yet another

0:17

Can'tfully Reckless episode with your girl just hilarious

0:19

and here with me is sheen. I wain't up

0:21

before you step out and take a piss, say what's

0:23

up?

0:24

What's up? And I don't have to piss? Thank you?

0:27

Oh my Ben, you gotta take a shit, all right,

0:29

So we're gonna jump straight into it. We got another voice

0:31

memo today, Drumroe, please leave

0:35

another voice memo. It's not that long,

0:37

however, it should be good. Now listen

0:39

when y'all hear these stories, I'm just

0:41

now hearing them too. Now, when

0:43

it's a paragraph and it's written or you

0:46

know, typed, I will skim through it before

0:48

I do read it. But I'll be wanting to get my album.

0:50

I'll be wanting y'all to listen to my first reaction,

0:53

you know, because it's the first reaction is always

0:56

like the truest. I don't

0:58

be reading these stories, and I don't pick them

1:00

based on how good they are. I just pick them,

1:03

that's it. And then I hear them when i'm

1:05

reading them to y'all. So here we

1:07

are, y'all voice memo.

1:09

It's just christ Off. I want to

1:11

say I'm a big fan.

1:12

Of you, been a fan since

1:15

you was doing videos in your living room

1:17

with edges. But you

1:19

grow up.

1:22

Yeah, motherfucker. I never did videos in

1:24

my fucking living room. You

1:26

you did, I definitely did. But so what But

1:29

I talked about my head edges back

1:32

then.

1:33

No you did, d I didn't. All

1:35

right, It's all right, all right, you right,

1:37

I'm here for it. I'm definitely happy

1:39

for all your success.

1:40

Thank you.

1:41

I wish and pray more for you than all

1:43

your heart hand can hold.

1:46

So I just want to say you know that I love

1:48

you, seceily and and honestly.

1:51

But I'm reaching out because I need you to fix my mess.

1:54

Yeah, now you need me for something that you just

1:56

came at my poor ass living room and my no edges

1:58

having ass back in the day. But go

2:00

ahead, But I'm gonna go ahead and fix your mask because

2:03

that they will. They will break it down

2:05

and build you up, won't it. All Right, here we go.

2:08

I've been dating this girl.

2:09

I wasn't dating this girl for a few months,

2:11

and everything was beautiful, lovely.

2:14

The DOPA means that you're fulfilling.

2:15

Everything was on the same frequency

2:18

vibing, and in the blake of an idol

2:21

came crashing down. Very

2:23

transparent, an honest person,

2:26

and I'm quite direct.

2:28

So I was up front of all my.

2:30

Flaws and my baggage,

2:33

and I also, uh, you

2:35

know, let let it be known what my goals are.

2:37

I'm very I have a vision, I have a program.

2:41

I never lied about who I was, who

2:43

I am, you know, and things of that

2:45

sort. So one of the flaws that

2:47

I informed her about, when it began to show

2:49

itself, she backed

2:51

out.

2:52

I mean, she pulled the road from up under.

2:54

My feet and

2:56

it just all came crashing down. And

2:59

she basically he told me that she

3:01

can't give me what I need, even

3:04

though the things that she that I needed

3:07

I informed her in the beginning. So

3:11

I'm asking if I'm crazy

3:14

for waiting for her.

3:18

And wanting to.

3:20

Take time for myself and her takes

3:22

time for herself and wait

3:25

for.

3:25

Her to become what I need. A

3:28

part of me feels like that I

3:32

was. I was, genuinely, I ain't gonna.

3:33

Say a part the whole part of me

3:36

was genuinely and sincerely

3:39

in love with her, and

3:42

I do see her a wife in her

3:44

I wanted her to be my wife. We went as far

3:47

as getting almost getting married,

3:49

and like I said, it all can't crash

3:51

you down. For her reasons and

3:55

her pulling away. You

3:57

feel what I'm saying. I play a role in that I'm not saying,

4:00

and it's.

4:00

All her doing.

4:01

Kind of the reason she pulled away was

4:03

due to the things that I had already informed

4:05

her about. I am my room

4:08

for wanting to wait around

4:11

and continue to pour into myself, grow

4:14

and evolve in all aspects

4:17

and wait for her to basically spin

4:19

a.

4:19

Block on me. And I

4:21

know that. You know I'm

4:24

a traditional person.

4:26

You feel what I'm saying like I'm a traditional

4:28

woman, you know. And I

4:31

believe in love and I love love. And

4:33

when I know what I want, you feel

4:35

me. I'm thirty one years old, I'll be thirty two

4:37

and Desummer shout out to my set of service.

4:39

Oh so I'm you

4:41

know, I know what I want and she is that.

4:44

So should I just move on and

4:47

just let her come

4:49

to me? Because I'm also a hunter. I go

4:51

after what I want and I'm not used to things

4:54

coming after me or things

4:56

coming to me.

4:57

You know, I go after what I want.

4:58

So should I just move on and

5:01

let her go and just

5:06

just put myself back out there with someone else? Or

5:08

am I crazy for waiting around

5:12

or waiting for her to be what

5:15

I need her to.

5:16

Be for me because she is what I want?

5:19

Okay? Yeah? I feel you

5:22

even sound like this is heavy for you, Like

5:24

this is heavy on you and like

5:27

you're really really trying to figure it out.

5:29

It definitely seems like it's

5:32

a lot there. I want to know what

5:35

you're speaking of when you say she knew

5:37

what I was, she knew

5:40

you know who I was? I you know, because it seems

5:42

as if you were one with her. You

5:44

seem like you're straightforward, you're blunting.

5:46

You also communicated that to mean you're open

5:49

with everything, completely transparent and

5:51

all aspects of this relationship, and

5:54

it seems like with what

5:56

was once agreed upon, something

5:58

changed. She's second

6:00

thought, you know, second having second thoughts

6:02

and regretting, you know, second guess

6:05

and what's you know, what's going on?

6:09

Yeah, what you thought was salid? Yeah? I

6:11

want to know, you know, and let

6:14

me know exactly what that is if

6:16

you're okay with that? What

6:19

were you or what you

6:21

know? What are you?

6:22

Or what you know?

6:23

What I'm saying and I'm just repeating

6:25

it back to you how you you know, presented

6:27

it to me. You

6:31

do know, things can change

6:34

in relationships. Things may

6:36

be overwhelming, whatever it is, whatever your past

6:38

is or whatever, you know, whether you want to run,

6:40

you're a fucking fellon a strip of

6:43

something, you know, a porn star, whatever

6:46

it may be.

6:48

We gotta that's that's the thing we need to know

6:50

to know, you know, we need

6:52

to know what it is that she was

6:54

accepting of.

6:55

Yeah, because things change, Yeah.

6:58

But do you feel like it's somebody

7:00

else? Or yeah?

7:02

Did you ever think of that? That's

7:04

actually a good question. My best friend, you know,

7:06

she I wouldn't even wouldn't

7:08

have even thought of that because I'm I'm trying

7:10

to piece together. I feel like we're talking to Kole's

7:13

boo. But yeah, or

7:15

you just probably you know, may not

7:17

be comfortable enough to share that part

7:20

of it. But I can't really advise

7:22

you on whether to stay or goal

7:24

or to try to fix it or whatever.

7:26

The most I can say is, you know, if a person

7:28

is saying they don't want

7:30

to be there.

7:33

Say she ain't say that she

7:35

she didn't want to be there. I guess that she's having

7:37

second thoughts, like is communication?

7:40

Well, I was just communicated, Like what are we doing? You

7:43

know? What's because like, are we're

7:45

moving forward? All right? Work on it?

7:46

Like what's what's the deal? Can it be safe

7:49

because it's no sitting around. We're not We're

7:51

not sitting around waiting for anybody. We're

7:53

moving on and if that person comes around

7:55

before we end up with someone

7:58

else, then okay, cool. But I

8:00

mean it's basically let's talk

8:02

about it because I'm not gonna sit here and

8:04

wait for you.

8:04

Yeah, I'm not. I'm going to live my life.

8:07

But I think you should heal.

8:09

I think she really needs to heal from

8:11

whatever it is that they have or have if

8:14

this person isn't showing them that they

8:16

want to progress more.

8:20

Yeah, and you're talking about

8:22

marrying her, like you want this to be your wife.

8:24

This is somebody, this is a life partner in your

8:26

eyes.

8:27

So y'all need to really be having that conversation.

8:29

Yeah, because it just doesn't seem like you were on the right

8:31

page. If you're telling me I'm on the same page.

8:33

I'm sorry, it doesn't seem like you are on the same Shut

8:37

the hell up, damn, it

8:40

don't seem like you two are on

8:43

the same page. You know. If you're you're expressing

8:46

these these feelings to

8:48

me for this woman, that's

8:51

the communication thing. Y'a gotta sit down and I need

8:53

to talk about that, and y'all need to do it quickly, you

8:55

know, because time. Yeah,

8:57

we only got time, but we don't have time

9:00

either, you know. And we shouldn't take time

9:02

for granted, so many other

9:04

things that you guys could be doing together or

9:06

a part if that is what

9:08

your heart desires, you know what I'm

9:10

saying, So get on the same page. Put some more

9:12

meat on his bone if you're comfortable

9:15

with doing so. Because

9:18

I can't fix your mess if you're only give me a little

9:20

bit of it, you know what I mean, If you really

9:22

really, I can, but I would rather

9:25

be able to help you and the

9:28

entirety of what's going on. You know what I'm saying,

9:30

So just update me, reach back out, let

9:33

me know. And also

9:36

this is important for people to know as well. When I'm

9:38

helping you guys, or I'm fixing

9:41

your mess, you can write me and tell

9:43

me that you don't want this story

9:45

to air. If you really just really

9:48

need advice, you can

9:50

do that as well, and say I don't want this

9:52

on the podcast because I.

9:54

Have a lot of serious stories that I

9:56

feel like.

9:56

You know, some people wouldn't

9:59

even want exposed on

10:01

a social platform. You know, their

10:04

voices are being heard, and I always joke

10:06

about it, but you know it's truth in every

10:08

joke. A lot of people don't want their voices being heard because

10:10

people know their voices, you know, And a lot

10:12

of people listen to Carefully Reckless every

10:14

Wednesday, so you

10:16

can always, you know, say

10:19

Jess, this is just from me to you. If

10:21

you can find it in your heart to lend

10:24

me some advice you know what I'm saying, without

10:27

putting it, without making it a part of

10:29

your platforms per podcasts,

10:33

then I greatly appreciate that. And depending

10:35

on the severity of it, yes, I will help you

10:37

if I do have time. So I'm for

10:39

sure if you love me, you'll listen

10:42

to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

10:46

We're moving on now. This is

10:48

not a voicemail, though this is a

10:50

long ass too paragraphs, but I

10:52

see a little bit of punctuation marks in

10:54

there, so we should be fine.

10:56

All right, Hey.

10:58

Jess, First off, I want to say that I'm

11:00

a huge fan for a long time, since the Facebook

11:02

DS. Okay, day one, what's going on? I'm

11:05

reaching out because I need you to fix my mess. I'm

11:07

twenty five years old. I just finished

11:09

my career. You finished your career,

11:12

Okay at twenty five? All

11:15

right. I'm happily married and I

11:17

have a wonderful husband.

11:18

I know.

11:18

That's why congratulation ons. We have been

11:20

together for nine years, married for five. This

11:24

man is now. Okay, so you've been with this niggas since

11:26

you was I mean, you've been with this man since she was

11:28

sixteen.

11:28

That's amazing.

11:30

This man is not only a partner, but a provider as

11:32

well. He takes care of me and of everything

11:34

that needs to be taken care of. Oh, that's why

11:36

you ended your career regarding

11:39

finances, Yes, he takes care of everything. Now.

11:42

Emotionally, I do think our relationship

11:44

has shifted a little bit to where I

11:46

think we're both kind of comfortable. Hm.

11:49

That's never good. I

11:52

could say our relationship is very mature.

11:55

I don't want to say that I'm bored, but it

11:57

kind of seems like a routine that we've

11:59

been doing for so long. I

12:02

don't know why. Lately I've been wanting to feel

12:04

an excitement of dating. What

12:08

I just seems kind of boring now, say

12:10

this is why y'all need to send in these voice notes

12:12

the help, all right, I think she's

12:14

trying to say it just seems kind of boring now,

12:17

But I just found out that I'm nine weeks pregnant. Okay,

12:19

congratulations, and he's over the

12:21

moon.

12:22

I know he's happy.

12:23

He is planning the baby shower already

12:26

and looking for names. I see the happiness

12:28

enjoyed that this news has brought him. I

12:30

would say that it's brought us closer to

12:33

talk more about the future with the baby. This

12:35

would be our first kid. Congrats.

12:38

My issue is that I don't feel excited. Oh,

12:41

I have so many emotions, and it makes me feel guilty

12:44

that I don't feel as happy as he does. I

12:47

am terrified to carry a baby because it

12:49

is such a big responsibility. I

12:51

thought that I would feel differently being pregnant,

12:54

but now I just feel like my life and freedom

12:56

is over. I feel like I can't

12:58

even act the same anymore because

13:00

I'm gonna be someone's mother and

13:03

I need to be more mature. I don't know, I

13:05

have some moments where I do feel happy and

13:07

excited that I'm able to experience

13:09

this. I just need your point of view

13:12

help me. I'm a first time all

13:14

well, first of all, to be able to say that is a

13:17

blessing in itself, being as though, you know, we

13:19

have a lot of women out here who can't conceive,

13:21

who want babies, and there they would give their

13:23

right panky for a baby. You know, they

13:26

would give, you know, almost

13:28

close to their life to be able to produce

13:30

life.

13:30

You know.

13:31

So I'm gonna say congratulations, and then

13:33

just for some people, it's not easy.

13:35

I know it's not easy. It's

13:38

not easy getting pregnant for some

13:40

others. But I am

13:43

very very happy for you. I

13:45

do not want you to be

13:47

so hard on yourself. Oh this is this is natural

13:50

for a lot of first time moms, no matter the age,

13:52

no matter you know, whether you're young or older,

13:55

it's it's it could be very scary. You're

13:57

blessed to have a cope

14:00

who actually is excited though, because

14:04

imagine being someone who

14:06

has to do it on their own, you know what I mean. Although

14:09

he can't carry the baby for you, he

14:12

can make it a lot easier. You don't

14:14

have to do it alone. I

14:16

hate to ask you, why are you going to keep it? Because I

14:19

imagine that you are. I

14:22

would love you too again, but it's not my body

14:25

and it's not your husband's body.

14:27

So how do you feel?

14:29

Overall? Are you religious at all? Do

14:31

you pray about things? That's

14:33

it's eleven to eleven? Hey? Speaking

14:36

of uh, you know Brandon

14:38

stuff. Are you

14:41

religious at all?

14:42

You know?

14:42

Do you pray? Do you

14:44

meditate? Do you you know? Do

14:47

you have a therapist? Is there someone that you feel

14:50

that you could talk to you other than your husband that will

14:52

help you feel better about

14:54

being a mom, because that's important

14:56

as well.

14:57

You know, there was no

14:59

room issues.

15:00

Then yeah, she's just the first time

15:02

mim' she's scared. Oh let's go back, little boy,

15:04

she's bored.

15:06

Hold up, hold up, I know this shit getting good, but

15:08

listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

15:10

If you love me, you'll listen. Okay,

15:14

So let's go back before we get to mommy world.

15:16

Okay, you new mommy world, first

15:18

time mommy world. Let's say that. I'm so

15:20

excited for you, girl. I

15:23

am just happy to hear this.

15:25

However, prior to finding

15:29

out that you're nine weeks pregnant,

15:31

you were getting bored in your

15:34

marriage. And you've been married for five years,

15:36

you've been with him for almost a decade,

15:39

and you're twenty five. Answering me this,

15:41

Do you feel like you got married to it or too early

15:44

and it's nothing else? Being honest about

15:46

it with me, or being honest about

15:48

it in general. You know, sometimes as women, we keep

15:50

things bottled up, and that's how we

15:52

depress ourselves. We stress ourselves out,

15:54

we lose weight, you start losing

15:58

confidence, you know, and just being in

16:00

our own heads. It's better to talk. It's

16:02

better to communicate, you know. I

16:04

don't care if you have a diary, don't hold it in. Do

16:07

you feel like you got married

16:10

too early? Is this something that you and your husband

16:12

talked about? Does he feel

16:14

the same way. Have you expressed to him

16:16

that you feel bored? That

16:19

you felt bored? Does he feel

16:21

like I said, does he feel the same way?

16:23

Did you have your eye on someone else before

16:26

you were you know, before you discovered

16:28

you were pregnant, because you did say that you

16:30

felt the urge to date, to

16:32

want to date.

16:33

So I wonder if she was talking about them dating

16:36

or her dating outside of them.

16:37

Like like them being open no

16:40

no, no, or just them going on dates more

16:42

because with each other. Yes,

16:45

yes, because she did say

16:47

it was routine right right?

16:49

Yeah? Is that things?

16:51

You know?

16:51

Definitely try a new thing, bucket lists.

16:58

Yeah, it's time to have fun, trap all

17:01

that. Yeah, and you said he is

17:05

financially in doubt. You know, he takes

17:07

care of everything that needs

17:09

to be taken care of, so you guys should travel

17:12

more. I mean, is that something that any guys are in.

17:14

It's crazy because she's pregnant now, so it's like,

17:17

yeah.

17:19

But she look at sexy

17:21

red doing whole performances,

17:24

being that ass, so shake that

17:26

ass, how knees on the.

17:28

Flow, So you call it her sexy free?

17:30

No, I'm not, but no

17:32

means am I not more like

17:34

sexy? No? I said she said,

17:37

you said, now she's pregnant, like they

17:39

can't.

17:39

Treat it's not stopping sexy.

17:41

It ain't stopping sexy. She

17:43

out barefoot just as

17:46

pregnant, her

17:48

gene thongs on on the

17:50

red wig and just doing our things, just

17:53

she has gene thongs, yes, because they

17:56

big.

17:56

Yeah. Yeah, so don't

17:58

put on your gene thongs.

18:00

Go ahead and go out and have a good time before you

18:03

your feat swelling.

18:04

Yes, girl, I uh,

18:06

it's just community. Yeah,

18:10

but I think you should tell me answer all those

18:12

questions and ask all those questions.

18:15

You can revisit.

18:16

Yeah, my point of view is just basking.

18:20

This ambience sounds like this excitement.

18:22

Yeah, it sounds like a really good

18:25

uh.

18:25

Good relations It sounds like a great marriage.

18:28

I know every marriage has its ups and its downs.

18:30

No marriage is perfect, no, and we've seen that

18:32

thanks to Will and Jade. But yes

18:35

we as you know, y'all

18:37

be good. Yeah, and y'all still young.

18:39

I don't know how old. Yeah, your husband

18:41

is, but if he is your age,

18:43

you know, y'all, y'all

18:45

still got a lot more life to live even after

18:48

that. Baby, girl, babies, I'm not gonna

18:50

sit here and tell you that they don't slow your

18:52

life down. But they don't stop your life, that's

18:54

right. And you already finished your career. So

18:56

what what you got to do?

18:57

And baby, I don't have none?

18:59

So yeah, every

19:01

night, yeah, that night,

19:04

yeah, baby, look outside

19:06

every night in

19:08

the alley. Yeah, okay,

19:11

living in the damn alley.

19:13

You don't want to be like that. Oh my god,

19:15

the soud a damn name. All right, never

19:18

mind that that, And just like that, we've

19:20

come to the end of this episode. Her

19:22

name I did not say. I said Sashika.

19:26

Okay, all right, so yeah,

19:29

damn.

19:29

So what's that being said?

19:30

What's that being said?

19:32

Y'all?

19:32

Make sure that y'all sending voice

19:34

notes. And again, like

19:36

I said, if there are any stories

19:39

that you do not want exposed

19:43

on such a huge platform, like carefully

19:45

Reckless, which is a part of iHeart, and

19:48

you know it's promoted on bigger platforms,

19:50

you can definitely just let me know,

19:52

say, Jazz, Hey, uh, my story

19:55

is a little too specific and it's a little

19:57

too much going on for it to be plastered all

19:59

over the N that and all over other

20:02

socials, you know what I'm saying. So I

20:05

was like, if you can fix my messages between

20:07

us, and then yeah, boom, and we can do it

20:09

just like that, if I can get to it,

20:12

guys, because I am busy as well in

20:14

life, be life and for everybody, not just

20:16

y'all. So in my deepest

20:19

pan voice, me and Shana will be out. Yes,

20:23

my son is like a little bird. All right, we're

20:25

gonna do it again.

20:28

All right, There we go, There we go, There we go.

21:41

Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart

21:43

Radio and The Black Effect. For more

21:45

podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the

21:47

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

21:50

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.