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3:31

Hey. Welcome to Corel class. six for Sunday,

3:34

December eleventh twenty twenty

3:36

two. How are you doing? Thanks so much for

3:38

tuning in. You know, the show guys are gonna play

3:40

highlights of the Adam Corolla show. My

3:42

name is Chris Locksamana. I'm the executive producer of

3:44

the Adam Corolla And with

3:46

me, as always, Rola Arkemist,

3:50

fan Giovanni. Hey, everybody.

3:52

Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday to you too, Gio.

3:55

Alright. Before you get going to the Klipsch or I wanna

3:57

remind everybody If you have a

3:59

clip request

3:59

or something you wanna send us, let

4:02

us know by emailing us. Just send it

4:04

to classics at adamcorolla dot

4:06

com or find you or myself on Instagram,

4:08

Facebook, wherever, let us know what you

4:10

wanna hear on the show. This first

4:13

clip is a request from listener Angela

4:15

Lautrom. in Pennsylvania. Angela

4:18

Rite, guys. My favorite bit

4:20

anywhere is when Dana Gould comes

4:22

on as fuelhauser. Any chance

4:24

We can get an all hue episode sometime.

4:27

Love the show guys. Keep up the good

4:29

work Angela. Well, Angela,

4:31

I I think we have we done that

4:33

before? We've done something close to it, but

4:35

not quite. Yeah. We could do an all wheel weekend

4:37

or all wheel installment that's entirely possible.

4:39

Totally as we there's definitely a wealth

4:41

of material. But is is it Angela Troperstein

4:44

looks Rho p a? Is that a town or is that her name?

4:46

I have no idea, to be honest. If if

4:48

it is a town at my apologies to everybody

4:50

else. social care. Pennsylvania. Yeah.

4:52

Alright. Well, we we

4:54

don't have an all hue episode for today.

4:57

but we do have a heel clip from twenty

4:59

eleven. It's Adam Polichow six thirty

5:01

two Dana Gould, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop.

5:03

This is August of twenty eleven,

5:05

and we will be doing an upcoming fuel installment

5:07

if not entire weekend at least one full

5:09

day. And it'll be just for you, Angela.

5:19

feels very well out of the APs to

5:21

me. Seems

5:23

like there's some original score. Oh,

5:25

yeah. everything

5:27

you've ever known, loved, or

5:29

hugged, this turned to dust.

5:31

Dust, I tell you. I

5:34

would've fucking fucking drowned him in

5:36

the river in the first one. That's

5:38

Chuck Aston. What up? Tell you

5:40

guys, you have to watch the first planet of

5:42

the apes just to see how

5:44

how

5:44

riddled with religious

5:47

sort of double entendre stuff was in

5:49

there in symbolism. And then what

5:51

a fucking blow hard bummer Chuck

5:53

Heston was. Ironically, Dana

5:56

Gould speaking. Yes. He's the captain

5:58

of the of the mission. Isn't he

5:59

in charge of morale So

6:02

they really be walking across the dead your

6:04

loved ones are dead and forgotten

6:06

for twenty centuries. shouldn't

6:09

even know that. Come on, guys. I bet there's

6:11

water over the next time. It's like, where's Let's

6:13

sing some of the old songs. Where's your

6:15

God now, Johnson? Like,

6:17

I'm it it it it's all it's just him

6:19

complaining and talking about how

6:21

everyone knew your kids,

6:23

your grandkids, your grandkids, grandkids,

6:26

and their grandkids are up dead.

6:28

Turn it dust. It's a great line. It's right

6:30

here on the screen. The line is I

6:32

I could I could recite the whole movie regrettably,

6:34

but the line is Your

6:36

loved ones are dead and forgotten for

6:38

twenty centuries. Twenty centuries.

6:41

Even if you could get back, they'd think you

6:43

were something that fell out of a tree.

6:46

Right. It's such a trap. He's

6:48

a trap. He's a trap. He shouldn't be going like, hey, you

6:50

gather wood. I'm gonna look for fresh water. you

6:53

never saw Captain Kirk were surrounded by clingy ons.

6:55

We deserve to die. We should kill ourselves.

6:57

But everyone fall on their set their taser

6:59

for suicide. My favorite line and

7:01

later in the movie when he's talking to Nova,

7:03

played by then studio head

7:05

Richard Zenix's wife, Linda Harrison.

7:07

Mhmm. He goes, Did

7:10

I tell you about Stewart? Talking

7:12

about the astronaut who died, the girl who died,

7:14

he goes, there was a lovely girl,

7:16

the most precious cargo we

7:18

brought along. She was to

7:21

be the new eve with

7:23

our hot and eager help, of

7:25

course. Really? That

7:28

was her job on the mission. Why

7:30

do I think she thought she was

7:32

the geologist? Right. She

7:34

was the one that sort of

7:36

got she she was like

7:38

when when

7:41

apple sauce hits air,

7:43

and the the lid pops up and and

7:45

it still sits in the cupboard for a

7:47

long time. And then you open it up in

7:49

six months, it's got moss on it. You know, like, what

7:51

happened? She was botulism. If she got

7:53

hit with air. Hey. Now that we're

7:55

on the planet, you better open up

7:57

operation new eve. Let's see what kind of

7:59

tub super job you have. guys.

8:02

It is funny too that when they do that,

8:04

when they go, like, get that, seriously.

8:07

That is there's two things that go on. looking at

8:09

a picture check, looking at a corpse. That's

8:12

an old woman, but then they also

8:14

had a dummy.

8:15

Mhmm. And you can see it in the movie because

8:17

when he first looks at the old

8:19

woman, her hands are crossed over her chest.

8:21

Uh-huh. And then when the ship starts to sink,

8:23

it's the dummy, and her arms are down by her

8:25

sides. And this is why Dana Gould never

8:28

stop getting his dick sucked all the

8:30

way through. My my life is an avalanche

8:32

of pussy. It's just not

8:34

literally raining, pun tag

8:37

because of these kinds of kid bets.

8:39

A bet, ladies. Calm down.

8:41

There's more to come. Alright.

8:43

Dana Gould and Studio,

8:46

we're gonna do -- Serve it. -- a little

8:48

he'll have sir. And now,

8:50

Brian has seen this

8:52

yesterday. Yesterday. And it was one

8:54

of those movies for me where was like, oh, I'm not

8:56

gonna see this and then I started hearing good things

8:58

about it. I heard you guys saying you'd heard good

9:00

things about it, so I don't wanna I don't wanna

9:02

do the thing where I sell it too low because then you're gonna go

9:04

out. This is a piece of crap and be like, ah, wasn't so

9:06

bad. It was not a

9:07

good film.

9:08

It was Sadly, because now, not a

9:11

good film. because I feel like along with

9:13

Captain America, two best trailers this

9:15

summer. I love the trailer for Rise of the Planet of the apes.

9:17

It was really good. not

9:19

a good film. Boring the CAC

9:22

minus. People confuse I will say

9:24

I haven't seen it yet. I'm gonna see it actually

9:26

tomorrow. Mhmm. I was traveling.

9:28

I wanted But,

9:29

yeah, the fact that it doesn't

9:32

suck is

9:33

great. It doesn't -- So people get

9:35

confused. Like, oh, that's great. And then then they go, the

9:37

movie's great. No. But it doesn't suck. There are

9:39

redeeming qualities, but overall, I would not say good.

9:41

And coming after the Tim Burton thing, it's like, well, the

9:43

last time I went out of the gang raped and

9:45

I had acid poured my eyes, that

9:47

time I just let somebody bite my fingers off.

9:49

So by and large, it wasn't too bad.

9:52

Dana, you should know, by the way, that I always

9:54

use you as an example of an actual

9:56

funny person. Oh, that's

9:58

great. Well, then I better change

9:59

up tonight. Yes. And

10:02

somebody who's undercompensated

10:04

for his ability. I

10:05

was I was trying to think of the people

10:08

who if you just did

10:10

a, you know, you can do it with athletic.

10:13

athletes as well. If you did it just a sort of

10:15

pure comedy to how much

10:17

you've made versus how much

10:19

you've made to comedy, I somehow

10:21

had Drew carried somewhere around the

10:23

top of my list of funny to

10:25

money. Yeah. And I

10:27

got nothing against Drew Carey other than he

10:29

doesn't seem particularly funny to me, but it's

10:31

made millions of dollars. Yeah.

10:34

Well, maybe Tim Allen is up

10:36

there. I don't know. I'm trying to And

10:38

Drew gains a lot. Doos and a great dude.

10:40

Which always helps. Right. because you guys dooshe

10:42

bag. Yeah. That that's bad.

10:45

You with a lot of pride would

10:47

probably beat the lower end. I bet you're right. at

10:49

the bottom of that spectrum. Yeah. Right. But

10:51

that means you're funny. III hope to I'd

10:53

like to think I'm funny. As I said to

10:55

somebody, to use the band analogy, when

10:57

I started out, you know, I wanted to be

10:59

the clash Mhmm. And I'm more I

11:01

think I'm big star. You

11:03

know? Good. See, we've never heard of them. See, it's

11:05

the band that, like, I don't know,

11:07

it's everything. It's like Yolai Tango.

11:09

All the music nerds have the album

11:11

-- Mhmm. -- the people that aren't music nerds don't

11:13

have it. But I'm happy. I'm

11:15

not you know, like to think of

11:17

myself as ax. And

11:19

Oh, I would love to be ax. I think I'm

11:21

good, but then soon as I get out of

11:23

Hollywood or California, no one's heard

11:25

of me. That's yeah. I I would be I'm

11:27

in ex territory too. I like where you

11:29

go. You don't know, ax and everyone goes, no.

11:31

Who are that? They go, oh, they're an awesome

11:33

band. They go, I've never. Yeah. That's

11:36

still awesome. And still awesome. Except

11:38

for Xene is a wild

11:40

hunt. Oh, really? Yes. She's like

11:42

She's not well now. So Oh, well,

11:44

now I'm going to hell, but she was one of the worst people.

11:46

probably kind of a welcome before then. One of

11:48

the worst people I ever interviewed

11:50

on Loveland. It's just bitches

11:52

and shit. Get out. Can I be Libby to

11:54

DaVita? What's that? Billy Joel

11:56

Drummer. Oh, yeah. For sure. I'll stick

11:58

that. Alright. we do it? I'll be sure

12:00

mix a lot. Shall we shall

12:02

we do a little huey

12:04

hauser? I think we should. I

12:06

think we owe it to the people. FUEL

12:08

is a fixture over here out

12:10

in SoCal. There's a little something

12:12

called California's gold. And

12:14

and he goes out

12:17

and just talks to people about

12:19

nothing and he's a huge

12:21

ex marine who

12:24

probably enjoys the company of other

12:26

marines. And where's the guard? he is at

12:28

all times now. He has you've

12:30

tagged them Well, because of the people I know, I know a lot of

12:32

people in town. Inevitably, I get a

12:34

tweet or a text today. I

12:36

am down here. Fuel houses here.

12:38

Alright. Don't come. They show up.

12:40

Right. Yeah. because you you'll be

12:42

stomped by because eventually, I am

12:44

gonna meet him. Yeah. The last thing he's gonna say

12:46

to me in his life is, I can't bury you

12:48

alive if you throw all the dirt out of the

12:50

hole when I shovel it in. So

12:55

I believe Heuel is doing

12:58

an old wood adventure. He's

13:00

gonna talk to some people about petrified

13:02

wood. Sounds like our intro. sounds like

13:04

a TV movie for Golden Girls have an

13:06

intro. Okay. Our

13:09

adventure begins. It's

13:11

time to break down the game film

13:13

from PBS's Fuel Howser.

13:15

This technically is

13:17

called Fuel's Fuel's

13:19

on the Adam Cool as you all.

13:24

Alright. And again, when he

13:26

went to the Baghdad Cafe

13:28

and interviewed the guy who was on the own

13:30

but not miked up who

13:32

was there and not there. I

13:34

mean, it's it's weird. Like, wouldn't you call

13:36

ahead to the Baghdad Cafe just to

13:38

find if they were open? and see if the manager

13:40

was there. You know, it's funny. He

13:42

is basically a Vincent Denafrio did

13:44

not off himself in full metal

13:46

jacket. Mhmm. He might have come out the other

13:48

end of that war and, b, he'll he'll

13:50

he'll yeah. It just got me

13:52

completely the other way. What

13:54

is your major malfunction?

13:56

I'm not And I see

13:58

a picture, Bert

13:59

Lancaster on the

14:02

wall. Did Bert come here

14:04

to the cafe or do you know

14:06

Bert?

14:11

You

14:11

you just had the picture. Okay.

14:14

It's like giant screaming to

14:16

me. I heard that. I was like,

14:18

Michelle. I'm in. But And then they went And

14:20

they didn't trim it up and post either. He went through

14:22

the old guy who was collecting gravel

14:24

and not geos, just aggregate. The

14:26

stuff that that turned cement into

14:28

concrete. that was all it was, the stuff that's in

14:30

your driveway as we speak,

14:32

in tombs forever, in the plastic

14:34

cement, the Portland cement. Alright.

14:37

Let's I think he's talking to some park

14:39

ranger about petrified wood. See

14:41

what we

14:41

got here. That could be any movie. It

14:43

was one of those California adventures

14:46

I'll never forget. The

14:48

day years ago, fucking

14:50

by your hop into the White Mountains

14:53

to see the oldest continuously

14:55

living things on Earth,

14:58

the Bristol cone time.

15:00

They're twisted and gnarly

15:02

and they should be. because

15:04

many of them are over three

15:06

thousand years old. There's

15:08

something to see. And

15:10

now all these years later,

15:12

I'm in the mood once again to

15:15

see some more old

15:17

California wood. So

15:19

that's what the cement is all

15:21

about. we're going in search

15:23

of some more historic old

15:26

California wood.

15:29

I wonder how to clear that music. I

15:33

thought some of the oldest knurled wood in

15:36

Cali foreigner was at Heff's Place. Yes.

15:38

Usually, you can find that floating in the

15:40

Corrado driftwood. I believe they

15:42

call it. Ladies who would like to spend ten

15:44

beautiful hours with Don Adams.

15:47

Not to say that. Who's actually been

15:49

dead? But still they've still

15:51

not removed him from the grotto. No

15:53

air. Would you believe John

15:55

Adams' corpse? I always and

15:57

it always had to be funny because because

15:59

Hugh Heffner, like,

16:01

played cards with the same, like, four guys

16:04

and watch old movies -- Don Adams.

16:06

-- Son Adams. Pat --

16:08

the Oh.

16:09

-- the Tonight Show writer -- Right.

16:12

Yeah.

16:12

You know who I mean -- Right. -- that

16:14

dude. Right. Yeah.

16:15

And and the the point is

16:18

is whoever the red buttons

16:20

was on the Whoever the twenty one

16:22

year old Flusi Desjardins, he

16:24

was dating at the time, imagine

16:27

him at explaining who Don

16:29

Adams was to and, you

16:31

know, it was a revolving door

16:33

of peroxide blonde

16:35

retard. He was currently fucking,

16:37

like, Don Adams is a

16:39

superstar. I guess I'm going

16:41

he can't be a superstar. I've never

16:43

heard of him. You show

16:45

back to what mister Adams. I don't think you understand

16:47

the vast sums of perspective. Mister

16:49

Adams is certainly

16:51

worth Perhaps you've heard of a little

16:53

film called The nude bomb. Do

16:55

we pretend you haven't heard from

16:58

nineteen seventy nine? he was a

17:00

pioneer before them. People

17:02

only spoke into high tops, not

17:04

wingtip. Alright.

17:06

So that is he will

17:08

and it's -- Yes. -- the new bomb. Don Adams. That's

17:10

when they made it was one of those it was

17:12

right up there with the Super Mario brothers

17:15

where They made the movie

17:17

eleven years after anyone gave a

17:19

shit about the TV series or

17:21

the video they have to redo again.

17:24

Right. You either there's a sweet spot

17:26

of either do it while

17:28

it's hot or letting new

17:30

generation whatever. They did it right.

17:32

It was it was the modern

17:34

day equivalent of the nude bomb was, like, the second

17:36

X Files movie. Mhmm. Like, what?

17:38

They did another. Yeah. Right. Like,

17:40

no one, it just It

17:42

hasn't been gone long enough for me to wanna see it again.

17:45

Right. Pat McCormick. Pat McCormick. McCormick.

17:47

Thank you, sweetheart. Yes.

17:50

Alright. That is a hue. Do we have

17:52

another clip of

17:54

a hue's gold? And

17:56

look at this. This is

17:58

why it wins that award when

18:01

you're standing right here

18:03

and looking at it. Trust me. I

18:05

don't know whether the camera does this justice

18:07

or not. We're kinda shooting through the

18:10

wire fence. It didn't do the Medino

18:12

factory justice. So I don't think

18:14

it's gonna do this.

18:16

real just

18:17

like bark on

18:19

a tree. Hold on. She's

18:21

saying bark grows on a tree. I'm riding

18:23

as fast as I can. Eul

18:26

was looking at a medium sized tree

18:28

that had fallen over. Eul had found the

18:30

one place in California where a tree fell

18:32

over and they fenced it off. Right.

18:35

Now, what you

18:36

have here looks

18:38

like a giant version

18:41

of something my granddaddy

18:44

called a twig. No. Is

18:46

that what I'm

18:46

looking at? When I heard there

18:48

was a giant fan stuff

18:52

nolly,

18:52

old chunk of wood here,

18:55

I naturally assumed I was

18:57

going to meet action great

18:59

Doug McClure. Now

19:01

you would expect when you saw a

19:04

tree fall in that it would

19:06

be made of wood, but I was

19:08

blown away that

19:09

it was covered in

19:11

something called bark. Now

19:13

I know

19:13

what you're thinking. Why do

19:16

dogs yell at a tree and how does

19:18

it stick? No. Here's

19:20

another thing

19:21

I've learned today. Words

19:23

have there are words with more than

19:25

one meaning. Mhmm. For

19:29

instance, gay could mean

19:31

happy, and it also

19:33

means you're in the eighteen ninety.

19:39

Alright. That is that

19:41

is a he will being blown away by,

19:43

again, a medium sized tree that You'll

19:45

being blown way by a large

19:47

piece of wood, this sentence has

19:49

also been said in a slightly altered

19:51

form. I

19:54

would, again, I think the

19:55

greatest thing you could do for somebody

19:57

is have you all just come by

19:59

and marvel at your mediocre life.

20:02

You say you're a postal

20:05

sorter. That's

20:06

amazing. Now, let's say as

20:09

a porch, It

20:11

seems to have wire

20:13

mesh separating it to

20:15

keep the bugs. I would describe this as

20:17

a fenced in porch. Yeah.

20:19

That's that's called a scream. I can't I gotta go to

20:21

the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I I

20:24

can't stand it. When

20:26

I get excited, I

20:28

just flush out. I flush out because I

20:30

go into panic. So I've got,

20:32

oh my Christ.

20:34

You have a I have to describe this.

20:36

If you can get in there, there's a small room

20:39

upstairs with what looks like a porcelain

20:41

bowl filled with water, build

20:43

end of the floor. No. That sets a toilet.

20:45

That's fine. Just go on to the kitchen sink

20:48

if I dump it in. No. No. No. It

20:50

just goes into a drainage pipe and I

20:52

can't imagine. You out of

20:54

everything. See how good you'd feel

20:56

about your one bedroom

20:58

apartment. He'll need to be part of the megawatch

21:00

foundation. Oh, man. And he can feel better. Don't

21:02

you get wet when it rains. You

21:04

can't see the sky. There's something

21:06

on top of the walls that protects you from

21:08

the sky. Let's call the roof

21:10

here. I gotta go again. I gotta

21:12

go again. Where's

21:14

the water bowl? Oh, thank god.

21:17

Mhmm. Yeah. Alright. Should we show

21:18

Sorry. I I got into I just

21:20

found the world's greatest picture of HUELOS or hang on a second.

21:23

Here we go.

21:24

Whoa. He

21:28

is interviewing the Osmond. Osmond.

21:30

and he looks like Clark King.

21:33

Yeah. Now, Jimmy here

21:35

does not know this, but

21:37

I was I eat his flesh,

21:39

I become him. Now

21:42

he's looking he

21:45

is looking quite longingly and if I'm mistaken.

21:47

Alan Osman. Wow. That would be

21:49

very sad if you knew the difference between

21:52

Alan. Looks like little Donny to the

21:54

left or the right. I can't

21:56

tell. But they were quite brazen and they're ripping

21:58

off of Elvis' stageware too. They

22:00

Did they rip in a parachute out of

22:02

an airplane? Yes. got his tailor

22:05

and said make us some

22:07

Elvis jumpsuits minus all the

22:09

extra material around the mid drift.

22:11

Could you send can you email me that photo?

22:13

Boy. May I also talk

22:14

about Hugh's hair in this photo? Mhmm. I think

22:16

he had it relaxed. text. Yes. Yeah.

22:18

It it is a I use

22:21

something called a hot

22:24

comb that women of

22:26

color turned me on too. That hairstyle

22:28

could only be described as the

22:30

Groovy Hitler. Yeah. That's

22:34

why Hitler had a yeah. If Hitler had

22:36

an record label -- Right. -- short lived

22:38

dance pad. Would you like to sing your songs

22:41

onto my labor? Right.

22:43

Hitler, it moderated. Fiscal model is basically what

22:45

that looks like. This is partridge. You

22:47

cannot ground Danny Tonight. He's

22:49

got to Braze the show.

22:53

Wow. That is a great shot.

22:56

Alright. Let's let's listen to

22:58

another And you can't say that's a Marie's not a mad shot

23:00

because she was already throwing That's

23:03

right. Wait a minute. Look

23:05

over here. Oh, you

23:07

go. Oh, gosh.

23:09

you can't touch these. Oh

23:12

my gosh. Look and

23:14

when the light hits it,

23:17

This

23:17

almost looks like

23:19

wood, doesn't it? These are considered some

23:21

of the best preserved petrified trees

23:23

in the world. kids. camera. This

23:25

is As opposed to those ones that

23:27

go bad over the weekend, the

23:30

texture. As I said, these

23:32

are very, very well reserved.

23:34

That wanna show you something over

23:36

here on the inside. What about if this

23:38

is stone? Not interested. Oh

23:42

my god. and so funny the guysy interviews with

23:44

always put on their best sweatpants

23:46

and concert tees. Like, it doesn't

23:48

get a whole lot. They can't even throw in a

23:50

pair of die knackers when you'll how

23:53

often are they interviewed? Yeah. Crazy. They they

23:55

always look like they're running a

23:57

bullet of this sect, but they're out in a way in

23:59

June, they're being

23:59

replaced by minerals. It it's

24:02

only I feel that way when I watch

24:04

people's court, like, when the chicks have the curlers in

24:06

their hair and the guys are wearing cut off

24:08

sweats and flip flops. Like, This is

24:10

core. It's core. I don't have

24:12

a fucking blazer for funerals

24:14

and weddings and chordades. And now

24:16

I still feel that we wanna see people who are in

24:18

flip swaps on the airplane. Right. Well, where are

24:20

you heading? I saw a guy in the

24:22

airport the other day. Literally

24:25

like Jim Shore and flip flops in a t

24:27

shirt getting on a plane. It's it's

24:29

in I'll see people wear a

24:31

traclops on an airplane rule, though, because because

24:33

you can walk her through security. slap them

24:35

off. I I listen to make people

24:37

listen to that sound. I

24:38

feel people traveling without

24:40

pockets. Yeah. That seems insane to

24:42

me. But yes. It's

24:43

like they're on the original Star Trek.

24:45

Yeah. That's the jumpsuits. Well,

24:47

they have an exterior pocket,

24:49

a fanny pack. Right. Do we have one more plaza?

24:52

Once they go into an airport, they go into a

24:54

plane, and and and and close that aren't what I would

24:56

describe as Boner proof. I

24:58

was about to say that you don't wanna be

25:00

caught outside your house and

25:02

something that is not going

25:04

to cover a boner. You

25:06

never know where Sure. gonna hit. Yeah.

25:08

Our airplane boners are a problem. Well,

25:11

let me let me give you which what I'd

25:13

call a volatile combination here. A

25:15

couple of micro low ball thrusts.

25:17

the

25:18

combined that with a cup I'm

25:21

looking looking at some pool toys in the

25:23

sky mall, which, of course, a couple decent

25:25

looking ladies -- Right. -- line on

25:27

a raft. Now you have a a

25:29

stewardess on the southwest who's under

25:31

fifty, who's making the rounds and keeping

25:33

herself in shape. It doesn't add little

25:35

unexpected turbulence. Oh, yeah. That's

25:37

the recipe for sky boner.

25:40

Yeah. Mhmm. And you're

25:41

not going anywhere. Can you wear a donor retardant

25:44

underwear? Mhmm. And no matter how much

25:46

that donor packer lights up, my

25:48

cock ignores. Yeah.

25:50

Mhmm. Yeah. A cat does the no

25:52

boner sign. That's right. You don't listen to

25:54

that. That's right. That is that would be a great

25:56

pickup line as you know, the cat and has let the

25:58

no boner sign, but I'm gonna be in violation of the

25:59

FAA. Tampering with disabling or

26:02

destroying the boner. Oh, there's no sky

26:04

muscles on this flight, if you know what

26:06

I mean? Alright. Do we have one more,

26:08

Mike? Fuel steering

26:10

it around here. Look

26:13

at

26:13

the size of this one. It

26:15

looks like the queen. That's

26:18

actually a dinosaur turtle.

26:20

Oh, man. this is everything I ever

26:22

hoped it would be. Look at this

26:24

scene. I'm gonna pause this for one

26:26

second. This one's called the Queen.

26:28

The Queen is everything he ever hoped it

26:30

would be. and and

26:31

look at the side. Yeah. And it's not

26:34

Pauline. It's just

26:36

an old piece

26:38

of rock. you

26:41

know, it's weird. He feels sort of smart

26:44

because if you want to try

26:46

to get a sit down with Leo

26:48

DiCaprio, you're gonna have to go through

26:50

some hoops. and talk to some

26:52

publishers, you know, get the run around and

26:54

probably get blown off. But if you wanna

26:56

talk to a guy in sweatpants, about

26:58

a tree that fell over. He's ready twenty

27:00

four seven. How do you know so much

27:02

about this forest? I live

27:05

here. I thought you're the ranger.

27:07

Oh, no. He's been dead for

27:10

years. I made a wind chime of

27:12

his bones. Somebody's

27:15

gotta maintain the thing that takes

27:17

no maintenance. Yeah. Essentially

27:20

a rock that is sitting

27:22

on a patch of dirt.

27:24

I'm the only one that knows how to talk to the

27:26

forest human. What I

27:28

like is that he tells

27:30

people about jewels. Like, he

27:33

he tells them is if they don't know what they're what

27:35

they have. Right. Yeah. Is that

27:36

the last one, Mike? That is

27:38

the last That is some old

27:41

wood. Speaking of

27:42

old wood, we're

27:44

going to come meet. See,

27:46

Bob Gucci onis. The

27:50

Great Huelhauser

27:52

and the Great Dana Gould. Dana,

27:54

I don't have your I'll

27:56

be out here. Well, I'm doing Lucha

27:59

Vavuong this

27:59

Thursday at the Mayan Theatre and I'll be

28:02

all Los Angeles, California,

28:04

which if you don't

28:05

If there isn't enough wrestling, if

28:08

there isn't enough mass Mexican

28:10

wrestling, there isn't comedy and

28:12

Burlese dancing in your life, Lucia

28:14

Vovum can solve that for you.

28:16

This Thursday, August eighteenth at the

28:18

Mayan Theatre. Also, September twenty

28:21

third and the twenty fourth Arlington Draft House --

28:23

Yeah. -- Arlington, Virginia -- And it's

28:25

-- Yeah. -- ways off, but and

28:27

I'll be back. Dave Kettner

28:29

and have a new monthly show going up in LA called Carneyville that

28:31

we'll be telling you all about. You love Mason

28:34

Koeckner. Just the fact that he named his

28:36

kids Sarge. is

28:38

that

28:38

all you need? He's good peeps. If

28:40

I can get my son who's about

28:42

sergeant's age to hang out, we can have sunny

28:44

and Sarge going together. That is a two

28:47

man Posey team. Right? Yeah.

28:49

Yeah. Who would you like to be

28:51

with Alfonzo and

28:53

Hector or Sunny and

28:55

Sarge, ladies? They'd be like Logan

28:57

and Liam are Sunny and Sarge. Yeah. That is

28:59

some powerful shit. Yeah. They're gonna have

29:01

names like yeah. The names

29:03

like the code and shit like that. What

29:05

are the horrible horrible dude

29:07

names? Tucker and Kelsey. Tucker

29:09

and Kelsey are sunniest. starts --

29:11

Oh. -- also meltdown

29:14

show at the meltdown on

29:16

sunset, and that would be tonight,

29:18

Thursday night or Wednesday night.

29:20

Sorry. Sorry. Where is the meltdown on

29:23

sunset?

29:23

Right across the street from Toy between

29:26

Fairfax and Lebriah. Should

29:28

we do a little more news? They

29:30

will all sit in and help us.

29:32

And now, the rest of the

29:34

news with Alison Rosen.

29:36

Real Madrid signed a seven year old. His

29:38

name is Leonel on hell

29:40

Quira, born born in Argentina, and

29:42

they signed him to a one year

29:44

contract. Madrid is

29:46

a soccer team. Why? Why

29:49

did they

29:49

sign him? because he's super good, and he'll begin

29:52

playing for the youth academy next

29:54

month. Quote, they only have to

29:56

be a

29:56

standout. Club spokesman, Juan Tapiador,

29:59

told the

29:59

Associated Press, we look for something different. That

30:01

quality or talent that makes them stand

30:04

out from the rest. And evidently, he's not the

30:06

youngest kid they've signed.

30:08

So

30:08

the question is, is seven years old,

30:10

too young to go pro? We

30:12

talked to their talent scout. I've

30:14

just been going through these soccer camps

30:16

in Madrid. There's something

30:19

about two soccer balls

30:21

in a nylon bag bouncing

30:24

against each other. Yeah. all

30:29

I know about soccer is if

30:31

I didn't hate soccer enough,

30:33

I do believe

30:36

believe Madrid won the World

30:38

Cup, I think it was last

30:40

year.

30:40

Spain won the World

30:42

Cup last year. Somebody checked

30:45

that out. All I remember is I was watching

30:47

a real sports feature

30:49

on the wild racism that takes

30:51

place in Europe -- Mhmm. -- to the

30:54

soccer players. always think that we've

30:56

got the market cornered on racism

30:58

in this country. We like to. We

31:00

like to feel that way and we never stop beating ourselves

31:02

up about it. you're a black

31:04

soccer player and you play

31:06

in Madrid, you will

31:08

have bananas chucked at you when you

31:10

do corner kicks. And by

31:12

the way, Not a

31:14

small group in the fifty thousand

31:16

plus stadium will start with the planet of the

31:18

Ayahu. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Thing when you're doing the

31:20

corner the entire stadium

31:22

will do the monkey call while

31:24

you're doing a corner cake. We don't lead the

31:26

world in anything, anything. I know. And

31:28

I remember thinking myself when I was watching this.

31:31

I'm racist and I'm offended. Yeah.

31:33

Okay? And I so I

31:35

just heard that Paraguay had passed us in date

31:37

rates. What? We

31:39

gotta get busy. We gotta get busy.

31:41

Dawson, get out there. Let's even the

31:43

score. The point is this. America

31:45

will always be the date rape in this

31:47

country. I remember watching this

31:50

real sports thing being fucking

31:52

disgusted at these horrible, and it's

31:54

sanctioned basically by the

31:56

country. And I thought Fucking Spain. You

31:58

guys are horrible drunkin

32:00

assholes. And again,

32:02

these black these poor black players are doing

32:04

cornerkicks and being healthed

32:06

with bananas and having monkey

32:08

calls. And again, the entire

32:10

stadium is doing it. And then

32:12

five weeks later, Spain goes on to win

32:14

the World Cup and I thought That's why

32:16

there's no God because the worst

32:18

fucking fans in the world

32:20

are now out celebrating their

32:22

World Cup victory. Yeah. I saw the same

32:24

special in its crazy. It cannot

32:26

be overstated how blatant

32:29

and, like, wild and essentially

32:31

de facto sanction. Right. And we don't really

32:33

say shit about it. Why? Oh,

32:35

they're European. They're so much more involved than we

32:37

are. for the culture. It's it's not

32:39

even that. It's not even gosh because it doesn't

32:41

fit the agenda that we have over here.

32:44

Right. And not just black by the way. They were crazy

32:46

about to remember the Jews. The Well, that's

32:48

alright. Oh, yeah. That's good. I mean, I kinda

32:50

see that. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Give me a lot

32:52

to think about that. They do have a long history of

32:54

not being kind. They have a They

32:56

kind of dig They're both sort of neo

32:58

Nazi, you know, sort of it's

33:00

basically it's it's sort of the gang

33:03

banger bleachers version of dodgers stadium,

33:05

except for with skinheads -- Right. --

33:07

over there in Spain. And

33:09

anyway, beat the Netherlands for the

33:11

World Cup last year. So No God.

33:13

Everybody. No God. Just be worse. And

33:15

and again, not a small group

33:17

within the stadium. entire stadium doing

33:19

the monkey chant. This special

33:21

that you guys both saw, was it making a

33:24

point about the racism

33:24

or that's just something that you noticed

33:26

in watching it? definitely

33:29

highlighted it.

33:29

That was the whole point of it. That was the

33:31

whole thing was you cannot be a black

33:33

player and play in certain European

33:36

leagues. Now this wasn't -- Right. -- now this

33:38

wasn't fifteen years ago. This two thousand

33:40

and ten, they're pelting guys with

33:42

bananas in the corn. They're fucking

33:44

horrible culture. And they win the fucking

33:46

world cup. Thanks God.

33:48

Nice message sent by the way.

33:50

Awesome message. You guys should be school

33:53

teachers. I'm talking about

33:55

God.

33:55

Seems like maybe maybe we have a clip because

33:57

there's a

33:57

staring out band. Oh, we just had a

34:00

photo there. Alright. Tapes a interview with what I'm

34:02

saying. Mhmm. Yes.

34:04

Tapes from an

34:04

interview with Jackie onassis in

34:07

which she said she thought LVJ

34:09

was behind JFK's assassination are about to be

34:11

made public. The tapes were made

34:13

by historian Arthur Sless

34:14

center JJBJ

34:16

sounds like a great Mexican superhero. Like,

34:18

he comes in, in the night, he

34:20

sucks your cock, and then there's one strong

34:23

-- Let me go get to the

34:25

party gone. And once again, I'll

34:27

be with, like, with, like,

34:29

you know, a z and

34:31

jizz across your chest you know, like, he finds out the

34:33

crime you're going to commit and then wonders if after you've had

34:35

a secular blowjob. Thank you. Do you still do

34:37

you still want to

34:40

get happiness I find

34:42

that the man's

34:45

passion for crime goes away

34:47

in his refractory period.

34:50

This was the work of -- LPJ -- praying,

34:52

that's a strum, that guitar strum

34:54

hit. I enjoyed staring at your

34:58

washboard abs. while draining

35:00

the scent of crime from your mother.

35:02

The tapes were made by

35:04

by a story in Arthur's licensure. Junior who

35:06

interviewed the former first lady within

35:08

month of

35:08

FK's nineteen sixty three

35:11

assassination.

35:11

She confided a session during that she

35:13

believed Johnson and a cabal

35:15

of billionaire Texas Tycoon orchestrated the assassination with Lee

35:17

Harvey Oswald. She also said she was well

35:20

aware of her husband's multiple affairs and

35:22

talked to

35:24

finding underwear from a nineteen year

35:26

old intern in their bedroom. By the way, by day, LBJ

35:29

poses as a harmless street

35:31

vendor with a

35:34

car with the propane tank on it selling the hot dogs out front of

35:36

the dodgers stadium. GatorO dogs. Yeah. Yeah. The GatorO

35:38

dogs were finite. I can do anything

35:40

with this shape. It becomes LVJET.

35:44

That's

35:44

right. And Jacqueline has a sound so much like

35:46

if you've ever heard interviews with her. She really

35:48

sounds like she knows what she's talking about.

35:51

And I just thought that maybe

35:54

Clinton Johnson was involved with

35:56

me too. I must

35:58

say this. she has a breathy, Marilyn Monroe

35:59

sort of sound. And

36:02

there's two things that are going on that are sort of

36:04

interesting. One, I learned from

36:06

love line

36:08

that when your victim of molestation, you get

36:10

that sort of trapped at that age. Oh,

36:12

that's When you listen to Marilyn Monroe,

36:17

That's how you realize,

36:20

oh, there's somebody who

36:22

was probably sexually abused and then

36:25

fetishized it and became the sort

36:27

of female, female, impersonator. Yeah.

36:30

understand. Super, like and and all just

36:32

using her sexuality constantly

36:34

and pushing it against people and all. So

36:36

but then you think, alright. Well,

36:38

the Kennedy guys were attracted to a

36:40

certain type, and then you have that

36:43

a Jacky O super breathy thing and

36:45

you kind of wonder, like, what was up

36:47

in their childhood and what makes them

36:49

sound like little girls And then

36:51

also, we lived in a society where chicks were supposed

36:53

to sort of sound like little

36:56

girls back in the

36:58

day. Yeah. was a

37:00

simpler time. Meaning, like,

37:02

we wanted you to sound

37:04

breathy and sort of feminine

37:06

and not So -- There's a lot of -- -- abby. -- there's a lot of screwy

37:08

stuff that went on at the Kennedy compound. One of the

37:10

things is in college when the

37:12

Kennedy gentleman would bring home their

37:14

college girlfriends, they

37:16

were advised to lock their door lest the ambassador

37:18

Joseph Kennedy senior might just

37:20

come in and this is gonna be good

37:22

for you. Oh, really? He he was

37:25

completely fine at going in and screwing

37:28

his kids' girlfriends at night in Sure. with it

37:30

at all. Well, it's not not normal.

37:32

It's under this

37:34

roof. Yeah. It's normal in Dana Gould's

37:36

America. It was a day. She also sounds she also

37:38

sounds a little, like, a higher

37:40

version of Paul Stanley. If you've ever

37:42

seen Paul

37:44

Stanley, everything kiss meets the phantom of the park. To demon

37:46

star child, Terry and Juul,

37:48

the trapped in the ferris wheel.

37:51

Yes. It does that he doesn't have a

37:53

rock and roll. Some speaking voice. But

37:55

some of the greatest special effects ever

37:57

laid down on film and We

37:59

can't find our magic

38:02

talisman. And then

38:06

Oh god. I need some more

38:08

reverb on the speaker, please. Can I ask this, whether

38:10

it was the village people

38:12

or kiss or Even

38:15

the Beatles. Has there ever

38:18

really been a and and

38:20

sunning chair? It it it

38:22

goes on. when people said and I'm sure there's ones we can't even think

38:24

of. Paul Revere and the raiders or

38:26

hermans or something where somebody

38:28

says, you guys

38:30

are hot we need to

38:32

make a movie -- Mhmm. --

38:34

where it's ever really worked out. You

38:36

know? Right. Maybe -- Yes. -- you could

38:38

say m and m. Spice Girls maybe five

38:40

days night. Yeah. But and that movie was only

38:42

made to sell the soundtrack

38:44

album. But how good is Hard

38:46

Day's nights

38:48

very watch it today. No. It's good.

38:50

It is good. Alright. It is good. Alright. Help. Am I a lot much? Am I a lot disagree

38:52

with Dana? Go ahead. Sure. It

38:56

doesn't hold up. IIA huge Beatles fan.

38:58

I love hard days and I'm one of my favorite albums

39:00

of all time. Movie

39:02

feels a really dated. like, kind of,

39:04

like, you know, outdated. But Yeah. But I'm saying, I don't know if you'd watch it today and

39:07

be like, that's a fine film. You know, you can

39:09

certainly watch it, like, that's a fun

39:11

movie in nineteen sixty four. Gentlemen can disagree, Brian. There you go.

39:13

Alright. Well, not not a stink of wearing like a

39:16

like a sudden share that's

39:18

made. No.

39:20

Or don't But kissing the phantom of the paradigm.

39:22

Stroller coaster. Kissing me phantom of the park.

39:24

Right. Not know

39:27

fence to the actor in question,

39:29

but if Anthony Zerbe is in the movie, there's trouble

39:31

of foot. I heard the Justin

39:33

Bieber movie was

39:36

very good. And that'll be that. My friend Dan

39:38

cut forth directed at movie. And I will

39:40

say this. magical

39:42

elves. went by -- Yes.

39:44

-- when they do the one on ones

39:46

like the eight miles, they seemed

39:48

to be alright. And and once

39:50

in a while, like, when Beyonce makes

39:52

the move to the big screen and stuff. It's when

39:54

the whole group -- Yeah. -- when they Because why

39:56

did something for the whole But the chances that drummers

39:58

gonna know how to

39:59

act. Right. Alright.

40:00

Sorry. We're warwick. So Jack ENS has also

40:02

got re her own revenge by having

40:04

affairs of

40:05

her own with actor

40:07

William Holden and

40:08

Fiat founder Gianni Agnelli.

40:11

And now how How

40:12

does that work? Like, well, I'd like

40:14

to fuck the guy from Ferrari. Do we have?

40:17

No. Okay. How about

40:19

Maserati? See, not not available?

40:21

Did she about

40:23

Lancia? No. Nothing. Nothing

40:25

there. Oh oh, Lamborghini. Yeah. About

40:27

Lamborghini? No.

40:29

Earl Shide.

40:30

How about Earl Shide?

40:32

really,

40:32

I gotta fuck the guy from Fiat. Really?

40:35

So basically, the guy makes the

40:37

Cal Worthington wasn't available. The equivalent

40:39

of the Ford Pinto

40:42

in Italy. In Italy, the other day, Pinto. Gotta

40:44

fuck him. Now was that during John of Kennedy's life,

40:46

or did she say she had an affair, although

40:48

her husband was in heaven? No. I

40:51

believe it was during. Mhmm. All good for her. Yeah. So Fiat

40:53

is really that kind

40:55

of shitty car

40:56

in Italy. because

40:58

in sweet valley high, Jessica and

41:00

Elizabeth Wakefield drove a Fiat.

41:02

I I will

41:04

I will I will you

41:07

that. I will tell you this. The the pecking order

41:09

is probably Ferrari, Lamborghini,

41:12

Maserati, Alfa Romeo,

41:14

Lancia, and, you know, six

41:16

other things and then Fiat. And let's let's I'll

41:19

put it to you this way. If you

41:21

had a rich stepfather and

41:24

he said, I bought you an Italian

41:26

sports car and go outside in a few minutes

41:28

and hear the keys and you walked out and you saw

41:30

a Fiat sitting there, you'd be

41:33

good

41:33

and pissed. Right. That's how I give you

41:35

guys a different pinto. Yeah. They're at

41:37

the bottom. The bottom of

41:40

the of the Italian car pecking order.

41:42

She feel

41:42

like she just wasn't briefed

41:44

enough. Mhmm. She

41:46

asked the tapes not be released until

41:48

fifty years after her death, but

41:50

her daughter decided to release them earlier

41:53

Possibly,

41:53

in exchange for ABC dropping its

41:55

ten million dollars series about the

41:58

family, these tapes will air on ABC. Oh,

41:59

that's right. Why do they do that thing where they go?

42:02

They'd ask this, but I'm gonna go

42:04

ahead and destroy my mother.

42:06

I'm gonna destroy

42:08

my mother wishes by doing this anyway.

42:10

Why don't you just go? She asked that they'd be released in nine and a

42:12

half years? Or Yeah. Alright.

42:15

thirteen and a

42:17

half. Yeah. Why this is not an issue that makes you look douchey? And this is how

42:19

she pronounce nine and a half. That's

42:21

fifty. Right. So I'm like

42:23

fifty. What is She

42:26

went after she went after Jan Yes.

42:29

Jan Jan. Right?

42:31

Yeah. Yeah. What's she

42:33

been done? No. She died she died before he died before. Oh,

42:35

before. Wait. Did I feel didn't she die in ninety

42:37

four? She died before he did. She died. She's been he's

42:40

been over fifteen years now.

42:42

Ninety four? I

42:43

got it wrong ago? No, anyway. The point

42:45

is, it's camelot. But

42:47

people say

42:48

that all the time. Yeah. I

42:50

just not Yeah. When Americans can't

42:53

and when he died, we lost our innocence. That's

42:58

my baby. When he died -- I love it. -- I was right. That is Ninety

43:00

four. She died in ninety four. When he died,

43:02

John Junior died. It was just

43:05

especially in Massachusetts, The news was

43:08

just a buccaki of

43:10

clips of women going, dare I

43:12

royalty? Right. Right. They're like

43:14

a royalty. Get

43:15

that fucking camera out of my face and

43:18

goddamn queer. They're royalty.

43:20

I'll tell you and I'll tell you the I'll tell

43:22

you suffer the most with our own mayor. Viragosa

43:24

here because the only guy who'd failed the bar more than

43:26

him was now dead, thus leaving him

43:28

at the top of the mountain of idiots

43:30

who failed the bar four times. He's

43:34

like, yeah. The like, you gotta do, like, do one of those things where he

43:36

broke his pencil. Why? Like, he's so he

43:38

wants you to steal, like, damn it.

43:41

The only guy could point at it was dumber

43:43

than me. It's now tragically flown as plane

43:45

into the ocean. Yeah.

43:48

Alright.

43:48

Right. Here are ten home projects

43:50

you should never attempt to do yourself.

43:52

And I thought I'd bring this listing, Adam, because

43:55

I feel like you'll know.

43:56

whether this is true or not. I I will tell you

43:59

that you will strap in the email. It depends what

44:01

we're talking about here, but I can tell

44:03

you the I'm gonna clean

44:05

my own gutters out with my

44:07

bad balance and my tinnitus and my arthritic hip in

44:09

my sixties on this rickety a

44:11

frame ladder leads to

44:13

a shattered pelvis. So

44:15

I had off the ladder, old man. I had that

44:18

moment leaning over literally

44:20

on my roof during

44:22

El Niño

44:23

in ninety eight. Literally,

44:26

like, home alone leaning over the

44:28

gutter on my roof at night in

44:30

the rain and suddenly just like, this

44:33

is

44:33

a dumb idea. like

44:35

halfway through the job. I was

44:37

just like, this

44:38

is stupid. It it's it's one

44:40

of these things. And by the way, El Niño

44:42

is the sidekick of LBJ.

44:45

Oh, yeah. If you know that. He fondles he

44:47

fondles your balls and the ice. Yes. He kept your

44:49

If I'm going to another blood job, this

44:51

baby will finish

44:54

this one. By the way, I feel forehand. It it's happened to me a million times where

44:56

it's like you're sort of you're, like, up on a

44:58

ladder. And instead of moving

45:00

the ladder, or three feet the

45:02

south, you go, I can get it from here

45:04

and you're sort of leaning over. And as you're

45:06

looking down, you're looking at uneven cement

45:09

stack and some hardscaping and a

45:11

rose bush. And you realize, if I

45:13

fall here, I'm going to break a

45:15

few things, possibly

45:18

my head. guys get fucked up all the time doing this.

45:20

But anyway, give me your list. Garage

45:22

doors is at the top of my don't mess

45:24

with them. Proof on

45:26

here. That's well, that's they falling off.

45:28

Why won't why won't

45:31

LPG stop that? You're going to

45:33

repair over in the rain. Maybe

45:35

these window replacement.

45:40

Yeah. That's a polished,

45:42

polished order.

45:43

Exterior painting. I

45:45

feel like

45:46

you could handle that. But again,

45:48

it's the prep. And it's also

45:51

and it's it's It's

45:52

a job that doesn't look like it's gonna take a long I'll do this.

45:55

Exactly. The goal of many DIY

45:57

projects is to save

45:58

jackson save time

45:59

time. But this one is a definite time suck that

46:01

requires a good deal of expensive tools and materials, do yourself

46:03

and your neighbors a favor, and avoid making

46:05

it mistake. The whole block

46:08

will have suffered along with you. Hirebroke. Time suck, the name of

46:10

LPGA's horse, by the

46:12

way. Time

46:14

suck. Quick. would

46:17

These are Santa Claus. I have seven thousand road jobs to do in the next fifteen

46:19

minutes. I need your time shock. Why

46:21

would window installation be

46:23

on the list? that especially

46:26

difficult? It does well,

46:28

first off, that is way beyond

46:30

the sort of honeydew sort of thing. I

46:32

they're talking about busting out the whole jam and the whole thing and the Something

46:34

involving cladding. It's it's gonna

46:36

leak, but let the pros handle

46:39

it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. HVAC.

46:42

Mhmm. I don't even know what it is.

46:44

The heating and air? Yep. Mhmm.

46:46

Would you agree that

46:47

you should not do

46:49

anything with Well, you could definitely

46:51

maintain it, clean your filters, and

46:53

all up, you know, and all that kind of stuff.

46:55

A a quick tip Your and Dana, you have

46:58

young kids and you live in

47:00

Hollywood and you do well and

47:02

your wife

47:04

does well. A lot of people

47:06

don't know that you should have your system in ducks cleaned out.

47:08

Oh, we do. Periodics. Oh, we haven't done. Because

47:10

otherwise, you just got shit

47:13

circulating into more shit. Breathing you're breathing

47:16

crap. It's like -- Right. -- LPGA could help with --

47:18

Mhmm. LPGA. -- that's

47:20

right. Do shout that

47:22

duck. Yeah. add times I

47:24

will call and threaten to rob a

47:26

bank just to get LVJ to stop

47:28

me. I received a

47:30

ransom note.

47:32

And in your hand me the glass, then you remove my teeth and stop this

47:34

crime. Just cleaning out the ducks something

47:36

you can do on your own. Or is that also best level

47:38

-- Yeah. -- get pro's gotta do

47:42

that. Yeah. addic insulation? No. A lot of

47:44

fiberglass. It's hard because you can do it. You can't

47:46

blow your own cellulose. Although,

47:48

LBJ knows blown cellulose. Well, Ron,

47:50

Jeremy can blow his own cellulose. In the old days,

47:52

I don't know if he can get down there. I could blow my

47:54

own cellulose. I would never leave the house. Do you

47:56

know what I'm saying?

47:58

structural changes. Mhmm.

48:00

Yeah.

48:01

Gutter repair.

48:02

Yeah. Again, you're on you're on

48:04

that

48:05

airframe. Installing decking. They're

48:07

basically

48:08

just saying, hey, almost.

48:10

Stay at home and turn the

48:12

air on. Right? Like -- Mhmm. -- they're telling you

48:14

don't do

48:15

away. They're like they're part

48:16

of the problem of the wasification of America? Well,

48:19

I think, you know,

48:20

the thing about, like, doing a deck

48:23

every guy should just say I tried once in my

48:26

life. Maybe it looks like shit and maybe

48:28

some guy knows what he's doing as to come in and

48:30

redo it for you, but at least you gave it

48:32

a shot. And with the Internet these days, I feel like there's a

48:34

tutorial on everything. I

48:36

think the problem with the deck is more

48:38

of the structural

48:40

soundness of it than the

48:42

ability to play blanks.

48:44

Pretty straightforward stuff. I

48:46

learned how to

48:46

use a plunger via the Internet. Yes.

48:49

Oh, yeah. Base I was a

48:52

line from born innocent, the Linda

48:54

Blair movie. Here's last

48:56

name. Basement waterproofing and tree

48:59

removal. It's not aule

49:00

house or about tree removal. Mhmm. You

49:02

can't remove a tree. I guess they don't want

49:04

you to get the forget

49:07

that you'll need to figure out what to do with

49:09

the tree once you've knocked it down and consider

49:11

the time you'll spend measuring and

49:12

preparing for the fall. There are a lot

49:15

of factors that play here that a national tree

49:17

remover will be much better equipped to handle. I think a lot of people have damaged

49:19

their house just assuming their tree was gonna

49:21

fall a certain way. Yeah.

49:24

It does. Well Yeah. If you ever see Tom Berger on setting

49:26

up a clip that involves a tree

49:28

and a guy taking it down, it

49:30

never goes in the direction in

49:33

the dude once at the going.

49:36

Alright. Real quick. I'll stop your head. How many of those

49:38

have dude done to your

49:40

own house? He's

49:40

a bro. Gutter's windows. Yes. When he he

49:42

makes no waterproofing insulation. I've

49:46

done a structural deck. Oh.

49:49

Yeah. I work. I haven't

49:52

done too much h HVAC

49:56

work. heating, vent, and cooling, air

49:58

conditioning. I've done

49:59

everything times ten. I'm I'm

50:01

a fucking maniac, but I

50:03

mean, I'm not as as I as

50:06

I've said oh,

50:08

well, I guess I am By doing

50:11

do you mean calling the guy? because then

50:13

I'm with you. I but it's it's weird, was

50:15

a you know this, Dana. Once you do

50:17

comedy, you can do nothing else.

50:19

Like, everyone just goes, oh, come

50:22

on. I'll get out of here. Oh, please.

50:24

But I was a maniac. I

50:26

remain a maniac and I did it for a

50:28

goddamn living. I worked sixty five

50:30

hours a week, drove a truck, had a

50:32

lumber rack, and a bedbox on it. I was

50:34

a contractor, and that's all I

50:36

did. It wasn't like well, I waited

50:38

tables, and it's bar tending. And then

50:40

when I wasn't at the groundlings during the

50:42

day, I was over building

50:44

decks, I just built

50:46

custom houses. And I had this weird background and

50:48

that I worked with European

50:50

Cabinet Shop, so I know the

50:52

whole metric system and the whole

50:54

Euro cabinet setup, which is a

50:56

completely different setup. I worked at

50:58

regular American Cabinet Shop and

51:00

done tons of laminate work I've done tons of

51:02

custom work, tons of furniture,

51:04

tons of finished work. I have done

51:06

foundation. I've done framing. I've done

51:08

structural shit. I've done high

51:10

brake rehab. for the city of

51:12

Los Angeles. Don't be one upper, like I

51:14

said before. You know all of it.

51:16

And sadly, I'm very sad to say,

51:18

well, everyone else was

51:20

at college or getting laid or breaking into

51:22

whatever profession they're now,

51:24

and that's what I was doing.

51:26

Twenty four

51:28

fucking seven. So That is

51:30

another thing that you and I have in common that we'd

51:32

never discussed. We don't have

51:34

those great

51:36

college memories. No. Well, you went to college. I went but I

51:38

was just I was already a standup. I Oh,

51:40

really? I was literally was a place to be

51:42

during the day. and you were doing stand

51:44

up and No. That was up to stand up. At least you knew what

51:46

the hell you were gonna do?

51:48

Yes. And that didn't require a college

51:50

degree. Right. That too. Yeah.

51:52

I I swear to god, I used to watch

51:54

those I'd watch those

51:56

movies like St. Almost Fire -- Oh, yeah. --

51:58

and I'd see, like,

52:00

changing in the Ivy on the side of the brick

52:02

facade and those guys playing their little

52:04

pickup football games out in the grass

52:06

and the guys burning

52:08

leaves in the back. And I'm just sitting in North

52:10

Hollywood, melting dumping roofies into a

52:12

punch bowl. None of those

52:14

rocks. None of the great dreams

52:16

of having a great freak out in a room

52:18

where the windows are billowing? Yes.

52:20

Yeah. No. My wife my wife was

52:22

like, she she went to college.

52:25

You know, and I got and I

52:27

got nothing. That's the whole thing. Like, when

52:29

people say, I'm going Arizona state, I'm like,

52:31

when you go to college. Don't you wanna go somewhere where there's

52:33

some Ivy and some brick? And, I mean, it doesn't have to be

52:35

literally an Ivy League school, but just a place where

52:37

the leaves change colors and everything

52:40

like that. Yes.

52:42

And no. You don't want to go there.

52:44

Tempe? Yes. I mean, you want a bunch

52:46

of aluminum windows and beige -- That's

52:48

terrible. -- girls coming of age. Yeah. Flat

52:50

roofs with white rocks on it?

52:52

Alright. Allison, you're waiting for that

52:54

perfect time to start your dream business? How did you

52:56

know? Yes. Hueelhauser? How about

52:58

you? You think about starting

53:00

a business? have a lot of experience with

53:02

lawyers. And how about

53:04

LBJ? My friend, if you are

53:06

thinking of studying in business, I would like to

53:09

speak to you in this on the

53:11

sec for one moment. See, one hundred percent

53:13

satisfaction. Well, that's LPGA. right

53:15

there. Brian, we need

53:17

the guitar struck. I'll find out. I'll find

53:19

the science guitar. Yeah. No job

53:22

is one of the few things that people

53:24

that's a gift no one returns. That's

53:26

right. And it's rarely regifted. I found. Even a

53:29

bad one's good. This episode is

53:31

brought to you by Zelle. Whenever

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thank you to listener Angela

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for requesting that. Alright. Let's get going to

54:35

our second clip.

54:38

Now, in the news this week. We got the the sad

54:40

news like Kirsty Alley passed

54:42

away. A beloved actress, she

54:45

was a guest on the show back in

54:48

really hit it off to where to

54:50

where when I found out that

54:52

Kircie died, I

54:54

was like, oh my god. Adam's gonna be so

54:56

bummed. Weirdly, that was one of my first

54:58

thoughts because Adam

55:00

truly, truly

55:01

loved Kirsey Alley and they

55:03

got along so well on the pod. We

55:05

definitely replied on having her back like it

55:07

it was just real because it

55:09

it caught everybody by surprise. So we played a little bit

55:11

of their interview on

55:14

the Coral

55:16

Show earlier this week, and it was weird because

55:18

I remember we recorded that one, I

55:20

believe, on a Sunday. And Adam asked to

55:22

do a one on one with them.

55:25

And so I had Gina and Brian coming

55:28

in later on just for the news

55:30

segment of the show. And you'll you'll

55:32

hear it in the episode,

55:34

but Adam says, you know what? I'm having

55:36

too much fun. Let's just keep this

55:38

show going. to

55:40

where I had to tell Gina and Brian, and I wonder if we please turn around. We

55:42

don't work good. Adam is just

55:45

he's not even close to being

55:47

done with KFC. Right? now. And

55:49

that might have been the longest atheist interview

55:51

in history. It went two hours

55:53

and sixteen minutes.

55:56

I'd have to do some checking, but that that's up there. Yeah. That's

55:58

definitely a record breaking territory for one

56:00

solid interview. Yeah. I remember I heard

56:04

it went live when aired and the YouTube video posted and

56:06

I was walking my dogs around the

56:08

park near my where I live. And this was in twenty

56:10

twenty and like twenty twenty is a bit of a blur

56:12

for everybody. And then with

56:14

podcasts, there were, you know, a lot of them were very

56:16

samey. Corolla showed a very good job

56:18

avoiding that. But even with that, it'd be weird

56:20

to remember an episode. I remember clear's day where it was

56:22

when that episode posted and where I was, like,

56:24

when I started and when I was listening to it.

56:26

Yeah. It it was it was such a

56:28

good episode and she was nice

56:30

even when we're we're seeing if

56:32

we can go longer. She totally was gay.

56:34

She didn't she didn't look annoyed

56:36

even in the slightest. She seemed

56:39

it. genuinely be having a great time on the show too. And you'll be

56:41

able you'll hear it. Like, she's just she's exactly

56:43

what you want for a podcast

56:46

guest. It's odd because Adam has these

56:48

definitive interviews with people he's never

56:50

talked to or he's only

56:52

referenced tangentially on shows

56:54

over the years. And the thing, like, even with

56:56

the phone thugs and Army, That was

56:58

the greatest bone thugs interview ever done, and he has no

57:00

idea about how you fit how you just stumbled

57:03

like mister McGue into the best bone

57:05

thugs interview. It was Kirsty alley.

57:07

This might be the most comprehensive and in-depth

57:09

interview she's ever done without a

57:11

specific slant angle or agenda. It's

57:13

just like everything. And if Adam had it done it, this

57:15

milestone, this thing wouldn't be left behind for

57:18

people to look back at like Adam always talks

57:20

about and kinda get to know her better. I've been

57:22

a fan ever worked

57:24

for thirty years, and I had no idea

57:26

any of this stuff about her. So I selected some nice

57:28

chunks to play. They're a little bit longer than the clips

57:30

you guys chose. couldn't play the full thing

57:32

if you wanna hear. Of course, it's available. I

57:34

highly recommend it. It's Adam Krolla show

57:36

twenty eight seventy eight Kirsty Alley, Genogram,

57:38

Brian Bishop did not show up on

57:40

this episode. because Kirsty was too good of an interview.

57:42

It's from August of twenty twenty. If you

57:44

guys didn't hear it then, we'll see these clips now. And if

57:46

you get hooked, listen to the full

57:48

episode.

57:49

Alright. Well, we're

57:52

gonna keep going with Kirsty Alley here

57:54

because I'm finding this

57:56

conversation. So stimulating. So thanks for staying with this

57:58

person. Say that stimulating could be taken the

57:59

wrong way. Oh, yeah.

58:02

On on

58:04

on point. I

58:06

have so many questions for you. But

58:08

let's talk about the cheers and

58:10

the set and some of the

58:12

some of the stuff you guys did

58:15

over there back in the day. Where'd

58:18

you shoot that? You're

58:19

about. And

58:20

how many seasons

58:22

were you on it? Six. So

58:25

they did five and then that you did six. Yeah. Eleven

58:28

seasons. Eleven

58:30

seasons overall. So

58:33

whoever

58:33

if they kept doing the show forever, I would've

58:36

kept doing it forever. I was

58:38

the best it

58:40

was it was really a

58:42

dream come true because

58:44

I loved every

58:46

single person on that past

58:48

and crew. There was just no

58:50

bad egg. There was no

58:52

animosity. We were all very

58:54

different people, but we all it

58:58

was just the most fun I've ever had in my life. Did

59:01

would Woody

59:02

Harrison was just

59:03

kinda getting started back

59:06

then. Right? And he Yeah.

59:08

He seemed like an unlikely

59:10

star. Like, if anyone watches

59:14

Cheers.

59:14

And they say Woody you see Woody Harrison on

59:16

Cheers? He doesn't you wouldn't predict

59:18

that that guy would have such a

59:22

huge

59:22

theatrical career after that.

59:24

He seemed his character was kind of

59:26

well, his name was

59:27

Woody, and he and it was it was kind of

59:29

a weird guy and he didn't

59:31

have that sort of Matt Neidl good looks or

59:34

anything. He would have never predicted

59:36

that he broke out of that

59:38

and became a huge

59:40

star, especially a leading man. Did

59:42

you see that in him?

59:44

I I

59:44

saw it because when

59:46

Woody would flirt with me, I

59:48

I was married, didn't stop Woody. Woody

59:50

would flirt with me. He was so charismatic,

59:53

you know, that

59:55

the that I could

59:56

see that he could very easily be a leading

59:59

man. And he was

59:59

always breaking

1:00:02

girls' hearts. He would

1:00:03

what Woody would do is he

1:00:06

would he would bring

1:00:07

his dates over and spend tonight at

1:00:09

my house. You know what? I never asked Woody

1:00:11

why he was doing that. But

1:00:13

I I guess because I had a big bad ass house

1:00:15

and it was sort of cool and fun. I don't

1:00:17

know why. And I don't maybe Woody was living in

1:00:19

an apartment. I don't know. But

1:00:22

he'd his girlfriends over. And then he would go

1:00:24

to sleep, you know, whatever. They

1:00:26

do whatever. And then he'd go to sleep. And then his

1:00:28

girlfriends would

1:00:30

sort of come

1:00:30

up and sometimes knocked on my door, and then he broke in their

1:00:32

hearts. And so I could tell he

1:00:35

was

1:00:35

a leading man in real

1:00:38

life. because all the women love Woody Hales.

1:00:40

So then when I started seeing

1:00:42

and, you know, he's so endearing on chairs,

1:00:45

you know, he plays the

1:00:48

he's the philosophy of life and, you know,

1:00:50

he's the sort of the sort of the

1:00:52

dim wooded woody guy, but he's also

1:00:54

the heart and the philosophy. of

1:00:58

of the show. And that's how

1:01:00

Woody is in real life. Oh my

1:01:02

god. I'll tell you the funny. I'll tell you

1:01:04

the best thing Woody ever did. Okay.

1:01:07

So what do you know you should play? Hank, back

1:01:09

forth, back forth. I was filming a movie with John Revolga,

1:01:11

and

1:01:11

we were in

1:01:14

Canada. and we were

1:01:15

filming really, like, and I hate night

1:01:18

shooting. I just I I'm bad at

1:01:20

night. And so then this

1:01:22

captain came we were building in a

1:01:24

an airport. And his captain

1:01:26

came up to me and he said,

1:01:29

my

1:01:29

son is

1:01:31

handicapped he's severely retarded. He's been in a bad

1:01:33

car accident. If you could come right

1:01:36

after you're done filming, if you could just come say

1:01:38

hi to him, it would mean the world to him because

1:01:40

he he just loves you. on

1:01:42

chairs. And I said, okay. Oh my god. This is so

1:01:44

exciting. So we were filming. It's two o'clock in the

1:01:46

morning. So I go

1:01:48

up and here's this child and this wheelchair. And he's

1:01:50

it looks like he's about fourteen or fifteen. And he's he's

1:01:53

all bandaged and and I

1:01:55

that cast us them in the crew standing around a

1:01:57

little bit, and I kneeled down because he's in a

1:01:59

wheelchair

1:01:59

and I go hi, it's really nice

1:02:02

to meet you, and he goes, I love

1:02:04

you. And I said, well, I love you

1:02:06

too. And he goes, I know I

1:02:08

love you. I love

1:02:10

you too. I'm so glad I get to meet you.

1:02:12

We put his arms on my shoulder. He goes, I

1:02:14

love you. I love you. And I go, I love

1:02:16

you. I love you too. And then he's

1:02:18

got his arms around me and he goes, I love you.

1:02:20

I love you. And I'm like, can't love

1:02:22

each other and sort of looking around, like,

1:02:25

he he's, like, getting a little carried away

1:02:27

here. I'm pretty soon. He's, like, pulls

1:02:29

me out of the wheelchair. He

1:02:31

he has me

1:02:32

out, like, around and he's like, I

1:02:34

love you. I love you. I love you.

1:02:36

He's

1:02:36

rolling around on top of me. I'm

1:02:38

glad you guys help. And the whole crew is

1:02:40

now it's like a twilight zone movie. The

1:02:42

whole crew surrounding me. It was woody. It

1:02:44

was woody in the

1:02:46

was what in the wheelchair wheelchair? It

1:02:48

was woody. He'd come in. He'd bandaged himself all

1:02:50

up. He was, like, humping me on the floor. Go

1:02:52

ahead. I love you. I love you. And I'm, like, oh,

1:02:54

this is a handicap boy. I can't do it.

1:02:56

I can't make him stop. because

1:02:58

that would be wrong. And What

1:03:01

did flown

1:03:02

into

1:03:03

Canada? He flew into Canada to

1:03:05

do that rank. Just

1:03:07

just

1:03:07

for that. Just for

1:03:09

that. Wow. And oh my god. I was and and

1:03:12

I was crying. I literally he took it

1:03:14

so far that I was literally crying and begging

1:03:16

someone to help me. It was

1:03:18

a

1:03:18

crew in on it? Yes.

1:03:20

They must have been. Yeah. Everyone was in our

1:03:22

bed here. Like, help me.

1:03:23

He's gonna hurt himself. He I just been told

1:03:25

he's been in a car wreck.

1:03:26

So I'm like, help me. He's he's

1:03:28

gonna he's gonna irritate me. So if you guys, come

1:03:30

on, you guys. And he got a

1:03:32

captain like an airline captain to come

1:03:34

talk to you?

1:03:35

less. Wasn't even

1:03:36

a real airline captain. He was an actor

1:03:38

that was I think maybe he was,

1:03:40

like, you know, a stand in I mean, not

1:03:43

a stand in. Maybe he was and we were

1:03:45

we were shooting in an airport situation, so it seemed very real. But

1:03:47

anyway, that was the story of we

1:03:50

that was every single day on

1:03:52

cheers for

1:03:54

six years. And he would bring his girlfriends

1:03:56

to your house because you had

1:03:58

a big house.

1:04:00

and And I

1:04:02

guess, have sex with them in some room. I mean, there's like like a

1:04:04

guest room. Wing down this way, but a couple

1:04:06

of times when he knocked on my door, and now he'd

1:04:08

been drinking when he knocked on my

1:04:09

bedroom door, remember I'm married. I'm in

1:04:12

there with my husband. And where do we go? Like, do

1:04:14

you wanna come out here with me? And I

1:04:16

go, no. What do I don't? And

1:04:18

you go, God.

1:04:18

I just have some fun. I go, Woody, God, get out. And he would

1:04:21

he's so young, you know, at the

1:04:23

time. And he would

1:04:26

You go, okay. Sometimes you would have a girl downstairs and you would still sort

1:04:28

of do that. Flurp, we were all sort

1:04:30

of flurting with each other.

1:04:33

yeah Yeah. Well, Ted's a pretty

1:04:35

good looking dude. Ted was good looking. Ted

1:04:37

is a really good kisser.

1:04:40

Oh, really? Yeah. You

1:04:42

know, I had to see you know, Chad and I are jacking

1:04:44

around the whole show. Everybody's always jacking around on that

1:04:46

show. We're never paying attention. It looks like we

1:04:48

don't even Even though. It

1:04:50

doesn't even look like we're

1:04:53

actors at all or that we're putting

1:04:55

on a show at all. But then

1:04:57

in the scenes where a couple of times I had to cast Todd, I was like,

1:04:59

whoa. Todd is like a really good kisser.

1:05:01

And I don't know about

1:05:03

other actresses, but

1:05:06

You know, if you're kissing really good

1:05:08

kissers who are handsome,

1:05:10

it you know, I

1:05:12

hear

1:05:12

actors go, well, you know. There's

1:05:15

this whole crew around, so you don't have any feelings for

1:05:17

the person. Well, I'm that's not really if

1:05:20

I'm

1:05:20

with some ugly guy kissing him, then yes. I

1:05:22

don't have any feelings for him. but

1:05:24

I think it's very hard to be an actor for that reason. You're not usually going

1:05:26

to a job, like, to the office when you

1:05:28

make out, not that it doesn't happen,

1:05:31

but that you go to your job and your part of your job is

1:05:33

to make out with the guys in your

1:05:35

office. Right. Yeah.

1:05:36

So doctors,

1:05:37

you know, it's part of our job to

1:05:39

make out with them. And he's a

1:05:41

good kisser. Well, especially if you

1:05:44

go on location somewhere, I

1:05:46

mean, god,

1:05:48

it happens all the time, but how could it not?

1:05:50

Right? IIII

1:05:52

actually I never cheated on my husband,

1:05:54

but I will say that it was

1:05:57

it was hard because here you are working

1:05:59

every

1:05:59

day. You know you

1:06:02

know you're on the set for fourteen hours, but you're

1:06:04

making out with them, you're pretending like you love

1:06:06

them, and then it's time to go home and

1:06:08

you all go to dinner and you're all

1:06:10

sitting with each other and laughing

1:06:12

and everything's

1:06:14

great and you sort of start falling

1:06:16

in love with them. It's how Elizabeth Taylor was married eighty seven times. You

1:06:18

know? Your husband at the time was

1:06:20

Parker Stephenson?

1:06:22

Yeah. who is a

1:06:23

pretty hot

1:06:25

actor

1:06:26

himself at that time.

1:06:28

Good luck in,

1:06:31

hi know kind of doing

1:06:32

doing

1:06:33

a series. God. We had

1:06:35

a series. Like, he had

1:06:37

a Hardie boys. We also had a

1:06:39

few other ones. Right? I mean, he had he had But

1:06:41

he had they watched than he had he

1:06:43

was in Model Z Inc. and then a bunch of Model Z Inc. Yeah.

1:06:46

Yeah. His stuff was, like, a little more serious, a

1:06:48

little more

1:06:50

crime fighting and that kind of

1:06:52

stuff. But he was a pretty pretty hot actor during

1:06:54

during that same

1:06:55

time period. Right? Yeah.

1:06:58

And he's a hot guy, but when you go on location

1:07:00

and you're you

1:07:03

you know, you're you're

1:07:05

on location. It's just

1:07:06

I mean, imagine I don't think people really I

1:07:09

think they can put

1:07:09

themselves in in the place. You

1:07:12

know, if you're going off and,

1:07:14

you know, you're making it with Matthew

1:07:16

McConaughey every day or

1:07:18

something, you might have a crash.

1:07:20

Oh, thank you. Yeah. I I don't think

1:07:22

people fully understand

1:07:24

how they

1:07:27

would act or respond in the

1:07:29

same sort of

1:07:31

situations, which is to say. You

1:07:34

know, everyone always talks about, oh,

1:07:36

these these Hollywood guys, they're

1:07:38

always cheating, or the women are

1:07:40

cheating, or when whatever it is. Well,

1:07:42

like, look, if you drive a

1:07:44

truck, you're not gonna get that

1:07:46

much opportunity for for

1:07:48

instance. You know? I mean, I used to

1:07:50

be on MTV every

1:07:52

night. I understand what it's like to

1:07:54

go into a bar in

1:07:56

New York when my girlfriends in LA and I have two

1:07:58

chicks walk up to me because

1:08:00

I'm on the TV that's on

1:08:02

in the

1:08:04

bar at the time. So and saying

1:08:06

no thanks, but no thanks

1:08:08

to that is a is a tougher

1:08:10

thing to do than not

1:08:14

It's one thing to, like again, it's one thing to drive a truck and not

1:08:16

go out whoring when you pull

1:08:18

into to Phoenix. Like, that's fine.

1:08:22

It's another thing when they come to you and

1:08:24

start talking to you.

1:08:26

And I was talking

1:08:30

to the late great

1:08:32

God, let's see. Alright. I just blanked out his name, but

1:08:34

I'll I'll I'll think of it. I'll think of his name in a

1:08:37

in

1:08:40

a second. from

1:08:40

three's company. I'm I'm just completely spacing

1:08:42

those things. writer. John writer. John writer. John writer and John was

1:08:48

basically saying he was just in a book that was doing

1:08:50

one of those tell all books, and he was in the tell all

1:08:52

book. And, you know, he was

1:08:54

basically saying, I flew to New York,

1:08:57

I was at the airport. There's like this great looking chick at the airport. She wanted

1:08:59

to know, you know, if I wanted to share a

1:09:02

cab with her back into Manhattan and I

1:09:04

said, fine.

1:09:07

We share the next, you know, we're staying at the same hotel. You know, she wants to

1:09:10

know if I wanna have a drink in the bar

1:09:12

or the hotel. Like, yeah, next,

1:09:14

you know, he's in a book.

1:09:16

But What I'm

1:09:18

saying is is, I don't know many guys that wouldn't get caught up in that. I

1:09:19

I just don't. But also,

1:09:22

it's hard not to

1:09:24

because

1:09:24

you

1:09:26

know, like that incident, like say you're in that

1:09:28

bar, that's hard, but that's one incident

1:09:31

probably from one

1:09:31

person. But it's like,

1:09:33

erosion if you're doing a movie and you're on a set for, you know, if you're gone on location for

1:09:35

three months and

1:09:39

this person is

1:09:41

sort of eroding you. I'm really proud of myself. I was married for fourteen years and I never cheated on my husband. You

1:09:43

must have had guys

1:09:46

coming at you all

1:09:49

how many at you all day long. I

1:09:51

mean I did, but I was so flirty. I mean, I

1:09:53

I think you know, when I said, didn't you to

1:09:55

my husband, I'm proud of that.

1:09:57

But what I did was even sort of worse. Because I

1:09:59

would say

1:09:59

to guys like,

1:09:59

you know, oh my god. If I wasn't married, I

1:10:02

would be so into you. I would be so you

1:10:05

know, I I was like the mass manipulator,

1:10:08

flirder. And when I look back on

1:10:10

it, if if my husband was doing

1:10:12

what I

1:10:14

was doing, I would

1:10:15

not have liked it. And maybe he

1:10:16

was. I mean, he was on sets too.

1:10:18

But I I do think that, like, you know,

1:10:21

it's like if you put yourself in a position, you

1:10:23

know, you work in a real estate office.

1:10:25

Okay? And you're married. But then there's a

1:10:27

guy that comes to work in the real

1:10:29

estate office and he's really hot looking. And

1:10:31

I don't know. Maybe it looks like Patrick

1:10:33

Swazzy. and he's over there and he sits

1:10:35

next to you every day. Maybe you're tempted a little

1:10:37

bit. Maybe you have some temptation going on there every

1:10:39

single day and But

1:10:42

now what if part of your real estate was every he comes want

1:10:44

you know, when you go show this house

1:10:46

today, we want you to go together

1:10:51

out with each other all day. Right. So then,

1:10:53

I mean, it's the weirdest

1:10:55

business in the when you

1:10:57

really look

1:10:58

at it, Yeah. Actually, show this like you're saying.

1:11:00

It's very weird because they're

1:11:02

not really you know,

1:11:05

I don't you

1:11:06

know, if you're approached by a lot of people, I

1:11:08

don't really even they don't know me, first

1:11:10

of all. So it would be who they

1:11:13

think I am, you know? Or Yeah. they

1:11:15

think you are or but but people

1:11:17

do throw themselves at you. And it's

1:11:19

easy for me when it's a

1:11:21

one night kind of saying that that's never been

1:11:23

my deal. I've never

1:11:24

really been promiscuous. That's never

1:11:26

been my deal. But the erosion.

1:11:29

Yeah. They wear you down. Well, also,

1:11:31

you know, it's it's kinda interesting. I

1:11:33

wanna get back to that part where

1:11:36

you kinda flirt

1:11:38

hard with them because Guys don't

1:11:40

understand that. And I

1:11:42

think there's a big

1:11:44

chasm here between men

1:11:46

and women, which is

1:11:49

Guys are very bottom line. Like, we want to have sex. Like, if

1:11:51

a guy is talking about

1:11:52

cheating or he's flirting

1:11:55

with you or whatever, he

1:11:59

wants to essentially wants to have an orgasm. That's

1:12:01

that's kind of the the end game. Like,

1:12:04

that's that's

1:12:06

it. It's very mechanical. You can break it down a whole different ways,

1:12:08

but guys are very mechanical.

1:12:11

So a woman who

1:12:13

would be saying

1:12:15

to a guy Listen, if I wasn't

1:12:18

married, I'd definitely be with you because I think you're that hot. A guy can't really process

1:12:24

because for a guy, it's almost like

1:12:26

saying

1:12:26

it's like you're saying, I wanna talk

1:12:28

about eating a steak, and the

1:12:30

guy's like, I wanna eat a steak.

1:12:33

And you go,

1:12:34

yeah, I just kinda wanna talk about it. And the guy's like, nobody wants to talk about eating a steak.

1:12:37

You wanna eat

1:12:40

a fucking stake or

1:12:42

you shut up, but you don't just wanna

1:12:44

talk about it. What they don't realize is women can just wanna

1:12:46

talk about eating a steak and never take a bite of a

1:12:48

steak. and

1:12:51

the and the guys can't process that. Right. But being addictive, I

1:12:53

think, to women

1:12:54

I I can't speak for all women.

1:12:56

speak for all women

1:12:57

To me, being

1:12:59

really flirtatious. And I know I'm being

1:13:01

addicted is when I'm doing it.

1:13:03

That's

1:13:03

the game for me. It

1:13:05

that is the the end game that

1:13:07

you're talking about

1:13:08

that guys in game I mean,

1:13:10

if I want that in game, I could have

1:13:11

that in game, but it's not my game. My game

1:13:16

is Right. But he doesn't know it. That's the problem.

1:13:18

What's that? I feel like this is so mean and horrible

1:13:20

and I'm gonna say

1:13:22

it. I used to want, like, Here's

1:13:24

like like, right now, I'm sort of lonely, so

1:13:26

I'm gonna open this box up. I'm gonna take this guy out. I'm gonna go, yo, how

1:13:28

about this? So you're so handsome.

1:13:30

You're so this. You're so that

1:13:33

Okay. You're boring. Put him back in

1:13:35

the box. Get another boy like that. So that flirting doesn't

1:13:37

it always made me feel like I wasn't a bad person.

1:13:40

I wasn't immoral

1:13:43

because I wasn't actually doing I

1:13:46

wasn't actually cheating. I wasn't

1:13:48

actually finishing

1:13:51

the the game. Right. So it became fun to

1:13:53

just flirt around a lot, but I could see your

1:13:55

point of view. I don't think women

1:13:58

I don't think women do think

1:13:59

like men. Well,

1:14:02

that's that's the truth.

1:14:04

The dance and that whole thing is

1:14:06

is probably more exciting or as is

1:14:08

exciting. Well, here's Well, so

1:14:10

here's a so here's

1:14:13

a philosophical

1:14:13

question. Oh, god. What

1:14:15

you were doing for

1:14:18

are you you

1:14:20

was

1:14:20

cheating to some degree

1:14:22

sort of emotionally

1:14:24

or whatever, spiritually

1:14:26

or whatever. because you were getting something out of

1:14:29

it. You know what I mean? Like,

1:14:31

maybe we should define cheating in

1:14:34

a marriage as sort of you getting

1:14:37

something out of it. Do you you know

1:14:39

what I'm saying? Sounds like

1:14:41

a woman could get fully

1:14:44

naked and have a man

1:14:46

massage her naked body, but

1:14:49

that's not

1:14:50

right cheating. Right? Well, okay. No.

1:14:51

No. I'm stick with me on this.

1:14:54

We're we're we're going on a long journey

1:14:57

here. That's

1:15:00

not cheating. because it's not cheating

1:15:02

to her. You know what I mean? And it's not to society either. But if a guy goes into the champagne

1:15:04

room and he

1:15:07

gets a lap dance, Even

1:15:10

those pants stay on, maybe his wife gets angry at at that behavior. Right?

1:15:13

So so it's

1:15:16

kind of it's

1:15:18

a little it's not that technical because on

1:15:20

one hand, you're nude and the guy's

1:15:23

putting his hands all over you. On the

1:15:25

other hand, you're wearing your jeans and the

1:15:27

giving you a lap dance, but it's it's more

1:15:29

sexualized. But what you

1:15:31

were doing is

1:15:34

a woman's version of

1:15:36

cheating or your version of cheating to some degree.

1:15:38

You were One degree. You were sort of getting pleasure with

1:15:40

other guys, but but your

1:15:43

version of it is you

1:15:46

keep your panties on. Right? My

1:15:48

version is I'm taking it as far

1:15:50

as I can possibly take it without

1:15:54

having intercourse

1:15:54

or having other

1:15:56

sexual activities. So I could say

1:15:58

to someone who I've

1:15:59

never cheated on my husband.

1:16:02

Right. But I understand. I even sort of think it's worse

1:16:04

because I I don't I think

1:16:06

you can also get men to

1:16:09

fall in love with you. for

1:16:11

real and you're

1:16:12

really fucking with them sort of. It's it's

1:16:14

sort of a creepy cheating too. Well,

1:16:16

so here's here's the

1:16:19

philosophical question, which is You

1:16:21

and the

1:16:22

eyes of society are not a cheater, but on the other hand, you're getting

1:16:27

what you want away from your husband?

1:16:29

Yes. I'm a horror. No. I'm just saying you're being sort of

1:16:32

satiated away from your

1:16:34

and your husband's not providing

1:16:38

this thing. Now, obviously,

1:16:40

your husband and men aren't

1:16:42

interested in this version of

1:16:44

cheating. they're not interested in the let's

1:16:47

talk about it. They wanna get to business. So then you could do this with multiple

1:16:49

men over a

1:16:52

course of years

1:16:54

and not be a cheater, your

1:16:56

husband could sleep with some fluency out of town

1:16:58

one time and he would be a cheater.

1:17:03

Yeah. Even though you're both just kind of doing what you're wired

1:17:05

to do. Do you know what I

1:17:07

mean? Yes.

1:17:09

But see that psyche that

1:17:11

that even when you say that I'm not even with anyone right now. It's

1:17:13

like when you say and your

1:17:15

husband could

1:17:16

then sleep with someone, I

1:17:18

just get like full of rage

1:17:21

I'm not

1:17:22

you know, I would they're see saying. philosophically,

1:17:24

it's is

1:17:28

sort of one is one and the other is the other, but

1:17:30

that I don't know, you know, that if you if you complete the whole act, I

1:17:35

guess

1:17:35

that's my definition of cheating. But what I

1:17:38

was doing was equal

1:17:40

or I think

1:17:42

even maybe words because I was sort of a serial

1:17:44

sort of cereal

1:17:46

clerker.

1:17:48

Did

1:17:51

and I imagine bendy

1:17:53

of flirting. A lot of I mean, a lot of those guys must have

1:17:55

really been smitten with you and thought

1:17:58

something may may happen.

1:18:00

may may happen Well,

1:18:02

and,

1:18:03

you know, I would lead the if it this didn't

1:18:05

happen with many, many, many, many, many guys, but I

1:18:07

would lead them, like, wow. If

1:18:09

I wasn't, you know, I don't know. And, you know, when

1:18:11

you have those talks on sets, I

1:18:13

mean, there's so bullshit. You know,

1:18:16

here we are. You know

1:18:18

what? When anything gets into something heavy and philosophical and, you know, like, it was

1:18:20

like when it

1:18:23

goes back to, like, how

1:18:25

did I emote in this? I just wanna throw up. I don't

1:18:27

know why. I

1:18:27

I Anyway, but I

1:18:29

just if it gets too

1:18:31

heavy and philosophical, I

1:18:34

always felt like flirting was just fun, but

1:18:36

it does

1:18:37

have consequences because you are

1:18:40

I don't think it's

1:18:41

fair to make people think that

1:18:43

you're falling in love with them. What did you

1:18:45

so what did you need? So Right. Why would you be why

1:18:47

did why be married was my thought? Like,

1:18:49

why am I married if

1:18:51

I'm gonna do What did you get

1:18:53

out of it? I mean,

1:18:55

was it being desired or the attention? Or what what do you see,

1:18:57

like like I said, like for guys,

1:18:59

it doesn't really never

1:19:02

did it with anyone that I wasn't, like, crazy attracted

1:19:05

to. Mhmm. So

1:19:06

I guess

1:19:07

III guess

1:19:09

I wanted to I guess I

1:19:12

wanted

1:19:12

to have, you know,

1:19:14

that, I

1:19:15

guess, that flotation and

1:19:17

that stuff feels fun and fresh and new, and it's

1:19:20

probably why people cheat on each other. You it's

1:19:22

it's no different. You want that fresh new

1:19:26

thing with And there's no responsibility. You know, you don't know

1:19:28

what the guy's bathroom habits are. You don't

1:19:30

know what he's like. If you get in

1:19:32

a fight with him, you

1:19:35

don't know anything, really. it just feels

1:19:37

like it's fresh and new. So I guess that newness

1:19:39

feels sort of exciting or

1:19:42

exhilarating or something. And

1:19:45

Also, I feel like if you

1:19:47

you

1:19:47

know, I

1:19:48

I think women and God,

1:19:50

I'll probably get lambasted for this.

1:19:55

because it but I do think women want to

1:19:57

have that

1:19:58

kind of

1:19:59

love

1:20:00

aspect and

1:20:03

romance acts aspect. And I think men just wanna, like, get down.

1:20:05

So if you're flirting with someone,

1:20:07

it feels like

1:20:10

that romantic thing. feels like the game, the you know,

1:20:12

it feels like what what is

1:20:15

a it's like

1:20:16

foreplay. Yeah.

1:20:19

Man, it's like, fuck. Shut the fuck

1:20:21

up. Just get your clothes off,

1:20:23

you know. So I I so

1:20:25

that may be what it it puts

1:20:27

the fulfillment of being able to be romantic

1:20:30

in a way

1:20:32

and flirtatious. Like, I

1:20:34

mean, isn't that how every

1:20:37

relationship starts. You know what? I realized it was really interesting was

1:20:39

I never ever slept with a guy. I'd never slept

1:20:42

with someone the first time if I hadn't

1:20:44

been drinking. What

1:20:47

does that tell you? That tells you

1:20:48

I would have had no sex in my

1:20:51

life because there was alcohol. And

1:20:53

and now, you

1:20:56

know, under California law, that would be rape.

1:20:58

I mean, under the the new definitions.

1:20:59

No. Wait. But you know it but

1:21:02

but yes. But you know it's true,

1:21:04

like, you I

1:21:06

would be I don't even really

1:21:08

I'll probably drink twice a year. I don't

1:21:10

really have a thing for alcohol, but I

1:21:12

remember, like, if I if I

1:21:14

wanna cut my inhibition down and make myself real brave and

1:21:16

gutsy, you know, I'd have

1:21:19

a couple of drinks

1:21:21

and

1:21:23

I I have never slept with a man that I didn't the

1:21:25

first time I slept with him

1:21:27

wasn't I wouldn't

1:21:29

say drunk, but was had

1:21:31

a few drinks. When you've

1:21:33

been married twice. Right?

1:21:34

And you're

1:21:35

I'm rare. Uh-huh. And

1:21:40

you never never thought about because when you

1:21:42

got divorced for the second time, you were certainly young enough

1:21:44

to find love and

1:21:46

get married at third time.

1:21:48

never I lived with someone for

1:21:51

three years after I got a divorce. Oh, do we know who that person is?

1:21:53

the we know who that person as

1:21:55

Got it. No. But if you lived

1:21:57

in my podcast, I was a special episode. I don't

1:21:59

know. He

1:22:04

yeah. III

1:22:05

jumped, let's

1:22:05

say, what was it called? What's that saying? You jumped from the fire to

1:22:07

the frying pan? Oh, I

1:22:08

think you go from the

1:22:11

frying pan into

1:22:11

the fire. You

1:22:14

do. Either way, it's fucked up. So

1:22:18

oh, lord. Well, maybe,

1:22:21

you know, how to

1:22:23

get I always wonder I always think about sort of

1:22:25

the burden of being

1:22:27

a really attractive woman

1:22:30

is, like the people constantly

1:22:34

kind

1:22:34

of coming at you and getting into these relationships.

1:22:36

You know, I mean,

1:22:38

there's a version of

1:22:40

life that

1:22:43

is a much slower life. You

1:22:45

know,

1:22:46

you live in

1:22:47

the same town, you married it the

1:22:49

same guy for forty five years. It's a

1:22:51

it's sort of you're you're

1:22:53

you're not having all this temptation, these options, I

1:22:55

guess, constantly like being

1:22:59

thrown at you. you you identified

1:23:01

with this at all? that, like, got into this business too. I

1:23:03

feel like

1:23:03

there's a part of

1:23:04

me that wanted to

1:23:07

be an actor because I

1:23:11

wanted, you know, the clothes, the men,

1:23:13

the lights, the blue,

1:23:14

the yellow, the all the fan

1:23:16

fare. I

1:23:18

wanna

1:23:18

you were on an episode of Love Boat. Right? Yes. I've been watching

1:23:20

this shit out

1:23:23

of Love Boat. I

1:23:26

watch your love boat, and then doctor

1:23:28

Drew watches love boat, and

1:23:30

then

1:23:31

we gossip about

1:23:32

the

1:23:32

episode that we we

1:23:34

saw. But I'm trying to think

1:23:36

as I was looking through your

1:23:38

IMDB, was it nineteen eighty three?

1:23:41

Now

1:23:41

It probably was because

1:23:43

I started I hadn't been dating Parker very long, and Parker

1:23:47

was asked

1:23:48

to be on Love Boat. And we were at

1:23:50

dinner with the producer, and the producer said, would you possibly

1:23:53

be interested in doing

1:23:55

Love Boat with him? and

1:23:58

playing his I think I

1:23:59

played his wife. And I said, oh,

1:24:01

yeah. I'll do that. And so that's how I got

1:24:03

into that

1:24:03

one. because that

1:24:04

was

1:24:05

that was That was

1:24:07

pre cheers for you? Yeah.

1:24:09

Yeah. They didn't do cheers

1:24:12

until later. We're looking

1:24:14

at that. I started doing cheers in nineteen eighty seven. We're

1:24:16

looking at a picture you

1:24:18

with some serious cleavage. Nice

1:24:21

wrap. Can you say that anymore? my

1:24:23

god. Love Boatman, they let it hang

1:24:25

out in that that show. And

1:24:27

you're there with Tom

1:24:29

Bosley. I think that's

1:24:32

Tom from from Charlie's angels. He was Yes.

1:24:34

He was was it Tom Bozzo?

1:24:35

Yeah. From Charlie's

1:24:39

angels. Right?

1:24:39

I think I was try I think in I was trying to make my husband

1:24:41

jealous. I think that's why

1:24:42

I had that dress on.

1:24:44

I

1:24:46

wanna know I'm I'm asking for doctor Drew. I'm not even

1:24:49

asking for myself, but I'm gonna ask

1:24:51

you, I can never

1:24:53

figure out, like, where did you guys film

1:24:55

that show? Did you ever get on the boat?

1:24:57

I know it was all in front of a

1:25:00

green screen,

1:25:02

but I'm so I'm I'm so obsessed with love

1:25:04

boat and I'm I'm especially obsessed with

1:25:06

it because I'm looking at it

1:25:09

through the lens of this was our

1:25:12

society. I mean, on the subject

1:25:14

we're talking about, on the love

1:25:16

boat, doctor

1:25:18

Bricker was the physician who was on the

1:25:21

love boat, and he openly hit

1:25:23

on every chick that walked

1:25:25

onto that boat, and

1:25:27

those were storylines. then that's how crazy

1:25:30

our society was back then, that the physician on the boat would openly

1:25:32

be sexually coming

1:25:35

on to female pass singer's

1:25:38

on the boat, and that was all there was a laugh track played behind it. And he would get him back to his cabin

1:25:41

and be

1:25:44

banging him in his where

1:25:46

he conducted his his medical exams. Is that the little part came in? So

1:25:52

when we left off, we're talking

1:25:55

love boat at recollections of you

1:25:59

and love boat. you

1:26:00

asked your question and that the

1:26:02

answer is we went we went to Alcavocco on a ship. You did? Yep.

1:26:06

I had no idea. I'm not

1:26:08

sure I'm not so sure they do that with

1:26:10

every episode, but we went to Alcapulco, and

1:26:13

then we also shot

1:26:15

a Liquid queen Mary. because my husband

1:26:17

thought I was an idiot, which I sort of was. He wasn't we we were

1:26:19

just dating at the time, but he he

1:26:23

asked me

1:26:24

about the Queen he said we're gonna go

1:26:25

on the Queen Mary, and I said, well, are we gonna are

1:26:28

we taking

1:26:31

it out? didn't know was it drydock? Yeah.

1:26:34

We're gonna fly the spruce goose over to the queen Mary, and then we're gonna take it

1:26:36

out, water skin.

1:26:39

Take her out, Kevin. So

1:26:42

you guys did go to

1:26:44

Acapulco on a cruise? We

1:26:46

did. And and

1:26:47

filmed on the cruise. We

1:26:50

did. That's why we both thought it would be fun

1:26:52

because it was a real it was

1:26:54

a real deal. Wow.

1:26:55

This is gonna blow

1:26:57

doctor Drew's mind. And I'm

1:26:59

glad to see one. Does he think they're

1:27:01

all they're all on stage?

1:27:03

Sound stage? You know, he'd

1:27:04

he I think he does, but he's

1:27:07

very cynical. You know, he's a clinician. He's

1:27:09

always looking for that angle, whereas I'm a I'm a lover and

1:27:11

a dreamer. I wanna believe. You know what I

1:27:15

mean? Yeah. Oh, for

1:27:15

sure. I'm entering the next few days.

1:27:17

Where are you going? I

1:27:19

am driving

1:27:21

or my here's my

1:27:23

class. I am driving around the country, and I'm

1:27:25

gonna find a farm that

1:27:27

I want. And just

1:27:29

gonna

1:27:29

do cocaine the

1:27:31

entire time? Or Yeah. God.

1:27:33

Those were the days. How are you? So our what yeah. So you

1:27:35

would like some peace and some

1:27:38

quiet and some nature No.

1:27:42

It sounds like I would, but I have fifteen

1:27:44

lemurs. I have three cats. I've

1:27:46

got birds. I've got lemurs. My

1:27:48

animals are allowed. What's the what's the

1:27:51

definition of a lemur? I mean, what Did you watch Madagascar the movie? Probably. Okay.

1:27:53

I got I

1:27:56

got the

1:27:56

strike tails.

1:27:58

Yeah. I got the general.

1:27:59

I'm picturing my head. Why fifteen? Oh, why not? Because I

1:28:02

had lemurs

1:28:02

for years and years and they passed away old age.

1:28:07

and then I was in Florida and I I don't know.

1:28:10

It was when there were newspapers.

1:28:12

I was looking in

1:28:14

the newspapers and it said, baby

1:28:16

lemurs. And I went, oh my god. None of

1:28:18

these lemurs are captured in Madagascar, by the way.

1:28:20

They're all in

1:28:23

captivity. But I said, I'm

1:28:25

just

1:28:25

gonna go look at them. And we all know that's a lie. My

1:28:26

kids were like, right. You're just gonna go look at it. We got no. I'm just gonna look at it. I wanna

1:28:30

see some baby leavers. Boom.

1:28:32

I come home with four baby

1:28:34

lemurs. One male and three females that aren't related. And

1:28:37

then they all

1:28:40

had, like, Yeah.

1:28:41

We're talking at him.

1:28:43

Yeah. Unbeknownst to me, lemurs regularly have twins. So

1:28:48

all women had twins. Jimmy is

1:28:50

the stud. He's like, impregnates them all. And so it just

1:28:52

it just started. And then we

1:28:54

gave Jimmy a vasakimi, and then

1:28:58

two

1:28:58

years ago, the vasectomy wore off, and

1:29:00

he had two more kids. You can

1:29:02

give a lemur of vasectomy. I

1:29:04

didn't

1:29:05

wanna, you know, I didn't

1:29:07

wanna castrate him I

1:29:08

don't know. I have a Well,

1:29:11

so you wanna you wanna find some land, you wanna have a farm, where

1:29:14

where are we thinking?

1:29:17

I'm

1:29:17

looking in different places.

1:29:19

I'm looking in

1:29:20

Kansas, Ohio, Maine, and Ocala. How

1:29:22

are you set for money?

1:29:24

you set for money I

1:29:27

I'm set for money well enough

1:29:29

that I can

1:29:31

buy a farm. Is it

1:29:33

is it were you

1:29:34

good? okay. Were you

1:29:36

good with your money throughout your

1:29:38

career? money before I and

1:29:41

before I stopped doing cocaine. because it

1:29:43

would have been all my nose. But I've only invested

1:29:45