0:02

Everybody . Welcome back to another episode of

0:05

Carry On Friends the Caribbean American

0:07

Experience . On the last episode

0:09

of the podcast , I was with my

0:11

friends Makayla and Chris and

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we were talking about competing and

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collaboration . In this

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episode , you are going to hear

0:20

from audience members

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their different perspectives on

0:24

competing . I asked different

0:26

people to give me their perspectives

0:29

on competing

0:31

. I asked them follow-up questions and

0:34

got some interesting responses

0:36

. You may have very

0:38

strong reactions to

0:41

some of their responses , but

0:43

what I found interesting was , in

0:46

addition to the common threads that

0:48

you'd hear with some of the speakers

0:50

, what came through was your

0:53

view of competition . Competing

0:56

varies depending

0:58

on your age

1:01

, where you are in

1:03

life and your current circumstances

1:05

, and your

1:07

view might evolve or

1:09

change depending on where you are right

1:11

now in life , and so

1:14

I'd love to hear your reaction to

1:16

the comments and the

1:18

opinions here , or whether

1:20

you agree or disagree . Whatever it is

1:23

, sound off , talk your mind . You

1:25

could DM or send

1:27

an email . Hello at Carry On Friends . So

1:30

let's kick it off . What

1:34

comes to mind when you hear

1:36

the word compete or

1:38

competition ?

1:41

So the word compete , competition

1:43

is both negative and positive to me

1:45

, because I do believe

1:47

that everybody should run

1:49

their own race at their own pace . So

1:53

competing with others might

1:55

be negative

1:57

, but then again , sometimes

1:59

in life you have to have

2:02

competition to take you out of your comfort

2:04

zone , to push you to the

2:06

next level . So sometimes

2:08

that word is it depends on

2:10

where I'm at in my life . So

2:13

right now in my life , at this

2:15

present moment , it

2:18

is of negative

2:20

because I'm kind

2:22

of running the race myself at

2:24

my own pace , doing what is

2:26

best for me , and really not looking

2:29

beside me , behind me . My

2:31

only focus is in

2:33

front of me , so I'm

2:37

not competing . I don't want nobody

2:39

to tell me the words compete

2:41

, competition , that's just not

2:43

where I'm at . Maybe later

2:46

on I'm going to feel like , oh

2:48

, it's positive , because then it pushed

2:50

me outside of my comfort zone

2:53

and it makes me rise

2:55

up on top when I see that somebody

2:58

is right beside me pushed me to move

3:00

forward . Or I look behind and I see

3:02

somebody catching up with

3:04

me that I know was

3:06

coming from so far and should be so

3:08

close to me and I should have been

3:10

further . But that's

3:12

really what I feel about the word

3:15

compete or competition

3:17

at this point . I

3:19

don't know if it has to do with my age

3:22

, but I just feel like where I'm at in my life

3:24

right now it's kind of

3:26

negative . I'm just running

3:28

the race at my own pace , doing what I

3:31

feel like I want to do when

3:33

I want to do it . So

3:36

I do not want

3:38

anybody to say

3:41

the word compete , competition

3:43

to me . So that's what I feel .

3:45

I'm a highly competitive person . So

3:48

I have a whole you know , as like many of

3:50

us will have a whole different perspective . For

3:52

me it's more of a positive perspective than

3:54

it is negative . I think

3:56

competition and competing gets

3:59

a negative connotation from people's

4:01

own personal traumas and lack

4:03

of six quote unquote success

4:06

in whatever it is they wanted to do with themselves

4:08

. So it's

4:10

a trauma response to me when

4:12

I hear people look at competition in a

4:14

negative sense . That doesn't mean that

4:17

there isn't negative competition .

4:20

I do not compete with people

4:22

generally and

4:24

I don't like people competing with me

4:26

. It doesn't make me feel nice

4:28

. Maybe I do in some way , and I don't

4:31

know . You

4:33

do , you , I do ?

4:34

me and I really respect

4:36

people's differences and

4:38

I just don't say it necessary

4:40

to be competing .

4:42

So when I think of the word compete

4:45

or competition , the first

4:47

thing that comes to mind is that I

4:50

am going

4:52

for something or there's a common

4:54

goal in mind for me to win something

4:56

and I have to outbeat

4:59

my opponents . It's more so

5:01

. It comes in more of a game form

5:03

in my mind it's that

5:05

I'm working , I'm conditioning whether

5:08

it's my mind or my body , in order to

5:10

beat out my opponents who

5:12

are also in competition

5:14

with me . My personal feelings

5:17

towards it . I'm

5:19

not a huge fan

5:21

of it . I used to be , maybe , when

5:23

I was younger , but

5:25

as I got older I realized

5:28

that sometimes

5:30

, putting yourself in a position

5:32

of mindset of I'm going

5:34

to be competing against others , it

5:37

almost makes you forget certain values

5:40

and morals that are also important

5:42

to you , and it almost

5:44

seems as though in order to win

5:46

at certain things , you have to

5:48

be willing to compromise those morals

5:50

and those values not in all cases

5:52

, but in some

5:54

scenarios . So I think

5:56

as you get older , you realize that , and

5:59

I think the idea

6:01

of winning becomes less

6:03

important and more so

6:05

the idea of learning from failures

6:08

become even more important .

6:10

My personal feeling about competition is that

6:13

sometimes I think it's taken

6:15

too seriously and

6:17

it gives the impression that one person

6:19

is better than another person overall

6:22

, but the reality is it may be in just this

6:24

one area , in this one time , in

6:26

this one moment , someone

6:28

was better than another , but it doesn't

6:30

have to define you and I think sometimes people allow

6:33

that . As long as it's done healthy

6:35

, in a healthy way , in

6:37

a healthy manner , I'm all for

6:39

it . Competition is just something

6:41

I think as a part of life , but it's how

6:43

we perceive it and think about it that

6:45

is important .

6:47

I like competing . It brings out

6:49

the best in me and

6:52

it also forces me

6:54

to dig deeper

6:57

in the survival

6:59

box . I'm

7:02

always never afraid of going . If

7:04

I wasn't put in

7:07

that position to be

7:09

a part of competing

7:11

, I'm not gonna think not the wrong way , you

7:13

know , because I've

7:15

always viewed myself as a confident

7:18

person . So competing

7:20

is not a hindrance to my mindset

7:22

. You get what I'm saying

7:24

. So I'm going to always give

7:27

my best in

7:29

whatsoever it is I

7:32

am putting my mindset to , and

7:34

if I'm going to face some

7:36

form of resistance from somebody

7:39

else , then I'm going to put in

7:41

150% , because

7:44

it is also telling me something about

7:46

myself too , that failure

7:48

is not an option , and I'm not disturbed

7:50

by competing

7:52

in order to achieve what I want

7:54

to achieve in life generally

7:57

. So , for example

7:59

, if there is a particular woman that

8:01

I like and I have to compete

8:04

to get her , I am going to win

8:06

. It's that simple . The

8:09

competition is going to be all

8:12

the way turned up from my aspect , and

8:14

competing for her is going to be turned

8:17

up from my aspect . So

8:19

it is with every or anything with me

8:21

. I am not shy or scared of

8:23

that .

8:24

The first thing that comes to mind winning

8:27

. If you're competing , you must

8:29

be in it to win it . That's what

8:31

comes to mind and that's how I feel

8:33

about being in a competition or

8:35

being competitive . The end

8:37

goal is winning

8:40

, and the lesson

8:42

is perseverance .

8:46

Also , when I hear competing competition , I

8:48

think of growth , I think of innovation

8:52

. I also see the negative side

8:54

Copycatting , subpar products

8:56

, subpar opportunities

8:58

, scams and stuff like that . I

9:01

love competition To me . I wake up in the morning

9:04

. I compete against myself . I'm

9:06

always trying to make myself better and I'm always like

9:08

, hey , you could have done better . You

9:10

know you're better than this . I compete against

9:12

time . Might

9:15

be a little crazy to some people hearing

9:17

this , but I'm always competing because

9:19

we are in competition with time . Nobody's

9:21

guaranteed to wake up tomorrow . How

9:24

do I maximize it against the opponent ? I will never

9:27

beat . Maybe this is my arrogance

9:29

, maybe it's me or my ego . I

9:31

also have an attitude of who do you think

9:33

you are to stop me from getting what's my piece

9:35

of this pot ? I always look at it

9:37

like well , there's always a weakness

9:39

, there's always something that can be done better . There's

9:41

always something , no matter how great Michael Jordan

9:43

is , as great as he was In

9:46

the mythology glad I grew up in the era because I got

9:48

to see it firsthand . There was weaknesses in

9:50

this game . Those people who

9:52

stepped up it took that as a competition

9:55

. When Alan Iverson

9:57

crossed them he said he cried

9:59

about it , but he told Mike . He was like

10:01

yo , I belong here . You

10:04

stepped in front of me and you're my idol , but I'm going

10:06

to cross you because I'm

10:08

not going to allow you to stop

10:10

me and stop the work that I did

10:13

, or my goals , from happening For

10:17

me . That's what it also means is here's

10:19

an obstacle and I have to go either

10:21

go around you , under you , above

10:24

you or through you . I

10:27

think that's what a negative connotation to comes up , because

10:30

when people hear you talk like that , they're like oh my God

10:32

, you're ruining it . And that's not true . Not

10:35

everybody's willing to do really

10:37

evil or bad things to other people in the spirit

10:39

of competition . There are guidelines

10:41

and boundaries to it . There

10:44

are moral or ethical

10:46

guidelines that people , both

10:49

personally and within their industry

10:51

, will follow . Now some people will go above

10:53

and beyond and when by any means necessary . But

10:57

everything has its consequences .

11:00

Is there ever a world where we don't

11:02

compete or we're in competition ?

11:05

Unfortunately , I don't think we live in a world where

11:07

it's possible not to compete , I should

11:09

say because we're always going to be pit

11:11

against another person for

11:14

either one slot

11:16

or a few designated slots or whatever . But

11:19

I do think as an individual

11:21

, we can reframe how

11:23

we look at the word competing

11:26

or competition and focus

11:28

more on what makes you

11:30

unique or what makes what you

11:32

bring to the table unique , and

11:34

not necessarily worrying about what

11:37

the competition is doing . Too

11:39

much , I think we focus too much

11:41

on what the competition is doing versus

11:44

on what makes you

11:47

you , what highlights

11:49

the benefits and value

11:51

that you bring . So I think if we sort of

11:53

reframe the way we look at competition

11:56

, it might not necessarily look like competition

11:58

, it just would look like you

12:01

showing what you bring to the table .

12:04

But competition is very necessary to

12:06

drive each other , to

12:09

push each other to discover

12:11

our own greatness

12:13

, give the reason to fight for something

12:15

, a goal to go

12:17

after . It's very necessary

12:19

to keep

12:22

ambitions at

12:24

the forefront of your mind

12:27

as you go through this journey of

12:29

life , and I think

12:31

it's instinctive

12:34

and ingrained in us to

12:37

compete . At some level . You can consciously

12:39

choose not to compete and there are certain

12:41

instances in life where my life where

12:44

I've chosen not to compete , which

12:46

is perfectly fine , but that's a conscious decision

12:49

, because

12:52

maybe you just don't feel like you're

12:54

in the same category with the people that are on you

12:56

and it's not worthy of your time

12:58

and energy and effort and

13:01

that situation . I choose

13:03

not to compete .

13:04

Okay and I think a lot of

13:06

competitors

13:09

at the top of their game will

13:11

tell you the same thing is that they're in

13:13

a competition with themselves to

13:15

be do their best In

13:18

what they do not against To

13:21

the public , and in the competition they

13:24

are competing against someone

13:26

, but in reality they are competing with

13:28

themselves to bring their best to the table

13:30

. So it's not , I'm

13:33

better than that person . I did better than I did

13:35

the previous time .

13:37

I did this . There are levels to competition

13:39

and some people can , some

13:41

people can stop . You know they

13:43

can see where it's going and say , okay , this

13:46

is not healthy . I love people who

13:48

are just completely toxic with it . And

13:50

I think it's important for you to know who

13:53

you are as a person and understand and Also

13:56

, especially doing a business , that

13:58

competitive spirit can bother being self-destructive

14:01

. I think competition also creates

14:03

opportunities for collaboration . It

14:06

creates opportunities for Industries

14:09

to grow through collaboration

14:11

and then when you go out there and

14:13

you seek those collaborations and those partnerships

14:16

, my competitive spirit if I

14:18

didn't check it , I would you know

14:20

. Or if I didn't decide to say Collaboration

14:22

is more beneficial for my business than

14:25

competing , I would have went

14:27

out there , put myself out there and I would have probably

14:29

failed Misery , especially

14:31

somebody who doesn't know what they're doing . Um

14:33

, and so I've taken that lesson and I'm Stretched

14:36

across the board . So , but

14:38

do I still compete ? Yes , I still compete

14:40

with them because I have a certain vision . They

14:42

have a certain vision . Sometimes

14:44

, you know , you're like , well , you don't get it right

14:46

over here by this time I'm thinking about doing

14:49

it myself . So like is it ? Is

14:51

it something that is beneficial to

14:53

the greater good , or those

14:55

or your , or your product or service

14:57

or your community or whatever it is you're doing . Is

15:00

it really better , right ? You

15:02

know we hear about people talking about Apple . Well

15:04

, look , sam , some piece with Apple

15:06

, but also Sam , some provides parts to

15:08

Apple . Right ? Competition

15:11

brings opportunities for collaboration

15:13

and innovation and stuff like that . And again

15:15

I'm gonna go back to it if there is no competition

15:18

or nobody in the space

15:20

is competitive , it's gonna bring laziness , it's gonna

15:22

be complacency , it's gonna break

15:24

, it's gonna stagnate , it's not gonna be an

15:26

innovation of creative ideas , it's

15:28

not gonna be any of that . Those

15:31

human factors that we do that and grandest

15:33

as a human Want to be better

15:35

, do better .

15:37

Do you think people confuse competing

15:40

with a jealousy or

15:43

Competing equals

15:45

jealousy ? I don't necessarily .

15:47

Interlating competing equals

15:50

Jealousy , and

15:52

when I compete well , it's not that I'm jealous

15:54

of the person , it's that I'm

15:57

pushing myself to the next level . So

16:02

I guess it depends on the person . I am

16:04

more of a self-centered type

16:06

of person . So if I'm

16:08

competing with someone

16:10

, it's not that I'm jealous of you or

16:12

I want to be . It's more like me . Looking

16:14

at myself , I'm like , oh , you're so great

16:16

, you can be more . Not

16:19

necessarily , oh , I'm jealous of that

16:21

person . So now

16:24

, when I think of competing , I don't think I'm

16:26

jealous of the person at all .

16:27

I Think when people

16:29

don't have the right mindset and

16:32

respect for other people's abilities

16:36

, jealousy can come into

16:38

play . I don't think it's a Broad

16:42

brush that could be put

16:44

on everything and everyone who competes

16:46

. I think that , you know

16:48

, when people have the right mindset , it can be respect

16:50

for their fellow competitors , but

16:53

if they don't have that right mindset , I

16:55

Think it becomes

16:58

jealousy . I so

17:00

I don't think people equate competition

17:02

with jealousy . I think people who

17:04

want the status could

17:06

equate it with jealousy .

17:08

No , no , I don't think that . I

17:11

don't think that at all . I think

17:13

there are two different thing that

17:15

if the person else are

17:17

persons who don't understand that

17:19

there is a difference , they are going to lump

17:22

everything in one basket , which is

17:24

not fear . You get what I'm saying

17:26

, because I think that you have

17:28

bad jealousy and I

17:30

think that you have healthy jealousy . That's

17:33

what I think . No

17:35

, I wouldn't mix

17:37

that with competition at all . There

17:39

are different in every

17:41

way possible . You know , because

17:44

, in good faith , when

17:47

two teams are competing , they're

17:50

not jealous of each

17:52

other . Or when they're in a competition , or

17:54

if they're in the finals and

17:56

they are in that World Cup competition

17:58

, competing for the

18:01

World Cup , they're not in jealousy of each

18:03

other . I don't believe that they're

18:05

playing to see who

18:07

is going to be the winner

18:09

. That's a competition . And

18:11

the day we shake , we hang and

18:13

we go and we drink wine we're

18:15

not the Pan-Le-Siem team but come on the

18:18

day we play the game , we go to the party at the same

18:20

club and we're good . I think

18:22

people that confuse

18:24

those feelings

18:27

are somewhat

18:29

not in understanding that they

18:31

are different . You

18:33

know what I'm saying . They're not in the understanding

18:36

that they are different things and

18:39

maybe that is the reason why they don't

18:41

want to compete . But I think that most

18:44

people who say they are not competing , it

18:48

is a form of fear why

18:50

they would say that because we compete every day

18:52

. In general , you just had some

18:54

indirect competitions and some direct

18:57

competitions , but we compete every day .

19:00

Oh , I absolutely think jealousy is

19:02

confused with competition . As a matter of fact , it

19:04

actually drives

19:06

it in certain instances

19:09

and sometimes you don't even realize

19:11

you're falling down , going down a rabbit hole

19:13

of comparing

19:15

yourself to others until

19:19

you're deep in . So I most

19:21

definitely think they're almost like cousins

19:24

in a sense , where

19:27

it's very easy to confuse

19:29

the two . And

19:33

that's why I stressed

19:35

on almost reframing how you're

19:37

looking at the word competition

19:40

, because if you focus

19:42

on you and

19:44

what your values are and

19:46

your benefits are , on how you

19:48

can make an impact in

19:51

whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish

19:53

and not necessarily worry

19:55

about what other people are doing

19:58

, I think you'll be competing

20:00

, but it won't be in the traditional

20:03

sense of what we think competing

20:05

in competition is .

20:07

This was a good thing , because this really made

20:10

me sit down and think and check myself about

20:12

how do I view competition when I was at

20:14

46 years old , then when I was 22

20:16

, 25 , or 17 , or

20:19

even when I was like 40 , or

20:21

42 , right , there's so much that's changed since these

20:24

past couple of years , but

20:26

I think this was a really good project

20:29

. I appreciate you doing this , carrie .

20:31

Well , there you have it . Thank you for listening

20:33

to this episode of

20:35

the podcast where the

20:37

audience talks back . I hope

20:40

to do more of this and I hope , when I

20:42

send out the call via

20:45

the newsletter , that you respond

20:47

and maybe you get to share your opinion

20:49

as well . So , thank

20:51

you and until next time , walk

20:53

good .