0:01

A Hello

0:33

everybody, it's Monday, April 15th and

0:36

got some chapel coming at you.

0:38

It's me Felix and Alex today and

0:40

I just want to kick things off

0:42

by uh and treating some to my

0:45

cohost to just once again help me

0:47

out uh explain some things that happened

0:49

this weekend in the world of sport

0:51

and music and Felix, I'd like

0:53

to begin with you because there

0:55

was the uh big UFC event this weekend

0:57

and I wanted to ask you, did you

1:00

see the uh Brazilian MMA fighter

1:02

who won his match and then

1:04

instructed everyone to read the works

1:06

of Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises?

1:08

First of all, I love America.

1:10

I love the constitution. I love

1:12

the first amendment. I can't I

1:16

want to carry a non ******

1:18

I love it. Property. Let me

1:20

tell Sophie if you care about

1:22

your ****** I'll

1:24

read Ludwig von Mises and

1:27

the six lessons of the ocean

1:29

economics school mother **** Brazilian

1:31

MMA fighters. Um

1:34

this is kind of normal for

1:36

them at this point like every

1:38

Brazilian MMA fighter supported Bolsonaro except

1:40

for one guy literally

1:42

one guy. Did they all came

1:45

up on the green while it's husband. It

1:48

says that I sort of it says uh uh

1:51

MMA star Renato Mosiano knocked out Jalen

1:53

Turner in their lightweight bout at UFC

1:55

300 on Saturday picking

1:57

up his third consecutive victory. then

2:00

urged Americans to read a book

2:02

from an Austrian-American economist. I

2:04

love America. I love the Constitution. I

2:06

love the First Amendment, Moisiano told the

2:09

fans in Las Vegas. I want to

2:11

carry an own fucking guns.

2:13

I love private property. And let me

2:15

tell you something. If you care about

2:17

your own fucking country, Ludwig von Mises

2:19

and the six lessons of the Austrian

2:21

Economic School, motherfuckers. So

2:24

Felix, I guess my question here is, is

2:26

this the least fascist Brazilian MMA star? Well,

2:29

the least fascist would be the one guy who doesn't support the

2:32

one guy who doesn't support the world

2:34

today. Of course, the one guy I'm

2:36

talking about is Damien Maya, who he's

2:40

one of my favorite fighters. He's really cool. He

2:43

was a jujitsu specialist. And

2:46

he actually does look like someone

2:48

who would work at the intercept. Like when you

2:50

see him, you're like, this guy looks

2:52

like he would be writing articles. Like

2:55

he's not out of shape or anything, but he

2:57

looks like an article guy. But he's

2:59

a very, I really liked his fights,

3:02

but he actually was a

3:04

journalist before he was a fighter. And

3:06

so he was like, I don't

3:09

think we should kill all the college professors

3:11

and then take their gold teeth out to

3:13

give 35 year old men cap implants so

3:15

they can join the army. And

3:18

they were all like, shut up, Damien. I

3:20

forgot to mention this another time, but

3:22

did you know that the guy who

3:25

brought jujitsu to America was one of

3:27

the inspirations for Leviticus Cornwall? Yes. I

3:29

forget the guy's name. Okay. Just making

3:31

sure that you made it. Wait, who is Leviticus

3:33

Cornwall? Leviticus Cornwall? You don't know about Leviticus

3:35

Cornwall? No, I don't. The worst robber baron

3:37

in American history? I don't. The

3:40

Hitler of the West? Please inform me.

3:42

The worst guy ever, Dutch Vanderlyn's biggest

3:44

enemy? Oh, from Red Dead Redemption 2.

3:47

He made the trains run on time, but at what

3:49

cost? Yeah. Hey,

3:55

look, I don't care what government I have as long as

3:57

I can fast travel to any point on the map. As

4:00

long as someone's keeping that order, then I

4:02

love private property and owning fucking guns. But

4:04

yeah, I feel if you followed a fan

4:06

of this fighter, the Ludwig von Mises fighter,

4:08

and are you a fan of the Austrian

4:11

School of Economics? Well, I am

4:13

a fan of the Austrian School more

4:15

than anything. I could care less

4:18

about the fighter, though. No, I

4:20

don't really, I never really followed this

4:22

guy that intently.

4:24

He's, I don't know.

4:27

To put it nicely, the UFC

4:30

needs to have a bunch of

4:32

guys who are like around this

4:35

guy's level of skill, or else

4:38

they go out of business, they can't put up a card.

4:41

He is most

4:43

generously like

4:46

a sort of above replacement level

4:49

quality fighter. Personally, in my opinion, I don't

4:52

think anyone west of the Rhine, or east

4:54

of the Rhine, should have an opinion on capitalism.

4:58

Why should I listen to you? Why should

5:00

I listen to the Locke or Hobbes or

5:03

Adam Smith or any of our guys? Where

5:05

this stuff was invented? Why am I going

5:07

over to the places where it

5:10

was all pagans until like 1600? Yeah,

5:12

there is. When he started lecturing

5:15

us, I did get

5:17

sort of annoyed because it's like,

5:19

okay, so you think

5:21

America is doomed unless we like,

5:23

I don't know, start getting really

5:25

into gold, right? How about focus

5:27

on your own backyard for a

5:29

second? Aren't half of your population

5:33

is killed every day by guys

5:36

on motorbikes? Hey, we're not the

5:38

guys who have that problem. You

5:40

are. You guys have that scary

5:42

Spider-Man guy who is in that

5:45

video. You guys have so

5:47

many problems that I've seen. And you're out

5:49

here telling us that we

5:51

need to do the Austrian school or else

5:53

we're doomed. I don't think so. I think

5:55

the Austrian school is good for Austria, but

5:58

like I'd prefer some American economy. place

6:00

for the Americas. As

6:02

you said Alex, I like economists who are from the new world.

6:06

Not every economic system is good for

6:08

every country. But Brazil,

6:10

I mean private property, cars count as

6:12

private property. And so does your body

6:14

I suppose. So yeah, all the kidnappings

6:16

and carjackings in Brazil, I can see

6:18

why he likes private property and

6:20

guns. Also UFC adjacent,

6:24

we talked about it a little, a couple of like the

6:26

other week. But I did, Catherine

6:28

and I did watch the new remake

6:31

of Roadhouse this weekend. And

6:33

I will say, Connor McGregor's performance in

6:35

that movie is probably the favorite, my

6:37

favorite, the movie was shit. But Connor

6:39

McGregor's performance as Connor McGregor, a guy

6:41

who is hired by the

6:43

incarcerated father of the villain, who's

6:46

like a Florida shitheel. He's like a rich Florida guy

6:48

wants to build the con, you know, wants to build

6:50

a luxury resort where the Roadhouse is. And

6:53

his father is like, you're fucking things up,

6:55

son, I got to send in my fixer. And

6:57

he sends in Connor McGregor, who's a guy who's

7:00

hired out to ruin bars. It's a

7:02

great role for

7:04

him. It is perfect.

7:06

Like that you like we were you first

7:09

encounter his character, fleeing

7:11

the house of an Italian man

7:13

whose wife he's despoiled completely nude.

7:15

And then he gets a call and he's

7:17

like, hold on a second, I'm shopping for

7:19

clothes. And then he just assaults a village

7:22

of Italian people and steals their clothing and

7:24

sets their village on fire. And

7:26

then to cause trouble in

7:28

a bar. And there's a scene where he

7:30

walks in, he goes, I fucking do it.

7:32

This Roadhouse is mine. And I'm

7:35

barely doing his voice justice because

7:37

it is unintelligible. And

7:39

he has he has the wildest set of veneers

7:41

I've ever seen. It looks like he has the

7:43

Kanye West grill in like he just has like

7:45

a single tooth on the front of

7:48

his face. But his

7:50

performance was magnetic. It was

7:52

magnetic because he had the same expression on his

7:55

face the entire movie, which is this sort of

7:57

frozen rick this grin that I think comes with

7:59

doing cocaine. all the time? Well yeah,

8:01

this is the role he was born to

8:03

play. This is like his,

8:05

this has really been his job ever

8:08

since he started like just

8:10

getting injured and getting knocked out all

8:12

the time. Like this is

8:14

all he does like in Ireland.

8:16

Like he is one of the

8:18

most sued people internationally, probably the

8:21

most sued man in the EU.

8:23

And if you like look

8:25

at the lawsuits, they're all stuff like

8:27

this. It's like, you know, we talked

8:29

about what to ruin a bar and

8:31

it was just normal in Ireland. Yeah.

8:33

Oh, there's a drunk Irish guy causing

8:35

a big ruckus. Oh, there's a Conor

8:37

McGregor appearance at this bar in Ireland.

8:40

We're making more fucking money. It's the

8:42

producers thing. He fucking

8:44

sucks. He like,

8:46

he beat up that

8:48

old man who wouldn't drink his whiskey.

8:51

For some reason he like, like

8:54

beat up a 50 year old woman and threw

8:56

her off a boat. What

8:59

did she do? I presumably she didn't like

9:01

drink his

9:08

whiskey. I guess probably that seems to be

9:11

like a recurring problem. But he's like, seems

9:13

like she's drinking seawater then. He

9:15

made a better choice. Yeah,

9:19

this is the role he was born to

9:21

play. I was afraid. You know,

9:24

I didn't know anything about this movie. I thought they were going

9:26

to make it like he was like

9:28

Jake Gyllenhaal's mentor. Like, yeah, I know. I

9:30

like the day the lighting or something like

9:33

when I, when I, when I saw the

9:35

trailers, I assumed that he was like a

9:37

heavy that was hired out who knew Jake

9:39

Gyllenhaal from like inside the octagon. And they're

9:41

like, Oh, your bouncer is a professional MMA

9:44

fighter. Well, our anti bouncer is also a

9:46

professional MMA fighter. And no, he's a professional

9:48

guy who fucks up bars. He's

9:50

the bar destroyer. And I think

9:53

it would have been such a better movie if

9:55

it was only Conor McGregor. Yeah, if it was

9:57

just about like the life and times of this

9:59

amazing man. Who ruins every venue

10:01

he goes to yeah? And

10:04

it's like it's like a Thomas crown affair thing. It's

10:07

like he he's Challenged to

10:09

ruin like more like greater

10:11

and greater venues like his

10:13

ultimate task is ruining the Super Bowl

10:18

He fights all the football players yeah, I'm

10:20

on ruined Madison Square Garden yesterday Did you

10:22

see that when Billy Joel was playing

10:24

piano man and then they cut off and went to

10:26

commercials? That was so good

10:29

Alex Alex Catherine and I were watching the

10:31

Billy Joel hundredth medicines Greg our garden concert

10:33

last night You know we were bored. We

10:35

respect Billy Joel in this house in fact.

10:37

We love Billy Joel in this house Oh,

10:39

I do too just not that on song

10:41

that the turn the lights back on was

10:43

so funny Because I'd only

10:45

heard the sharp link fake version of the song

10:47

and the real version is worse It's just an

10:49

old man saying please turn the lights on I'm

10:52

scared I need to go to the bathroom turn

10:54

the lights on but you know Billy coming out

10:56

there in New York State of mind only the

10:58

good die young it was great and

11:00

then like they just heart like he was

11:02

like halfway through piano man and They did

11:04

just hard cut to like the local news

11:06

And it's like what Israel is doing to respond

11:08

to Iran and I was just like Motherfucker

11:11

could these Israelis stop disrespecting our

11:13

country for even one day for

11:16

even one day could they could they

11:18

take us seriously? But no they're fucking

11:20

pissing on Long Island's greatest man ever

11:23

Billy Joel William Joel Well if you

11:25

want to be technical about it if you're trying to

11:28

Convey the aura of a bar in 1973

11:31

there probably would be a TV there and there

11:33

probably would be some Israeli war crimes going in

11:36

and it might cut into the song Yeah,

11:39

they brought out Jerry Seinfeld to Jerry

11:41

Seinfeld in sting yeah, we had fun

11:44

until until they cut it off I

11:46

mean, that's just yeah, that's for

11:48

the further humiliation of the United States by Israel

11:50

And we're gonna talk about that in a second,

11:52

but I want to talk about another

11:54

musical event from this weekend Oh, I came up with

11:56

a joke sting trying to teach Jerry

11:59

Seinfeld about the and

12:01

Jerry's like, no, if it lasts that long, she's going to turn

12:03

18. That's the conversation

12:05

that they had. So

12:19

yeah, we had Billy Joel at the

12:21

Garden, but out on the West Coast,

12:24

Coachella's going down, and Chris

12:27

is my dedicated Coachella, a tender,

12:29

and then this weekend, the Coachella

12:31

Observer. I did want to

12:33

ask you, what the fuck happened with Grimes' set at Coachella?

12:36

Because this is all I'm reading about this morning, is

12:38

that it was some kind of disaster. So could you

12:40

fill me in about what happened with Grimes at Coachella?

12:43

I mean, as far as anybody can tell, it appears

12:45

that she has never used a DJ turntable before in

12:47

her life, and just agreed to do

12:49

a DJ set and showed up with songs that

12:51

she had never heard before without having any idea

12:53

how anything worked and just tried to wing it.

12:57

Presumably, she has DJ'd before, but it

12:59

was a failure on a basic technical

13:01

level that would put even a complete

13:03

amateur like me to shame. And

13:06

so that appears to be the story there. It's

13:09

good for her. A complete fumble that you

13:11

frankly love to see every now and again on that

13:13

big of a scale. Now, also,

13:15

the crowd was rather rude

13:17

to British indie rockers Blur.

13:20

Were people not feeling Blur at Coachella? That

13:23

seemed to be the case. The crowds in general

13:25

seemed to be kind of anemic by which apparently

13:27

there were only 80,000 people there instead of 120,000

13:29

people. The

13:32

supposition is that most people

13:34

were just waiting around for Tyler, the

13:36

creator, to go on and had very

13:38

little idea who Blur was despite probably

13:41

all of those people being hardcore Gorillaz fans.

13:43

Yeah, where are the Apes? Yeah, show me

13:45

the Apes. Come on. Who's this guy in

13:48

a suit? Where's the monkey mask? Why can't

13:50

you do both? It should be like Parliament

13:52

Funkadelic. Yes. It should be one band and

13:54

you have the Gorillaz on stage and you

13:56

have the rest of Blur and you have

13:58

everything. I was... I'm so disappointed

14:00

when I found out he was the Gorillaz

14:03

guy. It's like, in my head I

14:05

built up this entire thing. Do you think they

14:07

were real? No! I

14:09

thought they were real until I was like 27. I

14:13

was aware they were a cartoon, at least

14:15

recently, but like I was

14:17

under the impression they were a cartoon because it

14:19

was like a band of

14:21

like musically gifted burn

14:23

victims or something like that. Like

14:26

it was a phantom of the opera type

14:28

situation. People in witness protection. Yeah, I thought

14:30

it was something cool like that. Like oh

14:32

there's got to be a great reason why

14:35

they're a cartoon. But no,

14:37

they're just normal musicians and some of

14:39

them are even famous musicians, but they

14:41

just wanted to be a cartoon. Would

14:44

you complain if every British celebrity was replaced with

14:46

a cartoon? I guess.

14:49

I don't think I would. No more Elizabeth

14:51

Hurley? She has to,

14:53

she's a toon now? Well, only the

14:55

guys I guess. Okay. Alright.

14:58

I think that's a compromise. Every man has to be

15:00

a cartoon. Do they get dipped in the toon

15:02

stuff? Like in

15:04

Roger Rabbit? I don't know how it works yet.

15:06

Well, if you dip a toon in the eraser

15:08

ooze that kills the dip. It's just called the

15:10

dip. It's the dip, yeah. But if you dip

15:12

a human in the dip then they turn into

15:14

a cartoon and yeah that's what we're going to

15:16

do with Tom Holland. We're turning him

15:18

into a cartoon. Yeah, no. I,

15:21

yeah. As long as it's only the

15:23

guys. Yeah, the birds, they can stay

15:25

flying. They can stay, they can retain

15:28

their humanity. But yeah,

15:30

the British actors and musicians, yeah, I think

15:32

they should all become cartoons. But the blur

15:34

thing mostly just seemed as a wild miscalculation

15:36

of their relative popularity to the crowd that

15:38

might be lining up for Tyler the Creator.

15:42

As my friend Holiday Kirk

15:44

who runs the New Metal Moments

15:46

Twitter account pointed out, in the

15:48

United States every blur album combined

15:51

has sold less than what Limp

15:53

Biscuit's chocolate starfish in the hot dog flavored

15:55

water sold in the first seven days of

15:57

sales. So. That

16:00

gives you a good sense of the

16:02

relative popularity of the band Blur here,

16:04

even though if it was Glasto or

16:06

something or Redding, they would certainly be

16:08

headlining. Yeah, they're not a headliner in the

16:11

US. Yeah. Which is okay.

16:13

Great songs. We love Blurb. Damon, if you

16:15

want a headline, you got to get the gorillas out. How

16:17

do they do gorillas? They got to get them out. They perform live.

16:19

Do they get real gorillas and then like,

16:23

you smoke in effects to make it look like

16:25

they're rapping and playing guitar? I mean, more or

16:27

less, it's a lot of cartoons on the screen.

16:29

But yeah, the guys are still on the stage.

16:31

All right. Yeah. I don't

16:33

know if I like that. You're making people

16:35

pay like concert prices to watch your cartoon. Well,

16:37

speaking of that, another performer at this week's

16:39

or this year's Coachella is the,

16:42

the anime musician

16:44

Hatsune Mikko, who

16:46

is only as a cartoon. But

16:49

apparently, I mean, I caught a little bit

16:51

of her set. It was a little disappointing

16:53

because usually they have an elaborate holographic prism

16:56

that she performs in that to make

16:58

give the appearance of a live cartoon

17:00

on stage. But because of limitations of

17:03

set turnover times and some

17:05

other things, they could only pull out a big

17:07

LCD screen. So you're just watching a character on

17:09

the screen, none of the holographic visual

17:11

effect. And I was

17:14

disappointed. I know a lot of the hardcore

17:16

Hatsune heads were also disappointed with that. Now

17:18

is Hatsune, is that, are

17:20

the lyrics and voice sort

17:23

of computer generated as well? Or is this? Okay.

17:26

The Vocaloid program, it comes with a bunch

17:29

of different people that you can buy and

17:31

they have names and stuff. I've tried to

17:33

use it and it's very difficult, especially when

17:35

it's Japanese and you're trying to get the

17:37

syllables in. I do love the way that

17:39

stuff sounds. I love those artificial voices. I'm

17:41

obsessed with these videos of a Vocaloid

17:44

singing Bach and singing

17:46

old awesome. It

17:56

just adds this new dimension to it. It

17:59

gives it new light. even though it's a dead

18:01

cartoon. But the people who

18:03

like who want to fuck her or whatever, I'm not

18:05

into that. I don't need to see her cartoon. I'm

18:08

really in it for her musical talent. Yeah

18:10

I just want to see a Japanese cartoon

18:12

sing Ode to Joy, a

18:15

computerly, a computer algorithmically generated

18:17

voice. I will say speaking of

18:19

opera, I my highlight

18:21

was the title of the creator set. I

18:24

think he did a fantastic job. He has a

18:26

tremendous sense of staging. He was really living up

18:28

to his the creator moniker. Great

18:30

performance and everything. And I was late

18:32

Saturday night, I was a little altered let us

18:35

say, and I was just basically sitting there

18:37

mumbling to myself, this is

18:39

modern opera. This is what nobles paid Mozart

18:41

to do. This is the kind of performance

18:43

that is like the best of cultural technology

18:45

that a society can produce. Talk about the

18:47

Austrian school. Yeah there you go. And

18:50

then I guess the last performance of note that

18:52

I saw coming out of Coachella was Will Smith

18:54

doing Men in Black with Jay Balvin. Did

18:58

you catch that? Talk about something that's lost

19:00

on the crowd. Yeah who is that from

19:02

1998? For

19:05

me. I actually got some

19:07

insider info from that that apparently a

19:09

source placed deep within the the

19:12

Paramount Institution passed off

19:14

to me that they heard that Will

19:16

Smith and Martin Lawrence were on the

19:19

lot earlier this week practicing for

19:21

a bit that they were going to do at Coachella that

19:23

will perhaps be part of the new Bad Boy movie.

19:25

Like they were they were gonna film something

19:28

at the performance which is why Will

19:30

Smith was there and why he ended up doing a

19:33

Men in Black song with them. So Chet,

19:35

roll out for Bad... what's the new one called?

19:37

Bad Boys? Bad Boys for Life. Bad Boys for

19:39

Life. They're gonna do a song? I think

19:42

that they're gonna do a bit at Coachella but

19:44

while he was there he then also did a

19:46

song. It would be genuinely baffling and maybe in

19:48

a classic Bay way if Will Smith

19:50

as his character in Bad Boys performed the

19:52

Will Smith song Men in Black in the

19:54

movie unexpectedly. You

19:57

should do that. Why not? What bit would you... do

20:00

at Coachella though? Is it a non-musical bit

20:02

that's part of the movie? Like they go to a drug

20:04

dealer through the grounds or something? What do they do in

20:06

bad boys movies? Yeah, it sounds about right. I don't know.

20:09

They pretend to be in

20:11

each other a lot. It could be at anywhere.

20:13

It could be at like a film festival. Yeah,

20:15

they love doing that in the bad boys movies

20:17

where they're like, oh, you, you, Will Smith, you

20:20

have to pretend to be Martin Lawrence and vice

20:22

versa. With, you know, it

20:24

really, when I saw those movies when I was

20:26

a kid, it gave me an unrealistic expectation about

20:28

how much I would have to do that as

20:30

an adult. I was, it made me,

20:34

made me pretty nervous. I was like,

20:36

I've got to learn a lot of

20:39

things about my friends and stat. If

20:41

I'm going to pretend to be them, you are

20:44

Mike Lowry. You be him. That's what you

20:46

are. You're him. I don't hear you're him.

20:48

And you, you, you are you, you'll be you,

20:50

but not in front of her. You

20:53

are him. You are you. So that's a news

20:55

from the world of a sport and culture this

20:57

weekend. But of course, I'd be remiss if we

20:59

didn't talk about the other big news event from

21:01

this weekend, which is fellas,

21:04

Valerie Bernelli is dating the horse whisperer.

21:06

Did you guys know that? Is it

21:09

the horse whisperer? Is it the character Robert

21:11

Redford is based on? No, it's the horse

21:13

whisperer from Twitter. Who's the horse whisperer? You

21:15

don't know the horse whisperer? I don't know

21:18

any of these people. The horse is serious.

21:20

You forgot the horse whisperer. Forget. How could

21:22

you forget? He

21:25

was the guy will who would like,

21:28

uh, write all those threads that were

21:30

like, um, there's a lot of chum,

21:32

fuck you. Lin ass hats

21:35

who are trying to, you know, say

21:37

don't vote for Democrats. He

21:39

was the guy with the horse, Abby. He,

21:43

uh, he was some type of lawyer, I

21:45

believe. Am I right about that? Um, my

21:47

clearest memory of him is when he, he posted

21:49

this long thread about how he was going to

21:51

get his son the greatest vacation of all time.

21:54

And they were going to like get in

21:56

their car with no air conditioning and then

21:58

go to the grand canyon from like, oh, And

22:00

he posted this screenshot of a text with him

22:03

and his kid and it's like 20 messages from

22:05

him and then his kid says okay Which

22:09

is the opposite of how texting your dad should be

22:11

it should be you saying more and then he just says sunglasses

22:15

emoji thumbs up emoji Anyway,

22:19

that guy is dating Valerie Bertinelli who

22:21

is Eddie Van Halen Eddie Van Halen.

22:24

Yeah. Yeah, so if you're a wolf

22:26

gang Van Halen You're real dad who

22:28

died as Eddie Van Halen and then

22:30

your new stepdad is the fucking horse

22:32

whisperer from Twitter Yeah, imagine

22:34

what that feels like. Imagine your hip. That

22:37

is so fun. It is the most you're not my

22:39

real dad shit of all time How

22:42

did they meet I don't know. I hope

22:45

it wasn't on Twitter Yeah on Twitter like

22:47

where else would it be like

22:49

inside? Oh It

22:52

couldn't be anywhere else. I can't imagine

22:54

they like share spaces I

22:57

remember the horse whisperer being kind of like

22:59

a fail adult, you know what I mean?

23:01

Like not anymore Well, not anymore.

23:04

But like both he's about to get

23:06

the royalties from 1984 if he plays

23:08

his cards, right? I mean now he's

23:10

got it set but before he was

23:13

definitely one of those adults where you know

23:15

You get into their car and they still

23:17

have like The crank

23:20

windows. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

23:22

he was yeah. It's like how is

23:24

this still running? I'm yeah I'm so bewildered when

23:26

I see a car like that from like 1994

23:29

and it's got all different color doors and the hood

23:31

is a different color and they have the crank windows

23:33

and it's like how Is how is this still

23:35

running? How can you afford the engine but

23:38

not this other shit like how even a car

23:40

from like 10 years ago? It's like there's

23:42

so much bullshit that goes wrong. All right

23:44

I'm saying I'm seeing coverage of this on

23:46

a daily caller and it says Valerie Bertinelli

23:49

says she's dating infamous liberal Twitter troll and

23:51

shocking reveal Valerie Bertinelli of

23:53

one day at a time and hot and

23:55

Cleveland flame fame revealed She's dating infamous liberal

23:57

Twitter troll the horse whisperer in a Tuesday

24:00

Instagram post according to People magazine. Hortonelli

24:02

has been doing a press junket to promote

24:04

her new cookbook shared Mr. Horse's blog post

24:06

in which he raved about the book writing,

24:08

I just can't with this man and tagging

24:10

him on Instagram in a post according to

24:12

People. Horse had both

24:15

over 400,000 followers on Twitter and has been

24:17

a well-known agitator in online left-wing spaces for

24:19

some time now. He drew the ire of

24:21

Bernie Bros in 2019 when he hijacked a

24:23

pro Sanders hashtag and mocked the Senators 2016

24:26

candidacy with a tongue-in-cheek satire

24:29

that accused Sanders of torpedoing Hillary

24:31

Clinton's campaign. Wow, everything

24:33

old is new again. Well good luck

24:35

to them. Yeah, good for that guy. Yeah,

24:37

that is the horse whisperer

24:41

latching on to the Van Halen

24:43

royalties that late in his life.

24:46

That is the greatest Hail Mary

24:48

of all time. Yeah. Like

24:50

imagine he's in high school in 1986 and

24:53

the bullies in school are listening to

24:55

Panama and driving by him. He's like,

24:57

fuck you, Homo. And he's just

24:59

like, oh, oh. And

25:02

then he's making this plan and he's like, every

25:04

time you listen to that song, I'm going to get

25:06

a fucking check. Yeah. I'll show you, I'm

25:09

not going to win this one. Yeah.

25:11

Like that is incredible. That

25:15

is like his adulthood, it

25:17

looked grim. It was going

25:20

bad. Like

25:22

you said, he was putting a road trip

25:24

in a broken car with no air conditioning

25:26

with his son who's like, okay, shut up

25:28

dad. Like clearly he gets a

25:30

ploy to lose your son. Yeah. Clearly

25:33

waiting for him to get out. Yeah. Driving

25:36

through like Death Valley with no air conditioning with

25:38

all the doors missing. I said, well, we got

25:40

a 5,000 miles to go, one mile an hour. It's

25:44

like, this is better stay in the car. He

25:47

was so, things were going so bad. He

25:49

was trying to kill his son via a

25:51

hot car when the sun was like 26.

25:55

That's how bad it was still in it and they were running

25:57

the car. Yeah. But

25:59

then suddenly. Valerie

26:01

Bertinelli is like, hey,

26:04

I like what you have to say about Wednesday, Gleap

26:06

Corp, reboot

26:09

your system of coffee or whatever he's doing nowadays.

26:13

I don't know. And it

26:16

really does inspire you to keep going. Never

26:18

give up. Yeah. Never

26:20

give up. Never stop posting. You

26:23

could be dating even Hitler's ex-wife through

26:25

the magic of social media. The

26:31

thing I wanted to talk about the other big

26:33

news story from this weekend is, of course, Iran.

26:37

They fucked around and they're about to find out.

26:39

They're about to find out why we don't have

26:41

universal health care in this country. Oh,

26:44

boy. Iran did

26:46

a retaliatory strike for

26:49

Israel bombing their consulate

26:51

in Damascus. I don't

26:54

know. Do you have any

26:56

observations on this? It seems to be

26:58

a very telegraphed punch that

27:01

no one died in. Well, I mean, we don't

27:03

know. It

27:05

is weird how I've seen nothing about how... I've

27:10

only heard that most of the drones and missiles

27:12

were intercepted. But I've not seen

27:14

any footage of the damage that they supposedly did.

27:16

I don't know what's going on

27:18

with that. Is that why we don't have universal health care?

27:21

Is it just that? Yeah. Well,

27:23

there's a lot of reasons. But it's like

27:25

using the anti-aircraft gun. Well,

27:27

at least they were, I guess. I

27:31

guess if our money's going to something that's successfully

27:34

shot down, a missile that wasn't

27:36

going to kill anybody. I mean, like, I... Who

27:39

knows? I could easily

27:41

see it going one way

27:43

where it was so telegraphed that, yeah, it didn't kill

27:45

anyone. Or that maybe it did

27:47

kill a few soldiers and they'll just never admit

27:49

it or admit it like 30 years from now,

27:52

like they do with a lot of things. They'll

27:54

say they die to food poisoning. Yeah. One

27:57

of the less embarrassing ways that they die in the

27:59

IDF. It was a foot fungus. Yeah,

28:03

that's a bit of a failure. Fell into the Dead Sea

28:05

and got covered in the black dirt and then someone thought

28:07

he was black and shot him. Friendly

28:09

fire incident. It was probably something

28:12

like that and not the missile. I do

28:14

have to say I was like, you

28:16

know, I was one of the guys pulling

28:18

for whatever the attack would be. Because we

28:20

didn't know what it was until things were

28:22

in the air, which was very fun. I

28:25

thought that was very fun. It was

28:28

it added a lot

28:30

of uncertainty to it. And I thought

28:33

like everyone else thought, oh, they just

28:35

threw a bunch of slow drones at

28:37

them. Like, I get why they did

28:39

it. But that's kind of disappointing, you

28:42

know. And then it turned out

28:44

that they they did a junior

28:46

version of the Russia strategy where they

28:48

send a bunch of like RC,

28:51

like 500000 RC

28:53

planes at you and you shoot

28:55

them down. But then the

28:57

supersonic missiles come. And

28:59

I think like, OK,

29:02

short of, you

29:04

know, blowing up the

29:06

Knesset and, you know,

29:08

killing Ben Gavir or whatever, short

29:10

of that, this is the best it could have

29:12

gone. Right. Because they

29:14

showed a capability to

29:17

like really fuck Israel up if it comes

29:19

to that. But they didn't

29:21

do so much that like they

29:24

need to retaliate. You know,

29:26

it's like it's one of the best outcomes we

29:28

could have gotten. And I would

29:30

have not not predicted that Iran

29:32

would show show

29:35

enough of a deterrent

29:37

potential without killing anyone

29:40

or maybe only killing like 12 people. Who

29:42

knows? Maybe we'll never know. They're pretty rational

29:44

for a crazy pariah state. Yeah. Yeah. They

29:47

have all these all these chances to start

29:49

World War three and kill a bunch of

29:51

Americans and they don't do it. Oh,

29:54

yeah. After what was the guy's

29:56

name that Trump killed? Lamani. So Lamani.

29:58

Yeah. They can have guns. They had

30:00

a very good reason to just fire everything

30:02

they had at Washington DC and they didn't.

30:05

It seems like they're the definition of like

30:07

proportional international law-based military response. I

30:09

mean like they told them what was happening.

30:11

I think they were basically counting on

30:14

the fact that these drones would get shot down.

30:16

And they're like, okay, we've responded. But like

30:19

we consider the matter closed. And at least

30:21

over the weekend and as I saw on the

30:24

Sunday shows, the line from DC was that the

30:26

United States will not be

30:28

backing Israel and then the offensive war

30:30

launched against Iran. But then we are

30:32

100% committed to their defense. And

30:35

like Netanyahu was like... When was the last time there

30:37

was an offensive war? Yeah. When

30:39

was the last time someone claimed to have an offensive

30:41

war? Like 1802? Well,

30:43

I mean they're pretending that like the drones that

30:45

were launched just came out of nowhere as well.

30:47

They're like, oh, they just attacked us because of

30:49

how, as you said Alex, how irrational they are.

30:52

Yeah. It seems like if

30:55

Israel responds to this or escalates as we

30:57

know Netanyahu and his government want to do.

31:00

I mean that's why they bombed that consulate

31:02

in the first place. Is there

31:04

any doubt that the United States is going to just say fuck it?

31:07

Or is it going to say fend for yourself, we're done

31:09

with this? Because I mean it seems like

31:11

they reached the limit of it this weekend by just

31:13

being like, okay, it's done. Everyone,

31:15

you know, take a time out. But like,

31:17

do we trust that? We're not at

31:19

war with Iran yet, but like it seems

31:21

seems rather tenuous. I mean, like

31:24

I don't doubt that there's a lot of

31:26

elements in the US security state who would

31:28

definitely prefer that. But at the

31:30

same time, just

31:32

going by like whatever cynical

31:35

calculus, you

31:37

know, the Joe Biden or the people around him are

31:40

looking at. I don't like

31:42

no matter what an actual like

31:44

region wide conflict with Iran that

31:47

we are heavily involved with win

31:49

or lose or whatever

31:51

would be outstandingly ugly

31:53

and almost guaranteed he

31:55

loses reelection. Yeah, that would

31:58

be the worst war of all time. It

32:00

would be so bad. Like Iraq is,

32:02

it's so easy. All that flat land

32:04

between the rivers. You've got all these

32:06

cities in a row. You've got Basra

32:08

on the coast. Imagine going up in

32:10

those mountains. It looks like Afghanistan,

32:12

but worse. They would, yeah. If

32:15

we do that, there are

32:17

going to be so many like

32:19

estate sales of Dodge Challenger. It'll

32:22

be terrible. It's

32:24

Afghanistan with a real military. Yeah.

32:26

Yeah. And I guess that's what

32:28

I make of the Biden White

32:31

House and the State Department response to this

32:33

is that they're like, okay, okay, everyone, everyone

32:35

back to your corners. Let's have a timeout.

32:37

Let's just chill out and make

32:39

sure that all the fighting is contained in

32:41

this tiny corner of land by the Mediterranean

32:43

Sea, where there are a million people trapped

32:45

who can't fight back. Let's make sure the

32:47

war is focused on them and not, for

32:50

instance, the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. At this point,

32:52

it's kind of like the Republicans with the

32:54

abortion issue where they're like, yeah, yes,

32:56

we agree, but just stop. Stop.

32:58

There's an election coming up. Stop. Just

33:01

take like a few months off, please.

33:04

The drone attack. And by the way, I love that they've,

33:06

I've tried through media this weekend, I

33:09

kept hearing them referred to as suicide

33:11

drones. And I just love that terminology,

33:13

like they're suicide bombers or something like,

33:15

yeah, these hundreds of airplanes were

33:17

just sent to their death in

33:19

a drone wave attack. Like there were

33:21

high school students in the Iran-Iraq War.

33:25

Yeah. That's

33:33

what they do. But my favorite thing to come

33:35

out from the sort of the drama

33:38

this weekend has resulted from

33:40

the wave of drone attacks is

33:43

Felix. And I just saw you post about this before

33:45

we started recording. But my favorite new character is

33:48

self-appointed civilian spokesman of Israel,

33:50

Elon Levi. This guy

33:52

got fired from his government job. Now

33:54

he's just helping fake press conferences under

33:57

the banner of civilian spokesperson for Israel.

34:00

It is adorable. Is

34:02

that like a citizen's arrest? Yeah,

34:04

yeah. It's like a citizen

34:07

press conference. He's got like a fucking

34:09

like, he's got like his

34:11

own background and fucking podium and everything.

34:13

And it's so clearly in like his

34:15

laundry room with a green screen. It's

34:19

so cute. I wish it

34:21

wasn't like, you know, in service of

34:23

a genocide because it really is like

34:25

adorable. It's like when a little kid

34:27

is like, I'm writing a Star Wars

34:30

and gives you like a sheet of paper with

34:32

a bunch of stick figures of lightsabers. It's

34:36

so precious. But yeah,

34:39

no, he's I don't even know

34:41

why he's doing that. Like

34:43

I don't think being a spokesman is

34:45

like being an actor where you do

34:47

a self tape. Is

34:51

he hoping like Azerbaijan sees that and is

34:53

like, wow, this kid's got some initiative. Yeah,

34:59

no, how did this guy get fired from his

35:01

job as like some sort of semi official spokesperson

35:03

for the Israeli government? Were

35:05

his lies just not convincing enough because

35:07

it just doesn't really seem like there's a

35:09

limit for the dumb shit that you can say in

35:11

defense of Israel. But like this guy

35:13

was too much of a loser even for them. If

35:16

I'm remembering right, I could

35:19

be getting a mixed up with another similar

35:21

guy, but I think he like fucked

35:23

up so bad that like he

35:26

had to apologize to some British

35:28

politician like a Tory if

35:30

I remember right. Like he I'd

35:33

have to look it up. But

35:35

like he basically like libel someone

35:37

and they made him apologize.

35:40

He said JK Rowling did the Holocaust. Yeah.

35:44

This guy is very confused. There's

35:46

a biblical exit exegesis. I don't know how to pronounce

35:48

that. I should know how to pronounce that. The book

35:51

of Esther exegesis of the book of

35:53

Esther to be written about how Haman's plot

35:55

to destroy the Jews was only symbolic and

35:57

performative and he intended it to fail all

35:59

of them. along. So I

36:01

guess Iran is the

36:04

Persians in the book of Esther and

36:07

they did that to help the Jews so

36:09

they're on our side. Is that

36:11

what he's saying? Because that was that was the

36:13

guy he was uh he was fucking a Jewish

36:15

bitch. So he said you

36:19

can't kill all the Jews or my wife's gonna get

36:21

so mad at me. You know Jewish wives

36:24

are like, this is all your dick

36:26

off of you. You know go with

36:28

the the chosen people. Yeah he learned

36:30

the hard way. Yeah that doesn't make

36:33

any sense. There's another one. For those

36:35

who aren't following Iron Shield operation, Iron

36:37

Dome missile defense, Iron Swords war, and

36:39

Iron Wall doctrine are all different things.

36:42

Well that's really stupid. I'm

36:44

supposed to remember that like this is this is

36:46

supposed to make them look better. That

36:48

they named all their shit the same thing.

36:50

It's like when Regan named something Star Wars.

36:53

There's already a thing called that. Call it

36:55

anything else. Iron Sharp, Iron

36:57

Dome sharpens iron steel. We all know

36:59

this Alex. It's an Iron Age ideology.

37:02

It's an Iron Age book written to retroactively

37:04

justify why they should live in Canaan. Even

37:07

though they were the ones who were there

37:09

the whole time. They've been there the

37:11

whole goddamn time. No one came. They're

37:13

all indigenous to it. Everyone

37:15

is there. And then at

37:17

least from the US side I did love seeing Lurch,

37:19

John Federman

37:22

on the Sunday shows and he said

37:24

quote, Iran had to have some fireworks

37:26

after Israel smoked that Iranian general. And

37:28

I'm here for that. I love

37:31

this guy. I'm

37:36

finna kill myself on my son's

37:38

birthday. Federman,

37:42

man. Felix, you've been correct

37:48

about Federman for longer than everyone. I

37:50

see shit like this and

37:52

I'm like, did Israel just plant like

37:54

a small bomb in his brain when they fixed

37:57

his stroke? But no, he's always been like this.

37:59

Yeah. But like he's basically the only Democrat

38:01

now like he's the only has to be making

38:03

it worse, right? Yeah, but like right now

38:06

he's the only democ. The only responses I see to

38:08

Fetterman now are our Republicans saying

38:10

the stroke fixed the woke Yeah,

38:12

the only thing I see like I don't

38:14

see Democrats really supporting him I don't like

38:17

it just seems like Republicans being like well

38:19

I guess uh, this is head being all

38:21

fucked up made him not stupid anymore And

38:23

that's just it's his entire thing for like two

38:26

years now like what and it's it's

38:28

making Israel look bad It's making Zionists

38:30

look bad. So I guess it's good.

38:32

Yeah, Alex is right. The only like

38:34

positive feedback I see on his feed

38:36

are like it's accounts called like Lion

38:39

of Judah being like I

38:41

use I I used to hate you But

38:43

now I think you're base and

38:46

like, you know regular like,

38:48

you know Patriot Eagle I

38:51

can't believe it, but I like this Fetterman

38:53

guy and then everyone else reminding

38:55

him that he tried to root his son's

38:57

birthday party I just remember

39:00

like before before October 7th Fetterman was

39:02

the guy being like any Democrat criticizing

39:04

Biden is helping Trump. So I

39:07

mean, I know it's it's fun to see his

39:10

career now We're like he's being he's being used

39:12

as the example of how Biden saying that we

39:14

won't Back up Israel's

39:16

response to this. He's being quoted

39:18

as like both sides blast Biden

39:20

for you know Capitulation to Iran

39:22

and the other side is just

39:24

John Fetterman is the only Democrat

39:26

not backing Biden on this yet

39:29

He's like like Bob

39:31

Menendez has been significantly better

39:33

on all of this than

39:35

fucking Fetterman. It's insane Yeah,

39:37

he knows not to get a headline every day What's

39:42

the what's the shitty town that Fetterman's

39:44

from Braddock, Pennsylvania, yeah I

39:46

hated that when everyone was like, oh you

39:48

need to check this guy out. He's awesome

39:50

He's the mayor of a town that sucks

39:52

Braddock is lying too, sir Yeah, and he

39:54

cared about it so much that he had

39:56

to ruin his family's life to be a

39:59

senator. That's how much He cared about Braddock that

40:01

he immediately had to leave and make his kids

40:03

be on TV all the time and be in

40:05

those pictures Where people were

40:07

comparing them to like Ron DeSantis his family

40:09

and being like look at this stupid fucking

40:12

shitty 14 year old John Federman Son, what

40:14

a loser. Look at him in his hoodie

40:16

in his shitty hair. What a fucking asshole.

40:18

Ron DeSantis his kid is awesome That's what

40:21

he put his kids to because

40:23

he had to be a senator and it's working

40:25

out great for everybody Before before he was

40:27

a senator He was always bad

40:30

on Israel and people always figured it was

40:32

a calculation Like it was signaling to a

40:34

pack and Democratic majority for Israel like hey,

40:37

don't worry You don't have to worry about me.

40:39

Don't get involved. I'll be even if I I

40:41

know I look like a left challenger but I

40:43

won't like I won't fuck anything up.

40:45

Don't worry, but When

40:48

he was just mayor of Braddock I

40:51

didn't understand the attraction because it's like

40:53

all he did was he'd go on

40:55

TV and be like We

40:58

don't we don't have coke

41:00

zero yet in Braddock Braddock

41:03

has no coke crystal machines and

41:05

it's like okay Complete

41:09

bullshit is bullshit, but it's like

41:11

you're never go there. You're the

41:13

mayor Why don't you try getting

41:15

discovery zone to come to Braddock?

41:18

All you do is go on TV and

41:20

talk about how you guys have one basketball

41:22

hoop You're not you're not

41:24

like helping your town Do you

41:26

think that Modi gets on TV and

41:28

is like India sucks? It's

41:30

bad. He might I can't understand him But

41:38

I guess like he's always been like this

41:40

on Israel, but like now he is Like

41:43

actively breaking with the I thought he was

41:45

mostly a careerist who would just get in

41:47

line with her Biden or Pelosi But like

41:50

he's breaking with them on this

41:52

issue like in an election year and it's just

41:54

that I don't know It's it's very I guess

41:56

it's like it's not surprising to me, but it's

41:59

just funny that he's made this the

42:01

hill to die on or the hill

42:03

to go to sleep on in his case does

42:05

he just know that the Republicans are gonna they're

42:07

gonna run a normal guy next time like

42:10

they're not gonna take a chance unseating

42:12

him but I don't think he would win anyway

42:15

yeah he's obviously less

42:17

capable than he was when he ran

42:19

the first time I mean who knows

42:21

he did have like you know the

42:24

people around him ran like a very

42:26

competent campaign last

42:28

time are they still there that's what

42:30

that is the one payroll I don't

42:32

know that's a good question and the

42:34

other thing is of course on

42:37

the other hand well

42:39

what is a normal Republican because

42:41

there is it there really isn't

42:43

like a generic Republican out there

42:46

so like I you know I don't I

42:48

don't think that there's I don't

42:50

think that there's like a Scott Walker

42:53

waiting in the wings but

42:55

yeah take a lot I think I

42:57

don't know I would it would

42:59

be funny to see him lose because

43:02

you know he would not take

43:04

it well but you know

43:06

if I had to bet on it now

43:09

knowing what I know now I don't think

43:11

he would what if a Republican runs against

43:13

him on a platform of anti-Semitism Jackson

43:15

Hinkle oh okay now we're

43:20

something like that that's a great I know talk about

43:22

the people you run against

43:24

him think about the visual contrast between Fetterman and

43:26

Jackson Hinkle you know a guy who is always

43:28

in a hoodie and and looks

43:31

older than he is and the guy

43:33

who's always in a suit and looks

43:35

older than he is that's I think that

43:37

would be the election of a lifetime that

43:39

would be that would be a really would

43:41

be the posting election I love Jackson Hinkle

43:44

he's getting all this he's getting all this

43:46

press now because like his Twitter following grew

43:48

by like 10 million people during the latest

43:51

Israel-Gaza war but like

43:54

I like him because a like people are saying oh

43:56

like he's a con artist like he's full of shit

43:59

and fine Look,

44:01

if you are opposed to Putin, you

44:03

support the US military and you

44:06

hate Bashar al-Assad. That

44:08

side has got plenty of 20-year-olds who look

44:10

like they're 40 who wear a suit every

44:12

fucking day of their life and

44:14

then opine on current events. How come we

44:16

can have one guy who supports Assad? He

44:19

can be a young kid who wears a suit

44:21

and looks 40 years old too. I don't get

44:23

everyone so mad at Jackson Hinkle. Jackson

44:25

Hinkle. I

44:27

like him because he's tried everything. He's

44:31

tried every political ideology. Yeah.

44:34

He was a Bernie bro back in 2016. He

44:37

wasn't just a Bernie bro. He was an

44:39

environmentalist. He wasn't just that. He

44:42

was trying to be like

44:44

a tertiary Parkland kid. He was like,

44:46

oh, I'm in the Parkland affiliate system.

44:49

I'm in the Parkland kids minor league

44:51

system. Parkland in the

44:54

Parkland high school without walls where you

44:56

can audit chemistry classes. Yeah. Live

44:59

in California. I just I love

45:01

someone like that. Like he has everyone talks

45:03

about him like he's so fucking sinister. But

45:06

I think he's awesome because he has like

45:08

Jenna Maroney's personality. But for

45:10

politics, maybe Israel should have made

45:13

all those videos. Kids

45:16

getting murdered. Yeah. I don't want

45:18

that guy to have a lot of followers on Twitter. So

45:20

maybe we should not make new videos

45:23

of kids getting obliterated and

45:25

then you won't be able to post him. Also

45:27

I am not one to argue with

45:29

the wisdom of like Sumali

45:32

and Turkish dads who compose his

45:34

entire audience now like he is.

45:37

I will never say after I found

45:39

out that like you know all the

45:41

60 year old fathers of the global

45:43

South love him. I'm like look

45:45

he can't be that bad. He looks

45:47

you know he dressed he dresses in a suit

45:50

all the time. I think that cannot that

45:52

cannot be underscored enough. Look

45:54

like you know am I so hard for

45:56

his mega communism thing and like I don't know it's

45:58

just like the. post 2020, it

46:00

just seemed to be like, there wasn't any more

46:03

juice to squeeze from that. So like now I'm

46:05

like, Oh, I'm a communist, but I hate degenerate

46:07

gay people and trans people. It

46:09

like, look, am I thrilled about that?

46:11

No. But as I said before, if someone

46:13

who we just there, there needs to be

46:15

one person who stands with Bashar al Assad,

46:18

who looks 50 years older than he

46:20

does, and we're in carries a briefcase everywhere

46:22

and gets to be have millions of

46:24

Twitter followers and just like, we need

46:26

a diversity of viewpoints among the sort of

46:28

striving media influencer set. What is Assad

46:30

up to? What does he do? Like day to

46:32

day? I mean, probably I

46:34

don't know. He's picking up the dental

46:36

racket again. No, he's an eye doctor.

46:38

He's an eye doctor. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

46:41

Do you remember what is iTunes least?

46:43

And it was all like black eyed

46:45

peas and stuff like that. Was it

46:48

really? Yeah, yeah. Is it better than

46:50

Obama's fucking playlist? It

46:52

was honest. I'm surprised. I'm

46:54

surprised you don't know this, Alex. Yeah, I

46:56

don't know. I know Jeffrey Epstein's playlist. I

46:58

you know, Abstain's is not a song. What

47:00

are what are you playing with that one

47:03

song by fun by our friend? He

47:09

thought he thought it was sung from the perspective of a kid.

47:15

JEE vacation is

47:17

his profile on Spotify. And it's still

47:20

up. And he's got like a

47:22

playlist called me likey now, which,

47:24

uh, no one doesn't have anything on it now. I hope

47:26

they didn't. Oh, no, here we go. Public

47:28

playlists. He spells everything wrong.

47:30

There's one called classical instead of classical.

47:32

And it's got the 1812 Overture. It's

47:35

got the Imperial March from Star Wars. My

47:38

favorite classical music. It's got like the the

47:43

Nutcracker theme and Joy to

47:45

the World. So that's a that's

47:47

the caliber of intellect that guy was. All

47:50

right. Here in case you wanted in case

47:52

anyone believed that like he got paid to

47:54

do taxes for Leon black.

47:56

Here's here's What's

48:00

what was on a sad side pins Blake

48:03

Shelton singing God gave me you

48:07

Wow, don't talk just kiss by

48:09

right said Fred Bizarre

48:12

love triangle new order. That's a

48:14

great song. Hey that I play.

48:16

Yeah We can't

48:18

go wrong by the cover girls not familiar. I

48:20

never heard of it hurt by

48:22

Leona Lewis Is that a number

48:24

of the nine ish nail song? No, that's sort of

48:27

like 2009 core Yeah,

48:29

I remember Leona Lewis. I don't remember that one.

48:32

Look at me now by Chris Brown Like

48:36

me like 58 yeah, yeah,

48:39

I mean I can't

48:41

I really don't know I guess

48:43

like every time every time you

48:45

go to like a mid-level like

48:47

a Medium quality

48:50

eye doctor and you're in their

48:52

waiting room. This is the sort of stuff they play

48:55

Maybe yeah, it's like an eye doctor thing more

48:57

than anything I think if I

48:59

was a baby boomer and I was president of a

49:01

country in the desert My favorite song would be cashmere

49:03

by Led Zeppelin This

49:11

is my kind of classic rock if you could

49:13

yeah if you could listen to that and you

49:15

can like you can like get your military guys

49:17

to like You know you

49:19

you force them to like take you on a

49:21

cool ride to the desert where you're while you're

49:24

blasting it But no, he's

49:26

you know, he's listening to Blake

49:28

Shelton Jason Aldean all

49:30

that shit and none of those guys would

49:33

be man enough to actually come over there

49:35

I don't think anyone would do it a lot of

49:37

them even in like work Menistan if you go over

49:40

there and you do a paid party for their president

49:42

everybody gets mad at you and you have to be like

49:44

Oh the fuck am I supposed to know what goes on

49:46

in Turkmenistan? That's

49:48

not my fucking truth. If the people at

49:50

the State Department don't know what Turkmenistan is

49:55

If people over there don't know the name of their

49:57

own president why would all know that? It's

50:00

like yeah, yeah, they do a concert at the presidential palace

50:02

and you have to find out a week later Oh like

50:04

he boils people to death. I mean, it's just

50:07

like well. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't

50:09

get the memo They paid

50:11

me a billion dollars. I'm sorry It's not

50:13

as good as us boiling prisoners in the

50:15

air by not giving them air conditioning in

50:17

Louisiana Yeah, seems like a

50:19

lot of his songs are like sort of

50:21

daddy daughter for like sort of like dances at

50:24

weddings You know like the father-daughter dance He's

50:26

a romantic art yeah, well, I

50:29

mean I do my conclusion of New

50:31

Order. He's a British guy basically He's

50:33

yeah, he's a British guy. He made

50:35

a bunch of overtures to America before

50:37

and Like I

50:39

just just going by his iTunes You

50:41

can kind of see they were authentic

50:44

overtures like unlike fucking Obama and his

50:46

like highly curated end of year lists

50:48

Which are just that

50:50

is the phoniest bullshit. I can't stand

50:52

that shit. Yeah. No. Yeah

50:55

Only one of those guys was born in America

51:08

Talked about Braddock, Pennsylvania But there's another town in

51:10

Pennsylvania that I would like to get to as

51:12

long as we're talking about you know Potential

51:15

normal Republicans. I got

51:17

I got it We got to listen to

51:20

the Trump speech about Gettysburg because honestly I

51:22

think this puts the Gettysburg address to shame

51:24

This is my favorite thing any American politician

51:26

has ever said about Gettysburg including Abraham Lincoln

51:29

So if we just get a we get some Trump

51:32

at Gettysburg where our Union was

51:34

saved by The immortal

51:36

heroes at Gettysburg Gettysburg what

51:38

an unbelievable Battle

51:41

that was the Battle of Gettysburg what

51:43

an unbelievable I mean it

51:45

was so much and so interesting and

51:47

so vicious and horrible and so

51:49

beautiful I'm any different ways it represented

51:51

such a big you can't be a

51:53

portion of behind him in your honor

51:56

country Gettysburg Wow I

51:58

go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania I needed to

52:00

look and to watch. And

52:02

the statement of Robert E. Lee, who's no

52:04

longer in favor, did you ever notice that?

52:06

No longer in favor. Never

52:08

fight uphill, me boys. Never fight

52:10

uphill. They were fighting uphill. He

52:12

said, wow, that was a big

52:14

mistake. And all the

52:17

sisters were like, and they were

52:19

fighting uphill, me boys. But it

52:21

was too late. I like the

52:23

general seduncture right there. Man.

52:32

I love how he said he's out of favor.

52:35

Like it happened the last few weeks.

52:38

Like, the lost cause historiography is coming

52:40

back. General

52:44

Robert E. Lee is falling out of favor. No

52:46

longer hot. I was thinking about

52:48

what proportion of people in that

52:50

audience have any British ancestry or any ancestors

52:52

who fought in the Civil War on either

52:54

side. And I would guess it's like 10%.

52:58

And the rest is Polish and German. There's just

53:00

a, there's so many things about

53:02

the way he just inadvertently creates

53:04

just like beautiful, beautiful

53:06

poetry almost. The phrase, I

53:09

go to Gettysburg and I love to look

53:11

and watch. I love, I go to Gettysburg

53:13

to look and watch. I

53:15

know that feeling. Yeah. It's a great

53:18

battlefield. We went there. Yeah. I

53:20

went there on field trips. I went there in eighth

53:22

grade on a field trip and then I switched schools

53:24

and in ninth grade we went back on a field

53:26

trip. And it's fine. It's like, it's not amazing,

53:29

but it's a cool field and you can

53:31

climb up the thing and look around and

53:33

I love to look and watch. Yeah. It's

53:36

not a field that I would

53:38

use like today for all my

53:40

field desires. There are better fields.

53:43

We've you know, we've advanced in

53:45

our agricultural ability. We can cultivate

53:47

larger land masses. But

53:50

if you were in 1864 or something, that

53:52

was probably one of the better fields you

53:55

could have. And as far as

53:57

a war field, awesome. It must have been so

53:59

sick. a battle happen if you

54:01

were a farmer and you're like, I'm so

54:03

sick of this, I'm so sick of this.

54:05

Year 23 of hay, just harvesting the hay

54:07

and putting it in hay, fucking hate this

54:10

life. And then 500,000 people die on your

54:12

battlefield. And

54:15

they have to, if the government has to

54:17

buy it out from under you and turn

54:19

it into a historical monument, you're like, this

54:21

is the best day of my life. Oh

54:23

my God, that was the equivalent of like,

54:25

slipping at the library back then. Was

54:28

just hoping, hoping that like

54:30

a war happened at your farm. Before

54:32

that it was like, I hope this

54:34

farm is like the beachhead of the

54:37

British re-invasion. It's like when Robert

54:39

E. Lee got his plantation

54:41

confiscated to make the cemetery

54:43

there. And he was like, yes, I

54:45

don't have to see black people for any reason. I

54:50

don't have to see them at all.

54:52

Yes, what did Robert E. Lee do

54:54

immediately after that? He became an academic.

54:56

He became a work. He fell

54:58

out of favor immediately. Okay, the

55:00

other side, it says Gettysburg is, what do

55:02

you say? It's so indicative of our great

55:05

success in this country. And then

55:07

it's something about looking and watching. Like, yeah, if you

55:09

were that farmer in 1864, yeah,

55:12

you'd have something amazing to watch. You'd get to see

55:14

30,000 people die in like

55:16

a minute. But today you got

55:19

to get a show. What are you watching there? Just

55:21

grass? I mean, you can look at it and take it

55:23

in. Instagram.

55:29

But I did want to

55:31

share, there's a Newsweek article about

55:33

this. And the headline is Donald

55:35

Trump's Gettysburg remarks trashed by Civil

55:37

War historians. Quote, oh, shut up.

55:40

What did he say that was wrong? What did

55:42

he say in that letter? It was a great

55:44

battle. He loves to look at it. Yeah.

55:47

You don't love to look at it. You're a historian. You don't love

55:49

to look at it. Since you're, yeah. Writing

55:53

on X, TJ Styles said the former president's

55:55

take on the Battle of Gettysburg, which has

55:57

fought between July 1st and 3rd. 1863,

56:00

okay, I was off by a year, and Kilvit

56:02

estimated 51,000 people was

56:05

inarticulate and reductive. I mean,

56:07

no shit, it was off the cuff. He

56:09

was just saying, Gettysburg, how about an amazing

56:11

event? We were expecting presidents to be articulate.

56:13

Oh my god, you're telling me that Donald

56:16

Trump didn't give like a four-hour

56:18

seminar on the tactics used

56:20

at Gettysburg. No way, no

56:23

way, I want my money

56:25

back. It was so

56:27

interesting and so vicious and horrible and

56:29

so beautiful in many different ways. Isn't

56:32

this what like Civil War historians, like they've been

56:34

selling this line of bullshit forever. I mean like

56:37

Ken Burns' Eat Your Heart Out. I was like

56:39

this was a thousand times more interesting than his fucking

56:41

Civil War, Civil War Blathering. Yeah,

56:44

seeing 50,000 people die is vicious,

56:46

interesting, and in some ways, beautiful.

56:49

And indicative of our success. Indicative

56:51

of our great success. Yeah,

56:54

we had 50,000 people we could just

56:56

let go. We're

56:59

like, see ya. And

57:03

I guess like, I mean, yeah, his

57:05

comments on Gettysburg, like I said, the

57:07

Gettysburg address is now number two in

57:09

the greatest remarks ever said by Gettysburg

57:11

by an American politician. But I did

57:13

want to talk because Donald Trump was

57:15

in court today. Just last

57:18

thing when I talk about his trial

57:20

for the Stormy Daniels Hushman case has

57:22

begun. Jury selection is still going. I

57:25

mean, it's going to be going on here like

57:27

and I don't know if you guys saw this, but

57:30

like Maggie Haberman and the sort of court watchers

57:32

today. The big thing everyone talked about

57:34

is that he was nodding off in court with his

57:36

mouth, a gape drool

57:38

coming out of his mouth and had to be

57:40

sort of nusseled awake by one of his lawyers.

57:44

It's sad to hear that he relapsed

57:46

on heroin. That's what I was thinking. He's

57:49

just nodding out at all. A

57:52

tweet I found earlier from liberal Lisa in

57:54

Oklahoma. Yeah, yeah. When finally

57:56

does get escorted off to prison. in

58:00

handcuffs, the cold harsh reality of

58:02

Adderall withdrawals is going to fuck

58:04

his world. Delirium tremors are not

58:06

a joke." Delirium tremors?

58:08

Yeah. What the fuck are

58:11

you talking about? Yeah,

58:13

because the one thing that's unheard of is being

58:15

able to get drugs in prison. Maybe not Adderall,

58:17

but he can stay up if he needs to.

58:20

But I feel like she said, how long

58:22

has this been going on? Well, here's the

58:24

amazing thing about it. It says here, the

58:26

trial will begin with perhaps the most scrutinized

58:28

jury selection since the trial of O.J. Simpson

58:30

three decades ago, and it will confine Mr.

58:32

Trump to New York City for as many

58:34

as four days a week for about eight

58:37

weeks and possibly more. That would be

58:39

roughly one quarter of the calendar

58:41

until the November election. That's the

58:44

punishment. Doesn't matter what happens. No,

58:46

yeah. I thought they did this

58:48

Stormy Daniels stuff already. She

58:50

signed a statement saying it didn't happen. How

58:53

did she do that? For money?

58:55

For the money that he paid her?

58:57

How is she the best person to

59:00

do this trial over?

59:03

Maybe he's too old to do it to women now. That's

59:05

why they have to find the old ones. If this was

59:07

the 90s, you could have just waited two days and

59:09

he would have just grabbed a woman's pussy on

59:11

the street. But going on here, Mr.

59:14

Trump has told advisors he wants as much

59:16

media coverage of his court appearances as possible

59:18

and many supporters defending him on television as

59:21

the gravitational center of the campaign ships away

59:23

from battleground states to a courtroom in lower

59:25

Manhattan. He is expected

59:27

to hold events around New York City and

59:29

parts of the boroughs outside Manhattan that are

59:32

more politically hospitable to him on days when

59:34

he is not in court. To translate, that

59:36

just means Staten Island. That's it. You

59:38

can go to Staten Island, hop on the

59:40

ferry after his trial and hold a rally

59:42

in Staten Island because that's going to be the

59:44

best place to get a turnout in New York City for Donald

59:46

Trump. I'm

1:00:00

not seeing pictures of him on a boat. I'm

1:00:02

not even... No, no, no. I'm seeing the

1:00:04

Trump boat phrase. When he was

1:00:06

talking to the Boy Scouts in like 2018,

1:00:08

this is the thing that made Rex Tillerson

1:00:10

resign. Then he

1:00:13

told the Boy Scouts some like, some

1:00:15

like, horny story about being on a tight boat.

1:00:17

Oh, right. Yeah, I remember that.

1:00:19

I found a picture from 1998 of him on a Supergum. Okay,

1:00:23

but is it moored like a

1:00:25

key or an arena, or sorry, marina?

1:00:28

It is. It's really like, okay, okay. So that's, does

1:00:30

that really count as being on a boat unless I don't

1:00:32

think he likes boats? I don't think he's a boat guy.

1:00:35

That still counts as being on a boat. I

1:00:37

suppose so. I mean, I get it. Like it's

1:00:39

still on the water. This is reminding

1:00:41

me, the Trump New York stuff is reminding me

1:00:44

of one of the, like a, now from

1:00:46

like eight years ago, a really funny,

1:00:49

stupid post. It was

1:00:51

after Trump won, and they were posting like

1:00:53

election maps. And I forgot

1:00:55

who did this, but they posted a

1:00:57

map of Brooklyn and they were like,

1:01:00

Oh, look at all these racist

1:01:02

hipsters that secretly support Trump. And

1:01:05

he was showing like all of South

1:01:07

Williams. South Williams. Right. It

1:01:09

was, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not,

1:01:12

not hot. Why do

1:01:14

they have their hair in that stupid

1:01:17

way? They hit hipsters where they're

1:01:19

the curly little things and the tiny hat.

1:01:21

They got strings hanging out of their pants.

1:01:23

Pull it, pull them up. It's

1:01:25

so annoying. Pulling out of those hipster tunnels. Hipsters

1:01:29

were tunneling between the gastro pubs.

1:01:34

It's so annoying how hipster stuff is

1:01:36

always closed on Saturdays. It's

1:01:38

so, I can't, it's weird.

1:01:40

Hipsters make up like 2%

1:01:42

of the population, but they're like a

1:01:45

quarter of all Supreme Court justices and half of all

1:01:47

Federal Reserve chairman. I don't know if you guys know

1:01:49

that thing happened where a hipster cut off the end

1:01:51

of your penis when you were a kid. No,

1:01:55

I didn't. I've

1:01:57

always hated hipsters. this

1:02:00

but in my neighborhood on Friday evenings

1:02:03

the hipsters set off an air raid siren

1:02:05

because there's a damn two for one deal

1:02:07

on PBR in a shot. Can

1:02:09

you believe that? Every every fucking weekend.

1:02:13

One more thing from the Trump uh

1:02:15

the trial it says jury selection

1:02:17

is scheduled to begin on Monday

1:02:19

with questionnaires probing the prospective jurors

1:02:21

opinions of Mr. Trump including

1:02:23

what podcasts they listen to and what news outlets they

1:02:25

consume as he sits in the courtroom watching and I

1:02:28

gotta say I don't think this should be allowed I

1:02:30

don't think you should be able to query

1:02:33

people's podcast listening habits to

1:02:35

get on a jury because like hey if

1:02:37

you're if you're I've been impaneled for a jury

1:02:39

once and this was years before podcasts even exist

1:02:42

if you show any indication that you have

1:02:44

a point of view about anything they will strike

1:02:46

you from the jury pool and listening

1:02:48

to podcasts of any kind marks

1:02:50

you as someone who has an opinion about something so

1:02:53

therefore you can never be allowed to serve on a

1:02:55

jury. What if you what if you

1:02:57

listen to a podcast it's like the Lex

1:02:59

Friedman podcast though I would say

1:03:01

that actually that actually shows the opposite. I think

1:03:03

you should be struck from the jury because you

1:03:06

would be under stimulated your

1:03:08

intellect would be you would probably get

1:03:10

bored and under challenged in a class like that.

1:03:14

Wait wait if you listen to the Lex Friedman podcast

1:03:16

you'd be the you'd be perfect for a jury because

1:03:18

what is a jury other than sitting in a room

1:03:20

and listening to boring shit for hours on end so

1:03:22

you've been well acclimated to that if listening

1:03:24

to his four hour interviews of people who

1:03:26

Rogan didn't want to book. Yeah no I

1:03:28

think I think it would mark you as

1:03:30

like the most impartial person. I

1:03:33

think it should mark you as a felon and I think you

1:03:35

should be taken out of the jury pool and put into the

1:03:37

the you know just on a bus to Rikers for listening to

1:03:39

that bullshit but uh yeah

1:03:41

God imagine being impaneled for that

1:03:43

jury. Imagine having to serve on

1:03:46

that jury. What a fucking nightmare. Oh

1:03:49

my god. It's not even a crime. It's not even a

1:03:51

cool crime like OJ or some

1:03:54

bullshit like that or Charles Manson.

1:03:57

It's just some guy like he had sex with a porn

1:03:59

star in two. 2003 and then said it

1:04:01

didn't happen and she said it happened and then she said

1:04:03

it didn't happen He said it happened and then

1:04:05

he said it didn't happen and he owes her

1:04:07

money Yeah Fun

1:04:10

I would space out for like months at

1:04:12

a time during that trial and come to

1:04:14

and be like wait Are we still did

1:04:16

this still the Stormy Daniels thing? It's

1:04:19

so it sucks like the

1:04:22

only kind of funny thing about

1:04:24

it was When

1:04:26

he stole from Michael Cone when

1:04:28

like Michael he like gave Michael Cone He told

1:04:31

Michael Cone to pay her off and then didn't

1:04:33

pay him back. That was funny Like

1:04:36

like everything else. It's just like okay.

1:04:38

Let it go Who

1:04:40

were Trump's current attorneys because like his

1:04:42

track record with attorneys is so funny

1:04:45

I just I would love

1:04:47

to I would love to like a sort of a peek

1:04:49

inside the mind of his defense team Because they're

1:04:51

like, oh boy, I can't wait for the big

1:04:53

payoff from this. It's like good luck As well

1:04:55

is Rudy there? Hopefully

1:04:58

he'll be he'll be called as a witness Maybe

1:05:00

he's just sitting in the courtroom because he has nothing else to

1:05:02

do. He's just drunk in a courtroom at 7 a.m He's

1:05:05

like I got nothing else to do. That's how

1:05:07

you get picked to be a lawyer Lawyer

1:05:13

selection first

1:05:15

thing in the morning Clean

1:05:21

the streets Yeah, that's

1:05:23

about that's about it for me. I don't have any

1:05:25

more any more stories for today. Should

1:05:28

we end it there? Yeah, okay.

1:05:30

All right Just

1:05:32

a reminder that May 4th movie

1:05:34

mindset will be having a screening

1:05:36

of death wish 3 at Littlefield

1:05:38

tickets still available Oh and

1:05:41

this upcoming Saturday I'll be moderating a panel

1:05:43

with John Early and Theta Hamill about their

1:05:45

new film stress positions at the

1:05:47

IFC Center on Sunday evening So if you're in New York

1:05:49

City, you can come check that out Yeah,

1:05:52

that does it for me. Do we have any other plugs?

1:05:55

We are good for now. Subscribe to

1:05:57

fortune kit and tropical FYM. That's right

1:05:59

Alright gang, that does it for us

1:06:01

for Monday. Cheers, we'll talk

1:06:04

to you soon. Bye bye.