Original Transcript:

Dear O,

This episode is brought to you by Kolabtree; That's K-O-L-A-B-T-R-E-E. Kolabtree.

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When I was working at Ghirardelli, I was telling fungal puns to everyone in the R&D lab. This would be a weekly or monthly thing. One day, the R&D lab had a potluck and one of the chocolate technologists, one of my supervisors, brought mushroom wraps. I commented about the wraps, and she challenges me to come up with a mushroom rap. That was 2015. I still have yet to create a rap. So, wish me luck as I attempt my first random mushroom rap:

A mushroom rap, not a wrap you eat, but a rap layin' down a beat.
Not a beet from underground, but a beat like the sound.
How you lichen 'em now?

You hear "knock, knock" on the door.
You ask who's there as you're on the floor.
You hear "Mush" as someone would say.
You ask "Mush who?, but someone mush-room away.
How you lichen 'em now?

The fungi and the fungal
Lichened each other more than pals
That the fungi proposed with a fairy ring
But only wood ear would hear them sing.
How you lichen 'em now?

Don't mess with shrooms.
'Cause if you assume to consume,
We will presume your doom,
And put you in that quiet room.
In trouble with blewit.
Well, shit-take.
Gonna call their mother, ma-tsutake.
It's mai-take on this boletale.
Let me finish to the morel while you drink some ale.
Don't truffle with them.
Especially, when you say stem.
'Cause they'll stalk you.
Pointin' their revolvas too.
Open oak doors with enoki.
Greetings by hyphae.
Sayin' amatoxin.
Fin.

How you lichen 'emnow?

Peace,
Brian Chau

P.S. Chau Time is produced and edited by Brian Chau. Logo design was done by Charis Poon. Music was produced by Jadey Gonzalez. If you liked bits and pieces of this podcast and would like to support Chau Time, please visit my Patreon page. You may follow me on Instragram @this_is_chau_time. Feel free to tweet @ChauTimesfor your thoughts and inputs. Check out the rest of my website http://chau-time.com/ for more information. You may listen to Chau Time every week wherever you get your podcasts. Don't forget to subscribe and or write a review. Thank you.