0:19

Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've

0:21

reached the voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's.

0:23

I'm here to give you advice on anything and

0:25

everything you need help with. Maybe you're going

0:27

through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with your family,

0:30

or maybe you need help figuring out how to balance

0:32

your check book or how to start a business,

0:34

whatever the cases, I want to hear from

0:37

you. Remember these are my thoughts and

0:39

opinions, and if you're suffering from an issue

0:41

or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified

0:43

professional. All right, Now, go ahead

0:45

and leave your question. At the sound of the beat.

0:49

Man, we want in Californiando

0:55

and Mamal

0:58

Cantaxican,

1:04

Bye.

1:04

I love you, Naria

1:08

Quelinda Saloxicnkan

1:12

tam Canta is the the

1:17

Caja uadro

1:34

jota Zo Stepan is

1:37

okaynos I was just basically

1:39

telling NaIO you guys, she's from Mexicali,

1:41

from Baja California, and she was just

1:43

saying that my mom loved it out there, that when am I

1:45

going to do a concert, When am I going to have a concert, And my

1:47

mom loved to also eat Chinese food out there,

1:49

so I was just telling her that I love MEXICALI

1:52

and I haven't been in a while, and I haven't had a concert out

1:54

there, but I'm hoping that I will soon so that

1:56

her and I can be friends. She also wants to be my friend, so I

1:58

said, yes, we can be friends and have some Chinese

2:00

food together. So that was her question.

2:03

Nad okay

2:09

out almost with Gabby a

2:11

little English. There you go, Gabby, let's hear from you.

2:14

Him, my love, I have a question for you.

2:17

How do you stay motivated to not give up

2:19

on the things that you're doing. I am a full

2:21

time student, I work full time. I

2:24

am living the Senora life right now,

2:27

and I feel like I

2:29

don't have time for anything. I want to come

2:31

home. I want to come home and lay down in bed, watch

2:34

TV, take a nap, but I don't have time

2:36

for any of that. Like I have to wake

2:38

up, go to work, come home,

2:41

feed my man, clean up a little bit,

2:43

try to do homework. And it's

2:46

just it's so much that I'm just about

2:48

ready to give up, and I don't want to because

2:50

I am almost done. I've been in school

2:53

for about five years. I'm just

2:55

starting to stress out about money.

2:57

And it's just a lot.

2:59

I'm just tired and

3:02

stressing out about what the future is

3:05

because I don't know what it is. So

3:08

any advice would be greatly

3:11

appreciated. Love you well,

3:13

Gabby.

3:14

I get it. I completely

3:17

understand. I have those days when I feel

3:19

overwhelmed. Today's one of them.

3:22

So I get it. I understand

3:25

completely. And you have a lot on your plate.

3:27

You have a lot, you have your

3:29

man, you know the whole Signora life. You're

3:32

working full time, you're going to school. I honestly

3:35

round applause for you, grow

3:37

because that's a lot, So you should be proud of yourself.

3:39

First of all. I think the most

3:41

important thing, and I'm talking to both of us

3:44

right now, is knowing

3:47

that we have a plan. Life

3:49

without a plan is no life.

3:51

So I think it's creating a plan and knowing

3:55

what my future goal is, my

3:57

long term goal. Right now it's

4:00

yes, it's a lot, but it's temporary.

4:03

You're going to school. Then you're gonna be done with school

4:05

and you're gonna have some time to breathe. But right now you're

4:07

sacrificing a lot of things

4:10

in order to obtain

4:13

what's coming. And that's always frustrating,

4:15

and I get that, but I think also

4:18

if you really put everything to I mean, I'm assuming you

4:20

have the weekends, maybe a Sunday off, I hope,

4:23

where you could just look forward to that and say, Okay, I'm

4:25

gonna work my ass off until Sunday, and on

4:27

Sunday, I'm not doing anything that has to do with

4:29

work with school. My man is

4:32

going to cater to me. Talk to your man and have him

4:34

cook for you. It's a balance, It's okay,

4:36

or you guys just order in like you do need

4:38

that time and you need to find that one

4:41

day or those few hours where

4:43

you could just breathe and just be

4:45

gabby. But keep your

4:47

eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel,

4:49

because it's there. You just have to know, Okay,

4:52

this is temporary, this is just right now because

4:54

I'm working towards my future,

4:57

because I want a better future for myself from my man,

5:00

you know what I mean. Like it's reminding yourself,

5:02

reminding ourselves that we

5:05

have a goal and that we're on a mission

5:07

here on earth, and that God has us here for a reason.

5:10

And once you just realize that, you could just shake it off and

5:12

just say you know why. It's okay. I'm grateful. I

5:14

am grateful that I have a job. I am grateful that I get to go

5:16

to school. I'm grateful that I have a man that loves

5:18

me. It's just turning all that negativity

5:21

that we're feeling into something positive. When you step

5:23

back and say, wow, I have something to look forward

5:25

to. I'm grateful.

5:27

You know.

5:27

It sounds like super simple, but I

5:29

mean it takes practice. So that's

5:32

what I recommend and suggest because I feel you. I

5:34

get it, and you do have a lot going on, but you should

5:36

be very proud of yourself. That's amazing. You're

5:38

doing something with your life. You're not just sitting there. Imagine

5:40

just sitting there having nothing to do. Girl, You're

5:42

doing the damn thing, So be proud of yourself. Our

5:52

next question comes from medium.

5:55

Hi chikiuz I have a question to

5:57

ask. I have been going through

6:00

time with my mom because unfortunately

6:03

my mom thinks that I slept with her

6:05

boyfriend, her ex boyfriend, and

6:07

it's been really hard for me because every

6:10

relationship I get into, she lets

6:14

my new partner know what happened

6:16

when it's not true. You know, obviously

6:18

I didn't do it. She's managed

6:21

herself to actually ruin

6:24

my relationships because she

6:27

always lets them know bad things about

6:29

me instead of getting the support from

6:32

her, you know, because she's my mother, she's

6:34

just pushing me away. And to be

6:36

honest with you, I don't even know how to what to

6:38

do. If you could please give me an

6:40

advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank

6:43

you. Have a blast night.

6:45

Oh my goodness, medium ooh,

6:48

I know, I get you, m

6:51

It's tough, sounds a little

6:53

toxic, to be honest, and

6:56

this is just my opinion, but I

6:59

feel that your mom

7:01

is just very unhappy with herself.

7:04

Again, just my opinion and no offense, because

7:06

that's your mom, and I get it. You know. We can say whatever we

7:08

want about our moms, but anyone else says something, it's like, hold

7:10

up. So I understand that I

7:12

don't want to judge your mother at all. I

7:15

don't think it's healthy though. It's not healthy at

7:17

all that you're feeling like this and that she's

7:19

doing that. It's not healthy for her, it's not healthy for you.

7:22

The fact that she's feeling all of these things like she needs

7:24

to heal that. I don't know if she's upset

7:26

because her ex boyfriend that she says

7:28

that you slept with left her. I don't

7:31

know. I wish I knew a little bit more. But I

7:34

always tell you guys this because

7:36

yes, we have to respect and honor our parents, absolutely,

7:38

one hundred percent. But if you find

7:41

that your mother is doing more harm in your

7:43

life than good, then I feel like it's

7:45

okay for you to step back a little bit. I

7:48

think that when someone loses

7:51

something, that's when they

7:53

appreciate it a little bit more. And maybe you

7:55

stepping back will also make

7:57

your mom realize, like, whoa, maybe my actions

8:00

and what have been doing isn't correct. I

8:02

don't know if you've already explained this to

8:04

her and expressed your feelings to her, but I think that's important.

8:06

I think you absolutely should. I always

8:09

say write a letter because sometimes when you're

8:11

having a conversation, you

8:13

forget things or the other person speaks

8:15

and you can't express yourself completely. So writing

8:17

a letter and stating like, these are my feelings and I'm going to

8:20

step back a little bit.

8:20

Mom.

8:20

I love you, but this is causing me a

8:23

lot of harm and the fact that you think this about me breaks

8:25

my heart. So we need to either go

8:27

to therapy together, or you need to go to therapy. I

8:30

do too, but like, this isn't healthy for me. And

8:32

if you don't feel like bringing your new boyfriend

8:34

around your mom, that's okay too. You shouldn't

8:37

at this point. I wouldn't. I'd be like, h hold

8:39

up, I'm not trying to like go through another relationship

8:41

and my mom ruining it for me. Like, it's okay for you not

8:44

to bring these guys around to her

8:46

until you guys heal this. But this is something

8:48

that she also has to be aware of and also has

8:51

to be willing to heal, because this

8:53

is no way to live for her or for yourself. So

8:56

I think that you should write her letter and express it and just

8:58

say, Mom, I love you, I'm here for you, but

9:00

I think I need to step back a little bit, And that's

9:03

okay. That's creating a healthy boundary,

9:05

always keeping in mind you have to honor and respect

9:07

her absolutely, but you also

9:10

have the right to express your feelings and you

9:12

also have the right to live your life the

9:14

way that you like. And if that

9:17

means stepping away for a little bit, that

9:19

is okay, sometimes

9:22

even necessary, babes. So I'm

9:24

really hoping things get better for you and your mom. I really

9:26

really hope. So because that is heavy.

9:28

That's some heavy shit, trust I know,

9:31

and it sucks, especially when it's not true.

9:33

It's like, oh, so I feel you, Miriam,

9:36

I feel you. I'm sending you a big ass hug, girl, big

9:38

hug. Okay,

9:42

guys, So, our next question comes from Andrea

9:45

hi ji Ki's.

9:46

I just wanted to say that you inspire

9:50

me every day to be the best version of

9:52

myself. I have a lot in common with you.

9:54

I too, am the oldest of my

9:56

family. I have three younger

9:59

sisters and one brother, and I wanted

10:01

to ask you what kind of advice

10:03

you can give me to speak

10:05

to my little sister who isn't

10:07

living her best life. Is

10:10

it financially stable and she

10:13

doesn't want to work or have the

10:15

same work ethic as the rest of

10:17

us. We were all raised to be hard working

10:20

individuals. I'm so not sure

10:22

how to talk to her to motivate

10:24

her without her getting defensive. So

10:27

anything you can give me I'd love to hear. I

10:30

love you and you are

10:33

one of my favorite artists. I love

10:35

your mom and your entire family, and I just wish

10:37

you the best in your new engagement.

10:41

Bye.

10:42

Thank you, Andrea, thank you for wishing me the best

10:45

and for listening to my podcast. And

10:48

I love you too. I love you too. And

10:50

you know, I don't know if you guys know most

10:52

of you should, I hope. But I raise

10:54

my siblings and Johnny the

10:57

youngest, I'm the oldest, and he's the youngest, still

10:59

lives with me. He's going to be twenty three, So

11:01

I totally get it. There was a time there

11:03

where I was a little worried. I was like, oh my gosh,

11:05

what am I going to do? Like it was exactly

11:08

the same thing. The older ones have more

11:10

responsibility, like we had no other choice

11:12

but to figure out how we're going to make money, and then the younger ones,

11:14

it just it's different. It took me a

11:17

while to understand that, and it took me a while

11:19

to figure out how to speak to him and to

11:21

just I pushed him.

11:23

I was like, well, you, if you're going to live in this house, I've

11:26

seen that's the thing. Your sister doesn't live with you, so it's a little

11:28

different. But for me, it was like, if you're going to live in this house

11:30

and you want to be a singer. Well, I need you to

11:33

work out every day, I need you to eat

11:35

better, I need you to go to a school like

11:37

I was very like that. You know, obviously,

11:40

I'm sure your sister doesn't live with you, so it's a little different.

11:42

But it's hard because everyone

11:44

does things at their own pace, and

11:47

things were different for us. Things

11:50

were very different, especially for the older ones. It's

11:52

just our parents are always harder on us, like,

11:55

way more strict, and we're living in a different

11:57

time where I'm sorry,

11:59

but I see a lot of laziness happening,

12:02

Like a lot of people don't necessarily want

12:05

to work or feel the need or I

12:07

don't know, it's just some stuff that I'm like, oh shit,

12:10

like it's worrisome. So I get that. I

12:12

think more than anything, you have to be okay

12:15

with letting her be defensive.

12:17

She's gonna be pissed, she's gonna get mad if she's not

12:19

gonna accept it, and you have to be okay with that. Hopefully

12:21

she's receptive. But there's that chance where you're

12:23

saying I'm afraid of her being

12:26

defensive, Well f that, who cares

12:28

as long as you're telling her respectfully,

12:31

not being disrespectful, but telling her. Look, look,

12:33

you need to get your shit together, babe, Like you

12:35

need to go to school. You need to get a job. I don't know,

12:38

go work at Starbucks wherever. But

12:40

you need to have some type of income. You need to have some type

12:42

of responsibility. And it's better

12:44

for you to tell her and leave that little seed.

12:46

Plant that little seed. So when she's alone,

12:49

even though she'll get pissed, but when she's alone,

12:51

she's gonna hear it. At least she's gonna know. Damn, my

12:54

sister told me. So, don't worry about

12:56

her getting upset. Let her

12:58

get mad, as long as you know you're doing

13:00

the right thing. So I

13:02

don't know, I don't know if she does she have responsibilities. Does she pay

13:05

rent? Maybe it's time for her to pay a little bit of rent. I don't

13:07

know, things like that, pay your own phone bill,

13:09

your own car, or your own insurance. I give her some type

13:11

of responsibility where she has no other choice but

13:13

to say I need to figure out how I'm gonna make

13:16

money. But don't be scared to tell her the truth.

13:18

Let her get mad. You're gonna feel

13:20

good being honest versus just

13:22

saying oh, mickay, yeah, and I didn't say anything because

13:24

I didn't want her to get upset and then you feel

13:27

worse later. Say the truth

13:29

straight up. Boom here it is. But

13:32

there has to be some type of responsibility

13:34

in my opinion, I don't know. I wish I had a little bit more

13:36

information, but that is my advice.

13:39

With that being said, thank you to Nadia, Gabby,

13:42

Miriam and Andrea for contributing

13:44

to this week's episode of Dear

13:46

Cheeky's. I love listening to

13:48

your questions every week and I truly do my best

13:50

to give you my very best advice. I

13:53

feel like we're building a little community of support

13:55

here and that's all things to you, guys, so

13:57

thank you so so much. We'll be

13:59

back next week with a new episode

14:01

and a new batch of questions, so stay tuned

14:03

for that, and if you want to leave your questions

14:06

for me, head over to speakpipe dot

14:08

com slash Cheekys and Chill podcast.

14:10

That is Speakpipe dot Com slash

14:13

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14:17

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14:26

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