0:00

I repeat this a million times in my life.

0:02

People don't change. We are who

0:05

we are.

0:05

You can't change them.

0:06

No, and we can't change ourselves either. We

0:09

are already said in those ways. But we

0:11

can truly compromise. Yeah,

0:13

if you get to a point in your relationship

0:16

where you have to start thinking about how

0:18

to spice it up, you've already

0:20

screwed up.

0:21

Oh Jane, Okay, sure, I

0:24

just kidding.

0:35

Hello.

0:36

Welcome to a special love

0:38

edition of Cheeky's and Chill You guys.

0:41

I am excited because today's guest she

0:43

has a lot of experience, a

0:45

beautiful personality, and I can't

0:48

wait for you guys to meet her. Her name

0:50

is Leliana Mategro. She is an

0:52

actress. She's a comedian and the co

0:54

host of a podcast name Date

0:57

My. I will lead that first on Michael

0:59

Tura. So welcome here. Thank

1:02

you so much, so much for being here.

1:05

It is an honor. It is such a privilege

1:07

to be here with you and talking about

1:09

love, specially my favorite

1:12

subject in the world.

1:13

I know I have a lot of questions, by the way, so I

1:15

hope you don't mind.

1:16

Oh my goodness, I

1:18

am.

1:18

A hopeless I guess a hopeless

1:20

romantic and away. I love to love and

1:23

to be loved. So I thought, you know what,

1:25

what better than to have a

1:27

conversation with a woman who

1:30

has been married five times. We'll get into that right now, you

1:32

guys, which I to me is very intriguing.

1:34

Not at the same time, let's clarify that.

1:36

Let's clarify that. But

1:39

and it's it's the week of Valentine's Day, so

1:41

I said this, let's talk about everything that

1:43

has to do with love. So,

1:46

so thank you, thank you for taking

1:48

the time to be here with me. It's my brand new

1:50

said. I'm still getting used to it. I've

1:53

done audio for so long. Thank you so

1:55

much. I wanted you to be warm.

1:57

Yes, okay, so do you feel like it's hugging you?

1:59

It is very much hugging me.

2:00

Okay, first

2:03

of.

2:03

All, in

2:06

which I know are very almost

2:08

sixty eight years of desserth

2:11

what in March sixty.

2:12

I'm not even joking. I did not think you.

2:15

I'm approaching this seventy with a

2:17

lot of hope.

2:18

Yeah, you look you look great, and you

2:20

have a beautiful energy.

2:22

It's my first time meeting her, you guys, But

2:25

to me, it's like I feel your energy and you're very like

2:27

you're just a big, beautiful personality. I

2:29

love it. I love it, and so

2:31

Okay, first of all, I'd like to ask you the

2:33

podcast date Malita.

2:36

First, why why the name the title? I just

2:38

I want to know.

2:39

Well, the title came I Love It from the

2:41

creators, Okay, Leo clam

2:45

They put the name together, and it

2:47

was their job to find the

2:49

Awlita they wanted for this particular

2:52

show. You know, I never

2:54

thought in my entire life,

2:56

as crazy as I have been, as

2:58

much as people call me the firecracker,

3:01

as much as people like you tell me you have

3:03

a great energy, I've

3:05

always believed that you have to stay young,

3:07

no matter how old. Absolutely, we

3:10

never change who we are. When we become

3:12

this beautiful person as a child, and

3:15

then a teenager and then an adult, we're

3:17

already set on who we are.

3:20

Me. I love love, just like

3:23

you just mentioned to me before. I

3:25

love to love. I love being loved.

3:28

And that comes not only with your

3:30

children, with your friends, with

3:32

your co workers, and with those

3:35

that you choose as your life partners. It's

3:37

not an easy thing.

3:38

It's not it's a big risk, but

3:42

it's something that you get addicted to in a

3:44

way, It's like, that's what I always say.

3:46

Love is the moving forward of the universe,

3:48

and sinamore Without love, how

3:51

do we even exist. It's like, even for me,

3:53

it's like you're busy, you have so many things to do, but

3:55

then at the end of the day, you want to

3:58

be hugged, even if it isn't by a partners,

4:00

by maybe a friend with benefits,

4:03

a sibling, I don't know, just hug me. I just need to be held

4:05

love. It doesn't have to just be a significant other. It's

4:07

just love is such a beautiful thing. It's

4:09

a scary thing. It's a risk, but

4:12

I love to feel it and I love challenging.

4:14

Yes, it is challenging, very challenging.

4:16

But you know, when we are little, we're already

4:18

set and who loves us,

4:21

and that love stays within us.

4:23

Like for me, my biggest

4:26

love ever was Mayawulita

4:30

was both may Aulita, as though I was closer

4:32

to my mother's mother, I

4:35

have never in my life met a

4:37

more gentle, kinder soul

4:40

than that woman was to me, where

4:43

she would rush in the mornings

4:45

to the fresh bakery to get

4:48

me that sweet bread that I could take to

4:50

school, and I could see her running

4:52

from the bakery to where I was taking the bus,

4:55

with her little belly, just bouncing down

4:57

the street and going literally, Lily

5:00

your bread. That to me was

5:03

love, Yes, caring for

5:05

others, giving of yourself.

5:08

Absolutely, But we don't work hard enough

5:10

at it anymore. Times

5:12

have changed so much that we have

5:14

kind of forgotten what love is all about.

5:18

And it's the only in my mind and in

5:20

my heart. It's like you just said, it's

5:22

the only thing that moves the world, and

5:25

it's the one thing that we are letting go off.

5:27

Oh my gosh, yes, and we have to.

5:29

Bring it back. And that's why date

5:31

may Awlita first wife, because

5:34

a wilitas know what it's

5:36

about. Some of us

5:38

like I am Annawalita, I

5:40

am an Awelita. I have two grandsons,

5:43

and I am so happy that they're boys

5:45

because I can teach them.

5:47

This is the way you do it, my boys,

5:49

this is the way you treat a woman. As

5:52

Conquistas tell us a little

5:54

bit about like the you know, just

5:56

the concept of date Malita.

5:58

Absolutely. For those of you who will be

6:00

joining us brand new on

6:03

season two, I'm goa dated oh, thank

6:05

you. Date may Awilita first. Now you're

6:07

not dating me, no, no, no, though

6:10

I would love the possibilities. But

6:14

what it is is we have one

6:16

main data and three possible

6:19

contestants and the

6:21

three of them have to go through

6:23

games and questions with a Wilita

6:26

and my beautiful co host, Vihico

6:29

Ortiz, and we ask

6:32

all these questions and they

6:34

have to go through me, meaning I

6:37

have to like them, I have to accept

6:39

what they're saying. I have to

6:41

really really get to the bottom

6:43

of it all because you know, as a Wlita as

6:45

we know it all.

6:47

Yes, oh my god, I love that.

6:48

And at the very end, the main

6:51

data ends with one of the contestants.

6:53

Oh my goodness. Okay, So that's why I wanted to know.

6:55

I was like, okay, date my Wilita first, because

6:58

you think like you said, and I would, and

7:00

it brings warmth, it brings just

7:03

something to your heart. And

7:06

when you say that right now, it made me. It made

7:08

me like, I'm like, wow, Unfortunately

7:11

I don't have that right now, you know, but it's.

7:14

Thank you day.

7:18

You can call me anytime or not. You

7:20

know what, I've been reading a lot

7:22

lately, you know how on social media. They

7:24

put these little sayings and they

7:26

put older people nowadays, which

7:29

they tell everyone. You know, Oh, I

7:31

don't care what people say anymore. I

7:34

just want to love everybody. I'm going to

7:36

be as open as I can. But

7:39

there's one thing that keeps being repeated,

7:41

and that is the fact that don't come to

7:43

me the day that I die and

7:45

tell me how much you loved me. Tell

7:48

me now while I'm still alive. You

7:50

know, when I and all these

7:53

five marriages that we have mentioned,

7:56

was I in love every time? I know it's a question

7:59

because when people find out that I've

8:01

been married five times, the first

8:03

thing that comes to their faces

8:06

is laughter, and

8:08

I go, that's pretty cool, that it's pretty

8:10

cool that my life can make you smile. But

8:13

it wasn't that easy for me, because

8:16

every time I

8:19

was in love, every time

8:21

I wanted it to be the last.

8:23

One gave it.

8:25

Every time I wanted to

8:27

be loved like never before.

8:30

Yeah, and every time I failed. Every

8:33

time we failed, we

8:35

failed to communicate, we failed

8:37

to share, we

8:40

failed to remember that

8:43

we can get to this sixty seven,

8:45

approaching your seventies really quick.

8:48

And if you don't hold on to that love you're

8:51

going to be alone, and

8:54

I am alone. I

8:56

am alone every single day of my life.

8:59

Because the family has moved on. Many

9:02

of my love to ones have passed away. My

9:05

child and my grandkids are in another

9:07

state. So who do

9:09

I love? I love Cheeky

9:12

when she welcomes me into her studio.

9:15

I love Leo when he takes me to lunch.

9:18

I love everyone that I meet along

9:20

the way because that's what my heart

9:22

tells me to do.

9:23

You're so beautiful. I can't hold on, Guys,

9:27

I'm sorry.

9:28

I know it's love

9:31

is very spiritual, that is

9:33

very much a conscious

9:37

choice. Yes, and

9:39

we have to be kind.

9:40

It's a choice. Yeah. And when you say that,

9:43

the world people have even

9:46

sometimes stop loving. I feel like

9:49

where is I go to different states

9:52

and obviously we live

9:54

here in California, but sometimes I feel like it's

9:56

just the hustle and bustle,

9:58

and it's you go to another state and they

10:00

open the door and they say good morning. I'm like, this

10:02

is so like, that's that's loving, that's

10:05

thank you, thank you for opening There other times when I

10:07

open the door for someone and they won't even

10:09

say thank you, and I'm just like, okay, cool, you're

10:11

welcome.

10:11

You know.

10:12

It's like it's like little things like that that show

10:14

love, that show compassion, that show and I

10:16

know I feel like, no, we have to and I'm

10:18

glad we're having this conversation. And I'm glad you guys

10:20

have date Maiwalita first

10:22

because we have to have this conversation so people

10:24

don't forget the importance of love and how we need

10:27

to be love based. And I always tell myself because

10:29

for a long time I was afraid of loving. I

10:31

was afraid of falling in love. So

10:34

I had to And this is a

10:36

mantra of mine or an affirmation every morning where

10:38

I tell myself it

10:40

is safe for me to love and to be loved every

10:42

day because I have gotten hurt

10:45

by people, even by my own parents,

10:48

even by just it just happens, you know what I

10:50

mean, And you feel I had for a long

10:52

time the fear of

10:54

abandonment and I had to heal that and

10:56

it was because I love so hard. But because

10:58

I love so hard, I also hurt

11:00

very hard. Because it's like I told it, told them, I'm giving you everything.

11:03

And this is how come on with padas in

11:05

a way,

11:09

if you don't mind me asking how when was the first time?

11:12

How old were you when you when you first got married?

11:14

My very first time, I got married at nineteen.

11:17

I got pregnant at eighteen. I

11:22

always said I came from a very

11:24

abusive upbringing

11:29

when it comes to my mother. But

11:32

there was one word that I wanted to mention

11:35

to you when you were just saying all of this. It's

11:38

a matter and I've said it before, loving

11:42

is a matter of forgiving. We

11:45

have to forgive ourselves. We have

11:47

to forgive our parents. Like

11:50

my mom might have done

11:53

a lot of no nos, but she

11:55

was so young. She was seventeen when

11:57

she had me, and

11:59

she didn't know any better.

12:01

It came from an abusive family all

12:03

on her own.

12:04

She was the last child of nine and

12:06

by that time my grandfather,

12:09

who was the chief of police, was

12:11

just so radical in his ways, and

12:14

my grandmother, who was the kindest,

12:16

sweetest, but there

12:18

was abuse there too. It came from generations.

12:21

Is that cultural baggage that we just

12:24

can't get rid of? But yes we

12:26

can, and yes we should because

12:29

it's not taking us anywhere as

12:31

Latinos. We need to get rid of all

12:33

of that.

12:33

Yep, we gotta stop in it,

12:37

but I agree. I agreed breaking generational

12:40

curses guys.

12:40

Absolutely, and we have to love.

12:44

It's it's it's crazy to

12:47

think how far

12:49

we have come in life and society,

12:52

but really, as Latinos,

12:54

we haven't. Yeah, we have forgotten

12:57

that we were. We have been loved since

12:59

we were. We have so

13:01

much to offer, so much.

13:04

And I have forgiven my

13:06

mother, I have forgiven my past,

13:09

I have I have even forgiven husband number

13:11

four, who died on my birthday.

13:14

Oh I

13:16

know you loved me. It was your last way

13:18

of telling me. Okay, But

13:23

yeah, you have to forgive and you have to forgiving.

13:26

Is it gives you the wings to fly

13:28

to sore? I have a whole book on it because

13:31

I had to learn to forgive and really

13:33

forgive, not just say it, you know what

13:36

it's like, really meaning it and really just letting go

13:38

of that baggage and resentment makes

13:40

you sick. It's like, it's not it's not healthy for you,

13:42

it's not healthy for the other person. So

13:44

it's like it's a gift. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves,

13:47

which is also a part of loving. And

13:49

do you still believe in love? Do you feel like if

13:51

you know, is there another husband out there for you?

13:54

I mean I feel that.

13:55

I mean I am always

13:57

looking for non say, it's

14:01

a great number let

14:03

me tell you. Okay, so number

14:07

one, since you come from an

14:09

abusive home, all you want to do is

14:11

run away from it. And I

14:13

think that the first time that I married,

14:15

that's exactly what I was looking for. However,

14:18

I was blessed with a child

14:21

and having my beautiful Dela Gabriella.

14:26

Ah, what a

14:28

gift, What a gift having

14:30

her? Not

14:33

only was it a gift from her, but it's something

14:35

that I don't talk much or I haven't

14:37

mentioned much on season one of

14:40

Dey Maya Wilita, But

14:43

I am going to bring him into

14:46

the stage light, and that is God,

14:50

because walking in faith and

14:52

living in that faith is the hardest

14:55

thing to do, especially

14:57

when you are hurt, when you're so young,

14:59

when you don't know, especially when the years

15:01

go by. So when I had

15:03

Delba, a couple of years later, I

15:06

had my first bout with cancer and

15:08

at that point I couldn't

15:10

have any more children. So

15:13

that was my most beautiful gift ever,

15:17

was to have her. Of

15:20

course, husband number one left me because

15:22

he wanted more kids.

15:24

Oh so that okay, Well, you know what,

15:27

he came and served his purpose to

15:29

give you your baby girl. Yeah,

15:31

because people ask me that all the time. This

15:33

was very hard for me to get married. First I've

15:36

been married and divorced, and then when we

15:38

had we got separated out to versall. It was

15:40

so difficult. I was just because I wanted to make it

15:42

work. I was I had I grew

15:44

up in a household where you

15:46

know, marriage didn't work, and that's

15:49

you know, I don't judge my mother, and if

15:51

anything, I've learned so much from it. But I really I

15:53

was like, yo, I want to make it work, and I'm gonna try,

15:55

and I'm gonna try and I let go or should

15:57

I say I ignored a lot of red flags.

16:00

But it broke my heart so

16:02

bad to get divorced because I wanted

16:04

it to work, and I was like, I don't want to

16:08

fall in the same steps. But it's like, in

16:10

a way back then, now I learned my lesson,

16:13

but I was in a way being judgmental

16:15

and thinking not knowing how difficult

16:17

really marriage is and thinking, oh, it's easy,

16:19

we can make this work, and in a way not

16:23

blaming my mom because she

16:26

had reasons to leave susparekas

16:28

you know her marriages, but I

16:30

guess I just wanted to ask. I was like,

16:32

I want to make this work, but it

16:35

broke my heart. But now I'm like, you know what I believe

16:37

in marriage. I want to get married. If I get married,

16:39

I've said this before, I think in interviews

16:43

where I'm like, you know what, I'll be like jayl you

16:45

know with that she finds a man and she

16:47

gets married. Hey, whatever, love is love,

16:49

and you get married as many times as you want. So

16:52

I'm with you on that. You know, we're gonna pray

16:54

for a good number six for you, Thank

16:56

you very much.

16:57

The only thing that

16:59

I satrifice throughout all

17:01

these marriages was my

17:03

relationship with my child. That

17:06

was a love that I

17:09

misunderstood for a very long time.

17:13

You never stop having that

17:15

conflict, not only with yourself

17:18

but with your child. I

17:20

mean, had I had a boy, it might have been

17:23

different. But I have a

17:25

daughter. And of

17:27

course we don't want our same choices

17:30

and mistakes to be passed

17:32

on or the way

17:34

that they see us and they judge us,

17:36

especially as you get older and older

17:39

and your child leaves

17:41

you behind. So we

17:44

have to learn to not only forgive

17:47

ourselves, but to love ourselves

17:49

more than we love that guy or

17:52

that idea of marriage. I

17:54

would love to have ass my number

17:56

six. Let me tell you, I would love to

17:59

have a wonder man in my life

18:02

because I thought I loved number one.

18:04

No, he gave me a beautiful gift. I

18:07

thought I loved number two. He

18:09

was mean and abusive. I thought

18:11

I loved number three. I

18:14

was a boring situation. I

18:16

thought I loved number four. Again

18:18

he was mean and demeaning. And

18:20

I thought I loved number five, which

18:23

to this day I still do. But

18:26

he was twenty years younger. He

18:29

was my spirit and

18:32

for that reason I still love him.

18:35

But that a man has come into my life

18:37

and said I'm going to treat you like the queen

18:39

that you are, or I'm going to give

18:42

you all my love. No, that hasn't happened.

18:44

So if you are out there and you will

18:47

like to be number.

18:47

Six, make sure you're

18:50

a good man. Though, no, we don't. You know.

18:52

Yeah, you're still breathing.

18:53

You're still breathing, Oh my goodness.

18:56

But with from every person that you've you've been

18:58

with and been married to, you learn something. You grew

19:00

you. And that's what I feel like. I'm like,

19:02

Okay, we learn where they're

19:05

all teachers, they're masters, and it's

19:07

up to us what lesson we learn to make ourselves

19:09

better for the next person or

19:11

for ourselves even you know, but you did. That's

19:13

something that I speak about a lot

19:15

on the podcast is the importance of loving yourself.

19:18

And you can only love people as much as you love

19:20

and respect yourself. And you need to give yourself

19:22

your place. And my mom would always

19:25

say, you know, you have your main meal,

19:27

your main course, and then your

19:30

partner is the dessert. They're there to

19:32

compliment your life. They shouldn't be your

19:34

whole life. It's you respect them,

19:36

they respect you, and it's they're your dessert.

19:38

And I'll never forget out.

19:40

And that is one thing that

19:43

because we don't learn, because

19:46

we come from such a culture

19:48

full of baggage when it comes to the love department,

19:53

we don't learn to

19:55

be kind or

19:58

to give it our best shot, or

20:00

to really open up our hearts, or

20:03

to accept them for who they are. We

20:06

always want to try and change everyone around

20:08

us. Yeah, and that is so silly,

20:12

you know. We need to just

20:15

love everyone. Yeah, no

20:18

matter how we love them, accept

20:20

them for who they are. I repeat this

20:22

a million times in my life. People don't

20:24

change. We are who we are.

20:26

You can't change them.

20:27

No, and we can't change ourselves either.

20:30

We are already said in those ways. But we

20:32

can truly compromise. Yeah, we can

20:34

compromise. We can accept them for who

20:36

they are, and maybe in the communication

20:39

process of creating that new

20:41

relationship, then you

20:43

know have your best friend. And

20:45

that's what I miss about husband number five.

20:48

He was my best friend.

20:49

He was like your soul, like your soul mad he totally

20:52

was he totally. Was it a mutual

20:54

like separation is nice?

20:55

No, that was all me.

20:57

Okay, it was all me, And.

20:59

That is what I'm saying about

21:01

not learning from our own

21:03

I've been alone now for fourteen years.

21:06

Okay, that was my next question.

21:08

Okayeen fourteen years, and those years I've

21:10

had a lot of time to get to know myself.

21:14

But the reason

21:16

that I pushed him away One,

21:19

he was younger. Two,

21:21

I thought he would be a great father. I

21:24

thought he needed to find a younger woman.

21:27

And I just pushed him completely away from my

21:29

life. And is the worst mistake.

21:31

I have ever made.

21:33

I think you're speaking to my soul right now.

21:35

Because my.

21:37

Partner, my fiance, is seven years younger, and

21:39

I've been battling with this and this is something I haven't

21:41

spoken to anyone really out loud

21:44

because he's seven years younger,

21:46

and I wasn't sure for a long time

21:48

if I want to have kids or not, if I can even I don't

21:50

know, you know. And I

21:53

was kind of in a way pushing him away. I'm like, you know

21:55

what, maybe you need a younger girl and

21:57

someone that hasn't been married and hasn't been through all

21:59

this stuff. I'm a workaholic, you

22:01

know. Because you say, hey, I said that before that,

22:04

I felt like, but he's so good to me,

22:06

Matra Tauben and he just says that I'm

22:08

the best thing that's ever happened. And he treats me. It's not just

22:10

he just says it. He treats me very well. And

22:13

I feel like, right now you're speaking to me, It's like, so,

22:16

why are.

22:16

You still it all? Yeah, because

22:19

that's exactly what we do.

22:21

Yeah. I feel like it's more in a way

22:24

of like, you

22:27

know, self destructive.

22:28

I don't know it totally is, but

22:30

in that process of talking about how

22:32

you have forgiven yourself? How have you

22:34

really mm hmm or what are

22:36

you waiting for? Who are you waiting to give

22:39

you?

22:40

Hello?

22:41

Knock knock, chicky or

22:45

knock knock on your heart?

22:47

Yes, seven years younger. So

22:49

what he can bring some bright

22:52

light and some enthusiasm and

22:54

some something new to your relationship

22:56

that you don't know anything about. And

22:58

you think you can let go of that? Do

23:00

you know what a gift that is? Don't

23:03

ever let go of that when you

23:05

just said that he treats you, well, that's

23:08

all you need is

23:10

that love, that constant

23:13

care and companionship, that

23:16

youthfulness, that rightness,

23:18

that light, enjoy

23:21

it and everywhere that comes

23:23

to your mind where you go, oh

23:25

no, you know, or my mom did

23:27

this, or my uncle or

23:30

Gino Leskina, whoever it is. We

23:32

don't care about that. We care what is happening

23:34

and what Chiky is feeling right now

23:36

from this moment on. And

23:39

you love him for who he is, and

23:42

you give him those children if

23:44

you want them, that is your choice.

23:47

But I tell you, I'm just very

23:50

happy I have one little girl

23:52

that can stay in this world.

23:55

I know that the new generations are

23:59

kind of staying away from being parents,

24:02

you know, and that's how

24:04

our world is changing.

24:06

Yes, yeah, I mean my OBGYN

24:08

told me the other day, she said, you know, something that

24:11

stuck to me. I think for a long time

24:13

I was afraid of having a

24:15

baby because of the beautiful

24:18

and also I

24:20

don't know what the word is, but with my mom and we were so

24:23

close in age, we were like sisters. We had a

24:25

very very difficult relationship

24:27

but a very beautiful one at the same time. And I always

24:29

thought, like, I don't know, if you know, I've already

24:31

raised my siblings, like I want to kind of do my own

24:33

thing. And I made up all these excuses,

24:36

you know, And it was out of

24:38

fear I think of just I don't know, maybe

24:40

repeating the same pattern. But I'm like, it's up to me. Maybe

24:43

that's what I have to do, is have a child to heal

24:45

that relationship, you know.

24:48

But she told me once, you

24:50

want to have a child to heal which relationship.

24:53

With my mom? Because I thought, if I have a girl,

24:55

if I because I always wanted a boy for the same reason.

24:58

Still now you feel that way, No, now

25:00

I don't.

25:01

Now.

25:01

Now I'm like, okay, look at Rioskira, whatever

25:03

God wants. If I do have a girl, then maybe

25:05

through that relationship with my daughter, I can

25:07

heal my relationship with my mom. And if it's

25:09

a boy, then you know, now it was like I want

25:11

a boy. I want a boy. If not, I don't want a kiss. It

25:14

was kind of like that because of the

25:16

fear of the relationship that I had,

25:18

you know, even til the end

25:20

of my mom's days, you know. And now it's like

25:23

it's crazy because we were like, we're so close, and

25:25

people come and they see that you're so close to your mom

25:27

and you have such an important place in her life that Kiki

25:30

and Kita they want to cause issues,

25:32

you know, and make up lies and do all these things,

25:34

and unfortunately things stay that way. The good

25:36

thing is I've gone through therapy and I do therapy and I do

25:38

self work every single day, so I

25:40

don't carry that with me anymore. I'm like, you know what, my mom

25:42

and I are good, So I've healed that. Now. I feel

25:44

like if he's the only person,

25:47

my partner is the only one that has made me think, okay,

25:49

he'd be a great father if he wants a kid

25:52

and God allows it, I guess it's

25:54

whatever is meant to happen. I'm more open

25:56

to it for sure. Now now I'm like, you

25:58

know, here here, here are my

26:00

ovaries. Take them. But

26:04

but yeah, I mean, also, my OBG. I was some me

26:06

right now that you were telling about your daughter. She told me. She says,

26:08

you know what, You're never going to regret having a child, but

26:10

you will regret not having one. Yes, And I said,

26:12

oh, well she told me. I was like, oh, okay,

26:14

that changes things a little bit. I'm like, okay, so

26:17

now you're like, you know, you're you're happy you had one, and you're

26:19

she's in the world and she's your legacy.

26:22

So I don't know, you know, I know this

26:24

has been kind of like a heavy conversations. It's

26:28

been a heavy beautiful relationship's going to.

26:30

Gain some way at the end of the show.

26:33

But I'm telling you, guys, I love I love her personality.

26:36

Okay, So would you mind if we ask you, if

26:38

we if I ask you a few questions?

26:40

Oh please?

26:40

I don know I've asked you quite a bit, but I

26:44

mean there there's some fun ones, you know, But

26:47

okay, first of all, this is just one of my personal questions.

26:50

What what's your sign? What's your

26:52

your signal?

26:54

I'm a p with what

26:57

was that word? I think rising my

26:59

right seeing his pisces. Okay, a

27:02

full on pieces?

27:03

You're a full on Oh wow, you're a full of pieces.

27:05

Nice. Okay, so we have a lot in common. I'm

27:07

in cancer and my mom was a cancer Know.

27:09

Much about since Yeah,

27:11

I'll tell you later.

27:12

Okay, So since it's Valentine's Day week,

27:14

let's start with this. Okay, what are your thoughts

27:17

on the holiday? Do you celebrate it?

27:19

Is it corner to you? Are you the type that, like,

27:21

you know, you like to spend

27:23

time by yourself, you go out with your Amiga's Like, what is it

27:25

that you like doing for Valentine's Day?

27:27

Again, we have to go into the

27:29

topic of how the years go by and

27:33

at our different ages. Like if

27:35

there is people who are in their twenties

27:38

or thirties, let's talk about

27:40

when I was at that age. Oh

27:42

yes, I would celebrate everything. Yeah,

27:45

as the years have gone by, what

27:48

will I do in a couple of days in Valentine's

27:51

Day? I will probably

27:53

call those that I love the most.

27:56

There will probably be on one hand the

27:59

number of people I will call because

28:02

most people, like I mentioned before, are

28:05

too busy. People

28:07

have very busy lives, and in the process

28:10

of their busy lives, they don't have

28:12

time for anyone else. And

28:14

as I was growing up in my thirties, my

28:16

forties, my fifties, even

28:19

until my fifties before I sold

28:21

my house a couple of years ago and finally,

28:24

you know, got rid of all those

28:26

memories from the past, big parties,

28:28

lots of people, and then it's just you

28:31

living in a little cubicle because

28:33

you have gotten older and everybody has moved

28:35

on. Up until then, I would celebrate

28:38

all the time. I would dress for

28:40

the occasion. I will wear flowers,

28:42

I will buy flowers, I will send

28:44

cards. I would call, I would love,

28:47

I would hug, I would kiss. Now,

28:51

as you get older, nobody

28:53

calls you. You don't make that

28:55

many more phone calls. The

28:57

cards are not as many that you buy.

29:00

You pass by the aisles where the chocolates

29:02

and the hearts are, and you don't

29:04

have anyone to buy them for anymore.

29:13

Well, when I say

29:16

love everyone around you, do

29:19

it until the day they die. Don't

29:22

let them be all by themselves. Love

29:25

your mothers, your aunts, your grandmothers.

29:28

Show them there, show them,

29:31

and you and everyone might agree,

29:34

might agree with me right now by looking at

29:36

me.

29:37

But wait, just wait

29:40

until those twenty years go by,

29:43

and you'll be sitting in a chair and

29:45

you'll be going, oh, my goodness. I

29:48

remember talking to Alita,

29:50

and this is what she was talking about. We

29:53

don't do it because we're mean people.

29:56

We don't do it because you

29:59

know, we've been taught, Hey, you have to

30:01

be like this when you get to this age. No,

30:05

we are always we always keep

30:07

that child in us. There's a commercial that

30:10

just came out. I'm

30:13

not gonna say the name of the company because

30:15

I always forget anyway, but

30:17

there's three ladies sitting on a bench and

30:21

they're in their probably eighties, and

30:23

they're watching all these children going

30:26

down the snow, sliding

30:29

down the snow. And one of

30:31

the ladies decides to buy some

30:34

pillows to put on the little I

30:37

don't know, the sliding.

30:39

Little things that you used to go, yes, yes,

30:42

the side, yeah, yeah.

30:43

And you see these three ladies,

30:47

three ladies in their eighties, sitting

30:49

there enjoining going down

30:51

the slope of this little

30:53

snow hill, just

30:56

like when they were children.

30:59

Why because we always

31:01

are.

31:02

Because that love, that desire, that

31:04

the want to have fun and be

31:07

loving and show the world. And what do you

31:09

see when they get to the bottom.

31:11

Oh, they're smiling. How

31:13

they're feeling that lung?

31:15

Yeah, healing their inner child.

31:17

Oh yeah, yeah, but

31:19

don't make me cry anymore. Oh, I know, I'm sorry.

31:23

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, Well,

31:26

I mean yeah, I think I think even like getting

31:28

I always say this too on the podcast, I'm like, you know what,

31:30

even if you don't have a partner, you know, go and

31:33

whatever it is that makes you happy. Maybe that's what

31:35

you're you know, you're gonna wake up that and see how you feel.

31:37

If you want to go to lunch, if you want to take a bath, if you want

31:39

to cover my house, whatever you want to do. On Valantine's

31:41

that you let me know.

31:42

What's her address? Just write it down from

31:44

it?

31:44

Yeah, okay, yes, yes,

31:46

please write it down. Okay, okay.

31:52

Next question for those in a long in long term

31:54

relationships, do you have any advice on

31:57

how to spice it up? You know what? If

32:00

well, how long was your longest marriage?

32:02

That's a very good question. Let's see. Let

32:04

me backtrack here. The

32:07

longest was my last one. Okay,

32:09

it was eleven years and

32:14

they were amazing. Yeah, they were amazing.

32:17

We had a lot, a lot of fun. I

32:21

continue to be very young through

32:23

those years.

32:26

If you get to a point in your relationship

32:28

where you have to start thinking about how

32:31

to spice it up, you've already

32:33

screwed up.

32:34

Okay, okay, sure,

32:37

no, we need to keep it spicy.

32:40

But in both ways, right, not just the woman.

32:44

Okay, cool, this man out there, Oh

32:47

no, senor is you.

32:48

Have to you have to show

32:50

your queen who she is. You

32:52

have to treat her as such. We've

32:56

done enough damage to this cultural baggage

32:59

thing. It's move on and just

33:01

love them.

33:02

Yeah, this machismo thing of like no,

33:05

you know, yes,

33:08

that is so, and it has to be both ways.

33:10

Like I said, you know, women conquistar

33:14

romance are men. As I was trying to find the word in my

33:17

head, okay, and I always that's and that's that's

33:19

another thing that as women, we

33:21

want men to know exactly what we want

33:24

and how we what we want. The truth

33:26

is we need to tell

33:28

them. We need to let them know what we expect, what we like.

33:30

Hey, bring me chocolates. I like flowers. I like

33:32

this conquista. We also have to communicate,

33:35

you know, so just a little. That's my bo.

33:37

Even and I think we were just talking.

33:40

There was a conversation going on today that

33:43

even if you go on a first date and

33:46

at the beginning of the night you both have

33:48

this idea of where it should go, talk

33:51

about it. Yes, mention it,

33:53

communicate, communicate even

33:55

from the very beginning, so that at the end of the day

33:57

you don't go, oh, is

34:00

that how you felt? Oh is that what you thought?

34:02

Because no, we need to talk about

34:04

it. Yes, I messed up something. I actually

34:06

went out last night and there was

34:09

a very good looking younger

34:11

man than me but closer to my age

34:14

next to me at the barket trying to get a

34:16

drink, And for like the few

34:18

minutes that he was there, I was like, Okay,

34:20

in my mind, okay, you're cute. And he's looking

34:23

at me like okay, you're cute, and

34:26

let's get a drink. Why don't you get a drink?

34:28

Why don't we take a picture? And we do, and then

34:30

he leaves and I'm like, I messed

34:32

that up.

34:34

Hey, here's my number? Oho,

34:37

what is leana drink at a

34:39

bar. I want to know what's your drink, what's your go

34:42

to drink?

34:42

Actually, I have stopped drinking. Oh,

34:45

okay, during the beginning

34:47

of January this year,

34:50

a year already, I became a vegetarian.

34:53

Oh for her health purposes,

34:55

Okay. I wanted to make sure that I live a

34:57

lot longer, and I

35:00

decided that coffee is now my drink

35:02

of choice. Okay, and once

35:05

in a while, maybe just

35:08

a tiny little bit of vodka with some

35:10

cranberry juice.

35:11

Okay, that's about and that's about it.

35:12

But I feel so much likely.

35:16

M girl. I

35:18

know I've been thinking about that. It's like my long term

35:20

goal. I love tequila, but I'm just like, yeah,

35:23

I'm gonna cleanse Okay, you got to cleanse it out.

35:26

But but I I just it's part

35:28

of my shows, it's part of my culture,

35:30

our culture, you know. But I do

35:32

want to hopefully want to that is.

35:34

My alcoholic baggage.

35:40

Kidding, but but yeah,

35:42

I mean I commend you for that. That's admirable because

35:44

that's honestly one of my desires

35:46

is to be vegetarian and not drink

35:48

any alcohol at all. So okay,

35:50

I want to ask you said you were at a bar, so I was like, I wonder what

35:52

she drinks.

35:53

Well, you know, the one thing that I truly believe

35:55

in.

35:56

Is willpower mm hmm, big

35:58

time.

35:58

And willpower is very hard to have

36:01

and.

36:01

Keep yup and keep As we get older,

36:03

I've noticed it's harder and harder. But will part

36:06

that's something I love to do. That's why I do these cleanses.

36:08

I like to challenge myself, my body, my mind.

36:11

So that's one thing that I feel

36:13

has been lost as well, besides love. It's

36:15

like I don't want to challenge one everything easy. We want that magic

36:17

pill that's gonna make us everything just so easy

36:19

and fast. So that's awesome. Willpower.

36:22

I'm so glad it's willpower.

36:23

Willpower.

36:24

That's one thing that I can say I have a lot

36:26

of, and I think that willpower

36:29

is also what helped me make

36:31

it through each relationship because

36:33

I might have been married five times, but I also

36:36

did a lot of dating in between. What

36:39

can I tell?

36:42

What can I tell you that I am fourteen

36:44

years behind? So number

36:46

six.

36:46

Move right along?

36:47

Hello, Hello, I keep

36:49

insisting, Okay,

36:52

so I have a great question and talk about this. No A

36:54

partner. Number six okay, just if

36:56

someone's watching. What qualities

36:58

make a good partner?

37:00

Oh, kindness,

37:03

kindness, humility.

37:06

Is it important that he believes in God as

37:08

well or has your same faith?

37:09

Yes, he has to believe in God.

37:12

He has to have some form of faith, you

37:15

know, to keep on going. It's

37:17

so hard to hold onto it. But and

37:19

he's got to have a little bit of good

37:22

looks. I mean, I gotta have something good to

37:24

look at. I'm giving him my back,

37:26

yes.

37:27

Yes, and a good package of money. And

37:29

I'm.

37:31

I didn't know what she was going with that joking.

37:34

Pablo's over there, like.

37:34

What money is? What we're talking about? Money?

37:37

Yes? Money, Okay, I'm just kidding.

37:39

No, you guys, I'm not. I'm not. Honestly, I'm not that

37:41

type of girl. I'm not like a gold digger. Because

37:43

I agree

37:46

with you, I need a man. Then, Also, how to communicate

37:49

that is kind Kindness goes. That's

37:51

a part of your character, you know when

37:53

someone's kind, like when

37:56

how they treat other people, you know, I

37:58

just little things like that. I am very observant, so

38:00

kindness is huge, huge, and of course faith

38:02

for me. Okay, so we have another question.

38:06

Are you four or against situationships,

38:10

like, what are the pros and the cons there? What do you think?

38:13

What do you mean by that?

38:14

A situation ship? So a situationship is

38:17

a friend with benefits. I don't have a relationship,

38:19

but I have a situationship. We

38:22

we well, there's no title, we just you know.

38:24

Is that what it's called? Now?

38:25

It's a situationship and it's

38:27

a huge thing. Or or my sneaky link,

38:30

your sneaky link? Do you have a sneaky

38:32

link? Leana? Oh, I wish

38:36

I had to ask. I'll

38:38

find you and I'm just kidding, you know.

38:42

Wow, who's coming up with these words?

38:44

I don't know, But that's nuship

38:47

situations No, I

38:51

had the opportunity to have one,

38:54

maybe a couple of years ago, with a much

38:56

younger man.

38:58

Again because younger man look for me.

39:00

Yeah, because you have a very young spirit for sure.

39:02

Yeah. But no, no,

39:04

no, no, I wouldn't

39:06

want to at this point. No, hell,

39:09

I don't have time for situationships, situations

39:11

You know what, if I died next year, I want the

39:13

one yearship, a one yearship,

39:16

whatever life ship comes

39:18

my way.

39:19

I like that she likes live ships, for

39:21

instance. Do you feel

39:23

that or have you learned from your own

39:26

experiences that having

39:28

someone just to have sex with, Let's just put

39:30

it the way it is. It's like you. For

39:33

me, I've learned, I think

39:35

that just giving yourself to someone sexually,

39:37

it's just you're exchanging energy.

39:39

Like I don't. I can't. I

39:41

can't have just sex to have sex, like, I have to have

39:43

some type of feeling, you know, situations I wouldn't

39:46

work for me personally because I and I've

39:48

told my friend this and I'm not gonna say who, but I told

39:50

her, I said, you know what, I think you need to stop having sex with

39:52

these random guys. You know, it's it's you're

39:54

not allowing God in the universe to

39:56

bring in the right person because God

39:59

and the universe, so whatever you want to call it,

40:01

thinks you're busy because you are exchanging

40:04

energy. Just chill, use

40:07

your vibrator. Okay.

40:08

Sorry, Like

40:10

I say, I have a lot of sex. There's

40:13

just nobody there.

40:14

I love

40:16

you. Yes, I'm not friend. I'm not friend that.

40:18

I'm like, look, i'd rather you

40:21

save that and use this.

40:23

I'm the friend that's going to give you a vibrator because I'm like,

40:25

you know what this is safer. This is safer

40:27

for your feelings, and don't catch

40:30

anything. It's just better in every way. Just use

40:32

this thing. So anyways, we got into

40:34

a whole other conversation. But that's what she thinks on situations.

40:37

Okay, I love it.

40:38

Oh no, no, no, they should

40:40

know people. That's why people are not loving each

40:43

other. Yeah, because they're too busy. Just

40:45

one moment here, one moment there.

40:46

Yeah.

40:46

Now, how many situations ships

40:49

that's one person have

40:52

And how do you know or not know

40:54

that these are going on? And

40:57

does it not bother.

40:58

You that you might not be the only one?

41:00

Yeah? How about diseases

41:02

and things like that? How about no?

41:05

Yes, no on a situation?

41:07

She doesn't like them. I honestly, it's too

41:10

too much.

41:10

And I'm with you now, I'm understanding the cancer

41:12

prices link.

41:13

Here.

41:14

We have to have that feeling.

41:16

Ah for sure, that I loving feeling.

41:18

Yeah, I'm like I need to be attracted. I need to feel

41:20

that you want me. I need to just feel it. Okay,

41:22

So I have one more question for you, Only

41:25

only one more. It's okay

41:27

though, because I've had such a great time with you, I feel like we've only

41:29

been here for like fifteen minutes. Okay,

41:32

So what's your best advice on

41:35

getting over an X? Listen

41:37

up, guys, Okay, what's your best advice

41:39

on that?

41:40

Okay, that's your advice.

41:44

Remember to look

41:46

in the mirror and just love

41:49

yourself when

41:51

that person when you have a breakup,

41:54

And I can tell you after each breakup,

41:56

yes, and I'm

41:58

talking not only a breakup of a relationship

42:01

with a man. I'm talking about a

42:03

friendship with a woman. I'm

42:05

talking about a relationship with one of your

42:07

parents, or your siblings,

42:10

or even your children. In

42:13

order to continue with that, you have to be

42:15

number one, very honest with yourself, love

42:19

yourself, look in the

42:21

mirror the very next day, and go, I

42:23

gave it my all. But

42:25

you have to absolutely be sure

42:27

that you gave it your all, because

42:29

I'm gonna tell you, like it or not, I

42:32

gave each marriage and each relationship

42:35

my very best. I

42:37

loved them. I might have not been too smart

42:40

about it. I might have made

42:42

a lot of mistakes and silly choices,

42:45

but in my heart of hearts, I gave it

42:47

my all and I love them.

42:49

The best way that I could.

42:52

But I wasn't loved back the same way. So

42:54

you have to let them go.

42:56

I think that cats. It's

42:58

not easy, but it's possible. Know

43:01

that you know what, This too shall pass.

43:05

And remember that the new relationship

43:08

has nothing to do with the old one.

43:11

Nothing, not your past experiences,

43:14

not the mistakes that you made, not

43:16

even the silly thoughts that run in your mind every

43:18

single day about the mistakes from

43:21

the past. When you have someone

43:23

new in your life, you give them that

43:24

advice. Absolutely,

43:28

do it all, do it all all over and

43:30

beautiful. And my best advice

43:33

to you is love this relationship

43:35

that you are in because it makes

43:38

you so light and

43:40

airy and bright. Your

43:42

eyes shine and your

43:44

smile is so pretty. And you're

43:46

just thinking about it and I

43:49

don't know him and I

43:51

just met you, But open

43:53

up your heart, open up your mind,

43:56

and he will do the same.

43:57

He already.

44:00

And I want them by the wedding.

44:02

It's absolutely it's you guys

44:04

heard it here and she given chill, It's gonna happen. Oh

44:06

no, thank you so much. That means a lot to me.

44:09

I love giving. I love hearing. Should

44:11

I say I love hearing that that that advice from

44:13

from you from like now, I haven't Alita

44:16

appreciate you have.

44:18

Me as you're Alita, my number

44:20

anytime you want, you know, I say

44:22

this all anytime

44:25

if you have a moment when you have you

44:27

just want to cry and you just go, hey, Lily,

44:30

listen up. That's all. I will be

44:32

there, just to listen to your tears, just

44:34

to listen to one word you have to say.

44:37

I want people to think of me as there a Alita.

44:40

I want people to help me live through

44:43

them, to help me give

44:46

them a little bit of of the loving advice

44:48

that I never got

44:51

because I would have been.

44:53

But look once, You're amazing. Thank you

44:55

so much.

44:56

Yes, you are amazing.

44:59

It was a as It was a beautiful, beautiful

45:01

conversation and I'm so grateful that we were able to

45:03

talk about this. It's such an important

45:06

subject, you know, love, So you guys

45:08

remember be loved based Okay,

45:10

always open your heart to love. That's

45:12

the best way to live. Don't give up all love.

45:15

Like Lily said, you know, to

45:17

get over your ex, you just look

45:19

within and say, you know, what can I

45:22

have done different? What can I do better? And

45:25

that always helps. You're like, okay, cool, it didn't

45:27

work here forgive that person so you can move on. And

45:30

I love what you said about giving yourself,

45:33

your newness to that new person. You

45:35

know they should not suffer because of your past.

45:37

So that's another thing.

45:38

And I remember that if you're

45:40

holding on to that relationship you just

45:43

broke up, but you're holding on to that pain,

45:45

to that resentment, And all that

45:47

God is saying to you is I

45:50

have someone new that you got

45:52

to clear that slave.

45:53

You got to say, you gotta clear it, You gotta let

45:55

go of that baggage.

45:55

So I can bring him down.

45:57

Yes, thank you,

45:59

you're such your so pleasant and thank

46:01

you guys for watching and listening to another

46:03

episode of Cheekys and Chill and I will see you guys

46:05

on the next one.

46:13

Do you need advice on love, relationships,

46:16

health emails? I'm so excited

46:18

to share with you that my Cheekys and Chill podcast

46:21

will have an extra episode drop each week.

46:24

I'll be answering all your questions.

46:26

Just leave me a voice message

46:30

person, Menday. All you have to do is

46:32

go to speak pipe dot com, slash

46:34

Cheeky's and Chill podcast and record your questions.

46:37

I can't wait to hear from you. This

46:39

is a production of iHeartRadio and mike

46:41

Wa podcast Network. Follow us

46:44

on Instagram at Miketura Podcasts

46:47

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46:49

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46:56

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