0:10

Hello, everyone, my beautiful people,

0:12

Welcome to yet another episode

0:15

of Cheeky's and Chill. Today

0:17

is a very special episode

0:19

because a very special person is

0:22

here. Is my guest, my special guest

0:24

and very special to my heart. And

0:26

if some of you guessed my fiance,

0:29

well you're absolutely right.

0:31

Hi Vabe, how are

0:33

you?

0:33

It's good.

0:34

I'm good.

0:35

It's exciting to hear you say my fiance.

0:37

I know, right, Oh my god, I was about

0:40

to say that because the last time you were on the

0:42

podcast, well, we didn't have the set first of all, and

0:44

then it was a year ago.

0:45

And we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah we were,

0:48

and now we're fiances. Yeah, how do you

0:50

feel about that?

0:51

I'm excited. It feels great. It's

0:53

uh, you know, almost a year later,

0:56

and I still get excited when you say

0:58

my fiance, my fiance. I

1:01

like saying it too.

1:02

What about when I say my husband?

1:03

Oh? I don't know if I can handle that one.

1:05

Oh? Why why?

1:08

I'm excited for that? I'm excited.

1:10

Yeah you're not scared? No, no

1:12

at all, not even Yeah, I'm not there

1:14

anymore. Nothing feel good?

1:17

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, we can get into that.

1:19

Yeah, all right, let's get into that I

1:21

love that. Hell yeah, we're gonna have a serious

1:23

conversation.

1:24

Mind you guys.

1:25

He has no idea what I'm going to ask him what we're going to talk

1:27

about. I just wanted him to come on the podcast because

1:29

it's a new set. I'm so excited that we're just

1:31

like celebrating three seasons of Cheeky's

1:33

and chilling thanks to you guys. And well,

1:35

I want to bring people that I had on the first

1:37

two seasons to the set, and of course I have

1:39

to have you on here. So I just have

1:41

notes here just so that I don't forget certain things.

1:44

But I'm just gonna let the conversation flow. There's

1:46

certain things that I just wanted to talk about, like, yes, we

1:48

are engaged, you guys, And

1:51

do we have a date

1:53

set for the wedding?

1:54

Yes, we do.

1:58

Exclusive with Amelia Sanchez, Yes

2:01

we do.

2:02

And I want to keep it very private,

2:05

but we do have a date. It's going to be a small,

2:08

intimate, like I said on the podcast, you guys, a

2:10

small, big wedding because

2:12

we want it very intimate. But it's

2:15

not gonna be like twenty people. That's what I mean by

2:17

small.

2:18

Yeah, right, And also it'll

2:21

be super tight, but also

2:23

it's a small wedding, but there'll

2:25

probably be a lot of big energy between us,

2:28

super.

2:28

Tight like my face.

2:34

Eh, it's my podcast. We cut out whatever we

2:36

want or not, who cares. We're

2:38

just in. You know, you know me, my love, This is why you love me? Hi?

2:41

Are you sure you want this forever?

2:43

Yes?

2:43

I do.

2:45

Okay, Well, let's see, there's

2:47

a lot to talk about. Like I mean, it's been a whole year since

2:49

you've been on the podcast, so now, yes, we're engaged, we have

2:52

a date. We did the IVF thing.

2:55

I feel great after I did

2:57

that. Honestly, I feel like I

2:59

can just enjoy our relationship without

3:02

pressure.

3:03

How do you feel, Yeah, we've talked about

3:05

it, but you know.

3:06

Yeah, I know something on that. Before

3:08

we did it, people always said,

3:11

even like more natural way, people always said,

3:13

if you're trying, it's not

3:15

gonna happen, and if you just forget about it and

3:17

let go, it'll happen naturally.

3:19

Mm hmm.

3:20

When you don't have a backup like IVF,

3:22

I feel like you can't just let go of it

3:24

and not think about it for sure. And I

3:26

think this what this has done for me it truly

3:29

has let me let go of it of like not

3:31

worrying about it. So now I feel

3:33

like I don't think about it now. Yeah

3:36

I think about us having kids and stuff,

3:38

but I don't think of the pressure

3:40

of like, oh my god, is it going to happen or not?

3:42

Yeah?

3:43

Yeah, for sure, And it really has

3:47

helped us out. Like in our relationship,

3:49

I feel like it's not I mean, I think I

3:51

was a little bit more argumentative in

3:53

regards to it, where it's like, Okay, well what if I can't and

3:56

this and that, and like what are you gonna do? Or are you gonna leave me here? And

3:58

like, you know, I would just start bail for

4:00

no reason and he'd be like, dude, get

4:02

over it. But then now I feel like, Okay, I don't

4:04

have to worry about that because I want.

4:05

To work this day.

4:06

I sat down with him because couple's therapy has helped

4:08

us a lot, guys, Yeah, and I sat

4:10

down and I said, look, babe, this is what I'm

4:13

thinking this year. I really want I have

4:15

Diamond, you know, my whole idea with you know,

4:17

Diamond tour, with the album. I was like, I want to give

4:19

it all that I got obviously

4:22

we're both turning a year older, and as

4:24

a woman, you know, my eggs

4:26

are deteriorating, you know, their

4:29

their quality, the quality the eggs aren't as good

4:31

as they were a year ago, two years ago.

4:33

So I was like, I just want to do it. I know I had said I didn't

4:36

want to do it. We're going to try naturally. Whatever, and we're still

4:38

going to try naturally.

4:38

That's the plan, right, Yeah, we're

4:41

at a place in our life where I don't think we should stop

4:43

it from happening.

4:44

Yeah, but but way we

4:46

have a plan though.

4:48

I like our I love our plan.

4:49

Yeah, I love our plan.

4:50

I love our plan. I love the outcome of our

4:52

plan.

4:53

Yes, but if it happens, you mean.

4:56

I wouldn't I'd be extremely excited.

4:59

Yeah, but knowing our plan

5:02

is super exciting to sea.

5:03

Yes, me too.

5:05

That's why I'm like, I want us to be on the same page where it's

5:07

like okay, because I follow like my little calendar thing. If

5:09

you guys don't have a period tracker, ladies, it's awesome,

5:11

but like you like put it in there, like okay, I started

5:14

my period today, I finished my period, and it like helps you

5:16

like on the calendar with like

5:18

your frtility day.

5:19

So it's like it's not that.

5:20

We're not going to do it those days,

5:23

but we got to be just extra careful because we're on

5:25

we have a plan. I just want to make sure

5:27

because I'm something. I mean, I don't feel like I'm pressuring

5:29

you. Like I just said, hey, this is what I would like, and

5:32

you like agreed, You're like hell, yeah, Like, let's do

5:34

this and then next year we'll talk about, Okay,

5:36

let's start banging it.

5:37

Out and seeing what happens. Yeah,

5:40

and have fun what we're doing it.

5:41

Yeah. Absolutely, I think we're having

5:43

because we're.

5:44

Still banging it out, but now like now intentionally.

5:48

I think we're having the most fun, right, Yeah,

5:50

because of the pressure is off. Yeah,

5:53

Like we haven't sure. We haven't even talked about

5:56

since we've done this, we haven't talked about do you think

5:58

we can have kids or not? Like we haven't even had that conversation

6:01

because we don't think about it anymore. We're not worrying about it.

6:03

Yeah.

6:03

Honestly, I think it's one of the best things I could have done. It

6:05

was very emotionally like

6:07

it was a lot, you know, I think, but you were

6:10

with me the entire way, and I'm so grateful for you

6:12

because I told him already that like you would mix

6:14

the medicine for me, like you would help me. You were there holding

6:16

my hand, trying to go to every appointment, only missed one

6:19

because you had to work, and I was like, don't feel bad, go

6:22

but you wanted me to FaceTime you and everything, like he's been

6:24

very he was very good. And you know what, like

6:26

we just celebrated three years. I can't believe

6:28

that it's gonna it was three years. I mean,

6:31

I don't know who asked this the other day, but they're like, does it feel

6:33

like three years? And I'm like, it doesn't.

6:35

It feels like shorter. That's a good thing, right.

6:37

I don't feel like, oh my god, I'll go with this guy forever. Like I

6:39

feel like it's so brad now.

6:40

I'm like three years already because we

6:43

were never fought.

6:43

We have we have a lot of fun. Honestly, I

6:45

enjoy my time with you so much, like you're

6:48

my favorite person to hang out with and I'm fine

6:50

with it. I've never felt that way, right.

6:52

Yeah, I want to be with you all day every day.

6:55

We too dude, I love eating with you, I

6:57

love writing bikes with you. Like we

6:59

just I've never i'vever been able to get away. And I've said

7:01

this so many times, but I really truly mean it, like

7:03

where it's like, oh, I'm so excited to get away just with

7:06

you and we have dinner and we don't

7:08

necessarily have to talk about anything. It's just we're

7:10

there and we're just happy.

7:12

And we've been sober.

7:13

Yeah, that's been huge for us too,

7:15

Like both of us been sober, like no

7:17

cannabis, no alcohol.

7:20

Just shrooms a couple times.

7:22

A couple times when we went to Big Sur to celebrate

7:24

our three years, we did shrooms and

7:26

not like crazy amounts. You guys, it's not like and

7:28

we don't do it to like, oh let's fucking party and like

7:30

get crazy. Like we're always super intentional about

7:33

like being spiritually aligned and doing

7:35

it for spiritual reasons.

7:37

And it was beautiful. We got in the jacuzzie

7:39

and we just talked and we just talked. It

7:42

was so awesome. Yeah, yeah,

7:44

it was awesome.

7:45

This one was a good one because we were

7:48

functional and we were able to have

7:50

really great conversations. Yeah, in a

7:52

jacuzzie overlooking a mountain. Yeah,

7:55

like it was incredible.

7:56

It was awesome.

7:57

We were in nature. I swear I was like talking

7:59

to the trees and not like talking to the ship. But I was like, dude,

8:01

they're alive. They're alive, And it just made

8:03

me appreciate nature so much in the moment.

8:06

It was so awesome.

8:07

You guys, And for those of you shrooms they sound

8:09

really bad, but they're mushrooms. Okay, they come from the earth, you

8:11

guys are psychedelic psilocybin.

8:14

It comes from the earth. It's supernatural. They're

8:16

medicinal. And if you don't know more about

8:18

it, maybe one day we can talk about it. We talked about it on the

8:20

pod. We're gonna probably have to invite someone to come

8:23

and really get into it now that we have a set. But like, I

8:25

feel like there even I always say this even better

8:28

than Thailand, or even better than a lot of things that we eat

8:30

and drink on a daily basis. But that's just my opinion.

8:33

And we're grown ups and we're

8:36

good. But we do it together and we're on the same frequency,

8:38

and I feel like it's really helped our relationship as well.

8:40

Yeah, a lot.

8:42

My favorite benefit of you

8:44

know, psilocybin is how present

8:46

it makes us. And every

8:49

time we've had it, whether it

8:52

felt like it was a bad trip or not, it

8:54

always brought out what needed to come out. And

8:56

oh my god, yes, because sometimes

8:58

we have we're smooth, say, and sometimes

9:01

it gets a little rocky and rough, but after

9:03

it's like it brings out the things that

9:05

we might be holding in and we talk,

9:08

we talk, we sit there, we cry together, we

9:10

let everything out. And I think that's

9:13

like there's always a benefit after.

9:16

We do it.

9:16

Yeah, absolutely, And I always pray

9:18

God, this medicine that

9:21

comes from like the earth that you have provided,

9:23

like let it like enter my body and bring out only

9:25

the best. And I remember right now that you brought

9:27

that up. And I'm not sure if we've ever talked about it or I did.

9:30

But when we did it one time in Zion

9:33

and we had a massive argument, you guys

9:36

before going into like the narrows and

9:39

we were supposed to we had this whole day plan, had our

9:41

little snacks, everything so excited and then it just

9:43

kicked in right when we parked and

9:47

it was crazy, like we

9:49

had really not horrible

9:51

like we're hitting each other, no, but we just had

9:53

a very deep discussion and I started

9:56

crying and he was crying, and I left the car and then

9:58

like I felt like a little girl like something.

10:00

I don't know remember. I don't even remember what the argument was.

10:02

About, but I just remember after that, I

10:04

just we walked into the narrows together and it

10:06

was just so awesome.

10:07

Yeah. I also don't remember

10:10

what the argument was about or what the conversation

10:12

was about, but that time,

10:15

like I hold onto that time. I feel

10:18

it a lot. I get reminded

10:20

of it a lot, especially

10:22

when we do shrooms, because what I take from

10:24

it it was it made us be present

10:26

with each other and you

10:28

know, express the things that we needed to express, and

10:30

then it felt clean, And

10:33

which is why I like to go.

10:34

To took out some junk, I guess.

10:36

Yeah, Yeah, which is why I like to go to

10:38

places like that with you, because we're like so

10:40

close to the earth, and I feel like

10:43

I believe Mother Nature created

10:45

those places for us to go there, and

10:48

and it's she's doing wonders for us and like

10:50

cleans us and she's like, you know what, come here,

10:53

be grounded here with me, and I'll clean

10:55

you up a little bit. Yeah, and we leave rejuvenated.

10:58

Yeah, rejuvenated face cream, face

11:00

cream, face cream.

11:02

Every time I say rejuvenated, guys, Now he's

11:04

like face cream.

11:06

He uses my products and he loves them, don't lie.

11:08

I do every day every day he uses.

11:10

My skincare products. Does

11:17

it feel different like now that you're my fiance?

11:19

Like?

11:19

Does it feel different like?

11:20

Because I know, like there are times you guys, and he gets

11:22

so mad at me when I'm with my boyfriend.

11:25

He's like, I'm here what I'm oh? Yeah, I'm sorry, my

11:27

fiance. I have done that.

11:28

I've done that maybe

11:31

once or twice.

11:32

Yeah, But.

11:35

I feel more connected

11:37

to you for sure being fiancee, and

11:41

I feel like we're It means like we're

11:43

you know, committed to the same path, to the same

11:45

things that we want in our life. And it's just like

11:48

it to me, it's that prep It's

11:50

that you know, right before husband

11:53

and wife.

11:54

So it's like starting to feel like more

11:56

what's the word solidified?

11:57

Yes, I feel that a lot.

12:00

He taught me how to say that word correctly, guys, because I

12:02

used to say, what

12:05

felicitate? You felicit felicity

12:07

facilitate.

12:08

I'm like, yeah, you're right, babe. Sorry, and then I

12:10

said solidified or sacilic. I don't

12:12

know what I used to say, but anyways, it's the word. But yes,

12:15

it does feel more so, it

12:17

does. It does, and I like

12:19

it. I like it, and I feel I feel like we're

12:21

in a really good place. And I

12:23

don't know, I really do see us eventually

12:26

helping other couples out. I mean, because

12:29

I've been very open about

12:31

myself and the things that I've had to work through

12:33

and within myself

12:36

and my past relationships. And he's,

12:38

as you guys could see, he's very like level

12:41

headed and very mature and like.

12:43

He really grounds me.

12:45

And I feel that that's why it's

12:47

worked, because you've been so

12:51

so patient.

12:51

It's like the word that I can like.

12:54

You've been very.

12:54

You've given me a lot of grace because I've been very

12:57

honest and said, hey, this is I

12:59

let it all hang out. Is who I am yo, you

13:01

know, And and he's been okay cool, like

13:04

I let him know, and he's been very He's

13:07

really helped me through it and

13:09

and I'm just I think, I don't know, and we're in a good

13:11

place because we're doing couples therapy.

13:13

You guys, Yeah, it's helped.

13:14

A lot, which like reminds me of like

13:17

what I wanted to say about being a fiance. It's

13:20

even even this, I would

13:22

say, almost a year of being

13:25

engaged. It's changed

13:27

dramatically since the beginning of our engagement

13:30

to even now. And I feel

13:32

one of the biggest things that I took from

13:35

our premarital counting is that everyone's

13:39

pre marital here. Yeah.

13:41

I was like, it's not a couples therapy.

13:42

Okay, everyone plans for a

13:44

wedding, but no one plans for a marriage. And

13:46

I think the difference between us

13:48

and maybe you know, anyone else who's

13:51

maybe not prepping correctly is

13:54

that we are prepping. We're putting in the work

13:56

this year, yeah, preparing for our marriage,

13:58

and we're like getting things in line so that once we're married,

14:00

we're not like, what do you think

14:02

about this?

14:03

What do you think about that?

14:04

And yeah, and we're doing everything before

14:07

it happens. And I think that's why we feel

14:09

so ready. We put in the work to

14:12

prep for it, and I think that's why we get

14:14

are excited and we're not really worried about

14:16

as many things we were worried before that

14:19

come with spending the rest of your life with someone.

14:21

Yeah.

14:21

So that's why I

14:23

feel.

14:23

Like we're both very open to the process, very open

14:26

and talking about there's certain things out in premarital

14:28

counseling, like I feel nervous

14:30

to tell him, just him and I because I'm like, I don't want to hurt his

14:32

feelings or what if I say it wrong. But I

14:34

go in there and I'm like, I have to be honest. This is my chance.

14:37

And he takes it so well and I take

14:39

it so well. And I think because we're both just open

14:42

to growing and making this relationship right,

14:44

Like we have to choose each other every single

14:47

day. And that's once

14:49

that clicked in my mind. It's like, this is a choice.

14:51

I have to choose this person, which means I have

14:53

to make certain adjustments. I have to

14:55

be willing to compromise, and that

14:58

wasn't as easy for me before. But

15:00

you also give me the room for that, you know.

15:02

I think it's because we're both ready, you know, And

15:05

it makes the biggest difference in the world.

15:07

Yeah. I think one of the biggest things that we learned

15:10

was that were a.

15:11

Team and that was like one.

15:13

And even like what that really means and

15:15

in our daily life and our language towards

15:17

each other and how we say things and

15:20

how we decide on things, and it's and it's never

15:22

gonna just be you versus me. It

15:24

will never be you versus me. It's always

15:26

us. And you know, and I think switching

15:29

our mind into that mentality,

15:31

it's it's helped a lot versus like there's

15:34

there's no half and half, it's we're one,

15:37

you know. So it's it's changed.

15:39

A lot, for sure.

15:41

And that's another thing that I

15:43

was listening to a to a friend of mine,

15:46

and I'm so

15:48

grateful because she was

15:50

explaining like how her partner

15:53

is like, well, if we have to go to therapy, then

15:55

that means we shouldn't be together.

15:57

And I was just.

15:58

Like shit, like that's so which that's

16:01

not the right way to see things, Like it's

16:03

like it's not, oh, if I have to go to therapy, something's wrong

16:05

with me, I'm damaged, I'm this and that Like, no,

16:07

it's it's really we're two different

16:10

people, you guys. This is why I'm such a huge advocate

16:12

of of you know, counseling, of

16:15

life coaching, of therapy, is because we're

16:19

two different people coming together and

16:21

that could be very difficult because we're so said

16:23

in our ways. But if we're open to

16:25

expanding and becoming one,

16:28

it's not necessarily losing myself because that was

16:30

what I was scared of. I was like, oh no, I still want to be me. I

16:32

still want to be free, I still want to like and I

16:34

now I know I can be myself and

16:36

I can't also let him be himself, not

16:39

let him he should be and I should

16:41

be. And then we just come together and discuss

16:43

certain things. And I think that's what dude,

16:46

I've grown so much, even like in the past freaking few

16:48

months, like where I'm like, oh, dude, like it's I

16:50

had an epiphany. I'm like, I'm always evolving.

16:52

I'm always like, oh my god, I'm so glad

16:54

because like I used to see this differently.

16:56

Now I'm like, yes, we're a team.

16:57

And it just completely switched everything for me.

17:00

And I wasn't very easy, but I wanted to,

17:02

you know, and you know, and we even talked

17:04

about IVF in you know, premarital,

17:07

you know, and it's like with something like you guys really got to talk

17:09

about this.

17:09

Do you guys really want kids? And I was like, well, I'm

17:12

eighty percent.

17:12

No. I was like I'm chilling, Like I'm

17:15

like I'm already at this age, like I barely

17:17

like Johnny's just moved out, Like I'm

17:19

just I'm really trying to figure myself out.

17:22

But then so many things happen. It's like we

17:25

talked about it and we were just like we decided

17:27

even on we'll go back to IVF

17:29

for now. But even with like the wedding date, like

17:31

I was I don't know where right

17:33

and you were were we weren't in the same city.

17:36

I was traveling. I don't remember where we were at.

17:38

But anyways, I was thinking and we had

17:40

talked about, okay, so are we really going to

17:42

get married like next year, like

17:44

what's the plan? And then we kind of like had

17:46

a little discussion. I was in Mexico,

17:49

actually I was in TJ, and

17:51

we kind of it was like starting to become like a little

17:53

bit of an argument. And then I was like, you know what, we'll

17:55

talk about it when we get home, and You're like, yeah, let's talk about

17:57

it because this is something I really want to talk about. Like I

18:00

was like, oh shoot, I was like all right, So I started

18:02

thinking about it, and I was like, I'm going to pray about this.

18:04

I was like, let me just settle. And then I was like,

18:06

okay, I'm going to talk to him about this and I have a plan.

18:08

I have a plan.

18:09

Hopefully he'll be on board and see what he thinks or

18:11

whatever. And the crazy thing is is when

18:13

I came and I said, Babe, this is what I was thinking. What if we

18:15

just do this type of wedding And

18:18

he's like what I was thinking the same

18:20

exact thing.

18:20

Yeah, right, yeah, And I was like,

18:23

oh my god, this is god. I was like, okay,

18:25

yeah.

18:26

Because I felt a little nervous,

18:29

but like I just felt a little antsie because things

18:32

a lot of things started happening quickly, and I.

18:33

Was like my career.

18:34

I was like, what's going to happen?

18:37

And you know, and I don't know. I

18:39

kind of figured I kind of put the pieces together

18:41

for the rest of the year. And then

18:43

it was exactly what you were thinking as well.

18:46

It's because like you

18:48

just got to talk about it.

18:49

And I think he felt like, hello, we had like, well,

18:51

where's the wedding going to fit in? Because we both were like we

18:53

don't want to be engaged for a long time like that's

18:55

not what we want.

18:56

We want to get married.

18:57

But then I started getting a bunch of opportunities

19:00

and then he's, you know, with his career,

19:02

and we're like, oh wait, what's really

19:04

going to happen? You know, It's like so

19:08

anyways, he was worried, I was worried, and it just

19:10

so happened to be that we were on the same page and now we

19:12

have a plan and it's like great and IVF

19:15

is done.

19:15

Actually talking about.

19:16

IBF, Yeah, I kind of wanted to say something

19:19

on that. I think about

19:22

when you were like, you know, eighty percent now

19:24

you always leaned more towards

19:26

you didn't want to have kids. Yeah, and I

19:28

think as our relationship has progressed

19:31

and we've been more secure

19:33

about our future and what we want and

19:36

you makes.

19:36

Me feel safe that's why.

19:37

Yeah, so do you. And

19:41

also creating the space in our lives for

19:43

that with you know, it

19:46

really got us to a place to where you

19:48

felt open to it. And

19:50

then as things started happening, I just was sitting

19:53

back. I didn't want to like say anything, but

19:55

like I was really sitting back through the IVF

19:57

process and like letting it sink

20:00

into your head.

20:01

Yeah.

20:02

I saw the excitement growing each

20:04

week, and for me,

20:07

I was like, you deserve

20:09

this, and I felt that out seeing

20:11

you excited about finally being

20:14

open to having kids, Like, I

20:16

was like, you deserve this, You deserve to have all these things,

20:18

and it shouldn't you should not have that

20:20

because you were scared of anything.

20:22

Or yeah I was. I had a lot

20:24

of things that I hadn't

20:26

even impact. I thought it was for one reason

20:28

or another, and it was just a bunch of reasons. And

20:31

but then at the end of the day, I'm like, what the heck,

20:33

Like I would love

20:35

to see a little human that we can

20:37

grow like together and

20:40

then mold. And it

20:42

was just started becoming very excited then to see

20:44

you, Like I knew he was going to be a great dad, And

20:46

we talked about this on one of the first episodes, like I'm

20:48

like one with Ryu with our dog, how

20:51

you are just so patient and like the

20:53

way you train him. And I know, obviously you can't like

20:55

compare a dog to like a human being, but when

20:57

I saw that, I was like, oh my god, he's so patient. He wakes up

21:00

every like three hours, and it's like I'm like he'd be a really

21:02

good dad because I'm like then, I'm like, I

21:04

wouldn't mind you be my baby daddy.

21:06

You know I ain't got no other baby mama drama.

21:08

I'm chilling, like you know, you

21:10

have a beautiful family, you have a beautiful

21:12

mind, Like I knew, if God forbid

21:14

anything ever happened to me and I have to

21:16

leave this earth, I know my baby would be in

21:18

great hands. And that's what to

21:20

me is so important because I didn't have the

21:23

best father figure. You

21:25

know, he was a good dad, but so much shit

21:28

happen, as you guys know, you

21:30

know, and he's out of my life, and I just want to make sure

21:32

that you know my baby has a good family. And

21:34

I love your family. I love your mother, I love your

21:36

g I love your whole family. And it's

21:39

just such a blessing. So is there

21:41

any advice that you would like to give any

21:43

guys out there that are going and be honest,

21:45

because I know I was a handful, but was

21:48

it really I don't know say the truth about IVF. Is there any

21:50

type of advice that you would like to give anybody out there?

21:54

Because it's what I

21:56

really want and I know I

21:58

want this with you. There

22:00

wasn't a real part of the process that was

22:03

like like, ah, this is too

22:05

hard or this is the Only thing I can

22:07

think of is just seeing you going through, you

22:10

know, all the medications and you being you

22:12

know, a little sluggish,

22:14

and the pain of you physically putting a needle

22:16

in you. But

22:18

besides that physical toll on you,

22:21

like, the entire process emotionally

22:23

is honestly more exciting

22:27

than scary, and

22:29

especially knowing what we were going for and learning

22:31

about it, learning about your body. Like, I

22:34

felt really excited throughout the entire process

22:36

versus scary. The only thing that

22:39

was a little scary and I got a little

22:41

sad on was just you and physical pain.

22:43

But one thing too, though, I'm

22:45

really glad that we were only

22:48

able to I mean.

22:49

That we only had to go through it once.

22:51

Yes, that we only had to go through at one time.

22:53

I prayed for that a lot. Guys.

22:56

Yeah, I don't. I could imagine how tough it

22:59

could be if we had to do it two, three, maybe

23:01

even four times.

23:03

Yeah, recommend

23:05

Yeah, And I admire the women that have

23:09

because it is a lot on your body, you know what I mean,

23:11

and on your emotional state. And you feel like, oh

23:13

my god, why do I There are moments where I was like, Okay,

23:16

it sucks that I have to do this, you know, But then I'm like,

23:18

well, no, this is a blessing. And I would go back and forth,

23:20

and it's just I prayed for it so much. I was like,

23:22

God, please, I just want to do this one time. The

23:24

entire year, I was thinking about work, I was thinking about my

23:26

body. I was thinking about just so many different things that I

23:29

was like, I'm so grateful, and you're

23:31

right, you know, because it is women.

23:32

We go through a lot. You guys, we go through

23:34

a lot.

23:36

One thing on the amount of where

23:38

the regret if we didn't do it or if we did for

23:41

us, I told you after we

23:43

retrieved eggs. So

23:46

just for general knowledge, like if people want

23:49

one kid, the doctor recommends

23:51

to have at least two healthy eggs. If

23:54

they want more than two kids, it's you know, three four.

23:56

But you know, were we agreed we're okay

23:59

with one. So our goal was for two. And

24:02

I told you that before

24:04

we get the results back on if they're healthy or not.

24:07

I if we got

24:09

if we got one and

24:12

we needed to, I would

24:14

probably push for a conversation to

24:16

be like, hey, maybe we should try this one more

24:18

time. Yeah, because I felt like we're

24:20

kind of right there, right if we got

24:22

none, I told you we

24:25

wouldn't have to go through it again if you didn't want to.

24:27

And I'm okay with at my peace with us

24:29

trying and if it happens naturally, happens

24:31

naturally. But that's where I was with the numbers,

24:36

and I was totally okay with not

24:38

doing it again if we got zero.

24:40

But yeah, butin goodness, you know, we've got

24:42

twelve total, and then

24:45

we got seven after like they retrieve

24:48

them or like they do the thing.

24:50

Right, was it?

24:50

Yeah, once they mixed it, Yeah, once they mixed Yeah.

24:53

So anyways, that's IVF

24:55

And I'm so grateful and like, I'm so appreciative

25:00

that I have a partner that's so great

25:02

and so like understanding because it

25:06

is something that I felt like, oh my god, that sucks,

25:08

like he's gonna think something's wrong with him. But in reality,

25:10

it's not. That's not it, you guys. It's just it's time. It's

25:13

it's life. It's what happens, and it's part

25:15

of being a woman. And I

25:17

see it in a different way, and it really

25:19

I'm really happy that I did it.

25:21

Yeah, I am. Also because

25:23

I've always told you that I'm

25:26

okay if we don't have kids, because you can't,

25:28

like, I won't ever put that on you. Not

25:31

trying is a different thing. But

25:33

yeah, I feel like you find and believe me now

25:36

now that we have done IVF to

25:38

where you know you you

25:40

believe what I say. I'm like, this is what I

25:43

want. If we can do it, great. If we can't,

25:45

it's also okay. And there's you know,

25:47

I won't ever like hold that against you in any

25:49

sort of way.

25:50

Yeah, I know you've been You've been good. You said

25:52

you'd be fine with just me, my

25:54

handful. It's a lot. Whatever.

26:04

So now that the

26:06

Johnny has moved out, how do you feel about

26:09

that? We haven't

26:11

really talked about it too much.

26:12

I mean we have we miss.

26:14

Him, little comments for sure, little comments

26:16

here and there. It

26:18

does feel weird. I'll

26:21

go downstairs and I'm like, there's

26:23

no one else here, and I'm

26:25

like, and and we just had

26:28

routines and we just bump into each other and we just

26:30

would talk and it

26:34

it does. It's

26:36

bittersweet because it does. If I

26:38

miss Johnny. I miss Johnny in the house and

26:40

it feels weird with him not there, like super

26:43

close, even though he still is kind of close, but

26:45

it's not as close as like, hey, John, come downstairs.

26:49

But uh, I love you.

26:51

I love John I know.

26:53

I love that they love each other.

26:54

Dude.

26:57

I'm also like just super happy for him

27:00

to like see

27:02

his growth from you know, from when I

27:04

met you guys to now. And yeah, you know the

27:06

thing that like kind of like I'm

27:09

okay with is saying how happy he is right now.

27:11

I've never seen him

27:13

so just he's thriving, comfortable and

27:16

thriving and super happy. And

27:19

I'll drive by his building and I was like, oh, he's one that he's

27:21

good.

27:21

I know, same, same, But

27:24

yeah, it's crazy. Sorry,

27:26

it's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I love that about you.

27:28

I love that, you know, there's so much like we've

27:31

talked about this as well, that you know, being

27:34

latinos and stuff, and it's like, oh, guys,

27:36

don't cry, And I like, I love the fact that you're so

27:38

willing to be vulnerable and not a lot of guys are. And I think

27:40

that's why I fall in love with you, because

27:42

you're just You're just.

27:44

I don't know. I think I found you or

27:47

you found me.

27:47

We found each other at the right time, because

27:50

it wouldn't have worked if like the things that you say that

27:52

how you were before and how I was, it just wouldn't

27:54

have worked.

27:54

Like we had to go through everything we went through in order

27:57

to be here.

27:57

So, if anything, I am so grateful

27:59

that you loved me, because I've been in

28:01

situations where it's been the complete opposite and

28:03

it was the worst thing ever for me. So

28:06

the fact that you've always been so you've always embraced

28:08

him. And he texts you,

28:10

I think more than he texted me, I love you, I miss you.

28:12

Like it's like, I'm like, it makes me so happy. I'm

28:14

like, just like I love this.

28:16

I love it. And he wants us to have a kid so bad. You have no idea.

28:18

Yeah, He's like, this is it. This is a guy.

28:20

You need to have a kid. This is it. I see it. It's going to happen

28:22

this year. I'm like, oh my god.

28:23

And he's and we all know he's a little psychic. Yeah, so

28:26

he's a prophet. So I'm just like, dude,

28:28

I like it's I guess Johnny said, we got

28:31

to do it, man.

28:32

Yeah, That's why anytime he tells us anything,

28:34

I'm like, Okay, it's gonna happen.

28:37

I have to worry about it.

28:38

I know, it's like, dude, he's the youngest, but it's like a

28:41

lot of the ship that he has said, I'm

28:43

like.

28:43

Fuck, he's right.

28:44

I mean, I know it, and he always has valid

28:46

reasons about a lot of things.

28:49

But it's just that it's crazy. He has a gift.

28:51

I think that's also why I connected so much

28:53

of john because I

28:55

feel like we think the same things, and I feel

28:57

like we're always on the same page. And so like

29:00

anytime he says something and everyone goes against

29:02

them, I'm like.

29:04

I agree with him. I agree

29:06

with you. You know shit, sorry

29:08

if but you know ship, he

29:12

really does. He really does. Yeah.

29:14

I mean, I'm so grateful.

29:15

I want to play a game with you, a game that

29:18

I think you may very well

29:20

know because you shoot all their pictures.

29:22

Who are not really strangers. Yeah nice,

29:25

yea.

29:26

I bought a bunch of them.

29:27

I thought we were already getting deep deeper.

29:30

We'll pull out a couple of cards. We have

29:33

had these cards. He knows

29:35

the owner, and I know them too. I

29:37

met them through him, but he does all their

29:39

product pictures and they're in Target.

29:41

Actually it's pretty cool.

29:42

But anyways, I really love this,

29:44

this this game, and I've

29:46

never played it with him. We've had it in our drawer in

29:49

the nightstand and we've never played it. Actually,

29:51

look, we've never played it.

29:52

I'm not lying. So do

29:55

you want to help me unwrap these real quick? Yes?

29:57

It's a couple's addition, and we're going to get to know each

29:59

other a little bit more. These are like having This is about

30:02

having a real conversation with

30:04

strangers, with your couple, with your friends, with your family,

30:06

and really talking about deep shit that usually

30:08

you wouldn't talk about.

30:10

So this facilitates

30:13

it. I couldn't

30:15

say anonymous before either, and I learned

30:17

that one too. I don't know why.

30:18

I would just get like a little difficult

30:20

to pronounce certain words.

30:23

Different levels. Yes, the one that you grab.

30:24

This one, this is three, and

30:27

this is two. Okay, all right, I

30:29

give this a miss Kim over there? All

30:31

right, guys, So basically, I

30:33

mean we've done this before. I pulled out a three cards. But anyways, this

30:35

is the Couple's edition. And we're gonna pull one,

30:38

two or three.

30:39

We should I think we should do whatever

30:42

you want. I say, let's do one, two three. But if you want to go

30:44

one.

30:44

Two, three, three, okay, cool? Can you pick one

30:47

from level one?

30:49

Describe the first time we met through

30:52

your perspective in detail, the.

30:55

First time we through my perspective.

30:58

Okay, guys, So this is this is the truth. I

31:01

met him when I was going through

31:03

a really tough time. I was going through separation and

31:06

emotionally, I was nowhere near like

31:08

wanting or in.

31:10

Any business trying to get into a relationship.

31:12

I was.

31:12

It was a really bad place for me.

31:13

But I remember him walking in and because

31:16

he was taking pictures of me. It was for We've

31:18

talked about it a little bit, but it was he

31:21

was taking pictures of me for a

31:23

video shoot that I was going to have with Becky

31:26

g for Joelene and anyways, we were

31:28

in the pandemic. So anyways, that's

31:30

how I met him. Why I met him and he came into the house and

31:32

I just remember I'm like, oh my god. I was like there was something about

31:34

him, like he just smiles it Hi, I'm a Milia

31:36

And I'm like oh hi, and I just looked and

31:38

I was like, damn ye, it's really pretty eyes. I didn't say anything,

31:40

obviously. I was just I thought it and I told my makeup

31:42

people and I was like, oh my god, like, you

31:45

know, he's very cute,

31:48

and I'm like, can you ask if he's married?

31:51

And it was Carlos. He's doing my makeup that day. His name

31:53

is Carlos Tomorrow and anyways, and he's.

31:55

Like, yeah, don't ture bitch. I got it. So I was like, okay.

31:57

So he's like you want to sneak in there, and I guess

32:00

he asked you, right, are you married? And then

32:02

you said no? And then I

32:04

was and I was like, well, does he have a girlfriend. I was like, did

32:06

you ask if he has a girlfriend?

32:07

The follow up question? And he's like, no, bitch, but.

32:09

He ain't married, so that don't matter. And I

32:11

was like, okay, fine.

32:13

I was like, well, I guess you know.

32:14

But I was like, you know what, I'm going through way

32:16

too much. I'm separated right now, but there's a lot of things

32:18

I have to unpack. So I just was like whatever, and

32:20

then I was like, okay, be professional. So I was I

32:22

think very professional.

32:23

I don't know.

32:24

You tell me if I was. I thought that I

32:26

was. I did,

32:29

but for the most part, I wasn't. Like, was I being flirty

32:32

a little.

32:33

Bit a little slightly okay?

32:34

Maybe? Yeah, okay, cool, then I was being

32:36

flirty, but I felt like I was being respectful.

32:38

But yes, I did tell him.

32:39

I was like, hey, I like your eyeballs, That's what I told

32:41

him. And he was very

32:44

professional, you guys, which I love. He

32:46

was very professional. I didn't even think that he

32:48

was like into me or anything. He was just very nice.

32:51

And then you were looking

32:53

a little thick that day.

32:54

I was a little little thick, but

32:56

yeah, so then that's it was really nice. And

32:58

I remember I was like, Okay, he's really

33:00

cute and he.

33:01

Was so professional. He was so nice, and that was what I

33:04

thought. That was my perspective when we first.

33:06

Met, and then we met again after that, and that was

33:08

even That was bunner. But that's not the question, okay.

33:11

So like, usually the way the game works, you guys,

33:13

is that we both have to respond. So I

33:15

went deeper in it. So if you want to add anything,

33:17

babe, real quick, and then I'll choose one because I want

33:19

to ask him.

33:20

Yeah, I

33:22

our first we know our first and second time.

33:25

We kind of like mixed them together because we know

33:27

each other.

33:28

But what did you think of me?

33:29

Describe the first time we met? Through you we

33:33

met. I

33:35

remember when you came out of your glam m hmm.

33:39

This has never happened to me, and I'm sure it

33:41

really did happen, but you came out of that

33:43

glamor room in slow motion and

33:46

I was like, oh my god. And

33:49

then we came up to each other and then we

33:51

were both like.

33:52

I would say, how

33:54

are you?

33:55

And that that actually happened for

33:57

real? Has it never happened in my life? And that happened?

34:00

Told me that I had like this glow around like in the movies.

34:02

Yeah, he told me that.

34:03

I was like, really, you were across the room and you were

34:05

walking to motion. I was like, oh my god. And

34:09

then I couldn't speak.

34:10

I hope it ever goes away.

34:12

It doesn't, Oh my god.

34:14

Okay, I don't choose what this

34:16

is fun? Okay, Oh

34:19

my god, I

34:22

would choose this freaking card. Okay, there

34:25

you go. When was the last time I hurt

34:27

you? Perhaps unintentionally?

34:29

Oh all right, we're getting

34:31

into it.

34:32

Let's do it.

34:34

Oh man, Uh,

34:39

the last time you hurt me, I

34:42

would say, oh,

34:45

he's like two hours ago, and I was kidding. You

34:49

know, Thankfully, we don't really hurt

34:51

each other a lot in this relationship. I

34:54

think we're both mature enough to understand that

34:57

things do happen, and you know, we do spend

35:00

every day interacting with each other. And

35:04

but I feel sometimes,

35:07

you know, if if

35:09

I'm in a jolly mood and maybe you're not,

35:12

and sometimes it

35:14

might feel to me that you

35:16

might take something out on me. But

35:20

I've also learned that, you know, unless

35:22

I really know I did something to you, it's it's

35:24

something that likes to be patient. You

35:26

know, we're both going through a lot of things every

35:29

single day, and

35:32

I don't take things personal

35:35

from you if I know that it's

35:37

not intended for me. But

35:40

but yeah, just.

35:41

Sometimes that my tone of voice, huh.

35:43

Yeah, yeah, and it makes me think, like, oh, she

35:45

not love me today? Why is she being mean?

35:47

Is that?

35:47

You know? Yeah?

35:48

But yeah, and that's something

35:50

that you brought up to me, like not

35:52

so long ago, where you're like, you know what, sometimes like your

35:54

tone of voice, you know, it makes me

35:56

feel a certain way and I'm like, shit, Like

35:59

it's not the first time I hear that, so

36:01

I'm like, damn, I really want I definitely don't

36:03

want to hurt you. You're one person that I don't want to hurt.

36:05

So I'm just like, every time you bring something to my attention,

36:08

I'm like, I need to fix it.

36:09

I want to fix it, you know.

36:10

And I think that I've done

36:13

pretty good with that with the things that you tell me, but

36:15

it is sometimes I'm not even I'm dealing with so

36:17

much, so many other

36:19

things that have nothing to do with the relationship that

36:22

you. We tend to take it out on the closest person

36:24

to us, and I admit

36:26

to that. And for the most part,

36:28

I'm very good at like if I'm upset at one person, I'm upset

36:31

at that person, and I don't take it out on the world.

36:32

But for some reason, my partner,

36:35

because I'm.

36:35

He's you're the closest person to me,

36:37

and I'm like so vulnerable with you and everything,

36:40

like you get the shorter end of the stick and that's not

36:42

fair. So I get that, and I

36:44

and I I'm sorry about that,

36:46

and I love you.

36:48

And I'm sorry about that.

36:48

That's Okay, so yeah,

36:51

okay, what about you and take another one.

36:54

It'll be the last one.

36:55

Okay. What did

36:57

this conversation teach you about our

36:59

relationship? What did it teach you about

37:01

yourself?

37:03

Hmmm?

37:06

It taught me about our relationship

37:09

that that we're in a

37:11

really good place that I'm

37:13

very proud of us. It

37:15

taught me that there's

37:17

always room to grow, that

37:23

I continue to learn more about myself and

37:28

things that I want to work on for

37:30

the betterment of our relationship. And

37:34

I love having these conversations with you because I

37:36

have the deepest conversations with you about

37:38

our relationship and things that have nothing to do

37:40

with our relationship, and I always learn something and

37:44

I'm just grateful. It taught me to just be grateful

37:46

for the person that I have in front of me and

37:51

to just continue on this path

37:54

that we're on.

37:54

That's what That's what.

37:55

It taught me. That because

38:00

because I've said this before last

38:02

time, but we really talk

38:05

to each other like this every day, and

38:07

for me, what it's making me kind of realize

38:09

is like how normal

38:12

it is in our relationship that we have these conversations

38:14

a lot, because I don't feel like

38:16

pressure around them. I don't feel scared

38:18

around them, but obviously

38:20

today we're doing it on your

38:22

podcast, so now it made me see

38:24

it different where I'm like, what is there to

38:27

be scared of because or nervous because we do

38:29

this. We do this every day and

38:32

these conversations are how

38:35

they go, and you know, I think it's

38:37

something that is

38:39

so it's such a benefit

38:42

for relationships. And I think if

38:45

more people were more comfortable

38:47

with speaking to their partners in

38:50

a calm manner and actually listening,

38:52

a lot of things can be resolved. And I think that's why

38:54

we've been able to have so much growth.

38:56

Absolutely, I agree,

38:59

yeah, you and I love this

39:01

conversation. And I love my podcast because

39:04

I'm able to just be vulnerable and share

39:06

and be transparent with people and help

39:09

other people through my

39:11

experiences, through our experiences.

39:14

And thank you for being open

39:16

enough to be on this podcast again

39:20

and taking me with everything that I do, because

39:22

it's not just my podcast. I do quite a bit and you

39:24

freaking are awesome. You're fucking trooper man.

39:27

Thanks And I'm cool with you, like you know, shooting.

39:29

Sexy ass girls, you know, and I'm cool

39:31

with it. And it's okay because you love me.

39:34

I love you so much and you show me every

39:36

day.

39:36

Yes, I do. So you want to kiss me? Or no? Oh

39:43

sorry dude?

39:45

God?

39:50

Nice? Nice? Anyways, you guys. Anyways,

39:53

you guys, here's my mic.

39:54

Thank you for joining us on this

39:57

episode of Cheeky's and Chill catch

39:59

me on the one babe. Anything you want

40:01

to tell anybody before we go?

40:03

No, thank you for having me. I'm glad we were able to do this.

40:05

And if anyone

40:07

ever has questions for us, we love

40:10

to help people. We love to help relationships,

40:12

and for sure it's something that we're really passionate

40:14

about. So yeah, if we can help other

40:16

people, you know, I love that, that'd be great.

40:18

I think we will one day, some way, somehow. I feel it.

40:21

Nice.

40:22

Peace out, guys, I love you so much.

40:29

This is a production of iHeartRadio and

40:31

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40:33

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40:36

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40:39

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