Trust is essential in healthy relationships, yet it is shattered by betrayal. Rebuilding that broken trust can feel impossible. In this episode, Alana tackles head-on the messy complexities around trust after betrayal. She offers insight into power imbalances, avoiding the dangerous “floating saint” trap, boundary setting, embracing imperfection, and more. With patience, help, and healing, you can learn to trust again.

Listen to learn:

• How power differentials play into trust

• How an understanding of betrayal violence can give you a framework for thinking about trust

• What a “floating saint” is and how this can unintentionally create more mistrust 

• The role of authenticity when working to cultivate trust

Referenced in this episode:

• Past episodes on trust: Trusting Yourself First and Building Trust in the Relationship

• What is Betrayal Violence? - Past episode with Hope Ray from the Betrayal Violence Institute

• “Are You On the Coaster?” - YouTube video from Dr. Jake Porter

• Past episodes on boundaries: Beginning Boundaries Starting With Me, Boundaries and Why I Must Own My Reality, and Boundaries and Non-Negotiables

Coming Up!

• Help.Her.Heal - This course helps men learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Participants will receive weekly exercises and worksheets to help them gain the skills needed to begin healing a broken relationship. Two sessions will be beginning soon. Learn more about the course and register HERE.

More from Choose Recovery Services

• Choose Healing - Betrayal Trauma Support for Women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma, and is free for the first 6 weeks.

• Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn key principles, tools, and concepts that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, and finding joy once again.

• Healing Hearts - This 15-week couples course is a comprehensive program designed for early-recovery and healing couples to learn and experience valuable insights together. It focuses on partner betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues or addiction.

• ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - Hali Roderick leads a betrayal trauma support group for men who have been betrayed where they can gain tools and resources to recover from betrayal trauma in a healthy way while being surrounded by a supportive community.

• Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors.

• Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

• Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

• Choosing to Stay Webinar - Hali Roderick teaches this free monthly webinar for couples choosing to stay together after infidelity.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Connect with us on Social Media:

Alana Gordon - MFTIntern, CCPS-C

Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee

Choose Recovery Services