0:00

Hey, thanks a lot for listening to this program,

0:02

Chris Fabry Live. Want to let you know

0:05

that in the program, you're going to hear music

0:07

that we've had to edit out

0:09

for copyright reasons

0:11

and restrictions. We cannot play those

0:13

songs for you. So thank you for understanding.

0:22

Welcome to the radio backyard

0:24

fence today on Chris Fabry Live.

0:26

We're going back to a conversation we

0:29

had last summer. He had a dream

0:31

moved to Nashville saying country music.

0:34

God had another plan. He

0:36

had an addiction. It had him in a

0:38

prison locked up tight. God

0:41

gave him the key to freedom. He

0:43

says he didn't find God. God

0:45

found him. And so today

0:47

at the radio backyard fence, you're going to hear

0:49

the story and the music of

0:51

a man named Ben Fuller. You haven't

0:54

heard this conversation. Oh, it's going

0:56

to be a little encouraging

0:58

for you today, especially if

1:00

there's somebody in your life who's going down a road,

1:02

you know, is a dead end. Hope

1:04

you'll stay with us today. You're going to hear some dated

1:07

information. Uh,

1:09

I talk about an upcoming concert. Yeah, that

1:11

kind of thing from last summer. Disregard

1:13

that. Or a phone number

1:15

or anything like that, but enjoy the

1:17

conversation we have for you. Straight

1:19

ahead at the back fence. Thanks to those

1:21

behind the scenes, Ryan McConaughey is

1:24

our engineer doing all things technical.

1:26

Tricia's our producer, and

1:28

thank you for making these conversations possible.

1:30

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find out how you can be a back fence partner

2:00

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2:02

Fabry live org or

2:04

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2:10

and you'll see how you can support

2:12

us that way. 866 95

2:15

Fabry. This conversation

2:18

happened in June of 2023.

2:20

We're rearing it today, and I want you to

2:22

hear Ben Fuller's story.

2:25

Here's a song that shares the painful,

2:27

beautiful truth about his

2:29

life. It's titled He Found

2:31

Me. Singer songwriter Ben

2:34

Fuller grew up in Vermont, moved

2:36

to Nashville, and he sings different

2:38

songs than he thought he was going to.

2:40

His debut album, released last September,

2:42

who I am. We have a link

2:44

to his website at Chris Fabri Live. Org.

2:47

Ben, welcome to the program. How are you doing today?

2:50

Praise God I

2:53

uh, Chris, I just,

2:56

uh, sometimes I forget

2:58

how powerful uh,

3:00

the music is. Yeah. And,

3:03

uh, that that song just really reminded

3:06

me of of where I've come from.

3:08

And, uh, so thank you for

3:10

thank you for choosing that song. Thank you for playing that

3:12

song. It, uh, just hit me

3:14

sitting here.

3:16

That that was my first question. When you hear

3:18

that or when you sing it, what goes on the inside?

3:20

So it does it take you back to

3:22

what you went through?

3:24

It almost. Um, I

3:27

think more so shows me

3:29

where I am now and

3:31

it and instead of really dwelling on

3:33

the past and, um,

3:35

you know, those few opening lines, you

3:37

know, the amount of

3:39

struggles that I've had with

3:41

addiction and and all the rest,

3:44

it just I think that song is just

3:46

like anthemic. And the fact

3:48

that, you know, the Lord has brought me

3:50

out all that stuff. It's like, here I am,

3:52

you know, it's because he. Because he found

3:54

me, because I accepted, I accepted

3:57

this beautiful offer that that he

3:59

proposed.

4:00

So you know what I heard as

4:02

I was listening to that, because I used to do a

4:04

very early on when I was a kid, I was doing

4:06

country radio and playing all of these, you know,

4:08

in the 70s, all of these songs.

4:11

And, um, there's not a whole lot

4:13

of forgiveness in country music, you

4:15

know, there's not a whole lot of of

4:18

turning the other cheek. There's

4:20

a lot of fighting and drinking and there's,

4:22

you know, all of this stuff. But I remember Johnny Paycheck,

4:24

there was a there's just this anger

4:27

and this defiance about the man,

4:29

you know, take this job and, you know, that

4:31

kind of stuff. Yeah. And in that

4:33

song that we just played, I

4:36

heard the same power

4:38

in, you know, that that they sing

4:40

in country music. But there was a different

4:43

turn. There's a different tone in it.

4:45

There is mercy and grace

4:47

and forgiveness and and praise.

4:50

Yeah, yeah. I think that's the

4:52

coolest part about the fact that, um,

4:54

you know, I grew up on all that,

4:57

you know, I grew up on all that, that country music.

4:59

And so, um, I think

5:01

the coolest thing is just like realizing

5:05

that I had to sing for him and that now I

5:07

can I can still keep all those pieces

5:09

and parts of the country music that, that I

5:11

grew up on and that I love. But it just,

5:13

I have to sing for Jesus.

5:15

That's Ben Fuller on today's

5:18

edition of Chris Fabri Live Don't Call

5:20

Us. Our program is recorded. This is

5:22

from the summer of 2023.

5:25

When we first met Ben, we. I

5:27

first got to hear some of his music. Maybe

5:29

you're hearing it for the very first time today.

5:31

Don't miss our next segment because

5:34

there's real transformation that

5:36

is coming up. You'll hear more

5:38

right here on Chris Fabry Live and

5:40

Moody Radio. Talking

5:51

with singer songwriter Ben Fuller today at the

5:53

Back Fence, his debut album, who I

5:55

am. Released a few months

5:57

ago. You find out more about him,

6:00

where he's going to

6:02

be touring. He was with the Casting Crowns

6:04

tour recently, as well as Zac Williams,

6:07

and I want to go. I want you to take us

6:09

back to the farm. You told me before we went on

6:11

the air that it was a dairy farm. There

6:13

were 175 Holsteins

6:15

that you were working with your

6:17

dad. What did you learn on the farm

6:20

that still you hang on to

6:23

hard work?

6:25

Um, I really think that, you know, being the

6:27

only son, um,

6:29

you know, my dad relied a lot upon

6:32

me to to to pick

6:34

up, pick up the other end of,

6:36

uh, of the hay bales, you know, and so I,

6:38

uh, I worked I worked a lot.

6:40

And I think that that hard work really,

6:43

um, stuck with me throughout the years.

6:46

And, uh, was the driving

6:48

force behind, um,

6:50

and still is behind this career.

6:53

Um, because it is it is a lot of work.

6:55

And, um, but honestly,

6:57

I look at it in some respects as, boy,

6:59

that I'll get into a hard situation

7:01

and I go, well, I've been in harder,

7:04

you know, I've been in manure or up

7:06

to my, up, up to my knees before, you know,

7:08

it's I'm kind of like, well, it's

7:10

this is tough, but I've been in tougher.

7:12

Yes. And part of that

7:14

tough was 14.5

7:17

years. Is that, is that how long

7:20

you were. You're hooked one level

7:22

or another.

7:23

Yeah. Yeah

7:25

I started when I was about 18 and,

7:28

um, you know, I got introduced to cocaine

7:30

and alcohol and, uh,

7:33

just to, to just very dangerous

7:36

drugs that, um, allowed me

7:38

to become numb and allowed me

7:40

to just, um, escape,

7:42

to be honest, escape, um, the

7:44

tough relationship that I had with my father and,

7:47

uh, you know, I didn't I didn't I could use that

7:49

to sort of not face, um,

7:52

problems. And in my life, and I

7:54

and I would just, um, disappear.

7:57

Were you still working on the farm in

7:59

the middle of all that?

8:01

Yeah. So I, I left the farm

8:03

and went to college. Um, in,

8:06

uh, 2005,

8:09

I graduated high school,

8:11

and, uh, I went to, to college

8:13

for landscape design and,

8:15

uh, ornamental horticulture. And so I

8:17

fell in love with, with trees and shrubs

8:19

and, um, uh,

8:21

stonework. Uh, and so I,

8:23

I was a stonemason, along with all that,

8:26

too, and just, just enjoyed being outside

8:28

and working with my hands. Um, so I left

8:30

the farm, um, at that age, but,

8:32

yeah, it just became a thing. I was,

8:35

uh, I was functioning, Chris,

8:37

you know, and it was like I could work 60

8:39

hour weeks, um, on

8:42

a landscape crew, and then I could. But I could

8:44

go home every night and drink myself

8:46

to sleep, and. And that's what I did.

8:49

So in 2015,

8:52

you decided, you know, so.

8:54

So if you graduated in oh five.

8:57

Fast forward ten years

9:00

and you're in the middle of this

9:02

downward spiral. And

9:04

I've heard that we talked about this yesterday. I've heard people

9:06

say I had to hit bottom in

9:08

order to really see. Did that

9:10

happen for you?

9:12

Yeah. I mean, there were several times that I,

9:15

I knew that I was very close

9:17

to to overdosing. Um,

9:19

that, that I would just

9:21

use too much and, you know, felt

9:24

just I felt it coming and I, and

9:26

I remember in some of those moments

9:28

earnestly praying,

9:31

God save me, don't let me

9:33

die. Um, and,

9:35

and I think the thing about that

9:38

for me is Vermont, where I grew

9:40

up, is 2% Christian. And

9:43

I never went to church, but for

9:45

funerals and weddings. And so

9:47

this, you know, I didn't know

9:49

who God was. I don't I didn't know

9:51

Jesus was was simply just a swear word

9:53

in my mouth. And so I

9:56

didn't know, but I, I

9:58

know in those moments I was calling out,

10:01

um, desperately calling out for

10:03

help.

10:05

So you didn't know what you didn't know, but

10:07

you still you still were calling out.

10:10

There was a friend that you lost in

10:12

2017. That was one

10:14

of the low points, I would assume.

10:16

Yeah, yeah. Um, Ryan

10:19

and I, you know, were best friends for

10:21

ten years, and he,

10:23

um, you know, he struggled with the same kind of

10:25

things that I did with my father.

10:28

And, uh, they're they're they're

10:31

our dads are tough guys. And,

10:33

uh, they were raised by tough men

10:35

as well, and I. And

10:37

I don't blame, um,

10:40

either of them for the way that they,

10:43

uh, treated us, because that's just what they knew.

10:45

That's that's that's how they were raised. They

10:47

they they knew hard work and

10:50

they knew discipline, and

10:52

they didn't know emotion and feelings

10:54

and saying, I love you. Um, and

10:57

really, really, truly, you know, listening

10:59

and meaning it. Um, and

11:01

so I, after losing Ryan,

11:04

um, to to heroin, you

11:06

know, I, um,

11:08

I really struggled a lot

11:10

with the fact that, um, I

11:12

should put these drugs down and I should stop

11:15

drinking. Um, but that

11:17

still didn't. It wasn't enough.

11:21

Um.

11:22

Let me fast forward because when you say

11:24

I watched a video yesterday of you and Zach

11:26

Williams, and Zach has a

11:28

similar story in background

11:31

to yours. Uh, so

11:33

I'd love to be a fly on the wall as you

11:35

guys just sit down and talk about

11:37

life. Um, but he

11:39

has you sing the second

11:41

verse of this song. Can you

11:43

tell us that story?

11:45

Yeah. So, uh, I

11:47

can't really. This is this is fast forwarding

11:49

to accept in Christ. And, um,

11:52

I got a phone call from

11:54

Zach, and I thought it

11:56

was a joke. Like, I honestly thought it was

11:58

a kind of a hoax. Uh,

12:01

but it wasn't. And the record label

12:03

had nothing to do with it, and nobody had

12:05

anything to do with it besides God. And,

12:07

uh, he said, I put I've got some lyrics

12:09

that I've written down and I'd

12:11

like to write a song with you. And

12:13

so we wrote a song and,

12:16

um, I, I

12:18

just really fell in love

12:20

with Zach and. And his heart and his story.

12:23

And it wasn't long after, I think maybe

12:25

three weeks, three weeks past that,

12:27

he said, uh, hey, do you want to go on tour with me

12:29

this fall? And,

12:31

uh, I said, well, you know, I said,

12:33

let me check. Let me check with my. Yes.

12:36

Uh, and so I, I was direct

12:38

I was direct support for,

12:40

for Zach Williams. You know, it was his first year

12:42

Christian artist. And

12:45

it's like, I'm I'm praising God

12:47

with my whole heart, you know, every

12:49

day. And I'm just like, you're kidding me. This

12:52

is this is amazing. More than I could

12:54

ask or imagine, right?

12:56

I mean, the Bible talks about that. And so,

12:59

uh, he he came to me with a song and he said, hey,

13:01

I've got this song that I wrote with with Walker

13:03

Hayes, the country country artist Walker

13:05

Hayes, and it's called Jesus's Fault.

13:07

And, uh, he said, what do you think about

13:09

it? And so I heard it and, um,

13:12

you know, I told my old man that I loved him

13:14

today. Um, and he said

13:16

it back before he drove away, and

13:19

the lyrics just smacked me in the face

13:21

because of the struggle that I've had with my father.

13:24

And I think what Zach didn't

13:26

know is, is every time I get off

13:28

the phone with my dad, I

13:30

say, I love you. And,

13:32

uh, he doesn't say it back. And,

13:36

um, it really

13:39

we we were we were

13:41

singing the song. I think it was the third city

13:43

of of of his tour. And

13:46

I got a text from my dad that

13:49

said, I love you. And,

13:52

uh, and it just. And it just wrecked

13:54

me because that's just not

13:56

something that my, my dad says,

13:58

you know.

13:59

Well, there's a picture on your website

14:01

of your dad sent of

14:04

your mom on Easter, sent a picture of your

14:07

dad with his hands raised,

14:09

you know, happy Easter or something like

14:11

that. I mean, it sounds like there's been a change

14:13

in him, too.

14:14

Yeah, he they went to church

14:17

on Easter Sunday, and

14:19

so I, you know, it,

14:21

uh, it's amazing

14:23

how we talked a little bit earlier

14:25

about, um, you know, addiction

14:28

and, um, the struggles of

14:30

people that are in addiction and wanting

14:32

people to change and to come out

14:34

of that. And what I found is,

14:37

you know, my dad never struggled with any addiction

14:39

like that or anything. Um, but

14:41

but what I even praying for somebody

14:43

salvation. It's so hard

14:45

because you want the change to happen and you're like,

14:48

you're like, please, you know, just and and you

14:50

can try everything in your power

14:52

to stop that person from using drugs

14:55

or stop that person to put the bottle

14:57

down. But you really you can't. And

14:59

what I've found is, like with my dad,

15:01

um, just fixing my

15:03

eyes on Christ, my

15:06

eyes on Jesus. I'm

15:08

walking my faith out. And

15:10

by doing that, my dad has been watching

15:12

and my friends have been watching. And my,

15:15

my, my mom's been watching. My sister.

15:17

Everybody's been watching me, and they're like, what are

15:19

you doing? And they're

15:21

just seeing the success, and they're seeing the love

15:23

and they're seeing the, the, the

15:25

light and the joy. And

15:28

they're like, well, maybe there's something to this,

15:30

but not once am I throwing the Bible

15:33

in their face or begging them to give their life

15:35

to Christ. And I don't need to do that. And

15:37

I and I think I have so much peace about it that

15:39

I'm just going to walk out my own faith.

15:42

Well, they're seeing freedom.

15:45

Um, and they're intuiting,

15:48

uh, abundant life. You know, Jesus

15:51

said, I came to give life and give it abundantly.

15:53

And you didn't have that

15:55

before. Before you know it.

15:57

And and the drugs and the alcohol

15:59

numb the pain and, let's be

16:01

honest, gives you the feeling for

16:04

a while and until it doesn't.

16:06

Right.

16:07

That's right. Yeah. Because it's never enough.

16:10

And that's just what it is. And this is perfect setup

16:12

because this goes right into my favorite, my

16:14

favorite scripture. And it's John

16:16

six and Jesus

16:19

is I think it's first 66.

16:21

And Jesus is talking about all the people that have gone

16:23

astray and all the people that have taken different

16:25

paths and different roads and different trails.

16:27

And he looks at his 12 disciples and he says,

16:30

are you guys going to go to. And

16:32

Peter is my favorite because I

16:34

resonate with Peter so much because of how much I've denied

16:37

Christ. And,

16:39

um. Peter looks up at Jesus and he

16:41

says, my Lord, to whom else shall we go? And

16:44

I've run out of places and things to

16:47

go. There's just and and I think

16:49

that's the beauty about what this, this

16:51

Christ, this this, this joy,

16:53

this gospel, this God

16:56

that I found is that I've tried

16:58

everything. And

17:00

and it all runs out. And

17:03

and like, my dad's favorite thing to

17:05

tell me is he used to tell me this because he saw

17:07

how much I was drinking. And

17:09

I don't think he quite ever knew the problem that

17:11

I had with it. But he always said

17:13

to me, and I'll never forget, he always said to me, Budweiser

17:15

is going to keep making beer. And

17:18

and that's it. And and and there's so

17:20

much truth in that is like that stuff. Is

17:22

there going to it's just never going to be enough. They're always

17:24

going to make more. It's always going to be and

17:26

it will never satisfy. Um,

17:29

and so that that scripture

17:31

has become um, my

17:33

favorite. Yeah. To whom else shall we go?

17:36

Um, back up then. So

17:39

you decide to go

17:41

to Nashville partly because of the music

17:43

you learn guitar in college, I think I

17:45

read, yeah. Um, yeah. So in you're

17:47

probably as you're singing since you were a kid

17:50

and you're singing to the cows. And so you

17:52

just think, well, why not have them paying me for

17:54

this? Uh, right. So you moved to

17:56

Nashville, but not just for the music

17:58

thing. My guess is you want a fresh

18:00

start. You want to. You want to

18:02

start over again? Is that true?

18:04

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

18:06

I, um, I got here in 2018

18:10

and, you know, moved down

18:12

for country music and, uh, so

18:14

I just, I said, you know, and

18:16

I think the funny thing is I kind of moved down here

18:19

in spite of so many people

18:21

because I've

18:23

always been home, I've always been

18:25

in Vermont. I've always been such a homebody,

18:29

and and I and I never, never

18:31

we never really had time for vacations.

18:33

And, um, so I never really

18:35

traveled. And so I was terrified,

18:38

you know, to come down here and then

18:40

and then to get here, uh,

18:42

and to see every star from

18:44

every single hometown. I

18:47

was like, I was just like, I

18:49

almost ran home with my tail. I think, you know, who

18:51

else did I think Garth Brooks did? Garth

18:54

Brooks moved to town. I think he said he was. I

18:56

watched the documentary. He was so scared. He

18:58

he he left, he went back, he

19:00

went, I think Oklahoma. He went back home. And,

19:03

uh, and for a little bit and it's like

19:05

I had that same feeling. I was just like, I can't

19:07

compete with these people down here. There's way

19:10

better music, way better singers, way better.

19:13

So, uh, honestly, it was it was

19:15

terrifying. I was I was terrified

19:17

for for quite a while. Oh, yeah.

19:20

Somebody invited you

19:22

to go with them on a Sunday, though.

19:25

Tell me that.

19:26

Yeah. So I sang. I got a job

19:28

at working at Tootsie's and, uh,

19:30

the famous honky tonk, and,

19:32

um, I remember for the first time

19:34

I sent a picture to my dad, you know,

19:37

and, uh, he he said how proud

19:39

he was of me. And it was like the first,

19:42

first time of really feeling like this.

19:44

This affirmation of my dad is

19:46

really proud of me. For what? For what I've

19:48

done. And and, um, I

19:51

got so tired, uh, in a very

19:53

short amount of time, uh, directly

19:55

not long after that of, like, what am

19:57

I doing? And, um, so

20:00

I was drinking and driving, you know, home

20:02

from from Broadway every day

20:04

and, uh, 26 minutes to to

20:06

Cool Springs, um, and,

20:09

uh, just south of just south of town.

20:12

And, uh, God had moved

20:14

a family from Vermont all

20:16

the way down here to to Franklin,

20:19

Tennessee. And,

20:21

uh, a year and a half before I got here and

20:23

they called me up. I was on my way home. It was the fall

20:25

of 2019, and they called me up and they said,

20:27

hey, Ben, do you want to come over for

20:29

for dinner? And I said,

20:32

sure. I mean, only a fool turns down a free meal,

20:34

you know? And so I, I,

20:36

uh, I said, sure, why not? And so I went over

20:38

for this meal and, uh, they have a beautiful

20:41

house and a beautiful, uh,

20:43

family. And,

20:45

uh, the kids were running around and and

20:47

I remember at the end of the meal, they asked

20:49

me if I would go to church with them

20:51

the next morning. It was a Saturday night,

20:54

and, uh, I was raised like, somebody

20:56

does something nice for you. You do something nice back,

20:58

you know? And it's sort of like this,

21:00

I'll pay you back kind of thing. And so

21:03

I said, yes, you know, I, I owe them for

21:05

this meal that they've given me. And,

21:08

uh, so I went to

21:11

church of the city. Um,

21:13

that following morning in the fall

21:15

of 2019. And,

21:18

uh, I just remember

21:21

hearing the music, and

21:23

I remember how I felt in that moment,

21:26

and it rocked

21:28

me. But it was the kind of music that that

21:31

goes into your chest and doesn't come out,

21:33

and it just filled. It just literally

21:36

filled me up in every way possible.

21:38

And I tell people that

21:40

if they would have caught a photo of me

21:42

standing in the aisle of

21:44

that auditorium, 2000 people, you

21:46

know, I'd never heard the gospel before. I'd never

21:49

have no idea. But God used the music

21:51

to draw me in. And I tell people if they saw me

21:53

stand in that aisle way. In that moment,

21:55

John Redick and Chris McCartney were leading

21:57

worship. Um, that

22:00

my feet would have been off the ground, there's no

22:02

doubt about it. And, and

22:04

I, I think in that

22:06

moment, Chris, I

22:08

felt higher than

22:11

I've ever been. And

22:13

I think what I couldn't get my

22:16

my hand, I couldn't wrap my mind around

22:19

is that it was free. And

22:22

I didn't have to spend any money and I didn't

22:24

have to do a dirty deal, and I didn't

22:27

have to drive drunk, and I didn't have to feel

22:29

guilty or ashamed

22:31

afterwards, waking up the next morning wondering

22:33

why.

22:34

That was the moment.

22:37

Then that thing changed

22:39

for you. And that's where the music comes

22:41

from now, and in our

22:43

next segment, I want you to hear his song

22:46

who I am. That

22:48

really describes a little bit more of

22:50

this journey that Ben Fuller has been on.

22:52

If you want to find out more about him, go to the website

22:54

Chris Fabry Live for

22:57

more with band Straight Ahead on Moody

22:59

Radio. This

23:12

is Chris Fabry live on Moody Radio. Thanks

23:15

for tuning in. Our program is recorded.

23:17

Don't call us today. Hope you're enjoying

23:19

Ben Fuller's story. We'll get right back

23:21

to it. First, a note of thanks to

23:23

the people at CNet for their

23:25

365

23:27

day a year pro Abundant

23:30

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23:32

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23:36

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23:40

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some encouragement that you need to get

23:47

go to Chris Fabry live or

23:49

click the green connect button,

23:52

because they are offering a 40 day

23:54

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23:56

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24:01

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24:03

of Hope devotional today. Go

24:06

to Chris Fabry Live org and

24:08

click the green cabinet button.

24:11

So they invited Ben Fuller to

24:13

dinner. They invited him to church. He heard

24:15

the gospel. Ben, what happened

24:17

to the addiction?

24:18

Yeah. You know, I, I feel like,

24:21

um, I attended,

24:24

um, several types of meetings and stuff

24:26

prior to all of this. Um,

24:28

and I think the one common thing that I found

24:31

was even at different locations

24:33

and different organizations

24:36

is that I kept swirling around,

24:39

um, my addiction. I kept swirling

24:41

around, um, all the things

24:43

that I had done wrong and sort of identified

24:46

with me as an addict and

24:48

identified as, um,

24:50

with the drugs and with the alcohol.

24:53

The change that happened at

24:56

church of the City in Franklin

24:58

for me, was I identified

25:00

with Christ for the first time,

25:02

and I identified, um,

25:05

as a child of the Most

25:07

High God. And I identified with Jesus.

25:10

And, um, within

25:13

two months, I mean, I was I was drinking

25:15

15 to 19

25:17

beers a night, whatever, you know,

25:19

and I was just drinking myself

25:21

to sleep. And over

25:23

the next two months. Um, after

25:25

experiencing the Holy Spirit and

25:27

and and experiencing the gospel

25:30

and saying, God

25:32

help me and

25:35

and not saying it with my mouth,

25:37

but saying it with my heart. Uh,

25:41

my beers went from 19

25:43

to 12 to ten to 8 to

25:46

2 to. I don't even like the taste of alcohol

25:48

anymore. To the swearing,

25:52

uh, left my mouth to,

25:55

um, you know, relationships running

25:57

around, uh, promiscuous. Everything

26:00

stopped, and and I

26:02

felt this conviction inside is I can't be. I

26:04

can't be doing this anymore. I can't be doing. And Christ

26:07

had been awakened in me. And

26:09

and it took me a minute to kind of realize all

26:11

these things. And to be honest with you, I kind

26:13

of felt like Jim Carrey and Liar, Liar.

26:15

And as I, you know, I'm kind of like, the pen

26:18

is blue and I'm trying to

26:20

draw on my face and I'm like, what

26:22

is happening? I'm melting inside

26:25

and I'm turning into this brand

26:27

new man. And I realized that that,

26:29

that, that change

26:32

in me happened because I identified with

26:34

Christ for the first time. And and

26:36

the name of Jesus no longer was

26:38

just a swearword in my mouth.

26:40

So what Ben Fuller has

26:42

just described is the antithesis

26:45

of what most people feel like Christianity

26:47

really is. They think Christianity is rules.

26:49

You got to go to church, you got to do this, you got

26:51

to dress this way, and you can't do that, and you can't

26:53

do that. A list of rules

26:56

and regulations. But that's not it.

26:58

It's transformation. That's

27:00

what God wants to give you and me,

27:02

to transform us from the inside

27:04

out to the likeness of his son.

27:07

And that's what who I am is all

27:09

about. You

27:11

were made for more. I think

27:14

that's one of the things that just stuck

27:16

with me as I listened again right there. Ben.

27:19

And the other thing is, he left no stone

27:21

unturned because

27:24

I'm adding this. He rolled the stone

27:26

away. You know, he was powerful.

27:28

His love was powerful enough to roll

27:30

the stone away. And that resurrection

27:33

power is what can

27:35

now infuses you and

27:37

everything that you do right?

27:40

Yeah.

27:40

Amen. You gave

27:42

up everything for me to have

27:45

everything. And I think that's the

27:47

that's my favorite part of that

27:49

song. Who I am is that

27:51

he gave up everything for me. And when

27:53

I realized it, and when I

27:55

realized what he's done for me, um,

27:58

nobody's ever done anything like that for me

28:00

before. And I don't think anybody

28:02

and maybe, maybe nobody ever will.

28:04

It really hit me. And,

28:06

uh. And I realized that, um,

28:09

for real, you know, and that's. And I think

28:11

that that's what, uh, what?

28:13

When I accepted him and said, okay,

28:15

Jesus, I believe you. I believe in you.

28:17

And, you know, knock and

28:20

the door shall be opened and asking, you

28:22

shall receive all these things

28:24

will be added onto you. And I just and

28:26

I've seen it. I'm just, you know,

28:29

I'm watching it happen real time

28:31

and and it still continues to blow my mind.

28:33

But there are people who will say,

28:36

and it may be an addiction or it may just be,

28:39

uh, something in their life that they

28:41

can't get a, you know, get rid

28:43

of. And they'll think, well, I'm going

28:45

to turn my life over to God, but I need to clean

28:47

myself up before I

28:50

do that. What do you say to that person?

28:52

I'm here to say I'm living. I'm living

28:54

proof that that's not the case. And,

28:57

um, that that's not what happened to me.

29:00

And that he met me exactly where I am.

29:03

Exactly where I was lying on the

29:05

floor, ready to ready

29:07

to overdose, thinking I was going to die.

29:10

I had just flushed the drugs down the toilet.

29:12

I promised I'd never have any more

29:14

alcohol. I tried, I swore

29:17

up and down I'd never do it again. And all these things. And

29:19

guess what? I did it again. And

29:21

I did it again. And I did it again. And,

29:24

uh, his love and his kindness and his

29:26

mercy and his grace were poured

29:28

upon me. And and it is every single

29:30

day. And, uh, I think

29:32

that the thing that I want everybody else to know

29:35

also is that I'm so far from

29:37

perfect. And I think that being vulnerable

29:39

and being raw and being real,

29:42

um, the fact that I still struggle, the fact that I

29:45

get depressed, the fact that the devil

29:47

came from my life before the

29:49

Casting Crowns tour started,

29:51

uh, just about 12 weeks ago, he came

29:53

from my life again and tried to tell

29:55

me that my songs don't mean anything, and that

29:57

that I'm not a good writer and that that

29:59

my voice isn't even that good. And

30:01

he got me on my knees and he almost had

30:04

me. And I realized that the written

30:06

word of God is the only thing that can make the devil

30:08

flee. And, uh, so

30:10

I, I, I, I'm guilty of not

30:12

getting in my Bible enough. And

30:14

so I've just been, you know, again, I'm so

30:16

far from perfect. And I think that I

30:18

know that he'll meet you exactly

30:20

where you're at.

30:22

Yes.

30:23

Because. Because

30:25

the the dirty little secret that the enemy

30:27

doesn't want you to know is

30:29

that God's love

30:31

and forgiveness is available right now.

30:34

And that transformation. I

30:36

can hear it in your voice. There's

30:38

there's a difference in the

30:40

Ben Fuller I'm talking to today and the Ben

30:42

Fuller, you know, from ten years

30:44

ago. There's a radical difference.

30:46

And the only way that you can describe that is

30:49

the work of God in his life.

30:51

So one final segment to go,

30:53

I want you to hear one more song because I think this

30:55

will speak to you or give you encouragement

30:58

if there's somebody in your life that

31:00

you're thinking about, oh, I wish they could hear.

31:03

Ben, I want you to hear

31:05

his song Chasing

31:07

Rebels straight ahead on Moody Radio.

31:18

I hope you hear the hope coming through the radio

31:21

today. And that's brought

31:23

to you by friends and partners. We can't

31:25

be here without those who get behind us.

31:27

So thanks a lot for your support. Just

31:29

go to the web website, Chris for live.

31:32

Org and you can see how you can support

31:34

us if you haven't reached out in a while,

31:36

do that today. So

31:38

Ben Fuller, we just played who I am.

31:41

You write your own songs. You write

31:43

with other people. I saw an interview

31:45

with you talking about writers rounds.

31:48

Describe what it's like to write

31:50

songs alone or write them with other people.

31:53

Yeah. Um, I think the coolest thing

31:56

about what has happened, especially

31:58

just in my life with, with songwriting,

32:00

is when I,

32:03

uh, signed the record deal and the

32:05

Christian side of Sony comes along and,

32:07

and they just say, we want to help you. They put

32:09

me in the room with, um, so

32:12

many incredibly talented,

32:14

gifted, godly people.

32:17

And so I just started honestly telling my story

32:19

and pouring my heart out. Um,

32:21

and it's super cool because everybody's gifts

32:23

are just just a tad bit different.

32:25

And, um, it was really

32:28

awesome to be able to honestly

32:30

go in the room with just, hey, this is heavy

32:32

on my heart today. Or,

32:34

uh, this is kind of what I was feeling on the way

32:37

in or last night. Um,

32:39

I think the, the most important part is,

32:41

um, every songwriter that I was a part of,

32:44

um, somebody would pray and we

32:46

would just ask God for the words,

32:49

you know, Lord, what would you like

32:52

to say? And and how

32:54

can we best steward this

32:56

gift and these gifts that

32:59

you've given us? And so

33:01

I, I just honestly and everybody's so

33:03

different. It was so cool to hear the songs

33:05

that came out of the rooms. And I

33:07

wrote 117 songs and seven

33:09

months, uh, when I signed

33:12

it, it was 20, 2020. Between

33:14

2021 and 2022.

33:17

Um, so we're still there's still a lot of songs

33:19

to be heard.

33:20

Chris so I

33:22

love it.

33:23

I'm glad. When is your next album?

33:25

Are you working on that now?

33:26

Yeah, so we've got I can

33:28

uh, we've got about um, we've

33:31

got like a deluxe, uh,

33:34

edition, like an additional five

33:36

songs that are going to be, uh, coming

33:38

out this fall. And I'm really, really

33:40

excited. Um, it'll be an addition

33:42

to the who I am album, and,

33:45

uh, I've got just I can't wait for people

33:47

to hear, um, some of

33:49

the stuff that we've been working on and, uh, we've

33:51

been playing some of these songs live,

33:54

um, and, uh, so, so

33:56

some of the people I'm like, hey, when's that song coming out?

33:58

Um, and so that so this

34:00

fall, um, all of them will

34:03

be out. So I'm excited, uh,

34:05

really excited for that.

34:07

I really wanted, I don't know,

34:09

uh, who's going to be touched by this,

34:12

but I really believe there's somebody that needs

34:14

to hear chasing rebels

34:16

today. Why don't you listen this song

34:18

from Ben Fuller? I

34:21

wanted to play that song today. Because

34:24

maybe there's somebody who's listening. And

34:26

your present is

34:28

Ben's past. And

34:31

this program, this conversation

34:33

and the music that you've heard is

34:35

evidence of that unrelenting

34:38

savior. You've got a messy canvas

34:40

of your life that

34:43

it can be turned into a messy canvas

34:45

of God's mercy. Ben, what do you

34:47

say to the person who says, yeah,

34:49

that's me.

34:52

Uh, well, I was just reading this again.

34:54

Psalm 63. Because thy loving

34:56

kindness is better than life. My

34:59

lips shall praise thee. Thus

35:02

will I bless thee while I live.

35:04

I will lift up my hands in

35:07

thy name. The name

35:09

of Jesus was a swear word in

35:11

my mouth, and I had no

35:13

idea who he was. And

35:15

if somebody would have asked me if

35:18

I was going to be praising God, if I was going to be singing

35:20

about Jesus Christ for the rest

35:22

of my life, I would have laughed

35:24

at them four years ago. And

35:27

so I know that he has done great work

35:29

inside me, and I believe that

35:32

for anybody who's listening right now, I know

35:34

that he can do anything

35:36

because he's did everything. He's done

35:38

everything for me.

35:41

I am so glad that we got to have

35:43

this time together here on the program.

35:45

And let me just say, if that's where you are

35:48

and you say, okay, well, what do I do?

35:50

Text the word gospel to

35:53

800 609 624,

35:56

and we'll send you a link where you can see

35:58

exactly the steps to take to

36:00

to surrender your life to God,

36:02

to receive his mercy, to receive

36:04

that resurrection power in your own

36:06

life. Text the word gospel

36:09

to (800) 600-9624.

36:13

And thank you, Ben, for

36:16

for being honest and open. And I ask our

36:18

listeners, you know, as you're as you're touring

36:20

and you're singing and all that and the temptations

36:23

that are out there, or the enemy that's whispering

36:25

in your ear to pray for real power,

36:27

uh, resurrection power in your own life

36:30

to continue. And you hang

36:32

in there and you keep writing those songs and come

36:34

back real soon, okay? I thank

36:37

Ben Fuller, our guest today. If you want to find out more

36:39

about him, we have a link at the website Chris Fabry

36:41

Live for who I

36:44

am. Came out in September.

36:46

There's a new edition of that coming out in the fall.

36:48

We'll tell you more about that when it happens.

36:50

Hope this has been an encouragement. If

36:52

you're praying for a band in your own life,

36:54

don't you dare stop you hang in there. You

36:56

keep praying. Chris Fabry lives for

36:58

production of Moody Radio, a ministry

37:01

of Moody Bible Institute.