Hold your breaths: it’s episode twenty (thousand) leagues under the sea! THIS episode finds Charlie learning the art of fencing while Ari confronts his literal identity crisis. In the course of our usual gib-gab, we look back at our evolutionar

19 | Quoility Cointoint! ("Got Milk?" Is a Military Misinformation Campaign)

Sep 17th, 2019 28m 24s

Don't it always seem to go? You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. That's right, denizens, it's our nineteenth ep—the last of our teen years! THIS episode finds us shamelessly slinging our merch by the side of the road as we finally tur

18 | Not Flex and Chill (Renaissance Faires Are Overcompensating for Real Life Tragedies)

Sep 10th, 2019 30m 24s

Well, we can finally buy lottery tickets and join the army, 'cause we're EIGHTEEN, y'all! Eighteen episodes old...imagine! THIS episode finds us hiding out from Ari's angry, hungry cat (whose name we remember the whole time) as we get into the

17 | will.i.am. Dafriend (Escape Rooms Are Training Us to Do Battle)

Aug 20th, 2019 35m 57s

We learned the truth at seventeen...or did we??! You'll have to listen to find out! THIS episode, we find ourselves trapped in the ultimate liminal space—an abandoned Applebees's with a rather...puzzling...layout. As we solve our way through th

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ANNOUNCEMENT: Okay so we really do have new episodes that we will start posting weekly very, very soon.

Aug 10th, 2019 51s

What the title says! Support the show

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ANNOUNCEMENT: Back in a few weeks!!!!

Jul 5th, 2019 3m 40s

Hello, fearless denizens of the Galaxy! The deep-voiced samaritan from our last episode returns to use his distinctly NOT-professional-grade equipment to update you on the show. TL;DL WE ARE SORRY for the delay! We have a bunch of episodes reco

16 | The Grapes of Wrath of Khan (Rich People Are Satyrs)

Jun 18th, 2019 25m 11s

Sixteen Candles: a film that has aged...poorly? A trait which the sixteenth episode of our podcast will NOT be sharing! THIS episode, we return to our roots at the neighborhood lemonade stand, where we bemoan the generational failings of the yo

15 | Occam’s Famous Razor (Almost Every Working Artist Is J.K. Rowling)

Jun 11th, 2019 23m 41s

Look out, world: episode fifteen’s here to take names! THIS episode finds us positioned in an abandoned laser tag establishment with an extremely puzzling backstory. After Ari takes an earth-shattering phone call, we turn our powers of deductio

14 | Life of Cry (The Brothers Grimm Were Assassinated by the Fast Food Industry)

Jun 4th, 2019 31m 2s

Halleluja! Praise episode fourteen in all its glorious, intricate nonsense! THIS episode, Charlie deals with vicarious grief as we wait in the longest fast food line of all time...little knowing that directly beneath us lies a cave of vast cons

13 | Fair-In-Heights Nein/Elephant (The Circus Is Fighting an Endless Holy War)

May 28th, 2019 26m 40s

Sure, love is all you need in this dark, cruel world, but why not give episode thirteen a chance to make you happy, too? THIS episode, a casual story told by Charlie during an exclusive premiere of the newest Christopher Nolan feature sends us

12 | Marco, Frodo! (Weather Is Malevolent)

May 21st, 2019 28m 20s

CLANG! The clock strikes midnight as we reach our groundbreaking twelfth episode! On THIS episode, we unpack our first-ever meet-up of all the fearless denizens of the Galaxy, which occurred this past weekend at Charlie's food truck built on th

11 | Hôtel de l'France (Reincarnation Is a Byproduct of a Great Galactic Resource War)

May 14th, 2019 30m 32s

Episode eleven BOO!!!! Did we scare you? THIS episode takes place in the renown Hôtel de l'France just outside the swamplands of Louisiana, where we decide to let our guards down and dive into our earliest childhood memories. The rabbit hole of

10 | What Even IS Endgame?! (Ms. Frizzle Is an Incarnation of Loki, the Norse God)

May 10th, 2019 26m 12s

Batten down the hatches, denizens, we've hit our tenth episode! THIS episode finds your humble hosts and galactic interpreters ensconced with a mysterious librarian as we decipher the theologic roots of the Magic School Bus. What we uncover has

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ANNOUNCEMENT: Episode Delay!

May 7th, 2019 1m 7s

The ghost of Vultron the Vulture Man returns to inform the denizens of an unfortunate episode delay this week, due to technical difficulties. Ep 10 is expected to drop this Friday. Thanks for your patience! Ca-caawwwww!Support the show

9 | Hashbag Sean Bean (Animals in Human Skin-suits Have Corporatized America)

Apr 30th, 2019 25m 51s

Good morning, denizens. We hope you slept well...'cause once you listen to episode nine of this podcast, your slumber will grow fitful, plagued with anxieties! THIS episode, we return to form as Charlie processes the death of his favorite Romeo

8 | Pushy Riot (This Podcast Has Gone Completely off the Rails!)

Apr 23rd, 2019 20m 40s

In this, our eighth episode, we take a break from our Galactic explorations, instead turning our keen investigative powers inward to answer the crucial question: what the heck is even going on with this podcast? Charlie fights to keep the fun a

7 | Colonel Blue (The Galaxy Is Trying to Kill You)

Apr 16th, 2019 24m 32s

Tremble, denizens, for episode seven is here to consume you all! THIS episode finds Ari and Charlie on the run from a veritable legion of enemies, bent on destroying this podcast and burying the truth for good. Our theory this week involves Mur

Bonus

BONUS—ORIGINAL PILOT EP: Who Watches "Watchmen"? (All Art Is Propaganda)

Apr 9th, 2019 19m 57s

Whew! What a crazy couple of weeks, huh? Ari got turned into a robot, incurred the wrath of his father, the Shoe King of the North, and had his whole brain coated in pizza grease. Charlie almost died, went on a multidimensional dry-cleaning ven

6 | Men Who Like to Tinker (Car Mechanics Aren't Human)

Apr 2nd, 2019 34m 40s

DISCLAIMER: We try to design every episode to stand, if not entirely on its own, close enough that its comprehensibility isn't contingent on listening to previous episodes; but this, our sixth episode, heavily references what could be loosely c

5 | Clearly Cerberus (Waldo of "Where's Waldo?" Is The Grim Reaper)

Mar 26th, 2019 27m 11s

We've reached episode five...and not a moment too soon! THIS episode, Charlie confronts Ari about his ongoing transformation, before detailing a hair-raising encounter with an oddly familiar face. We discuss the lore behind the classic children

4 | We Eat What We Reap (Pigeons Are Systematically Ruining Our Lives)

Mar 19th, 2019 23m 44s

If three's a crowd, what are we to make of this, our fourth episode? THIS episode, we take a stab at making our podcast more accessible to casual listeners, before launching into our biggest topic yet: the cursed alliance our species has made w

3 | Pagliacci the Hippie (People and Objects Are Switching Universes, Continually)

Mar 12th, 2019 18m 24s

Episode three has come, denizens—and She is beautiful and terrible indeed. THIS episode, we get a little more personal, as Charlie processes the (literal) ghosts of his past, and Ari details his difficult yet relatable transition from boy to ma

2 | The Old Man and the Sea of Applause (Audience Behavior Is Being Secretly Influenced)

Mar 5th, 2019 20m 48s

Rejoice, denizens, for episode two is upon ye! THIS episode, we take a deep-dive into the niche intersection of sociology and the theatrical arts, attempting to figure out just what nebulous forces are driving our species to put our hands toget

1 | Sisyphus's Mystery Machine (Scooby-doo Is a Robot)

Feb 26th, 2019 22m 24s

Welcome, denizens, to our first official episode! THIS episode, we dissect the Scooby-doo canon for clues as to what the creators REALLY intended. What we found may shatter the very foundation of our society. With tie-ins to MK-Ultra and the Vi

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