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Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!

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Music.

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Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!

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Chomp! Music.

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Okay, it's over. All right, everybody. Welcome back to another exciting podcast of

0:46

Citizen Friend. Brian, you know, I let Trevor pick these next films because I'm a kind heart.

0:54

Let's get that out of the way. I said, you know what? We'll do.

0:58

And I knew even asking to pick three films, Wicker Man was going to be on the top list.

1:05

I read reviews on it. I've never seen it. I've seen the Nicolas Cage one, which is terrible.

1:12

And so I was just curious, because this is like a 7.5 on IMDb, beloved.

1:19

It has rave reviews. No one really tried to touch it or do sequels to it.

1:24

There's one called The Wicker Tree. I think the director tried to do some kind of different version of it.

1:29

The Wicker Tree's not very good at all. Yeah. Well, it shows this man's talentless.

1:35

So, whoa. He's a one-trick pony. He's a novelist in his main career. He's a novelist.

1:41

This is his first time directing. The man's name is Robin Hardy. He's a one-hit wonder.

1:47

But, yeah, you know, it's in it. We talked about this with Hereditary,

1:52

The Witch, even The Lighthouse.

1:56

We talk about these occult kind of films.

2:00

I don't know if The Lighthouse would be actually up there, But,

2:03

you know, Rosemary's Baby, you know, all these kind of films.

2:08

And the reason I think this movie, The Worker Man, is successful is because

2:13

it came out right at the right time.

2:15

During a time where Hollywood was changing up gears and cinema was getting a

2:20

little more darker and bleaker with Rosemary's Baby leading the way and then

2:24

so forth in Texas and The Last House on the Left.

2:27

These all came out, Exorcist, all these came out at the same time.

2:30

So I think it landed at the right time.

2:35

And everyone's really into these.

2:39

And now, to this day, there's a resurgence for this occult horror kind of stuff. Folklore.

2:45

Folklore. Okay, perfect. Like we mentioned with Eggers and so forth,

2:51

these new directors who are going this route and fucking trees and fucking old people.

2:56

Mermaids. Don't forget the mermaids. Oh, the mermaids.

3:00

But I don't get it. So that's the problem I have.

3:03

I don't like occult movies. I'm not into it. It's just stupid voodoo and worshiping

3:09

pagan gods and all this crap. I'm not really – it's not my thing, so I wouldn't be fair to judge The Work of Magic.

3:16

I'm going to be honest with you on that because I, from an outsider,

3:21

I'm telling you now, this is one of the worst films I've ever seen,

3:24

and I'm holding my cards to this.

3:28

It is terrible, and I'm going to – and this is me actually being serious,

3:34

folks. Folks, I need some guidance through this, please.

3:39

I'm not going to go in shit like the lighthouse because that was just bullshit movie.

3:44

This has something everyone is saying but me.

3:47

Okay. I mean, this is so fucking hokey and stupid.

3:52

I was literally waiting for H&R Puff and stuff or the Teletubbies to show up.

4:02

So i have some good news for you i am

4:05

here to be your guide to be your lord somers

4:08

isle you know me i will keep you right you mean share that's in this and explain

4:15

to you the errors of your ways i this i'm a complete opposite end of the spectrum

4:20

here this to me is one of the greatest British films and horror films ever made.

4:27

I mean, technically, there's no supernatural elements in this film.

4:30

Technically, you could argue that it's not even a horror film, but we'll get to it.

4:35

Now, the only kind of, I think to me, cult films, movies about the occult,

4:41

they were their best in the 80s. In the 80s, you had quite a bit of this.

4:46

And it was more balls to the wall, but it was also, I might as well say it,

4:51

They're a little more spoon-fed. When these are like, what the fuck am I? Am I dreaming? What the fuck? Am I high?

4:59

That was definitely what this film was about or something.

5:02

But we had Serpent in the Rainbow by Wes Craven, which is brilliant.

5:05

You guys need to see it. We might get to it. And then The Believers with Martin Sheen.

5:09

Those two films are really good, and they're scary and creepy.

5:12

Have you ever seen that one called, it's from around 1970, called Blood on Satan's

5:18

Claw? It's a British one. Heard of it, though.

5:20

Yeah, yeah, well, it would be part of that whole British tradition of what is

5:25

now known as folk horror. It's more of, now the phrase folk horror is, it was coined more in more recent years by Mark Gatiss.

5:33

So, but it's been around. I mean, you've like Witchfinder General with,

5:38

you know, Vincent Price and stuff. And, you know, it's been around for quite a while. But, you know,

5:43

it's only in recent years it's been known as folk horror.

5:46

You know you even have that ari aster film

5:49

from a few years ago which i did not like at all midsummer which

5:52

it's basically a a remake an inferior remake of the wicker man to me but so

5:58

the whole but there's a there's a long british tradition even come back to the

6:02

hammers and stuff of this what is now known as folk horror yeah yeah well let's

6:08

just jump into it and we'll see.

6:12

Seymour, you're wrong. Yes, no problem. We've got the great,

6:15

great Edward Woodward, who I like.

6:18

I'm going to call him the equalizer because I wish I was watching the equalizer. So we'll call him that.

6:23

Otherwise, he plays Sergeant Howdy, the great Christopher Lee,

6:26

Lord Summer's Isle, the beautiful, beautiful Britt Eklund, the Bond girl,

6:30

who also was in the same film as Christopher Lee in James Bond.

6:35

Yes. The man with the golden gun. One of my favorite Bonds. Diane Salento. Miss Rose, you've got Ingrid Pitt,

6:41

beautiful librarian, Lindsay Kitts as Alder, and Aubrey Morris,

6:45

the very disturbing and creepy gravedigger. Yeah. We open up in April 29th, Sunday, April 29th, 1973.

6:55

Now, is Sergeant Howdy, he's not a priest or anything on the side.

6:59

He's just giving a sermon. He's just helping. No, he is a very straight-laced,

7:06

Protestant sort of Christian.

7:10

So he's basically, you know, he would very much be that sort of strict Presbyterian type of Christian.

7:18

And, you know, obviously that sets up the great conflict with the... Yes.

7:22

And of all the shit this film is, there's a jelly bean in it.

7:27

Remember I always say that? You always try to find the jelly bean in pieces of shit.

7:32

You always try. You do, Trevor. Always those B-bad movies, you always try to

7:36

find some good silver lining. The gold dust? Yeah, I have maybe something.

7:42

Go ahead. And it's that conflict. But we'll get to it.

7:46

So let's start off with the terrible, terrible music in this film.

7:50

Wow. The play sequence when he's flying...

7:54

We get this terrible, terrible song called Corn Rigs or something.

7:59

And it's like, Corn Rigs and Barley. Never forget the happy night.

8:05

I was like, what the fuck is this shit? Do you not think, though, that it adds to the complete weirdness?

8:12

This is basically a musical. Yes, it is. There's like 13 diegetic songs here

8:18

within it. And they're terrible. They're terrible. How do you How can you sit there How can you sit there And

8:28

watch this I can see people getting enjoyment out of it Because it is I will say this,

8:34

I was not bored So you got me there There you go How does people call this.

8:42

Terrifying How? I would say more to stop than terrifying Well

8:48

it's basically The ending essentially and hard all

8:51

sort of works out but especially that absolute

8:54

shocker of an ending and it's totally anti-hollywood

8:57

ending which we'll get to but regarding the music i

9:00

mean it is an acquired taste i mean i remember whenever last year there was

9:04

a 50th anniversary screening of the worker man that i went to see i've seen

9:08

it multiple times over the years but i then reviewed it on my radio show and

9:13

i played some of this music on my radio show and a lot of people were saying

9:17

to me you you know, like I say, that

9:19

included my own mother, who was saying awful music, you know,

9:22

all that there, but and I get that, I get that, it's not for everyone,

9:25

it's not casual listening, but what I would say in terms of... It's not listening.

9:29

Yeah, in context of the film, it adds to the general folky weirdness of it.

9:36

I just wanted to end my life. And then... You wanted to be burnt out of work, I'm not. Yeah,

9:41

I was the fucking wicker man. So, you got these old bastards in the the boatyard. Yeah, the Farty Mountain

9:49

stuff. Yeah, they're just being obnoxious. Here we are. Here we go.

9:52

Trees and old people. Here we

9:55

go. And then you got the fucking corn rigs playing again. It wouldn't end.

10:00

I mean, fucking hell, stop with the music. There's other songs come,

10:04

but there's other belters of songs that come later on.

10:10

But the Maypole and stuff. So he's there to find the missing child.

10:15

And we all know it's a set up. Yes. She's never been missing.

10:20

They're there just to lure him. Why do they pick him?

10:23

Well, it's explained later on because basically due to their beliefs,

10:27

Whenever he's in the library reading about their beliefs, it's explained that

10:31

they're basically to have a bountiful harvest.

10:34

They need a man who is a fool connected to royalty, i.e. the police,

10:40

you know, Her Majesty's sort of police force, but also a fool,

10:44

which he becomes during the May Day Parade.

10:46

But also, more importantly, a virgin, which goes back to his straight laced.

10:52

There's there's different versions of this film with additional

10:54

scenes where there's these guys like making fun

10:57

of him because basically that his wife and

11:01

he explains it himself later on where he doesn't believe in sex before

11:04

marriage so he refuses to have sex with

11:07

his wife he's engaged by the way to be married and so

11:10

because of his strict christian beliefs he has

11:14

by his own choice be a virgin so it's

11:17

basically at the end a virgin sacrifice that is

11:20

why he is lured but also the whole sort of food thing

11:23

that he becomes in the parade and also you

11:26

know that there's like a man who would be keen but that's

11:29

to do with him being part of her majesty's police

11:32

force and so that explains the scene where

11:35

this the horrible scene where brick

11:38

at like willow is next door to his room slapping her ass and playing barbers

11:43

with her ass and he's trying not to be enticed over there yes he is he's literally

11:50

sweating and he's tempted he's so tempted and stuff Willow's trying to save his life.

11:56

Yes yeah very much so in a way he's right to the brink of his basically dick,

12:05

for want of a better word in 10 seconds. Tell me about it you know what I mean oh by the way just a bit of sort of a

12:14

bit of a fact about it that's actually she was actually pregnant at the time,

12:18

so that's actually an arse double for her.

12:21

Yeah. Either way, it was a stupid scene, but okay. Now it makes sense.

12:26

But a very erotic scene. No, it wasn't.

12:28

It was not. She's hot, but... I'll give you only after saying yourself you'd

12:32

be in there in 10 seconds. Well, it's Britt Eklund. I mean, she's beautiful, but that has nothing to do with the execution.

12:37

She ended up doing pantomime in Belfast. What?

12:41

Britt Eklund ended up doing pantomime in Belfast, on the Grand Opera House. Wow.

12:47

Great. So there you go. Yeah. Yeah, then the music starts. And then we get this montage.

12:54

So, the owner of the... He goes to this green bar.

12:59

The green man bar. And he walks in there and he's checking in because he's going to stay there.

13:06

Fucking music. I was like, am I watching MTV? What the fuck?

13:13

MTV is a little bit more rocky. I wish I was watching MTV.

13:19

If they played this on MTV, yeah yeah the

13:22

landlord's daughter and which is a really sort of

13:25

creepy song actually in terms of like listen

13:29

to them you know they're talking about how they all basically and the landlord

13:31

himself is singing it so it's like they're

13:34

all basically talking about how they've all had her and shagged her yeah i

13:38

know and there's even a scene where we're first introduced

13:41

to dracula right and he

13:45

yes he brings a little boy

13:48

to britt ecklund willow's window and he goes

13:51

to shagger yes what the fuck man you think

13:54

this is yes and that's not what we're getting to the

13:57

children dance where the naked girls yeah

14:00

and i mean girls now obviously you can tell they're women playing the

14:03

parts because they can't so naked girls but they

14:05

technically are supposed to be yes this is pretty

14:09

sick shit dude there's no

14:12

well it has its basis it has

14:15

its basis in sort of paganism.

14:18

Where it's so from the sort

14:21

of point of view of that i'm not fucking defending it by

14:24

the way from but from the point of view of this sort of pagan cult

14:27

it's all about basically sex

14:31

and rebirth and nature and all this

14:34

sort of thing even the stuff where they're talking in

14:37

the school where the teacher's basically talking about

14:40

the phallic symbols and the phallic symbols everywhere in

14:43

this film so there is and the teachers andy and

14:45

edward woodward bursts in and says that i am going to report you to the proper

14:49

authorities you know for basically teaching them smut in school you know but

14:55

he's right yeah i know but it's it's in terms of the script it's the conflict

15:01

of straight-laced Christianity against,

15:05

sexual... No, there's no... Okay, that's no against.

15:07

That's my point. He is completely right. This is illegal.

15:10

Yes, I know. This is illegal. If you had all... I'm gonna root for these people. Yeah.

15:16

You're not a normal human being. Yeah, I'm not rooting for them.

15:20

I'm sort of... But, you know, Harry, because it's a brilliantly written and

15:24

played character, is quite sort of... Although you sort of agree with him,

15:28

he's He wouldn't be great fun at a party, Harry.

15:31

No, he's a douche. The character's unlikable.

15:34

But that's one thing the film gets right. Yes. Because I have nothing but respect

15:39

for this character at his final. Yes.

15:42

Because he sticks to his guns the whole way through. Yeah, there's a fucking scene where...

15:48

Easy-eating steak or something, and then there's these vegetables that look

15:52

very sharp, you know, very clean and very vivid.

15:56

And the colors. And he says, well, raw beans don't usually have this natural color of turquoise.

16:03

Yes. Willow says something like, well, anything in their natural state have the vivid colors.

16:09

Yeah. Fuck? Yeah. Yes. No, because they're obsessed with all of this,

16:13

you know, the natural earth and everything that comes from the earth and rebirth

16:18

and sex and all that sort of thing.

16:21

But they've had a bad harvest the year before, so they're looking for better

16:26

sacrifices to their sun gods. After listening to about five hours of horrible folk music and horrible food,

16:32

he decides to go for a little walk.

16:35

What does he find? As you do in a graveyard, a bunch of people fucking.

16:39

Yes, and also there's like, yeah, women sitting naked on sort of tombstones

16:44

and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. We're in Rome, right? Yeah. Fucking stupid film. This is so stupid. I would have been out of there in 30 seconds.

16:55

But because he has a burden of duty to find this young girl or what he... I know, I know, I know.

17:00

And that's the character who, I mean, he's a stubborn prick himself, so he's fucked.

17:07

Because of his stubbornness. Yes. Well, I mean, he even says it himself, what you're saying.

17:11

He even says, he says you you're all there's several times in the film he says

17:15

you're all crazy you're all basically stark raving mad you know he says what

17:20

you're saying he's saying it himself you know.

17:25

Whatever. I don't know.

17:29

Christopher Lee, by the way, whenever he was alive, he considered as his best work and best villain.

17:35

Oh, this is stupid. It's his worst work.

17:38

I've seen a lot of Christopher Lee stuff. I swear to God. So pretty much Dracula

17:44

is a gigolo. That's how I know so far.

17:48

Or a pimp. Yeah. He used to have the big floral jackets and the big Big high

17:55

shoes, high boots, and with the cane, big fluffy hat.

18:00

Well, later on, he dresses as the sort of, you know, the man-woman thing. Just like Cher.

18:07

Yeah, that's for sure. So we got Dracula and Cher. We got Gigolo,

18:12

Dracula, and Cher all in one. So it's morning time, and Willow's all happy, and I guess she's going to bet you she is.

18:21

And and of course with

18:24

more music as he's doing his walkabout and what

18:28

the fuck is this you got some you got a bunch of

18:31

fucking kids tied to a tree or something

18:34

and they're all dancing as this dork in the middle is like the teacher or something

18:39

and i mean this is fucking i was my jaw was dropped at this point i was like

18:45

what the fuck how am i supposed to take this seriously And yet you're, I mean, again,

18:52

I'm the odd man out here. Everyone else is seeing magic.

18:56

You guys are seeing, oh, look at the mystical dance with the tree. And don't, don't.

19:03

I think it's more the sheer weirdness and the bonkersness of it that people

19:07

are sort of taken aback by, whereas you are like you're just hitting the floor.

19:13

Because you, like you say, you know, I think it's more from your American background as well.

19:18

You're not, you know. It's very popular in the States. That has nothing to do with it.

19:22

Yeah. You can't sit there and say Americans aren't going to get fit. That's not right.

19:25

This is a huge. I'm saying maybe some don't, you know. I'm not saying all.

19:31

Everyone in Britain, everyone in the United Kingdom, they all love it because they can relate.

19:37

No way. Are you kidding me? I think it's more.

19:41

Actually, you know what? I'm glad if you think the US don't get to be like,

19:44

what the fuck? And what's crazy Britain doing over there?

19:47

This type of folk weirdness as well and paganism and stuff is well sort of embedded

19:55

in sort of the history of the UK.

19:58

K you know working back like you know hundreds maybe

20:01

even thousands of years so people are quite sort

20:04

of that they sort of know quite a bit about this type of thing in britain i'm

20:09

not saying everyone obviously and then the same with you know you know so coming

20:13

from coming in from an outsider's point of view people you will get people who'll

20:19

say what the fuck you know and that's okay But,

20:22

you know, and again, it's more the, for me, the creepiness factor of this is

20:28

just, for me, is the general weirdness and just the sort of bizarreness, for me.

20:35

Yeah, so, yeah, I mean, if grey fucking and...

20:44

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. And cockroach torture.

20:48

I'm glad you found something in this is that you found a good yeah it's good for you.

20:56

Obviously i'm not into it myself no no no

20:59

no it's okay we'll just

21:02

move on from that there is a certain element of british and

21:05

you know not just british irish i mean all all

21:08

sort of sort of countries and societies have their

21:11

sort of folk type legends you know right across

21:14

europe and beyond even you know in asian stuff

21:17

so there is a historical context to all of this obviously it's

21:21

dramatized for the film and you know sort of ramped up but yeah i mean there

21:26

is some yeah i mean i mean there is a historical context to it all but there's

21:31

just a general weirdness and creepiness in terms of if you do consider this

21:35

a horror film which to be honest i do even though there are no supernatural elements in it,

21:40

This is part of the creepiness factor. All of this basically weird shit.

21:44

And the songs add to that even more, just the sheer bizarreness.

21:49

The equalizer finally tells what I wanted to tell these people since day one, to shut the fuck up.

21:56

He goes to school, and he sees these little fucking asshole students.

22:00

And the teacher's telling him about the dancing of the naked girls and shit.

22:04

Oh, no, no, not yet. I don't think that's there yet. Yes.

22:09

The phallic symbol. It's the phallic symbol she's talking about.

22:11

He finally goes off. You're all a bunch of fucking liars. Just shut up and listen

22:14

to what I have to say. Blah, blah. And here we go. The line that you must have had a hard-on for.

22:22

The one line you probably went, yes.

22:27

This is what this is about. This is it.

22:30

So when the librarian tells him, he mentions somebody's dead.

22:34

I don't give a fuck who it is at this point. And she goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. whoa, we don't use the word dead.

22:40

We believe life goes on into the trees.

22:45

There you are. Travers probably eating. Yes. Travers probably having a nitcher

22:50

of a soda pop and having some popcorn going, yes, it's all about the tree.

22:59

Fucking hell. It's in the tree. We talked about this.

23:03

It's in the trees. And we've talked quite a few times about trees,

23:05

for fuck's sake. Yes. And the only one who's done it well to me is the Guardian.

23:10

Remember that one we did? At least the tree did something.

23:16

Yes, I know. I was just thinking of that. I don't care about sucking babies

23:20

in and shit. That's fine. Right?

23:25

Oh, boy. Technically, the Guardian is, I mean, we discussed this on the podcast

23:30

for the Guardian, and technically it could be considered folk horror as well.

23:33

Yeah, the Guardian. I would say that. That Volcar, like I said, you have some good stuff out there,

23:38

like I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast. This isn't one of them, but it's rare for me to get into this because it's just so fucking whack.

23:48

It's wow, right? So after he fronts to school, he looks for his little walk and stops for a second.

23:55

And as you do, you see a big-breasted woman breastfeeding a child holding an egg in her hand.

23:59

That's that's standard practice that's standard practice i see that every day,

24:04

yep yep that's the weirdness jesus yep

24:07

well on summer's isle it is yeah or somewhere else sorry not somewhere's isle

24:11

somewhere else you see that how he makes a cross on the grave yes yeah oh yeah

24:17

yeah the the christianity thing yeah let's low touch actually the one through

24:22

god as he says later on. Yeah.

24:26

They're pretty much killing him for tomatoes. Or apples.

24:32

They're killing him so they can have apples. Yes, 100%. That's exactly true. Yeah.

24:38

Yeah. So they can have a more bountiful harvest because the harvest the year

24:42

before was their worst on record. Yeah, so you kill somebody so you can get better apples. Gotcha. Yeah.

24:49

Or do you like those apples? and then miss morrison mr equalizer and this this

24:56

is where it really gets fucking just fucking fuck me and then they got the pharmacist

25:01

which has a jar of foreskins as you do,

25:05

snake skins brains hearts baby piglets you've got let's not forget who literally

25:11

shoves a frog down a child's throat yeah i was just about to say it removes it what the though.

25:17

Fuck, are you people watching that I... What are you guys saying here?

25:24

Like I say, even Harry himself says, you people are stark, raving mad.

25:31

It adds to the weirdness of it big time.

25:34

And it really makes you... It really sells the fact that these people are this bonkers pagan cult.

25:42

Then he goes on a little fucking... We have the music back on. Fuck me.

25:49

I was like Jesus At least give us some Sabbath or something.

25:57

Actually that music Will probably fit Yeah

26:00

so he's doing the tour What about a Nightmare on Elm Street Rap song you know

26:05

Are you ready for Lord Summer Isle I take that may as well You guys you know

26:12

what That rap song we made fun of it the Nightmare on Elm Street But if it was

26:15

in this you'd be like Like, oh, my God, I get it.

26:19

I get it. No, you don't.

26:23

People are trying to see something that's not there. I disagree.

26:27

This guy is a one-hit wonder. Never made a film again. Well, he did actually make a sequel to this,

26:33

The Wicker Train, which wasn't very good. It's terrible. But that was like 40 years later.

26:38

Yeah, it was like 2012 or 2011 or something. So that doesn't.

26:43

Yeah, so this is where he sees the children, naked children,

26:48

by the way, dancing around. Is that Stonehenge? What the fuck is Stonehenge doing here?

26:54

Well, here, on a side note, see the sort of, would you not agree that the,

26:59

what do you call it, the actual island itself is stunningly beautiful?

27:05

You know, just, you know, the nature of it and stuff. I think they picked the

27:08

perfect sort of setting, you know, to film it.

27:11

Okay so i'm not here for a geography lesson well

27:14

you should be you know because i'm going somewhere i'll give you

27:17

one later so he does so we finally get to the castle we're gonna finally see

27:23

dracula you know yes in his cape wow and what a horrible wig well it's sort

27:31

of it was the 70s man you know i don't see it i don't see the 70s thing again

27:36

you did that for dead zone. Yeah this is where he finally says that this

27:44

is disgraceful you got children out there dancing naked and you're trying

27:47

to get them pregnant and he's like oh yeah i'm the

27:50

lord and then then there's more

27:53

fucking singing yes there's really no

27:55

dialogue here well well a lot of the

27:58

dialogue is actually in song you know or else

28:01

it's harry basically like basically telling

28:04

people off and shouting and some calling them crazy and stuff

28:07

but you know christopher lee here then as lord

28:10

summarized he then explains how it was actually his

28:13

great grandfather father who like back in the 1800s actually came to the island

28:18

and started up the cult essentially okay so he decides he's gonna leave and

28:25

yes dracula goes oh man you're gonna miss the mayday celebration and he's like

28:32

Like, I don't give a fuck. I don't care. You're a bunch of lunatics.

28:37

And this is where we get the whole willow. Yeah. Trying to urge him to have

28:43

some yum yum time. Entice him. So.

28:46

Yes. And he's really well played by Edward Rupert, actually.

28:51

You know. I'm not giving a pat.

28:53

I'm trying to find something here. Think. Let me think. Yeah. I'll say this.

28:59

All the actors involved had balls. to do this movie.

29:05

I'll give him credit for willing to participate.

29:12

Edward Rupert I think is superb in it, I think he totally steals the show,

29:16

I know and that's my point as bad as this film is Christopher Lee breaks his

29:21

A game and Edward Woodward breaks his A game,

29:25

Britt Eklund is just there for come on we know why, she's dubbed as well actually, is she?

29:31

Any dialogue that Willow says is not actually her saying it.

29:35

It's dubbed. Yeah, because she's... Where's she from? She's Scandinavian. Scandinavian. Oh, and Ingrid's the sweetest actress.

29:44

Yeah, but she's using her real voice. Yeah, you can tell. You can hear the accent. Yes.

29:49

Yes. No, and listen, everyone... How do I say?

29:52

Everyone in this film is committed, even though how fucking batshit crazy it is. They're committed.

29:59

No, kind of like Hereditary. Yes. Hereditary, you had Tony Collette's best performance

30:04

of all time is in Hereditary. She should have gotten nominated for an Oscar.

30:08

But that ending is so shit that it just destroyed it.

30:13

But the acting was there.

30:16

And the acting's there. Edward Woodward's a great actor. We all know that.

30:20

Yeah. And we all know how much we like Christopher Lee. Yeah.

30:24

So I applaud them. I do applaud them.

30:27

And to piggyback on the scenery.

30:31

That can't be accomplished without a good cinematographer, so they obviously

30:34

hired the right man for that. Yes. All right, let's go back to tearing it apart now. No, I'm not tearing it apart. You are.

30:43

So he decides he's done because he thinks the child is going to be sacrificed at this point.

30:48

So he thinks the child is the sacrifice and not him.

30:52

By the way, he hasn't a clue about their plans for him. Yeah,

30:56

of course. At this point. Yeah. He's kind of stupid. I mean, he sabotages his plane. I would have taken a boat

31:03

in two seconds to get out of there. He's not just stupid, he's also arrogant. Yeah.

31:11

Did you find a scene really creepy where they've hijacked his plane and you

31:15

see them peeking over the wall at him? In the fucking stupid masks? I thought that was stupid.

31:20

Now, if this was done, not for laughs, because this was done for laughs, right?

31:25

No, it wasn't. Oh, no. This is played dead straight, this entire film. It is.

31:30

No, no. No, no, no, no, no. This is played dead straight from start to finish.

31:36

This isn't a comedy. I'm serious. Oh, fuck. Of course it is.

31:41

I am not taking a pick on the piss. No. I thought the whole thing was a comedy.

31:44

And then the very end, they turn it up and kind of make it disturbing when he gets burned. So.

31:50

No, no. Well, it does. It's certainly not a comedy, but it does sort of lure

31:54

you into this sort of weird,

31:57

bizarre world world where you think they're just like sort of they're a bit

32:02

crazy but then it takes a real dark edge with you know the finale.

32:08

With a burn them alive basically, You know, it's actually a really good sort of, you know, twist where you find

32:15

out that, well, you see the girl, you know, up at the caves and stuff,

32:17

and she basically, she's in on it with them.

32:20

You said something, I can't remember what podcast it was, but once you know

32:25

the twist, does this movie have any replay value?

32:28

How many times have you seen this film?

32:31

Oh, I would say a lot. It's, you're talking double figures, like,

32:35

I don't know exactly, but it still has an extreme power, especially the finale.

32:41

For me. It's a completely anti-Hollywood finale. You know, there's no rescue,

32:46

there's no, it's just, it's quite shocking. Why are you saying anti-Hollywood? What is with you with anti-Hollywood?

32:54

If it had to be a Hollywood film. No, no, I know why.

32:57

Yes, I'm not talking about all Hollywood films, but generally,

33:00

there was no sort of helicopters there to save the day and rescue them, you know.

33:05

There was no happy ending. There's plenty of dark, dark, disturbing, that.

33:09

Midnight Cowboy, one of the most depressing films of all time,

33:11

came out wrong at the same time. I know that.

33:14

I know that, but I'm just saying in general terms there's no Disney ending where

33:19

it basically he gets rescued.

33:21

Yeah, because that never happens in English films. I gotcha.

33:25

Well, it's extremely bleak and harrowing and shocking. It's not.

33:30

Because you've already taken me out. It is to me. Okay, so you got the parade, right?

33:34

And he's dressed up as a gesture, whatever the fuck he is.

33:37

Yeah that's where it becomes he becomes the clown the

33:40

joker yes and you have a share there now

33:43

he's now shared the lord is

33:46

now shared yes and there's i'm with family babe i got you babe or something

33:52

but again we got a musical and we got the fake beheading and then we got you

33:58

know it just and then he figures out it's a trap just to get him on those clips yeah,

34:04

It's his Admiral Ackbar moment. It's a trap. You know, this is where the film

34:09

gets a pass for me, and this is it.

34:12

Otherwise, it's terrible, is the character didn't break character.

34:18

He stuck to his guns. He didn't beg for, please save me. I'll join your cult,

34:23

like most of us probably would do. He didn't. Yeah.

34:28

Yeah, this sounds great, guys. Let me go to the tree and dance around it. I'm up for that. You want me to have

34:34

sex with Willow? You want me to have sex with Brett Eklund? Oh, yeah.

34:37

Actually, I would have failed that test.

34:41

They'd be like, fuck, get him off the island, the horny bastard. Yeah.

34:46

But I like his performance here, and I like how he does not give up.

34:52

And he's burning alive. He's praying for himself.

34:55

So I like he- Did you notice- What?

34:58

Sorry, did you notice as well that at the very beginning, certainly in most cuts of this film,

35:03

he is reading psalm 23 and

35:07

then very ironically he's also when he's

35:10

burning alive in the wicker man he also returns to psalm 23 and he's singing

35:14

it basically or screaming it you know you know so i thought that was a very

35:19

good touch there's a certain irony about that you know you got this moment where

35:23

he's burning and he's you know praying to himself and into god and so forth yes,

35:29

what a better way to ruin the whole scene by breaking it into a fucking song again.

35:36

Again adds to the creepiness factor where they're all swinging their arms and dancing and singing,

35:41

Christopher Lee's in a dress and they're all happy and

35:44

it's a great sort of juxtapose where they're all

35:47

happy and singing because they believe in their brainwashed

35:50

crazy minds that they're going to be now having apples you

35:54

know apples are on the menu you again i mean that place better have some good

35:58

fucking apple pie right but yeah so they're sort of singing they're all happy

36:04

and singing and dancing and waving their arms and and um meanwhile edward bootwork

36:09

is being literally burnt alive i wish i was in there too with them,

36:15

i'm not gonna get this over with yeah yeah i don't i don't i i honestly don't

36:21

get it i I remember I texted you and I said, well, didn't I say something like, is this a...

36:25

Yeah, is this a musical? Is this a comedy? I think we were like,

36:28

yeah, yeah. I mean, you know what? You don't have to get, you don't have to

36:32

like it. You know what I mean? That's okay. You know what I mean? You know, each to their own.

36:37

But I'll go back to Edward Rupert. I did, like you say, I did like,

36:40

and it's very in keeping with the character because he's so arrogant and quite

36:44

pompous that he doesn't give into them, you know, even if it means being burnt alive.

36:50

Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. Yep. I have nothing else to add.

36:55

I got nothing. I just want to go home.

37:00

I want to go watch Die Hard or something. Well, you know, to me,

37:04

it's, you know, yeah, it's crazy, but that's all part of the effect of it.

37:09

You know, the whole bizarreness and the surrealness and the craziness of this cult.

37:15

To me, that makes it even more disturbing, especially whenever we get to the finale.

37:19

Alley to me it is one of the greatest sort

37:22

of horror films but also british films not for

37:26

everyone i you know not everyone will like it

37:28

you know and there's certainly sort of weird creepy elements

37:32

that if it was the real world yes indeed certainly illegal

37:35

and certainly totally you know unacceptable but that

37:39

just adds to the sort of the sort of

37:42

insanity of this cult and cults are are insane to

37:45

be fair yeah let's go with that yeah

37:48

okay gosh what's up next jesus i i almost want to put mine in there just to

37:54

cleanse the palate to um to to to ensure for a brighter harvest on the next

38:03

citizen frame like me well that's a nice apples,

38:07

The next one up we're going to be doing is a little independent film,

38:11

a revenge thriller, sort of, kind of.

38:13

I can't remember it, but it does have Paddy Constantine in it,

38:16

who I really like, and it's going to be Dead Man's Shoes.

38:19

So I think we'll get back to – I don't think there's any trees in this one, so it might be okay.

38:26

Well, it's very much a pretty sort of grim sort of – yeah.

38:31

There's no cults. There's no trees, you know, sadly.

38:35

All right. So there you go. Well, that'd be the next one, and then I'll pepper

38:40

one in to put a smile on people's faces and just enjoy listening to this rather than being depressed.

38:47

All right, guys. The new issue of Phantasm Gloria is out now.

38:51

It's available on Amazon worldwide and Forbidden Planet locally here in Belfast

38:55

and among other stores within the US.

38:59

Yep. Our Hail Razor special. Hail Razor special. Give us a shout if you want us.

39:04

Whatever. whatever if you thought you love the wicker man or if you have my

39:07

back on the wicker man but yeah a lot of people like this piece of crap so good

39:12

on you to each their own to each their own,

39:16

yeah reach out to us at citizen freight want to score a podcast on instagram

39:19

and of course on facebook we're going to end this one because this is easter

39:24

and oh check this out people you probably listened to the last podcast the nightmare

39:30

on elm street remake we did that's right we've We've upgraded the equipment. Oh, yes.

39:36

Hard cooler way. That's right. It is a new editing thing or something that helps

39:45

me edit and makes everything crisper and clearer. So you're welcome.

39:49

We did that for you. All right. We're wrapping this one up. Have a good Easter. Take care of yourself.