0:03

Pots Talk, Parts

0:07

Talk, punks

0:11

talk, poks

0:14

talk. I

0:18

know, I know, I said,

0:20

I'm sorry, Okay, what else you want me to

0:22

do? Build a damn rocket ship and flyer

0:24

cheese Louise Hi?

0:27

Everybody, Okays, I'm sorry. I'm

0:29

a little bit frazzled this morning because I'm way

0:32

to the studio, stuck in

0:34

traffic. I was sitting completely

0:37

still on nine ninety five, right behind the wall

0:39

wat truck for an hour and a half. I

0:41

mean, can you imagine me sitting here in my

0:44

day laundra making direct eye contact

0:46

with the picture of a steaming hotsop Broughtson. My

0:48

dog was screaming. I swear to god,

0:50

I was about four minutes from taking the flare

0:53

gun out of my emergency kid in my trunk

0:55

and robin that truck. I mean,

0:57

I would have done it anyways,

1:00

this Parks Talk. I'm doctor Needsy

1:02

Pitts, Wilmington, Delawares, number one female

1:05

obg y N and here on Parts

1:07

Talk we talk about all things

1:10

parts. I'm talking the nasty

1:12

downstairs ones and some

1:14

of the fun ones up top. What

1:19

all the highways are shut down? Because oh what he's

1:23

here. The bidens

1:25

are here. The first Family

1:27

of America is in town.

1:30

Boy, Ryan Phillippi, I think

1:32

we found today's

1:34

Biden's body. You

1:38

know, I'm upset about the traffic before, but

1:40

now I don't care. I spend the rest of my life

1:42

starving to death behind the WALLWAT truck have been

1:45

meant that the Biden's got where they needed to go. I

1:47

mean, heck, I think everyone should be put a mandatory

1:50

house rest when they're in town. Get out

1:52

of their way. They've got places

1:54

to be. Oh god,

1:56

I wonder if doctor Jill is going to have enough time

1:58

to stop at Crabby Dicks or Soft Show. She

2:01

loves those things. The Bidens

2:03

really are the Kennedy's of Bellaware,

2:05

if you think about it. I mean, heck, they're even

2:07

better than the Kennedy's, more dignified and classy,

2:10

like the Kennedy's gotten in trouble,

2:12

you know, going to Martha's vineyard and partying

2:14

with Marilyn and whatnot. But the Bidens

2:17

they're just down a robe of beach, riding

2:19

their bikes, getting again, maybe playing

2:21

a game of cards after dinner. They're like everybody

2:23

else, but so much better. Yeah.

2:27

Well, let's just say that's pretty much the most

2:29

exciting thing had happened to me all year

2:31

if you want to really think about it, I mean,

2:34

my niece's communion just doesn't compare.

2:36

Now, I'm real excited for this next segment

2:38

because it's about the people that are the backbones

2:41

of the health system and don't get hardly

2:43

enough credit. I'm talking nurses.

2:46

I love nurses so much. Honestly, if

2:48

I weren't a doctor, I would be a nurse.

2:51

Doctors are awkward mouth

2:53

breathers with serial killer handwriting,

2:56

and nurses are angels from heaven

2:58

who wears SpongeBob Scrow. So

3:01

today we're going to take a second to shout

3:03

out all the nurses who saved

3:05

my ass every day and the

3:07

things I would do for them if I had to. In

3:10

a little segment we like to call nurses,

3:15

I would die for Carla

3:19

and Pete's. I'd sell my

3:21

hair for us like gift to the Magi.

3:24

Nicole from Nanick you first

3:27

of all, great name job Combo.

3:30

You can have my car. I might need

3:32

a ride, but you can have it. Keisha,

3:35

the way you hold forceps, I'd

3:38

give you a kidney bone marrow, whatever

3:40

you need, Ellen, mortgage

3:43

my house, Tom and

3:45

Pediatrics Jack

3:48

shit, Tom, Male nurses

3:50

get a bad rep and you're not doing a good job

3:52

helping that. Oh you think you're better than

3:54

me because you have the vending machine on your floor

3:56

with the peanut butter TwixT bars. You're

3:58

not better than me. You know what she did

4:01

and arrhymes with pull my darking pace.

4:03

That's right, you stole my parking space.

4:05

Also, I saw your girlfriend once and I

4:07

could see her thong. This

4:10

has been nurses. I would

4:12

die for. Fuck you, Tom.

4:14

So let's get into today's

4:17

topic, which is sex

4:19

ed short for education.

4:22

So a lot of you use guys at home

4:24

might not know this, but to avoid spending time

4:26

in my own house, I also

4:28

do sexual education assemblies

4:30

at high schools. Yeah,

4:33

about fifteen percent of the kids have already

4:35

had children of their own, but there's

4:37

always that other eighty five percent,

4:40

and the school district is so underfunded.

4:43

They had the gym teachers teaching health

4:45

and jazz choir, so I figured

4:47

i'd take some of that off their plate. My

4:50

latest assembly left me so inspired

4:53

that I've devoted this episode to

4:55

sex ed for the utes. You

4:57

know what I always say, You're never too

5:00

much of a baby to learn how babies

5:02

are made. I mean, why wish they'd let me teach

5:04

sex? Said the kindergarteners. Now,

5:06

something they learned very early working

5:08

in schools is when talking about the body,

5:11

you cannot show the student's

5:13

pornography too. Many parents

5:16

call so as a visual

5:18

aid. I always use puppets,

5:21

And as you can see, I haven't them here. They

5:23

can't see because it's a podcast.

5:26

Well they'll get it. So this is the essential

5:29

information that I give the kids about their

5:31

changing bodies. In a segment I like

5:33

to call puberty puppets.

5:40

See this, See what he has

5:42

between his legs. That's normal,

5:45

okay, And see her these get

5:47

bigger, that's normal. They

5:49

don't get that much bigger. Normal

5:52

too. God bless us us all in different

5:54

ways. God made us all normal. See

5:57

this hair here normal? That

5:59

here there normal. The hair

6:01

there that's unsightly but technically

6:04

normal. Up to you if you ask your

6:06

parents to get that lasered off. And

6:08

when the two puppets get aroused,

6:11

this is normal. That's normal.

6:14

This goes there normal, They go here,

6:16

normal. She might go up here, guys

6:19

go down there. Same

6:21

sex couples normal normal,

6:23

normal, normal. But the

6:25

safest thing you can do is all just diddle

6:28

yourselves and tell her at least twenty five,

6:30

which, as you can see, is what the

6:32

puppets are doing right now. Okay,

6:35

well, I don't know what my producers were talking about,

6:37

because I think that went great. Everybody got

6:39

it and everybody learned something. So suck

6:42

my dick. Oh sorry,

6:44

I'm irritable this morning. I forgot to put

6:46

coffee in my wawah cuple half

6:48

and half cut

6:50

to me just sucking on cream, wondering

6:52

why I have a headache. Well,

6:56

folks, I'm so excited for our

6:58

guest this episode. She's real get

7:00

for us. She's a student at the DuPont

7:03

Chemical Junior Senior High School,

7:05

and I met her when I was teaching sex, said

7:08

there. She ended up teaching

7:10

me so much. You know, these gen

7:12

Z kids, they're so thanks smart.

7:15

When I was their age, I spent half my time

7:17

trying to figure out how to get on Jovie

7:19

tickets. I saw him five times, even

7:21

stuck backstage once. Yeah, I showed the

7:24

security guy my nipple. Can you let me

7:26

pass right by? He was a sweet

7:28

man, But joke's on him

7:30

because it wasn't my nipple. It was a grape

7:32

skittle. On a slice of pepperoni. Anyway,

7:35

please welcome to the show local

7:38

high school student and teen sex

7:40

expert Cassie. Hi,

7:44

thank you so much for having me. Oh,

7:47

Cassie, thank you so much for doing parts

7:50

talk. I have a

7:52

form that they got to email you so

7:54

your parents get permission for

7:57

you to be on here. But anyway, Cassie,

8:00

you're a teen sex expert.

8:02

Is that right? Yeah, that's correct. I

8:04

am. Everyone comes to me for um,

8:07

sex, that's

8:09

sound cool. So are they are

8:12

they asking me about the kind of sex

8:14

do you head? Or just kind of general

8:16

questions? Well, you know, some

8:18

people are coming to me to have sex with me.

8:20

Some people are asking me questions about

8:22

like sex in general. Um,

8:25

And I'm always happy to help because,

8:27

um, yeah, I just know these

8:29

things. God, Cassie, you know, I'm

8:32

proud of you and I don't even know you. So

8:35

tell me a little baby about yourself, because because

8:38

I'm thinking, gosh, you know, Cassie,

8:40

you're you're in the sex said Assembly, You're

8:42

you're speaking to the youths. You

8:45

start, you start getting up there with me on stage,

8:47

you start kind of correcting me, and

8:49

then I'm thinking, God, this squirrel Cassie.

8:52

She's so smart. I see the other

8:54

day below looking at the long Shois there

8:56

a queen. Yeah, I mean it

8:58

just to me and Orange Julius

9:00

slash Dairy Queen is the

9:03

perfect intersection of America.

9:05

To me, Orange Julius Dairy Queen

9:08

is America. So I

9:10

find it to be just like the perfect place

9:12

for me to interact with people, learn about

9:14

people, know about things. It's

9:16

just like it's really powerful actually to

9:19

be serving a smoothie. And

9:21

you know, for our listeners out there.

9:23

Cassie, she works at the Christianimal

9:26

Okay, not the Conquering Watch works, so Christianimal,

9:29

the nice one. She's a career woman. M

9:32

you know, those smoothies are so good. Turns

9:34

out I heard they're just ice cream. Is that

9:36

true? Well, I would say about

9:38

eighty percent ice cream. But what

9:41

is that if not nutrients? I

9:43

love that, and that's science. And as

9:45

a medical doctor, I can agree with

9:47

Cassie one. Um,

9:49

Cassie, how'd you get so wise?

9:54

You know? Some say that I

9:56

was kind of born that way. I

9:58

don't really remember one or two,

10:01

but uh, people would say I would

10:03

lie on my back and just sort of have these

10:05

moments where it felt like I was really

10:07

clear. I'd go someone would be asking

10:09

for keys and I couldn't even talk, and I would go

10:11

and I would find the keys. You know. So

10:14

I just I feel like I've always had this presence

10:16

inside of me. You know. I

10:19

saved my uncle who was choking one

10:21

time before he even had started

10:24

gasping for air. So,

10:27

oh my god. So you're kind of a little

10:29

freak. Not what you're

10:31

saying, You're that's I

10:34

mean freak. Wow. So the orientations

10:36

of that work, it's just, um, it's many

10:39

historied, and like you know, I think

10:41

we have to respect the surfaces performer community

10:44

when we think about the word freak. And

10:46

so that's kind of why I like, you know, you saw

10:48

me. I kind of shivered, you know, my third eyes

10:50

sort of just like went up my spine. And

10:54

you know, Kessey got to be patient with me because

10:57

I am a medical doctor and I am topping

10:59

my field in the state. But my inform a different

11:01

generation. UM, and that I

11:04

think is gen element

11:06

no P And what general

11:08

are you? Um? I you

11:10

know, I don't subscribe to the generations.

11:13

I feel intergenerational UM

11:15

personally. Okay, my next

11:18

question for you Cassie, what is

11:20

gender? And is it okay? If I say it?

11:23

You can say the word gender for sure?

11:25

That is that is

11:28

that's actually well within your right as

11:30

a doctor. UM, and I hope

11:32

thank you would personally thank

11:35

you. I've been really causing and turning around

11:37

that one, so that clarification is awesome. Uh,

11:40

Cassie, were you when you grow up? Um?

11:43

I'd love to be taller. Um,

11:45

that's my biggest goal. But if

11:48

that doesn't happen, I think

11:50

I'd love to go to Um,

11:54

I'd love to go to Bring him Young University,

11:57

Bring them Young. Yeah, that's sure.

12:00

No, it's actually in Utah.

12:03

I have like a real fascination of just kind

12:05

of understanding Mormonism. Don't

12:08

really want to become one, don't actually even want

12:10

to study that at school, but just kind

12:12

of want to dive in. And then maybe you

12:14

know, moved to Milan. Oh,

12:17

well that sounds really amazing. Um.

12:19

You know I had I had a girlfriend of mine

12:21

from a high school. She was Mormon, and

12:24

all of her brothers were smoking hot

12:27

and they all played music together. And

12:30

then when day we were at the beach and

12:32

they're all wearing long Johns under their bikinis,

12:36

you know. Now, it's an interesting culture for sure.

12:38

I'm not particularly interested in

12:40

joining, like you said, but maybe be fun to go

12:43

to college with them. Oh, now it's

12:45

time for the Q and A section

12:48

of this episode. This

12:50

week, I asked all our team listeners

12:52

to submit us questions, and I

12:54

thought that, you know, Cassie, being

12:56

the wise, beautiful, perfect daughter

12:58

that she is, should be perfect

13:00

to answer some of these questions. So, Cassie,

13:03

are you're ready to hear what the Uts of Delaware

13:05

have to say? Absolutely, I'm

13:07

ready to listen and I'm ready to

13:09

give. Well, this first question

13:12

comes from the pressingly warny. The

13:14

pressingly Horny says, my

13:16

boyfriend is on a very high dose

13:18

of Lexa pro and can only get hard once

13:21

a month. Is it possible to get pregnant

13:23

from doing its soft serve? Now,

13:27

Cassie, I gotta ask doing it soft

13:29

serve? I'm assuming that's when the boyfriend

13:31

just kind of squishes the soft

13:34

dick and balls kind of into

13:36

the vagina. Am

13:38

I am? I correct? And assuming that that's

13:41

absolutely correct? And I actually

13:43

have to say that doing it soft

13:45

serve is a really beautiful

13:47

experience. It can be really intimate

13:50

it can be really you know, sensitive

13:53

and just kind of stuffing it inside

13:56

when it's all in there and you just kind

13:58

of as the woman you're just shaking,

14:01

And that's actually can be a really pleasurable,

14:04

fun, kind of weird sort of

14:06

like what if you could put the blob

14:08

inside of you sort of experience

14:11

which I find can be really exciting.

14:15

And yes, you can get

14:17

pregnant that way. That's how my best friend got

14:19

pregnant and now she lives two tones over fascinating.

14:22

Fascinating. Yeah, Patrick, you

14:25

know, I always say to him, I wish

14:27

you'd thick was a mechanical pencil, you know,

14:29

I could just kind of press on me your racer and

14:31

then being bamboom. I'm ready to write an

14:33

essay, you know, but um pe, we're

14:36

working on it. He takes some work. Um

14:38

okay. Our next question comes from Volleyball

14:41

Star. Volleyball Star says,

14:44

my friend is dating a much older

14:47

man and I'm starting to think

14:49

he might be groom in her. What

14:51

should I do now, Cassie?

14:54

Groom in that terminology? Are we

14:56

talking like dog grooming? Like? Is he putting

14:58

little burettes in her ears and

15:00

kind of clipping the hairs next to her, but what's

15:03

grooming? Listen. I wish

15:05

he was clipping the hairs next to her, but because

15:07

you know, ladies, we have to talk about it.

15:10

They're long, all right, But I

15:12

wish that's what he was doing. But sadly, no,

15:15

he's probably a much older

15:17

wild man who is trying to

15:21

make this young girl be presentable

15:24

for him and make her think that she needs

15:26

to be with him, even though he's older and disgusting.

15:29

Probably, and probably it has like

15:31

weird old people diseases like hemorrhoids

15:34

or cancer. And okay,

15:37

next question, gritty girl.

15:39

Gritty girl says, my church mute

15:42

group is doing a Christmas

15:44

activity pageant, and our choir director

15:46

told me that I could have played the Virgin

15:49

Mary because I wouldn't be able

15:51

to relate to the character. Am I

15:53

being slutchined by my church?

15:56

I mean, ultimately, why do you even want

15:58

to play the Virgin Mary? I mean, and I

16:00

don't want to be a girl that's not immaculate

16:03

conception by some foreign

16:05

being. Uh, let it

16:07

be a little doll or whatever. It's

16:10

not your responsibility. And if you're having

16:13

sex, that's really cool. And I bet

16:15

they're just jealous the fact that they

16:17

don't get to anymore if you're a youth

16:19

pastor, I mean you practically. I

16:21

mean that is just that's just Ken

16:24

Doll all down there, Cassie. You're

16:26

so freaking woke. It's like I

16:28

feel like I was asleep my whole life and then

16:30

I hear you talk and it's like, yes,

16:32

yes, a hundred times yes. Um,

16:36

you know, I didn't even know was

16:38

Mary. I'm gonna say something crazy, okay,

16:40

and yes, And people that listen to pod

16:42

they know that I'm one hundred percent Catholic all

16:44

the way, except I don't believe in it and I

16:46

don't practice it. Was Mary

16:49

actually a virgin? Okay,

16:51

Like I'm just gonna say it because

16:54

you know, I'm an OBITCHI man, I've

16:57

seen some stuff. There's a lot

16:59

of girls that come into the office,

17:02

you know, out this year with the belly,

17:04

and they're sitting down from their moms and dads

17:07

and they're saying, I don't know what happened.

17:10

You know, I had no idea

17:12

how this came to be. Maybe

17:15

it's some miracles, you know, And

17:17

I just kind of feel like Mary.

17:20

She was a teen, she was gorgeous,

17:23

She had a flop of a husband. You

17:26

know, things kind of happened.

17:28

Yeah, I mean I think that

17:30

Mary was well within her right to enjoy

17:33

her body. And if Joseph

17:35

put a baby in her, I mean, frankly,

17:37

if I was Joseph, I would be confused.

17:39

Where did this baby come from? If not for me,

17:42

it came from God. Crazy.

17:44

It definitely looks suspicious to me. But you

17:46

know, I was never in that situation, and

17:48

I can't judge what they might have

17:50

done in Bethlehem during that time. You know,

17:53

Well, maybe you can investigate that when you're going

17:55

to college and bring them youngs. Yeah.

17:58

No, I definitely think I could. I think the Mores

18:00

have a specific view on that. I'm

18:03

really hoping I can learn a lot from them and just

18:05

how they have sex and how they help each other

18:07

have sex u and not

18:10

have sex. I should say it

18:12

will be really interesting, I think. Yeah,

18:15

for somebody as a sexually empowered

18:17

as you, Cassie, I can't wait for you to

18:19

go to bring them young university.

18:21

You know, Um, this actually reminds me of

18:23

a funny story. I actually had to deliver

18:26

a baby in a major once. H

18:28

Yeah, it was such a mess and Uh,

18:31

you know the placenta was kind of mixed

18:33

up with the hay and that you know, all

18:35

the sheeps started eating it. And I

18:37

said, hey, you know, sheeps, that

18:40

percenta is for the mom to eat. Okay,

18:44

Um, but yeah, you know that's

18:47

just gonna happen when you're out in slower

18:49

lower Dollaware people

18:51

are having babies on farms down there. Okay.

18:54

Next question, long

18:56

distance de niece. Okay

19:00

distance. Then he says, my girlfriend

19:02

is a sophomore you see Santa

19:05

Cruz, but I go to Dell Tech.

19:07

What are some ways that we can get our transcontinental

19:11

nut? Wow, that's an excellent question,

19:13

and I have an answer for

19:15

that. Um. First of all, you're gonna need

19:18

a FaceTime remote

19:20

and at least three or four

19:23

UM controllable dildos. That

19:26

would be my biggest recommendation because

19:29

you could just be sitting on it in

19:32

California and then yes,

19:35

operated in Delaware. Um.

19:38

I also up and does that happen like with

19:40

an app? Yeah? An up.

19:43

It's like I think like batteries,

19:46

um, satellites. Okay.

19:48

See now I'm not really good at technical

19:50

stuff, So Cassie, could you like kind of

19:52

set that up on my phone if I had to, because,

19:55

um, two things. Number one, I don't think

19:57

I'm getting texts anymore, and

20:00

uh, I want to change my ring tone, and I definitely

20:03

need help installing some sort

20:05

of app like that on like you

20:07

know, like a you know, I'm just

20:09

not good with phones. Oh absolutely

20:11

no, I can totally set that up for you. I've

20:14

done it for tons of my friends. I

20:16

have it myself. It's super super

20:18

easy. I will also say another way that

20:20

you can kind of connect in that way,

20:23

it's just sort of by closing your eyes

20:25

and thinking of the person. I know it sounds

20:27

crazy, but actually they can kind of

20:29

feel that you're thinking about them when you are

20:31

thinking about them, and they feel it, and then

20:33

they're thinking about you, and then you can

20:35

feel them thinking about you over there when

20:38

you're thinking about that. And what is

20:40

that? That's like? That's like a

20:42

telekinesis kind of like you

20:44

know, when you were a baby and you knew, you

20:47

know where your uncle was. You

20:49

know, is that some sort of like E T phone

20:51

home power? Um No,

20:54

I think this is a power that we all possess naturally

20:57

inside our bodies, that

20:59

we can just act with people from

21:01

a distance. We just don't let ourselves

21:04

do it. You can actually get pregnant that way too.

21:06

It's actually really crazy. Oh yeah, no, I've

21:08

seen that before. I've seen that before.

21:10

I've seen them, you know, really really

21:13

horny teenagers or

21:16

um, you know, people in the military that are

21:18

far away from their wives. Yeah,

21:20

I've seen them. I've seen women get pregnant

21:22

just kind of by thinking really

21:25

hard, yeah,

21:27

thinking yeah, yeah,

21:29

yeah, I see. It just got outed to websters.

21:32

You can look that up. Oh wait, they it just

21:34

got out of to websters, like maybe a couple days

21:36

ago. Just got at it. Well,

21:39

just to clarify, um, you

21:41

know, you can't get pregnant just by thinking really

21:43

hard about somebody. But then eventually, you

21:45

know, uh, seemen needs to enter

21:47

that obum for it to actually happen. I

21:49

feel like I should say that because you know, people listen

21:51

to the podcasts for medical advice. That's actually

21:54

the entire point of the podcast

21:56

and them, so so just

21:58

so nobody gets confused. Final

22:00

answer, You can get pregnantious

22:03

by thinking about someone. Yeah, but also

22:05

eventually you do need to have

22:07

some sort of sex or insemination for

22:09

it to actually happen. I don't see those thoughts

22:11

as different, because don't you always carry

22:13

around like a small vial of semen um.

22:17

I don't, but I know some people who do. Yeah,

22:20

if you're in a relationship, I just like I respectfully.

22:23

I do it as a sign of respect. I

22:25

do it, and I carry it and I keep it cold, and I keep it

22:27

in my bag with me. And then whenever

22:30

I'm having those thoughts, I think, well, well maybe,

22:32

and then put

22:34

it in and that you know

22:37

I have. I've talked about

22:39

this on the show before. I am swimming

22:41

in medical dildos. I

22:43

am swimming in in dilation

22:46

um apparatus.

22:50

You know, you got badinsmus you

22:52

got you got something you need

22:55

a you need to open er up. And

22:57

actually I'm gonna show I'm gonna show one of

22:59

the medical dildos right

23:02

now. I have one actually just kind of right here.

23:05

Yeah, this is it. And this

23:08

is a medical instrument.

23:11

Okay. We order this from the same place

23:13

that we order the gowns

23:15

that people wear, and h

23:18

this doesn't have a ramote on it.

23:21

So I actually wouldn't suggest investing

23:24

in one. But you know, if you're ever

23:26

by the hospital and you

23:28

need me to fill out a prescription for one of these

23:30

guys. You know, I got a million of them. Wow,

23:33

that's such a generous offer. Just

23:35

people can go to the hospital and they can pick up

23:37

a dildo for free. Well, you

23:39

have to have insurance otherwise. It's like a round

23:42

a thousand dollars though.

23:44

But we also have a you

23:47

know, I mean, I'm swimming in lube.

23:50

You know, if anybody needs lube, you know, bye

23:53

bye. We got quartz, we got pints,

23:55

we got gallon tanks, you

23:58

know, the industrial stuff, because we have to a

24:00

lot of leap over yere. Wow.

24:02

I you know, and I do consider myself

24:04

an expert, but I had no idea that

24:07

you were keeping so

24:09

much of that kind of thing at the

24:11

doctor's office at hospitals.

24:13

You have, like because that that was a real

24:16

I mean that was like almost twelve inches

24:18

and it was pretty thick, like it

24:20

almost seemed like a tree trunk practically.

24:23

And that's and that's just a medical grade

24:26

dildo though. That's medical grade.

24:29

That is the that is the oxycotton of

24:31

buildouts. Wow, Cassie,

24:33

I gotta say, just talking to you, if

24:36

you don't become a doctor, I'm gonna kill

24:38

myself. No, the

24:40

modical field No, you're

24:44

like Patch Adams. You got a gift for this stuff.

24:46

Oh my gosh, stop. No, I can't.

24:48

I can't be a doctor. I literally

24:50

cannot be. You just have to go to you

24:53

just have to go to school for like fifteen years.

24:55

No, I can't be a doctor. No,

24:57

I'm just I am

25:00

destined to be kind of a plains

25:02

woman. You know. I think I want to live on

25:04

the prairie. Cassie

25:07

the three words for you, Doctor

25:09

Quinn medicine woman. Okay,

25:12

she did it, so can you. I

25:15

don't want to put too much pressure on you, but if

25:17

you're not a medical doctor, your

25:20

life is going to be a waste. Because you have a

25:22

gift and you have understanding.

25:24

At least become a chiropractor at

25:26

least. I don't know. I don't know.

25:29

I don't know that I could do it. Are you sure? Look

25:32

you I've seen you at the Ernst Julius, I've

25:35

seen it at school. I think

25:38

you have a talent and I would make some calls

25:40

for you. I really would. Okay, I'll

25:42

think about it. I'll think about it. You said, doctor

25:44

Quinn medicine woman, Doctor

25:47

Quinn medicine woman. Okay, yeah.

25:49

Her husband it's a great show. Oh

25:51

it's about it's about a woman who's

25:54

kind of in olden times and

25:57

she's a doctor, and she's a medicine woman. It's

26:00

a really powerful Wait. I'm gonna have

26:02

to check that out. You should definitely check

26:04

it out. I think you can only get on VHS

26:06

at the library, but maybe it's on YouTube's I

26:08

don't know. Okay, we have one last

26:11

question. Okay, okay, our

26:13

last question is Anonymous.

26:15

Anonymous says, my parents forgot

26:17

to cancel their HBO subscription after

26:20

Mayor of Eastown ended amazing show.

26:22

Perfectly accurate documentary to me, So

26:25

now I use it to watch you throw

26:27

you up. How do I make my sex life

26:29

exactly like the show euphoria?

26:33

Oh? Wow, that is

26:35

a good question. Okay, I'm

26:37

ann answer. Just say one word lighting.

26:42

Get yourself some purple mood lights,

26:44

you know, get yourself on Amazon. When those little

26:46

mini discos kind of a then

26:49

it feels like you're kind of in a mood, you're

26:52

kind of having sex and euphorias. I mean, that is

26:54

so smart. That's actually one of my first suggestions

26:56

I would make is to turn as many lights off

26:59

as you can and you know.

27:01

I think most actually teens have

27:04

her number. I would just text Zindaia.

27:07

Um. I would just text her, hit

27:10

her up and be like, hey, girl, you

27:12

remember me from this thing, because

27:14

I feel like most of us have some level

27:16

of relationship and you can

27:19

just try and see if maybe you can have

27:21

sex with her, or she can give you

27:23

tips, or maybe she can just be in the room

27:25

or be nearby and

27:27

if she's busy, you know any of

27:29

the other girls I think are around. Um,

27:33

yeah, that would be most teens.

27:35

Most teens have Zindaia's number. Yeah,

27:37

I would say eighty

27:40

five percent of teens have Zidaia's

27:42

number. And that's that's that's statistics.

27:45

They did a poll. They did a national poll

27:48

with CNN. That's amazing. I

27:50

didn't know that. Um, that's cool. All

27:52

I know about Zindia's that she's married

27:55

to Spider Man's AKA.

27:57

I'm just rereading this question. Now, cancel

28:00

each Beyon or East pam this

28:02

question. Okay, you know this question is

28:05

not anomalous. It's from my daughter Aaron,

28:07

who thinks she's grown. Cassie,

28:10

thank you so much for being on the podcast. But I

28:12

gotta let you go. I gotta call my daughter. Oh,

28:15

thank you so much for having me. I truly

28:17

feel like I learned so much. I'll

28:19

be going to get my next dildo at the hospital. Yeah,

28:22

well, you got to bring your parents with you because you are

28:24

under eighteen. But um, I just

28:26

want to say that I'm so proud of you, and

28:28

I wish as you were my daughter. Oh

28:30

my gosh, I'm wishing you were my mom.

28:33

Know you down. I'm never around. I'm always at

28:35

the hospital, and I fart and

28:39

I fart. All

28:43

right, jeez, Louisa, right, let me get Aaron on

28:45

the fan O Lawn Air.

28:52

What did you ask an anomalous

28:54

question on my podcast? Again? No?

28:57

What what question? Even is it you're

28:59

talking about? Oh? My parents

29:02

forgot to cancel their subscription PHBO

29:05

after Maravistown. I want

29:07

my sex life exactly like euphoria. I've seen

29:10

the way you've been doing your eye makeup, and

29:12

I know everyone's makeup that you don't even

29:14

need to watch it for you to know that's what's that style. All

29:16

you need to do is like fucking go on like

29:19

literally anywhere online and see Sydney Sweeney

29:21

and understand that that's what I didn't do that,

29:23

mom, Stop stop

29:29

Air. I know that you love

29:31

that show. I know you watch that show because all

29:33

of your T shirts have little triangle

29:35

cutouts right under the breast.

29:38

Okay, and your show in hip and

29:40

your show inside and

29:43

look, I know we're Catholic. I

29:45

know we don't believe in it, and I know that they don't

29:47

practice it. Oh yeah, you're not Catholic,

29:50

Honey, You've been baptized. So that

29:52

does not mean anything. Just because confirmed does

29:54

not mean anything cultural anyway,

29:57

whatever. I didn't ask that question. I

29:59

watched the show. Fine, Fine, I watched the

30:01

show, but I also didn't ask that question

30:03

because first of all, I

30:06

learned my lesson last time, and I know how to engage with

30:08

you about this. And actually I've made really

30:10

adult decisions on my own. So

30:13

okay, Aaron, because if for

30:15

our listeners, just to catch these guys up.

30:18

Last time that Yaron was on the show, she

30:21

and I and a very heartfelt mother daughter

30:24

talk. She

30:26

told me that she has been having sex with

30:28

her now good boyfriend Trevor. No

30:30

one can do anything good enough for you, no one, no

30:33

one. It's so sick. You're really

30:35

sick. Woman. Well, Aaron,

30:38

let's talk about some of the positive changes you've

30:40

made since I found out that

30:42

you and Trevor had unprotected sex.

30:45

Have you done anything that we have been

30:47

talking about? You want to

30:49

know if I'm using a condom with Trevor.

30:52

Yeah, I do, tell me and

30:54

tell everybody the listens to the podcast.

31:00

Not only have we used a condom, we've used

31:02

two condoms. Air, What

31:06

oh god? Air? Okay. First

31:08

of all, I just want to say I love us and I'm proud

31:10

of use. Okay,

31:13

using two condoms kind

31:15

of defeats the purpose of

31:17

the condom because the single condom, if

31:19

it fits properly, it'll work. But

31:21

if you double it up, you know there's

31:24

no talent. What'll slip and slide? Well?

31:26

I know that because whatever?

31:30

Because what? Air? Because what? It's

31:33

whatever? Mom, No, it's

31:35

not whatever. If you're trying to have euphoria

31:38

style sex, I need to make sure that

31:40

that sex is at least protected. At

31:42

least I've already accepted that my baby

31:45

is no longer pure. At

31:47

least give me this. It slipped

31:49

and slided right off, Okay, and it

31:51

actually got trapped inside of the

31:54

caverns that is me. Air.

31:57

Okay, First of all, that

32:00

actually will happen to the best of us.

32:04

And I know I shouldn't be saying this as

32:06

a medical doctor, but if

32:08

he give it to you right, medically

32:10

speaking, it will get shoved up

32:12

there real bad? Is that what happened?

32:16

If he's kind

32:18

of incredible, I mean, sometimes

32:21

it just feels like the whole

32:23

world slips away and

32:27

it's just Trevor and I sort

32:30

of floating in space. Don't

32:32

tell me that stuff, Okay, you don't have to. I

32:35

already knew. But the first time he came over

32:37

to dinner and the first time he looked

32:39

me in the eyes when he ate those stuff shells, I knew

32:41

that boy, Kulai Pipe, I knew

32:43

it, okay, because there's an energy about him,

32:46

and that's what I don't trust, sort

32:48

of like a surfer like

32:51

music producer, potentially energy

32:54

like you know what I'm saying, the

32:56

dreams of a delusional, you

32:59

know, underage child. Here. She

33:01

thinks that he's going to be a music producer

33:04

just because he had what was that called like a sound

33:06

thunder, sound sound rat

33:08

SoundCloud account. He

33:11

has a SoundCloud account, Okay,

33:13

yeah, well I looked it up in his sound

33:15

just like beeps and bops to me, beeps

33:18

and bops is huge. Right now you've

33:20

heard a diplo. No, I haven't. He's

33:22

beeping and bopping all the way to Coachella, Mom.

33:25

And guess what, I'm gonna go to Coachella next year

33:27

or two after I graduate and moved to Los

33:29

Angeles, California, because Coachella is

33:31

one town away. I saw Alexia

33:34

Demi from Euphoria post about it. Okay,

33:37

I gotta met you something are the

33:39

reason why You're that night?

33:42

Did not so the subscription after

33:45

Mayor of Easttown perfect show documentary

33:47

to me, so good, so

33:50

good, so accurate. It was so

33:52

good I felt like really like good

33:55

writing too. Yeah,

33:57

and I kind of didn't really see all the twists

33:59

and turns coming. There was a lot of turns.

34:01

Yeah. And also when I

34:04

closed my eyes, I kind of felt like I

34:06

was at my high school reunion. Yeah.

34:08

I liked that one girl. And then who is the one girl who

34:10

like the Yeah, that one girl. I loved that one

34:13

girl who's the star of it. Yeah, I loved

34:15

her. Yeah, the one girl with the pennytail.

34:17

I loved her. She had cut the cop

34:19

who was just like the like the

34:21

cops. She was like the star of it. She was like the

34:23

one that was like always like saying like get

34:26

over here. Yeah she

34:28

was playing many Yeah,

34:30

okay, yeah she was good. That girl's a really

34:32

good. She should be in more things that

34:34

girls. I don't she's obvious should be a mother, she

34:36

should be on Euphoria. She could play like one of

34:38

the moms. Hey for sure.

34:41

Well anyway people make up on her high

34:43

shadow and stuff and like I don't know even like I don't know,

34:45

like just like a lipwiner. She could be a mom

34:47

on Euphoria for sure.

34:49

Yeah, paint her like a whore or any woman can be on

34:52

Euphoria as long as you put

34:54

kind of sparkles on your eyes and kind

34:56

of whispered to the camera under

34:58

beeps and bops music. Yeah, I've

35:00

watched the show. Hmm,

35:03

that's why you kept a subscription. Yeah,

35:05

it is because I

35:08

need to know what kind of influences

35:10

you have in your life. And

35:13

yeah, um, I'm very

35:16

interested in the dynamic between

35:19

Sydney Sweeney and Alexi Damis

35:21

characters. H It's

35:24

I'm engaged. Okay, all

35:28

right, well fine, I do

35:30

watch the show, and yeah, I guess I

35:32

can invent my influences are exclusively

35:35

that what what

35:38

now? Hm? I tried

35:40

my best with the condoms. I thought two was

35:42

better than one. So

35:46

did you get no

35:49

because you thought you forgot You forgot

35:51

to untape the pregnancy tests from the toilet

35:53

bowl. So I look down there

35:56

and low him behold negative.

36:00

Yeah. I've been taping pregnancy tests

36:02

to the inside of Air's toiletble

36:05

basically ever since she started dating

36:07

Trevor. Um and um, you know,

36:09

I've been working long hours at the hospital,

36:11

and so I have been getting your dad

36:14

to do it. Mom.

36:18

What, Well, he's

36:20

just as concerned about you as I. Yeah,

36:22

he's not. He's concerned about one thing,

36:25

his air fryer exactly. Yeah.

36:28

I mean we had air fried spaghetti

36:30

yesterday. I was like, Patrick,

36:33

just order a hogie for God's sake,

36:35

Like, look at the kids, they're crying. I

36:37

was really crying that day. Okay, So

36:40

clearly condoms are not working

36:42

for you, and Trevor I

36:44

AM says to wear them.

36:47

Yeah. Well, guess what. I don't like

36:50

my entire life doesn't

36:52

mean that I just don't do it. Mom,

36:56

that was really fucked up. I

36:58

don't mean it. You and your brother

37:01

and your dad are the

37:03

best thing that ever happened

37:05

to me. I thought you said

37:08

that your private practice was the best thing there

37:10

happened to you. Oh yeah, that's

37:12

true. Well, um,

37:15

okay, so there's always don't

37:18

speak to me that way. You just told me that

37:20

you fucking hate me basically, though, No,

37:22

I love you, so you're a pain in my ass.

37:25

Okay. The fact that I don't you know up?

37:27

And what was that movie that we

37:29

watched the other day, Lost Daughter, The

37:31

fact that I know it was so good. That was

37:34

so good, the girl and that was so good.

37:36

I thought, the girl and that was really good. And the other girl too,

37:39

and that were really good. Kind of like the writing

37:41

was really good too. The twist and turns were so

37:43

funny. Oh my god, so many

37:45

twists and turns, Like I thought that was so funny.

37:48

Like she stabbed right then. I was like, oh

37:50

my god. Yeah, I didn't see that coming.

37:52

And I thought that the girl who did like

37:54

that main girl, like she was so good. The

37:57

main girl was so good and she got to Oscar nomination.

38:00

What else? I don't think she's been in anything

38:02

else. I will watch it. She needs to be in more things.

38:05

Yeah, I agree. She's British

38:07

though, so that might be hard to be on mykephoria.

38:10

Oh yeah for sure. Um

38:12

well, okay, so remember when you said paint

38:14

in my ass? Yeah,

38:16

well guess what, Lord,

38:20

I had kind of a paint in my ass too the

38:22

other day, Lord Jesus

38:25

and I talked to everyone else about this already,

38:27

um Carol Trina

38:30

the ants um. But

38:33

Trevor says that if you don't want to get pregnant,

38:35

it's obviously only natural and apparently the homosexuals

38:38

are doing us all the time. It's just, you know, have

38:41

anal sex er. I

38:43

swear to God, you're going to send me in you're an early grave.

38:47

First of all, did

38:49

you use the luber Kin? Because

38:51

you know I have a lot in the garage from

38:53

the hospital. I have my you know, you

38:56

know I'm you know, I'm brand strong,

38:59

gun will Okay, But I'm just

39:01

saying that if you ever need the industrial

39:03

stuff, I don't want to use your

39:06

lube in the weird big plastic

39:08

tins. No, they're

39:10

in the garage if you need him, and just telling

39:12

your friends, that's all I'm saying. Okay, whatever is

39:16

well, as you know, he's only seventeen

39:18

like me, but they let him serve at the restaurant.

39:20

So he's starting to make more money now because he has a very

39:23

vibrant personality, as you know, so

39:25

he has started to make you know, instead of eighty dollars

39:27

an hour of busting, he now makes upwards of one hundred

39:30

and eighty five dollars. I'm a good Friday and right

39:32

so a good loube of our own and this

39:34

means that we don't need to be going into the garage and

39:36

getting your weird loube in

39:38

those tubs, so we can do

39:40

our own lube when I have anal

39:43

sex with him to protect myself from an early childhood

39:45

pregnancy. And lots of gay men do

39:47

it too all the time. And I've really come around on gay

39:50

men. What do you mean come around?

39:53

We've always raised us to respect

39:55

everybody's things, and

39:58

you know what they do. And uh,

40:00

you know, we had that gay couple that had

40:03

the surgate that I told you about, and I

40:05

was obsessed with them. I mean, they were funny,

40:08

they were they were singing the whole

40:10

time, and I was just like, shut up, like that's

40:12

my thing is gigas are annoying, Like

40:15

whatever you want to do is fine. I don't know. This is kind

40:17

of weird for me to be the less progressive one,

40:19

but that's kind of the way where it falls. You're

40:22

a regressive Aaron, and I think

40:24

you're listening too many episodes.

40:29

He's actually hot. I'm a Bernie supporter

40:31

who hates Gaze because

40:35

they're annoying. They're so annoying.

40:38

Sometimes you talk an item like is this my daughter

40:41

or is this some crazy Reddit

40:44

slut? Crazy

40:50

fuck you mom. Don't

40:53

speak to me that way. First of all, don't use Reddit as

40:55

a pejorative. A lot of really good conversations happen on

40:57

there, like for crypto. I don't even

40:59

know what these sexual words are

41:01

any words an ft Is

41:05

that like an insult to me that

41:08

some sort of like you call me a

41:10

bit or something? No

41:14

fucking truth.

41:20

Well, you and Trevor have been

41:23

having anal sex and medically

41:25

speaking, you cannot get pregnant

41:28

that way. But I would

41:30

like to warn the listeners, Um,

41:33

you've heard of trickle down economics.

41:36

M Oh my god, I literally know, I

41:39

literally know this, and

41:41

it's humiliated trickled down effect,

41:44

and so I just need to make sure I'm

41:46

just saying, like, you know, you

41:48

gotta be a word the stuff. I'm not gonna

41:50

have a fucking butt baby.

41:53

I I I've had a couple of

41:56

butt babies. What are you talk to me about?

41:58

Not me? There

42:00

is such thing as a bot baby, because

42:03

you know I pour with your brother. You

42:06

know that I tour with your brother and shaw

42:08

him off because he was a butt baby. He took it in the butt

42:10

from dad's alcoholic gas. I'm

42:13

not talking about taking

42:15

it, okay.

42:18

Medically speaking, a butt baby

42:20

is when there is vaginal tearing.

42:24

Technically the baby

42:26

expels from the

42:29

butt from the asshole because

42:31

it's actually all one hole. And

42:34

I have, you know, really

42:37

seeing a lot of butt babies grow

42:39

up to be doctors, grew up

42:41

to be engineers, grew up to be teachers.

42:44

You know, being a butt baby is not a bad

42:46

goal. Again, like basically, even butt

42:49

babies would make you more proud than me as long as

42:51

they went to college like ud and went on

42:53

to become like a teacher. You can't

42:55

stand it that I'm a regular vaginal

42:57

baby who wants to be a dancer. In the background,

43:00

you can study dancing university at

43:02

the Delaware I've told you this one hundred dollars,

43:05

No you can't. It's not a good program.

43:07

And also college is a waste of time. While

43:09

I'm young and have these titties, I want

43:11

to get to La. Yeah.

43:14

For those just listening on the podcast, my daughter

43:16

Aaron is stacked to hell. It's

43:18

her tits are absolutely in her collar phone. And yeah

43:20

she gets that from her mother. Let

43:23

me tell you, Air, you

43:25

want to keep those babies up there, don't breastfeed

43:28

all right, I'm not planning

43:30

on it because I'm not having a child.

43:32

That's right. Because you're having anal sex. I'm

43:35

using two condoms during

43:37

anal sex, so I'm protected.

43:42

I think that we just got to get you an IUD and

43:44

have him pull out. I

43:47

mean, at this point, that's the only thing that is

43:49

gonna because I can't trust your dad.

43:51

While I'm working these long hours to tape the pregnancy

43:53

test of the toilet bowl, I can't trust him to crush

43:56

up your birth control and put it inside your

43:58

brisk iced tea. I can't.

44:00

I can't trust them to do all that. Lucky

44:03

turn over to Arizona Green. Thank god,

44:05

you have to tell me stuff like that because I know I

44:07

don't, because I know that you have your hands in my

44:09

entire life. And now I know that you've got dad

44:12

doing it too. Okay, from now on, every

44:14

single dinner we eat as a family, there's going

44:17

to be crushed up birth control pills inside

44:19

of the dinner. And I'm not telling people what. You

44:21

just gotta finish your plate. Well, I'd rather

44:23

have that than the stuff shells you made last week. You

44:26

love stuff shells. Don't tell

44:28

me you're going vegan. No, I don't

44:31

anymore. When can

44:33

I get my iod? I

44:35

come? I will come over tomorrow

44:37

after after you're gonna do

44:39

it? Yeah, who else is gonna do

44:42

it? This is like having an

44:44

accountant in the family. Like I, I gotta

44:46

I gotta do everybody's books. I

44:48

gotta put in everybody's io d. I

44:51

just did it for your cousin Kelly the other day.

44:54

She has a piercing that

44:56

I don't think your aunt Pat knows

44:58

about. She

45:01

doesn't know about it. They have a really close relationship, but they

45:03

tell each other everything. Well, I

45:05

hope when I go down there, I don't see any

45:07

jewelry that I didn't buy. If you know what I

45:09

mean, don't worry about it. I'll

45:12

come over after practice at five. Come over

45:14

after practice and then maybe, you know, we

45:16

can go to the Orange Julius after because I

45:18

know a real nice girl who works there. Okay,

45:21

all right, well tell you that I'll be home in a couple

45:23

hours. What do you want for dinner to night? Chicken

45:27

call it? Okay, we'll

45:29

do chicken cott two hours, she said, two

45:32

hours. Okay, bye,

45:34

love you buy drunk. Bye love you. Well,

45:39

thank you so much for listening to Parts

45:42

Talk. Thank you to my guest teen

45:44

sexpert and teach your doctor,

45:47

Cassie. And uh yeah,

45:49

I guess. Thank you to my daughter Erin.

45:51

You know, we have a contentious relationship,

45:54

but I also feel through communication

45:56

band closer. This has been

45:58

Parts Talk.