0:00

So if your girlfriend has daddy issues, is

0:02

it bad to discuss that with her? Well,

0:07

if you're having problems and so what does

0:09

it mean to grow with daddy issues? Typically

0:11

it means she did not grow

0:14

up in a environment where there was a

0:16

lot of masculine safety,

0:18

if you will. And

0:20

if the dad wasn't around or he was a

0:22

bad father, she's always going to tend to be

0:24

a little bit insecure. And

0:27

she'll probably typically end up with guys that don't

0:29

treat her well, the bad boy type, because she

0:32

is only listening to her emotions

0:34

and is unable to recognize

0:37

the bad patterns that these guys have

0:39

because she never got a healthy pattern

0:42

modeled for her. And what

0:44

you see with women that grow up with

0:46

a missing or non-existent father, it's like the

0:49

clips that we were just watching is

0:51

that she tends to become very masculine.

0:53

And a woman that comes from a

0:55

broken home is they're

0:57

going to have a higher incidence of being

0:59

disloyal, being a liar, being a cheater, those

1:01

kinds of things. Because

1:03

often they come from an environment where they're

1:05

just in survival mode. And

1:08

so whatever is modeled for them at home

1:10

is what they're going to bring to the table.

1:13

And so girls with daddy issues tend

1:15

to – they don't know which men to trust.

1:17

And they've probably had bad things happen to them

1:19

with men in their life when they were younger.

1:23

And so they don't know which guys to

1:25

trust, and they're following whatever their emotions are,

1:28

which leads them down difficult

1:31

relationships, getting their heart broken a lot, and

1:33

bad things happen. And

1:35

they tend to become a little jaded. And that was the

1:37

thing that we were talking about, what I

1:39

noticed about five or six years ago, with

1:41

women on the dating apps that were kind

1:43

of the hookers and the strippers, that type of

1:46

thing. They were basically looking for guys to pay them

1:48

to go out on dates and have sex

1:50

with them and stuff like that. And you can tell they were – even

1:53

though it was funny talking to

1:55

some of them, they were very beautiful. And

1:57

they were young, but man, they were so jaded and so angry

1:59

and so quiet. pissed off and hateful towards men

2:01

and just looked at them as like a

2:03

cash register. Right. Basically, because dad

2:06

wasn't there or maybe dad just sent some

2:08

money occasionally. She learned that

2:10

that's what men are there for. There are men are there to pay

2:12

your shit and send you money, but other than that, you

2:14

don't have much use for them because they don't

2:16

like their dad because their dad didn't do a

2:19

good job. If you're a normal

2:22

guy trying to have a healthy relationship and communicate

2:24

with a woman that grew up in a difficult

2:27

environment, a traumatic environment where there's

2:29

lots of arguing, fighting, dad's not

2:31

around or whatever, or

2:33

there is a dad in the home, but he's a

2:35

pussy and the mother walks all over him and

2:38

cheats on him, disrespects him, or maybe

2:40

both parents cheat on each other and

2:42

they cheat on their subsequent partners. When

2:44

somebody grows up in that kind of environment, that's

2:46

what was modeled. That's what feels normal to them.

2:49

So dating and being in a relationship with

2:51

somebody like that, they

2:53

can't handle things being

2:56

normal and being calm because they're used to

2:58

the chaos. So they'll create the

3:00

chaos. If you're trying to have a relationship with

3:02

somebody that comes from that kind of environment with

3:05

the daddy issues, you've got to be

3:07

able to talk to her and mention

3:09

because it is helpful. At

3:11

some point, you're going to know

3:13

the girl you date and what her family life

3:15

is like and what her history is like. So

3:17

if you understand the basics of human nature and

3:20

how the missing father

3:22

or the bad father influences the

3:24

girl, she might not be

3:26

trustworthy. She might constantly be accusing you of

3:28

doing something wrong. If she's

3:30

narcissistic, she'll tend to gaslight you and

3:33

mistreat you and things of that nature. She

3:35

may stonewall you. She may be passive aggressive.

3:38

In other words, she's anything but easy going,

3:40

easy to get along with. If

3:42

you guys watch any of the videos with my old

3:45

English girlfriend, Katie, who her

3:47

parents adore one another. They're

3:49

calm. They talk things out.

3:52

They are extremely close and

3:54

both the daughters are mild

3:57

mannered or mild tempered. They

3:59

are. They're optimistic, they're

4:01

positive, both the parents are like that.

4:03

Their parents are very successful, the uncles

4:06

are very successful. She

4:10

comes from a family of successful people that

4:12

are very family oriented, very close, very, very

4:14

tight. She saw

4:16

a model growing up, dad's calm, dad's got

4:18

his shit together, dad's very successful, dad's the

4:20

man of the house. He

4:23

absolutely adores his wife. His wife is

4:25

the most important person in the world

4:28

to him and vice versa, her

4:30

mother's like that. I

4:33

know that about the family because I got to

4:36

know them in our time together. It's

4:38

pretty obvious why she turned out that way. It's

4:41

also pretty obvious why women that come from

4:43

broken homes turn out the way they turn

4:46

out. Your job as a man is to be

4:48

able to vet and understand and ask

4:51

the questions so you can figure out where

4:53

she's at. It doesn't mean that all women that

4:56

come from broken homes are just undateable, but it

4:58

means there's going to be a high percentage of them that

5:01

are because most human beings, when

5:03

they're fucked up, they won't do

5:05

anything to help themselves. They won't read

5:07

a self-help book. It's like any of you guys that have

5:10

tried to recommend in my book to your friends, when

5:12

you know they need it, it's like very few of them

5:14

will take you up on that

5:16

offer. When you get somebody that comes from a broken

5:18

home and they're fucked up, the last thing that they're

5:20

going to want to do is go

5:23

do therapy or counseling or work

5:25

on themselves because they

5:27

know they need to become a better human being basically

5:29

in order to attract and keep the kind of people

5:31

they really want in their life. He's

5:34

going to have to have those conversations with her.

5:38

For behaviors inappropriate, if she's

5:40

stonewalling him, if she's

5:43

passive aggressive and gets mad and gives him the

5:45

silent treatment for three or four days, you'll

5:48

have to communicate that that behavior

5:50

is not loving, it's not kind,

5:53

it's unacceptable. You want easy

5:55

going, easy get along with it. If you're mad or you're

5:57

upset, just talk about it and work it out. army

6:00

for four days and that's

6:02

not how you resolve things. You can't solve

6:04

problems unless you can talk openly and honestly

6:06

about them. And after you've had

6:08

those conversations with her it's like she's either gonna

6:10

get better or she's gonna keep doing the same

6:12

thing. Yeah. And if she can't get better or

6:14

won't get better for whatever reason then it's like you either

6:16

put up with it or you

6:18

have to end the relationship to go find somebody

6:20

that came from a good family or

6:23

somebody that's done the work on themselves. But

6:26

for guys the the best thing to do

6:28

is to date ideally you're

6:30

gonna have the best results of women that come from a good

6:33

family where it was stable and dad dad's the

6:35

man of the house and he's calm. He's

6:37

a type A alpha. Yeah

6:40

but yeah I feel like I've been in

6:42

an experience where

6:46

I personally feel like I come from

6:48

a very calm home like there's no

6:50

yelling there's no cursing no one does

6:52

drugs or anything like that like no

6:54

screaming no fights nothing and

6:56

I dated someone who did have that

6:58

that had constant screaming or

7:01

shaming you know making them feel

7:03

bad ugly language and stuff like

7:05

that and he came into my

7:07

life and I'm more like calm I'm like you

7:09

don't need to yell you just explain yourself talk

7:12

normally you know like a human but

7:15

he wasn't used to that and that that would like

7:17

spark his nerve even more and I

7:20

had to explain to him you know that's

7:22

not right and little by little I got so

7:24

used to that treatment that I started becoming

7:26

that you know you became a cranky bitch

7:28

I became cranky annoyed I started snapping back

7:30

yelling and then I realized I'm like frustrated

7:32

because I'm like this is not mean like

7:34

I'm not even my mom talks to me

7:36

like this not my brother not my dad

7:38

not my grandma nobody not even

7:41

my friends you're the only person that talks

7:43

like this and you're making me become someone

7:45

I'm not which is unhealthy it's toxic and

7:47

I was like if you don't change or

7:49

want to change then I can't

7:51

continue being in a relationship with you because I'm

7:53

not changing for the better I'm changing for the

7:55

worse and it's because of you so

7:58

that relationship didn't work And

8:01

now like I'm with someone else and

8:03

they come from a nice home and

8:05

they understand patience, you know talking sweetly

8:07

nicely And

8:10

just being patient with me and I'm like, that's

8:12

what I need that's what I want, you know,

8:14

I'm not on Flight

8:17

or fight. I'm just wanna relax.

8:19

I want to be in peace and it's nice so

8:22

for those guys that you come from a broken

8:24

home, don't go into a Good

8:26

girl's life and mess it up for her

8:28

if she well She won't put up with it

8:30

long term and especially if she comes from a good

8:32

family Yeah You know the dad

8:34

she'll respect the father enough to even though

8:36

it's hard to listen to him and he'll

8:39

be able to point Out the

8:41

reasons why that particular guy is messed up

8:43

or it's not gonna work Especially

8:45

based on his behavior and you know, she loves

8:47

and trusts her father. She'll listen to him. Yeah,

8:50

she'll dip You