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Why You Never Break No Contact When You Want Her Back

Why You Never Break No Contact When You Want Her Back

Released Friday, 22nd March 2024
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Why You Never Break No Contact When You Want Her Back

Why You Never Break No Contact When You Want Her Back

Why You Never Break No Contact When You Want Her Back

Why You Never Break No Contact When You Want Her Back

Friday, 22nd March 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

This episode is brought to you by Bumble.

0:03

So you want to find someone you're

0:05

compatible with, specifically someone who's ready for

0:08

a serious connection. Totally open

0:10

to having kids in the future, is

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you. So whatever it is you're looking

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for, Bumble's features can help you find

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it. Date now on Bumble. Hi,

0:29

I'm Coach Cory Wayne, and this is

0:31

my video coaching newsletter. And the topic

0:33

of today's newsletter is going to be

0:35

why you never break no contact when

0:37

you want her back. Well

0:40

this particular email, this guy is new to my work, so

0:42

there's a lot of things you're going to see in his

0:44

email. You're going to be shaking your head and going, dude,

0:46

come on. But he's only been

0:49

following me for about four months, and he says

0:51

he's read 3% Man twice

0:53

so far. And he says what happened was he

0:56

started dating this girl, really liked

0:58

her, but he said once she fell in love

1:00

with him, he just became totally dopey, drunk

1:03

with love, and just things

1:05

went completely sideways. She

1:08

broke it off, and

1:10

now he's trying to get another

1:12

chance. And so he vacillates between

1:14

allowing her to come back to

1:16

him at her pace so

1:18

he can potentially give her another chance

1:20

to win him over. And

1:23

then the very next day or a few

1:26

days later, he goes back to chasing and

1:28

pursuing, and then he ends up

1:30

pushing her away. And

1:32

then he made the further mistake of

1:35

getting really upset, really frustrated that

1:37

she wasn't as into him as he was

1:39

into her. And

1:42

the reality is women are going to

1:44

find men way more attractive if they

1:46

think that they're way

1:48

more into the guy than the guy is into them. And if you got

1:50

a room of 100 women together and you ask her, they go, oh no,

1:52

it should be a bit of a bit of a dick, or a... The

1:55

reality is what they actually emotionally

1:58

respond to despite what what

2:00

most women think is

2:02

that it's a scientific fact that women are

2:04

more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

2:06

They like you more if they think they're

2:08

more into you than you are into them

2:11

and then they're going to try to win

2:13

you over. And the reason

2:15

why when the guy behaves this

2:17

way, when the guy behaves like

2:19

he's more into her than she

2:21

is into him, he's trying to

2:23

win her over instead of letting

2:25

her win him over. And

2:27

women are just naturally designed to

2:30

do this. Feminine

2:32

energy pulls the masculine energy in.

2:35

It entices the masculine

2:37

energy. The masculine energy creates

2:39

the container of safety for

2:42

the feminine energy to be submissive, to

2:44

be feminine, to be girly, to basically

2:46

let go and let the guy have

2:48

his way with her. But

2:50

you have to be more masculine than she

2:52

is in order for her to feel safe

2:55

enough to totally relax into her feminine energy.

2:57

In this case, this guy is not doing

2:59

that. He's not creating

3:01

a strong container where she

3:03

can let go because she's

3:05

constantly dealing with his neurotic,

3:08

needy desires and the fact that

3:10

he obviously didn't get enough strokes as a kid

3:13

from his parents. And so

3:15

he's incredibly insecure and incredibly needy

3:17

and he treats this girl more

3:19

like his mommy and his therapist

3:22

than a teammate and an equal

3:24

and a woman he's going

3:26

to allow to love him.

3:29

Because love is allowing after all. In

3:31

other words, you create the conditions where

3:33

you allow the person who's already predisposed

3:35

to like you, to like

3:38

you more and to pursue you and

3:40

to make the effort and to get

3:42

your attention. And when they get your attention,

3:44

then you give them your presence.

3:46

If you're constantly seeking and pursuing

3:48

and chasing, you in essence

3:51

are taking all of her fun away. You're

3:53

acting like a girl and what it

3:55

does from a sexual polarity standpoint, it

3:57

completely turns the woman off. And

4:00

she might have had strong romantic feelings just

4:02

the day before, but when you act like

4:04

a chick, now her feelings are platonic

4:07

because of the way that

4:09

you're showing up. But again, this guy's brand new

4:11

to the work, so we can't expect

4:13

him to be an expert. But he

4:17

just, like I said, you'll see later in

4:19

the email, he just totally loses his shit

4:21

with this girl. And

4:23

that just starts whining about what she's

4:26

not doing. If

4:28

you whine to a woman and then she

4:30

does what you've asked her to

4:32

do when you're whining, she's not doing it because

4:35

she thought you're attractive and it turns her on.

4:37

She's doing it out of guilt. It's like

4:39

it's out of pity. And you don't

4:42

want to pity fuck. You want a woman who wants to tear

4:44

your clothes off and fuck your brains out because

4:46

she admires you, she respects you, she

4:48

looks up to you, she

4:50

trusts your leadership, she trusts your judgment.

4:53

And the way this guy is behaving, he's behaving

4:55

like a man-baby, like a child, like a kid

4:57

that's throwing a temper tantrum in

4:59

the grocery store when he put a bag of M&Ms in

5:01

the cart and his mom said, no, no more sugar. And

5:04

she put it back in the shelf. I'm sure we've all at

5:06

some point seen a kid at the grocery

5:08

store with his mom and she won't let him do

5:10

what he wants or buy what he wants. He

5:13

lays down on the ground and starts

5:15

kicking and screaming and making a complete

5:17

ass out of himself, which is basically,

5:19

metaphorically, kind of how this guy will

5:21

behave. And you'll see in a minute,

5:23

it's pretty disgusting for a man to say and do the

5:25

things that he did.

5:27

So it's a good email to learn from and what

5:30

not to do. He

5:32

says, hey, coach, I've read the book twice. I've been

5:35

a follower for four months after my girlfriend left me

5:37

after a five month relationship. I

5:41

was a secure, masculine, leading man

5:43

until she said she

5:45

loved me. I immediately let

5:47

it go to my head, got dopey,

5:50

didn't know how to communicate or open

5:52

her up and she became unsure. So

5:56

he started out as secure,

5:58

masculine, leading man. and then

6:01

he reverted back to

6:03

a little girl in essence. He

6:08

says she's also not a healthy woman, no father,

6:10

the mom had her at 16 and

6:12

resented her for it, leaving her a

6:15

hot and cold mess and as you will see

6:17

doesn't value monogamy or

6:20

loyalty. Well this

6:22

is not somebody that you should be trying to make

6:24

your girlfriend. This is somebody

6:26

that's a sex playmate, fuck buddy, friends

6:28

with benefits, you should definitely wear a

6:31

raincoat with her but it's

6:33

not somebody you get into a relationship with.

6:35

She comes from a broken home and she

6:37

doesn't value loyalty or monogamy, you should not

6:39

be talking to me about how do I

6:41

make her my girlfriend again. That's

6:43

just the wrong mindset, you should be trying to lock a

6:45

girl like that down. She

6:49

said I didn't think about

6:51

the consequences of being in a

6:53

relationship before we did but I'm

6:56

not ready for a relationship and don't

6:58

know when I will be. When

7:00

a woman says that despite the fact she's

7:02

messed up what she's really saying

7:05

is you're smothering me, you're acting

7:07

like a girl, you're controlling. In other

7:09

words remember the Tichdown Han quote, you

7:11

must love in such a way that

7:13

the person you love feels free and

7:16

so he's smothering her not because he wants to

7:18

show her how much he loves her, he's

7:20

smothering her because he's afraid of losing her

7:23

and afraid that she's not going to continually

7:25

love him because again this is

7:28

what he learned in child that he didn't get enough strokes

7:30

as a kid and so when a

7:32

guy grows up after growing up in that

7:34

environment he tries to force himself into a

7:37

woman's life. He calls too much, he texts

7:39

too much, he tries to

7:41

create reasons to call her and to reach

7:43

out and more reasons to get together than

7:45

she's ready for and just

7:48

smothers her and then

7:50

typically as the woman starts to back away

7:52

and lose interest then the guy

7:54

pursues even more because now he's really afraid because

7:56

he can feel that she's backing away and he's

7:58

thinking I got to do something. I got

8:00

to get her like me and I got to get her back to

8:02

where she was a few weeks ago.

8:06

He says after our breakup I didn't

8:09

follow no contact. So

8:11

he was smothering her to the point where she didn't

8:13

want anything to do with him anymore, dumped

8:15

him, broke up with him and he didn't

8:17

stop. He just kept going forward. He

8:20

says I proceeded to talk to her for two months

8:22

trying to get her back while she started talking with

8:25

a new guy. Yeah, when you do that and you

8:27

chase after somebody that's dumped you, every

8:29

time you contact her you're just further reinforcing

8:31

that she made it a good decision by

8:33

dumping you. Because the

8:35

man who loves and values himself and sees himself as

8:38

a prize and a catch is like she

8:40

doesn't want me okay I'm going to go find somebody else then. And

8:43

he goes and he does that. But a

8:45

guy who's insecure, has no choices, no options is

8:47

going to keep pursuing the woman that stuck

8:49

him in friend zone. Meanwhile

8:51

she's telling him about the new guys that she's

8:53

meeting and he's hoping he's going to change her

8:55

mind. Because that's what you see again in

8:57

movies and TV. But in the real world it

9:00

doesn't work. He

9:03

says I tried to do no contact for one

9:05

month and then reach back out like an idiot.

9:08

Well again no contact is not a strategy.

9:12

No contact means that the

9:14

negotiation is over and

9:16

the two of you are at an impasse. You

9:19

want sex and romance? She wants

9:21

to give you blue balls, free attention

9:23

and validation for her. No

9:26

sex, no romance, none of what you want.

9:29

And so when you're that far apart

9:31

you say well hey if you

9:33

change your mind get in touch. If not hey it's been

9:35

great. And then you

9:37

walk away and you never look back. The

9:39

strongest negotiating position is being able to

9:41

walk away and mean it. And he didn't mean it. So

9:44

he doesn't have the balls to say

9:46

I don't like the way I'm being treated and

9:49

leave forever. And

9:51

women want to know, they need to know. If

9:54

you're really going to own her heart, women

9:56

have to know that they push you too far you'll walk

9:59

and never look back. So he walked, but then

10:01

he started running back after, which just makes him

10:03

look weak and pathetic. So

10:07

he says, thinking I could just win her

10:09

back, or will her back, I began chasing

10:11

again. Well, you chased her, and that's what

10:13

caused her to dump you. And

10:16

so after you get dumped, a

10:18

month goes by, and then you hadn't heard from her, and

10:20

then you're like, oh, let me start chasing her again to

10:22

see how that'll work. One

10:24

day, she suggested we go rock climbing at

10:26

the local university, and I agreed. By

10:29

this time, I was ready to go, and she

10:31

decided she was sore from her recent appointment to

10:34

her gynecologist and wasn't up for it.

10:37

I still went to meet new chicks and people.

10:39

So she canceled the date on it. He

10:44

says, after I was done, I noticed she

10:46

posted a story at the casino with a

10:48

married man she used to have sex with.

10:52

So he went no contact for a month,

10:54

he couldn't take it, he starts pursuing her

10:56

again. She makes plans to go rock climbing,

10:58

and then blows them off, going, oh, I'm

11:00

just too sore after the gynecologist. And

11:04

then next thing he sees on her

11:06

social media is she's hanging out with

11:08

some married guy banging him. Remember, she's

11:10

too sore after the gynecologist. It

11:13

sounds legit, right? But she just told him

11:15

a lie and totally deceived him. This

11:19

is why you don't chase somebody that blows you

11:21

off. Because it just

11:23

shows you don't value or respect your time

11:25

or yourself, and therefore she doesn't either. That's

11:27

why she just blows you

11:29

off, says, yeah, I'm a little sore down

11:32

there, I don't really wanna strain myself too

11:34

much. But by the way, I'm gonna go

11:36

hang out with Chad Thundercock and have him

11:38

rearrange my insides, even though he's married, I'm

11:40

sure his wife won't mind or find out.

11:43

And oh, by the way, we're going to a casino, maybe I'll

11:45

win some money. Maybe he'll buy me

11:47

a nice handbag. So

11:52

he says, weird, I went home and cooked dinner,

11:54

and she texted me all drunk that she wanted

11:56

to come over. I said, sure, come

11:59

over, let's have some dinner. I

12:01

was making crab cakes from scratch and she said oh

12:03

I love crab As soon

12:05

as she got to my place she told me she

12:08

didn't like seafood He says weird again. Yeah, because she's

12:10

punking you because she thinks you're a bitch, and you

12:12

mostly act like a bitch Women

12:16

do that just to see to fuck with you

12:18

to see how you handle it He

12:21

says she came over drunk, but we had a great

12:23

time And I truly thought she didn't even care about

12:25

the amazing five months. We spent together Where

12:28

we went on trips and had so many memorable

12:31

experiences. She's 26 and I'm 29 Yeah,

12:35

what you gotta understand is though those

12:37

five months that's all your idea of

12:39

how things Were going and

12:42

whatever she said during those five months.

12:44

She meant it at the time. It doesn't apply today The

12:48

fact that she's sleeping with a married

12:50

guy canceling dates with you and blowing you off

12:53

But then she could just come over at a

12:56

moment's notice after she's blown you off It

12:58

just shows you don't respect yourself You don't

13:00

value your time either and since you don't

13:02

value your time she certainly doesn't that's

13:04

why she jerks you around Cuz she doesn't care and

13:06

she knows that you don't really care that you'll put

13:08

up with it He

13:11

says but her being drunk let her push

13:14

past her emotional wall She told me she

13:16

thinks about us all the time

13:18

and that the relationship really was as good as I thought

13:20

it was But again,

13:22

that's in the past a

13:25

woman's feelings are like the weather

13:27

They change every day based on how

13:29

she's feeling and so guys make

13:32

the mistake say oh six months ago She

13:34

was totally in love with me. Well, that was

13:36

six months ago. It's not today if you look at her

13:38

actions today She's blowing you

13:40

off at the last minute and then going hanging

13:42

out with a married guy that she used to have

13:44

sex with And probably is having sex with He

13:48

Says we went through every memory we've had probably he

13:51

was the one bring it up because he's drooling all

13:53

over her thinking if I Just remind her of all

13:55

the good times and then she'll start feeling it again.

13:57

I Even got out

13:59

the hard drive with our photos.

14:03

Come on man. We kissed

14:05

and cuddled and slow danced in my house

14:08

until 3 a.m. We didn't have sex and

14:10

I didn't try because she was sore from

14:12

her IUD adjustment. Meanwhile

14:15

she's put... come on! And

14:18

I didn't even want to try. He says come on man

14:20

in parentheses because he knows after the fact he's like... So

14:24

after this night I thought I was making

14:26

some sort of progress because again he's trying

14:28

to... He's gonna chase her and

14:30

win her back over and so what's he do?

14:32

He goes right back

14:34

once again to the same behavior

14:36

that led to him getting rejected.

14:39

I invite her over for dinner next week. She

14:41

agrees and comes over and we make pasta but

14:44

she's cold. No signs of attraction.

14:46

Well it wasn't her idea. You chased her.

14:49

Seven principles get an ex back. It's very clear on

14:51

this and why you don't do it. If

14:54

she's the one that unilaterally ended the relationship it's

14:57

up to her to do all the calling,

14:59

texting, and pursuing and you just simply make

15:01

dates. But you're too impatient. You're too insecure

15:03

and you have the wrong mindset of I

15:05

gotta win her back. I gotta

15:07

convince her to like me. I gotta convince her to

15:09

pay attention to me. And so you're

15:11

acting like a girl. So if you act like a girl

15:14

and you in essence beg her to

15:16

come over and she comes over and

15:18

she's an ice queen it's like what do you expect?

15:20

It wasn't her idea. You should just let her be.

15:22

He says

15:24

she won't let me get close is

15:26

keeping her distance on purpose. So again

15:28

he's pursuing and trying to touch her.

15:30

He can't tell. He has no sensory

15:33

acuity. Granted I think he said he read

15:35

the book twice and it's still not clicking in his head

15:38

that he's doing the opposite with the book teaches. He's

15:40

totally run by his emotions. This

15:43

is why I say you got to read it 10 to 15 times. Reading

15:45

it twice and just trying to cherry pick a few things

15:48

here and there it's not going to work. So

15:51

we make dinner we hang out but at the end of the

15:53

night I just asked her what the deal is. What's

15:56

the deal? What are we? What's going on

15:58

your highness? Why don't you love

16:00

me? He's like, this is pathetic. This is the

16:02

kind of shit a woman would say. He

16:05

says, I was upset and perturbed. Masculinity

16:08

is calm. It's not upset and

16:10

perturbed. Being upset and perturbed

16:12

is feminine energy. Why? Because feminine energy is

16:14

chaos. So you're

16:16

acting like a chaotic, insecure

16:19

little girl. It's

16:22

about as unattractive as you can be

16:24

with a woman. Just

16:26

imagine if somebody filmed your interaction in your

16:28

conversation and showed it to a room full

16:31

of women. They would all be like, ugh.

16:36

She said last week she was just

16:39

drunk and she thought I wanted to

16:41

be friends. He

16:44

says, I lost my center here and I let her

16:46

know it's upsetting to hear all these nice things after

16:48

four months of torturing myself over

16:50

what happened. I

16:53

told her how I've changed my entire life

16:55

around trying to become someone ready

16:57

to do better in a relationship. He's trying

16:59

to prove himself to her. I've gone to

17:01

therapy and I have my own place, et

17:03

cetera. And why won't you love me, Mommy?

17:07

Dude, this is about as pathetic as you can be.

17:11

But there's more. Just wait. At

17:14

this point, I did start to tear

17:17

up. Oh, he must

17:19

have seen it in a Hallmark movie. And of

17:21

course, in the Hallmark movie, it works. But in

17:23

the real world, she's going, ugh. Dude,

17:26

when you're acting this way, you

17:28

basically make her pussy

17:30

dryer in a bucket of sand. It's

17:33

like a haunted house in the Sahara

17:36

Desert. There ain't nothing going on. Cobwebs,

17:39

dust, just it's not

17:41

happening. I

17:44

told her we aren't friends. We never

17:46

have been and we can't be now.

17:49

She asked me, why not? Why can't we just

17:51

check in with each other during the week? Which

17:54

she's really saying, why can't you just be a little

17:56

bitch like you have been and let me walk all

17:58

over you and treat you like shit? because you're such

18:00

a fucking pussy. That's why she's

18:02

saying it. I know I'm

18:05

being harsh but I hope I'm fucking shaking

18:07

you trying to wake you

18:09

up dude because this is absolutely

18:11

pathetic and unmasculin behavior. This

18:14

is not how a man acts. This is how

18:16

a little child acts. I

18:19

told her because this sort of thing is

18:21

killing me. If

18:25

you're in a hole stop digging you ever

18:27

heard that expression before but nope. He

18:30

figured if he just complained and bitched a lot

18:32

it would make her go oh my god my

18:34

pussy is like Niagara Falls let's have sex. I

18:42

told her I invited her over for dinner to

18:45

romance her and why would she even come over

18:47

if she felt like that. I

18:51

did cry to her. Oh my god.

18:57

And before she left I did say if she changed

18:59

her mind to let me know and she's going oh

19:02

boy I can't wait till the next time we see

19:04

each other. Oh my heart

19:07

just is going pitter-patter over this.

19:09

Dude you have to be more masculine

19:11

than the woman. She's coming over she's very

19:13

stoic she's very masculine and you're like why

19:15

don't you love me? They are.

19:19

Stella. It's

19:22

not attractive. I

19:25

told her I loved her and she said

19:27

it back. That

19:29

was a pity. A pity I love

19:31

you. It wasn't because she really loves you.

19:35

He says I'm back in permanent

19:37

no contact and after all the

19:39

emotions I displayed I can't imagine

19:41

I'll hear from her ever again.

19:43

Yeah probably not but then again she's

19:45

not somebody you want to have a

19:47

relationship anyways. What would have been in the right

19:49

move in that situation? Maybe to actually

19:51

apply what's in the book and

19:54

apply what's in seven principles get an ex back. Your

19:57

job in the courtship is just create an opportunity for

19:59

someone. to hang out, to have fun, to

20:01

hook up. So after

20:04

that weekend where you had a

20:06

good weekend together, you

20:09

wouldn't have called her. You wouldn't have texted her for

20:11

any reason. You wait

20:13

to hear from her when you finally do, assume

20:16

she wants to see you, make a date

20:18

in the evening at your place that

20:20

can lead to sex. Your job in the

20:22

courtship is just creating opportunity for sex, to have to hang

20:24

out, to have fun, and to hook up. And

20:27

where you made the mistake is you're trying to force

20:29

yourself into her life by calling and texting her and

20:31

trying to make a bunch of dates happen in

20:34

a short period of time. Women

20:36

need time and space away from you to wonder about

20:38

you, to think about you, and to miss you. And

20:41

in this case, you go no contact

20:43

because she doesn't want any romance. And

20:46

then you broke no contact after a month

20:48

and started pursuing her when you know she's

20:50

dating other guys. And then

20:53

you act pathetic and you cry in front of her

20:55

and you act like a little child that's like, this

20:58

is not attractive at all. If

21:01

you would have filmed that evening and showed it

21:03

to a bunch of women, they

21:05

would have all been totally

21:07

turned off. This is disgusting, this is pathetic,

21:09

it's weak, it's just don't ever do this

21:12

again, dude. If you wanna

21:14

feel this way, go cry and

21:16

your beard or your guy friends and never

21:19

ever do this with a woman

21:21

and never ever let anybody hear

21:23

about you behaving this way. I did an email

21:25

a couple months ago where a guy goes

21:28

over a mutual friend's house and his ex-girlfriend shows

21:30

up with a new guy that he's dating and

21:32

he's out in the front yard. Ahhh! Balling

21:36

his eyes out and all of his friends are seeing

21:39

it. And then of course they all go back inside

21:41

and they're all telling the girl what's

21:43

going on out in the front yard. And it's

21:45

like, oh man, you just cannot behave this way.

21:49

This is not adult behavior. So

21:55

she came over one week and gave me false soap, no,

21:58

you acted like a bitch, that's what happened. happened.

22:01

Because you don't understand how

22:03

attraction works, you don't understand how

22:05

to be masculine, and

22:07

even though you went through the book a couple of

22:09

times, you didn't do anything even remotely close to what's

22:11

in the book. So

22:13

none of your current circumstances should

22:16

be surprising to you. You did

22:18

this to yourself and you

22:20

have to be a man and accept personal

22:22

responsibility and quite frankly, you need

22:24

to find a way to laugh at this and laugh

22:26

at yourself because someday you're going to look back in

22:28

this film and I really was pathetic. I

22:31

never did anything like this but there's plenty

22:33

of emails and video newsletters over the years

22:35

where guys did things way worse. So don't

22:38

feel bad, you're in good company. I'm sure plenty of the

22:40

guys in the comments were like, yeah bro, I did it

22:42

too man. It's

22:44

not going to work. You just cannot behave this

22:46

way around women and expect them to

22:49

be attracted to you. In

22:51

the next week's dinner she treats me like we're

22:53

bros. It did upset me. Well that's because you

22:55

chased after her. Instead of

22:57

letting her come to you and then when she

22:59

leaves, hey call me later or whatever because again,

23:01

if she dumped you, she has to

23:03

do all the calling, texting and pursuing. It's laid out

23:06

right and some principals get an ex back but you

23:08

didn't follow it. You wanted to do it your way.

23:10

You wanted to continue pursuing and

23:12

continue being needy and neurotic. So

23:15

one week you act masculine and

23:17

attractive and the next week you're

23:19

absolutely disgusting and repulsive to her. I

23:23

tried to move on. I fucked a younger,

23:26

hotter, freakier girl and felt nothing. Well,

23:30

that's just one chick. The idea is

23:32

you're trying to find somebody you have

23:34

a mental connection with that you actually

23:36

enjoy spending time with. What you did

23:38

was you had sex with a girl

23:40

who was pretty and had a great

23:42

body but there was no emotional or

23:44

mental connection. So basically what you did

23:46

was glorified masturbation but congratulations. You

23:48

know you at least can find other

23:51

women. The key is to keep searching,

23:53

keep seeking until you find somebody that

23:55

is better in your ex and

23:57

the idea is you want to read the book 10 to 15 times. get

24:00

so good at applying it, you don't have

24:02

to think about it anymore. That's

24:05

what you need to do. What's

24:08

even worse is my ex told me the guy

24:10

she is seeing wants her to let him into

24:12

her heart so bad, but she

24:15

just can't and only really sees him

24:17

as a best friend. What

24:19

kind of fucked up shit is that? Well, she's

24:21

just telling you how she actually feels about the

24:24

other guy, and if you

24:27

would stop being a butt hurt baby and take

24:29

a step back and look at that, what

24:32

you realize is the other guy is quite

24:34

frankly even more pathetic than you are. So

24:37

you should feel threatened by him, but I

24:39

promise you if you keep calling, you keep

24:41

texting, you keep chasing after her and acting

24:43

like a bitch, you'll literally push

24:45

her right into the arms of this other guy.

24:48

That's why you just back off and do nothing. He

24:52

says, I can't be with someone

24:54

because it's better than nothing.

24:57

This was my first relationship at 29 because every

24:59

girl I've been with never was

25:01

interested past sex, but this girl did

25:04

and I fucked it up. Well

25:06

quite frankly, dude, you just now came across my

25:08

work and the way you've been going about it

25:11

your whole life is wrong. So

25:13

what happens is, because I can tell what happened

25:15

with this particular girl, is you're

25:18

great at meeting and dating

25:20

and picking up women, but as

25:23

soon as you start having sex and especially once

25:25

the girl becomes interested and

25:27

then you become interested, you become

25:29

unglued. In other words,

25:31

you turn into the opposite of how you

25:34

behave in the beginning. What

25:36

happens is you go from letting them pursue you

25:38

in the beginning and then you start acting like

25:40

a girl and you literally chase every single woman

25:43

right out of your life. That's what's happening. You

25:46

didn't realize what you're doing and obviously

25:49

even though you've been through the book twice, at least you claim

25:51

to have been through the book twice, you

25:54

haven't been able to make the connection there that

25:56

this is what's happening. When you really start

25:58

to like a girl, you in essence chase her out of your life.

26:00

to the point where she probably ghosts you or

26:02

friendzones you or doesn't want to see you anymore.

26:05

And if you look at all your interactions with this girl, you

26:07

let her come to you, she's all over you. But

26:10

as soon as you start pursuing her again, it's

26:12

no longer her idea and then she treats you

26:14

like a second class citizen. So

26:16

act like a man, she'll come to you when she's

26:18

ready and then you can make a date and seduce

26:21

her. And then when she leaves,

26:23

call me later. Let her reach out

26:25

to you. And

26:27

when she reaches out to you next, it means her

26:29

feelings have come back up, they've bubbled up, she's

26:32

ready to see you and make a date.

26:35

But you really should be treating this particular

26:37

girl as just one of the

26:39

girls in your practice squad because as you

26:41

said, she came from a broken family, she's

26:43

sleeping with a married guy, it's like you're

26:45

not going to fix her, you're not going

26:47

to be Captain Savo, you're not

26:49

going to turn her into an honest woman. You just

26:51

have to see reality as it is

26:54

because if you don't and you try

26:56

to wife up this girl, you're in for a world of

26:58

pain. And there's a ton of

27:00

videos I've done over the years and guys that did

27:02

exactly that. So

27:04

I hope that you listen to me and

27:06

I hope that you take this tongue lashing

27:08

that I've given you to heart and maybe

27:11

watch it several times and

27:13

cut out this pathetic behavior because it's

27:15

totally unattractive. There's nothing

27:17

wrong with you as a man other

27:19

than the fact that you're displaying unattractive

27:21

behavior and you learned dysfunctional

27:23

ways of showing up and acting like a

27:25

man. And when you act that

27:28

way, you're going to turn women up, cross the

27:30

board off and that includes women that really like

27:32

you. So you're talking women

27:34

out of liking you that are already predisposed to

27:36

like you, have sex with you and want a

27:38

relationship with you. So they're

27:40

into it first and you maintain enough mystery

27:43

but like you said earlier, when

27:46

she starts to become hooked, you become dopey and

27:48

then you just, you behave

27:50

the opposite of the

27:52

way a man is supposed to act and

27:54

that's not good. So you need to clean that shit up

27:56

man. Get it together. You can do it. or

28:00

challenge and you'd like to get my help, go

28:02

to understandingrelationships.com, click the products tab at the top

28:04

of your screen on any page of my website,

28:07

and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until

28:10

next time, I will talk

28:12

to you soon.

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