Episode Transcript
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This episode is brought to you by Bumble.
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I'm Coach Cory Wayne, and this is
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my video coaching newsletter. And the topic
0:33
of today's newsletter is going to be
0:35
why you never break no contact when
0:37
you want her back. Well
0:40
this particular email, this guy is new to my work, so
0:42
there's a lot of things you're going to see in his
0:44
email. You're going to be shaking your head and going, dude,
0:46
come on. But he's only been
0:49
following me for about four months, and he says
0:51
he's read 3% Man twice
0:53
so far. And he says what happened was he
0:56
started dating this girl, really liked
0:58
her, but he said once she fell in love
1:00
with him, he just became totally dopey, drunk
1:03
with love, and just things
1:05
went completely sideways. She
1:08
broke it off, and
1:10
now he's trying to get another
1:12
chance. And so he vacillates between
1:14
allowing her to come back to
1:16
him at her pace so
1:18
he can potentially give her another chance
1:20
to win him over. And
1:23
then the very next day or a few
1:26
days later, he goes back to chasing and
1:28
pursuing, and then he ends up
1:30
pushing her away. And
1:32
then he made the further mistake of
1:35
getting really upset, really frustrated that
1:37
she wasn't as into him as he was
1:39
into her. And
1:42
the reality is women are going to
1:44
find men way more attractive if they
1:46
think that they're way
1:48
more into the guy than the guy is into them. And if you got
1:50
a room of 100 women together and you ask her, they go, oh no,
1:52
it should be a bit of a bit of a dick, or a... The
1:55
reality is what they actually emotionally
1:58
respond to despite what what
2:00
most women think is
2:02
that it's a scientific fact that women are
2:04
more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.
2:06
They like you more if they think they're
2:08
more into you than you are into them
2:11
and then they're going to try to win
2:13
you over. And the reason
2:15
why when the guy behaves this
2:17
way, when the guy behaves like
2:19
he's more into her than she
2:21
is into him, he's trying to
2:23
win her over instead of letting
2:25
her win him over. And
2:27
women are just naturally designed to
2:30
do this. Feminine
2:32
energy pulls the masculine energy in.
2:35
It entices the masculine
2:37
energy. The masculine energy creates
2:39
the container of safety for
2:42
the feminine energy to be submissive, to
2:44
be feminine, to be girly, to basically
2:46
let go and let the guy have
2:48
his way with her. But
2:50
you have to be more masculine than she
2:52
is in order for her to feel safe
2:55
enough to totally relax into her feminine energy.
2:57
In this case, this guy is not doing
2:59
that. He's not creating
3:01
a strong container where she
3:03
can let go because she's
3:05
constantly dealing with his neurotic,
3:08
needy desires and the fact that
3:10
he obviously didn't get enough strokes as a kid
3:13
from his parents. And so
3:15
he's incredibly insecure and incredibly needy
3:17
and he treats this girl more
3:19
like his mommy and his therapist
3:22
than a teammate and an equal
3:24
and a woman he's going
3:26
to allow to love him.
3:29
Because love is allowing after all. In
3:31
other words, you create the conditions where
3:33
you allow the person who's already predisposed
3:35
to like you, to like
3:38
you more and to pursue you and
3:40
to make the effort and to get
3:42
your attention. And when they get your attention,
3:44
then you give them your presence.
3:46
If you're constantly seeking and pursuing
3:48
and chasing, you in essence
3:51
are taking all of her fun away. You're
3:53
acting like a girl and what it
3:55
does from a sexual polarity standpoint, it
3:57
completely turns the woman off. And
4:00
she might have had strong romantic feelings just
4:02
the day before, but when you act like
4:04
a chick, now her feelings are platonic
4:07
because of the way that
4:09
you're showing up. But again, this guy's brand new
4:11
to the work, so we can't expect
4:13
him to be an expert. But he
4:17
just, like I said, you'll see later in
4:19
the email, he just totally loses his shit
4:21
with this girl. And
4:23
that just starts whining about what she's
4:26
not doing. If
4:28
you whine to a woman and then she
4:30
does what you've asked her to
4:32
do when you're whining, she's not doing it because
4:35
she thought you're attractive and it turns her on.
4:37
She's doing it out of guilt. It's like
4:39
it's out of pity. And you don't
4:42
want to pity fuck. You want a woman who wants to tear
4:44
your clothes off and fuck your brains out because
4:46
she admires you, she respects you, she
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looks up to you, she
4:50
trusts your leadership, she trusts your judgment.
4:53
And the way this guy is behaving, he's behaving
4:55
like a man-baby, like a child, like a kid
4:57
that's throwing a temper tantrum in
4:59
the grocery store when he put a bag of M&Ms in
5:01
the cart and his mom said, no, no more sugar. And
5:04
she put it back in the shelf. I'm sure we've all at
5:06
some point seen a kid at the grocery
5:08
store with his mom and she won't let him do
5:10
what he wants or buy what he wants. He
5:13
lays down on the ground and starts
5:15
kicking and screaming and making a complete
5:17
ass out of himself, which is basically,
5:19
metaphorically, kind of how this guy will
5:21
behave. And you'll see in a minute,
5:23
it's pretty disgusting for a man to say and do the
5:25
things that he did.
5:27
So it's a good email to learn from and what
5:30
not to do. He
5:32
says, hey, coach, I've read the book twice. I've been
5:35
a follower for four months after my girlfriend left me
5:37
after a five month relationship. I
5:41
was a secure, masculine, leading man
5:43
until she said she
5:45
loved me. I immediately let
5:47
it go to my head, got dopey,
5:50
didn't know how to communicate or open
5:52
her up and she became unsure. So
5:56
he started out as secure,
5:58
masculine, leading man. and then
6:01
he reverted back to
6:03
a little girl in essence. He
6:08
says she's also not a healthy woman, no father,
6:10
the mom had her at 16 and
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resented her for it, leaving her a
6:15
hot and cold mess and as you will see
6:17
doesn't value monogamy or
6:20
loyalty. Well this
6:22
is not somebody that you should be trying to make
6:24
your girlfriend. This is somebody
6:26
that's a sex playmate, fuck buddy, friends
6:28
with benefits, you should definitely wear a
6:31
raincoat with her but it's
6:33
not somebody you get into a relationship with.
6:35
She comes from a broken home and she
6:37
doesn't value loyalty or monogamy, you should not
6:39
be talking to me about how do I
6:41
make her my girlfriend again. That's
6:43
just the wrong mindset, you should be trying to lock a
6:45
girl like that down. She
6:49
said I didn't think about
6:51
the consequences of being in a
6:53
relationship before we did but I'm
6:56
not ready for a relationship and don't
6:58
know when I will be. When
7:00
a woman says that despite the fact she's
7:02
messed up what she's really saying
7:05
is you're smothering me, you're acting
7:07
like a girl, you're controlling. In other
7:09
words remember the Tichdown Han quote, you
7:11
must love in such a way that
7:13
the person you love feels free and
7:16
so he's smothering her not because he wants to
7:18
show her how much he loves her, he's
7:20
smothering her because he's afraid of losing her
7:23
and afraid that she's not going to continually
7:25
love him because again this is
7:28
what he learned in child that he didn't get enough strokes
7:30
as a kid and so when a
7:32
guy grows up after growing up in that
7:34
environment he tries to force himself into a
7:37
woman's life. He calls too much, he texts
7:39
too much, he tries to
7:41
create reasons to call her and to reach
7:43
out and more reasons to get together than
7:45
she's ready for and just
7:48
smothers her and then
7:50
typically as the woman starts to back away
7:52
and lose interest then the guy
7:54
pursues even more because now he's really afraid because
7:56
he can feel that she's backing away and he's
7:58
thinking I got to do something. I got
8:00
to get her like me and I got to get her back to
8:02
where she was a few weeks ago.
8:06
He says after our breakup I didn't
8:09
follow no contact. So
8:11
he was smothering her to the point where she didn't
8:13
want anything to do with him anymore, dumped
8:15
him, broke up with him and he didn't
8:17
stop. He just kept going forward. He
8:20
says I proceeded to talk to her for two months
8:22
trying to get her back while she started talking with
8:25
a new guy. Yeah, when you do that and you
8:27
chase after somebody that's dumped you, every
8:29
time you contact her you're just further reinforcing
8:31
that she made it a good decision by
8:33
dumping you. Because the
8:35
man who loves and values himself and sees himself as
8:38
a prize and a catch is like she
8:40
doesn't want me okay I'm going to go find somebody else then. And
8:43
he goes and he does that. But a
8:45
guy who's insecure, has no choices, no options is
8:47
going to keep pursuing the woman that stuck
8:49
him in friend zone. Meanwhile
8:51
she's telling him about the new guys that she's
8:53
meeting and he's hoping he's going to change her
8:55
mind. Because that's what you see again in
8:57
movies and TV. But in the real world it
9:00
doesn't work. He
9:03
says I tried to do no contact for one
9:05
month and then reach back out like an idiot.
9:08
Well again no contact is not a strategy.
9:12
No contact means that the
9:14
negotiation is over and
9:16
the two of you are at an impasse. You
9:19
want sex and romance? She wants
9:21
to give you blue balls, free attention
9:23
and validation for her. No
9:26
sex, no romance, none of what you want.
9:29
And so when you're that far apart
9:31
you say well hey if you
9:33
change your mind get in touch. If not hey it's been
9:35
great. And then you
9:37
walk away and you never look back. The
9:39
strongest negotiating position is being able to
9:41
walk away and mean it. And he didn't mean it. So
9:44
he doesn't have the balls to say
9:46
I don't like the way I'm being treated and
9:49
leave forever. And
9:51
women want to know, they need to know. If
9:54
you're really going to own her heart, women
9:56
have to know that they push you too far you'll walk
9:59
and never look back. So he walked, but then
10:01
he started running back after, which just makes him
10:03
look weak and pathetic. So
10:07
he says, thinking I could just win her
10:09
back, or will her back, I began chasing
10:11
again. Well, you chased her, and that's what
10:13
caused her to dump you. And
10:16
so after you get dumped, a
10:18
month goes by, and then you hadn't heard from her, and
10:20
then you're like, oh, let me start chasing her again to
10:22
see how that'll work. One
10:24
day, she suggested we go rock climbing at
10:26
the local university, and I agreed. By
10:29
this time, I was ready to go, and she
10:31
decided she was sore from her recent appointment to
10:34
her gynecologist and wasn't up for it.
10:37
I still went to meet new chicks and people.
10:39
So she canceled the date on it. He
10:44
says, after I was done, I noticed she
10:46
posted a story at the casino with a
10:48
married man she used to have sex with.
10:52
So he went no contact for a month,
10:54
he couldn't take it, he starts pursuing her
10:56
again. She makes plans to go rock climbing,
10:58
and then blows them off, going, oh, I'm
11:00
just too sore after the gynecologist. And
11:04
then next thing he sees on her
11:06
social media is she's hanging out with
11:08
some married guy banging him. Remember, she's
11:10
too sore after the gynecologist. It
11:13
sounds legit, right? But she just told him
11:15
a lie and totally deceived him. This
11:19
is why you don't chase somebody that blows you
11:21
off. Because it just
11:23
shows you don't value or respect your time
11:25
or yourself, and therefore she doesn't either. That's
11:27
why she just blows you
11:29
off, says, yeah, I'm a little sore down
11:32
there, I don't really wanna strain myself too
11:34
much. But by the way, I'm gonna go
11:36
hang out with Chad Thundercock and have him
11:38
rearrange my insides, even though he's married, I'm
11:40
sure his wife won't mind or find out.
11:43
And oh, by the way, we're going to a casino, maybe I'll
11:45
win some money. Maybe he'll buy me
11:47
a nice handbag. So
11:52
he says, weird, I went home and cooked dinner,
11:54
and she texted me all drunk that she wanted
11:56
to come over. I said, sure, come
11:59
over, let's have some dinner. I
12:01
was making crab cakes from scratch and she said oh
12:03
I love crab As soon
12:05
as she got to my place she told me she
12:08
didn't like seafood He says weird again. Yeah, because she's
12:10
punking you because she thinks you're a bitch, and you
12:12
mostly act like a bitch Women
12:16
do that just to see to fuck with you
12:18
to see how you handle it He
12:21
says she came over drunk, but we had a great
12:23
time And I truly thought she didn't even care about
12:25
the amazing five months. We spent together Where
12:28
we went on trips and had so many memorable
12:31
experiences. She's 26 and I'm 29 Yeah,
12:35
what you gotta understand is though those
12:37
five months that's all your idea of
12:39
how things Were going and
12:42
whatever she said during those five months.
12:44
She meant it at the time. It doesn't apply today The
12:48
fact that she's sleeping with a married
12:50
guy canceling dates with you and blowing you off
12:53
But then she could just come over at a
12:56
moment's notice after she's blown you off It
12:58
just shows you don't respect yourself You don't
13:00
value your time either and since you don't
13:02
value your time she certainly doesn't that's
13:04
why she jerks you around Cuz she doesn't care and
13:06
she knows that you don't really care that you'll put
13:08
up with it He
13:11
says but her being drunk let her push
13:14
past her emotional wall She told me she
13:16
thinks about us all the time
13:18
and that the relationship really was as good as I thought
13:20
it was But again,
13:22
that's in the past a
13:25
woman's feelings are like the weather
13:27
They change every day based on how
13:29
she's feeling and so guys make
13:32
the mistake say oh six months ago She
13:34
was totally in love with me. Well, that was
13:36
six months ago. It's not today if you look at her
13:38
actions today She's blowing you
13:40
off at the last minute and then going hanging
13:42
out with a married guy that she used to have
13:44
sex with And probably is having sex with He
13:48
Says we went through every memory we've had probably he
13:51
was the one bring it up because he's drooling all
13:53
over her thinking if I Just remind her of all
13:55
the good times and then she'll start feeling it again.
13:57
I Even got out
13:59
the hard drive with our photos.
14:03
Come on man. We kissed
14:05
and cuddled and slow danced in my house
14:08
until 3 a.m. We didn't have sex and
14:10
I didn't try because she was sore from
14:12
her IUD adjustment. Meanwhile
14:15
she's put... come on! And
14:18
I didn't even want to try. He says come on man
14:20
in parentheses because he knows after the fact he's like... So
14:24
after this night I thought I was making
14:26
some sort of progress because again he's trying
14:28
to... He's gonna chase her and
14:30
win her back over and so what's he do?
14:32
He goes right back
14:34
once again to the same behavior
14:36
that led to him getting rejected.
14:39
I invite her over for dinner next week. She
14:41
agrees and comes over and we make pasta but
14:44
she's cold. No signs of attraction.
14:46
Well it wasn't her idea. You chased her.
14:49
Seven principles get an ex back. It's very clear on
14:51
this and why you don't do it. If
14:54
she's the one that unilaterally ended the relationship it's
14:57
up to her to do all the calling,
14:59
texting, and pursuing and you just simply make
15:01
dates. But you're too impatient. You're too insecure
15:03
and you have the wrong mindset of I
15:05
gotta win her back. I gotta
15:07
convince her to like me. I gotta convince her to
15:09
pay attention to me. And so you're
15:11
acting like a girl. So if you act like a girl
15:14
and you in essence beg her to
15:16
come over and she comes over and
15:18
she's an ice queen it's like what do you expect?
15:20
It wasn't her idea. You should just let her be.
15:22
He says
15:24
she won't let me get close is
15:26
keeping her distance on purpose. So again
15:28
he's pursuing and trying to touch her.
15:30
He can't tell. He has no sensory
15:33
acuity. Granted I think he said he read
15:35
the book twice and it's still not clicking in his head
15:38
that he's doing the opposite with the book teaches. He's
15:40
totally run by his emotions. This
15:43
is why I say you got to read it 10 to 15 times. Reading
15:45
it twice and just trying to cherry pick a few things
15:48
here and there it's not going to work. So
15:51
we make dinner we hang out but at the end of the
15:53
night I just asked her what the deal is. What's
15:56
the deal? What are we? What's going on
15:58
your highness? Why don't you love
16:00
me? He's like, this is pathetic. This is the
16:02
kind of shit a woman would say. He
16:05
says, I was upset and perturbed. Masculinity
16:08
is calm. It's not upset and
16:10
perturbed. Being upset and perturbed
16:12
is feminine energy. Why? Because feminine energy is
16:14
chaos. So you're
16:16
acting like a chaotic, insecure
16:19
little girl. It's
16:22
about as unattractive as you can be
16:24
with a woman. Just
16:26
imagine if somebody filmed your interaction in your
16:28
conversation and showed it to a room full
16:31
of women. They would all be like, ugh.
16:36
She said last week she was just
16:39
drunk and she thought I wanted to
16:41
be friends. He
16:44
says, I lost my center here and I let her
16:46
know it's upsetting to hear all these nice things after
16:48
four months of torturing myself over
16:50
what happened. I
16:53
told her how I've changed my entire life
16:55
around trying to become someone ready
16:57
to do better in a relationship. He's trying
16:59
to prove himself to her. I've gone to
17:01
therapy and I have my own place, et
17:03
cetera. And why won't you love me, Mommy?
17:07
Dude, this is about as pathetic as you can be.
17:11
But there's more. Just wait. At
17:14
this point, I did start to tear
17:17
up. Oh, he must
17:19
have seen it in a Hallmark movie. And of
17:21
course, in the Hallmark movie, it works. But in
17:23
the real world, she's going, ugh. Dude,
17:26
when you're acting this way, you
17:28
basically make her pussy
17:30
dryer in a bucket of sand. It's
17:33
like a haunted house in the Sahara
17:36
Desert. There ain't nothing going on. Cobwebs,
17:39
dust, just it's not
17:41
happening. I
17:44
told her we aren't friends. We never
17:46
have been and we can't be now.
17:49
She asked me, why not? Why can't we just
17:51
check in with each other during the week? Which
17:54
she's really saying, why can't you just be a little
17:56
bitch like you have been and let me walk all
17:58
over you and treat you like shit? because you're such
18:00
a fucking pussy. That's why she's
18:02
saying it. I know I'm
18:05
being harsh but I hope I'm fucking shaking
18:07
you trying to wake you
18:09
up dude because this is absolutely
18:11
pathetic and unmasculin behavior. This
18:14
is not how a man acts. This is how
18:16
a little child acts. I
18:19
told her because this sort of thing is
18:21
killing me. If
18:25
you're in a hole stop digging you ever
18:27
heard that expression before but nope. He
18:30
figured if he just complained and bitched a lot
18:32
it would make her go oh my god my
18:34
pussy is like Niagara Falls let's have sex. I
18:42
told her I invited her over for dinner to
18:45
romance her and why would she even come over
18:47
if she felt like that. I
18:51
did cry to her. Oh my god.
18:57
And before she left I did say if she changed
18:59
her mind to let me know and she's going oh
19:02
boy I can't wait till the next time we see
19:04
each other. Oh my heart
19:07
just is going pitter-patter over this.
19:09
Dude you have to be more masculine
19:11
than the woman. She's coming over she's very
19:13
stoic she's very masculine and you're like why
19:15
don't you love me? They are.
19:19
Stella. It's
19:22
not attractive. I
19:25
told her I loved her and she said
19:27
it back. That
19:29
was a pity. A pity I love
19:31
you. It wasn't because she really loves you.
19:35
He says I'm back in permanent
19:37
no contact and after all the
19:39
emotions I displayed I can't imagine
19:41
I'll hear from her ever again.
19:43
Yeah probably not but then again she's
19:45
not somebody you want to have a
19:47
relationship anyways. What would have been in the right
19:49
move in that situation? Maybe to actually
19:51
apply what's in the book and
19:54
apply what's in seven principles get an ex back. Your
19:57
job in the courtship is just create an opportunity for
19:59
someone. to hang out, to have fun, to
20:01
hook up. So after
20:04
that weekend where you had a
20:06
good weekend together, you
20:09
wouldn't have called her. You wouldn't have texted her for
20:11
any reason. You wait
20:13
to hear from her when you finally do, assume
20:16
she wants to see you, make a date
20:18
in the evening at your place that
20:20
can lead to sex. Your job in the
20:22
courtship is just creating opportunity for sex, to have to hang
20:24
out, to have fun, and to hook up. And
20:27
where you made the mistake is you're trying to force
20:29
yourself into her life by calling and texting her and
20:31
trying to make a bunch of dates happen in
20:34
a short period of time. Women
20:36
need time and space away from you to wonder about
20:38
you, to think about you, and to miss you. And
20:41
in this case, you go no contact
20:43
because she doesn't want any romance. And
20:46
then you broke no contact after a month
20:48
and started pursuing her when you know she's
20:50
dating other guys. And then
20:53
you act pathetic and you cry in front of her
20:55
and you act like a little child that's like, this
20:58
is not attractive at all. If
21:01
you would have filmed that evening and showed it
21:03
to a bunch of women, they
21:05
would have all been totally
21:07
turned off. This is disgusting, this is pathetic,
21:09
it's weak, it's just don't ever do this
21:12
again, dude. If you wanna
21:14
feel this way, go cry and
21:16
your beard or your guy friends and never
21:19
ever do this with a woman
21:21
and never ever let anybody hear
21:23
about you behaving this way. I did an email
21:25
a couple months ago where a guy goes
21:28
over a mutual friend's house and his ex-girlfriend shows
21:30
up with a new guy that he's dating and
21:32
he's out in the front yard. Ahhh! Balling
21:36
his eyes out and all of his friends are seeing
21:39
it. And then of course they all go back inside
21:41
and they're all telling the girl what's
21:43
going on out in the front yard. And it's
21:45
like, oh man, you just cannot behave this way.
21:49
This is not adult behavior. So
21:55
she came over one week and gave me false soap, no,
21:58
you acted like a bitch, that's what happened. happened.
22:01
Because you don't understand how
22:03
attraction works, you don't understand how
22:05
to be masculine, and
22:07
even though you went through the book a couple of
22:09
times, you didn't do anything even remotely close to what's
22:11
in the book. So
22:13
none of your current circumstances should
22:16
be surprising to you. You did
22:18
this to yourself and you
22:20
have to be a man and accept personal
22:22
responsibility and quite frankly, you need
22:24
to find a way to laugh at this and laugh
22:26
at yourself because someday you're going to look back in
22:28
this film and I really was pathetic. I
22:31
never did anything like this but there's plenty
22:33
of emails and video newsletters over the years
22:35
where guys did things way worse. So don't
22:38
feel bad, you're in good company. I'm sure plenty of the
22:40
guys in the comments were like, yeah bro, I did it
22:42
too man. It's
22:44
not going to work. You just cannot behave this
22:46
way around women and expect them to
22:49
be attracted to you. In
22:51
the next week's dinner she treats me like we're
22:53
bros. It did upset me. Well that's because you
22:55
chased after her. Instead of
22:57
letting her come to you and then when she
22:59
leaves, hey call me later or whatever because again,
23:01
if she dumped you, she has to
23:03
do all the calling, texting and pursuing. It's laid out
23:06
right and some principals get an ex back but you
23:08
didn't follow it. You wanted to do it your way.
23:10
You wanted to continue pursuing and
23:12
continue being needy and neurotic. So
23:15
one week you act masculine and
23:17
attractive and the next week you're
23:19
absolutely disgusting and repulsive to her. I
23:23
tried to move on. I fucked a younger,
23:26
hotter, freakier girl and felt nothing. Well,
23:30
that's just one chick. The idea is
23:32
you're trying to find somebody you have
23:34
a mental connection with that you actually
23:36
enjoy spending time with. What you did
23:38
was you had sex with a girl
23:40
who was pretty and had a great
23:42
body but there was no emotional or
23:44
mental connection. So basically what you did
23:46
was glorified masturbation but congratulations. You
23:48
know you at least can find other
23:51
women. The key is to keep searching,
23:53
keep seeking until you find somebody that
23:55
is better in your ex and
23:57
the idea is you want to read the book 10 to 15 times. get
24:00
so good at applying it, you don't have
24:02
to think about it anymore. That's
24:05
what you need to do. What's
24:08
even worse is my ex told me the guy
24:10
she is seeing wants her to let him into
24:12
her heart so bad, but she
24:15
just can't and only really sees him
24:17
as a best friend. What
24:19
kind of fucked up shit is that? Well, she's
24:21
just telling you how she actually feels about the
24:24
other guy, and if you
24:27
would stop being a butt hurt baby and take
24:29
a step back and look at that, what
24:32
you realize is the other guy is quite
24:34
frankly even more pathetic than you are. So
24:37
you should feel threatened by him, but I
24:39
promise you if you keep calling, you keep
24:41
texting, you keep chasing after her and acting
24:43
like a bitch, you'll literally push
24:45
her right into the arms of this other guy.
24:48
That's why you just back off and do nothing. He
24:52
says, I can't be with someone
24:54
because it's better than nothing.
24:57
This was my first relationship at 29 because every
24:59
girl I've been with never was
25:01
interested past sex, but this girl did
25:04
and I fucked it up. Well
25:06
quite frankly, dude, you just now came across my
25:08
work and the way you've been going about it
25:11
your whole life is wrong. So
25:13
what happens is, because I can tell what happened
25:15
with this particular girl, is you're
25:18
great at meeting and dating
25:20
and picking up women, but as
25:23
soon as you start having sex and especially once
25:25
the girl becomes interested and
25:27
then you become interested, you become
25:29
unglued. In other words,
25:31
you turn into the opposite of how you
25:34
behave in the beginning. What
25:36
happens is you go from letting them pursue you
25:38
in the beginning and then you start acting like
25:40
a girl and you literally chase every single woman
25:43
right out of your life. That's what's happening. You
25:46
didn't realize what you're doing and obviously
25:49
even though you've been through the book twice, at least you claim
25:51
to have been through the book twice, you
25:54
haven't been able to make the connection there that
25:56
this is what's happening. When you really start
25:58
to like a girl, you in essence chase her out of your life.
26:00
to the point where she probably ghosts you or
26:02
friendzones you or doesn't want to see you anymore.
26:05
And if you look at all your interactions with this girl, you
26:07
let her come to you, she's all over you. But
26:10
as soon as you start pursuing her again, it's
26:12
no longer her idea and then she treats you
26:14
like a second class citizen. So
26:16
act like a man, she'll come to you when she's
26:18
ready and then you can make a date and seduce
26:21
her. And then when she leaves,
26:23
call me later. Let her reach out
26:25
to you. And
26:27
when she reaches out to you next, it means her
26:29
feelings have come back up, they've bubbled up, she's
26:32
ready to see you and make a date.
26:35
But you really should be treating this particular
26:37
girl as just one of the
26:39
girls in your practice squad because as you
26:41
said, she came from a broken family, she's
26:43
sleeping with a married guy, it's like you're
26:45
not going to fix her, you're not going
26:47
to be Captain Savo, you're not
26:49
going to turn her into an honest woman. You just
26:51
have to see reality as it is
26:54
because if you don't and you try
26:56
to wife up this girl, you're in for a world of
26:58
pain. And there's a ton of
27:00
videos I've done over the years and guys that did
27:02
exactly that. So
27:04
I hope that you listen to me and
27:06
I hope that you take this tongue lashing
27:08
that I've given you to heart and maybe
27:11
watch it several times and
27:13
cut out this pathetic behavior because it's
27:15
totally unattractive. There's nothing
27:17
wrong with you as a man other
27:19
than the fact that you're displaying unattractive
27:21
behavior and you learned dysfunctional
27:23
ways of showing up and acting like a
27:25
man. And when you act that
27:28
way, you're going to turn women up, cross the
27:30
board off and that includes women that really like
27:32
you. So you're talking women
27:34
out of liking you that are already predisposed to
27:36
like you, have sex with you and want a
27:38
relationship with you. So they're
27:40
into it first and you maintain enough mystery
27:43
but like you said earlier, when
27:46
she starts to become hooked, you become dopey and
27:48
then you just, you behave
27:50
the opposite of the
27:52
way a man is supposed to act and
27:54
that's not good. So you need to clean that shit up
27:56
man. Get it together. You can do it. or
28:00
challenge and you'd like to get my help, go
28:02
to understandingrelationships.com, click the products tab at the top
28:04
of your screen on any page of my website,
28:07
and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until
28:10
next time, I will talk
28:12
to you soon.
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