There is a holiday song that always makes my husband and I laugh. It is Bob Rivers singing "The Twelve Pains of Christmas," and it's funny because it is sadly and hilariously true. The lyrics are the first thing about Christmas that's such a pain to me and he goes through a list. The first one is finding a Christmas tree, rigging up the lights, and hangovers. The fourth one is sending Christmas cards, five months of bills, and the sixth one is facing in-laws. He goes through other stressors as well like finding gifts, crying kids, charity donations, crowds, parking, you get the point. We all know that the holidays can be stressful and overwhelming. Let's add on the pressure for families to magically get along and you have a very dysfunctional bow on a very stressful holiday package. 

There can be conflict within your own family around supporting law enforcement, pressures to visit people, making the perfect dinner, and looking just so perfect for that event that you have to go to. At times, family and friends don’t really understand that you as an officer, or your spouse can't just survive on two hours of sleep to go to that family dinner or be present at the exact time that everybody's getting together. 

So how do you get through the holiday without overwhelming anxiety or anger? 

How do you be with people who know just the right thing to say to trigger you?  

Maybe you wind up feeling incredibly small or maybe you want to blow up and tell them off? 

How do you support your spouse when you know that they're triggered by your family or theirs?  

Let's talk about some of the conversations to have as a couple and how you can learn to respond to those people who know how to push your buttons so you can get through your own happy holiday.