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I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What

1:00

do you say? Thank you. This is

1:03

Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay

1:05

Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That

1:08

does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very

1:10

attacked by you. A spirited

1:12

discussion about motherhood, friendship, family,

1:15

and life in the public eye. I'm just not with

1:17

the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery

1:19

around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay.

1:23

Welcome. Welcome.

1:25

Why was that so formal? Welcome

1:28

to Coffee Convos. I should have also

1:30

worn a hat today. I

1:32

just need to know at what point we

1:35

as women that

1:37

live in suburban areas

1:40

feel like we need to wear Carhartt hats. I

1:43

actually love it. You

1:46

and Chelsea from Teen Mom, I think, were the first

1:48

people to like do it in

1:50

a cute way and like make it cute.

1:54

I can't pull off beanies. I've tried. So

1:57

I get really upset, but I also I just should have

1:59

worn it. some sort of hat because the

2:02

hair is not hearing today. Okay, but

2:05

the thing with beanies is you have to learn

2:07

how to like set your hair

2:10

in the beanie the right way.

2:11

Okay, so that's the trick. I also just

2:13

think I just am not like I could

2:15

probably wear like a regular hat with

2:18

like a ball cap. But a beanie, I

2:20

don't know if it's how big my head is. I don't

2:22

know if it's how round my head is. Like I'm

2:24

not sure. When am I ever not wearing a

2:26

hat? No,

2:27

you always have hats on.

2:29

Always. I'm like, you know what, that should

2:31

have been something that I incorporated

2:34

in my business to do like a hat situation.

2:37

You should. Actually, now that, yeah,

2:39

why don't you collab with a brand or like

2:41

do a merch line of your own hats

2:44

because you could do beanies and ball caps. Wouldn't

2:46

that be so cute? That would be so cute.

2:49

And I feel like I know

2:51

everything about hats more than men do

2:53

not come for me about this because I wear them

2:56

every single day.

2:57

Good morning, Coffee

2:59

Convos podcast. Good morning.

3:02

Welcome to our

3:04

November bonus episode,

3:06

Thanksgiving. I need to tell you what happened

3:08

to me today. Totally. I

3:11

was talking last night and today. So

3:13

I receive a text message that

3:15

there is an alleged alcoholic

3:19

man in my neighborhood.

3:23

Okay. Allegedly,

3:25

this man. Time out. Do you have a group member like

3:28

years ago you talked about your neighborhood

3:30

having like a dog walk walk chat

3:32

or something. Oh, I got shut

3:34

down.

3:34

Okay, so this

3:37

neighborhood also have that.

3:39

So there's just some people

3:41

that update me because they know that

3:43

I'm not a part of any of those chats.

3:46

Got it. Okay. I

3:49

get the personal

3:49

text. Okay. I'm not part of the neighborhood Facebook

3:52

group. Never been part of the neighborhood Facebook

3:54

group of any neighborhood that I have ever lived in. Don't

3:57

care what's going on in here. Your business

3:59

is your business. my business is my business, mind

4:01

your business.

4:04

I was a part of a neighborhood group

4:07

chat dog walk situation when

4:09

we first moved here and got Georgia, but

4:11

there's a leash law in Georgia. So

4:14

you always have to have your dog on a leash

4:16

and we would let our dogs,

4:18

non-vicious dogs, go and

4:21

play in like the little local green

4:25

space in our neighborhood. Um,

4:27

allegedly someone got very upset about that and

4:30

contacted the HOA and they

4:33

shut down the dog gang and we

4:35

no longer were allowed to play. So that was very devastating

4:38

for us. Georgia was very upset that

4:40

she no longer had friends that she could play with.

4:43

So

4:44

at that point, I just have never communicated

4:46

in any type of group since then.

4:48

Um, I

4:50

do have PTSD. So I get this message

4:53

that there is this alleged

4:56

alcoholic man in our neighborhood

4:58

who drinks, handles a vodka

5:02

daily straight, um,

5:04

to the point that he was placed

5:07

in the ICU for nine

5:09

days, um, had esophageal

5:12

issues. Allegedly,

5:15

he has been going through a divorce and

5:18

is doing split custody with his

5:21

child and just going through like lots of

5:23

life things. Okay. So I'm like,

5:25

okay, maybe that's like the way he's coping

5:28

and he took it way too far. And

5:30

this man needs help so much so

5:32

that law enforcement came

5:35

out allegedly last

5:37

night and removed all firearms

5:40

from his home. And

5:42

they were walking out with guns like

5:44

AK-47s. So that

5:47

this man owned? Yes.

5:50

Okay. So

5:51

I am alarmed. Um, I was

5:53

also told what this man looked like.

5:56

Um, height, weight description.

5:58

If he ever approached me to

6:00

keep walking and now I'm absolutely

6:03

terrified.

6:04

Yeah because I mean

6:06

trends not there all the time you're a single mom

6:09

and

6:09

your number one thing is

6:12

to protect yourself and your son always right

6:15

so

6:15

correct it's it's terrifying because

6:18

maybe on a regular day he would be fine but

6:20

because he's

6:20

going through so much and he's drinking and

6:23

people are alarmed racist

6:26

like

6:26

it heightens everything. And now I'm

6:28

alarmed by like the firearms did they go

6:31

through every part of his

6:33

home which is like a search warrant in some

6:35

way did they get everything

6:37

or is he like loose with

6:39

a firearm should we be alarmed

6:42

that we're in some type of danger I'm very

6:45

unwell so I now

6:48

have become the neighbor that I

6:50

pull into the garage and immediately

6:53

close the door and go inside and then I go

6:55

out in the garage get in my car and

6:57

lift it up and I'm like I'm gonna have

6:59

another garage mishap because I'm gonna forget

7:02

to damn things close back out

7:04

it's just as if

7:06

the world is not scary enough you

7:08

know

7:08

like if we weren't already doing those certain

7:11

things like I make sure I can pull into

7:12

my garage every day I every day

7:15

every single day and I have never been able

7:17

to do that because I've always

7:18

had like stuff in my garage

7:19

but that was like the one thing when I moved

7:21

was like this time I'm gonna be able to park in my garage

7:24

at all times

7:25

but now you have to be concerned about a

7:27

literal neighbor I mean the on the flip side of it

7:29

is that like

7:30

you are warned and it didn't just happen

7:33

without warning so

7:34

like there's like a little bit of comfort

7:37

in that and also everyone's probably

7:39

on high alert

7:40

I hope that you guys say say say say

7:43

but my concern is was it

7:45

like nosy neighbors have you ever heard

7:47

of like neighborhood watch

7:49

yes I don't live in a neighborhood but we have

7:51

there's a Facebook page and don't even fucking

7:53

get me started on them talking about me in there

7:59

in there at all. But

8:02

I've heard of neighborhood watch. Yes.

8:04

Okay. So when we first

8:06

moved to Atlanta, like the first neighborhood

8:09

my parents ever bought in, it was a huge neighborhood.

8:12

And there was something called neighborhood watch. And I guess

8:14

my parents were people

8:17

that would like report if they saw anything

8:20

weird regarding like children and stuff.

8:23

Okay. Now the neighborhood watches I

8:25

feel like are just everybody

8:27

being in everybody's business. Yeah, that's

8:29

exactly what mine is. They talk about me being

8:31

in mine in my area. Nothing

8:34

about like suspicious

8:36

activity cars that are, you know,

8:38

not supposed to be, you know, in the area because

8:41

like we live

8:41

in a very, very,

8:43

we live in Bumblefuck, right? What you're

8:45

describing is how it should is how

8:47

it should be. Yeah.

8:48

Well, I'm pretty sure

8:50

most everyone

8:51

in my neighborhood is

8:54

either widowed or

8:56

retired.

8:58

Oh, okay.

9:00

And I moved in this neighborhood for

9:02

that reason, because I was like, you know what, it

9:04

will be calm and peaceful

9:07

and a good transition for me.

9:09

And I won't have to worry about seeing kids

9:11

playing whenever mine's not home. The

9:14

downside of that is I have to go outside

9:16

of my neighborhood for Jackson to have play dates or

9:18

we have to invite people over,

9:20

which is fine, but I felt

9:23

like it was going to be a good transition. So I could just

9:25

cope better. But this neighborhood

9:27

watch kind of seems to me like people are

9:29

sitting on their front porch and saw law enforcement show

9:31

up and they saw the guns coming out

9:34

of the house and then just started reporting it to

9:36

everybody around. So I don't

9:38

know if it's more of like gossip or concern.

9:40

A

9:41

little of both. And you know, that's

9:43

where I say like the warning is kind of nice because

9:45

you kind of have an idea of what's going on, but

9:47

also you could,

9:49

you know, what is, what is that saying? That's

9:51

like, believe half of what you

9:53

see,

9:54

half of what you see and none of what you hear

9:56

or something like that. Yeah, I've heard that before. Yeah.

9:58

So. That was going on

10:00

so completely alarmed.

10:03

Get Jackson to school this morning, everything going

10:05

great at the house, start laundry,

10:08

get myself ready for Pilates, go to my Pilates

10:10

class, come home and have landscapers

10:13

scheduled. And this has been an entire process. If you

10:15

live in a neighborhood that has an

10:17

HOA, God bless you because

10:21

when I tell you it has been, I say six months

10:23

because that makes me feel better, but it's really

10:25

been more like eight months that I've been trying to get new

10:28

landscaping approved for my yard, which

10:30

is a

10:31

pain in the ass. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

10:33

wait. I've

10:35

lived in a neighborhood. Actually, I

10:37

have not lived in the neighborhood that has an HOA, but

10:40

they have to approve your landscaping. Yeah.

10:42

So if you change any part

10:44

of your landscape in this neighborhood,

10:47

what do you mean change? Like put

10:49

different flowers out. Yes.

10:51

Like anything. So like anything to

10:53

the exterior of the home

10:56

and any form of, like

10:58

if you are painting, even

11:01

if you're painting the same color, you have to get approval

11:03

for painting. And what happens if you

11:05

don't? I guess you're going to get fined. Like

11:07

I have no idea that HOA is the same color,

11:09

but you know how sometimes like I don't, my house

11:11

has, does

11:12

my house have shutters?

11:14

But you know how sometimes they have shutters on the side of

11:16

the windows and they fade with like time

11:19

and sun and things like that. Even

11:21

if you paint them the same color, but you're just like refreshing

11:24

it, you have to get approval for that. Yeah. You

11:26

have to notify the HOA that like this is

11:28

happening. No. They have

11:30

bylaws in here and it's

11:33

just such an extreme. It's

11:37

such an extreme. And like, I'm scared of these people

11:39

honestly. And I just, if I'm trying to

11:41

do an improvement to my house,

11:43

it's going to make things look better. And

11:45

I know that that's relative to

11:48

whoever thinks it's going to look better because there are some

11:50

people out there that do stuff

11:52

that thinks that it's looking better, but actually

11:55

they're making it look like the clamp bits live

11:57

there. Who's

11:57

the clamp bits? Who's the act?

12:00

The clamp it you've never heard of the

12:02

clamp it no

12:03

hold on the clamp

12:06

clamp it This

12:08

is so funny because I'm trying to convince

12:11

Elijah because his Whole

12:14

part of our compound it needs a facelift

12:17

like I just it needs

12:20

Like

12:20

the shit looks like it's still in

12:23

the same condition as the 1950s when it was built And

12:25

I'm like just repaint everything like it

12:28

looks crazy

12:30

Um, I just tried to look

12:32

up the clamp it but I don't know how to spell clamp

12:34

it So it

12:37

pulled up the muppets and that's not what I was looking

12:40

for so I will do some investigating

12:42

and tend to use some pictures of I Don't

12:45

know that's something that my nanny always used to say and

12:47

my dad always used to say like we're not the clamp It's

12:49

like we don't have like a bunch of crazy

12:52

shit just like laying around our house. It's pristine around

12:54

here Everything's kept like it's not hoarders.

12:57

No, it's not and if I'm

12:59

trying to do an improvement. It's gonna actually

13:01

look better Why

13:04

would I need to get an approval for that? Understand

13:07

like why sometimes you would need to get approval

13:09

for stuff So we go through this whole

13:11

process and Kristen keeps resubmitting

13:14

this approval thing. We had to get

13:17

a sketch drawing

13:18

What? No,

13:22

because I've

13:23

heard of people having HOA fees

13:25

and it's more like You know

13:28

just making sure that things are tidy

13:30

But then I've also heard of people having HOA they

13:32

pay the fee and nobody nobody abides

13:36

by You know the the

13:39

thing or when I lived in Middletown my Middletown

13:41

house There was going to be an HOA when the neighborhood

13:43

was complete and they were like,

13:45

you know, whenever it's done They'll

13:48

be in HOA but

13:49

drawings. Okay, I'm

13:52

not even I'm not even kidding for that. That's

13:54

actually no I'm not even kidding.

13:56

We had to pay it was either a hundred and

13:58

thirty five dollar somewhere

13:59

between like $135 to $200 for this landscaper to submit basic clip art drawings

14:02

to show

14:02

like

14:09

we're removing this tree, but we're

14:11

replacing it with this tree and

14:13

we're removing these plants and we're replacing

14:15

it with these plants. That was like an

14:18

I'm not even kidding you an eight month process.

14:21

And Kristen probably was so sick of

14:23

hearing me say, Hey, have you ever

14:25

heard back from my HOA? Like, where do

14:27

I find these people? Like I'm going to have some

14:29

on the door. That's when I would riot

14:31

because because how many

14:34

your neighborhood cannot be that big that they're

14:36

eight months behind. And if that's the case,

14:39

then you need to suspend my paint

14:41

my HOA fees until you're caught up

14:43

because I'm not paying HOA fees for

14:46

you to go because

14:47

to pay for those drawings, 130, 130 to $200 is not cheap for some

14:49

people, right?

14:52

Like that's not chump change for a lot of

14:54

families. So

14:56

let's keep that in mind. Then you're paying the

14:58

HOA fees on top of it. And then you're not getting to

15:00

me for about a year. No, you can go fuck

15:03

yourself. Now I'm pissed off for you. Now

15:05

I'm going to go riot. I'm not paying my HOA fees

15:07

because you have not gotten to what I've now

15:09

paid for in fees and landscaping

15:12

drawings.

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and participating in channels.

18:03

So Kristen since this person

18:07

An email last week. I said I'm literally sick of this like

18:09

I have looked at this for way

18:12

too long Tried to remedy this

18:14

situation gone through all the proper channels to do

18:16

this Like an email needs to go out to these people

18:18

and let them know don't give a fuck if

18:21

you guys do not approve this I'm approving it

18:23

for myself and this yard is gonna be ripped

18:25

up. So I really don't care I

18:28

shit you not I pull on my driveway

18:30

and I see the landscape trucks here and I'm like, okay

18:32

good like they're here on time Much

18:35

rather see them like already out here working

18:38

instead of not showing up because that's happened to me before

18:40

or late Go to the side

18:42

yard and realize that they are actually

18:44

tearing up my neighbor's fucking yard

18:46

Correct,

18:47

which again a show a

18:50

fees because part of the HOA is like

18:52

you don't want crazy stuff And then neighbors need to know

18:54

when things like this are coming in and out Wouldn't

18:56

they have approved it so that they could align

18:59

your neighbor's yard getting dug up at the same time

19:01

as your as your yard getting dug Up.

19:03

Well, here's the problem. We share a side

19:05

yard, right? And there's been a drainage issue since

19:08

I moved in address that with the builder

19:10

They were supposed to come out and fix it

19:13

never did so

19:15

We looked into options of like French

19:17

drains turning

19:20

off of our sprinklers and trying to rotate

19:22

like their sprinklers going off at a certain

19:24

time mine going off at a certain time We've

19:26

tried absolutely everything. So I was like, maybe we

19:28

just put a path in there and It

19:31

would eliminate like a sod issue because

19:33

nothing's going to be getting wet.

19:35

We're not gonna be walking through mud, right? Neighbors

19:38

didn't want that so I'm like, okay, I'll work

19:40

with you guys But we do have to come up with some type

19:43

of solution. I get home They

19:45

have torn up all the side that

19:48

is my side

19:49

and their side Never

19:51

approved a pass

19:53

like that was never part of the drawings that

19:55

were submitted to the HOA. So Right

19:58

as we get on this recording. I say Oh shit, Kristen.

20:01

I hear the neighbor talking to these landscapers

20:03

over here outside my window and she

20:06

does not sound happy. And Kristen's like, Oh,

20:08

I'm I've got a texture right now. So Kristen

20:11

at this current moment is texting my heated

20:13

neighbor about why these landscapers dug

20:15

up her yard. That was not approved for them

20:18

to dig up her yard. The tea is piping

20:20

hot. So

20:21

I'm scared.

20:23

Um, outside

20:25

of that, everything's going well.

20:28

This is going to be an organized ship at this

20:30

house. Once this, have you ever considered

20:33

maybe for your next build, not being in

20:35

a neighborhood? Yes.

20:37

That is, I was just talking to

20:39

someone at dinner last night,

20:41

one of my girlfriends, but I, even when

20:43

I was married, um, Will and

20:46

I were going to move to a development

20:49

that had five homes, but it was on like large

20:51

land and

20:54

the home's price points

20:57

were going to be pretty much exactly

20:59

the same. So they didn't really feel

21:01

like there was going to be a necessary HOA, because

21:04

if you are spending that

21:06

kind of money to be on land, chances are you're

21:08

going to keep up with it. With it. That

21:10

was like the whole thing in Middletown was like the

21:13

land alone for one acre

21:15

was like 300,000. It's

21:18

land cost is absolutely insane.

21:20

But when Will and I were looking to this

21:23

option, because we were looking into the option

21:25

of selling our marital home before

21:28

we had decided that we were going to divorce, we were looking

21:30

to get out of the neighborhood anyway. But I gave

21:32

him like a three mile radius to

21:34

look and he was like, Lindsay, that's not

21:36

realistic. Like you need to come

21:38

back down to reality and realize like the

21:40

price of land in this three mile radius that

21:43

you've given me is not budget

21:45

realistic. So we need to look outside

21:48

of this. So this project, one of my girlfriends

21:50

is a builder and she and her dad

21:52

are like a duo. It took them

21:54

forever to get all the permit

21:57

permitting on that land to be able

21:59

to break ground. finally done it. So

22:01

I'm still looking at that option

22:03

to be able to be on land. I think I would

22:05

be much happier there. I don't like having

22:08

somebody right up next to me, but at the

22:10

same time, being a single mom. There's

22:14

pros and cons, right? Like

22:16

whenever

22:17

I was in the neighborhood, I did feel the comfort

22:19

of just like, if there was an emergency

22:22

and I'm not talking about like personal emergencies

22:24

and talking about like just big emergencies,

22:27

I know I could

22:27

run across the street and grab help.

22:28

You know what I mean? And both

22:30

neighborhoods that I lived in, like neighbor neighborhoods,

22:35

they were closed. So

22:37

like there was only one way in, one way out kind

22:39

of thing. And I liked that because they were a little bit smaller.

22:41

Yep. And then now

22:44

where my land is,

22:45

it really worked out because I have neighbors, but

22:47

they're not right

22:47

up against me. So like, again, I know

22:49

that like, Twiz is this name that lives

22:51

in Elijah's house. So many

22:54

times, you know, he's been right there when I

22:56

needed something and it's just been really, really convenient.

22:58

And I know

22:58

that there's like neighbors across the street, like

23:00

across the way, but they're not right up against

23:03

me. So that's been kind of nice. The problem

23:05

is that like, I

23:06

keep talking about wanting to rebuild, which I know Kristen

23:08

will kill me, but there's an, I don't think I'll find

23:10

land anywhere that I can afford.

23:13

It's

23:14

so hard. If you're out there looking for

23:16

land or you're out there looking to build, I feel

23:18

you, the thing that's nice, my

23:21

neighbors are absolutely lovely. So the

23:24

neighbors on both sides of me are nurses.

23:27

Five year plan to rebuild or I quit. I

23:30

feel like five year plan to

23:32

rebuild, I feel like would be very fair

23:35

because that would be like, that

23:37

would give me time to like, see if

23:39

the bunk bed situation works out

23:41

and like where all the children are at

23:43

in their stages of life. Do they need another room?

23:46

Do they, do I need more rooms or are they

23:48

good? Like I feel like five years is like a good,

23:51

also I can save

23:52

so much and put so much down. So

23:54

my mortgage, you say that now and tomorrow I'll get a call that

23:56

you're breaking in and saving,

23:58

breaking into your savings to buy land.

23:59

Yeah,

24:00

you know what? I mean, kill you

24:03

just got so excited when she said, okay,

24:05

that could be a five year plan because you thought

24:07

it was gonna be a never plan and then it's gonna turn

24:09

into actually like a two and a half year plan.

24:12

Yeah. When she said five year, I'm

24:14

like, okay, perfect. Two and a half. Awesome.

24:16

So she has PTSD and trauma from us, but

24:18

like, I get it. So

24:22

that's what's going on with that situation. I'm

24:25

really excited for the holidays, just

24:28

mainly because it's,

24:30

well,

24:30

I say it's like the happiest time of the year, but it's also

24:32

a sad time of the year for a lot of families.

24:35

Yeah. I've experienced that

24:37

over lots of years.

24:39

It's an exciting time because

24:42

I feel like you have time away

24:44

from all of the mundane life things

24:46

that you have had going on all year. But

24:49

at the same time, there are things that you

24:52

cover up that you don't deal with throughout

24:54

the year. And then those things kind of like come

24:57

to a head at the holidays. So

25:00

I am trying to get everything as organized

25:03

as possible and going through this entire purging

25:06

still of my house. And

25:08

I think I'll feel so much better at the start

25:10

of the new year because I just don't have,

25:13

I've held on to like a lot

25:15

of things for like sentimental purposes that just

25:17

don't really hold that much sentimental value to me anymore.

25:19

Like at one point they did and now they don't. So

25:22

I'm kind of getting rid of all of that stuff. I

25:25

know that you had posted

25:28

on your Instagram story about non-traditional

25:30

and unconventional ways that people celebrate

25:32

Thanksgiving. So I want to hear all

25:34

the things. So I thought this would be fun

25:37

because I'm still trying to get, like

25:40

find my footing with holidays and like,

25:42

you know, I don't really celebrate them. Now

25:45

that I have Rio with Elijah, I feel like I do

25:47

have to figure out something for

25:50

Christmas. And so

25:52

this kind

25:52

of gives, it's going to give me, I know it's for Thanksgiving, but

25:54

I feel like it could also work for other holidays.

25:57

So what I posted was, you know,

25:59

non-traditional and unconventional ways that people celebrate

26:02

Thanksgiving. And

26:03

some people were saying,

26:05

one person said, we always do a fun

26:07

breakfast buffet with each of our kids

26:10

picking out a fun dish, which I thought was cute.

26:12

That could be for any holiday. I love that idea.

26:15

Not to bring back the bingo

26:17

card, but my sister and I make

26:19

a family bingo card for the

26:22

large supper to make it interesting. I

26:25

hope I end up sick the day up so I can stay home.

26:29

No, because Thanksgiving is the one holiday

26:31

that everyone should celebrate because it's food, right?

26:33

Like how can you get, like that is the

26:36

one, like I still regret

26:38

going to meet my dad for the first time

26:40

on that one Thanksgiving year because. But

26:43

you met him over Thanksgiving? Yeah.

26:45

When I was 17. Over

26:47

Thanksgiving. Yeah. And so Thanksgiving

26:49

day, it was me, my dad

26:52

and his girlfriend and it was the worst food

26:54

I had ever had in my life. I mean, we're

26:56

talking instant box max potatoes.

26:58

Like I was sick. Wait,

27:00

tell me about like what this spread was.

27:03

That was this. It was literally like some,

27:06

it was not even like a real

27:08

turkey. You know how like when you have Thanksgiving,

27:11

was it a cornichin? Say that again.

27:13

Was it a cornichin? It was like,

27:15

like picture really thick lunch meat. Okay.

27:18

It was like that.

27:20

Where did they get this? Like I don't know.

27:23

I don't know. I have no, I don't know

27:25

what the situation was, but the food was just, I mean,

27:27

you would think like my dad is

27:29

born and raised in Texas. Like I

27:31

don't know about anyone else, but like I would just assume.

27:34

Kristen said roadkill Ray had you

27:37

eat a buzzard.

27:42

And I've talked about like my

27:44

dad didn't tell me that he ate

27:46

roadkill before like roadkill barbecue,

27:48

but like it was

27:50

like I've gotten,

27:52

there's certain places, there's

27:53

certain grocery stores around here that I

27:55

won't get the deli meat for like Elijah

27:57

because it just seems like

27:59

not good.

27:59

I mean, I'm sure deli meat is not good

28:02

in general. I was,

28:02

that's where I was going to go with this conversation

28:05

about deli meat. I feel like people

28:07

either love deli meat or hate

28:10

cold cut sandwiches. And

28:12

I like cold cut sandwiches,

28:15

but it has to be the right meat on it. Like,

28:17

I'm very weird.

28:18

I'm very, very weird about my

28:20

cold cuts, like my deli meat. I want them to be

28:22

quality. It has to be from a certain place. Like I

28:25

don't like, like, I like there's

28:27

a red nurse across the street right here. I like red

28:29

nurse stuff. I don't like, I don't like red

28:31

nurse deli meat. So I would go to somewhere else.

28:34

But so you

28:36

would just, I don't know. I guess I just put

28:38

too much faith in my dad being from Texas and

28:40

born and raised there that I thought there was going

28:42

to be some good food. So I still regret it to this day

28:44

that my real family in

28:47

Pennsylvania was like eating real good. Um,

28:50

wait, so

28:51

back up,

28:52

give me like a description of what this table looked

28:55

like. Did you know there was no table we

28:57

ate on plastic. We ate on styrofoam

28:59

plates or

29:00

paper plates and it was

29:02

runny box instant

29:05

mashed potatoes and this like

29:07

really weird turkey. It was not

29:09

like a turkey that you pull out of the oven and like it's

29:12

real meat. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah.

29:14

Okay. It was, and I don't, that's all I remember.

29:17

I don't remember anything else. So

29:18

it was just like a piece

29:20

of turkey and box

29:23

mashed potatoes.

29:24

That's what I mean. I'm sure there was other stuff, but it

29:26

was just the three of us.

29:27

You know, what's so weird. You would think

29:29

like the first time you were ever meeting him that

29:31

he would really try to put on like a good display. Like

29:34

I'm not saying like for him to be running a fakery

29:36

bakery by any means, but we

29:38

just post that and looked at each other.

29:41

It was horrible. I still regret

29:43

that was the last year that my

29:45

Pennsylvania family, like my mom's side, that

29:48

was the last year that every single

29:51

person showed up to Thanksgiving. Like

29:53

every single person before our family fell apart. So

29:56

like, I also have regrets there because I

29:58

wasn't there. I was meeting my dad.

30:01

I'm really glad that you got to meet him because

30:03

sometimes there's like

30:05

it's a double-edged sword, right? What

30:07

you don't know you can't

30:09

miss or like long for I guess

30:12

I guess you could long for what you

30:14

fantasize maybe yeah But

30:17

now you know it and I'm sure a

30:19

part of you is like I wish I never did that

30:22

Yeah

30:23

Specifically because I miss Thanksgiving at my mom

30:25

at my mom's family. I'm

30:26

just kidding But

30:29

don't hate on the paper plates like I

30:31

don't place was the least of my concern It was honestly the quality

30:34

of the food. I was just like I don't know what's going

30:36

on here Like

30:36

I don't I don't know if that's how

30:39

they eat on a regular I don't know, but I

30:41

was very very

30:41

upset by it because just like the comfort

30:43

of The trip didn't go well

30:46

The meeting was kind of iffy like the food

30:48

could have comforted in another like you know what

30:50

I'm saying Like yeah, you could have found comfort in the food

30:53

because you were in an uncomfortable situation

30:55

everywhere else

30:58

Kristen as I have been

31:00

purging one of the major

31:02

categories of things that I have thrown away

31:05

from Jackson's bedroom has

31:07

been what I like to call Pealy

31:10

pajama sets and it's so interesting

31:12

because I had just ordered

31:14

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31:17

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31:19

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31:21

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31:23

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31:26

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31:28

so excited because first of all they look so cute

31:30

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31:32

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31:34

can't tell you how long and she sent me a picture

31:37

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31:39

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31:42

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33:27

I need to know if everybody else that's listening

33:29

to this only uses your dining room

33:31

for Thanksgiving.

33:34

Now that I think

33:36

about it,

33:37

I mean, I opted for a smaller

33:39

dining room and last year the

33:41

kids sat at it for Thanksgiving.

33:43

I forewent a dining room in this

33:45

house altogether and just have a front

33:49

living room, sitting space

33:51

that also does not get used. I

33:53

think those are the most useless

33:56

spaces in a home.

33:57

Dining rooms?

33:59

Dining rooms. but I still don't

34:01

use it and I opted to

34:04

make it like a,

34:05

I guess they would call it like a formal sitting

34:08

room.

34:08

Okay.

34:09

And it's really just for the aesthetic. Like

34:12

I put

34:12

decorations in there for holidays

34:16

and it looks pretty from the road

34:18

like when I have holiday decorations

34:20

up and stuff,

34:21

but nothing else is used in there. So

34:23

I'm like, what are those rooms for? I specifically

34:26

wanted to be able to use every single

34:28

room in my house. And the dining room has just

34:30

never been,

34:32

we just don't, we had never really used like a

34:34

formal dining room or a formal sitting room.

34:36

So my dining room was pretty small, but we

34:38

also have like, there's six chairs

34:41

and it's a round table. It's like super small, but like it's

34:43

cute. It works for us. And then we have four

34:46

bar stools

34:46

across the counter. So

34:47

that's perfect. Yeah. And they're like so

34:50

close to each other. And then the last

34:52

for these answers, some are the

34:54

couple, there's a couple more. We

34:57

take a party bus to reach each

34:59

house.

35:00

We take a party bus to each house. Each

35:02

house has a different theme or food

35:05

example. I've

35:08

never, that is insane. I

35:10

love this.

35:11

Like I don't know that I could get people on

35:13

board to do this. Like more so

35:16

probably like my friend group, I

35:19

could get on board to do that and

35:21

just like travel around, but no one's stopping at my

35:23

house. We're just going to eat my pieces on

35:25

the bus.

35:26

The last one says we

35:28

do our own separate special Thanksgiving with

35:31

our kids in the morning before

35:33

all families.

35:34

I also love the separation of

35:36

doing things as like

35:39

your family that you live with throughout

35:42

the year and then doing something separate

35:44

with extended. We kind of always

35:46

did that growing up. It

35:49

would either be like breakfast

35:52

with just my parents and

35:55

like all siblings and then grandparents

35:57

would join at some point in the day or. we

36:00

would do all of that open

36:03

gifts or have like a special Thanksgiving

36:06

breakfast and then go

36:08

to like Julie's Granny's

36:11

house. We did that for like lots of years.

36:14

I'm pretty sure I've always spent most Thanksgiving

36:16

with my dad. My

36:19

mom's parents, my biological

36:22

mom's parents never really celebrated

36:24

Thanksgiving until well after Thanksgiving

36:27

because they are, they've

36:29

always had a business that

36:32

they've ran 5K's and

36:35

hosted 5K's and stuff

36:37

on Thanksgiving day. And

36:39

I'm quite

36:40

sure that that might have

36:42

been one reason why my parents' marriage

36:44

did not work because when you have

36:47

one side of the family that runs 5K's

36:49

on Thanksgiving and then one side of the family

36:51

that is dedicated to eating all day. Yeah,

36:53

I'm eating all day. There is no

36:55

way, like I dated one person

36:58

one time. I'm not going to say his name but anybody

37:00

who's listening to this that's followed my story

37:02

will know exactly who I'm talking about. He

37:05

has a very athletic family. He

37:07

swam in the Olympic trials and

37:11

they all look like, I

37:14

don't know, like they should be on GQ.

37:17

He ran 5K's, didn't they?

37:19

Yes, one time when I started dating

37:21

this guy, they

37:23

posted a holiday photo with

37:25

just wearing like pajama pants and

37:28

their abs were out and they were standing on top of a roof.

37:31

And it was definitely gram worthy.

37:34

All their abs were out and stuff and I showed that picture

37:36

to my dad and he was like, they definitely

37:38

don't look like they're eating Thanksgiving. They look like they're

37:40

running and I'm like, you know what, you're exactly right. They

37:42

run 5K's every Thanksgiving.

37:45

Why not eat Thursday, do the 5K

37:47

on Friday? Because the 5K Friday

37:49

will then burn the calories that you ate all

37:51

day on Thursday. I think that

37:54

people who do these 5K

37:56

things have the opposite mindset, like

37:58

do the work first so that you... can enjoy

38:00

later and

38:01

it should run a different mindset,

38:03

you know,

38:04

you run a 5k on Wednesday. Would there's

38:06

no reason to do that

38:07

ever see me get up on Thanksgiving

38:10

to do a turkey trot.

38:11

No, I'm never doing it. Like I would never

38:13

never

38:14

a thing. But I do love

38:16

the party bus idea and having different

38:19

themes showing up at different houses. I actually

38:22

love that idea. I'm not going to adopt

38:24

it because it's not realistic for me. But

38:26

same,

38:27

what's the

38:28

next thing. Okay, the next one I

38:30

posted was Thanksgiving

38:32

horror stories. Oh, God. Someone

38:35

said my ex being

38:35

angry for no reason and me showing up to

38:37

his family's house without him.

38:40

Wait, repeat that. My

38:42

ex being angry for no reason and

38:44

me showing up to his family's house without him.

38:46

His family.

38:48

Something I would do.

38:49

Honestly, it's something that I would do as well.

38:52

I mean, I'm not missing out on the food

38:54

because you're pissed off.

38:55

Remember that

38:58

I'm

38:58

pretty sure it was Thanksgiving. No,

39:00

that might have been Christmas. I don't know the

39:02

last year that I was married to will remember

39:05

me telling you that in preparation for

39:07

the divorce, I let him take Jackson

39:09

to his parents. Yes. Thanksgiving

39:12

and Christmas. Oh, I remember what

39:14

Thanksgiving thing was. We were still mad

39:16

at Will's mom for the misfire text. Okay,

39:19

so he took Jackson

39:21

and you stayed behind. I cooked all

39:23

the food. And I think part

39:26

of his family went to like

39:29

extended family. And then Will's

39:31

dad stayed at home by himself, like

39:34

pretty much all Thanksgiving day. So I

39:36

cooked our Thanksgiving meal at home,

39:38

cooked for like three days and

39:41

then put a whole Thanksgiving platter

39:43

together for Will's dad and Will and Jackson

39:45

went out and spent time with Will's

39:47

dad on that day. But we were

39:50

still mad and not talking to his

39:52

mom. So I

39:53

guess the misfire text got in the way of that.

39:57

Never forget. Never forget.

39:59

Grandpa severed his thumb carving turkey

40:02

bloodbath 07.

40:03

I wonder truly how often

40:06

that happens. Do you have the type of family

40:08

that uses like an electric carver?

40:10

I don't, I'm not sure. Growing

40:13

up when I always celebrate it with my

40:15

mom's side, that was, I think

40:18

my uncle Jerry used, I

40:21

don't know how he carved the turkey, I have no idea.

40:24

Same for Elijah and Sterling when they cooked last

40:26

year, I have no idea.

40:28

Julie's dad always had an electric

40:31

carver and I'm pretty sure he traveled

40:33

with that to Thanksgiving. Like he was gonna

40:35

make sure, no, we weren't going

40:38

on planes. We were just going in cars, but

40:42

he brought it with him like from

40:44

his house. I'm pretty sure every Thanksgiving. I don't know

40:47

that my parents had an electric

40:49

turkey carver, but it's

40:51

an art for sure. And like, when

40:54

you're talking about

40:55

like making sure that the meat's cut right, if

40:58

you have someone in your family that's

41:00

doing like the turkey and ham

41:03

electric cutting situation,

41:06

if they're really good at it, they will do various

41:09

different types of cuts. So they'll

41:11

do like thin slices and then they'll do like people

41:13

who like thicker slices. Yep, my

41:15

uncle Jerry had it nailed down. I

41:18

need to ask you if you've ever heard of this

41:20

or if this is just like a Chrisley family thing.

41:23

For turkey, I mean ham,

41:26

do you guys put like a sauce on it? Like a

41:28

honey glaze? Yeah, so like if you get a ham

41:31

from like honey baked ham or you

41:33

get a ham from the grocery store and it's got like the

41:35

glaze on the outside like already whenever you

41:37

go to bake it, there's like that. But

41:39

then there's also like sauces that you can make

41:42

to put on it. No, we've never. So

41:44

there's this one that has two ingredients and it's

41:47

absolutely delicious. And you guys all need to add

41:49

it to your Thanksgiving table. It's brown sugar

41:51

and mustard. And you just like mix it up

41:54

until it gets to a consistency. You

41:56

do like the spoon check, right? Like you mix

41:58

it until it gets to a good like sauce. consistency

42:01

and it will change

42:03

your life. Okay.

42:05

It's so good. Brown sugar and mustard. Regular

42:09

mustard? Like yellow mustard? Yellow mustard. Okay.

42:11

And I'm not even a big fan of

42:14

mustard but it's like the like

42:17

tanginess I guess for mustard and the sweetness

42:19

of the brown sugar that

42:21

just makes like the perfect.

42:23

I mean it sounds good. I'm not a mustard really

42:25

but I feel like it sounds I would still try it.

42:28

It's so good. Another person said that

42:30

my uncle my uncle

42:32

announced that he had herpes to the entire family

42:34

right after we said. Wait what? My

42:37

uncle announced that he had herpes to the entire

42:39

family right after we said grace.

42:43

There's a time and a place for things.

42:45

First of all why do you need to announce that to your

42:47

family?

42:48

Unless they're sleeping with you.

42:50

I'm not sure why that would be relevant

42:53

but like can you get it from like sharing food?

42:56

Off the same fork.

42:58

Yeah. Shouldn't he just be like

43:00

that level of self-aware that he's not

43:02

contaminating other people with. And it's

43:05

only if you have a breakout. So like if your mouth

43:07

is fine I'm pretty sure you're fine.

43:09

The weird shit that happens over

43:12

a Thanksgiving table and the types

43:15

of conversations and the families that

43:17

we don't have alcohol at our Thanksgiving.

43:19

Like my side of the family. Will

43:22

my family is flowing?

43:24

I think they might have had like I

43:27

don't remember maybe they had a bottle

43:29

of wine. Nobody got drunk. Nobody was drinking

43:31

like if they were drinking it was

43:33

a glass of wine because I mean I don't

43:36

and I'm very like because my mom's an alcoholic

43:38

and I've never seen my mom drink on a holiday. But

43:41

you've never seen her drink on a holiday? No. No

43:44

my mom would not drink like my mom would

43:46

not drink around her family.

43:49

Okay so that's like a private thing that she

43:51

chooses to do. Like everyone in the

43:53

family knows she's an alcoholic. So if there was ever

43:55

wine or like beer it would be a

43:58

glass of wine. A beer.

44:00

But my mom did not participate during the holidays

44:02

because I think my mom Thought

44:05

that

44:05

nobody knew but

44:07

everyone you know what I mean like one of the ideal

44:09

So like yeah, maybe my cousins or my uncles would have

44:11

like a beer or a glass

44:12

of wine, but my mom never did that's

44:14

so interesting, okay, so my

44:17

family it's like

44:18

sweet tea or

44:21

a soft drink or

44:23

Lemonade something like that. Yeah

44:26

will family

44:28

if you've spent the night and you wake up there on

44:31

Thanksgiving morning, it's gonna

44:33

be mimosas and

44:35

Bloody Mary's to start the day and

44:38

then when it gets about noon you're

44:40

going to transition over to

44:43

Beer and wine. So are people getting drunk

44:45

on Thanksgiving? Oh, yeah

44:48

Really? Yeah,

44:49

I'm not judging because I

44:51

think there are there are very there are so many people

44:53

who drink responsibly

44:54

So like whatever but like also if

44:56

you want to get drunk on Thanksgiving, I guess that's fine Like

44:59

you're in a controlled environment. I just I can't

45:01

picture it for my family like I can't say

45:03

no when you are coming together with

45:06

people when there is like possible

45:09

strain or You're

45:11

just like in an uncomfy situation

45:13

and shit popped off all year long

45:16

and there is no alcohol Absolutely

45:18

not. I'm sorry if I'm ever hosting

45:20

Thanksgiving, there's always going to be alcohol

45:23

freely flowing. Please help yourself If

45:26

you plan on getting drunk

45:28

under my roof, please

45:29

also leave your car keys at the front

45:31

door Like you are not leaving. I don't

45:34

remember any holiday that we ever had with Will's

45:36

family that

45:37

we

45:38

were not drinking from the time that we

45:40

Woke up until the time that we went to bed

45:43

That is like I have whatever

45:45

like I don't care. I just I can't picture

45:47

it So like that's so funny to me. Like

45:50

I can't picture like everyone's drinking

45:52

and cooking like just having a good time I love that

45:54

most of the cooking was like pre-done

45:58

like the night night before for

45:59

and put in to like

46:01

stuff just to be able to like pop straight in the oven.

46:04

So there was no recipe

46:06

mishaps happening. Okay, it

46:08

was just everything was done.

46:11

Everyone was there. Everyone was having a good

46:13

time. We're going to drink our way through this

46:15

day. Okay. About

46:18

three, three 30, four

46:20

clock hits, you start bringing

46:22

out the ingredients to make mojitos.

46:24

Some people might be having

46:27

lemon drops. And people

46:29

might be getting into other things like,

46:32

you just never know what was going to happen. And

46:34

honestly, that is one part that I

46:36

miss because it's just like drink

46:38

and have a good time and forget

46:41

all of your problems.

46:42

No, I love that. I love that for people. Like

46:44

I, but okay.

46:49

Coffee Compass podcast is sponsored by

46:51

BetterHelp. Lindsay, we are coming

46:54

up on the holidays and I don't know about you, but

46:56

I might be doubling down on my therapy sessions. Listen,

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47:25

especially when you're married and you have, you

47:27

know, multiple families to have to worry about.

47:29

So I'm definitely going to

47:31

be increasing my therapy sessions. I

47:33

also have been

47:34

consistently recommending to everybody

47:36

extra than I, you know, way more than I always

47:39

do this time of year. It's great to get into

47:41

therapy to deal with whatever you might

47:43

be dealing with. It's natural to feel some sadness

47:45

or anxiety about holidays, but adding

47:48

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47:50

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49:06

Okay, but I have to ask you, do you like hosting

49:09

or going? No, so it's been really weird the

49:13

last couple years for me because,

49:16

well, now that I think about it, I

49:18

don't remember what

49:19

I did for Thanksgiving the year before last. Like, I just

49:21

don't remember. I went

49:23

to Natalie's. I'll bring other

49:25

people wine because I have a wine subscription

49:27

because I gift it to people, which

49:30

sounds weird from someone that doesn't drink, but

49:32

I know everyone drinks, so I just gift everybody bottles

49:34

of wine. I'll bring wine over.

49:36

That's so classy of you, honestly.

49:38

Really? I feel like that's so classy. Like,

49:40

if you showed up

49:41

to my front door with a bottle of wine,

49:44

I would be like, it is classy kill.

49:46

Really? I went to a pool party, not

49:49

that long, it was probably like towards the end of the summer, and I brought wine

49:51

because I know everyone else drinks. I don't drink.

49:55

And I just basically said, I was like,

49:56

I'm not sure what this tastes like, but,

49:59

you know.

50:00

You know, here's the gift here.

50:02

I went to Natalie's

50:04

one year about year before I do

50:07

prefer to go

50:07

I just Hosting

50:09

is such a job, right? Yeah,

50:12

and like

50:13

it just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving

50:15

if I don't feel like you're so on

50:18

Like when you are the host and there are some people

50:20

that were literally made to

50:22

be

50:23

host host like

50:26

Will's

50:26

brother's wife. I

50:28

could never say one bad thing about

50:31

her She is the hostess

50:33

with the most it's like I Fighting.

50:37

Yeah, I always has like

50:39

the best appetizers. Everything

50:41

looks good She's always

50:43

in a good mood always on and

50:46

when you go somewhere You don't

50:48

feel like you have to be as on because the

50:50

pressure is not

50:51

solely on you Yeah, and I

50:53

just feel like if you have parents that are alive They

50:56

need to take on that task like I'm not trying to put

50:59

hard work on parents and stuff But it's just like

51:01

you know what if you're alive, you're probably not

51:03

doing anything for the rest of the part

51:05

of the year

51:06

Yeah, so just like host us, please

51:09

like I'm just so used

51:11

to like my Great grandmother's

51:13

house and I just and

51:16

even my my aunt house and we moved it to my

51:18

aunt's house My grandma my great-grandmother passed away It's

51:21

just you bring something and it just

51:23

felt like home like it just felt like

51:25

that was supposed to be like so

51:27

now And it just it's I

51:30

don't know if anyone feels this way But there's something

51:32

about those houses that I would go to my great grandmother's

51:34

my aunt's That are they

51:37

are not these like modern homes

51:39

that we you know you and I have built and so

51:41

there was something about like the coziness

51:43

and the like Lived in

51:45

homes of like my great-grandmother and

51:48

my aunt

51:48

That made it feel

51:50

also like Thanksgiving like I just felt like

51:52

last year especially

51:54

In the new house like

51:56

it didn't feel like Thanksgiving because it's just this like

51:59

brand new modern

51:59

I know that sounds so weird, but like

52:02

I know exactly what you're talking about because I

52:04

had that same feeling Trent

52:07

and I took his kids to a cabin

52:10

not too long ago and spent the weekend like

52:12

five minutes away from his childhood home and we

52:16

had to stop by his mom's house

52:18

on the way out to like drop some stuff off and

52:21

it was the first time I'd ever been there and The

52:24

house was just like so cozy

52:27

like so cozy and quaint and It

52:30

just felt like there was a lot of like memory

52:33

traps there. Mm-hmm. And

52:35

so that to me felt

52:38

Comforting and I felt like at peace there.

52:40

Yes, like it just I

52:43

Don't know what it was about my house last

52:45

year that I was just like this and not Thanksgiving

52:48

But listen, maybe if we ever stayed in a home long

52:50

enough, we would have traps memories

52:52

there, but we run from our memories

52:56

Right. Yeah, it's like when it gets bad

52:58

we run. Yeah

53:00

One thing that we used to do at Julie's

53:02

grannies before she passed away and

53:05

when Julie's brother was still alive

53:07

she had a younger brother and He

53:10

was always so fun. Like

53:12

the finish like a fungal

53:14

a fungal I'm saying

53:16

always loved him life

53:18

of he had a smile that would

53:21

like light up a room just Life

53:23

of the party life of the holiday.

53:25

We would always do a

53:27

family kickball game

53:29

Thank you.

53:30

And that was fine Like I love doing active stuff

53:33

like that and really putting on a display

53:36

on who is like the most athletic person Because

53:38

every single person in my family are the most competitive

53:41

people in every regard

53:43

I love that when we were growing up

53:45

when I was growing up to we played After

53:48

we ate like the dinner

53:49

part before we ate dessert We always went outside

53:51

out front and played football and

53:54

that's where I learned how to throw a spiral which it

53:56

was

53:57

It probably took me several thanksgivings to learn how

53:59

to

53:59

spiral.

54:00

Well, I love that you learned how to do

54:02

that. Does anybody else's family do

54:05

Thanksgiving and you eat like around

54:07

lunchtime, like let's say between 11 and

54:10

noon,

54:11

one o'clock,

54:12

then everybody is

54:15

good on like mimosas and Bloody Mary.

54:17

So then you take a little siesta. That's

54:20

not a siesta.

54:23

And then you wake up and do it all over again.

54:25

Last year, Sterling came to my

54:29

house and poor thing, talk

54:31

about Thanksgiving nightmares.

54:33

The kids were all playing outside and her daughter, they

54:36

were all playing outside because it was like nice out. We

54:39

had to go to the emergency room because her daughter

54:41

busted her chin on the basketball court

54:43

and had to go get stitches. I don't know if anyone remembers me

54:45

telling that story from last year. And

54:48

I'm so sad that we're not going to be with

54:51

her this year because

54:52

I said we went to Natalie's last year, but I think that was

54:54

Christmas. We went to

54:57

Sterling's in Texas last

54:59

year

54:59

or maybe the year before. And she, her

55:02

and Elijah throw

55:03

fucking down in the kitchen. But I don't

55:05

remember them drinking.

55:07

They probably were sneaky drinking. Elijah definitely was

55:09

like popping a truly or something, but he doesn't

55:11

get drunk. Like he doesn't, like he's just

55:13

not like a, he doesn't get drunk.

55:14

Some people drink to get

55:17

drunk and some people drink

55:19

just to like elevate their time.

55:21

I feel like I drink

55:23

to elevate my time, but you're

55:26

definitely one or the other.

55:28

If I drink,

55:29

if I'm ever going to drink, I

55:31

want to get drunk because otherwise for me,

55:33

what is the purpose?

55:34

No, but see, I think that's coming

55:36

from somebody who doesn't regularly drink because

55:39

I feel like if you know the types of drinks,

55:42

Krista needs to suck at me on this. If you know the

55:44

types of drinks that you like and you

55:46

enjoy drinking those drinks and also

55:48

enjoy the effect that those drinks give

55:51

you over a period of time and

55:53

you're just

55:53

there really feeling the vibes.

55:56

Definitely. So many people smoke like when they

55:58

get high. Yeah.

55:59

the same reason.

56:01

Like the people who just like maybe pop

56:03

an edible or like I enjoy

56:06

the effect

56:06

of drink my drinking has on others for

56:09

so she drinks because of this social aspect.

56:12

Okay, okay. And I do feel

56:14

like if you are no one

56:16

would maybe know this about me, but

56:18

I feel like I'm a very quiet and shy person

56:20

like in real life if you don't know me.

56:23

And if I don't spend

56:25

time around you regularly

56:28

and it's a family holiday,

56:30

there needs to be something to like break

56:32

the ice a little bit for me to get to talking

56:34

to you. Okay, I'm never going to go

56:36

into a family holiday like

56:39

my ex sister-in-law speaking to every

56:41

single person that is there carrying

56:43

on conversation without alcohol,

56:46

getting into work details, family

56:48

life things that have been going on. That is not me

56:50

like I am going to find the nearest

56:53

recliner. I'm going

56:55

to speak when I'm spoken to. I'm going

56:58

to have conversations and engage in conversations

57:00

with people who start conversations with me.

57:02

Okay. Now if I'm drinking,

57:04

I might be more willing to

57:07

start conversations with people. Kristin

57:10

claims that it helps

57:12

break the ice not commit a crime and

57:14

whatever else not commit a crime.

57:18

I just need to say

57:20

whatever person wrote in

57:22

and said, my grandma got

57:24

caught using KFC gravy like she made

57:27

it herself. Listen, don't

57:29

be hating on the KFC gravy or her

57:31

bamboozle because grandma,

57:34

there is something that is so special and

57:37

nostalgic about KFC

57:39

gravy that I can just not

57:41

explain. It might come from powder.

57:43

I

57:44

don't care where it comes from. I don't care.

57:45

It just hits different.

57:48

I don't care if it comes out of a wonky Turkish asshole.

57:51

It is so good. Listen,

57:54

that gravy is so good.

57:56

You know what? I might be copping

57:59

some KFC. That's good idea because I

58:01

don't know how to make gravy and you have to be a

58:03

special kind of person that knows really how to make gravy.

58:05

A good gravy. Agree. Like

58:07

a good gravy. Same thing for some people call it dressing,

58:09

some people call it stuffing. Not everybody's

58:12

stuffing is equal.

58:13

No, that is one thing that...

58:15

And it has to be good because I've had some nasty

58:18

dry stuffing

58:20

and I'm like, or dressing whatever and I'm like, this

58:22

is not good. I love stove top.

58:24

So like if you can't... Goodbye.

58:27

Stove top is so good.

58:29

No, no, kill.

58:31

That is for people who don't know how to cook.

58:34

Okay. Well, I love it. You

58:36

listen, the way that the dressing

58:38

goes, because we do dressing not stuffing.

58:41

I think it's more common in the North that people

58:43

stuff their turkeys

58:45

and in the South we

58:47

do dressing and it is a separate tray, right?

58:50

Yes. So we call it stuffing,

58:52

but it's dressing because we don't have... I've

58:54

never stuffed a turkey.

58:55

Like nobody... Growing up, my

58:58

family has never stuffed a turkey. Dishing

59:00

something out of a cavity of anything's

59:03

body alarms me.

59:05

So you're

59:08

not

59:09

doing that to the turkey before it gets cooked?

59:11

No, that's not a thing.

59:14

The dressing though is a multiple

59:16

day process because you have

59:19

to cook... Well, we don't use

59:21

bread.

59:22

We use cornbread. We make cornbread

59:24

cakes,

59:25

but some people use... I mean, there's various

59:28

different things that people use like croutons,

59:31

dried bread, lots of

59:33

different things. But we do the...

59:36

Not the yellow cake of cornbread, but like the white

59:38

cake of cornbread. And

59:41

that has to be done like a couple of days in advance

59:44

so that it's not like fresh, super

59:46

fresh. And then it

59:48

is just...

59:50

But the problem with that that I've had

59:52

with the homemade stuffing, dressing, whatever, when

59:55

it's too dry, like there's a

59:57

fine line with the homemade one.

1:00:00

That's like people dry it out and they take

1:00:02

it too far because now it's so dry that

1:00:04

I can't it's like it's like a Popeyes Biscuit

1:00:07

like I can't buy it's like peanut

1:00:09

butter in your mouth can't get it out And I

1:00:11

know a lot of water is gonna take it out So

1:00:14

there's a fine line with the with the with the drip

1:00:16

with the dressing. Okay? Well, I will tell you the

1:00:18

best way to get not dry

1:00:21

dressing

1:00:22

is to make up your mixture

1:00:25

the night before and then pour

1:00:27

it in your pan because the Bread

1:00:29

is going to start absorbing Whatever

1:00:32

liquid that you put in there and when

1:00:34

you go to put it in your pan You can

1:00:37

add more if it's already dry And this

1:00:39

is something that you have to watch like

1:00:42

a baby in the oven

1:00:44

and if it's not getting dry I'm gonna try

1:00:46

it. I'm gonna try it before Thanksgiving like several

1:00:48

weeks before Thanksgiving

1:00:49

Like like now

1:00:51

so that way that way I can try it. So I'm

1:00:53

a nanny and Tell

1:00:56

her to give step-by-step instructions

1:00:58

over text and then I will forward you

1:01:00

perfect so that you can follow it

1:01:04

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1:02:42

Okay, so last year,

1:02:44

I just need to tell you what Thanksgiving looked like because

1:02:47

I don't know, did I ever really talk about this?

1:02:50

I don't think so. Not that I remember. So

1:02:52

just going

1:02:53

to take you guys back a year ago,

1:02:56

my parents were sentenced in

1:02:58

federal court a couple of days ahead

1:03:01

of Thanksgiving holiday. We

1:03:03

had no idea what was going to happen for the holidays.

1:03:05

But the general plan

1:03:08

was that we were going to all be

1:03:10

in Tennessee at my parents' house. Once

1:03:13

the sentencing came down, my parents wanted no one

1:03:15

in their home, which I completely

1:03:17

understand like your world has just

1:03:19

been rocked. And the

1:03:22

last thing I would want to be doing is entertaining

1:03:24

anyone. Although

1:03:27

it

1:03:27

was hard because the thoughts

1:03:30

of, okay, last holidays, and

1:03:32

I had not spent holidays with my family for

1:03:34

years because I always spent it with Will.

1:03:37

The year before, I spent holidays

1:03:40

with my parents.

1:03:41

Right. So that

1:03:42

would have been your last year to celebrate with them

1:03:44

before they went away. Correct.

1:03:46

But respecting their

1:03:49

wishes, I'm not going to put my child in the car.

1:03:51

It's chaotic to have, you've

1:03:53

got to consider Jackson and Chloe, they're only,

1:03:56

I think like

1:03:57

between 45 and 54 days apart. I get them.

1:03:59

up. 10 years

1:04:02

old, my parents had a basketball court

1:04:04

like inside their house and they're just loud

1:04:07

like 10

1:04:07

year olds are loud.

1:04:09

And so to think of them having people just

1:04:11

like running through their house and them having to entertain

1:04:14

and like pretend like everything

1:04:16

was okay, and it's not.

1:04:18

So

1:04:20

that whole situation just

1:04:22

obviously got nixed on the day of the day.

1:04:26

So

1:04:27

I'll come home and I'm like,

1:04:30

okay, well, I don't

1:04:31

know what we're going to do because I've planned nothing. And

1:04:34

normally like when you go Thanksgiving shopping for

1:04:36

food, you have to rush the

1:04:38

grocery stores. Like you have to make sure you are

1:04:40

getting all of your stuff in advance

1:04:42

because everything will be gone. So by

1:04:44

this point, I'm like, I have nothing prepared

1:04:47

because I wasn't preparing for this. I

1:04:49

don't know if I told you when I filed

1:04:51

for divorce the first time my mom,

1:04:54

my biological mom had

1:04:56

come to my house unannounced and I had flown back

1:04:59

from Nashville, filming Chrisley

1:05:01

Knows Best and she was in my driveway. I

1:05:03

did not know this. So she

1:05:06

showed up when she found out

1:05:08

on the news that I was getting divorced because

1:05:10

she did not want Will and I divorcing. She

1:05:13

always has been an advocate for Will

1:05:15

and I being together always thought that we were like

1:05:18

the best couple had our problems but needed

1:05:20

to stay together. And then I think that she didn't

1:05:23

want Jackson to have to go through situations

1:05:25

that Kyle and I went through whenever we were kids,

1:05:28

if it was a problem that could be remedied. So she

1:05:31

showed up unannounced, I walk in

1:05:33

and it's her and

1:05:35

Will there and I'm like, okay, great. So

1:05:38

then my mom and dad

1:05:40

get sentenced. I come

1:05:42

home next day, my biological mom

1:05:44

shows up in my driveway ahead of Thanksgiving.

1:05:47

So

1:05:47

it's just me, her and Jackson at my

1:05:49

house.

1:05:50

Is that comforting or is that

1:05:52

like, I don't

1:05:53

want, I don't want this right now.

1:05:56

It ended up being good

1:05:58

because I didn't feel like I had to be a lawyer.

1:05:59

alone. And

1:06:01

Jackson had somebody to play with if I wanted

1:06:04

to be like in my sad girl era. So

1:06:07

that part was good. But I just

1:06:09

feel like I was so overwhelmed. And the

1:06:11

moment of literally everybody's

1:06:14

world was just rocked in my family and didn't

1:06:17

know what to expect or what to do.

1:06:18

So guess where we ended up celebrating

1:06:21

Thanksgiving

1:06:22

Cracker Barrel.

1:06:23

They're open on Thanksgiving. We I don't think we have

1:06:25

Cracker Barrel. We don't have one. They're open on

1:06:27

Thanksgiving. So we went to Cracker

1:06:29

Barrel. I will not

1:06:31

lie to you guys. I did not think the food was great

1:06:33

at Cracker Barrel for Thanksgiving. I

1:06:35

think I kind of had the same experience that you

1:06:37

had when you're used to one thing and then you have

1:06:40

something else. It just doesn't feel like home

1:06:42

or it doesn't feel normal. Yeah,

1:06:46

so it was just like a very non traditional

1:06:49

Thanksgiving. And then I had a lot of I

1:06:51

had a lot of mom guilt, knowing

1:06:54

that

1:06:55

my parents had just gone through that knowing

1:06:57

that I had had Jackson on the calendar for

1:06:59

that holiday,

1:07:01

knowing that we had plans, but then

1:07:03

didn't have plans anymore. And

1:07:05

I went back and forth on should

1:07:07

I just allow will to take Jackson to his

1:07:09

parents, because that would have been more

1:07:12

normal for him. But also, I would

1:07:14

be surrendering a holiday that I knew

1:07:16

will wasn't going to give me back any time

1:07:18

on Christmas. And

1:07:21

so I just ultimately was like, you

1:07:23

know what, we're going to get up and we're

1:07:25

going to go to Cracker Barrel and we're going to play football

1:07:27

outside and we're going to make the best of this day. We actually

1:07:30

ended up at my girlfriend Tori's house and

1:07:32

she had a very

1:07:34

large family. So

1:07:36

we did like charcuterie and Oh, cute.

1:07:39

some champagne and stuff over there. And that

1:07:42

was pretty much the extent of it. Honestly,

1:07:44

sometimes

1:07:45

as much mom guilt as we have

1:07:48

for things like that, like in your situation,

1:07:50

I feel like those are

1:07:52

the like,

1:07:53

such teaching moments for our kids, you

1:07:55

know, like

1:07:56

things did not go the way that we would

1:07:59

have wanted them to.

1:07:59

were the way that we pictured them, but we're going to pick up the pieces

1:08:02

and we're going to figure it the fuck out. We're

1:08:03

going to do something new

1:08:06

and maybe sometimes it'll turn into

1:08:08

a new tradition and maybe sometimes it's the one

1:08:10

Thanksgiving you'll always look back on and be like,

1:08:13

that

1:08:15

was one of the

1:08:17

roadblocks, the triumphs

1:08:18

that we had to overcome. And so

1:08:20

I feel like in some ways

1:08:23

there's a silver lining.

1:08:24

Part of me wanted to just,

1:08:27

and I don't know if this is going to come across wrong, but

1:08:29

I just wanted to be

1:08:32

in that sad moment

1:08:35

and have my child there with me knowing

1:08:37

that safe was forever changed

1:08:40

and this was just going to be a turning year

1:08:42

and next year will be different. I

1:08:45

mean, it teaches them about life and that

1:08:47

life that doesn't always go as we planned.

1:08:51

And I don't know if this is going to come off the wrong

1:08:53

way, but I think that it is important for

1:08:55

kids to sometimes see us upset and

1:08:58

how we overcome it and how we deal with our emotions.

1:09:00

And that was such a hard moment that I

1:09:02

think

1:09:03

maybe

1:09:03

Johnson didn't know exactly what was going

1:09:06

on at the time, but at some point he's going

1:09:08

to look back and be like, wow, my

1:09:09

mom really fucking handled that like a champ. Like

1:09:11

my mom really,

1:09:12

really held it together. Well,

1:09:15

and I will say because he was very

1:09:17

aware of what was going on and knew that

1:09:20

I was

1:09:21

going to be in court with my parents

1:09:24

and knew what was happening that day. We kind

1:09:28

of prepared him in the

1:09:30

best way possible for

1:09:32

him to know, okay, it's

1:09:34

either going to be this or it's going to be this and we don't know

1:09:36

what's going to happen. And so I think

1:09:39

it was good for him to be with me

1:09:41

knowing that he was also going

1:09:43

through that and hearing about it and probably

1:09:46

going to hear about it at school when he went back to school

1:09:48

because it was such big news. And I

1:09:50

wanted him to be with me and just knowing,

1:09:53

I don't think that Will's family

1:09:56

truly has a bad bone in their body. There's

1:09:58

been things that have happened along the way. I

1:10:00

really didn't want him to be with anybody else with

1:10:02

that kind of news

1:10:04

Coming out

1:10:05

to just to try to protect him

1:10:07

from what he maybe would hear from somebody

1:10:09

else and even over here You know like an adult conversation

1:10:12

or anything. It was more I At

1:10:14

least felt somewhat in control and

1:10:17

he saw me during those sad moments

1:10:19

and saw me crying and saw me not okay

1:10:21

And some people might disagree with

1:10:24

this But I think that you should

1:10:26

allow your kids to see you be sad and

1:10:28

not be okay because it teaches them

1:10:30

that Everything in life is not always

1:10:32

going to be perfect, but we will overcome

1:10:35

this. I agree. I wholeheartedly

1:10:37

agree with that there

1:10:38

was a couple of videos

1:10:41

that I've seen in the past couple of weeks

1:10:43

and preparation of discussing

1:10:46

Thanksgiving holiday that I just want to

1:10:48

read these quotes and I

1:10:50

hope that they Resonate with

1:10:52

some of you. I know that we talked

1:10:55

a lot about the happy moments talk a lot about the sad

1:10:57

moments, but we haven't really

1:10:59

got into on this episode about

1:11:01

family drama and This

1:11:04

was some advice from Mel Robbins.

1:11:07

She said when family rock drama starts

1:11:09

don't allow yourself to get Sucked

1:11:12

into it. The easiest way to minimize drama

1:11:14

is shut down the gossip One of the best

1:11:16

things you could do to improve family dynamics

1:11:18

is to shut down when family members gossip about

1:11:21

each other because if someone Has an issue with you

1:11:23

and your family and they're talking

1:11:25

about it to everybody in the family But

1:11:27

not about it to you The fact is they

1:11:29

don't actually have an issue with you They have an

1:11:31

issue with wanting the attention and the best thing

1:11:34

you can do with the family when someone and

1:11:36

your family is talking about Someone else is shut

1:11:38

it down and say hey if you have a problem with them

1:11:40

You should talk to them about it instead of complaining

1:11:42

to me Redirect push people

1:11:45

to air out their grievances with each other instead of gossiping

1:11:47

and you'll be surprised at how quickly the dynamics

1:11:49

in your family change And I think

1:11:52

a lot of that happens over holidays

1:11:55

when there is family

1:11:57

strife or you know

1:11:59

something

1:11:59

has happened with this

1:12:02

sibling is fighting with this sibling or

1:12:05

this child is not getting along with this parent

1:12:07

or whatever. I think a lot of times when

1:12:09

you get in a collective group and

1:12:11

you start pairing off with each

1:12:13

other and having conversations, a lot

1:12:15

of times it turns into gossip

1:12:17

sessions about other people who are there

1:12:20

that are present. And it's conversations

1:12:22

like this person makes me feel uncomfortable

1:12:25

or this person did this or this person did

1:12:27

that. I'm a very

1:12:29

big advocate at this point on

1:12:31

going directly to the source if you have an issue with

1:12:33

somebody that should be addressed with that person,

1:12:36

you taking it up with somebody else. Whether

1:12:40

it's you trying to find comfort

1:12:42

in that other person because they know that person

1:12:44

that you're talking about equally as well as

1:12:46

you do. I just don't over

1:12:49

the years, I just don't find that to be

1:12:52

the best thing to do.

1:12:54

I've never experienced anything

1:12:56

like that. So I can't add to

1:12:58

that. My family, despite

1:13:00

the things that I say about my mom, my mom is

1:13:03

kind of

1:13:04

a black sheep. If

1:13:06

there had

1:13:06

ever been family drama in my life growing

1:13:09

up,

1:13:09

I never knew about it. And on Thanksgiving,

1:13:12

Christmas, any holiday that

1:13:13

we were together, it was always

1:13:16

put that to the side for the holiday. I've never

1:13:19

seen anyone in my family fight. Now

1:13:22

as a 31 year old adult, I know

1:13:24

who's cut my mom off. But again,

1:13:27

that's new. I mean, that's the

1:13:29

last, I mean, and I

1:13:31

say new, but I mean, when I was 17 was

1:13:34

the last year my mom went to Thanksgiving.

1:13:35

So that was what 2000, I was pregnant with

1:13:37

Isaac. So 2009, as of 2009, nobody ever fought on a

1:13:40

holiday.

1:13:42

I've never seen

1:13:44

my family fight, like my extended family ever.

1:13:46

And it's like a very

1:13:48

double edged sword for me on that too, because

1:13:51

I don't like people showing

1:13:53

up and putting on a face for something

1:13:56

if that's not actually how they feel. And so

1:13:59

I would rather know exactly how

1:14:01

you feel and you address that issue with me or

1:14:03

me address that issue

1:14:05

with you instead of us all showing

1:14:08

up collectively in a way that

1:14:10

is just false. But at the same time,

1:14:12

I do understand it was a conversation

1:14:15

that Will and I had when we were married. I'm like, well, these people

1:14:17

that Thanksgiving that I sat out, I'm like, these

1:14:20

people are fighting with these people

1:14:22

and talking about these people behind their back

1:14:24

and we've said this and she's done

1:14:26

that. Why are we all showing up

1:14:29

acting like every thing is okay?

1:14:31

Yeah, I mean, I'm trying

1:14:33

to think of like Thanksgiving

1:14:35

after that one when I moved it to my

1:14:37

aunt's house.

1:14:38

You know, we, I definitely remember

1:14:40

having conversations about like my mom, like

1:14:42

what would we do if she showed up kind of thing, but

1:14:45

she wasn't there. So we couldn't, it's not

1:14:47

like we could have addressed it with her. You know what I mean? Like

1:14:49

it wasn't like we could have a conversation about it.

1:14:51

But even then people would say what they had to say respectfully.

1:14:53

I've never seen anyone in my family like

1:14:56

fight. The next one

1:14:58

I think is very, very important.

1:15:00

And this applies

1:15:03

even outside of the holiday, but

1:15:05

definitely within the holiday when you're

1:15:08

seeing

1:15:09

people for maybe the first time of the year

1:15:11

and you're inviting them into situations

1:15:13

that they don't belong. This

1:15:15

is a quote. It says, keep people, keep

1:15:18

your family out of your relationship, keep your family

1:15:20

out of your relationship business because your family, your

1:15:22

friends do not see this person like you see this

1:15:24

person. If you're telling them things

1:15:26

that are frustrating you,

1:15:28

you have to realize they're going to hold onto this and

1:15:30

judge this person for these things forever. You will

1:15:32

go on and forgive this person, marry this

1:15:34

person, kids with this person, and

1:15:37

you will have people in your family looking at this person

1:15:39

sideways off of some of the stuff that you've

1:15:41

stated. It all starts with you. And

1:15:43

I think that's just a good piece of advice because

1:15:46

that's so true. And that goes, that goes

1:15:49

with friends too. Like you

1:15:51

have to know which friends you can talk to about

1:15:53

your relationship because if any at all,

1:15:56

because the same thing goes for them. I

1:15:57

mean, I definitely.

1:15:59

had my fair share of times where I've

1:16:02

talked about my relationship and it's

1:16:05

bad or this, that, and the third, and they

1:16:07

hold

1:16:07

on to that. So that sucks. And

1:16:10

it's not something that I love, but

1:16:12

unfortunately, things have

1:16:15

changed my perspective about my friend's partners

1:16:17

and stuff because of certain

1:16:20

things that are unforgivable to me, are

1:16:23

not unforgivable to my friend.

1:16:26

So, you know, and I have to understand that

1:16:28

the same thing can be said about my relationships

1:16:30

or

1:16:30

what I go through in my relationship. So

1:16:32

that

1:16:32

goes across the board.

1:16:34

My nanny has always said, growing

1:16:37

up when we started dating, be

1:16:39

careful what you tell me because

1:16:41

I'm not going to ever forget it or

1:16:44

forgive it.

1:16:45

You might, and you're going to move on, but

1:16:47

I'm always going to hold on to that. And

1:16:49

when I read that quote, I was like, wow,

1:16:51

this woman is, has had

1:16:54

wisdom for a really long time that I didn't realize

1:16:56

that she had. There are

1:16:58

certain things that, and I

1:17:00

had to learn this over time and just

1:17:02

making mistakes that certain

1:17:04

things in your marriage or in your relationship are

1:17:07

meant to stay within that certain

1:17:09

things are meant specifically for therapy.

1:17:11

Because if you are trying to

1:17:13

address an issue and to get better in

1:17:16

your relationship from whatever issue that

1:17:18

you're going through, you should be

1:17:20

doing that through a healthy

1:17:22

channel, which would, in my opinion,

1:17:25

be a therapeutic setting.

1:17:27

Right.

1:17:27

And you should also be talking to

1:17:30

people that can look

1:17:32

at the situation from both sides and

1:17:36

have a, an overview

1:17:38

of the situation, not just seeing it from the

1:17:40

perspective of the person that's telling you. And

1:17:42

I feel like I've definitely been able to do that

1:17:45

with you and all of your relationships that,

1:17:48

you know, you tell me something and

1:17:50

we might both be pissed off with that person or

1:17:53

whatever. But when you're not pissed off at them anymore, I'm not

1:17:55

pissed off at them anymore. Yeah, no, same.

1:17:57

I definitely think I have my friends that I'm like.

1:17:59

If you told me something,

1:18:02

like

1:18:02

Will for example, I

1:18:05

only know him through you and I only

1:18:08

can go off of what you tell me, but if you tell me that

1:18:10

it's

1:18:10

water under the bridge and you guys are getting along, great, then I'm

1:18:13

happy for you. We're all

1:18:14

getting along. I

1:18:16

will forget what you said

1:18:18

when he was talking shit. You're like whatever,

1:18:20

he was on your shit

1:18:21

list. Same for Kristen. If she came to

1:18:24

me about something about her husband, I'm not going

1:18:26

to remember. One, I have a horrible memory and two, that's

1:18:28

just not who I am and who I look at

1:18:30

what their relationship is. I don't look too

1:18:33

that deep into it. Because

1:18:35

at the end of the day, I'm not the one fucking them. I'm

1:18:37

not the one financing them and I'm not the one feeding them.

1:18:39

Then

1:18:40

I do have other friends where I'm like, what

1:18:43

the fuck are you doing? But not my business.

1:18:46

I definitely have those situations

1:18:48

in my life too, but I have to remember

1:18:51

that it's not my situation and it's not my battle

1:18:53

to fight. If they're coming to me,

1:18:55

I'm going to shoot them straight on how

1:18:58

I would handle that situation. They choose

1:19:00

to listen and they choose to listen. If

1:19:02

they don't, then that's their choice because it's

1:19:04

their life. Yeah, agreed. I

1:19:06

agree. The last thing

1:19:08

that I saw and this was very

1:19:11

eye-opening to me. It says the final

1:19:13

boss battle is when you can walk

1:19:15

into a family dinner and not be triggered by

1:19:17

all the bullshit you hear. When you can sit

1:19:20

there with them and love them just the way they are,

1:19:22

you don't need them to change, you don't need them

1:19:24

to be better, and you don't need to convince them

1:19:26

of who you are. Then you know that you're right.

1:19:29

When you do that, you have the opportunity to actually

1:19:31

bring change to your family because you disrupt

1:19:33

their entire program. They're like, what

1:19:35

the fuck is this? What the fuck up is with Billy

1:19:38

Bob? Why is he different? At

1:19:40

first, they may be skeptical and

1:19:43

give you pushback because they want to see if something else

1:19:45

comes out. When there is nothing in

1:19:47

you that comes out, you are going

1:19:49

to mentally change their world. You're

1:19:52

not going to attack them or argue with them

1:19:54

into seeing the light, be the light, be love,

1:19:56

be acceptance, and be the value

1:19:58

that you want to see in them. And I think that is the

1:20:01

best piece of advice.

1:20:03

We've got to bring people together for this holiday season,

1:20:05

Lindsey. We don't want nobody fighting, no trauma.

1:20:07

I want to hear the positive

1:20:09

stories after Thanksgiving.

1:20:12

I want to read one of these Thanksgiving

1:20:14

stories that our listeners wrote in

1:20:17

before we get into foul play. And

1:20:20

this person says, we were doing a combined

1:20:22

Thanksgiving Christmas celebration because my parents

1:20:24

were traveling over Christmas. My mom

1:20:26

was upstairs for a really long time wrapping presents

1:20:29

and refused any help. So I thought maybe she was

1:20:31

upset about something. I caught my stepdad

1:20:33

just standing and staring at the turkey after

1:20:35

it was done cooking. Like he didn't know what

1:20:37

to do with it. Ask if he wanted help carving

1:20:40

it and he handed it over the knife. My parents

1:20:42

later admitted today of taking edibles before

1:20:44

anyone came

1:20:45

over. You cannot try things

1:20:47

like that for the first time during

1:20:51

a holiday event.

1:20:51

Like that's just not, like that's

1:20:54

something you try on a Friday

1:20:56

or a Saturday night when you have nothing going

1:20:58

on. That is something to see what happens

1:21:01

for, you know, if you're wanting to

1:21:03

do that for Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever. Like that

1:21:05

is something that you just do

1:21:08

when you're having company. I

1:21:10

told you about last Thanksgiving

1:21:12

and that happening to me and my dad by

1:21:15

one of my siblings, right? If you did, I don't

1:21:17

remember. Oh yeah. Everything wrapped

1:21:19

up. And one of my siblings thought

1:21:21

it was

1:21:21

a good idea to give my dad and I an

1:21:24

edible. And I thought it was a CBD

1:21:26

to me. And my dad also thought it was a CBD

1:21:28

to me. So joke was on us.

1:21:30

See that would irritate, I don't never want to

1:21:32

do that again. I have been

1:21:34

to smoke, like I don't now,

1:21:36

but in my lifetime

1:21:38

I

1:21:38

have smoked.

1:21:39

You know, it's just something that I preferred over drinking

1:21:42

and I'm not, it would be to go to sleep. It

1:21:44

has never been like I

1:21:46

could not smoke and then go function

1:21:49

for

1:21:49

a regular day. Like I just can't, that's

1:21:51

just not who I am. I don't like the feeling of

1:21:53

it. I don't like, I don't like

1:21:55

the stuck feeling if I'm going

1:21:57

to smoke, it's to go to sleep.

1:21:59

Don't know how people do that like

1:22:02

Smoke to go to sleep like

1:22:04

what once upon a time. I would go to go

1:22:06

to jail Yeah, go to

1:22:08

sleep, but see I can't go to talk Oh,

1:22:11

I can't I can't sleep on a full stomach.

1:22:14

Okay. Gotcha

1:22:15

I wouldn't have that like 2 a.m. And I'm starving

1:22:17

so like I'll be having the bubble guts

1:22:19

like oh Interesting that's not

1:22:22

that's not a thing like I need to eat and

1:22:24

enough time that I have enough time to take a shit and go Okay,

1:22:27

I'm gonna leave you take the floor for

1:22:30

foul play

1:22:31

I'm from Australia and went to America to be

1:22:33

a nanny for a year I went to my best

1:22:35

friend's host parents Lakehouse

1:22:37

in North Carolina

1:22:38

for Thanksgiving Well,

1:22:40

I never had shots of fireball before

1:22:42

and wow, they hit me like a ton of bricks I'm

1:22:45

sure they know my best behavior and

1:22:47

thought I had succeeded only to find out

1:22:49

two weeks later I had made out with the host parents

1:22:52

brother that night and everyone had

1:22:54

seen it I was 24 and he was easily

1:22:57

in his 50s after that.

1:22:59

I never went to a family event at their house ever

1:23:01

again Thank you for bringing the last each

1:23:03

week I want to know if she didn't go because

1:23:05

she wasn't welcome or she didn't go

1:23:07

because she was embarrassed

1:23:09

or was it a combination of both or was she

1:23:11

not like

1:23:13

I can imagine like Mary making

1:23:16

out with a 50 year old because I got drunk like

1:23:18

I can't that's that's like Funny, but

1:23:20

like not I hope you

1:23:21

all looking first of all at 24. I'm just It's

1:23:25

hard for me because my parents were so young whenever

1:23:27

they had me that there's like

1:23:30

a very fine line of

1:23:32

Age between like me and my parents

1:23:35

that is like not Charter like

1:23:37

I'm not dipping into that territory, right?

1:23:40

Oh, like you're saying you would never hook up with someone. That's your

1:23:42

parents age Well, correct.

1:23:45

So like but you might have a silver fox

1:23:47

me at 34 right now Dating

1:23:51

Trent at 40

1:23:53

That's about Tapping

1:23:55

it out right like

1:23:57

34. Yeah 40

1:24:00

43 would be like my

1:24:02

cutoff probably.

1:24:04

He looks good for 40. I feel like

1:24:06

I did not

1:24:07

expect that.

1:24:09

He's fine. I did not expect him to be 40

1:24:11

years old.

1:24:12

Yeah, no, he's 40. But

1:24:14

my dad's 54. So you know what I'm saying?

1:24:17

Like, I'm 34 and my dad's 54.

1:24:20

Right, right, right, right. So you

1:24:22

have to be careful with the silver foxes.

1:24:24

Correct. I never brought home

1:24:27

someone to a family holiday

1:24:30

that start creeping up on my dad's age.

1:24:32

That could be like his brother. Yeah,

1:24:34

like that's starting to get weird. Yeah,

1:24:37

yeah, yeah, I hear you. I'm uncomfortable

1:24:39

with that. I'm not judging anybody

1:24:42

who like goes for the silver foxes, like

1:24:44

more power to you if you

1:24:46

want to do that. But I think 40

1:24:48

is good

1:24:49

for me. I feel like 40 is good.

1:24:52

I don't think I'm mature enough for a 40 year old.

1:24:54

But like, if I was, I feel like 40 would

1:24:56

be good.

1:24:57

So I'm just gonna tell you really quick before we go

1:24:59

what my plans are for Thanksgiving.

1:25:02

I am going to start cooking soon,

1:25:05

trying to prepare all of my dishes

1:25:07

that I'm bringing to the

1:25:09

family dinner way ahead of time. So

1:25:12

I only have to put them where you only Trent

1:25:14

family and Trent

1:25:17

and I rented a cabin. And

1:25:20

so we're doing the cabin life and

1:25:22

I think we're going to try to do an excursion on one of

1:25:25

the days. I just

1:25:27

ordered a turkey fryer off of

1:25:29

Amazon. This is going to be the first year that

1:25:32

we have fried a turkey. My brother's really good

1:25:34

at frying turkey. I

1:25:36

have never done one. And

1:25:38

so I'm a little scared considering the fact

1:25:40

that we are renting someone else's home and

1:25:43

trying a turkey there.

1:25:44

Maybe outside. Well,

1:25:45

yeah, duh. I think that I

1:25:48

think I read somewhere at one point and maybe

1:25:50

we talked about it last year at Thanksgiving

1:25:53

that

1:25:53

turkey fryers cause like the most

1:25:55

health

1:25:56

fires. I just don't remember turkey

1:25:59

frying.

1:25:59

fryer was never a thing until like the

1:26:01

past 10 years. So I don't... They're

1:26:04

so good. It's the best way to do a turkey. So

1:26:06

I ordered a turkey fryer. So Trent's gonna

1:26:09

fry his first

1:26:10

Thanksgiving turkey. So God

1:26:12

bless him. And definitely

1:26:16

gonna be mixing up all of the drinks,

1:26:19

enjoying the time. Jackson's going

1:26:21

to be with Will, with

1:26:23

his family. And I would imagine they're

1:26:25

either gonna spend it at Will's parents or

1:26:28

at the lake. So that'll

1:26:30

be fun for them. And then

1:26:33

we'll switch holidays. So I'll have

1:26:35

him for Christmas

1:26:36

this year. It's always

1:26:38

sad when you're celebrating

1:26:40

something and you feel like your child should be there

1:26:43

and then they're not, but gonna make the best of it.

1:26:46

Gonna bring all of my dishes. The only thing that I

1:26:48

did not sign up to make was

1:26:51

green bean casserole. And it's

1:26:53

because we always do regular green beans

1:26:55

on Thanksgiving. And we've never had that

1:26:57

on our table.

1:26:58

And so I don't really know how to make it. And

1:27:01

Trent was telling me how much he loved green bean casserole

1:27:03

and I just didn't want to fuck it up. That's funny

1:27:05

because it's not Thanksgiving like this week,

1:27:08

but

1:27:08

I told... I saw a recipe online. I've

1:27:10

actually never had green bean casserole in my

1:27:12

life. Like I've never had it, but I love green

1:27:14

beans. I love every form, flavor, walk

1:27:17

of life when it comes to green beans. Love

1:27:19

them. So I sent him the recipe and I was

1:27:21

like, I really want you to make these for me this weekend,

1:27:23

please. So if we make the green

1:27:25

bean casserole and it's really good, maybe

1:27:28

Elijah won't make it for Thanksgiving. He's not

1:27:30

a green bean person. Will

1:27:31

you update me on this green bean

1:27:33

casserole situation? Yes, I absolutely do. Because

1:27:35

I just don't know that I can get behind that idea

1:27:38

of green beans being in a casserole

1:27:40

alone, not combined with something

1:27:42

else. If that makes sense. You know, like, yeah, yeah,

1:27:45

yeah. Sometimes people put green beans

1:27:47

like in other casseroles that have like

1:27:49

other things.

1:27:50

Kristen said it's so good. I've never had it in my

1:27:53

life. So I'll also

1:27:55

send you the recipe that I sent to Elijah asking

1:27:57

him to make it. So it is good. it'll

1:28:00

make it to our Thanksgiving table. And,

1:28:03

you know, he has been teaching the kids to

1:28:05

cook like regularly when I have them. So

1:28:08

they've been helping him make his mac and cheese

1:28:10

and things like that. So I'm really hoping that

1:28:13

this year it'll be like all of us helping.

1:28:16

Cause in the past I've never really helped cause I just

1:28:18

don't cook. But he, I mean, the

1:28:20

kids help him. And by help, I

1:28:22

mean, he tells them what to do and they do it.

1:28:24

So he's not really doing

1:28:27

it. He's

1:28:27

just supervising. I

1:28:29

love

1:28:29

hot neighbor. Yeah, it's

1:28:31

been really nice. He's been so good

1:28:33

for you. I hope, I'll keep

1:28:35

you, I'll let you know how it turns out. Kristen

1:28:38

says, if it's bad, you fucked it up. And on that

1:28:40

note, Peace out, note.

1:28:42

I need to go check on my landscapers,

1:28:44

fucking up my yard because it sounds like there's quite

1:28:46

a few things getting fucked up. So

1:28:49

if you guys have not followed us on at Coffee Combos

1:28:51

podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us

1:28:53

there. If you have not subscribed to the show, you

1:28:55

can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your podcasts.

1:28:58

Always first at podcast one, Happy Thanksgiving.

1:29:01

And we hope you guys

1:29:01

have a great week. Happy Thanksgiving,

1:29:03

see ya. Sometime

1:29:14

in the early 80s, Ario Speedwagon's

1:29:16

airplane made an unannounced middle

1:29:19

of the night landing. This is my friend, Kyle

1:29:21

McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks. And

1:29:23

he's telling me about how he discovered a real life

1:29:26

Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina, not

1:29:28

far from where he filmed Blue Velvet. What

1:29:30

was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming

1:29:32

in from South America. Supposedly

1:29:35

Pablo Escobar went looking for other

1:29:37

spots, quiet, out of the way places to bring

1:29:39

in his cocaine. My

1:29:44

name is Joshua Davis and I'm an investigative

1:29:46

reporter. Kyle and I talk all

1:29:48

the time about the strange things we come across, but

1:29:51

nothing was quite as strange as what we found

1:29:53

in Barnum Town, North Carolina. There's

1:29:56

crooked cops, brother against brother.

1:29:58

Everyone's got a story to tell. but does

1:30:00

the truth even exist? Welcome

1:30:03

to Varnam Town. Varnam

1:30:05

Town is available wherever you listen to

1:30:07

podcasts.