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You may

1:57

be Tom Cruisin for a bruisin, but I'm

1:59

Katharizata Jones. than for some bones and

2:02

vulcan to comedy bang bang ah

2:05

oh yeah very sexy start to the show

2:07

thank you to jack bennett jack be nimble

2:10

jack the i wonder if it's the famous jack be nimble

2:12

whoa that was quite a thrill to have him

2:14

writing in pitching cats race emissions

2:16

unfortunately i don't believe that one's

2:18

going to stick with thank you jack i welcome to

2:20

the show comedy bang bang for another week this

2:22

is of course humanities and

2:25

the animal kingdoms podcast don't

2:27

want to leave them out hope all of

2:29

our friends in the animal kingdom are enjoying the show

2:32

and we have a great one

2:34

coming up a little later we have an interior decorator

2:37

and

2:37

we also have a returning guessed

2:39

that is very exciting so an interior

2:42

decorator and someone who was

2:44

a guest and is back on the show

2:46

okay good show

2:48

good show butter before we get to them we

2:50

have a returning guest as well

2:52

as second return to guess but in the pole position

2:55

in a block she is

2:57

a writer and actor director

3:00

she

3:00

is in such shows

3:02

as big mouth and also

3:05

the movie that drop she

3:07

made her claim to fame with her

3:09

television show penis which

3:12

was on hulu ah

3:14

and she has a new television show

3:16

she's in called the after party season two

3:19

on apple tv please welcome back

3:21

to the show and a canco hello hello

3:23

bow is such a nice introduction was

3:26

it you have you like your eleven what yeah my introductions

3:28

they're actually i memorize that in the shower does that surprise

3:30

you yet does actually we did you have paper

3:33

found to have like a phone stand top

3:35

right into this the houses are and i'll move it over

3:37

here so you can yell can look at yeah yeah neither

3:39

paper a stand what does that mean like

3:41

of what were you reading in the shower in a manner

3:43

i i laminate my newspaper

3:45

every day every new york times i get new york times limited

3:48

edition so i get roman exclusively

3:50

in the shower i would buy that yeah

3:52

i do i welcome back to the show

3:54

it's so good to see we haven't seen you since penis

3:56

was on

3:57

i love that you call it penis we

3:59

hoped that people would call it penis. Why? What is

4:01

it? Pen 15. No,

4:04

it's right there. And it's the well, it's

4:06

a five. That's why intention. Oh,

4:08

you're that? Yeah, you're that person. Some

4:11

people called it penance.

4:13

Yeah, that's

4:14

that's a fun way to pronounce it. I

4:16

think so. Did they think it was a some sort of foreign

4:18

show? It was like, yeah, yeah, it was

4:20

from Russia.

4:21

Yeah. It's great to have you

4:23

back on the show. Of course, you did that

4:25

show on the Hulu network, which

4:28

I believe is a streaming service. Correct?

4:30

Yeah, the Hulu. Actually,

4:32

my aunt and uncle were like, is it going to be on

4:34

TV? They thought it was

4:37

a web series. Oh, yeah. TV was like

4:39

CBS, Fox. Yeah, I hadn't made it.

4:42

Let's run down the list. CBS,

4:45

Fox. That's it, right? Those

4:47

are the only two I can think of. Yeah.

4:50

But no, it was on Hulu, which, of course, one

4:53

needs to

4:54

download an app to get, I believe. Yeah,

4:57

I that I think so. Or you could just

4:59

go to the website and sign

5:01

in. I learned recently, I think there's a website. Is it

5:03

Hulu dot com or is it correct? Oh, really?

5:05

Yeah. Yeah. They're still doing that. Interesting.

5:08

Yeah. But now you've made the jump over

5:10

to a real streaming service. You're on

5:12

Apple TV, which is we've

5:15

talked about on the show before. It can cost twenty

5:18

five fifty, sometimes two hundred

5:20

and fifty, sometimes five hundred dollars per

5:22

month to have a subscription to.

5:24

Sometimes it's you're you need a down

5:27

payment in order to to get the. Correct.

5:29

Yes. Yes. And it's called Apple TV

5:31

Plus. Don't call it Apple TV because that's the device.

5:34

That's right. I've had to memorize that.

5:36

Do you think they are upset

5:38

that they called the Apple TV device

5:40

that because I would can remember it's

5:42

Apple TV? I would think it's a problem. Why didn't

5:44

they just change the name of the device to Apple TV

5:47

minus? Correct. And then the

5:50

network is Apple TV. That's brilliant.

5:53

You don't work for Apple. Unfortunately,

5:55

no. I turned down every single pitch I've ever

5:57

brought in there.

6:00

But the after party is

6:02

it's out now. And if

6:04

people haven't seen it, I

6:06

watched all of season one. And I think

6:09

fans of this show would really enjoy it. Ben

6:11

Schwartz fans, especially the Elgin, Mr. S

6:14

Beni Schwab. So good. He's really

6:16

good in the first season. And essentially,

6:18

what is the premise of this

6:20

show?

6:21

The premise. It

6:23

is a murder mystery comedy. I

6:25

know it's scary. Get ready. What'd you

6:27

say before comedy? Murder mystery.

6:31

The mystery mystery. And

6:33

every episode is from a different character's perspective

6:36

of what happened the night of the murder told

6:38

in a different genre. That's right. So in

6:40

the first season, you have like

6:42

Sam Richardson's episode was done in the

6:45

vein of a romantic comedy. And like Baron

6:47

Holtz's episode was done

6:49

sort of like a Fast and Furious kind of movie

6:52

and and then it has

6:54

a cast of people and then they whittle down

6:56

the suspects and you figure out who has

6:58

done it. By the end of the season,

7:01

correct? Would be weird

7:03

if it was episode two. That would be confusing.

7:05

But actually, that would be interesting to

7:07

find out and then be totally thrown off by

7:09

the end. That's right. Maybe the next season.

7:10

You know, Colombo was a

7:13

lot like that, where you would find out in the

7:15

opening scene who has

7:17

done it.

7:18

And then then what you

7:20

love about Colombo is you

7:22

think he's just some bumbling guy who's

7:24

like always talking about his wife and always

7:27

apologetic and he comes over and then what

7:29

he's really doing is he's gathering

7:31

information while he's pretending

7:33

to bumble about.

7:35

And this it took me probably

7:37

three seasons before I caught on to this technique. He's

7:40

just gathering information and then he solves the

7:42

crime

7:43

from all of this information. He's pretended

7:45

not to be gleaning while he's just there, you

7:47

know, being a total dipshit around these. So

7:49

it's truly all intentional. That's

7:51

what it seems like to me. I could be misreading the whole

7:54

thing. Inspector Gadget, same sort

7:56

of same sort of vibes. Inspector

7:58

Gadget? Yeah. You're

8:00

giving me a look like... I don't recall anything

8:02

that Inspector Gadget did other than

8:04

extending his arms robotically.

8:07

Well, he was trying to save

8:09

the world, I think. Well, sure. But

8:11

I guess Penny would, you know, appropriately would figure it

8:13

out. But it was not Inspector Gadget, a true bumbler,

8:16

who just stumbled his way into it. Yeah, you're

8:18

right. You're right. I'm regretting this immediately.

8:20

And I don't mean to correct you. No, no, no. No,

8:23

you're mansplaining. No, I'm just kidding. I'm

8:26

explaining the manly way. Right. I'm

8:29

not going to correct, also. So

8:33

you have the show has

8:35

been on for approximately

8:38

two and a half weeks at this point. And

8:41

your featured episode

8:43

is coming. You're in the cast this season. You're a new cast

8:45

member. Your featured episode

8:47

is coming out this week. Can you

8:49

give us any sort of information

8:52

about what genre this

8:54

is occurring in? I can. It's

8:56

the Wes Anderson genre. Wow.

9:00

So I felt lucky. It's really, you know, it's a little bit

9:02

of a love story. So I

9:04

felt okay. So very symmetrical

9:07

framing. Very sexy. Very

9:09

sexy. I mean, I don't know. It's

9:11

not really that. Are his films sexy, would you consider

9:14

them to be? His films are,

9:16

yeah. Very, a lot of composition. A lot of-

9:18

Yes, if you find that sexy. I mean,

9:20

who doesn't? Symmetrical

9:23

sex? Anyone? No. I

9:25

mean, is it fun to be a, do

9:28

you, here's a question. Okay. I

9:30

really got to figure out how to phrase this. Do

9:32

they tell you if you're the murderer or not

9:36

before you film the murder scenes? Yes.

9:38

So you can lay that in? Yes. So

9:41

you're the murderer? Correct. I'm

9:43

just kidding. Imagine. Yeah.

9:46

When you sign on, you kind of know

9:48

if you are or not.

9:50

Okay. So before you sign on

9:52

or when the minute you sign the thing, you're like, fuck,

9:54

I'm the Then you get an email from

9:57

Apple, NDAs. Hi, you're a murder.

10:00

door. I would imagine they

10:02

entice someone to work on it because they're the

10:04

murderer. And that's, that's, you know, anytime you see a CSI

10:06

episode or something, whoever the biggest star is, they're

10:09

always the murderer. Because they want that juicy, juicy

10:11

murder scene where they go, yeah, I fucking

10:13

did it.

10:14

That's true. I wonder if we look at who's the

10:16

first on IMDB, you know, who's the highest

10:18

rate of the cast and oh, I want it. You want

10:21

to do it right now? Sure. Let's do it. Okay.

10:23

Let's see IMDB, the

10:25

after party. All

10:27

right. I want to guess, but I feel

10:29

like that's not... What were you on the call

10:31

sheet? If you don't mind me asking,

10:33

what number? I think I want to guess six. I

10:35

don't really remember. Six or seven? You,

10:38

you're guessing or you are saying you're guessing

10:40

because you don't want to seem like that was very...

10:42

No, I really don't remember. I feel like

10:44

you remember if you're one or two and other than

10:46

that, or I'm, you know, I don't know. Right.

10:49

No, I swear to God. Maybe nine?

10:52

Maybe nine really is as low as nine. That's it. Well,

10:55

it's a cast of 11, I

10:58

think. Right. Okay. Okay.

11:00

Is Alana Phillips in this season or the last season? Last.

11:02

Okay. So

11:04

other than the top three who are from the

11:06

previous season,

11:07

number one, according

11:09

to IMDB

11:11

is our man, John Cho.

11:13

Interesting. Interesting. Is it not?

11:15

Interesting. I can't say anything, but it

11:17

is interesting. He has top line movies. Okay.

11:21

So it makes sense. He was in the

11:23

Between Two Ferns film. Oh

11:25

yeah. I love him also. Yes.

11:28

Great guy. And so

11:30

interesting. Now below him is Paul Walter

11:33

Hauser from Cobra Kai.

11:36

Interesting. And then Ken Jeong, who has

11:38

been in movies certainly, but now he's doing the

11:40

Masked Singer.

11:41

Yes. Yes. What an interesting

11:44

career move. I know, but

11:46

he loves it. He loves it. I mean, it seems

11:48

endlessly entertaining

11:48

to be a part of. Yeah. To sit there and

11:50

wonder if you're going to get measles from Jenny McCarthy

11:53

every week. Oh

11:55

God. Am

11:58

I the last on that?

11:59

No, you're under Ken. Let's go back. No

12:02

way. You're under Ken, you're above Poppy

12:04

Lou. You're above Elizabeth Perkins.

12:06

Okay, well that's wrong. From he said, she said. I regret

12:09

asking now. You're above Zach Woods.

12:12

I'm as surprised as you are. Can you imagine?

12:14

That tone. You're

12:17

under, no, I'm sorry, you're above. Did

12:20

I say under or above?

12:21

I don't know, who cares? I don't know, who cares? Well,

12:24

I thought that there would be a joke in learning that I

12:26

was last, but there wasn't. No, no, no, you

12:28

actually are. You're right under

12:30

Ken. Right in the middle. No,

12:32

you're in the top. You say 11 in

12:34

the cast, you're like number three. Okay,

12:38

I'm fully regretting this. Yeah,

12:40

I just thought that. What's your star meter ranking? Should we look

12:42

that up? Oh God. Let's

12:45

look it up, okay. Anna Konkle

12:47

is on the show, Comedy Bang Bang. Where is the star

12:49

meter actually? I'm literally

12:51

getting hot shame in my cheeks.

12:54

Where is it on the page? I'm

12:57

not sure. Okay, just checking. Okay. Top

13:01

right. I

13:04

don't know, I don't know where to find this unfortunately. I'm

13:07

just kidding, I have no idea. I've never looked for it, I've just heard about it, the

13:09

star meter ranking, but I mean, you're up there. Congratulations,

13:11

Anna Konkle. Thank you so much. Look

13:13

at that one. Where was that

13:15

from? That's from the

13:19

Emmys. The Emmys, which you were nominated

13:21

twice. This is so nice.

13:24

My therapist recently said that when I say

13:27

nice things about myself, I sound cocky because

13:29

I have to rev myself up

13:34

to do it and

13:36

then it sounds almost inauthentic,

13:39

I think. I see, I see. What's the takeaway? Everyone's

13:41

like, you need a new therapist. She's great, I love

13:43

her, but it is interesting.

13:46

A therapist is supposed to point out annoying

13:49

tendencies about what you're doing or

13:52

actual problems you have that you're trying to work through.

13:54

I've always drawn most to people that have

13:56

the most criticism. I see, how interesting.

13:58

A little bit. I don't you don't

14:00

want to get away with too much. You know,

14:03

so you're like those

14:05

people like mystery and although who who

14:07

were negging people, you know, the game,

14:10

you know, the day, you know, the dating thing. Oh,

14:12

yeah, yeah. Mystery. Wasn't that a guy who wore a

14:14

top hat?

14:15

Oh, that's a person. I have no idea.

14:18

Mystery is a name. I believe his name is mystery.

14:21

I love it. I believe I believe he invented

14:24

the term peacocking. Isn't that true?

14:26

Which was all about like you have to wear Ed Hardy

14:28

clothes because you can't just wear like a like what I'm

14:30

wearing, you know, you have to like put on a little

14:32

peacock. You got a flare, you know, to let them know

14:34

that you're like a rock and roller. Got it.

14:37

I didn't know. You

14:40

don't have the exact same brain as me. I

14:42

wish I did. I sort of wish I wish

14:44

we could switch brains for one day

14:46

at least. And that's our new movie. Would it be

14:48

confusing you think I think you'd be walking around just

14:51

going like what the fuck is going on? I mean, this

14:53

would be broken. The your pad of

14:55

buttons. The pad of buttons. Yes. The button.

14:59

The most important thing in my life. The

15:02

after party, of course, is created

15:05

by our old friend Chris Miller, is it not?

15:07

Yeah. Yeah. How was it to

15:09

work with him?

15:10

I love him very, very much. And Anthony

15:12

King. Anthony King, our other old friend.

15:15

Yeah, they're right. The owner of Beetlejuice. Yeah. The musical.

15:18

The musical. I was very humbled

15:21

by how the show ran because when we did

15:23

it, I was very obvious when I was stressed.

15:25

I was really bumbling around, always very

15:27

frenetic, and they were very, very chill.

15:30

And yeah. Yeah. Well,

15:32

I mean, you know, people are given

15:34

these jobs and they've never done them before.

15:37

I'm sure you were great at it and people had an OK time,

15:39

but they're very stressful positions. Yeah.

15:41

And suddenly you're supposedly in charge

15:43

of 50, 100, 300, 10,000 people at a time. Right. 10,000. Yeah.

15:45

Yeah. A lot. Yeah. Yeah. It was

15:47

I

15:53

respect how

15:55

cool common collected they were. Yeah. Do you think

15:58

you would be more chill the next time you. are

16:00

in charge of doing a show and are you going to be in charge of

16:02

doing a show what's in the pipeline? I

16:05

think I would be I like to think I would be I mean if I

16:07

wasn't in it I also think that

16:09

that feels like you know not quite 15

16:12

hour days every day I don't know right

16:14

I'm not sure

16:16

but I would like to do it again yeah

16:18

yeah and you looked at any other

16:20

show that's out there right now and said like I

16:23

should just take over creating

16:26

your own show just take over someone else's no no

16:28

I find that intimidating I don't yeah no

16:30

no there's no show out there

16:33

that you would just be like I just I'll do that

16:35

no or even I'll do it worse I just want to take it

16:37

over

16:37

no what about you yeah there's

16:40

plenty of shows such as Abadielementry

16:42

let me do this yeah

16:47

I don't yeah new blood do

16:50

it what I'd be so right

16:53

that is the right mentality to have in this work is

16:55

like I would be that bad

16:58

I wouldn't be that bad I wouldn't be that bad

17:01

well and is there more

17:03

penis coming our way in

17:06

the future or you mean the show

17:09

or either hopefully

17:13

I'm really busy but

17:17

I not right now but hopefully someday

17:19

it's

17:19

the kind of thing you can always return to because

17:21

I don't know if you know this but you are not the actual ages

17:24

that you are playing true and so you can

17:26

always kind of like go back to

17:27

it but when we're in our 50s I do think about

17:29

that like what I would like

17:33

to think so but yeah and then you're you

17:36

know we're recasting all the kids at that point

17:38

yeah oh that's right but well you can just say they all

17:40

moved away or they'll murder suicide

17:43

right yeah I mean even by the last season

17:45

they they all looked like men and women

17:48

you know they all had facial hair and everything

17:50

because

17:50

it kind of took so long to this was

17:52

the the second Shazam problem I

17:54

believe we were talking about with our friend Adam Adam,

18:00

Adam, who's in Shazam? Is that

18:02

the kids are all getting older as well as the

18:05

adults who they're supposed to get into are now

18:07

also getting older.

18:08

What do you mean by get into it? Maybe

18:11

I should have rephrased that better. Nevermind,

18:16

just watch Shazam. Body swap, okay.

18:18

Yeah, that

18:20

was a problem I think. It's technically not a body swap. Well

18:22

just the get into it. Because the older people aren't

18:24

going into the kids' bodies. Although that is

18:27

a good idea for Shazam. What

18:29

kind of is Shazam? It's a good idea for a Shazam

18:31

movie that all of these superhero,

18:34

suddenly they have to be the kids. That is, that's

18:37

wonderful. Holy shit, let me write this down. Okay, you

18:39

and me, we're doing this. Yeah, yeah, I'm in. All right. I

18:42

need you to break the story, is that okay? Yeah,

18:44

yeah, absolutely. Because I'm not good with story. I'm technically

18:46

not good with dialogue either. What

18:48

are you good at? I'm good

18:51

at inspiration, you know? Like cheerleading.

18:53

Like this moment right now. Yes, exactly, you can do it. Oh yeah, you did

18:56

it great. Yes, exactly. All right, we're doing this.

18:59

Don't tell the WGA. I know, that's what I was thinking. Because

19:01

the whole pencils down thing is

19:02

like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well they won't. I don't know

19:04

how they'd find out. They're not good enough, we pick up a pencil. No,

19:06

no. Besides we use typewriters. Put pencils

19:08

down,

19:10

wild. Boy, wild. And

19:12

we may be on strike when this comes out with

19:14

SAG,

19:15

the other union.

19:17

I just read right before I came

19:20

here, although it'll be old news, thank you. Is

19:24

that the

19:26

networks we're bringing in,

19:28

federal mediators? Federal.

19:30

Federal. Well, we'll see what

19:33

happens by the time this comes out. It may be all settled,

19:35

but regardless, the after party

19:37

is out there right now. And this

19:40

dynamite episode, the Wes Anderson episode

19:45

is coming up this Wednesday. And

19:48

Anna Konkle is here and this is, I

19:51

cannot wait to see if you're the murderer. I think you're

19:53

the murderer. Okay. I think John Cho is the murderer,

19:55

but I think you're the murderer too. I bet you guys team up. Yeah,

19:58

I bet, yeah. Cause that's the thing like.

20:00

to do because it was I don't want to

20:02

spoil that it was one murderer in the first season

20:04

Uh-huh. So to throw everyone off

20:06

it's gonna be the two murder the scream basically

20:09

based you know where it's like, okay It's two murders

20:11

because then they can give each other alibis You

20:14

know, so I bet that's what you and John show

20:16

over the murder. So that's my prediction right

20:18

now Interesting. Alright, and then body

20:20

swap. I'm writing all these down body swap superhero.

20:23

Okay. Alright great We need to take a break when

20:25

we come back. We have an interior decorator.

20:27

We also have a another returning guest You

20:30

have a lot to talk about with the returning guest

20:32

I'm thrilled because you're gonna do and you can talk

20:34

about how it feels Yeah, and this person's had

20:36

a lot of husbands is that I believe so Yeah,

20:38

we will find out a little bit more about that

20:41

They've been on the show before and we'll talk about that big

20:44

big show Anna Conkle is here the after-party

20:46

season 2 Apple TV Plus we'll

20:48

be right back with more comedy bang-bang after this

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Comedy Bang Bang,

23:01

we're back.

23:01

Anna Conkle is here

23:03

from the Pina show and also the After Party coming

23:06

out this, well, it's out, but her

23:09

featured episode is coming out this week. And

23:12

we need to get to our next guest, if that's OK. I'm very excited

23:14

about this. Do you have a

23:16

space that you live in? A home?

23:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you?

23:20

I do. Yeah, I tend to. Got it. That's

23:23

great. Have you hired someone to

23:26

arrange furniture? Decorate?

23:28

Decorate, yeah. Yeah,

23:29

yeah, yeah, yeah. We have, actually.

23:31

Great. OK, well, so have we. So

23:33

we have a common interest in our next

23:36

guest. They are an

23:38

interior decorator. Please welcome Layla.

23:40

Hello. Hi. Hi. Great to meet you.

23:42

Great to meet you, too. This is Anna. Hi.

23:45

How are you? I'm great. Already

23:48

got a billion ideas buzzing around about this space.

23:50

Oh, about this space that we're in right now? Unsolicited,

23:52

of course, but. Yeah. Take the bull by the horns.

23:55

Feels super decorated. Like it feels

23:57

like maybe you got this. No?

23:58

I mean, it was. Yeah.

23:59

Yeah, but I mean, it could always use a touch

24:02

up or a refresh.

24:03

Up to you, your choice. No,

24:05

I'd love to hear the ideas. I mean, especially

24:07

if you think something in particular

24:10

is not working. Well, it's just pretty masculine

24:12

in this space. I am. Well,

24:14

and you'll see, I don't mean that as a compliment. Oh, okay.

24:17

With all due respect. Like

24:18

how masculine though, if you were to describe how masculine

24:21

my space is. Like beer barbell.

24:24

Cool. Yeah, man cave sort

24:26

of energy. Man cave meets like

24:28

lifting weights. Yeah. Stinky,

24:30

stinky musky. I'm

24:33

like, I would say the leading

24:35

feminist interior decorator. Or the leading

24:37

one. In this space. Yes. Right. Is

24:40

that a field that has a lot of competition to be feminist?

24:43

There is a lot of competition to be feminist

24:45

because you're working in lots of spaces that are

24:48

very dominated by men, like a hardware store

24:50

or kind of the world in general. And

24:53

I found myself. I don't know

24:54

of a lot of hardware stores that are decorated. I

24:57

guess. You're going to the hardware store. It's like

24:59

get stuff. Oh, at the hardware

25:01

store. Inside of a home using things,

25:04

materials sourced from the hardware

25:06

store, like found objects from the hardware

25:08

store. Not bought. Not bought. Oh,

25:11

well, I think the bravest thing you can do as

25:13

a woman is take things from

25:15

other places. So I'm actually working

25:17

to have the largest carbon footprint

25:20

of any interior decorator on the

25:22

globe.

25:22

Oh, okay. The largest. Wow.

25:25

Yes, because for so long, women have

25:27

been told by so much that we have

25:29

to take up like small amounts of space.

25:32

True. So thank you.

25:33

Like disappear. Hey, you know,

25:36

just stand in the corner.

25:37

Shrink yourself down. Stand in the corner.

25:39

Yeah. Stay in the corner. Yeah. So

25:42

that's basically like so many men's dream is to

25:44

shrink the woman and then. Yeah. Honey, I shrunk

25:47

her. Yeah. Honey, I shrunk you. Yeah.

25:49

And to me. Honey, I shrunk thyself. Honey,

25:51

I shrunk what I was. Is

25:54

my spin off. Right. I was shrunk

25:56

by so much. I was shrunk by honey. I

25:59

honey, I was. that to

26:01

be. Honey, I'm good. Honey shrunk me. Wow.

26:04

Romantic comedy. Ding, ding, ding. Yeah. Okay.

26:07

Also sexy. So what you want to do is you want to

26:09

take up the most space and you mean to do that

26:12

ecologically? Ecologically, financially.

26:16

Basically just being a massive disruptor

26:19

in the industry. What does

26:20

that mean in your industry to be a disruptor? Well,

26:23

I'm obviously, as I said,

26:26

taking found objects from Home Depot

26:28

and low.

26:30

Oh, it's depot. I believe the tea is silent.

26:33

Maybe not the case in a lot of words. Wanting

26:36

women to make it silent. I

26:38

apologize. Again, I apologize.

26:40

I'm sorry. I'll say it to deep hot. Thank

26:43

you. What do you mean found objects at home?

26:45

Deep pot? Because as far as I know, they have a lot

26:47

of stock and it all costs money to

26:49

take it out of the store.

26:50

Well, I

26:53

find things that don't have price

26:55

tag stolen.

26:57

Are you talking about stolen items? I know judgment. I

26:59

love this. But that is sort of the way

27:01

that the patriarchy wants you to look

27:04

at is exchanging of goods. Okay.

27:06

For me, it's all about finding objects

27:09

in spaces where women aren't welcome. So

27:11

for example, if I need a log,

27:14

I'll go to the Amazon rainforest

27:16

and cut one down because for

27:19

decades, women have not been allowed to go

27:21

there and cut down. Wow. Anything.

27:24

Just one log. But they get cut down. They get cut down

27:26

by

27:27

men logs. Yeah.

27:29

With the men. Okay. So I mean, that must

27:32

be very expensive, but that's what you're talking about. I mean,

27:34

just the jet

27:36

fuel alone to get down there. I mean,

27:38

that's incredibly wasteful. I would

27:40

say for one log.

27:41

Yeah. Which is why I wriggle into the

27:43

cargo section of planes so that I

27:45

can sort of offset costs on the way

27:48

down. And then I can put all of my resources

27:50

into hijacking a plane so I can get back home

27:53

with my log.

27:54

Okay. When you say wriggle, what's

27:56

the process there? Well, I just sort of

27:59

rearranged. myself so

28:01

that I can go in between body wise.

28:03

Like in a suitcase. Yeah. Okay. Or

28:05

in between suitcases. In

28:07

someone else's suitcase. I'll sort

28:09

of intercept

28:10

a suitcase. In a suitcase. Yeah. Or

28:13

in between suitcases or in someone else's

28:15

suitcases. These are the three possibilities of wriggling.

28:17

Yes. So often you'll see

28:19

a sidewalk person

28:22

taking suitcases

28:24

at the airport. So the sidewalk

28:26

person. Yeah, correct. And I'll

28:29

sort of stand in their place, intercept

28:32

a suitcase, dump out all the stuff that

28:34

was in the suitcase into the trash, get

28:37

into the suitcase, sort of

28:39

wriggle myself with my little feet dangling

28:42

out of the sides of the suitcases. You guys see those little feet there

28:44

by the way? Let's see how little they'll look. Yeah. They're pretty

28:46

small. I have to say

28:47

to Brad. They're not the smallest feet I've ever seen.

28:50

Well, that's disrespectful, but okay. Well,

28:53

I thought you wanted big feet. I was going to say. But women are

28:55

complicated. Women have no

28:57

one thing. It's not one thing, right? Yeah,

29:00

exactly. There are so many twos

29:02

within a woman and we have lots

29:04

of them. Okay.

29:06

So you wriggle into the flight

29:09

on the way there in a suitcase

29:11

and then you hijack the plane on the way back. Yes. Why

29:14

not hijack the plane on the way there?

29:16

Because it's just me. Like I don't need

29:18

to take up that much space on the way there, but then

29:20

when I have the log, I do need

29:22

a whole plane. Oh, I see. Have you been to

29:24

prison for the hijacking? I've

29:26

been near a prison, but I have not

29:29

actually been within a prison. So you haven't

29:31

done any of this yet?

29:32

No, I've done. Oh, you have. I've done.

29:35

You've done. I've done. So you've hijacked.

29:37

I have. But you haven't got a prison. Clean. Clean.

29:40

Well, are

29:42

you on the lamb or are you

29:45

wanted by the law? Do they know who you are?

29:47

You've hijacked planes.

29:48

I'm definitely very in demand

29:51

as an interior decorator. Yes. So people

29:53

are hunting for me often

29:55

because my schedule is so busy because

29:58

so much of it is spent in transit, which.

29:59

which I think everyone can relate

30:02

to, especially in this Los Angeles

30:04

traffic. I don't know how you guys do

30:06

it, Hollywood. Where are you from, actually?

30:09

I'm from just outside of Hollywood. Oh,

30:11

okay. Santa Carida? Yeah.

30:14

Cool. Be religious or? I

30:17

practice pretty much every religion.

30:19

Oh, at the same time or do you,

30:22

on different days of the week? In July, I will

30:24

practice every religion I wanna do, God

30:26

willing, slay. All right,

30:28

well, this is incredible. What

30:30

is your style, would you say? Your aesthetic?

30:33

My aesthetic is baskets. Huh,

30:37

I don't know that I've heard that. I mean, I know

30:39

like mid-century modern, but just baskets,

30:41

like? Big baskets. And you could be surprised

30:43

what you could fit inside a basket as long

30:45

as the basket is big enough for the objects. Okay,

30:48

well, let's run down the list. Rugs?

30:51

Rugs love to see those in a basket. Okay,

30:55

like pillows? You could put those

30:57

in a basket.

30:58

But the basket isn't big enough for them. What about that?

31:01

Oh, well, in that case, you could take out

31:03

all the stuffing from the pillow, throw that in the trash

31:06

or a river, and then put the skin of the

31:09

pillow

31:09

in the basket. I

31:14

guess I've never really thought of a pillow as

31:17

having skin. Well, the inside of

31:19

the pillow is the guts and the bones,

31:22

just like us, and the outside is

31:24

the skin.

31:26

The dermis. The epidermis.

31:28

Yeah, I don't know. Interesting,

31:31

so almost anything can fit into a basket if

31:34

the basket is big enough. If you're willing to break it also,

31:36

which some people are not, and those are not people

31:38

I'm interested in working with. If you

31:40

want your MacBook Pro to stay

31:42

in one piece so that it can fit inside

31:45

of a beautiful basket that I've sourced for you by

31:47

stealing it from the Metropolitan Museum of Art,

31:49

then maybe you are not a perfect match.

31:51

Okay, well, what if we role-played

31:53

this? Like, say that you're coming in

31:56

here and you want to redo this space,

31:58

and I'm a potential customer. Okay.

31:59

What would you say? Okay, so I'd walk in

32:02

I go. Oh, oh, oh You're

32:05

waving your hand near your nose like it smells.

32:07

It stinks in here No,

32:10

why is this a tactic like

32:12

like mystery when he would neck women? I don't know if you

32:14

know who this is

32:15

Oh my close friend from childhood. Oh,

32:17

you know mystery Yes, well, I have a few friends

32:20

named mystery. So you're gonna have to narrow it down. Okay,

32:22

he's the the the game But

32:25

you're still good. Okay, never mind. Okay,

32:27

but What is this

32:29

a one of my friends mystery works for

32:32

Hannah Barbara, so he's doing games

32:35

as well.

32:35

Oh, okay. I didn't know

32:37

Hannah Barbara was doing games I thought that maybe

32:39

has bro instead that I think probably

32:42

but has bro also does movies So it's the crossover

32:44

these days who knows but I guess what I'm trying

32:46

to ask is is this a tactic where you're saying? It smells

32:49

or do you actually think it smells?

32:50

I think pretty much every place stinks

32:52

like shit Well,

32:54

do you think that it's a problem with every place or

32:56

do you have like shit in your nose? I Want

32:59

I'm was wondering the same thing because there's a bidet

33:02

in there. So it shouldn't be yeah Have you

33:04

do like what in the morning? Do you like

33:06

go outside and then sniff

33:08

shit every morning? Well, I try

33:11

to not wipe as often as possible

33:14

Why would why I

33:16

get that? Yeah Because because

33:18

you can really develop a sensitivity to if you

33:20

want to only use the toilet paper when you really

33:22

need it

33:23

Okay, so I mean You're

33:27

being said. Yeah, it stinks like shit All

33:31

of that being said it's to you it stinks like shit

33:33

it Objectively, it stinks

33:35

like shit. Okay, so that let's let's

33:38

continue. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah,

33:41

I apologize for I don't you know, maybe there's

33:43

a plumbing issue. I'll try to fix that

33:45

But what do you think of the the place? Oh?

33:48

ugly Big

33:50

ugly, um big walls

33:52

wondering what we could do about that

33:55

big walls are a problem Yeah,

33:57

it's to me if you're gonna have the

33:59

walls you just should not have a ceiling. No

34:02

ceiling in the place. I feel like

34:04

we need the ceiling protection from

34:07

the elements.

34:08

Yeah, you think you need the ceiling.

34:10

You think you're not strong enough to weather the elements, but

34:12

I'm here to tell you you can weather the

34:14

storm, whether it's outside or

34:16

inside of you. So you don't mean like

34:18

a loft. You don't mean just like a

34:20

place with no walls and a very high ceiling. You

34:23

mean no ceiling. I would love to see this

34:25

house without a ceiling.

34:26

Huh. Okay. I mean, it's going to be

34:28

difficult because they're, they're actually this

34:31

ceiling. There's another floor right

34:33

above it. So I kind of feel like the

34:35

people who are above us would then suddenly like

34:37

crash to the ground.

34:38

It would be so amazing to be able

34:40

to connect with those people in the floor above

34:42

us by eliminating the ceiling in between

34:44

us.

34:44

Maybe we just put a fire pole in there, you

34:47

know, that we could slide up and down. I actually

34:49

have an amazing gun that I have been using

34:51

to blow holes in between floors.

34:54

Okay. Do you, do you have it with you? In

34:56

the car. Okay. Can we, can

34:58

I go to the car with you? No, you

35:01

can't because I, I really don't want you to know what kind

35:03

of car that I drive. Okay. Do you, do you mind

35:05

leaving and getting the gun? Yeah.

35:08

Oh, okay. Once we got,

35:10

I think I think like, do

35:13

you mind getting the gun? I mean, I'd love to just check out this. I'd

35:15

love to see it. Yeah. You say you have a cool gun.

35:18

I'm not really pro guns, but

35:20

I'm interested just for interior design. How

35:22

can you not

35:23

ask? I mean, you hear so much about a guy with a gun,

35:25

a good guy with a gun, but what about a strong

35:28

woman with a beautiful gun? Interior

35:30

designer. Yeah. So is it decorated? Not

35:33

yet, but we are working on it. Okay, cool. Okay,

35:35

go get this gun. I want to see this gun. Oh

35:38

my

35:38

God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I barely touched

35:41

you. Listen, Scott hit me. I

35:44

bare, I feel like I barely tapped you

35:46

on the, just trying to get you out of the room. Where'd you tap

35:48

me, Scott? The bud. I

35:52

apologize. I'm

35:55

from a different generation. Which one?

35:57

I'm an older generation where that used

35:59

to be. Cool. You don't know how old I am. Poking

36:02

butts. Oh, I'm just, usually it's a compliment

36:04

to say that you're younger than me. Well, I wanna

36:07

be huge and ancient. How

36:09

old are you? I'm getting my gun now. Oh

36:11

shit. Okay,

36:14

she just left the room. Hannah, this is strange. I'm

36:16

freaked out. I wish you didn't ask for the gun, frankly.

36:18

I don't know what I was thinking. I just asked if I could have the gun.

36:20

And it's the first thing that popped in my mind. And suddenly I

36:22

realized she's coming back here with a gun. And she's

36:25

on set. Oh Jesus. Hi.

36:28

Sorry. It's

36:30

okay. Do you have your weapon

36:33

with you? Yeah, it's strapped underneath my clothes.

36:36

John McClain style? Yeah. Are

36:38

you hitting on us? Yeah. Yeah,

36:41

you're gonna need to get it out of me.

36:44

I mean, you saw how you reacted

36:46

when I tapped your little butt. I don't know

36:50

that I wanna take your clothes off to grab your

36:52

gun.

36:52

Just taking space up, right? It's

36:54

not little. It's not little. I beg your

36:56

pardon, I shouldn't call it little. But do

36:58

you really, if you want me to reach in there. No,

37:01

no, no, no. I wasn't

37:03

talking to you. You were talking to Anna?

37:05

I was talking to Anna. I'll,

37:07

if you want. Get in. Okay. Are

37:10

you sure? Yeah. Okay, I feel

37:12

like super awkward. This is not sexy at all.

37:15

This is the most awkward angular.

37:19

And now Layla is grunting. Like

37:22

she's giving birth or something.

37:22

Well, it's attached to her skin. Oh, okay.

37:26

Okay, I don't know what. Oh,

37:28

okay. How's it feel?

37:31

It's quite light. It almost

37:33

feels like a not real,

37:36

but like. Yeah, this looks like a prop gun.

37:38

It looks, it's first of all, it's orange. Okay.

37:43

Open your mind up. Open

37:47

my mind up? Yeah. To

37:49

what? To this being, I mean, it looks like a plastic

37:52

toy gun that you got at the supermarket.

37:53

The possibility of a woman,

37:55

interior decorator, having an amazing

37:58

gun. So. This is a metaphor.

38:02

Yes. Got it. Okay.

38:04

Oh, so everything you've been doing is a metaphor, even

38:06

the fact that you smell shit everywhere

38:09

is a metaphor? I actually have no idea

38:11

anymore. So

38:13

you're like a performance artist, essentially.

38:16

In a way. Oh, and you're

38:18

here to help us understand things in a

38:20

different way, not to decorate the house? Well,

38:23

if you still like me at the end, I would love

38:25

to decorate your house. At the end, wow.

38:28

I don't know that I liked you at the beginning. Whoa.

38:32

So there's no creative vision, no judgment,

38:34

but zero creative vision for this room

38:36

or this house. I do feel

38:39

that there is something quite stinky about

38:41

the energy. Again, I just

38:43

think that's you, right? I don't.

38:46

I think there's something really stinky, and I think

38:48

the allies in the room will agree with me.

38:52

But other than that, yeah, no vision, other than to get the

38:54

spiritual stink out of Scott's

38:56

home. Okay, well, you know, I mean. You

38:59

sound like an energy worker, not an interior designer.

39:01

I say that with support, love. I trust you.

39:03

Feminism, me too, trust in you.

39:05

Okay, and I think you're just a crackpot,

39:07

but I don't know. And

39:10

also it sounds like you're on the run from the law,

39:13

and I could get a reward by turning

39:15

you in and calling the FBI right now.

39:17

Well, guess what? You're not gonna get a reward

39:19

because they actually don't even want me

39:21

because they say that I'm too annoying. So

39:23

nice try. I mean. And

39:25

this was all a metaphor.

39:27

Oh, I see. I mean,

39:29

I understand that. That is one

39:31

way to escape from the laws, just be annoying,

39:34

where they're just like, this is too much trouble. Yeah,

39:36

if you have such a rank personality

39:40

that they don't even wanna keep you behind bars.

39:42

It's good that you realize

39:42

this though. I guess. You're

39:45

the one who said it. Isn't it a prison? I think

39:47

living as me is enough

39:50

of a prison in and of itself.

39:51

That's a good point. I mean, we're all trapped in these bodies

39:53

that our parents gave us, and there's no

39:56

way out. Unless

39:58

you take the stuffing out. That's a good

40:00

point. Okay. Well, Leila,

40:03

I think you're bad at your job, but I

40:06

appreciate you coming here and telling us about it.

40:08

How much do you get paid to do a session?

40:10

Now I have yet to be paid. Okay, that

40:12

doesn't surprise me. Well,

40:14

we have to take a break. Does that surprise you? It

40:17

does, I thought I was gonna be here for a couple more hours.

40:19

Couple hours, wow. I mean, Anna, I

40:22

don't know, are you free for the next couple hours?

40:24

I wanna hear more about unless you take the stuffing

40:26

out. It feels, that felt like

40:28

a threat, but- No, we definitely wanna do that. Definitely

40:31

gotta go, Steve. But we do need to take a break. When we come

40:33

back, we have a returning guest.

40:36

And who knows, you may be there at some point too,

40:38

be a returning guest. Be back here? Sure,

40:41

I mean, crazier things have happened. Awesome.

40:43

I keep having the weirdest people back on this show. I

40:46

mean, you could come back at some point. Okay. Come

40:48

up with a new angle, something new that you're doing.

40:50

Tomorrow? I

40:53

mean, that might be a little too soon, but- The next

40:55

day, yeah. I can't wait. I

40:57

mean, we probably wanna look past this week at some

40:59

point. Okay, so Monday of next week. I

41:02

mean, we can certainly chat about this offline, but-

41:05

I'm gonna actually pull up my calendar,

41:07

but we can still take a break, but I am pulling up my calendar. You're pulling

41:09

up your calendar? You're booking me. Okay, I'm taking mine

41:11

down. Just to even

41:13

it out. Okay, we need to take a break. When we come back,

41:16

we have a returning guest. That's right, Myrtle McGee

41:18

is back.

41:19

We also have Anna Conkle and Layla

41:21

will be still with us. We'll be right back with more

41:23

comedy bang bang after this.

41:25

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42:53

How many Bang Bang

42:55

we're back. Anna Conkle is here, the after

42:57

party, season two.

42:59

Do you hope you'll be back for season

43:01

three? I'm not. I already

43:03

know. Oh. Thanks for bringing it up.

43:06

Sorry. No, I'm just kidding. No, it's good. They change

43:08

the cast every season. I know, but yeah,

43:10

I wasn't. What a bummer. That's okay.

43:13

Thanks.

43:14

What'd you get shot at the end of this one? Because

43:16

you were the murderer. Oh my God.

43:18

What are you doing to me? Shot in the

43:21

head. Come on. I can't

43:23

say anything. So you can't come back? Maybe you could come back. Sam

43:25

Richardson's back. I'm alive at

43:28

the end of the season. You're alive? Maybe.

43:30

Shot in the head, but you're like in a coma or?

43:33

Can't say. Okay. All right. We'll see. I've

43:35

been in a coma. Really? Why?

43:38

I don't want to talk about it. Oh, come on. Just

43:40

kidding. I was actually recently

43:42

in a coma. How recent? But I was basically

43:45

awake the whole time.

43:46

How so? I don't know that

43:48

that qualifies as a coma. I think the

43:51

only qualification of a coma is you have to be asleep.

43:54

Well, I was laying down at a hospital,

43:57

out in the lobby of a hospital, waiting.

43:59

Oh. What were you there for? I

44:01

was visiting someone very close to me. Oh, I'm

44:04

so sorry. Oh, thank you. You're welcome

44:06

Do they work at the hospital? Oh

44:10

I assumed they were a patient. I was

44:12

visiting my old roommate who works in the hospital.

44:14

Wow Got it. Your old roommate. So yeah,

44:16

I just felt I was laying kind of in the lobby

44:18

for a while And then they asked me to leave and I

44:21

realized that I was actually at the wrong hospital. Oh Okay,

44:24

good story though. Whoa Good

44:27

good for a podcast at least I

44:29

don't know in personal conversation if it's a good story,

44:31

but on a podcast I give it a b-minus

44:33

Thanks. No problem Um,

44:37

all right. Well, look we need to get to our next guest

44:39

and boy, uh, she is certainly a returning

44:41

one. Uh, You remember her

44:44

from previous episodes?

44:46

Or at least a previous episode. Please

44:48

welcome back myrtle McGee. Hello. Hello,

44:50

Scott. So thrilled to be back Thanks for having me. It's wonderful

44:53

to have you.

44:53

Yeah, I just want to start off by saying I am an ally

44:55

to Layla I do think it smells like shit in

44:58

here. The difference is I love it I

45:02

I don't know. Maybe there is a plumbing problem. I

45:04

don't really perhaps but don't change a goddamn

45:06

thing All right. Great to see you

45:08

myrtle. It's so happy to be back. Yeah remind

45:10

us, uh of your details Exactly

45:13

who you are and why you were on the show before sure I was

45:15

on the show last time because I was a widow 17 times

45:18

over I've lost 17 husbands None

45:20

of them to divorce Okay,

45:23

so they all passed away they passed away in various

45:25

tragic Situations. Yes.

45:28

All of them tragic a

45:28

lot of them relatively tragic and when anyone

45:31

dies, it's spectacular It is tragic, but it's more

45:33

tragic if you die with you know, a blowgun

45:35

or something to your trickier How

45:37

many blowguns to the trickier? There were two

45:40

two Remington the first and Remington

45:42

the second So was it do you think it was a Remington

45:44

issue? Like just possibly or maybe the second

45:47

one was just really excited about the story

45:49

of the first and thought he could top it Or something.

45:51

You know, Remington's

45:52

an interesting name because it's the name of a gun

45:54

and then the name of a private detective Yes,

45:57

played by pierce brosman. Yeah, and this is back in

45:59

the era where every

45:59

By the way, I also did have sex with him at one point, but did

46:02

not marry him. Well, no, he's been

46:04

with his wife for a decade. Yeah. We had a,

46:06

we've had a couple of fun weekends though. Really?

46:08

Yeah. She's not aware of it. Okay.

46:11

Wow. This is, I had no idea. Yeah. So

46:13

is that the only celebrity? Oh no, I've had many,

46:15

many celebrity relationships.

46:16

I've had 17 husbands, but I've also had,

46:19

uh, relations with a myriad of

46:21

other Hollywood elites. Oh, okay. So

46:24

you, you, I mean, you are a sex positive

46:26

guest. Very

46:26

sex positive. Yes. And you know, I

46:29

am back because well, last time I was here was 17.

46:31

It's now 18. I have lost another husband.

46:34

Oh, I was going to, I thought you meant you got recently

46:36

married. Oh, I did. And, and

46:38

he has passed. I'm so, so what happened with

46:40

it is true tragically as well. Yes. And

46:42

again, no need to ever say sorry about

46:44

it because I'm so thrilled to just be able to

46:46

love and be loved by people that I really

46:49

don't have to, you know, feel the

46:51

pain of it for more than a day or two.

46:52

Oh, really that quickly. So

46:55

what happened with this one? And what was... Well, this one, see,

46:57

okay. So my last, my 17th husband, I

46:59

had talked about last time it died because, uh,

47:02

he was entering a chubby bunny contest.

47:04

He was trying to, um, describe

47:06

a chubby bunny contest again. Chubby

47:08

bunny is where you try to fit a

47:10

lot of marshmallows in your mouth at the same time

47:13

without swallowing them, without

47:15

swallowing. Has anyone

47:16

ever entered one of those and like snuck

47:18

a swallow in there? Probably. But

47:20

sneaking a swallow is harder than you think. And I think

47:22

that's actually what happened to my 17th

47:25

husband, Arthur, because he had 71 in his mouth. And

47:29

I spoke about this last time. He ended up flailing

47:32

his arms about and we thought it

47:34

was a celebration. No, they're

47:35

full size marshmallows. He had a

47:37

huge mouth and did he do

47:39

wonders with it? My God. Now

47:42

he was flailing about and we thought it was a celebration

47:44

and turns out, of course it wasn't. Oh, okay.

47:46

You thought it was him like he was in school

47:48

at the game. Because he had just beat the world record. That

47:50

was his, that was his goal. And the world

47:52

record was 70? Yeah.

47:55

I believe, or maybe it was 71. I'm missing

47:57

the number now. Anyway, I was there and

47:59

he passed. which was of course very sad, but

48:01

I did meet another gentleman there because

48:04

it was a world record convention I

48:06

don't know if you know how this works, but they do big conventions

48:09

where you try to You

48:11

know win different world records all at the same place

48:14

on

48:14

the same weekend Yeah, I think our friend

48:16

our friend Fred Guinness is probably probably

48:19

would be at one of these Yeah, I don't know if you know he was

48:21

on the show a couple of weeks He's

48:23

in charge of the Guinness Book of World Records

48:25

I'm surprised you don't know about

48:27

it if you had a whole conversation with him Oh, I don't think

48:29

it ever came up because we were too busy arguing Pulling

48:33

oneself up by their bootstraps. God what

48:35

that means? I understand but

48:39

So so he was in charge or he was just

48:41

there. Oh,

48:42

he was just there He's working on it. He was working

48:44

on another world record himself. What was

48:46

his world longest beard? Really?

48:49

How long was his beard five feet and

48:51

three inches? That's long. Yeah Three

48:57

Short man long beard Which

49:00

was really fun for me really fun The

49:02

height difference was actually kind of cool

49:04

in where he he ended up right at nipple

49:07

height and that was exciting Okay.

49:08

Yeah, you you're you could

49:10

just stand there and he could be do you know it

49:12

really comfortably just standing He would be really

49:14

pleasure. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's

49:17

more than maybe I need to know about that particular

49:19

situation but up to you and then Long

49:22

beard it would it be sort of like a train

49:24

like Princess Diana?

49:25

Yeah, I mean typically he would roll

49:27

it up most of the time. Oh, yeah, cuz I mean, what

49:29

do you what do you gonna do? We

49:32

think you roll it up. You wrote it. Well, you still

49:34

have to wash it though, right? I'm

49:37

not arguing with that. I would hope you

49:38

well you do it turns out you do It's not

49:40

like dreadlocks or something where you just let it go It

49:43

was you know You do have to keep it kept just like

49:45

the rest of the hair on your body And so one night

49:47

we went to sleep and he had just done a nice washing And

49:50

he forgot

49:50

to roll it up before he fell asleep, which

49:52

is dangerous. Why is that because because

49:55

like a felt a tremor

49:57

he thought there was an earthquake and he

49:59

hopped out of bed so fast he tripped right

50:02

on that beard and he just hit his head right on the corner

50:04

of my magazine stand and he was done. Oh no,

50:06

you have a whole stand for your magazines. Yeah, I do.

50:09

It's a sharp stand. No, that's so dangerous. It's

50:11

a sharp cast

50:12

iron stand. Hi. Yeah.

50:15

Just for magazines? I love magazines. Which

50:17

ones do you subscribe to? What's the Woman's

50:19

World? Woman's World is

50:21

my favorite magazine. Each week

50:23

there's a new one. And you have to say, what's the one? It's

50:26

your favorite though. Well, it is my favorite.

50:28

I absolutely adore it because each week there's a

50:30

different amount of time that

50:32

they give to lose a different amount of weight.

50:35

So they're like, lose 17 pounds in 10 days. But

50:38

then you look at the next week and it says, lose 34

50:40

pounds in 24 days.

50:42

And you're like, which one's better? You

50:44

can just try to do that. You have to find a common

50:46

denominator of all these. Sure. But

50:49

then right below it, it also gives good

50:49

recipes for things like cakes and muffins.

50:52

Yeah. Mixed messages. Which

50:54

I also love. Yeah. Mixed messages and muffins.

50:57

Yeah. And you've lost

50:59

any weight using these? Nope. My weight has

51:01

remained exactly the same since I was 14. Oh,

51:04

how much do you weigh? Do you mind me asking? I weigh 90.

51:07

I'm going to go around the table. Okay.

51:10

And then Layla? Two. Two.

51:13

I'm not telling you. It's two times something. Two

51:15

times something. And then Anna, what are we weighing

51:17

in at? Yeah.

51:20

Okay. Congratulations. And

51:22

what did you say? I don't

51:24

go a pound over 99. That's right. I tried.

51:27

You're

51:29

approximately a chest and a head

51:32

above 311. Exactly. Just

51:34

one. Exactly. Just from nipples up.

51:37

You just got about a foot. Yeah. Yeah.

51:40

I'm sorry Anna. What were you saying? Oh, are

51:42

you from the East Coast? Yeah. Yeah.

51:46

Really? No, is that a compliment or? It

51:48

is. No. Yeah. They're

51:52

like, we called Fremont. Yeah. Massachusetts, Vermont,

51:54

lived in both and I feel right. Am I wrong? I'm

51:56

from Roayton, Connecticut.

51:58

Okay. Roayton. Roayton.

52:00

Yeah, Roayton to get there. Sounds

52:03

like Croatia, but it's different. Uh,

52:05

yeah, it isn't Croatia, Connecticut. No, it's

52:07

very different. It's quite different. Two

52:10

different places in the world. Right. Yeah. So

52:12

you were you watching, uh, what was your

52:14

husband's name again? Mystery. His

52:17

name was Mystery? His name was Mystery. I heard

52:19

you talk about that earlier. I said, is that the same mystery? We're talking

52:21

about the same person. No, we're not. Not the same person. No,

52:23

no. Uh, were you watching this

52:25

happen? Have you watched all of your husband's pass

52:28

away? I've seen most of the deaths. Yeah,

52:30

I've seen most of them. I wasn't, I was out

52:32

cold. I had taken a lot of Nyquil the

52:34

night before.

52:35

Oh, how much? Six. Six

52:38

doses or six bottle or what are

52:40

we talking about? We're talking pills and six

52:42

sleeves. So, you know how each sleeve

52:44

has like eight pills on it. I

52:46

can't remember how it's oriented. That's a lot of people. But

52:48

yeah, I was sick.

52:49

Can you OD from Nyquil? Sure, I

52:51

would assume so. I didn't wake up for

52:53

a couple days. I was told a couple days later what

52:55

had happened. I guess you can OD from anything, any

52:58

substance. Yeah. If you like, uh, water,

53:00

paper. You can. Anything. Yeah. Water. Yeah, I

53:02

had a husband. Do I drink too much water? You

53:05

had a husband die of drinking too much water. Sure.

53:07

Absolutely. If you go to Coachella

53:09

and you are on a lot of different drugs, you

53:12

tend to feel quite thirsty. So you'll drink

53:14

a lot, a lot, a lot and they warn you, they say don't

53:17

actually drink too much water because you could drown

53:19

your insides, but you get so thirsty and

53:21

it's so hot out that you don't know. And that is

53:23

what happened.

53:24

This is, and he was at Coachella? At Coachella.

53:26

Yeah. Was he performing or? No, he was one of the

53:28

security guards. Oh, okay. His name

53:31

was Otto.

53:32

Otto. A-U-T-O. Like

53:34

the car. Really? Yep. How

53:38

interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Did he have a love

53:40

for that kind of work though? I mean, at least he loved it.

53:42

Absolutely. He loved it. He loved standing

53:44

right at the front of where the concerts are because,

53:47

uh, you know, people do that thing where they

53:49

float bodies in the air. What's that called? Body passing?

53:51

Yes.

53:53

You've been alive a long time, but

53:55

we all forget things that we've, you know, seen a

53:57

lot. It may have been called body passing or something. sounds

54:00

a lot like death, which is

54:02

funny. Yeah, exactly. And you know, at

54:04

some of those concerts, you feel like you're dying. You know, there's a lot of

54:06

fun things happening. Anyway, he would like to stand

54:08

at the front.

54:09

I don't know what you mean by that. He liked

54:11

to stand at the front because he'd like to collect the body

54:13

passes or the floaters, whatever you

54:15

call them. Collect

54:19

them. What do you mean? You know how they have

54:21

to end someone. Have you ever been one of

54:24

the people pushing someone above you? And then

54:26

you're like, I want to wear

54:27

this person ends up. I just assume

54:29

that they go into a Stargate or something like

54:31

that. I always thought so too. And then I did it. And

54:33

once you get to the front, you're like, what the fuck

54:35

is going to happen to me now? You crowd surfed,

54:37

Myrna? I know. I wouldn't have thought. Oh, yeah.

54:39

Yeah. Wow. That's so cool. Yeah.

54:44

And now I do it regularly. I have a crowd surfing

54:46

team. Really? A group of people that we do crowd

54:48

surfing together. We just go to someone's house, go to the basement, we

54:50

just crowd surf from one end of the room to

54:52

the other. You can't go to a low ceiling basement. No,

54:55

it's a high ceiling basement. You might like it, Layla. Sounds

54:57

nice. Yeah. In fact, I mean, there is a ceiling

54:59

on there, but by God, there is

55:01

a really good argument to just take it as a ceiling. I

55:03

would be just frigging so

55:06

stoked to get my gun

55:08

on that. Yeah. Yeah. It's really fun.

55:10

You can join sometime. Maybe you can read it for me. I thought

55:13

you're so easy to crowd surf because you're so little and so leathery.

55:15

I'm leathery and light. I'm

55:16

agile. You're like a wallet.

55:19

Yeah. Like a human wallet. Exactly. But

55:22

you have a chain on you as well, which is really interesting.

55:25

I do wear this chain around my neck just

55:27

so that if someone had to grab me, they'd have something to hold on

55:29

to. Because if you grab onto my skin, it's really... I'm like, I'm going to clip you in

55:31

my belt. Yeah. Yeah.

55:34

I just try to do that for safety.

55:35

Yeah. Wow. That's so interesting. I mean,

55:37

a terrible tragedy that happened to Otto. Oh,

55:39

yeah. Awful. Awful. But I didn't know about it

55:41

until a couple of days later. And by that point, like I said, I never really

55:43

mourned someone for more than a day or two. So the mourning sort of

55:45

happened while I was asleep to the night quill.

55:47

Yeah. Are you on to someone new?

55:49

I mean, have you... Well, I thought I could

55:51

come in today and maybe we could figure

55:54

out a way to find someone

55:56

for me in your sphere of the world.

55:58

Oh, is someone that I like... Maybe in the comedy

56:01

world. See, I figure you've got a show called Comedy

56:03

Bang Bang, right? And I figure there's probably

56:05

an app

56:06

that goes with this Comedy Bang Bang where you

56:08

meet someone in comedy that you bang bang. Yeah.

56:11

Oh, I mean, that's a different way of looking at it, but I could

56:13

definitely- If there's not one, you could build one. Sure. Yeah.

56:15

You're not doing anything right now.

56:18

If I could build it, then you could come. Yes. Oh my God. Now

56:20

that's the model.

56:20

Yeah. There

56:24

it is. Okay. Should we try to figure this? I

56:26

mean, what are you looking for essentially? Well, I'm looking for one

56:28

person in particular. And if you have a connection to him, I would

56:31

love to know. It is a young up

56:33

and coming comedian who I, I'll tell

56:35

you where I see him. I see him on the,

56:38

the, when I get my gas at the quick and stop,

56:40

there's a screen right next to the pump and

56:42

he does the news on that screen.

56:44

It's like the quick and stop news or

56:46

something. It's not a little video

56:48

that plays. His name is Mario

56:50

Lopez. Oh, Saved by the

56:52

Bell. What? From Saved by the Bell?

56:54

I'm not aware. Okay. Yeah.

56:57

Yeah. Mario Lopez, he's, I don't know that he's

56:59

necessarily a comedian as much as- He's funny.

57:02

Oh, I'm laughing. Boy, is he funny. I'm laughing. I

57:05

mean, that's really, it really hurts to hear.

57:07

I fill up my gas and

57:10

then I get so hot, I get so hot and

57:13

bothered when I'm filling my gas that I have to drive it out with

57:15

the windows down for a long time to cool down. But

57:18

ironically, what that does is it just runs me out of gas.

57:20

So I head right back to the gas station and fill her

57:22

up again. It's

57:23

kind of a vicious cycle. Yeah. Well, you

57:25

can see him at your home on, I believe,

57:27

Extra is one of the shows that he's on. He's

57:29

a correspondent. You know what? I could have Googled

57:31

this before I got here. You could- Yeah.

57:33

I mean, I honestly, I wish a lot of our guests

57:35

would Google things before they come on here. But-

57:39

That's something to think about. Well, if

57:41

you have any sort of connection to him,

57:43

though I'm interested in anyone. I mean, I have

57:45

had lovers in the comedy industry-

57:47

Like who? In my days. The

57:50

Marx Brothers. All of

57:52

the Marx Brothers? Several of them. Groucho. Yes.

57:54

He had that quote where he didn't want

57:56

to be a member of any club that would have him

57:59

as a member.

57:59

But that is just not true because I built

58:02

a club for him and his member and he joined

58:04

it vigorously. Whoa, many, many

58:06

times. Oh my goodness. Yeah.

58:10

So you had Groucho. Did

58:12

you have Harpo? Harpo,

58:13

little, little, little. Chico Zeppo? No,

58:15

but I did have Carl. Carl, oh,

58:18

Carl, wait, Carl Marx? Yeah, but I didn't understand

58:20

his comedy.

58:21

Oh, I don't know that he was funny. Yeah,

58:23

I mean, he was into joining the worker and

58:25

the means of production. He called his penis

58:28

the worker and I called my lady

58:30

bits the means of production. Oh, wow. And

58:32

you call his penis penis. I do call his penis

58:35

penis. Just his or all the lovers. Just

58:37

Carl. He really preferred that. Interesting.

58:39

And I try to respect people's preferences.

58:41

So if you had any comedians since the Marx

58:43

Brothers, because that's a long time. The Stooges.

58:46

The Stooges, okay.

58:47

Yeah, we would all get together. Contemporaries of the Marx

58:49

Brothers. Yeah, we would all four.

58:51

We did lots of foursomes and they called

58:53

it Slaps Dick. Okay.

58:56

Slaps Dick. And that's Duck. Slaps

58:58

Dick. Yeah, and that's Duck. You've heard

59:00

that phrase. I've heard of slapstick, but I

59:02

think people are mispronouncing it. Slapstick? What am I saying? Uh,

59:05

you're saying Slaps Dick. Slaps Dick. And what are you

59:07

saying? I'm saying Slaps Stick. Slaps

59:11

Stick. Stick. Like, uh, not

59:13

a dick, but a stick. Slapstick. Do you, are

59:15

you guys hearing the difference? Yeah,

59:17

one's, uh, from a tree and the other

59:20

is, uh, a physical flush member. Copy.

59:23

I don't mean to point at you, but I, I'm not, I don't

59:25

mean to make a sound. I don't know why you're singling me out

59:27

in this room, but, uh, not

59:30

sure either. I have a subtle thing here.

59:33

I'm so sorry.

59:37

I'm so sorry. So,

59:40

uh, the Stooges, you have Larry, Mo, Curly.

59:43

Yeah. Yeah. And Curly, uh,

59:45

didn't have any hair, but that's not true all over his

59:47

body. Oh, he had shortened Curly's. He had, I

59:49

was pulling Curly's out of, I was coughing

59:52

him up for weeks. Curly's, Curly's.

59:54

Do you have kids? Cause a lot of this

59:56

is explicit and I'm just like, I love it.

59:58

I respect it. I

1:00:00

did lose track and I think that's okay.

1:00:03

Oh, you don't know them all. No,

1:00:05

there are plenty of men in the world who don't remember how many

1:00:08

kids they have. Why can't I be one of those people? I

1:00:10

bet if you were to ask Nick Cannon how many kids you have,

1:00:12

five days out of six, he would not know. Definitely

1:00:14

not know.

1:00:15

Yeah. No. All right.

1:00:18

Well, that's great.

1:00:19

Yeah. So they're around though. Do you think Nick Cannon

1:00:22

changed his name

1:00:22

because of his penis, like to call

1:00:24

it a cannon?

1:00:25

I know who Nick Cannon is. I do. Oh,

1:00:27

I do. You like Nick Cannon. He's very sex-minded.

1:00:30

I mean, he's pretty good. Yeah, he's pretty good in the bedroom.

1:00:33

Oh, you've had Nick Cannon in the bathroom. Yeah. Well,

1:00:35

we had sex on a pontoon one time. On a pontoon?

1:00:38

Yeah. What is the situation that

1:00:40

would have you to be love making on a pontoon?

1:00:42

I was in some

1:00:45

lake in Minnesota. I rented

1:00:47

a pontoon and he was the one filling

1:00:50

up my gas, Nick Cannon. That was his name. I

1:00:53

don't think this is- Oh, just A. Nick Cannon. Yeah, this

1:00:55

is not the Nick Cannon. I believe it's Nick Cannon.

1:00:58

I don't know if you know this, people have

1:01:01

similar names sometimes, and even the same name, but

1:01:03

they're different people. Tomato, tomato.

1:01:05

Yeah, that's a similar name. Potato,

1:01:07

potato. And referring to they

1:01:09

are the same people or

1:01:12

the same thing. Their, their, and their. But what I'm saying

1:01:14

is just things can have the same name and then be different

1:01:16

things. Oh, I understand. Which does not occur in

1:01:18

the dictionary because, well,

1:01:20

I guess it does, like rock and rock

1:01:23

are two different things. Yeah.

1:01:26

If you know the things I'm picturing

1:01:28

when I say both of them. Rock

1:01:29

and rock. Yeah, I can,

1:01:31

I can picture big rock. I can picture a little rock.

1:01:34

Yeah.

1:01:35

Yeah. Interesting.

1:01:37

So you, I don't know that I have any sort of connection to Mario Lopez.

1:01:40

I'm so sorry. I, you

1:01:42

know.

1:01:42

Any other hot comedians like Ryan Seacrest?

1:01:46

He's going to be pretty busy with Wheel of Fortune. What

1:01:49

a wonderful choice to take over that show.

1:01:51

I didn't know that. We all agree. Yeah.

1:01:55

I didn't know that either, but now

1:01:57

I do. He is unattainable then if he's

1:01:59

doing Wheel of Fortune. That's a tough one unless I can become a contestant

1:02:02

every old woman is gonna be after him. That's so

1:02:04

true. Yeah, that's cliche Yeah,

1:02:06

let me take that back, but I would call you old.

1:02:08

Let me just I don't mean to go Yeah,

1:02:11

but you're very young spirit Well, I

1:02:13

do but you are physically very physically

1:02:15

quite old mid 80s But um, but

1:02:17

no I don't when we say mid, what do we talk it? Why

1:02:19

never give my age I never give

1:02:21

my age. Okay, but yeah, I would never Yeah,

1:02:26

can I ask you prefer old elderly?

1:02:28

Ancient oh really like you okay.

1:02:31

Yeah, that's a true. I haven't heard that and today I'm hearing

1:02:33

it It's well, it's it sort

1:02:36

of brings to mind some sort of knowledge

1:02:38

or intelligence or you know other wordliness

1:02:40

Yeah aged. Yeah

1:02:43

aged. Yeah.

1:02:44

Yeah. How old do you think you'll get

1:02:46

to? I've got

1:02:48

another 40 years in me for sure 40 you

1:02:50

think so. Absolutely. Absolutely. I was a

1:02:52

spry. I wash my feet in the sink every

1:02:55

night

1:02:57

Has that led to any accidents with your

1:02:59

husband's there was dangerous

1:03:02

Yeah, that was a simple I

1:03:05

was just a simple he walked up behind me and I fell

1:03:08

and Landed on his

1:03:10

trip on his trachea on his.

1:03:12

Oh, you did a trachea for the trachea situation

1:03:15

I mean, I actually three trachea situations. Yeah.

1:03:17

Oh my goodness. Yeah. Yeah. This

1:03:20

is this is terrible. Well Look,

1:03:22

I hope you get to 19. Thank you the

1:03:25

Paul Hardcastle number, of course Oh, I'll get

1:03:27

plenty past 19. It just sort of depends on

1:03:29

how much for that, you know Yeah, I mean have

1:03:32

you ever wanted to though have one

1:03:34

of your husband's be alive until

1:03:36

you die I always want them to

1:03:38

be alive. What are you implying Scott? I

1:03:40

I'm not saying that you're the person who killed them necessarily No,

1:03:43

it just

1:03:43

happens. It happened these things happen.

1:03:46

Everyone dies I didn't want to ask.

1:03:48

Yeah, if if but there's never been like

1:03:50

no one's Looked at have I ever

1:03:52

moved right only one of them and

1:03:55

that was

1:03:55

very justified Oh, which

1:03:57

which one did it was his? name

1:04:00

was Sven. So a

1:04:02

Swedish gentleman? I don't mean little in size.

1:04:04

He was actually

1:04:08

quite large, 6-7, but little in the middle. He had

1:04:11

lots

1:04:15

of back. He had plenty of back. And

1:04:18

I said sweet, but really he was disrespectful

1:04:21

in

1:04:21

here. What did he do

1:04:23

and how did you commit the act? He just treated

1:04:26

me like shit, Scott. You know,

1:04:28

when someone just treats you like shit. Like emotional

1:04:30

abuse? Yeah, I know. Yeah.

1:04:33

Layla knows. Why are you pointing at me? I'm

1:04:36

just saying I relate. Okay, but

1:04:38

you're doing exactly what Hannah did when she

1:04:41

talked about a penis. You're pointing right at me. I'm

1:04:43

moving my forehead in your direction

1:04:47

and that's okay. And you're giving

1:04:49

me the eye and you're like jerking your head

1:04:51

towards me. No, I'm not. So

1:04:55

how did you kill him? I just smothered

1:04:58

him with a wet pillow. A wet

1:05:00

pillow? Why wet? I guess

1:05:02

it's like the best of waterboarding. Well,

1:05:05

to be honest, I was watching a

1:05:07

show in bed and I was drinking some, you know, thick

1:05:10

buttermilk. It spilled all over the pillow. I thought this

1:05:12

is the time, if ever a time to smother

1:05:14

my husband, it's just pour this buttermilk

1:05:16

pillow right on his head. My grandmother used to drink

1:05:18

buttermilk. Yeah. Straight from the cart. Weird,

1:05:21

right? I mean, it's strange that none of us do

1:05:23

it anymore.

1:05:23

It may be atypical, but is it weird?

1:05:26

No, it's perfectly normal. Yeah.

1:05:30

I assumed it had been self-defense, just

1:05:32

because your willingness to talk about it. Well, it wasn't a way. I was

1:05:34

defending my honor. And you

1:05:37

also went to prison, I have to assume. Oh,

1:05:40

no. No one

1:05:41

ever expects someone like me. Oh,

1:05:43

so when the police came over

1:05:45

to your... Yeah, and we're past that point

1:05:47

where, isn't there a certain amount of time where you've got yours? The statute

1:05:50

of limitations. There is one on murder, but... I

1:05:53

thought there was. No? I made it to differ. Not

1:05:55

on murder. I believe murder is the one crime.

1:05:57

I think it's one month. Whoops. One month. That

1:06:00

would be a hard, hard prosecutorial

1:06:02

limitation. So yes,

1:06:04

it was self-defense. Clearly. It

1:06:07

was self-defense. Yeah. They

1:06:10

came over, they thought it was self-defense and they were just like... They knew

1:06:12

it was self-defense. They saw me, they liked me.

1:06:14

I baked them some museum muffins. Did you end up

1:06:16

marrying one of the policemen? I did. Yeah.

1:06:19

And what happened to him? What did

1:06:21

happen to him? I think he was,

1:06:24

um, oh, right. Yes. He, uh,

1:06:26

he was struck by an airborne fire hydrant.

1:06:29

Oh God. How

1:06:32

does a fire hydrant become? Become an airborne?

1:06:35

Become airborne. I become an unmoored and then

1:06:37

become airborne. Unmoored and airborne.

1:06:40

And that's the name of my memoir. Oh,

1:06:42

really? You have a memoir coming out. Oh, I wondered why you

1:06:44

were returning. Unmoored and airborne.

1:06:48

Wow. I love it. The murder McGee

1:06:50

story. The murder McGee. Did you call

1:06:52

yourself murder McGee? What? A little slip

1:06:54

of the lip. Okay. I'm

1:06:56

starting to believe that you murdered every single

1:06:58

one of your.

1:06:59

No, absolutely not. No, most of them

1:07:01

were very tragic accidents. Yeah. Okay.

1:07:06

Sorry, I don't mean to laugh. I know it's okay.

1:07:08

I mean, sometimes I thought you could do it. You never

1:07:10

be sorry about laughing. It's perfectly

1:07:12

acceptable. I just, I don't know

1:07:14

why anyone would get involved with you

1:07:16

if they knew all of them. I was thinking the same. Absolutely

1:07:19

incredible in bed. Yeah. You

1:07:21

would not believe it, Scott. Have

1:07:23

you been with women? May I ask? And have any of them

1:07:25

passed? None of them have passed.

1:07:27

I don't let women pass.

1:07:28

No. Yes. Are you angling for? I pleasure

1:07:30

them and I let them leave. I've never married anyone. You know she's

1:07:32

incredible in bed. I'm in comedy.

1:07:35

Yeah. Oh, wow. I'm not propositioning

1:07:38

anything. I just considered you the Mario Lopez

1:07:40

of female comedy. Oh,

1:07:41

no one said that to me before. Well, Anna, you could

1:07:44

come to our next body passing ceremony

1:07:47

or. Do you do that in LA? We do, yeah. A

1:07:49

basement in Riverside. Is everyone

1:07:51

here invited or? No. Well,

1:07:53

Leila, you were interested. We had talked about that earlier.

1:07:56

I'm there. I'm following you home. Excellent.

1:07:58

From

1:07:58

this. I am. That sounded like a. And you're

1:08:00

not invited. Good, good. Because I would

1:08:02

not come here. And you would not be welcome. If

1:08:06

I were invited and I would not

1:08:08

come and I would not be welcome. And you would. And I would be glad

1:08:11

about that. And you would never have had an invite nor

1:08:13

would you have been invited in the door. And

1:08:15

you showed up with, you know, even

1:08:17

if you had a big moist cake

1:08:20

to supply for people.

1:08:20

I would not make that cake. I in fact would eat

1:08:23

the cake. I would make it, but I would eat it before I did

1:08:25

not come to your party. Ooh, well. And I

1:08:27

would I would never have

1:08:29

invited you. OK, Myrtle

1:08:31

McGee is here. I do love being

1:08:34

here, Scott. I love having you. Please don't take

1:08:36

that extreme reaction to think that I don't enjoy

1:08:38

you. I certainly do. And I love being here.

1:08:39

Well, I the only reason

1:08:42

I wouldn't want to come to your party is I don't want to end up, I

1:08:44

mean, obviously, in a relationship.

1:08:46

I don't want to be in a relationship with you. I'm in a relationship

1:08:49

already, but you're so tantalizing. I

1:08:51

worry about what I would do if I were alone with

1:08:53

you. Absolutely. And you should. And

1:08:55

you should. And there would be so much collateral damage

1:08:58

with my wife. And then I would end up dead.

1:09:00

And it's just like it's a lose lose.

1:09:01

And then we'd be trying to figure out who murdered you.

1:09:03

Yeah. Like a right murder

1:09:06

mystery. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of which,

1:09:08

do you think I was the murderer in the after party

1:09:10

season? I cannot wait to find out. You

1:09:13

know, we've had a murder. We had a murderer from the Scream

1:09:15

movies on the show. Oh, we did. Yeah. Jack

1:09:17

Quaid. Oh, yeah. That's very

1:09:20

upsetting. Oh, Jack. I don't know Jack. Jack. Oh,

1:09:22

yeah. Are you not physically? No,

1:09:25

I don't know him physically. No, he's too young for

1:09:27

me. Oh, so there's an age for the man? Oh,

1:09:29

absolutely. Oh, OK. And Meg.

1:09:32

The two of them. Yeah, she was there. Was this a threesome

1:09:34

situation? Well, she was there monitoring

1:09:36

the situation, making sure everything stayed safe. She didn't

1:09:38

want to lose him. Tech monitor. Good. She wasn't pregnant. She

1:09:41

was not pregnant. No. Jack, we're sorry if

1:09:43

you're listening.

1:09:46

We

1:09:48

do, we are running out of time. I'm so sorry,

1:09:50

Myrtle, but we are running out of time.

1:09:52

There is just one final feature

1:09:55

on the show. And that is, of course, a little something

1:09:57

called Plo.

1:10:02

This is your time to shine

1:10:04

like a sweaty forehead or

1:10:06

a fresh warm dog. This

1:10:09

is your time to shine like

1:10:12

a damp booger when it hits

1:10:14

the light just right. This

1:10:17

is your time to shine

1:10:19

like the decals are while you

1:10:21

dissect it in grey. This

1:10:24

is your time to shine like the

1:10:26

blood of the ostrich that

1:10:29

you've settled to death. Yeah,

1:10:32

that was This is Your Time to Shine by Super

1:10:34

Pop Star Emily Milling. Thank you so

1:10:37

much to Super Pop Star Emily Milling.

1:10:39

If you have a plugs theme, send it on over to

1:10:41

CBBWorld.com slash

1:10:44

plugs. And what do we plug in, Anna? Obviously,

1:10:46

the after party.

1:10:47

The after party July 12th. Hannah's

1:10:51

episode, that's my character, comes out July 26th. July

1:10:54

12th is already heard weeks ago. Yeah,

1:10:57

well, July 26 hasn't. That's

1:11:00

the one that we're all waiting for. Boy,

1:11:02

July 26, approximately 24 days after my birthday. Apple

1:11:06

TV plus. Apple TV plus. Not

1:11:09

the device. If you can scrounge together 500, you know,

1:11:11

a thousand, maybe $3,000, you

1:11:15

can get Apple TV plus at your own house.

1:11:17

Absolutely. And that's where I'll

1:11:19

be. You can stream like a rich person

1:11:21

would like a real wealth.

1:11:24

Yeah. What's his name? Tim? Tim Cook. Right.

1:11:27

Have you did you meet Tim? Tim Cook? I don't

1:11:29

think so. Weird guy, right? Because Tim

1:11:31

Cook is the head of Apple. Oh, I've not met

1:11:34

Tim Cook. Wait, wait, wait on this. Because he's

1:11:36

a weird guy because

1:11:37

you think, okay, his name is Tim Cook. So

1:11:40

you think he'd

1:11:41

be in like the chef industry, like

1:11:43

in a restaurant tour or something.

1:11:44

I mean, that's very literal. And then he works

1:11:47

at Apple. So you think he's a guy who would like cook Apple

1:11:49

pies or something, but no, he makes TV shows and

1:11:51

computers like weird, right?

1:11:52

I mean, I feel like Myrtle

1:11:55

would be with Apple pies and we use

1:11:57

them in our sexual. Oh, no. You've been with.

1:11:59

Oh, I have. With Tim Cook himself? With Timmy

1:12:01

Boy? Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I just wanted to get you on the

1:12:03

record regarding Tim Cook, your boss. Yeah,

1:12:06

no, I think he's excellent. I love him. But

1:12:08

weird, right? We've met many times, excellent

1:12:11

person, doesn't cook apples. I just,

1:12:13

I don't wanna- That's what he does for me, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:12:15

He does for me. He cooks your apple, but

1:12:18

yeah. He roasts my apple.

1:12:20

Oh my

1:12:21

goodness. And Laila,

1:12:23

what do we wanna plug here? I am

1:12:25

on season two of the after

1:12:28

party. Congratulations! He comes

1:12:30

out July 12th and my episode

1:12:32

airs on the 26th. Sorry,

1:12:35

were you a set dresser? Is that what you mean? Like

1:12:37

in the interior design kind of- I play Hannah.

1:12:40

Oh my God. What? I play Hannah,

1:12:42

the actor. Oh

1:12:42

my God, is this Kevin Spacey situation

1:12:45

with that where he was replaced by Christopher Plummer

1:12:47

digitally? Oh. I

1:12:50

know you got very worried when I said, is this a Kevin

1:12:52

Spacey situation? No, no, no, just where

1:12:54

he was replaced. Have you been replaced in

1:12:57

the show?

1:12:57

I can't

1:12:59

say that I haven't. I haven't seen it

1:13:01

recently. I saw it like about six months ago. Oh

1:13:03

my God, I had a time period. You should check it out. Wait, is that

1:13:06

what's happening?

1:13:06

No. Oh. Oh, that's

1:13:08

right, you're a liar. We forgot. I'm a

1:13:11

liar. I have nothing going on and

1:13:13

I need you to put me back on the show. Okay,

1:13:15

you can be a returning guest. You're still on the show right

1:13:17

now. Save her while it's- I'm

1:13:20

blowing it. Still happening. We have about three more minutes.

1:13:22

Enjoy it while it's happening. I'm blowing it. And

1:13:24

Myrtle McGee, what do you wanna plug? Well, first

1:13:27

off, I just wanna say, I also have had

1:13:29

a Kevin Spacey situation. Oh, I'm

1:13:31

so sorry, I'm happy to worry about it. I loved it.

1:13:34

I loved it. You loved it. I believe

1:13:36

everything and it's awful.

1:13:37

However, he was an absolute

1:13:40

dream. Really? Was this on Christmas Eve when

1:13:42

he was making one of those videos? It was, yeah, I

1:13:44

was in the background. Yeah. You

1:13:46

were a background artist on one of his Christmas

1:13:48

videos. And then he did some art on my body. We did

1:13:50

some body art together. Oh my goodness. Yeah. As

1:13:53

far as plugging, it's just the body passing event

1:13:57

for once a month.

1:13:58

Just once a month and you have to... guess when. And I'll be

1:14:00

there also if that's still okay. She'll be

1:14:02

here. Yeah. It'll be very exciting. We'll have a special

1:14:05

guest that night. Um but yeah, you do have to guess when and

1:14:07

where. And if you can guess it.

1:14:08

Boy, are you lucky. It's gonna be like everything

1:14:11

in life. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, this person's on tour.

1:14:13

If you can guess when and where. You get friends.

1:14:15

Probably

1:14:15

no one else will be there. And there aren't a lot of basements

1:14:17

in LA. Also, just wanna point out. And I did

1:14:20

say Riverside. Oh, that's right.

1:14:22

Yeah. I mean, look at the bottom of houses.

1:14:24

Yeah. I know Riverside quite well. Spend

1:14:26

a a lovely uh couple of weeks there.

1:14:29

What was lovely about it? Uh well, I'll

1:14:31

tell you off air but it was

1:14:33

interesting. I wanna plug uh the CBB

1:14:35

book, the Comedy Bang Bang book.

1:14:37

Uh it is out in stores. Obviously,

1:14:39

number four on the New York Times Bestseller list.

1:14:42

Woo. Incredible. Uh thank you

1:14:44

so much to everyone who's buying it. We're uh

1:14:46

hopefully uh people have been asking me about the signed

1:14:48

copies. We are hoping that we're going to

1:14:51

uh in the fourth or fifth printing,

1:14:53

we're going to do some more of those.

1:14:55

So, keep an eye out for those and

1:14:58

uh you can uh get any links to buy

1:15:00

the book at CBB World.com slash book but uh

1:15:02

while you're over there at CBB World uh

1:15:04

listen to one of our shows. We have great shows

1:15:07

like Hey Randy and Heinz

1:15:09

I'm proud to meet you and uh

1:15:11

this book changed my life and uh Who

1:15:13

Me with the Batman and uh so

1:15:15

many great shows over there as well as ad-free episodes and

1:15:17

all of the previous 15 years of this.

1:15:20

Just listen to maybe one or two years

1:15:22

back. Uh you don't wanna listen to the early episodes.

1:15:25

Um but uh head over there to CBB

1:15:27

World.com where all of that is there.

1:15:29

Alright, let's close up the old plug bag.

1:16:04

All right, that was Rock Me Like a Plug Bag by

1:16:06

Tim.

1:16:08

Thanks Tim. Wonderful. And

1:16:10

guys, I want to thank you so much. Anna, it's so great to have you as a returning

1:16:13

guest.

1:16:13

Great to be here. Thank you. Continue

1:16:16

success. Thank you. And I look forward to your

1:16:18

next projects. Thank you. And I look forward to this project because

1:16:20

I haven't seen it yet. Got great. Big

1:16:22

fan. And Layla, boy, what

1:16:24

can one say?

1:16:26

Something nice, I hope. You

1:16:29

were, I mean, look,

1:16:31

I like, I enjoyed you and

1:16:34

you were fun and

1:16:37

come back anytime. For dinner tonight? No,

1:16:40

I believe I have plans, but generally

1:16:43

we can open up the lines of communication

1:16:45

and figure, we'll hammer out some details.

1:16:47

Great. Yeah, just add one to the reservation.

1:16:49

I'll see you tonight. Oh Jesus. Okay.

1:16:53

And Myrtle McGee. Delighted. Delighted, as always.

1:16:57

I gotta say, you're looking so good right now. Thank

1:16:59

you so much. I'm feeling really good. This

1:17:01

is, I'm feeling hot and young and it's summer. It's

1:17:03

hot girl summer. It is hot girl summer. Yeah.

1:17:06

What did I also hear about the summer? It's like a tomato

1:17:08

summer or something. I don't know. I

1:17:11

love tomatoes. I read this recently

1:17:13

where it's like influencers are trying to get women

1:17:15

to eat tomatoes this summer. What's

1:17:18

that all about? I don't know. One of my daughters

1:17:20

loves tomatoes though. Really? Yeah. She's

1:17:23

the only one I keep up with. It

1:17:25

could be because she's healthy, you know?

1:17:28

Yeah.

1:17:28

She keeps herself. How old

1:17:30

is your daughter? That one? Yeah.

1:17:33

Yeah. Who can tell you at this point, right? Sixteen.

1:17:36

Sixteen? Wow.

1:17:38

That's, yeah. Amazing. You've had a

1:17:40

real age. Yeah. I have had a lot

1:17:42

of children spending 40 years. Forty

1:17:45

years. Yeah. I started when

1:17:47

I was 16 and I finished when I was 56.

1:17:49

But

1:17:51

wait, you're mid 80s right now. Right. So

1:17:54

she's not 16. The math is never. Yeah.

1:17:57

I did say 30s. If she's one of the later ones. But

1:18:00

she's so young, she eats so many tomatoes. Her skin

1:18:02

is really tight. Wonderful.

1:18:06

All right, well, we'll see you next time, Bix. Bye.

1:18:08

Buh duh duh duh. Buh duh duh duh. Buh duh

1:18:10

duh duh. Buh duh duh duh. Here goes. Buh

1:18:15

duh duh.