Light-hearted humor Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 28, December, 1921
by W. H. Fawcett.

hello everybody welcome to royal clarence now i thought today i should probably pop up some comedy but you know it's really hard finding comedy from the archives you know i'm using the archives as my source material for the comedy channel it's archive comedy i'm looking for and the reason for that is i i'm kind of drawn to it a purer sort of time and a time of innocence and i wanted to contrast with the very hardcore sort of um gunho uh over sexualized over violent over nasty comedy that seems to be everywhere at today in today's um sort of media you know the it seems to be you have to be nasty to somebody to be comic so i was looking at things that were less nasty but of course it turns out that they were quite nasty even in victorian times and they were you know they were more sexist more racist etc all these things and but i'm hoping you'll have a bit of fun with this this is um captain billy's whiz-bang i just thought it was such a great title volume three number 28 december 1921. now look they're going to repeat all that when they um read it my cat is here um cleaning itself if you can hear something weird um so anyway uh i think you'll enjoy it give it some time i think sometimes a bit dry isn't it it's interesting when you read a loud a comedy magazine without pictures some of it's a bit dry it's a little bit lost but give it some time and look if you are struggling to get to sleep you can at least use it for your insomnia i think that's probably quite a good call actually so i'll just play it through and um yeah see what you think and i'll be uploading quite a lot of comedy today i think friday should be comedy day we're getting close to the end of the week hopefully for most of us anyway so do enjoy this and let me know what you think in the comments why not section 1 of captain billy's whiz bang volume 3 number 28 december 1921. this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org recording by larry wilson captain billy swiss bank volume 3 number 28 december 1921 by w.h fawcett one million five hundred thousand readers subject great northern railway company m j wolf saint paul minnesota september 29 1922 editor whiz bang robbinsdale minnesota dear sir on september 27th our train number 12 was held at robbinsdale 37 minutes loading what is stated to have been 36 000 pounds of mail in order that provision be made to handle such large quantities of mail without causing unreasonable delay to trains would you kindly furnish the following information first frequency of publication of the magazine second days or dates when regularly due to be placed in the mail third approximate weight or number of copies of each issue with this information we will consider the making of some special arrangement for bringing to the cities it might be advantageous to set a baggage car out at robinsdale the day before the magazine do to be forwarded yours truly mj wolff the letter tells the story if our winter annuals had been loaded at one time captain billy would have filled an entire mail train hereafter gentle reader your news dealer will have the whiz-bang on the 15th of the month and because of our enormous orders we will in future mail a few truckloads every day throughout the full month all magazines to be held at various post offices until the 15th for delivery in conclusion i thank you for your indulgence at delays in getting your whiz bang and your winter annual the old whiz bang farm has been a busy spot these past few months yours for fun captain billy we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is loyalty to the american people theodore roosevelt captain billy's whiz bang employs no solicitors subscriptions may be received only at authorized newsstands or by direct mail to robbinsdale we join in no clubbing offers nor do we give premiums 250 a year in advance edited by a spanish and world war veteran and dedicated to the fighting forces of the united states the end of section one

section two of captain billy's with bang volume 3 number 28 december 1921. this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libbyvox.org recording by alan lawley captain billy's with bang volume 3 number 28 december 1921 by w.h fawcett drippings from the four set part one it is a long jump from the one horse town like robbinsdale to the land of deciduous fruits forbidden fruits fruitless fruits movie stars reformers abalone cufflinks outdoor plumbing and or night burglar service meaning california of course i am at this writing occupying a room in that well-known san francisco hostelry which fatty art buckle tried to convert into a nice house the only kick i have against the san francis is that the rune park assigned me to twin beds being of a bullshevity theosophical frame of mind and also very lonesome i moved the other twin alongside my twin and slept soundly ever after load around for two weeks at the alexandria in los angeles and before that at a hotel at colorado that fairly oozed hospitality although older than the handles on solomon's wheelbarrow there is an ancient quip about the three divisions of liars plain liars d liars and native sons also there used to be one that went something like this the miners came in 49 and the jane's in 51 etc etc but they are both all wrong despite what god's brother said about robbinsdale not being a one-horse town after he had spent a week wearing the white wing vestments i am willing to admit that los angeles and san francisco have opened the eyes of an inquisitive farmer from the aforesaid robinsdale they seem to have everything here including the whispering and in this connection permit an old farmer the privilege of remarking that the leading california news distributors egbert brothers tell me the little old banger leads all 25 cent magazines in california in the matter of circulation sir robinsdale is on the map in california even if we don't color hank coops renaissance architecture and our dog houses colonial garages we landed in los angeles just in time to pluck down in the center of a quarrel between expert fanatics and the motion picture people a flock of moonbeam chasing near aesthetic preachers insists that evil was not brought into the world by the serpent in eden but was created by thomas edison who invented the motion picture machine the latest synthetic scheme of the reformers calls for los angeles censorship for every picture manufactured and exhibited in the city if the long hairs get away with it and we don't think they will it would be a huge moral victory los angeles youth will then be limited to such amusement as may be gleaned from shooting craps joyriding dancing at roadhouses poker and looking for one's umbrella this umbrella story has spinach on it but in small towns like robbinsdale it is still good has to do with the churchgoer who arose hurriedly and left the church as the pastor was in the midst of reading the ten commandments he explained to the pastor afterward that it had just been recalled to his memory where he had left his umbrella however we didn't travel all the way out to california to find our umbrella or to lose one and it is nobody's business except our old minneapolis friend dick ferris if we did dick is living at the alex in los angeles and is one of southern california's most popular and esteemed citizens dick has begun bubbling his hair since his early days in minneapolis but says that if hare was brains an old-fashioned parlor sofa would be vice president dick is one of the best entertainers in the southland one can step inside the ferris harem almost any time of day or night and meet anybody from diggers of the ditches to the dignitaries of the duckets roscoe soles famous racing driver bill pickings bonnie o'field's health manager julian elting the actor harry grayson sports editor of the express scotty chisholm golf editor and star king young publicity director for catherine mcdonald's pictures hambio another publicity director extraordinary bob henderson wealthy oil operator and owner of the most beautiful home i have ever spilled ashes in these are only a few of the legion of good fellows with whom i had the pleasure of swapping stories at the ferris chateau and speaking of stories i attended a motion picture press agents banquet and heard a good one on the reformers according to the story reverend wilbur f crafts was addressing an audience of the holy pooly and he started off bombastically like this you cigar suckers you cigarette suckers you piped suckers at this juncture a tenner voice in the rear of the horse sung out hey doc you ain't going to forget i saw you evidently a willy boy with an all day sucker in his hand getting back to dick ferris the former minneapolis theatre magnet is head of a big taxi concern and on the side as a promoting fool rummaging around in one of dick's dresser drawers i ran across a box containing a pair of white silk pajamas inside was a card which in feminine scroll informed dick that they were to be worn when alone and feeling blue dick hasn't been able to wea

A snapshot of history indeed.
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