0:00

Hey there. Welcome to the

0:02

coming home to joy business podcast.

0:05

I'm your host, Tina Joy Cochran,

0:09

and I am so happy that you are here.

0:12

There is no need to stop your busy life

0:14

right now. Let's just hang

0:17

out together as we discover more

0:20

joy in business. Just drop

0:22

me into your pocket and keep on going.

0:25

Can't wait to share this episode with you. You know,

0:27

doing interviews for this

0:29

podcast has been so

0:31

much fun for me. It brings me so much

0:34

joy, particularly because I get to reconnect

0:36

with folks that maybe

0:38

I haven't talked to in a while. And

0:41

this episode of coming home to joy

0:43

is just that. Valerie Suydam

0:46

and I met probably

0:49

what 2019 or so, 2019,

0:52

2020 during COVID.

0:53

Yeah, it was 2020.

0:55

And we worked together as she went through some

0:57

seasons to publish her first book.

1:00

And we haven't had a chance to catch up. And

1:03

this is our opportunity, we want to share

1:05

with you her story

1:08

of, seasons of

1:11

being in a place with the Lord that is incredibly

1:13

private that you never know what's

1:15

going to happen next. So Valerie,

1:18

welcome your blog

1:20

is encounters with the Lord. Right?

1:23

Correct. Correct. That's

1:25

my blog. Tell me about that.

1:28

Where does that

1:30

phrase come from? How does the story

1:32

begin?

1:33

Well, first of all, I want to say thank you,

1:35

Tina, for having me on. It's

1:37

a privilege. And I want to say congratulations

1:39

to you for your podcast. I

1:41

have listened to all the episodes

1:44

and they're wonderful.

1:46

Oh, thank you. I am enjoying

1:48

not being on camera.

1:51

Ditto. So encounters with

1:53

the Lord, that name

1:55

came from exactly

1:58

what it says. Having encounters

2:00

with the Lord. And what I mean by that

2:02

is I was going through a very,

2:05

very difficult time

2:07

in my life. I was taking care

2:09

of my late husband. This was a

2:12

5 year journey. I was

2:14

his only caretaker and he had a disease

2:17

that was debilitating. So it was

2:19

slow, but fast at the same time.

2:21

And it, it wound up taking all of

2:23

his human capacities.

2:26

And so I took care of him and

2:30

it was the

2:32

most. difficult thing

2:34

I've ever had to do in my life. And

2:37

I relied on the Lord to get me

2:39

through it. And he knows

2:41

me well, he knows his daughter and

2:44

he knew that the only way I was

2:46

going to make it through myself

2:49

was to have daily

2:51

encounters with him. And

2:54

I don't just mean reading

2:56

the Bible. That's how it started. But

2:58

he would actually. in my

3:01

mind's eye, he would meet me there.

3:04

And we would have what would

3:06

be a intimate

3:08

encounter between

3:10

the Lord and his child.

3:13

And he was able to bring me

3:15

through probably

3:17

the darkest time of my life.

3:20

He meets us where we are, right?

3:23

Every time.

3:26

And he is absolutely closest

3:29

to those who are broken hearted.

3:32

If we call out to him, he

3:34

wants to be right there with us. He

3:36

wants to be that everything

3:38

to us, if we will allow him.

3:41

I love that. So four

3:44

years, this one, this was going

3:46

on, you

3:47

said, right? Yeah, it was actually five years. And

3:49

the last three were the most difficult.

3:52

Right. And then? Yes. So

3:55

while While I was taking care

3:57

of my late husband I was keeping a

3:59

journal and I was

4:02

documenting all of these encounters

4:04

that I was having with the Lord. These very

4:07

private, very intimate

4:10

encounters. Yes. Yes.

4:13

And one day I heard

4:15

him say, I want you to

4:17

publish a book. And

4:20

I laughed because I thought, well,

4:23

what? Am I going to write

4:25

about? And he said, oh, I

4:27

want you to publish your journal.

4:30

And I said, what?

4:37

And he said, yeah, I want

4:39

you to publish your journal. And I said, well,

4:41

gosh, Lord, that's awfully private. Don't

4:43

you think? but he

4:45

was very clear. He said, what

4:48

I want is for other

4:50

people. to be able to know

4:53

that they can have a relationship with me

4:55

like you and I do. And he

4:57

said, it's rare that someone comes

5:00

to me and wants to interact

5:02

with me like you do. And I want

5:04

you to show other people that it's possible.

5:07

Oh, I love that. And you know

5:10

I wrote Coming Home to Joy it started

5:12

with maybe

5:14

if I pray for my clients, I'll get more business,

5:16

but that's another story for another podcast.

5:19

But when it became clear that

5:21

the assignment was to write my

5:23

life story in a book

5:26

the question on my mind was why would anybody

5:29

want to do that? And

5:32

what was so interesting is I also

5:34

in conversation with the Lord what I felt

5:37

at Lead was this isn't

5:39

about you, it's about us and

5:41

it's a love story about how I never leave.

5:43

And that makes it so different

5:46

when you realize it's

5:48

not me that I'm sharing, it's

5:50

him. that I'm sharing. And

5:53

that's where you and I came together. You had joined

5:55

in one of our marketing challenges

5:57

and we had quite a few conversations

6:00

about your, I don't even want to say love hate

6:02

relationship because there's no love in

6:04

it with Facebook. Now

6:08

I've got to go public and I don't want to go

6:11

public.

6:13

Yes. So that is where we

6:15

met each other and so

6:18

a friend of mine got

6:20

one of your emails. You had done an email

6:22

blast and She received

6:24

the email and it was about

6:27

marketing. And so

6:29

she forwarded it to me and said, maybe this

6:31

is something you'd be interested in since

6:34

the Lord's asked you to do a book. And

6:37

I thought for the longest time, I thought,

6:39

you know, I'd rather poke myself in the eye

6:42

than attend that. But

6:46

I did, as you know, Tina,

6:48

right, right. Kicking and screaming because

6:50

it was on Facebook that we were doing

6:52

it. We were doing some of the work on Facebook.

6:55

Yes, because I am not a social

6:58

media person. Never wanted

7:00

to be, but I realized

7:02

if I was going to go down this path, I was

7:04

going to have to somehow introduce

7:06

myself to social media.

7:09

So I thought I'd start with Facebook. And.

7:12

I knew absolutely nothing, nothing.

7:15

And so, yes, and I

7:17

went, I loved it. I'm

7:20

glad I did it wound

7:22

up you know, becoming

7:25

a member of your organization

7:27

to receive your coaching, which was.

7:30

priceless. Yes,

7:32

I had to learn all

7:34

about social media and Facebook,

7:36

and that was difficult for me because

7:38

I've always been a highly private

7:41

person. So one to ask

7:43

me toe to publish my journal.

7:46

And then to get on social media,

7:48

it was quite the challenge for me.

7:50

What's really interesting is Lord, I don't

7:53

know what to write my book about

7:55

and yet your book was already done. I

7:57

mean, when we connected you with my

8:00

publisher Darren Shearer of Highbridge

8:02

books. You pretty much had

8:04

your manuscript put together because

8:06

you'd been writing it for, for years

8:09

through this process,

8:10

right? Yes. What I did have to do,

8:12

so you're right, the manuscript

8:15

per se was handwritten in

8:17

my journal. So I did have to go

8:19

and type them and, you know, put

8:21

them in a format for a book

8:23

to send to. High Bridge, which there again,

8:26

I would not have known what to do on

8:28

that end of things either, had it

8:30

not been for you, Tina. So Why

8:34

we do what we do. You were instrumental

8:36

in everything.

8:37

I didn't even beat you when you went kicking and

8:39

screaming and said you didn't want to do it. You did not.

8:41

You did not. We just gently said, what'd

8:43

the Lord tell you to do?

8:47

Well, and I will say to your

8:49

listeners that if you partner

8:52

with Tina in any way, you will find that she

8:54

prophesies over you very well

8:56

and very lovingly, which is

8:59

so helpful, so beneficial,

9:01

no matter what you're trying to accomplish in your

9:03

life.

9:04

You don't put your faith and your business

9:07

in two separate silos. It's

9:09

kind of hard to, I mean,

9:11

you can, but why

9:13

would you right? But

9:15

when you can partner and pull it all together,

9:17

and we talk a lot about this in

9:20

the golden heartland community in

9:22

this full integration between

9:24

life and business and

9:26

faith, which kind of leads

9:28

us to the book comes out and

9:31

you're really excited about that.

9:33

Yeah. But it's

9:35

time for a new season.

9:37

Oh my gosh. Yes.

9:40

Even though I was writing it for

9:42

people who are kind of in their darkest

9:45

time, really struggling. Really,

9:47

I have come to find out that the target audience

9:50

is for those who desire a close,

9:52

intimate relationship with the Lord, if

9:54

you want to kind of take your relationship

9:56

to the next step, these stories

9:59

really help. It's, you can see

10:01

your savior in a different light. And

10:04

he was speaking into me.

10:07

Constantly reassuring

10:09

me that he's not finished with me. He

10:12

has a plan and a purpose. And

10:16

he was saying it in beautiful,

10:18

colorful ways that

10:20

are represented in the stories so

10:22

after my husband passed away,

10:25

the Lord started talking to me. Cool. In

10:28

a very, oh,

10:31

precise, detailed

10:33

way. He started giving

10:35

me, basically, he started

10:38

giving me prophecies

10:40

of what to expect in my

10:42

own life, which there

10:44

again, that was a season that really started to

10:46

freak me out because that was new for me.

10:49

And so that was

10:51

a season of growing further

10:53

in my faith. Hearing

10:55

him. believing

10:58

for these really

11:03

out of the ballpark promises

11:07

that I'm thinking, oh

11:09

man, I really,

11:11

really have to stretch my faith

11:14

to start saying, yes, Lord. Okay.

11:17

I am trusting you for that. But it did

11:19

come to pass. And interesting enough,

11:22

part of those promises was my

11:25

current husband. And

11:29

so, the book

11:32

got published in March

11:34

of 22. And

11:37

I was remarried by

11:40

July of 22. And

11:42

so, you know, at times I feel

11:45

like. Lord,

11:47

did I fail you? Because I didn't

11:50

really get to market

11:52

or publicize the book

11:55

because when Rob came into

11:57

my life my life.

12:00

Switched. It went from filled

12:02

with death and hopelessness

12:05

to filled with life and

12:07

joy and hope and

12:09

promises and it has

12:11

just been a whirlwind

12:14

of wonderful things,

12:16

but not what I thought I was going

12:18

to be focusing on.

12:20

It's interesting that you say that, Valerie.

12:22

I want to poke on something a second, because

12:25

when you told the story of

12:27

what the Lord told you, what you said

12:30

was the Lord told you to publish

12:32

a book. That's a good point. Yep.

12:34

And, as you were talking about this,

12:37

you were, I didn't get to publicize

12:39

it. That's not what

12:41

you were asked to do. And I think it's

12:43

interesting that. You

12:46

know, one of the things I've seen in my life and in my journey,

12:48

particularly in the business stuff, is

12:50

you get a glimpse. of what your

12:52

assignment is, that clarity of, of

12:55

the being joy led, and you go, I'll let

12:57

you know how that works out. And you run off onto

13:00

doing it, not from a place of

13:02

ego, but from a place of love

13:04

and obedience. I just want to do it right

13:07

by you, Lord. I just want to do it right by you, Lord.

13:09

And I don't want to let you down. And,

13:12

and it's interesting when you look

13:14

at it, he

13:17

didn't ask you to publicize it. He just

13:19

asked you to put it out there and sometimes

13:22

putting the book out there and putting the content

13:25

out there, your job is

13:27

to get it out there so that he

13:29

can then use it. I remember, Oh,

13:33

probably close to 15

13:35

years ago now, 30 days to joy

13:38

came out as an email series.

13:41

was one of the things, very first things I ever published

13:43

as content and the Lord saying,

13:45

Oh, you're going to write prayers. I'm like, write prayers.

13:47

No, no, don't write prayers.

13:50

We don't even pray in

13:52

front of people. Right. So I,

13:54

I totally map with this. What

13:57

you're Thinking of isn't have you met me?

13:59

This is not right. And when

14:02

it first came out, I

14:04

got an email from a woman asking

14:07

in Brazil, asking if I would translate

14:09

it into Portuguese. And I was like, what

14:11

happened there? Right. And

14:14

then had a woman call me and go, we're doing

14:16

a Bible study on joy. And I think

14:18

you're supposed to be my coach. It's like,

14:20

wait, wait. And she's, you know, you

14:22

just don't know. And

14:25

he's not necessary. We're not necessarily responsible

14:27

for all of that. We're responsible

14:29

for the part he assigns us to do.

14:31

Yes. And one of the I'm sure

14:34

it's one of the stories in my book. But

14:36

you know, God has us in what I call a

14:38

waiting room. And because

14:40

he has a whole timeline that he's unfolding

14:43

and he's doing. More than we

14:46

can even imagine within that timeline,

14:48

not just with us, but with everybody else.

14:51

And so when you're

14:53

sitting in the waiting room, and it appears like nothing

14:55

is happening or it seems like you have

14:57

failed at something or not been

14:59

successful at something. You

15:01

don't know that that is true because

15:05

God's story has

15:07

not totally unfolded. So

15:09

you're still in this middle section

15:12

where he's working and you're waiting.

15:15

And so for

15:17

me with the book, just like

15:19

what, what you said, I

15:22

have to say to myself

15:24

that I was successful because

15:27

I was obedient to what the Lord asked me

15:29

to do, and I completed it and

15:31

I finished it. And

15:33

it's not like I put it on the shelf. I

15:35

know it's there and I will come back

15:38

to it,

15:38

so tell us more about this current

15:41

season in our conversation

15:43

before we started recording this, you

15:46

mentioned the phrase I feel like I'm

15:48

riding down the rapids. We've

15:51

gone from hopeless, dark

15:53

waiting room to

15:55

riding rapids. So tell me more.

15:58

Yes. Yes. My husband and I,

16:01

we work with people.

16:03

I don't know the best way to call

16:05

it. It's not counseling. It is working with

16:07

people. They're working

16:10

with their story, their inner child and

16:12

healing so that they can have

16:14

the walk with the Lord that they want so

16:16

that they can walk in the victory that Christ

16:19

has given them because a lot of times we get in our

16:21

own way, or there's things

16:23

in our past that are

16:25

holding us back our own brokenness, our

16:27

own wounds that won't

16:30

allow us to operate in our full

16:32

potential that the Lord has for us. So we

16:34

work with people in that area

16:36

right now we're doing a, a small group

16:38

For married couples,

16:39

this is an in person group in

16:42

Kansas City is where you're working now.

16:44

Yes. It is a small group at

16:47

our church at Graceway here

16:49

in Kansas City and it's

16:52

not a normal marriage course. What

16:54

the Lord has asked Rod and I to do is

16:57

to basically again,

16:59

I'm laughing now. It's the first time I've

17:02

come to realize this. Now the

17:04

Lord's asking us to, or

17:06

me, both of us, but me

17:09

to publicize

17:12

again, what's going on in my life.

17:16

Yeah, I just

17:18

realized that you realize this podcast

17:20

stays out there and has been

17:22

heard on five continents, right? So we're

17:24

going public with your story, Valerie.

17:26

Oh my, but so

17:29

So what we feel the Lord has led us to

17:31

do is to

17:34

share with other married couples what

17:36

the Lord has already brought Rod

17:38

and I through before we were married.

17:41

And now after we've been married in

17:43

the whole spiritual, emotional,

17:45

mental healing process

17:48

and just telling people how

17:50

our brokenness, our

17:53

wounds plays out in

17:55

a marriage to make it so difficult.

17:57

And how the enemy,

17:59

how the spiritual warfare

18:01

plays against our marriages

18:04

to make it difficult. And

18:06

so it's exposing what's

18:08

actually happening in a marriage

18:11

when so often we think our spouse

18:13

is the enemy and that's just not the truth.

18:16

Wow. Wow. As you're talking,

18:18

I'm just like, Wow,

18:22

so much, so much. this is

18:24

the next book,

18:24

right? Well, and see,

18:28

as Rod and I were putting the curriculum together

18:31

we kind of have an idea board

18:33

and we kind of look at each other and we're like,

18:35

Oh my gosh, this could be your next

18:38

book because the Lord told

18:40

me. Oh gosh, probably two

18:43

years ago, shortly after I published Encounters

18:46

with the Lord, he said there will be

18:48

a second book and he gave me the title which

18:50

I won't say right now, but I've

18:52

always had it in my mind and

18:55

I thought, Oh, you know,

18:58

I just couldn't get the

19:00

desire, the momentum

19:03

to write. And several people were asking

19:06

me, so have you started on your second book?

19:08

I'm like, no. but

19:10

now, yes,

19:13

we are both thinking that this content,

19:16

what the Lord has shown Rod and I

19:19

will probably be the next book.

19:22

You have to promise to come back when it comes

19:24

out and we need to share that one.

19:26

I will. I'm sure I'll be in contact with

19:29

you anyway.

19:29

Absolutely. I've got some ideas

19:32

coming up on that. But like

19:34

you, I will respect that we are not releasing

19:37

that stuff just yet. And

19:39

it's so interesting in

19:42

our community, it's

19:44

not just about how do

19:46

I become a business owner? How do I

19:48

move forward? The people that are

19:50

in our community and our listeners are

19:52

more focused on, I have a lifestyle

19:55

that I want to live and I need

19:57

money to fund that. So

19:59

therefore I use business as a vehicle

20:02

and Marriage

20:04

is a big part of

20:06

this when you are married. True.

20:10

So a part two, stay tuned.

20:13

We will continue to see what happens

20:16

there. And when the next one comes out, we definitely

20:18

want to share that. So what

20:20

would you tell, I want to make sure we

20:22

get this. What would you tell someone

20:25

you mentioned being in the waiting room

20:27

and in the dark and being hopeless

20:30

having spent some time there and

20:34

now White

20:36

water rafting in joy. I

20:38

think that's what we're going to call it. Yes.

20:41

Right. And being

20:43

in this entirely different place

20:46

what would you tell somebody who is in

20:49

the dark place? What

20:51

would you tell them?

20:53

The first thing that comes to my mind is you

20:56

just have to know that there is hope because

20:59

there's I sat many, many

21:01

days feeling totally

21:03

hopeless. And the Lord

21:06

tells us that we

21:08

have hope in him. He is hope.

21:11

And you know, we don't know what

21:13

that looks like. It's something that's

21:15

not tangible. It's just strictly

21:18

faith and know that

21:21

our Lord wants to be right

21:23

there with you. And if you

21:25

can have the courage. to

21:28

get alone and

21:31

call out to him, cry out to him

21:33

and ask him to manifest

21:36

himself, make himself

21:39

obvious to you. Every

21:41

day waking up and asking

21:44

to see the hidden treasures

21:47

that he will place along the path

21:49

for you. Another story in

21:51

my book is where

21:53

I was conveying that. My

21:56

life felt like it was

21:59

in, in shambles in ashes.

22:02

But as I scoured the ashes,

22:04

I saw something glimmering. And so

22:06

I was looking and it was a hidden treasure

22:08

that the Lord had placed there for me. And

22:11

so I would just challenge people

22:13

to look for those look

22:16

for the hidden treasures and ask

22:18

the lord. Where are you

22:20

in this? Show me where you are

22:23

And then

22:25

you have to believe

22:26

I love that

22:30

You know as I read through your book

22:33

it's not showing

22:35

up in a place of God, you

22:37

are amazing. I'm so grateful. Sometimes

22:39

it's just showing up going, I got nothing.

22:42

Right. And I remember years

22:44

ago someone was saying that

22:46

they had a death in the family

22:49

or some trauma that had happened.

22:51

And they were, I am so

22:53

angry at God

22:56

that I don't believe anymore. And my response

22:58

to them was Of course you're angry, you

23:00

can be mad at God, don't you think he doesn't already

23:02

know that? And they were, Oh, no

23:05

one has ever said it was okay

23:07

for me to be mad at God. And what I've

23:10

learned in the years of walking with

23:12

the Lord in this is it's

23:14

okay to show up. Yes.

23:17

angry. It's because it's not like you're going to

23:19

surprise him. We can't let him down

23:21

and we can't surprise him because he already knows everything.

23:24

Right. So he wants us

23:26

with our true

23:27

feelings.

23:28

Yeah, there it is. There it is. He just

23:30

wants us to show up. And

23:33

that's the part that I

23:35

think is such a blessing that

23:38

maybe we miss in our Want to

23:41

be busy in our, want to just make

23:43

circumstances be different. Yeah. Sometimes

23:46

they can't be different. Right. But

23:48

our experience of those circumstances can

23:50

be different through him.

23:53

And I think your story is such a beautiful

23:55

example because as you read through your book,

23:58

there is such a loving, gentle,

24:01

caring intimacy

24:04

with daughter. I know.

24:06

Yes. Right. I know.

24:09

What, what

24:11

you're feeling and it's

24:13

not just hang in there and it'll

24:15

be okay and it'll all be better.

24:18

There was no, it's going to change

24:20

and you don't, it was, we're just going to

24:22

walk through this together.

24:25

Yes. And it's not about avoiding the pain.

24:27

It's about walking with him in a, in

24:29

a closer way.

24:30

Yes. I wrote down, it

24:33

helps make sense

24:35

of suffering and anguish. I

24:37

think that's what the book does. Say

24:40

that again. Yeah. Encounters

24:42

with the Lord. The stories will help

24:44

you make sense of suffering

24:46

and anguish because

24:48

you're exactly right. In

24:51

fact, the Lord promises we're going to

24:53

have trials and tribulations in this world.

24:55

So we know it's going to happen. So

24:58

instead of sitting there being

25:00

mad and trying to change it, it's

25:02

okay to be mad. I'm not saying that, but

25:05

instead call

25:07

out to the Lord and ask him to walk

25:09

with you through it so

25:12

you can get to the other side of

25:15

what I call redemptive love. You

25:18

know, he will Love

25:21

you through it and he'll get you on the

25:23

other side. It is a season back

25:25

to season There's a season

25:27

in your life and he

25:29

will get you through all of the seasons

25:31

I'd love that say that phrase one

25:34

more time and we're gonna mic drop and we're gonna end

25:36

there So encounters

25:39

with the Lord does what it

25:41

will help make sense of

25:43

suffering and anguish

25:47

Mic drop.

25:48

Thank you,

25:49

Valerie, for being

25:51

willing to say yes

25:54

to Encounters with the Lord, and

25:56

I will drop a link to your

25:59

site and your blog. There

26:01

is so much richness

26:03

there, that regardless

26:06

of whether you're blind or not, posting

26:08

on social media every day or

26:10

you are just working on

26:12

the next thing as you ride the

26:14

rapids, I think the

26:16

world is a better place

26:18

for you being

26:19

there. So thank you. Thank

26:22

you so much, Tina. You've

26:25

been listening to the Coming Home to Joy business

26:27

podcast. For more joy

26:30

and business, check out

26:32

our website at goldenheartland. com.

26:36

You might find something perfect

26:38

just for you. This is

26:40

Tina Joy Cochran. Your

26:43

host, coach, and the founder

26:45

of the Golden Heartland business community

26:47

for women. Thanks for being

26:49

here. And don't forget to subscribe

26:53

and share this with your friends. Remember,

26:56

everything you're dreaming of is

26:58

just on the other side of change. Being

27:01

joy led in your business will

27:03

get you there. We'll see you next time.