Episode Transcript
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Okay. Let's get started. Hi,
1:32
Violet. Meet Conan and Santa. Yeah.
1:34
And Matt. Oh my gosh. It's pleasure
1:36
to meet you guys. It feels like a fever
1:38
dream. Well,
1:39
it may be a fever dream. I
1:42
hope you're alright. Violet, very
1:44
nice to meet you. Where are you right now, Violet?
1:47
I am in my living room
1:49
in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
1:51
You're in Kalamazoo. There's an old
1:53
song from the forties. I got a
1:55
gal from Kalamazoo zoo
1:57
zoo. Anywho -- Uh-huh.
1:59
Sorry. --
2:00
you were gonna know that reference.
2:02
absolutely tracked. Do you know that song?
2:04
Do you know the song Kalamazoo? Oh, yes.
2:07
Yes. Yeah. It's a
2:08
requirement of being a citizen here.
2:10
I would think so. Well,
2:12
I've already blown it with you, Violet. Let's
2:15
let's be honest. I I don't only
2:17
not only do I have no game, I have negative
2:20
games. Yeah. So I
2:22
dug a hole before even started. But
2:24
Violet, it's it's very nice to meet you.
2:26
I like the art hanging up behind
2:28
you. It looks like you've got very
2:30
cool style. I'm checking out,
2:32
oh, you've got some very nice ink
2:35
on your arm. beautiful word. Thank you.
2:37
That's really I actually have your name on
2:39
my butt. Now she
2:43
was only
2:43
kidding. I couldn't commit to it. I'm about admire.
2:45
At that moment, I say, and I just panicked. And then
2:47
I'm like,
2:47
yeah. You'd be like, no. No. I didn't murder him.
2:49
Okay. I did. Yeah.
2:52
Definitely. So finally, tell
2:54
us about yourself. Okay.
2:56
Well, I'm a stripper. Oh,
2:58
hello. Whoa. You mean,
3:00
hello? This is fantastic. Wow. What do
3:02
you prefer? Is it stripper or exotic dancer
3:04
with you, like You know midnight down arena,
3:07
nah. Here we go. Or
3:09
whatever, you
3:10
know. What was that? Nine is a nice.
3:13
Yeah. What's what's after midnight ballerina?
3:15
You you listed enough. Make it fair enough.
3:19
I love these. Yeah. Fantastic.
3:22
I need a naked therapist. Yeah. I'll do it.
3:25
I'm gonna be all. I'm good. Bye. Yeah.
3:27
So Violet, this is really fascinating
3:29
to me. I don't know a
3:31
lot about
3:33
the profession of stripping
3:35
exotic dancing. How did
3:37
you learn how to do that?
3:39
you just kinda like
3:40
learn on the go. You know, there's really
3:42
I mean, these say say it's a tutorial for
3:44
everything, but when I started in
3:46
two thousand fifteen, you kind of just
3:48
watched other girls and hope for the
3:50
best, you know. Sure. Just kind of
3:52
wing it. Yeah. I I
3:54
yeah i
3:55
long time ago on the late night show,
3:59
someone gave me a pole dancing lesson
4:01
on the show. And I was shot at
4:03
how difficult it is. Mhmm. It it
4:05
takes I mean, you have to be
4:08
in terrific shape to do that and
4:10
I'm always impressed the times that
4:12
I've somehow stumbled into a strip
4:14
club. You know, usually
4:16
when I'm no. When I'm doing charity
4:18
work somewhere, I fall through a door. I see.
4:20
And it's right. I think I'm going into the closet
4:23
where the supplies are. They're gonna help humanity.
4:25
And then I oh, what? A strip club,
4:28
well, it would be rude to leave immediately. But
4:30
when I'm there, I'm always impressed with the athleticism
4:33
of of the women Do
4:35
you work on a pole? Because you have to, like, support
4:37
your whole body weight. It seems like it's very difficult.
4:39
Yeah. Well, you know, it's funny
4:41
when I was a kid, they failed
4:43
me out of gymnastics because I
4:45
was terrified of doing a handstand. Wouldn't
4:48
do it. So they wouldn't let me pass.
4:50
And then now every time I look sit down
4:52
on a pole. I think take that gymnastics.
4:55
Oh, yes.
4:55
If
4:59
only they if only they had played pour some
5:01
sugar on me at the gym, you probably
5:04
won't be able to pull it off. It's all about the
5:06
music. This would have cray. in my, like, five year
5:08
old brain. I would have been, like, feels
5:10
great. Let me at what's what kind of music
5:12
do you like to dance to? Do you have a favorite song?
5:14
Yeah. So I just like any
5:16
music that's depressing that
5:18
that set
5:19
you Wow. That's cool. Yeah.
5:21
I have
5:21
to fight with the corporation,
5:24
all the time because they want really, like, pop songs
5:26
uplifting, and I'm just, like, I want
5:28
men to cry dollar films. That's
5:30
cool. So,
5:34
like, fake plastic trays. Right? You know,
5:36
and that would be a good one. Alright. By radio
5:38
head, you know, something something
5:41
sad you know. Yeah. Like Well, the
5:43
scientists -- Oh. --
5:45
by by cold play, you know, in Oakland
5:48
-- Turn on your heart. like that you have
5:50
diamond. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
5:52
That's Sarah McLaughlin song. That's all about
5:54
the dying puppies.
5:54
Yes. Yeah. That's what I want
5:57
people to think of. You know, John can be
5:59
different stage.
5:59
So okay. I
6:03
have made questions. This is I'm
6:06
I'm I'm very happy about this interview because
6:08
I'm learning a lot. What what does the usual
6:10
client tell?
6:12
Like, what what kind of
6:14
guys do you mostly see
6:16
at the strip club.
6:17
Yeah. So for me, my
6:20
sweet spot is between the age
6:22
of thirty and six
6:23
Steve? No. I'm
6:25
in there. Okay. I mean,
6:26
I'm no depressed. You know?
6:28
Yeah. I'm in there. I tried it. kind
6:31
of introspective -- Yeah. -- you know, they're
6:33
like, I don't even know what I'm doing.
6:34
Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Man, I
6:36
am a business owner. I swear to god,
6:38
you were describing me to a cheese.
6:41
What else? Yeah. Tall red
6:43
headed.
6:44
Yeah. You know just, like, ninety percent
6:46
makes, ten percent hair, you know.
6:50
This is every woman's dream you're
6:53
describing. Incredible.
6:55
No. But seriously, so that's you
6:57
get a lot of and and what's the thing that guys
6:59
are seeing in strip clubs that they don't realize?
7:01
Every guy says they think they're the only
7:03
one saying it. Oh,
7:04
god. You know, there's so
7:06
much every night. It's like I have a bingo sheet
7:08
and I just check off things, you know.
7:10
Mhmm. Oh, you're
7:13
just like,
7:13
You're too smart to work here and you're
7:15
too nice to work here. Mhmm.
7:18
Do you care in snow you do you
7:20
do this, you know? that
7:22
sort of thing, do
7:25
you have a boyfriend? Can I take you out when you're
7:27
doing after the shift? And then I'm
7:29
going to
7:29
bad. Dude, it's like, six in
7:31
the morning. You know?
7:34
Yeah. They well,
7:36
that must be guys that
7:38
ask out a stripper that has to be
7:40
I don't know. I I did I'd
7:43
be men get confused -- Yeah. -- because
7:45
they think, oh, this woman is dancing for
7:47
me because she really men
7:49
are so stupid. They get confused about everything.
7:51
They get confused about everything.
7:52
If you just smile at them, they're like, oh,
7:54
she wants it. Yeah. So you
7:56
know, I could only imagine. like,
7:59
you don't know
7:59
anything about me. I could be a serial
8:02
killer. Like, you know,
8:04
It's dangerous for you. Yeah. Take me
8:06
off. No. It's thorough. I
8:08
would murder. Yeah. Yeah. It
8:11
would be a great cover. to
8:13
just murder it, guys. Just to be a
8:15
stripper. To be a stripper, and then they ask you
8:17
how you go into the middle of the night, you murder,
8:19
and then you walk away. They don't know.
8:21
a little Aimee Wuornos. Yeah.
8:24
Yeah.
8:24
Exactly. It's an attractive, sexy
8:27
woman was murdering me. I just say, like,
8:29
okay. This is just good. I
8:31
mean, I mean, I'd be like, roll for it. I mean, like,
8:33
this is as good a way to go as any.
8:35
Right. this beats be worse. Yeah. This beats,
8:37
like, bowel cancer down the line. I'll just
8:39
take this. Yeah. I guess it does.
8:42
Yeah. If she put, like, razor
8:44
blades in her long hair and was whipping it at
8:46
me. My gosh. That's
8:48
so specific. Really? It did. Yeah.
8:50
You've thought of that. Dude, hey. We
8:52
can make happened. Violet, would you put razor
8:54
blades in your hair and started whipping
8:56
your hair at me? I
8:59
would write it. have to sign
9:00
at a closure first, you
9:02
know. Oh, yeah. I just like
9:03
Golly's a lawyer you can do. Yeah. Let me write
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You guys, it's Andy Jack Black
13:18
is on the show. And I was
13:20
so freaking excited to
13:22
talk to him, and it had to had to be
13:24
rescheduled. And then we finally got together
13:27
And man oh man, did
13:29
we talk it up? But seriously, it was
13:31
a great episode. He's just the
13:33
best person. He talked about
13:35
Anne Bancroft. giving him
13:37
praise
13:37
early on when he was a child.
13:40
That's pretty cool. Anyway, three
13:42
questions. Jack Black
13:45
me. Come on. You like
13:47
me.
13:54
So
13:54
wow. So
13:57
and and did you mention you're
13:59
married? Is that right?
14:00
Yes. Okay. five
14:02
years as of the thirtieth. How
14:03
did you meet your husband?
14:05
So we've known each other
14:08
since junior year
14:10
high school. And
14:12
then we kind of, like,
14:15
just moved apart, you know, dating
14:17
different people. And I actually
14:20
reunited with him at the strip club.
14:22
Uh-huh. His friend dragged him
14:24
in because he got don't not my
14:26
husband, best friend. And they had my
14:28
husband be the silver
14:31
person to drive everybody around.
14:33
And I was in the
14:35
lobby talking to the door
14:37
girl and out the corner of my eye. I'm
14:38
like, wait. I went to high school with that
14:40
guy, you know. And I
14:43
always had a crush on him. So Oh,
14:45
that's I was, like, in my stage. Yeah.
14:47
And then I just, like, snapped came
14:49
to my stage because I love I love care
14:51
though surprise snacking all lean in like you're
14:53
about to kiss them
14:54
and then just Yeah. But you can only
14:56
do it on the right guy. You have to fill
14:58
it out. Sometimes they might man. Oh, so oh,
15:00
I see. So you're dancing and then you lean
15:02
into them like you're gonna kiss them and nailing them
15:04
and then you trick them and you slap
15:07
them. Yeah. Yeah. My
15:09
wife did that on the altar when I got
15:11
married. Oh, that's hot.
15:13
Yeah. It wasn't it wasn't hot at
15:15
all. She just really lies what she was in
15:17
for. Oh. She's very disappointed
15:19
and angry. Yeah. But we
15:21
got over it. We worked it out with therapy. Wow.
15:24
So that's so nice. You've been married a
15:26
while now. Yeah. And
15:28
like you said, you're gonna take courses. What kind of courses
15:30
are you gonna take?
15:32
So I am working towards my
15:35
business degree in
15:37
marketing.
15:37
Yeah. That's great. Yeah. And, you know, it
15:39
is kinda
15:39
kinda boring. Honestly, like, you know,
15:42
I went to art school. I had a
15:44
full scholarship and then I dropped out
15:46
because I'm like, ninety percent of this
15:48
is kind of bolshitting people. You know,
15:50
like, this is why my artist
15:52
deep, you know? Exactly. And honestly,
15:54
if you're gonna make it, you don't have to go to art
15:56
school and you just put yourself out there. And
15:58
I'm like, I need a backup. I
16:00
can't dance forever as much as I would love
16:02
to, you know. So that's my
16:04
backup. What's the most
16:05
money you've made in one night? Konya.
16:08
I'm
16:08
just curious. No. Oh, you know what?
16:10
I'm just curious. Question. Why don't I ask
16:12
that for that question? inappropriate. I don't know.
16:14
It's just inappropriate to ask somebody
16:16
how much money. I mean, I'm not
16:18
gonna give an what's that? Oh, go ahead.
16:20
Yeah. Okay. I'm not
16:21
gonna give an exact answer because the
16:23
thing is, guys, we'll take that
16:25
and run with it. They'll be oh, million
16:27
dollars per night, so you don't need this tip, you
16:29
know.
16:30
Oh, yeah. I wanna say it
16:32
was
16:32
in the couple thousands. That's amazing.
16:34
Wow. It's great. Wow. Yeah.
16:36
I might get into that. You should. I
16:39
you know, it's great workout, you
16:40
know, great socialization. You need
16:43
tons of people.
16:44
Mhmm. Yeah. We recommend that.
16:46
I'd probably be too old at this point.
16:48
I'm a I'm a man. Yeah. You don't
16:50
think so. I think There's
16:51
somebody out there for everybody. You
16:54
will scratch somebody's edge for sure. Do you
16:56
think you can't do it? You're
16:58
too
16:58
I'm going to do it. Yeah. No. I don't think
17:00
you can't. I don't very. I'm very free up
17:02
my I'm free with my body. Yeah.
17:04
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Very not
17:06
ashamed of anything. Okay.
17:09
The worst down. We're just a game
17:11
dancer. I could do the straight yes. I could do the
17:13
instrument. you could really pull the stringing.
17:15
Okay. What's this guy's what he's
17:17
talking about? By the way, did you have
17:19
Did you have a question for me, Violet? Because I'd
17:21
I'd love to help you out in any way I can.
17:23
If you
17:23
have anything you want to ask me.
17:26
So
17:26
I it's
17:27
kind of a two parter. I was wondering,
17:29
number one, if you were
17:31
going to be a stripper, what
17:33
would you stage maybe. And number
17:36
two, what song would you dance
17:38
to? Okay. Ginger
17:40
Snap. Oh, that's good. Isn't
17:42
ginger Snap good? That's good. And I do
17:44
the the patented ginger snap where I
17:46
snap my head and my hair would,
17:48
you know, go to the side
17:50
and maybe nothing else would move around to the
17:52
old Ginger Snapp. Oh,
17:52
I thought that was a that was a
17:54
song. Sorry. I got confused. That's your name.
17:56
That's my name. Ginger Snapp. That's so
17:59
high. I think it's
17:59
really hand out ginger snaps.
18:02
Yeah. Ginger. Yeah.
18:05
I mean, that's then my song would be common people
18:07
as sung by William Shatner. Oh,
18:10
okay. I did not
18:13
hear you have you heard the
18:15
Wampshire versions? This team is
18:17
absolutely amazing. Yeah. I know that
18:19
whole album. No. No. The Wampshire did an
18:21
amazing fifteen years ago or twelve
18:23
years ago, and he does the song common
18:25
people by pope. And you
18:27
have to -- Yeah. -- have to listen
18:29
to it. Violet, you have to promise
18:31
me you're gonna No. I'm
18:31
going to look it up, and I'm going to dance
18:34
together. I mean, you have and you have to,
18:35
like I mean, we we you
18:37
have to record this thing. Oh, no. This is
18:40
amazing. It's Shutner, and
18:42
Shutner kills it. Yeah. Does he not Edward,
18:44
do you know what I'm talking about? Why
18:46
can't we play it right here? Talk.
18:47
Can we play a moment of it right now?
18:49
clear it. We
18:50
probably can't clear it. Just play a
18:52
play a moment of it. It's so great. At
18:54
least so we can hear it. Yeah. And then
18:56
we'll see what happens. That's the album where he
18:59
does the Ben Fulton song with a young man
19:01
too. Yeah. Yeah. He's genius. Here
19:03
we go. This is gonna be good.
19:05
get ready violet. This is gonna be really good. Very excited.
19:07
Okay. Here we go. And you have to really crank it
19:09
when you dance to it. Alright? And you have to commit.
19:11
It's a long song.
19:14
Yeah.
19:15
Has a story yet
19:16
This is very important to
19:19
me. This is the most important
19:20
thing it's ever. Yep.
19:24
She came
19:24
from Greece. She had a thirst from
19:27
knowledge.
19:27
She studied sculpture and Saint
19:29
Martin's College. That's where
19:30
I This works. This act.
19:33
Clearly, super amazing. Yeah. We might
19:35
not have the rest of that song, so we implore you
19:37
listener to get the copy yourself and
19:39
play it along to this next section of
19:42
the podcast. is a song that should
19:44
be in your life. And to anyone else out there
19:46
who's an exotic dancer, dance to
19:48
this song. It's
19:53
such a great song. I
19:56
wanna sleep with common people
19:58
like you. What
20:00
else I do?
20:03
Okay. But
20:06
this could ask me
20:07
I'm telling you and it keeps building actually
20:10
good. And building and
20:12
building and building and
20:14
it is fantastic. And
20:16
I swear to God, I'm gonna fly to
20:18
Kalamazoo to watch you
20:20
do this. This is just insane. I
20:22
bucking the ring. Alright. Let's watch the language.
20:24
This is a children's show. Oh, yeah. My
20:26
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, father. I should I
20:28
need from my church lady back from us
20:30
right now. But, like, I
20:33
wore the administrative assistant
20:35
dress, so to remind myself to be
20:37
cleaner, and then I'm just like,
20:38
oh,
20:39
No. That's I think that's great. Violet
20:42
works. It really works. Yeah. I like
20:44
it. Violet, it is
20:46
so nice to talk to you.
20:49
And
20:49
amazing detective. And I also have to interrupt you
20:51
because my husband would kill me. He
20:53
needed me to tell you that he that
20:55
your arrow, the substance, was the best.
20:57
Oh,
20:57
that's really nice. Yeah. Well,
21:00
thank him for saying that. That'll
21:02
get other Simpsons writers really mad at
21:04
me. But Yeah. I
21:06
can't they can't find me now. I'm hiding.
21:08
Mhmm. So Violet, thank
21:10
you so much. Best of
21:12
luck. Good luck with all of your,
21:14
you know, your degree that you're working
21:16
towards and take care of
21:18
yourself and do this song, dance to
21:20
common people, William China. Absolutely.
21:21
I will. Don't be a stranger.
21:23
I'll look for you.
21:24
Alright. Thank you. One night,
21:26
you will see me there drinking
21:29
an incredibly tall, fruity
21:31
drink. I hope you
21:33
do it. Thank you so much. That's your other
21:35
boyfriend. Yeah. Exactly.
21:38
Konan
21:38
O'Brien needs a fan with Konan
21:40
O'Brien, Sonam obsessedian,
21:42
and Mac Gorley. produced by me, Matt
21:45
Gorely, executive produced by Adam
21:47
Sachs, Joanna Solateroff, and
21:49
Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and
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