0:00

Hi there , welcome to Conversations , where we

0:02

seek to advance your leader in team excellence

0:04

by discussing relevant topics that

0:07

impact today's organizations

0:09

. Welcome to the show , Welcome

0:12

to Conversations , where today we

0:14

have Ms Sue Ryan . Sue's

0:16

mission is to empower and embolden

0:18

individuals to maximize the opportunities

0:21

and potential change will

0:23

bring . As a speaker , change

0:25

strategist , author , executive

0:27

coach , caregiving coach and mentor

0:29

, she lives this through two passions

0:32

of her purpose she guides

0:34

and inspires leaders and emerging

0:36

leaders committed to business growth and

0:38

next level leadership to be great leaders

0:40

of themselves and others . Sue guides

0:42

non-professional caregivers to become

0:45

confident , balanced and supported

0:47

in all phases of their caregiving

0:49

journey . Sue delivers these through

0:51

her signature offerings intentionally

0:54

navigating transitions , leadership

0:57

through the dimensions of change , the

0:59

prodigies , own leadership , cares

1:01

and the caregivers journey . And

1:04

for all you strengths , enthusiasts , Sue leads

1:06

with woo , self-assurance achiever

1:09

, positivity and maximizer

1:11

. So welcome to the show . How

1:14

are you today ?

1:16

Kelly , I am great and grateful

1:18

grateful to be here and have an opportunity

1:20

to share with your listeners things

1:23

that I'm called to share with the world

1:25

.

1:26

And I'm really excited about this . We connected

1:29

on LinkedIn and that's how we met . And

1:32

the more that I learned we sat and had coffee

1:34

that one day and the more I learned about

1:37

this journey that you're on

1:39

it . Just it sparked

1:41

in me . It's like , oh my

1:43

goodness , I need to see if she wants to come on conversations

1:46

, because this information a lot

1:48

of times people don't think about in

1:51

leadership and organizations when

1:53

it has to do with caregiving . So I

1:55

would love to just roll right into

1:58

. How did this passion

2:00

just come about for you ?

2:03

It came about for me that

2:05

for the past 40 years

2:07

, roles of non-professional

2:10

or family caregiving support have been being brought

2:12

into my life and

2:14

I've been navigating them in parallel with

2:17

the other roles of my life , which , for

2:19

more than 30 years , included

2:21

my professional career

2:23

in enterprise application software sales

2:26

, and what

2:28

I recognized is the

2:30

issues that

2:33

family caregivers face

2:35

when navigating professional

2:37

roles , especially because , through

2:39

the majority of my career , it

2:41

wasn't appropriate for me to share that I was also

2:43

a family caregiver because

2:46

of stigmas and other kinds

2:48

of things that now many

2:50

of which have gone away . However , it

2:52

created an extra burden , and

2:55

the other side of that is there

2:58

is a tsunami coming . The

3:00

number of caregivers

3:02

is increasing exponentially , or the

3:04

number of caregivers is

3:07

increasing exponentially and the number

3:09

of caregivers is being reduced

3:11

exponentially many because

3:14

those baby boomers who used

3:16

to be the family caregivers are now becoming

3:18

caregivers , and

3:21

people , especially after the pandemic , who

3:23

would have gone into professional roles

3:25

as caregiving

3:27

support . They're

3:30

like I'm out of here , I'm not doing this

3:32

.

3:35

So what are the statistics saying ? What

3:37

are you finding in your research around

3:39

caregiving ? And

3:41

you just tell me I know that there's

3:44

probably a lot of statistics out there what kind

3:46

of jumped out to you or continues

3:48

for you to kind of scratch your head out

3:50

?

3:52

I'll read off these statistics and

3:55

we can apply context

3:57

to them later . But worldwide

4:00

and these are conservative numbers , because

4:02

it's not like I've gone to the doctor's office

4:04

or someplace else and they have a box that says

4:06

are you a family caregiver

4:08

? So whatever numbers we're using

4:11

are on

4:13

the lower side of what actually is

4:15

really the true number . So

4:18

these are still staggering . Just

4:20

with 18 countries worldwide

4:23

they've identified , there are

4:25

more than 25 billion

4:27

family caregivers . In

4:31

the United States alone

4:33

, family

4:36

caregivers are providing more than

4:38

$600 billion

4:41

in unpaid payer

4:43

, and

4:45

there are more than 53 million family

4:47

caregivers in the United States alone . So

4:50

the amount of unpaid care

4:52

that they're providing is significant , and

4:55

there are way more statistics on all of that . But

4:58

about 25% of the family caregivers

5:01

are caring for more than one person . There

5:05

are about the 53 million

5:07

that are over 18 years old . However

5:09

, there are nearly 4 million

5:12

family caregivers who are

5:14

18 years or

5:16

under , and so we're

5:18

not talking about just having

5:20

people who you would have traditionally thought

5:22

of as more senior or whatever . More

5:26

than 60% and they've got the numbers between

5:28

60 and 70% of family caregivers

5:30

are either working full or

5:33

part-time , and

5:36

by 2034 , this is one of the statistics

5:39

I think is staggering , which is why I

5:41

really want people in business

5:43

who may not be thinking of this as significant

5:46

. One statistic to me is one

5:48

by 2034

5:51

, adults 65

5:54

and older will

5:56

outnumber children

5:58

under the age

6:00

of 18 .

6:02

That's amazing .

6:03

Yeah , so you know they're , you

6:08

know and the

6:10

people who are care receivers a

6:12

couple statistics on that and we'll move them forward but

6:16

more than 8 million disabled children

6:18

under the age of 21 . And so when

6:20

we're talking about care receivers

6:23

, we're not talking about an age demographic

6:25

, a diagnosis demographic . We're talking about

6:27

a variety of disabilities

6:30

and ages . That the spectrum is significant

6:32

and this is a sad

6:34

one , and this is really why one of the reasons

6:36

that I find it so important to be raising this

6:39

in the business community More

6:41

than 40% of

6:44

family caregivers are

6:46

leaving the workforce

6:48

because they

6:50

can't navigate both , and

6:54

they're losing over

6:56

$3 trillion in wages , pensions

6:59

and benefits . Now , if

7:01

you look at that statistic on the other side of it

7:03

, think of yourself as a business and

7:06

you've got these valuable , valuable , valuable

7:08

employees . And when we have more

7:10

baby boomers , which means that they're retiring

7:13

, we want to keep every valuable

7:15

asset in our organization that we can , who

7:17

can be bringing up and guiding

7:19

and leading

7:22

the next wave of leaders . So we

7:24

don't want people to have to leave . It's

7:26

also expensive and time consuming

7:28

to try to replace them . The

7:31

more that we can do to

7:33

help family caregivers be able

7:35

to stay in their roles and stay

7:37

valuable , because it also

7:39

helps them , gives them sense of purpose

7:41

and connects them and money and all these other things , the

7:44

better off it's going to be . So there are a whole wide

7:46

range of statistics that help you get an

7:48

idea of how significant this

7:50

issue really is .

7:53

And that's amazing because organizations

7:55

are identifying , like the Family

7:57

Leave Act , so maternity leave

7:59

and different things like

8:01

that , disabilities within the workplace and

8:04

whatnot . But it seems a

8:06

rarity that I've heard

8:08

anyway about caregiving

8:11

support within

8:13

organizations and you just rattled off

8:15

a whole bunch of information about the

8:17

benefits that an organization can

8:20

have by keeping their people

8:22

good , solid people who

8:24

have that knowledge and experience

8:26

that they've come to know . And so

8:28

what are these conversations maybe

8:30

look like for organizations who

8:32

are listening to this and kind

8:35

of the light bulbs going off for

8:37

them .

8:38

Sure , the things that

8:40

are valuable to know . So , ground

8:43

level , what

8:45

we're talking about , companies

8:47

have already addressed things like

8:50

this in the past when they came up . So

8:52

, while this is something that they're facing that

8:54

is newer to them , it's

8:57

not like they're starting something

8:59

that's a brand new dynamic they've never done before

9:01

. They don't have processes . For example , they

9:04

started , like you were saying , maternity

9:06

and Family Leave Act . Many

9:09

organizations now have childcare

9:11

centers for children . The

9:13

dynamic of family caregiving

9:15

is just another type

9:17

of a focus on a special

9:20

group of people who are as valuable to you

9:22

as anyone else and you want to

9:24

keep them . Part of the conversation

9:26

comes into when you look organizationally

9:29

, many organizations

9:32

will say and I've had these conversations , they're

9:34

interesting conversations

9:37

because , all of a sudden , when this door

9:39

opens for them , they're like , wow

9:41

, and here's what happens in the conversation

9:43

. They're like , well , we don't have people coming

9:45

to us saying that they need family caregiving

9:47

support , that

9:49

they don't need benefits packages . They're

9:52

not coming to us with that . Yes

9:54

, I understand . And how

9:56

many of them do

9:59

you have you've recognized in the company ? Oh

10:01

, not very many . We really we don't have

10:03

very many . One

10:05

of the things that happens is that

10:07

family caregivers do

10:10

not self-identify in the work

10:12

environment as a family caregiver for

10:15

several reasons . Some of them may not be legitimate

10:17

in the company they're there for , but they don't want to testing

10:20

the waters unless the company comes

10:22

out and says we embrace you . One reason

10:24

is companies have not identified

10:27

that they embrace family caregivers and

10:29

family caregivers . One of the issues they're going to

10:31

have is they're going to have to be

10:33

taking some time off . They may have some unplanned

10:35

time off . They may have to have days

10:37

where they're only working a few hours

10:40

. So their schedules may be , especially

10:42

during their caregiving journey . Their schedules may

10:44

be impacted somewhat . If

10:46

they say to the leadership

10:48

team I'm a family

10:50

caregiver , what their perception

10:53

is in many , many conversations

10:55

with family caregivers who are also working

10:57

well , they're not going to give me projects

10:59

to do , they're not going to promote me

11:01

, they're not going to give me a bonus

11:04

because I have to take time off , and

11:06

so they don't want . And they say when

11:08

they're , if they have to cut back , they're going to cut me back

11:10

. So they're concerned

11:12

and afraid of allowing the organization to know

11:14

they're actually a family caregiver , for fear

11:17

of whether obviously

11:19

known or just assumed . They're

11:22

not being recognized and honored

11:24

and respected , and that's one of the things . And

11:26

so when you have an organization

11:28

and they're unaware

11:30

of it and you raise this to their level of awareness

11:32

, they're like wow , let's

11:34

start by finding out , making

11:37

family caregivers feel welcome

11:39

to share with us they actually are

11:42

so that we

11:44

can then create support , resources

11:46

and mechanisms , create team structures

11:49

, do all kinds of things that continue

11:51

to allow us as a business to thrive , which

11:54

is what you really want the business to be able to do , while

11:56

allowing teams to be able to be successful

11:59

working with family caregivers and

12:01

yet give family caregivers the ability

12:03

to stay valuable

12:05

resources in the organization .

12:09

For sure . I feel as though

12:11

if an organization creates

12:13

that environment that is

12:15

inviting for somebody to step out

12:17

and say , yes , I am , and this is

12:19

what I need and this is how you can help

12:21

, I think that more people would probably

12:23

step into that . But it

12:26

kind of leads me to the question about

12:28

how do you self-identify

12:30

as a caregiver ? What does that look like

12:32

? Because I'm sure that there are a lot of people

12:34

who are giving care who

12:36

are not saying I'm a caregiver .

12:39

Yes , that's such a great question

12:41

and it actually works on both sides

12:43

self-identifying as a caregiver , self-identifying

12:46

as a care receiver . In

12:49

the concept of self-identifying as

12:51

a caregiver there

12:53

are probably more than

12:55

three , but I've come up with three different categories

12:57

. One is I know I'm

12:59

a family caregiver . I have stepped into

13:02

it . I understand what it is . I

13:04

am providing support

13:06

for someone and I'm

13:09

not a professional . This is not my job . I

13:11

haven't been hired to do this . I

13:13

may be getting paid money for it . For example

13:15

, if there are several siblings and

13:17

somebody lives close to mom and dad and

13:20

one of them is caring for them , other family

13:22

members may be paying them . So it doesn't mean

13:24

that the family caregiver is unpaid

13:26

. That's something . That's a term some people use , but

13:29

they're not a professional . This

13:31

is not their job . They've stepped into this to help

13:33

out , either because there's nobody else to do

13:35

it , they can't afford any other resource , or

13:38

they choose to do it . So there are reasons why

13:40

they would . So one is very easily I

13:42

am a family caregiver . Another

13:44

one is I

13:46

get the sense I'm going to be a family caregiver

13:49

and boy , I just want to push that down the road

13:51

as long as I can . I really don't want

13:53

to have to step into

13:55

that yet . I want to try to find every other

13:57

option available before I

13:59

have to step into that . So they're resisting

14:01

being identified as a

14:04

family caregiver and will be very specific

14:06

about oh no , I'm not caregiving . So

14:08

they're resisting that . And the third

14:10

one is they're afraid

14:13

to allow people to know

14:15

that they are a caregiver

14:17

. They know they are , but especially

14:19

, like at work , they don't want

14:22

people to know . Or they also

14:24

don't want social circles to know , because

14:26

they feel , either culturally , familially

14:29

or socially , that they might

14:31

be judged or that people will

14:33

treat them differently and they don't want that

14:35

. So there are some . All of

14:37

these are fear-based reasons . They

14:40

don't self-identify .

14:42

How do we help somebody step

14:45

into that role ? Because

14:48

that is , it can be very scary .

14:51

It can be very scary , Based

14:54

on the conversation we're having today . What

14:56

I'll do is I'll talk about it from the business

14:58

perspective of it . The

15:00

program that I created called Leadership

15:02

Cares , and Cares is an acronym for Caregiving

15:05

, Awareness , Resources , Empowerment

15:07

and Solutions

15:09

. A business

15:11

would first , from a leadership

15:14

perspective , come out

15:16

proactively and say we

15:18

support family caregivers

15:21

, we support people who are providing

15:23

care for a family member

15:25

or loved one , and they

15:27

define what that sounds like and looks

15:29

like . And we

15:31

support you . We want you to feel

15:33

comfortable having conversations

15:36

with us so that we can

15:38

create programs that

15:40

support you being able to stay

15:42

working with us and

15:44

we can continue to be supporting

15:46

our customers and providing the level

15:49

of service and product

15:51

that we're committed to . So

15:53

it's from a leadership perspective

15:55

, giving people permission to step into that

15:57

. One of the things that I've done is I've created

16:00

a resource that asks

16:02

a number of questions for

16:05

helping people self-identify

16:07

if they are a caregiver . Some of those might be our

16:11

well , and let me take that back . One

16:13

statement we may not

16:15

know . We've become a caregiver because

16:18

we started out just

16:21

, you know , helping out our neighbor , picking

16:23

up the newspaper for them and

16:25

then taking out the trash for them

16:27

. And then we're like well , we're going to go to the grocery store

16:29

, Can I pick anything up for you ? And

16:31

then they call us and say I've got to run

16:33

to the doctor , Could you take me to the doctor ? Gradually

16:36

, over time , we've been adding additional responsibility

16:39

after responsibility . There wasn't

16:41

a thing that says , if you're doing this

16:43

, you've all of a sudden crossed

16:45

the line to being a family caregiver and

16:48

so , under the construct of

16:50

that , it's asking

16:52

yourself questions to raise to your level of awareness

16:54

. How many things am I actually doing ? Am

16:57

I checking on the medications of someone ? Am

17:00

I taking them to appointments ? Am

17:02

I driving for them so they don't have to

17:04

? Am I calling them on a regular basis

17:07

because I'm concerned about their health

17:09

or safety ? Am

17:11

I investing more of my time focusing

17:14

on what their needs are ? Are

17:16

we doing outsourcing more things ? So I have a variety

17:19

of different things that help people raise

17:22

to their level of awareness that , oh

17:24

, maybe I am a family caregiver .

17:27

And where can somebody get that ? Is

17:29

that available ?

17:31

It is available . It's

17:34

available . I've created an

17:36

online course called the Caregivers' Journey , where

17:38

I walk people through the journey , and that is one

17:40

of the attached

17:43

worksheets for that . However , what

17:45

I'll do is I will give you the

17:48

document and you can

17:50

put it on your site if you'd like to , and

17:52

then for your listeners , they can go ahead

17:54

and get that , and that just

17:57

helps to check , to self-identify

17:59

if maybe they are a

18:02

family caregiver , and

18:06

that's actually where the term that's where sometimes

18:08

people will separate the term non-professional

18:10

from a family caregiver . They're basically

18:12

very similar , but I have been

18:14

a non-professional caregiver . I've

18:16

been a caregiver for people

18:18

who I'm not related to , but

18:22

not in a professional capacity . So

18:24

some people get hung up on the term family

18:27

because they think it's only members of your family

18:29

.

18:32

So we've talked about the organization

18:34

. If we were talking , let's go

18:37

to a team dynamic , let's go

18:39

down even further from the organization

18:41

and you have a team member

18:43

one maybe

18:45

even more than one on a team who has said

18:47

you know , I have self

18:50

identified as a caregiver

18:52

, I may have some

18:54

additional needs . How could maybe

18:56

a team rally around that person

18:59

?

19:00

That is a great question . Several

19:02

of the things that can be done from a team

19:04

dynamic is when team

19:07

members are comfortable self

19:09

identifying as a caregiver , the

19:11

entire team understands what

19:13

they are . Then the team members who

19:15

don't know anything about family caregiving

19:18

there's information that can help them understand

19:20

what some of the impacts can be and

19:22

the person who is the family caregiver can talk

19:24

a little bit , to wherever they're comfortable with

19:27

, about their caregiving journey . Then

19:29

what the team does is lays out here

19:31

the things that we're working on and identifies

19:34

where the family caregiver is involved with

19:36

them and the responsibilities they have . I've

19:38

seen a variety of different things be done

19:41

that , depending on the

19:43

season the family caregiver is in

19:45

with their care receiver , they

19:47

might shift some of the responsibilities

19:49

they're performing with the team to

19:51

someone else , or they

19:54

may have a backup so that if , for

19:56

any reason , they are not

19:58

able to be there for an important meeting , someone

20:01

else has access to their information

20:03

. Someone else understands that they would be

20:05

tasked with taking

20:07

notes or things like that . So they create

20:09

a process that understands the fact

20:11

that periodically this person may not

20:14

be available and when everybody's a

20:16

part of it , because everybody wants to help . People

20:18

want to help . When they're able

20:20

to come together creatively and say what are

20:22

we going to do , it helps

20:24

everybody . Now one of the really

20:27

exciting parts of this that I've seen in

20:29

businesses when they have done this is

20:31

that other people

20:34

have recognized when they

20:36

have something going on in their family

20:38

they're using the same team

20:40

dynamic , not just

20:42

because of caregiving but , for example

20:45

, one of the ones is that

20:47

somebody was having their knee

20:49

replaced and they

20:51

said let's use this exercise because

20:54

I'm going to be having my knee replaced . So proactively

20:56

they say they got whiteboards and they put things out and

20:59

they just shifted things for

21:01

people to have . So it can expand

21:03

to a variety of different areas . But

21:05

it allows the team dynamic to be creative

21:07

and to be supportive and have backup

21:10

plans so that the team can be

21:12

productive and everybody

21:14

feels good . They're not feeling resentful because somebody

21:16

keeps calling out and they don't know why .

21:20

And that's a great way to

21:22

display empathy .

21:27

Grace , empathy and compassion are so huge

21:29

.

21:29

Yes , Wow , what else

21:32

? What else haven't

21:34

we talked about ? That's important

21:36

to get out here today

21:39

.

21:41

One of the things that we

21:43

had talked about is some of the things that

21:45

might be helpful for people if they

21:47

currently are in a role

21:49

of caregiving . Support and

21:53

while that's a very broad topic

21:55

, because you could be caregiving

21:57

for any kind of diagnosis at any kind of age

21:59

all of these different things Two

22:02

things that have been impactful for my

22:04

life that began in my role

22:07

as a caregiver and have now expanded to

22:09

all parts of my life , and

22:11

people who I've worked with have embraced

22:13

it in all areas of their life is massive

22:16

acceptance and radical

22:18

presence . It

22:21

came to me when I was evaluating

22:24

a caregiving experience with my dad

22:26

, when I felt like I had really let

22:28

him down caring

22:30

for him , and it was because , while

22:32

I had been caregiving for

22:34

many other people and

22:37

I knew he had a diagnosis and I had

22:39

accepted that , I was

22:41

still trying to get him to do something based on

22:43

the way I had lived my

22:45

life and things he had taught me my whole life , and

22:48

while I was present to what he was struggling with

22:50

, I wasn't fully

22:52

present because I was trying to get him to

22:54

do something that he had taught me

22:56

about being safe and I

22:58

didn't realize he didn't have access to that anymore , because

23:00

I'm trying to do what my dad taught me all my life

23:03

. And so what I recognized is that there's a

23:05

difference between accepting something and

23:07

being present to massively

23:09

accepting , which is we

23:12

accept exactly what

23:15

is . We

23:17

accept it 100% . We

23:20

don't have to like it , we

23:22

don't have to agree with it and in the moment

23:24

we don't even have to understand it . That may come

23:26

days , weeks , months , years later . We

23:28

just have to accept it . And , most importantly

23:30

, we have to accept it without judgment

23:33

, not judgment of ourselves or others , of the

23:35

situation . So we massively

23:37

accept this . And when we

23:39

do , from a presence

23:41

perspective , we practice radical

23:44

presence , which is saying , fully focused

23:46

in the moment , which is all we really have

23:48

. We're not doing what I

23:50

was doing . I was wanting

23:53

it to be the way it had been before

23:55

, remembering the way my dad had taught me , the way

23:57

he'd been doing things all his life . And

23:59

then I was also projecting , fortune telling

24:01

, projecting in the future , based on what

24:04

could potentially happen , as

24:06

opposed to really looking at what the

24:08

potential impossibilities in the moment were

24:10

. And when we practice massive

24:12

acceptance and radical presence , we

24:14

are able to see the potential impossibilities

24:17

in the moment , which means we're

24:20

able to make the wisest decisions

24:23

because we're not judging it

24:25

, we're not clouding it with anything . It's like what

24:27

is here and now , what do we make the decision

24:29

? The gift

24:31

in that is that we're able

24:34

to make a more challenging decision

24:36

and feel confident

24:38

with it so we can move forward and take the next steps

24:40

and we can get support if that's the right thing to do . But

24:43

the other part of it is

24:45

that we can see beauty and even the tiniest

24:48

little thing , because we're right there

24:50

, fully present , and we're just observing it for

24:52

exactly what it is . So I would

24:54

say that one of the greatest things

24:56

caregiver , in any area of

24:58

their caregiving , experience

25:00

and journey , is massive

25:03

acceptance and radical

25:05

presence .

25:09

Wow , and

25:12

you know that

25:15

can go through and , like you said , it could be in every area

25:17

of your life that you can be

25:19

utilizing those , because it's really important

25:22

if we're going to be present in the moment and

25:24

really embrace what's in front of us .

25:27

When you practice it in other areas of your life , it just

25:30

keeps getting better and better and better

25:32

. Yeah , like it's easier , like

25:35

it's easier , and it's not

25:37

devoid of challenges , it's just devoid

25:39

of how , because I

25:41

also feel like everything in our lives

25:43

is happening for us . There's

25:46

a lesson for us in everything , whether it's a challenging moment

25:48

or a positive moment . It allows us

25:50

to be able to see that , so we can grow

25:52

from those things . So

25:55

it is great in all areas of our lives .

25:59

We talked about something briefly when we

26:01

met for coffee that day and it was about

26:03

self care , and I'd love for you

26:05

to maybe just touch on self

26:08

care for caregivers .

26:11

So thank you for asking that Such a great question

26:14

. Self care and I say self

26:16

care isn't selfish , it's self love

26:18

. Self

26:21

care can be very challenging because

26:23

we want to provide

26:25

the best level of care possible for

26:27

our care receiver and it's easy

26:30

for us to just shave off a little here

26:32

or a little there . I

26:34

don't need much sleep , I can stay up an extra hour

26:36

after they've gone to bed and do the finances , or

26:39

I can get up an extra hour early and do the laundry

26:41

, and so we , instead of going

26:43

to the gym , will do the laundry or do something else

26:45

because we want to make sure we're fully

26:47

present for our care receiver . So

26:50

we begin to shave off . Or we

26:53

haven't defined what self

26:55

care looks like for us . We haven't said

26:58

to ourselves self care is so

27:00

important , and so

27:02

self care is the combination

27:04

of what does it look like for

27:07

you ? What

27:10

does it look like if you don't practice it ? Because

27:12

many of us have stepped into overwhelm

27:15

and we've seen , when we're not practicing self-care

27:17

, what happens . And

27:20

so what does it look like for you ? And then , how

27:22

do you apply it ? Let's say you've only got a

27:24

minute or two . What would be

27:26

something you could do in a minute , what

27:29

would you do if you had five minutes , if you had

27:31

an hour , if you had two hours ? And

27:34

then you look intentionally . So self-care

27:36

is something that's intentional in our

27:38

lives . How do you

27:40

intentionally incorporate it into

27:42

your life so

27:45

that you remember you

27:47

need to take care of you and you

27:49

honor that ? And

27:53

as your caregiving journey goes through different

27:55

seasons , you have different ways

27:57

of being able to practice it . You also

28:00

recognize that if you get to a place in

28:02

your life where you don't

28:04

have capacity or you feel like you have

28:06

to shave off self-care , that's

28:09

a place where you go . I

28:11

need support . It's time for me to reach

28:13

out to somebody else because I'm not giving up self-care

28:16

, because if you're not there for your care receiver

28:18

, that's

28:21

a bigger problem .

28:24

Yeah , and that kind of has

28:26

my mind circling back to the organizational

28:28

element and how , if you are

28:31

being supported at

28:33

an organization , how can that organization

28:35

make sure that self-care is part of the

28:38

process ? That sounds

28:40

like it's something that would be important , because

28:43

we want our people showing up well

28:45

to work .

28:47

You want them showing up well and then you want them to have

28:49

, and I have noticed organizations have done

28:52

things They'll have . Some of them have like

28:54

a Zen garden where some of them will have

28:56

a space where people can go and just be quiet

28:58

. Some organizations , while

29:00

they don't necessarily call it self-care

29:03

, they support the concept of that or

29:05

they've created programs where somebody could go out

29:07

and take a course or they could do something

29:09

. But I like what you're saying

29:11

is to make it in an intentional part

29:13

of what people are doing , and

29:17

truly self-care doesn't have

29:19

to be something that you have to do

29:21

an hour in the morning and then 15

29:23

minutes in the afternoon or whatever . It can be a variety

29:26

of different things . It's you figuring

29:29

out what it is for you and being intentional

29:31

about doing it .

29:34

You know , I know you are a woman of faith , so I

29:36

would love to hear a little bit about how

29:39

all of this combined

29:41

the work that you do kind

29:44

of you know attaches

29:46

to your faith , what that means

29:48

to you .

29:50

From a faith perspective . I

29:53

have conversations with God all the time and

29:56

my conversations are if

29:59

there's something I can be doing to

30:01

provide a better level of support for

30:03

my loved one , until you're ready for them

30:05

, please let me know . I'm

30:08

doing what I feel

30:10

that I can do and it's

30:12

very important to me , and yet please

30:14

keep guiding me if I could be doing something

30:16

better for their care . And

30:19

I also recognize

30:21

I can only control me and

30:24

, from a faith-based perspective , I

30:26

thank God . All the time I

30:28

say I don't know why . This is

30:30

our journey . I accept this is

30:32

our journey . Maybe someday I will understand

30:35

. I don't need to understand

30:37

. I accept it and

30:40

whatever lessons you have for

30:42

me I don't want to miss

30:44

. So please allow

30:47

me to learn the lessons and

30:49

if I'm not paying attention , thump me . And

30:51

also , for my care receiver , help

30:54

me make sure that if there's something you

30:56

want for them , if there's a lesson they still

30:59

need to learn before you're ready

31:01

for them , that I put them in the

31:03

best position for that lesson to

31:05

be a part of their journey .

31:07

That is beautiful . Thank you for sharing

31:09

that .

31:10

Thank you . I really feel like God

31:14

brought me here for a reason . He brought it all of us

31:16

for a reason . He's got reasons for the things

31:18

he does that we don't necessarily understand . This

31:20

is our journey . I don't fight it . I'm

31:23

not angry with God about anything . I'm not

31:25

angry with anybody about anything . I

31:27

embrace it as what is there here for us to learn

31:29

. Would I have chosen it ? I

31:32

wouldn't have chosen it if you had given me a list

31:34

. However , there

31:36

are all kinds of things we wouldn't choose in our lives

31:39

if we had a list to choose them . And

31:41

yet , when we reflect back , we've

31:44

developed resilience , we're stronger , we've

31:46

learned things from it . It's the same thing

31:48

with grief . We wouldn't have the emotion of grief if

31:50

it didn't have a purpose in our lives

31:52

, and so , while most people wish

31:55

they didn't have to navigate grief , there's

31:58

a reason for it .

32:00

There sure is , Wow

32:02

, A lot of good information

32:05

here . Ms Sue Ryan

32:07

, how can people get ahold of you

32:09

Because I'm sure there's gonna be listeners who

32:11

you really pique their interest , whether

32:13

it's at an organizational level , leadership

32:16

level or individual level who maybe

32:19

just heard something today

32:21

and is like I need to just

32:23

reach out to Sue . How can they get more

32:25

information ? And I will put what

32:27

you sent me into the show

32:29

notes there , but how can people get

32:31

ahold of you ? Maybe find out a little bit more about

32:33

what you do .

32:35

Thank you . My email address is

32:38

Sue at su-ryansolutions

32:41

. My website

32:43

is su-ryansolutions

32:45

and

32:48

people can reach out through that . I'm on

32:50

. I'll look

32:53

on LinkedIn . I don't remember if I'm Susan Ryan

32:55

. My given name is Susan . I

32:57

don't remember if I'm Susan Ryan or Sue Ryan

32:59

on LinkedIn .

33:01

All right , and look for the red hair .

33:04

Yeah , you can tell from my profile picture

33:07

. If you've found there , Let me pull it up real quick . I'll tell

33:09

you who I am on LinkedIn and

33:12

those are , and I really

33:14

want people to know they

33:17

never have to be alone on

33:19

their journey . So

33:22

, yeah , on LinkedIn I'm Sue Ryan or Sue Armstrong Ryan . Yeah , so I'm

33:24

Sue Ryan , At any rate

33:26

, wherever

33:28

they are . I

33:31

hope that this gives them the opportunity

33:33

to consider , if

33:36

they're on a journey or if they are leading others who

33:40

are on the journey , ways for them

33:42

to be able to provide

33:45

an extra level of support . And

33:47

one other point diagnoses

33:49

don't discriminate . You

33:52

can be the CEO of an organization and

33:55

your spouse or your parents they have something and

33:57

they need a caregiver and

34:01

you instantly become a caregiver . It

34:03

doesn't matter where you are in an organization . You can become a family caregiver

34:05

.

34:09

One last question that I have about it early on about

34:13

when organizations assess what

34:16

is a good way for them to be assessing . What does that

34:18

look like , and is there implications with HR and legal

34:21

issues ? How

34:24

does that work ? Do

34:27

you happen to have an answer to that ? They

34:31

are very important .

34:34

They have it all reviewed and I'm not

34:36

an attorney and I'm not an HR

34:38

specialist . I've had conversations . Different

34:41

organizations have navigated this differently

34:43

. The

34:46

recommendation I will say is , whatever you do

34:48

, run it through legal and through HR , because

34:50

there are implications . However , from

34:52

a leadership perspective , when

34:56

the organizational leadership communicates

34:58

to the organization

35:01

, we understand

35:04

and we want to learn more

35:06

about the family caregivers in our organization

35:08

so that we can provide

35:11

support resources for

35:13

them and for our team

35:15

, so that we can all work together

35:17

, because it's not just the family caregiver

35:19

, it's the other people who are impacted . When

35:21

the organization makes it known

35:24

that caregivers have permission

35:26

to

35:29

then self-identify , then

35:32

whatever way the organization chooses

35:34

to do that In the beginning , one

35:37

of the things some of them have done is

35:39

a completely anonymous

35:42

survey . They've

35:45

said we don't want to know who you are . All

35:49

we want to know is how

35:51

many family caregivers we have , how many non-professional

35:53

caregivers we have , so that we can be

35:55

considering how to support you

35:57

. It's

36:00

having the caregivers have

36:03

permission to self-identify , knowing

36:05

that it's okay that they can do that .

36:10

Then start taking questions . Reach out to

36:12

Sue Ryan . She will help you navigate

36:14

the process for this

36:16

because it is important . Like

36:19

I said earlier , it's probably

36:22

something that organizations

36:24

are not really thinking about unless

36:27

it has somehow . Their

36:29

top leadership has been

36:32

a caregiver or had to look

36:35

into caregiving A lot of

36:37

times . Things at the top they will

36:40

trickle down if there's been experience

36:42

up here where they need to know

36:44

and need to expand that .

36:47

It's been challenging as I go into organizations

36:49

. It's challenging because there are so many

36:52

things going on in organizations

36:54

right now . It would be great

36:57

to be able to push it farther down the road . The

36:59

challenge is this is not

37:01

something that's linear , being pushed down

37:04

the road . It's increasing exponentially

37:06

, and so the longer

37:09

that an organization goes without

37:11

addressing it , the exponential

37:13

increase in the impact it's going to have

37:15

.

37:18

Well , thank you , sue , for coming on conversations

37:21

and really unpacking the good work

37:23

that you're doing , the insight that

37:25

you have and just

37:28

your strength and your courage

37:30

and your collaboration with

37:32

organizations and leaders and individuals

37:34

who are meeting

37:36

with you and having those good conversations

37:39

about what their next steps are . So thank

37:41

you so much . I appreciate you and the work

37:43

that you're doing .

37:45

I appreciate you and the work you're doing and

37:47

helping leaders and everything that you're bringing

37:49

with the messages that you are , and

37:51

I'm really grateful for the opportunity to

37:54

raise this to people's level

37:56

of awareness so that they can consider

37:59

it as they move forward . Thank

38:01

you .

38:01

You're welcome . I keep saying it is important

38:03

work and it's

38:06

different . And

38:08

I love the conversation because it's different

38:11

than just the

38:13

regular things you think about within leadership

38:16

and teams and organizations

38:18

. It's just different , but

38:20

it's a need to . We

38:22

need to be having these conversations , we

38:25

need to be figuring out

38:27

how to honor our people and

38:29

doing it with what their

38:32

needs are , because , like you said , it could

38:34

look different depending on the person . Thank

38:36

you .

38:37

I appreciate you . I do Thank you , thank

38:40

you , thank

39:14

you , thank

39:44

you , thank

40:14

you , thank

40:41

you , thank

41:13

you , thank

41:44

you , thank

42:11

you , thank

42:43

you , thank

43:11

you , thank

43:43

you , thank

44:11

you , thank

44:43

you , you

45:01

, you

45:31

, you

46:01

, you

46:31

, you

51:17

, music

51:36

, music

51:46

, music

51:55

, music

52:02

, music

52:15

, music

52:24

, music

52:30

, music

52:43

, music

53:20

, music

53:38

, music

53:46

, music .