0:00

So now how do we deal with rejection?

0:02

Now I'm going to read a scripture. Everybody's

0:04

going to, your eyebrows are going to probably

0:06

go up. You're going to go, what? Don't

0:08

turn this off until you hear what I

0:10

say. Welcome

0:17

to conversations with John and Lisa

0:19

Bevere. And I'm super excited. I

0:21

am too. I just, I think

0:23

this is an important topic.

0:25

We've already talked on part one, so

0:27

we're going to dive into part two,

0:30

but listen, we want you to know

0:32

we love it when you join us,

0:34

John, I've had so many people on

0:36

my social media talk about how much

0:38

this episode ministered to them. And

0:40

here's the thing. If you

0:42

subscribe, you can rate review and

0:44

we might just read your comments.

0:46

Okay. This is possibly my favorite, which is

0:48

why I really wanted to host today. Okay.

0:51

This is from justice. Baldo Vino's.

0:53

I think that's an Italian. It's Italian

0:55

or Spanish. He says so good. The

0:58

last episode. And he said, signed

1:00

your spiritually starving was so amazing.

1:03

I'm 14 years old and

1:05

I have listened to it four

1:07

times already. Your

1:10

tea, your tea just went

1:12

off. Okay. So everybody, Lisa just

1:14

punched me because this is,

1:16

this is why right before

1:19

we started this episode, I had my

1:22

hand while looking at my notes and

1:24

knocked over an entire cup of freshly

1:26

brewed tea. Hot. I felt absolutely

1:29

terrible. I mean, it literally baptized Lisa.

1:31

She had to change outfits. And then

1:33

I went back to make another pot

1:35

of tea and that's the beep beep

1:37

beep. You just heard. Which is

1:39

why I punched him. So here, so it was the baptism

1:41

of tea. Honey, let's talk about

1:44

justice. I'm more interested in justice right

1:46

now than my blunders. Okay. So

1:49

good. Last episode signed you are spiritually starving.

1:51

That was the name of the episode was

1:53

so amazing. I'm 14. I've

1:55

listened to it four times already.

1:57

I can't wait for the next episode. Just

2:00

for you, Justice. I can't even

2:02

tell you how happy it makes

2:04

up for my husband dumping hot

2:06

tea on me. You have

2:08

made my day. Way to go. You

2:10

saved me. We're doing part two on rejection. Yes.

2:14

So let's do a quick review on part one. The

2:16

recap. So the common ways, Lisa, we can

2:18

experience rejection, number one in relationships. And there's

2:21

all kinds of ways. Betrayals, backups, divorce, ghosting,

2:23

neglect. We could go on

2:25

and on. Ghosting is? Yes, it's crickets.

2:27

And so that means they

2:29

go silent, honey. Very well. Okay, thank you.

2:32

Job and career. Okay. We

2:34

overlook for a promotion, dismissed from a job,

2:37

not chosen for a position. Social

2:39

situations, rejection can occur by not

2:42

being invited to something. Yes. Excluded,

2:44

not being picked. Can I say this? This

2:46

happens a lot. People have traveling ministries. People

2:48

forget about it. Social media. I don't like

2:51

it. Social media, negative comments and strife, cancel

2:53

culture, all of that. What cancel culture? That

2:55

means you get canceled if I don't agree

2:58

with what you said. Instead

3:00

of... It's extremely aggressive. Yes, it

3:02

is. Extremely aggressive. Sales and business,

3:04

like in the refusal of a

3:07

product or your service. Racism,

3:09

mistreatment as a result of skin color. Unbelievable.

3:11

When we are spirits and have souls and

3:14

live in a body. It's like saying, you

3:16

got a blue house, I got a red

3:18

house, I don't like you. It's ridiculous. Can

3:20

I tell you something that was really beautiful that

3:22

happened to me this week? Yes. We

3:25

had hosted an event and

3:28

at the end of it, John, they were so tired. I

3:30

went into the swimming pool for the first time. We'd been

3:33

there for like six, seven days or whatever.

3:35

I went into the swimming pool and there was

3:37

a group of three black women

3:39

in the swimming pool. You

3:41

could tell they were friends, they were laughing, they

3:43

were talking. I was by myself, but I needed

3:45

to walk over to the exit where they were

3:47

near. One of the women made

3:50

eye contact with me and she smiled and I

3:52

smiled back at her. She

3:55

got up and we started talking with one another.

3:58

She looked at me. You know, I

4:00

just shared with my heart about the mothers rising

4:02

up fighting for the children and she looked at

4:05

me John And just out of

4:07

the blue. She doesn't know me from Adam She

4:09

looked at me and she said I

4:12

love you. That's beautiful Can I just

4:14

tell you it did something in me

4:17

because I feel like there's been so

4:19

much racial tension That

4:21

in the last few years for that

4:23

woman to actually reach out and say

4:25

I love you when she doesn't even

4:27

know me It was like a healing

4:29

balm and I just want to challenge

4:31

people out there if I

4:33

feel that way You know because it feels

4:35

like we live in a culture where everybody

4:38

feels guilty or shamed about something before

4:40

they even Connect with somebody

4:42

else. I'm just gonna challenge you. Maybe you need

4:44

to look at somebody I mean, I took away

4:46

that lesson. I thought I'm going to be intentional

4:49

about not just Making eye

4:51

contact, you know for me it reminds

4:53

me a couple years ago I was walking

4:55

into Hyde Park in London, England and

4:58

as I was walking in Islamic

5:00

lady was walking out she had the Lady,

5:03

yeah Muslim lady She had the whole head covering

5:05

on and her head was down and she had

5:07

this sad sad look and I I looked

5:10

at her When I was about five paces away and

5:12

I said good morning And she looked up and she

5:14

saw my eyes right into her eyes and

5:16

at first she was shocked and then a smile

5:19

came on her face Great

5:21

if we started surprising people with kindness. Yes Okay,

5:25

so John after people who are rejected here

5:27

are some of the common responses first of

5:29

all anger and offense the

5:31

fate of Satan Yeah, when people

5:33

feel rejected they reject. Yeah

5:36

when people feel judged Yeah,

5:43

you're my problem you stop this

5:45

you're and they just turn turn

5:48

against other people Yeah, that's really

5:50

good. And then we've got some other ones here

5:52

shame and embarrassment Yeah, was was

5:54

there anything embarrassing for you in high school? I

5:56

kind of feel like you were just like a

5:59

little athlete and a little science math

6:01

nerd and no everybody experiences

6:03

embarrassment and shame in high school the

6:05

question is what are you going to

6:07

do with it and that's why we're

6:09

having this program. Can you tell me

6:11

one incident of human embarrassment? Oh people

6:13

called me helmet hair like

6:15

I did I know they call me blow dryer

6:18

boy and you know because I I I you

6:20

were a little obsessive I was a little obsessive

6:22

of my hair but I wouldn't you know anyway

6:24

but that's not really mean that was just like

6:27

they probably were jealous. It was a

6:29

lot worse things but yeah okay okay all

6:31

right I'd have to dig to get it

6:33

but okay well you know you know

6:36

I was freaked out you know they

6:38

called me cyclops one eye and we

6:40

might have anything that kind of stuff

6:42

which I would actually be proud of

6:44

mafia mother probably right now but now

6:47

yeah I didn't know okay

6:49

self-doubt right people have constant

6:51

rejection they begin to think

6:53

they're worthy of it yeah we're like maybe

6:55

there's something wrong with me response right

6:57

and here's the thing you know one of the things I love

7:00

is when God calls you to

7:02

begin this is what God told us I've

7:04

called you to begin not just belong when

7:06

God calls you to begin something

7:08

there's often rejection at first because it's never been

7:10

done before you're the first person to do it

7:12

so people are like we don't believe in that

7:15

we don't think you should do that isolation is

7:17

a big one that's a response and I mean

7:19

Cain did this to avoid from the virus says

7:21

when he disobeyed God and he brought that offering

7:23

of the fruit of his hands the

7:25

Bible says the Lord rejected Cain and his

7:27

offering right but he said hey if you

7:29

just obey me you'll be just like your

7:32

brother well he's ended up going to the

7:34

isolation and he says his brother well

7:36

yep he kills his brother and then becomes a

7:39

fugitive and a vagabond yeah so that's

7:41

what happens a lot of times when

7:43

we experience rejection will become a Cain

7:45

who becomes a vagabond

7:47

and a wanderer we're wandering from safe

7:49

place what we think is safe place

7:52

to safe place and

7:54

then yeah I'll self want and you know

7:56

I think with this one's worth talking about a little

7:58

bit there's it is the projected and

8:00

then the protected self. People

8:02

will project the one that they

8:05

think people will love and interact

8:07

with and social media has really,

8:09

really caused an upswing in this

8:11

projected self. And

8:13

so we need to have an awareness. Lisa,

8:16

that's what Ananias and Safire did.

8:18

They wanted to project something that

8:20

they weren't doing. They were saying we

8:22

are sacrificing everything we sold, we're giving

8:24

it, and they were projecting

8:27

a false image. They did it in

8:29

the presence of the glory of God,

8:31

and then they were immediately judged. Well,

8:33

it's interesting that you would say that, because

8:35

there's three things that make ourselves an enemy

8:37

of God. And I love how the message

8:40

paraphrase, or the message translation addresses it. It

8:42

says, of course, we know it's the

8:44

lust of the idol, lust of the flesh, the pride of life. And

8:47

the message says the pride

8:49

of life is wanting to appear important

8:51

in the eyes of others. And

8:53

so they did everything. They really casually

8:56

said, make us the enemy of

8:58

God. And yet the

9:00

New Testament says it. Right. Well,

9:02

I just was trying to recap. It's

9:04

amazing. I mean, James talks about if

9:07

you love the world, you make yourself

9:09

an enemy of God. And so

9:11

I don't think any person listening

9:13

to this podcast would ever want to

9:15

make themselves an enemy of God. But

9:18

that's our choice, not his. Well, it doesn't

9:20

say if you love the world. It says,

9:22

basically, friendship with the world. And I think

9:24

we need to have a clarity. We're supposed

9:26

to love people that are lost.

9:28

So that's not what John and

9:30

I were talking about. But there's a difference between

9:32

being a friend with the world and

9:35

a friend to the world. So if you're

9:37

a friend with the world, you pursue what the

9:39

world pursues. But if you're a friend to the

9:41

world, then you have an under. You live to

9:43

be accepted by the world, right? No, only

9:45

if you're a friend with. If you're a

9:47

friend with the world, you're living to be

9:50

accepted by the world. But

9:52

I was saying for your friend to the world. So

9:54

the difference would be understanding

9:56

that the world is

9:58

lost and hurting. So

10:00

a friend to the world is bedside, but a friend

10:02

with the world is in bed with. Oh, Lisa,

10:04

that's so good. There's the difference. So we

10:07

want to be bedside, not in bed

10:09

with. We're not going to be in

10:11

partnership with what they're pursuing. We're

10:13

going to be outside of it

10:15

understanding that those things are going to end

10:17

up making them feel a void in their

10:19

life. Okay, so now how do we

10:21

deal with rejection? Now I'm going to read a

10:23

scripture. Everybody's going to... Your eyebrows are going to

10:26

probably go up. You're going to go, what? Don't

10:28

turn this off until you hear what I say.

10:31

Matthew 10, 14, Jesus said, in

10:33

whoever will not receive and accept

10:35

and welcome you nor listen to

10:38

your message as you leave the

10:40

town or the house,

10:42

shake the dust of it

10:44

from your feet. So

10:46

here's the instruction. Shake

10:48

it off. Yeah, the rejection. Shake

10:51

it off. Don't carry it. If

10:53

you carry it, you're going to

10:55

now start having behavior that's going

10:57

to be reactive instead of proactive.

11:00

Yeah, and I want again, I think

11:02

some people would be really excited about thinking,

11:04

I'm shaking this off and I'm cursing. We're

11:06

not saying that. We're saying

11:09

don't carry it forward. We're

11:11

saying let go of it. Absolutely. So

11:13

Jesus is saying, hey, that rejection, don't

11:16

carry it in the next town because

11:18

then you go into this defensive posture.

11:20

And now I'm already acting like they're

11:22

going to reject me. And then you'll behave in a

11:24

way they do. Yes. You'll actually

11:26

invite it. So when you

11:29

have a rejection complex, please

11:31

remember you invite rejection. And

11:35

so Jesus gave his disciples one

11:37

clear directive and that is shake

11:39

it off. In

11:42

Luke 10, 16, Jesus says, he

11:44

who hears you hears me and

11:46

he who rejects you rejects

11:49

me and he who rejects

11:51

me rejects the father who

11:53

sent me. A lot of rejects.

11:55

Jesus absolutely was

11:58

rejected. And if you're ever experiencing

12:00

this please remember Jesus

12:02

is easily touched with the feeling of

12:04

your affirmities because he was despised and

12:06

rejected by man Isaiah 53 verse 3

12:09

he was rejected

12:11

by Israel his people that's John

12:13

1 11 right he was rejected

12:15

as brothers that's John's

12:17

that's his half brothers John 7 verse

12:19

5 he was rejected by

12:22

his team Peter denies Jesus I

12:24

mean I love the voice changing

12:26

not only does Peter

12:28

deny Jesus but all but

12:31

John flee for their lives

12:33

in his hour of greatest

12:36

need yeah the only the only

12:38

people that stayed which I'm just gonna have to call it

12:40

out with the women that's right the

12:42

women I'll one out for the women right

12:44

there so rejection is a

12:46

part and a parcel of God's

12:49

calling so what you're saying to

12:51

everybody is if they're experiencing rejection

12:53

people unfollowing them on social media

12:55

people that they thought they

12:57

had a relationship with cutting them off that

12:59

actually they can bring that to Jesus people

13:01

leaving your Bible study your home group people leaving

13:04

your church people saying

13:06

hey I'm not choosing you to be a part of

13:08

our team you know I'm hearing so

13:10

many of it and I'm hearing so many parents

13:12

right now who are going through a season with

13:14

their children where their children have rejected

13:16

what they've been raised in all of

13:18

their life and I just want to say as a word

13:21

of comfort to the parents out there this

13:23

is not the end of the story yes you can

13:25

reject something on one season but just

13:27

always keep that door open for the

13:29

next season the father had two sons

13:31

and one was a prodigal talk about

13:33

rejection your son just goes away give

13:35

me what and violates everything you raised

13:38

him to do but the

13:40

story wasn't over it came to

13:42

a senses and I know we have this promise

13:44

Lisa that if we raise a

13:46

child in the way that they should

13:48

go when they are old they'll not

13:50

depart from it right and so we

13:52

have that promise we've got so much

13:54

rejection in the Bible got Joseph rejected

13:56

by his own brothers we got King

13:58

David who is rejected rejected by his

14:00

father. Think of it. His father brings his

14:03

seven brothers out and doesn't even think about

14:05

bringing David out. God doesn't tell the prophet,

14:07

uh-uh, it's none of these guys, right? So

14:10

we've got, it looks like we have an

14:12

abundance of examples. Yeah. What do

14:14

they do? How do you move forward from a place of

14:16

feeling rejected, feeling wounded,

14:19

feeling like an outcast? How do they begin to

14:21

move into a place of healing and strength? Well,

14:24

we've got several ideas,

14:26

thoughts to share.

14:28

Number one, receive God's love and

14:31

acceptance first before seeking

14:33

love and acceptance from others.

14:37

I believe that when you truly understand

14:39

how valuable you are to God and

14:41

just meditating, I mean, it's like Jesus,

14:44

Jesus was given to pay

14:48

the price for us to be purchased back

14:50

to God. What a price that he

14:52

paid. What a price. You

14:54

were accepted by God, and

14:57

he did it long before you accepted him. Yeah,

14:59

and, you know, I want to just kind of

15:01

emphasize, it's not just resect, accept it. It's

15:04

adopted, and it is loved.

15:07

I mean, God isn't like, oh, I'm going to

15:09

tolerate them because Jesus died for them. He

15:12

sent his son because he loves us.

15:14

So first you would say,

15:16

receive God's love and acceptance. Yeah,

15:18

I feel to say this, you're sitting

15:20

there and you're thinking, how valuable am

15:23

I? You're worth your

15:25

value. I mean, Jesus said, if you give

15:27

up your soul to gain the entire world,

15:29

so if everybody in the world loves you

15:31

and you get all the valuables and all

15:33

the resources, you've made a non-profitable

15:35

deal because you're more valuable than the wealth of

15:37

the whole world or the acceptance of the whole

15:39

world. What is your value? The

15:42

price of Jesus Christ. That's why

15:44

the Bible says God bought you

15:47

at a high price. The

15:50

redemption of your soul, the Bible says, is costly.

15:54

It can't be purchased by any human

15:56

being or anything this world has, but

15:59

yet God... purchased your soul. We're

16:01

talking to you right now. I just feel

16:03

like there's somebody listening right now. I feel

16:05

it by the Spirit of God. You

16:08

absolutely feel at the lowest point

16:10

you've ever been. You've even contemplated

16:12

taking your life. I feel

16:14

this so strongly right now. You

16:16

are so valuable that God paid the price

16:19

to go through all the gruesome agony, shed

16:21

every drop of his blood so that you

16:23

could be his. You

16:26

are accepted and speak to these lies.

16:28

I speak to these lies of the

16:30

enemy that is telling this

16:32

person, you're worthless. You are of

16:34

no value. I break those words

16:37

off of them. My brother,

16:39

my sister in the name of Jesus, even

16:41

if those words were spoken by a mother,

16:43

a father, if they were spoken by a

16:45

spouse, a close friend, I break in the

16:47

name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. We

16:49

break those words off of you

16:51

and we set you free and

16:53

you are accepted in the beloved.

16:56

You are accepted by Him

16:59

who lives in eternity and

17:01

who holds eternity in His

17:03

possession. Boy, okay.

17:06

Sorry, I just felt down. Listen,

17:08

I want anybody out there listening to

17:10

this to understand that was a message

17:12

for you. And a lot of times,

17:14

I hope you heard what John said

17:17

about maybe a parent said, I

17:19

wish I never would have had you or you know, you've

17:22

ruined my life or whatever it is.

17:25

God always had you in His heart. God

17:27

always had a plan and so we need

17:29

to stop self rejection. We need to stop

17:31

thinking, well, you know, God might love me

17:34

but I hate myself or I'm rejecting myself

17:36

and John, we have a lot of people

17:38

out there right now that reject

17:40

themselves. Yes. And you know, I know for

17:42

me, there was a season of my life

17:44

where I felt like every single day was

17:46

just a failure. I was a young mom, you

17:49

know, every single day I had a list of all

17:51

the things I didn't do right. And I felt like

17:53

God was just getting ready to like say,

17:55

all right, that's it. You're just never gonna make it.

17:57

Or if I confessed it like, oh, I shouldn't have

17:59

yelled. or I should have done this,

18:01

I felt like I couldn't receive forgiveness

18:04

because I had to punish myself. And

18:07

you know, rejecting yourself, self-punishment,

18:09

that's just ridiculous. When Jesus

18:11

already paid the price, we

18:14

don't make ourselves our own sacrifice.

18:16

So accept yourself in the beloved

18:18

and then heal from the root

18:20

of rejection. So there's roots of

18:22

rejection. And here's what I love.

18:25

Maybe as John was praying, you just felt

18:27

a quickening, just a quickening. I'm

18:29

going to ask you to sit with the Holy Spirit

18:32

and say, is there a pattern in my

18:34

life where

18:36

there's been a root of rejection? Because

18:39

it can be shocking how little things

18:41

can come in and plant

18:43

a seed of rejection through

18:46

school, through childhood, through friends, or

18:48

whatever it is. And I'm going

18:50

to tell you, God wants to

18:52

heal that because when that rejection

18:54

thing is in there, the enemy

18:56

puts lies in that wounding. And

18:59

God wants to bring healing

19:01

because not only does

19:03

He want to actually have you receive

19:05

His love, He wants

19:07

you to be a vehicle of His life. And I feel

19:09

to say this so strongly right now. The

19:12

Bible says that the weapons of

19:14

our warfare, they're not fleshly, but they're mighty

19:17

in God to the pulling down of strongholds.

19:19

What are these strongholds? It

19:21

says, casting down every imagination or the Bible

19:23

says reasoning. And every high thing that exalts

19:25

itself against the knowledge of God. Now we've

19:27

given you the knowledge of God. The

19:30

knowledge of God is that God paid a very

19:32

high price for you. God accepts you. So

19:34

who in the world can tell you

19:37

that you're rejected? What happens

19:39

is these words, they're like

19:41

bricks and they build strongholds in our soul.

19:44

So this is what the Lord's, I'm telling you, I

19:46

believe the Spirit of God is telling me to tell

19:48

you this. Every

19:50

time you hear something, you feel

19:52

something. Let's even go there. You

19:55

feel something. Chances are

19:57

you are feeling you're worthless

19:59

because... with

22:01

His loving kindness. I love it, Lisa. Okay,

22:03

so there's been like a lot. I mean,

22:05

I love that you just did the little

22:07

slip into the prayer time. Well, anyway, I

22:09

want to thank you for tuning in. I

22:11

really, we love it if you rate, review,

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subscribe. It really helps us get the show

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out there. And we love it when you

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post on your social media with the link,

22:20

that's really helpful. And if you haven't already,

22:22

please, please, please download Messenger X. John, I

22:24

am hearing everywhere I go, so many people

22:27

are finding freedom and truth

22:29

and stability and tools to

22:31

lead home groups through Messenger

22:33

X. And if you

22:35

haven't already, a lot of people already have.

22:38

Check out our other podcasts. We have At

22:40

Home with the Beveres. More

22:42

new ones are coming in 2024. We got

22:44

some prizes. Yep, we do. So

22:47

until next time, this has been Conversations with

22:49

John and Lisa. We

22:51

hope you enjoyed this episode of Conversations

22:54

with John and Lisa Bevere. If you

22:56

haven't already, make sure you subscribe and

22:58

rate this podcast wherever you love to

23:00

listen. Also, if you haven't already, go

23:02

right ahead and download Messenger X to

23:04

hear more content from John and Lisa

23:06

Bevere and other great messengers. Again, thank

23:08

you so much for joining us and

23:10

we'll see you next time on Conversations

23:12

with John and Lisa.