Episode Transcript
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0:05
Welcome. To the Crazy Love Podcast
0:07
Have you ever thought about how
0:09
your lifestyle reflects your values today?
0:12
In part to of last week's
0:14
message francis and least a chance
0:16
Share with the scriptures, teach on
0:19
marriage and purity, stressing the importance
0:21
of living a life that honors
0:23
God. They also remind us of
0:26
the power of repentance, the promise
0:28
of forgiveness, and a fresh start.
0:36
First Corinthians, Six. He
0:39
says. Food.
0:43
Is meant for the still make and stomach
0:45
for food and God will destroy both on
0:47
one in the other. The
0:49
body is not meant for
0:52
sexual immorality, but for the
0:54
Lord and the Lord. For
0:57
the body and God rays
0:59
the lord and will also
1:02
raised by his power. Do
1:04
you not know that your
1:06
bodies are members of Christ?
1:09
Satellite then take the members
1:11
of Christ and make them
1:14
members of a prostitute. Never
1:16
or do you not know
1:18
that. He who is joining
1:21
do a prostitute becomes one
1:23
body with her for as
1:26
it is written the to
1:28
will become one flesh but
1:31
huge joy into the lord
1:33
becomes one spirit with him.
1:36
Flee from sexual immorality. Every
1:38
other sin a person commits
1:40
is outside the body but
1:43
the sexually immoral person sins
1:45
against his own body. Or.
1:48
Do you not know that your
1:50
body is a temple of the
1:52
Holy Spirit with in you who
1:54
you have from God you are
1:56
not your own. You were bought
1:58
with a price. So glorify
2:01
God in your body. He
2:05
explains that every other sin
2:07
you commit is outside of
2:10
your body. Okay,
2:12
so I get it. Yes, the Bible teaches
2:14
if you're guilty of one sin, you are
2:16
guilty of all of them. That is biblical.
2:19
But it is also biblical
2:21
what he says here. That
2:24
the other sins you commit are
2:26
outside of your body. And there
2:28
is something different about having sex
2:30
outside of marriage. He says because
2:32
you're sinning against your own body.
2:35
And it's a very graphic picture. He
2:37
goes, don't you know, like Ephesians 5,
2:40
one of the beautiful things is he
2:42
says that I am a
2:44
member of the body of Christ. See,
2:47
we say that like no big deal. Yeah, I'm a
2:49
member of the body of Christ. Think about what that
2:52
means. He says he nourishes
2:54
and cherishes it just like you would
2:56
a part of your body. Like
2:59
right now I have this pain in
3:01
my bicep. I can't lift things because
3:03
I have like this torn something. I
3:05
don't understand the body, but you
3:07
know, but my whole body is like,
3:09
oh, it's really bothering me. Like I
3:12
can't lift things with my left arm.
3:15
And so I care for it.
3:17
I rub it. It's a part.
3:19
It's attached. And the Bible says
3:21
that I am
3:24
attached to Christ. Are
3:27
you kidding me right now? The
3:29
God of the universe. That
3:32
he looks at me like I look at
3:34
my own arm. And
3:36
he says, Francis, you're a member of me.
3:40
And that's why Paul says in Corinthians,
3:42
he goes, so I'm going to take
3:44
a member of Christ. So
3:47
you being attached to
3:49
Jesus, you dare
3:53
sleep with someone who
3:55
is not Your
3:57
spouse. The.
4:01
His is your as has
4:03
to Jesus. That means when
4:05
you go into a bad
4:08
with that for you're bringing
4:10
sees his with you. He
4:13
says you're it's helpful of
4:15
the holy spirit now you're
4:17
forcing sees us is Sue
4:19
or Jr and said he
4:21
wants no part of. It's
4:25
it's it's it's a really ugly
4:27
six or of your you're in
4:29
of says rape mean god, you're
4:32
forcing him into a sexual relationship.
4:34
He was nothing no part of
4:36
I know the world's his own.
4:38
You're in love with so beautiful,
4:40
Know God and disgusted Myers and
4:42
he says you're going take me
4:45
and force me into a union
4:47
with this man or this woman
4:49
That would nothing I have. Used
4:52
as disgusting. How
4:54
dare you do that? To.
4:57
Me: And
4:59
then you're going to walk into a
5:01
church gathering and sing to him. That
5:06
is just disgusting. And
5:09
if that is you. Meant.
5:12
Don't Combat. Not.
5:16
So you repent. Turn.
5:18
Away from that. I
5:22
figure that's as it is. It hurts the
5:24
church. But.
5:27
Man, I hope some guys who are
5:29
you're really strong on this because the
5:31
Lord is very strong and this is
5:33
so system into him. I
5:37
mean he's gonna understand to for
5:39
some of you guys. Like.
5:42
If you dare take one of
5:45
his daughters. Okay,
5:49
And you sleep with
5:51
one of can I
5:53
have five daughters. I.
5:56
Have five daughters. Would.
5:59
any you think to
6:02
sleep with one of my daughters
6:05
outside of marriage and then come
6:07
to my house and
6:11
try to be my buddy? Are you
6:15
kidding me? You
6:17
slept with one of my daughter... are
6:19
you kidding me right now? You
6:23
dare sleep with one of my
6:25
girls and think that we'll just
6:27
be friends. That's
6:30
me as a human being. I
6:32
would tear you up. And
6:36
so imagine God who
6:38
holy holy holy holy
6:40
God who
6:43
loves his daughters even more
6:45
than that and
6:47
you are going to defile one of
6:49
them and then pray to him? You're
6:53
insane. That
6:55
is so evil, so
6:58
wicked. And I
7:04
will say though, there's
7:08
forgiveness for that.
7:10
Okay? But
7:13
you need to repent. You
7:15
need to walk away from that. You need
7:18
to confess that the Lord... the
7:20
crazy thing is the Lord will forgive
7:22
you probably
7:25
better than I would.
7:27
Okay? But he
7:30
will also punish a lot worse
7:32
than I would. And
7:35
I'm just telling you please for
7:37
your sake and for the sake of
7:39
his church and for his bride, I'm
7:42
tired of hearing about
7:45
people in ministry and
7:47
people in these churches. They're living
7:49
the same way that they do out in the
7:51
world. It's ugly. It's ugly.
7:55
Some of the decisions we made early
7:58
on... I
8:01
was a virgin when I got married at
8:03
26 because
8:06
I became a Christian pretty early on in
8:08
my teen years and Realized
8:10
man, and I'm not saying I
8:12
was perfect in any way man. I
8:14
was like every other guy the temptation everything
8:17
else But at
8:19
least kept that part for marriage Lisa
8:23
same thing I Maintained
8:27
herself kept herself. We made it
8:29
we made decisions early on Out
8:32
of our walk with the Lord so that
8:34
when I put that ring on her finger
8:36
She could know that look I
8:38
saved myself for you And
8:40
so that's why when I'm gone traveling or
8:43
whatever She knows she can trust me because
8:45
you know what I showed her that and
8:47
even when we were engaged in all the
8:50
passion There and everything else. It's like no
8:52
I'm gonna show self control you
8:55
know and Because
8:57
I wanted to know that I'm a man of self control
9:01
And you can trust me when I put that ring on
9:03
your finger, and I say there will be no other I
9:06
meant that and the same
9:08
vice versa These are
9:10
the decisions you make at
9:12
a young age and They
9:15
continue on and that's why
9:17
you can say when you're 50 years old man
9:20
It's been good, and you can
9:22
say after 25 years of marriage This
9:24
is insanely good Everything
9:27
has been so good. You know
9:34
But it's decisions you make today,
9:36
and it's true I understand
9:38
in a group the size many
9:40
of you have already made those mistakes But
9:43
I'm telling you there's forgiveness and
9:45
not only that But
9:48
there's redemption because maybe
9:50
you maybe you're single
9:52
here And you've already committed
9:54
this this disgusting act with
9:56
someone else and But
10:00
maybe you hear this message and
10:02
you realize how disgusting it is
10:04
in God's eyes and you actually
10:07
repent. What
10:09
a beautiful thing to be able to say
10:11
on your wedding day to your
10:13
spouse, look, I heard this message and
10:15
I heard the word of God and
10:17
I was so convicted about my life
10:19
that I turned it around and I
10:21
kept myself pure from this day on.
10:24
And to be able to give that gift
10:26
and to show that that's really the Holy
10:28
Spirit in your life, changing the way you
10:30
think and changing the way that you live.
10:33
And I hope
10:35
that's true. I hope that will happen to
10:37
some of you today. But I had to throw
10:39
that out there because I was just stirring in me
10:42
that I'm just going, you know what, we
10:44
can talk about this relationship with God
10:46
and everything else. But let's
10:48
just cut to the chase. You
10:52
can't have a relationship with Him and
10:54
continue in that type of immorality
10:56
just like you cannot rape
10:58
one of my daughters and expect
11:01
to have a relationship with me. It's
11:03
just not going to happen. You've
11:06
got to pick. You've got to choose. Yeah,
11:11
the verse that comes to mind is, set
11:14
your mind on things above,
11:16
not on
11:19
things of this world. And
11:22
husbands, if
11:25
you're listening, you
11:27
want to know the most wonderful thing you
11:29
can do for your wife? It's
11:33
to set your mind on
11:36
things above and
11:39
to set the tone of your home
11:42
on things above, not
11:45
the things of this world. I
11:48
tell Francis very regularly that
11:51
that is the thing I am most grateful
11:53
for. That
11:55
he is a man who has led
11:58
me and our children. towards
12:01
the things above. You
12:04
know, where is your treasure? Is your
12:07
treasure here? Because
12:09
wherever your treasure is, that's where your heart
12:11
is going to be. So
12:14
if your treasure is here on earth, if this
12:16
is what you're living for, then
12:19
by all means you're going to do what thou
12:21
wilt. You're just
12:23
going to do what you want. And
12:26
there's going to be a lot of pain
12:28
and sin and ugliness that comes from that.
12:32
But if you set your mind on
12:34
things above, and you
12:36
store up for yourselves treasures in
12:38
Heaven, where nothing
12:40
can destroy it or touch
12:43
it or take it away,
12:46
there's so many times when Francis will
12:48
sit the kids and I down and
12:51
he'll think, this is the decision that we're
12:54
making, because we're
12:56
not ever going to regret this in light
12:58
of eternity, in
13:00
light of what's coming. We're
13:03
not going to live for this world. And
13:05
he just sets that tone over and
13:08
over and over again. So I just
13:10
want to say to you, husbands, step
13:13
it up and
13:15
set the standard in your home and
13:19
say we've got to remember why we're here
13:21
and who we are here for. It's
13:23
the whole heart behind why we wrote
13:26
the book even. It's
13:30
like we've got to get people thinking, you
13:32
know what, marriage, nothing is for you. It's
13:34
not about you. You need
13:37
to hear that all the time because I do. I
13:40
think about myself way too much.
13:44
And I'm just willing to bet that you're
13:46
probably just like me. You
13:49
think of you more often than anyone else.
13:52
What do I want? What do I need? What
13:55
do I want to get?
13:58
Where do I want to go? It's
14:00
always me, me, me. So
14:03
even in marriage, even in singleness with deciding,
14:05
well, I want this and I want that.
14:07
God, what do you want? God,
14:09
do you want me to be single? Well,
14:13
then the verse that came to me, the
14:15
first one for you guys last night was Colossians
14:17
3, verse 17. It
14:23
says, whatever you do in word or
14:25
deed, do all in the name of
14:27
the Lord Jesus, giving thanks
14:29
through Him to God the Father. And
14:33
I'm like, well, that's kind of a weird verse,
14:35
Lord, but not really. Whatever
14:39
you do, you mean even
14:41
marriage? Have you guys, when
14:43
is the last time you considered, you
14:47
know what, this marriage, I'm doing this in the
14:49
name of the Lord Jesus. Whatever you do in
14:51
word or deed, do it all in the name
14:53
of the Lord Jesus. And
14:55
a little bit further down in verse 23,
14:59
rewords it a little bit. It says,
15:01
whatever you do, do your
15:03
work heartily as for the Lord
15:05
rather than for men. Here
15:09
he's talking about your work, because he literally
15:11
was talking about slaves in verse 22. Obey
15:14
those who are your masters on earth, not
15:17
with external service as those
15:19
who merely please men, but
15:22
with sincerity of heart, fearing
15:25
the Lord. He's
15:28
just bringing it down into every part of
15:30
your life. You
15:33
could go to your job and you've
15:35
got the worst boss ever and you
15:37
hate your job, but you choose to
15:40
do it as unto the Lord, because
15:42
that's what we're called to as believers.
15:44
It doesn't matter what earthly things you
15:47
see or are involved in, your circumstances
15:49
are not what define you. You
15:51
do your work as unto the Lord
15:54
because you fear God. And
15:56
in the same way in marriage, it's like we just
15:58
need a... new
16:00
perspective, we just need a mind
16:02
shift. Like
16:05
this marriage, I'm so about myself in
16:07
this marriage, all I'm thinking about is
16:09
what I need and what I want
16:11
and what I wish he or she
16:13
was like or what he or she
16:15
would do for me. And
16:17
you're not thinking this
16:19
marriage is for Christ.
16:23
I want to work in my
16:25
marriage as unto the Lord.
16:28
And that changes your whole motivation.
16:31
You guys, Francis will not always motivate
16:33
me to do what is right. Sometimes
16:36
he does because he's a
16:38
pretty good husband. But
16:41
what about when you have a husband who's not so
16:43
great? Do you get
16:45
like the get out of jail free card that you
16:47
don't have to be? A loving
16:49
wife or a loving
16:51
husband? God
16:55
calls us to something deeper
16:59
and greater as believers. No, do
17:01
everything as unto the Lord. So
17:04
the first thing you have to do in your marriage
17:06
is remember that it is not about you. It
17:09
is about Christ and it is for Christ.
17:12
And if you look in Colossians 3 starting in verse
17:14
12, it just gives
17:16
this beautiful passage that I think you
17:18
can just so take to heart as
17:20
a preaching for all of us, but
17:22
especially for Mary. So
17:25
as those who have been
17:27
chosen of God, holy and
17:29
beloved. See,
17:31
it starts with your identity always. You
17:37
are someone who has been chosen of
17:39
God and you are holy and beloved.
17:42
Remember your source, your cup. You're
17:45
already holy and beloved and you
17:47
are a child of God. Then
17:52
he goes to what you do. Then out
17:54
of that, put on a heart
17:57
of compassion. kindness,
18:02
humility, gentleness,
18:05
and patience, bearing
18:07
with one another and forgiving
18:10
each other. Whoever
18:12
has a complaint against
18:14
anyone, just as the Lord
18:17
forgave you, so also
18:19
should you. When
18:22
is the last time it was in your
18:24
heart to say when someone offended you, God
18:26
give me the grace of forgiveness as
18:28
you have forgiven me. That's
18:32
the most amazing forgiveness
18:34
of all because
18:36
we deserve none of
18:38
his forgiveness. He's
18:42
perfectly holy and he has
18:44
never offended us and
18:46
we offend him over and over again
18:49
and his forgiveness is
18:51
there and it's real and he
18:53
says forgive as I
18:55
have forgiven you. That
19:00
is a word for you guys to
19:02
take to heart because there is another
19:04
passage in Scripture that says if you
19:06
do not forgive I will
19:09
not forgive you. God
19:12
is very serious about this and listen
19:15
if you are going to enter into
19:17
a marriage relationship you will need to
19:20
forgive. You
19:22
cannot be in a relationship with
19:24
any other person for any length
19:26
of time and not need forgiveness.
19:28
Can I hear anyone say amen?
19:30
I don't
19:33
care if it's your child, your sister, your
19:35
mother, your brother, man we
19:38
offend one another. We are sinful
19:41
people and we
19:43
just want to be this fountain
19:45
of forgiveness and grace to offer
19:47
to people I forgive you yes
19:50
I will forgive you and to
19:52
pray and ask God for the ability
19:54
to forgive when we don't feel it
19:58
but man if you could just take maybe
20:02
on your own you can ask yourself, you
20:04
can ask yourself, here's
20:06
where I rate myself in putting
20:09
on a heart of
20:12
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness,
20:15
patience, and that
20:17
forbearing spirit, forgiveness. Where
20:21
are you at with that? We could just sit
20:23
for a good hour and deal
20:26
with some things with the
20:28
Lord, right? And maybe it's
20:30
time to have that conversation. There are
20:33
times in our relationship, I don't know,
20:35
maybe every couple years or during an
20:37
anniversary we'll sit and
20:39
say, hey, if there's one thing I
20:41
could do differently or better, like
20:44
how can I be a better wife or what do you see
20:46
that I need to work on? And
20:50
man, that just like builds
20:53
humility into your life. Because guess what? I
20:55
don't ever want to hear what I'm doing
20:57
wrong or what I need to work on.
21:00
But if I'm asking for it in humility, I'm
21:03
saying, hey, can you tell me where
21:05
do I need to work? What
21:08
am I doing? Have I offended you in any
21:10
way? And
21:13
build that heart of compassion
21:15
and kindness and gentleness, humility,
21:17
which is so precious to
21:19
God and it's so necessary
21:22
for any relationship that we
21:24
are in. When
21:30
she was talking, we're
21:34
hitting a lot of really heavy things.
21:37
And it's kind of like when we're writing the book
21:39
how I was like, wow, this sounds really heavy. And
21:42
there's this other side
21:45
too of just the
21:47
Lord says how He gave us everything
21:49
to enjoy. And I don't
21:53
want you guys to walk away thinking, gosh,
21:55
Francis and Lisa, they probably just at home
21:57
preaching to each other all day. We're
22:00
just like, yeah, this. And
22:03
if you're sleeping with someone, you're going to hell. You
22:06
know, like, it's like
22:09
so much of our marriage
22:11
is just laughter, you
22:14
know, with the kids and enjoying each
22:16
other because it is such a beautiful,
22:19
beautiful thing that God created. And
22:22
even, yeah, I want to apologize. Even like
22:24
a lot of times in
22:26
the church when we come to the area of
22:29
sexual immorality, like we talk about
22:31
that. And yet it's almost like
22:33
we can look at that as
22:36
a negative thing, sex
22:38
itself. And we forget,
22:40
like, there's so many things that are
22:42
distorted in our world that
22:45
Satan is almost taking the glory,
22:48
I take that glory away from
22:50
God when God created something so
22:52
beautiful in marriage. And that's what
22:54
we want for you is like there can
22:57
be so much joy, but
22:59
it comes with repentance.
23:02
And even, you know, just
23:04
be honest, like, like, like,
23:09
sex is
23:11
awesome. You know, like, it's just,
23:13
it's not like that
23:15
was from Satan. It's not like God created
23:17
Adam and Eve. And then he's like, hey,
23:20
what are you doing? Get off her. You
23:22
know, no, it's this
23:24
was his creation. You
23:27
know, it was amazing. You know, he
23:29
says, whether you eat, drink, whatever, you
23:31
do it all for the glory of
23:33
God. We have a God who's so
23:35
creative, so beautiful, so amazing. I mean,
23:38
we're talking about eating earlier. Isn't
23:40
eating just the best, you
23:43
know, like that taste in your mouth.
23:45
I mean, God could have created it
23:48
in such a way that we're like
23:50
the plants and we just suck dirt
23:53
into our feet and like, hmm,
23:55
got energy now. But
23:57
instead, in his. Glory
24:00
he goes no I'm gonna make
24:02
food and you're gonna taste it
24:04
and you're gonna love it And
24:06
it's in the same way You
24:10
know he could have said well we need
24:12
to procreate so I'll have you touch her
24:14
forehead and she'll become pregnant you know But
24:17
no he's like no I got a
24:20
better one okay, and it's that whole
24:22
idea of him you just go cut
24:24
That's amazing. It's a beautiful beautiful thing
24:26
and so in the same way With
24:29
with marriage let's not let
24:31
the enemy Like steal this
24:33
thing if so many young people that
24:35
are dreading and terrified of I don't
24:37
know if I want to get married
24:39
Because you know I know this person's
24:42
relationship and that person's relationship and this
24:44
and this and this and
24:46
in reality This is God's
24:48
creation. It's beautiful It's
24:51
sacred and when you pursue things
24:53
his way it can
24:55
be so amazing I can
24:59
Honestly tell you young people and
25:02
25 years later like I
25:04
desire my wife as
25:07
much as I did in day one and probably
25:10
more so Yeah,
25:12
I'm probably more so I Know
25:15
it's kind of weird talk about here, but I
25:18
go you know what that's the way the Lord designed
25:20
it it'd be this beautiful
25:22
beautiful thing and And
25:25
it's not let the enemy rob us
25:28
of these wonderful families and
25:30
marriages and Pleasure that
25:32
we can find in one another the way
25:34
I met Lisa Was
25:36
I was working at a church and
25:39
she came because she was a singer. She
25:41
still is a singer You don't really lose your voice but
25:46
she came as a guest soloist
25:49
and so I had heard about her and
25:53
She was um she was
25:55
kind of a big deal back then I mean she
25:57
still is now, but I mean like She
26:01
was the former Miss
26:03
Teen California, you know?
26:05
I know, I know. And
26:09
she was like this recording artist
26:11
and everything else. And meanwhile
26:13
I'm like this pastor
26:15
that's losing his hair, you know? And
26:18
I just thought, this girl is definitely
26:20
out of my league. But
26:23
it was one of those like desperate, I'm just going to
26:25
try, I'm going to go for it. But you know, losing
26:28
my hair was traumatic. It was
26:30
like, oh man, I better
26:32
hurry and find someone. My
26:35
mom did say, you know he's going
26:37
to lose his hair, don't you? I
26:40
was like, mom, you're so shallow. Yeah,
26:44
she wasn't thrilled with me. But,
26:48
so that's how we met, is that
26:50
she was singing and I just was
26:52
blown away by her voice and
26:55
her beauty and then, you
26:58
know, that was
27:00
pretty much it. Do you want to know one of the
27:02
most romantic things that he did? It was also
27:04
very spiritual. But it was
27:06
right before we got married. He
27:09
gave me a gift and it was
27:12
a Bible and it had my new
27:14
name on it yet. My
27:16
new name even though we weren't married yet, so it says
27:18
Lisa Chan. And then he inscribed
27:21
on the front, you know,
27:23
just a beautiful letter
27:25
like, this
27:28
is what I want our marriage to be founded
27:30
on. It's all about Christ and it was just
27:32
a beautiful letter. Isn't that so sweet? That was
27:34
such a good gift. This
27:38
is your romantic, I'll tell you that story. That's
27:44
a great question too about purity
27:47
and I want to
27:49
address purity in marriage. We've
27:53
been married for 25 years. I
27:55
have never even been in
27:57
a car alone with another woman.
28:00
woman. I've never been
28:02
in a room alone with another woman.
28:05
Like I just standard
28:08
where I don't even allow myself to
28:10
get into trouble. There's
28:12
just no opportunity for that and
28:15
I think those are some of the decisions you
28:17
have to make early on because you
28:19
go look I just we're
28:22
all tempted in so many ways and so
28:25
even when we were when when we were
28:27
dating you know often it was like hey
28:29
let's just go in groups let's be with
28:31
other people let's never be a I remember
28:34
us I used to have
28:36
an apartment and with with
28:39
three other guys and we're all
28:41
single and we
28:43
just had that open door policy
28:45
like you never bring a girl
28:47
into the room alone and you
28:50
know or you know if you have the door open we're free
28:52
to walk
28:54
in at any time you know and
28:56
so and we would just to check
28:58
on each other you know we'd trip
29:00
and pretend we fall in the room
29:02
oh hey sorry it was just like
29:05
but all of these standards even
29:07
when I was single the
29:10
temptation even like pornography
29:13
or whatever else and there was just
29:15
that struggle of lust and I
29:17
remember even just because I was
29:19
so convicted before the God of wanting
29:21
to keep this temple pure I told
29:23
the Lord okay if if I struggle
29:25
with lust one day then I won't
29:28
eat the next day and
29:31
I'll spend the whole day fasting you know
29:33
and just so that
29:35
all day long I could remember like
29:37
the sin of the day before and
29:39
ask God to cleanse me of that
29:42
and I lost about 15
29:44
pounds that way too but it
29:47
was it was just the
29:51
Bible talks about like disciplining
29:53
yourself you know for the
29:55
sake of godliness and so
29:57
sometimes we set up these standards in
29:59
our lives so that it's like
30:01
because I want to stay pure in
30:04
your eyes. I was
30:06
just thinking our older girls have
30:09
also brought us in on this
30:12
whole process. You know,
30:15
like asking me, Mom, I need you.
30:17
I need to know that you're going to ask
30:19
me what we were doing
30:21
and what our time was like alone
30:23
because their desire is also for purity.
30:25
Our oldest is married, but one
30:29
of our other daughters is dating a guy very seriously
30:31
and they're thinking marriage,
30:33
and so of course the passion is
30:35
there. And even this last
30:37
trip, she just said, Mom, I just want
30:40
to remind you that you need to be
30:42
asking me and that really helps me. And
30:46
so I'm thinking, wow,
30:49
that is such a blessing to have your
30:51
children just say, I
30:53
want to ask you to speak into my
30:55
life here and it will help me if
30:57
I know that you're going to ask. And
30:59
I'm like, girl, I will be asking. So,
31:03
yeah, just so sweet to
31:05
try to go through that journey with
31:07
them, knowing that the struggle is real
31:10
and that they invite me into
31:12
it is really precious. And
31:14
I can pray for them and be talking to
31:16
them about it and it's so good. I
31:20
didn't even know that. That's pretty cool. So
31:22
do that with me. I could
31:26
see that. That'd be weird with that. But
31:32
then I would want to beat them up. OK,
31:36
what was the third? But they also
31:38
make really practical decisions. They're like, we have
31:40
we just have to spend a lot of
31:42
time with other people because if we're alone
31:44
too much, I mean,
31:47
it's very obvious, obviously. That's the
31:49
most significant thing that
31:51
I would say that they both chose to
31:53
do was be with other people
31:56
just knowing that it is so hard, the more
31:58
time you spend alone. And you
32:00
know, also one of our daughters, a different one,
32:04
she was saying the other day, gosh, my
32:06
friend is so like boy crazy. Like it's
32:08
all she can talk about as boys and
32:11
she gets all the affection and everything else.
32:14
And, and I was like, well, honey, you know, I go,
32:17
I'm very affectionate with you. You
32:20
know, maybe too much, you know, like you
32:22
just like, okay, dad, enough, enough. I
32:24
go, but
32:26
not everyone has a dad that loves
32:29
them like this. And
32:31
so let's be careful, you know, with other
32:33
people that sometimes they're more that way because
32:36
there's difficulties in the home and,
32:38
and that they struggle with that. And
32:41
so I want you to know that I, because
32:43
I don't ever want you to
32:45
feel unloved by a man, it's
32:48
very natural for me to love on you
32:50
and hug on you and everything else. So
32:52
it's just been fun having these conversations with
32:54
these girls as they're going through their teen
32:57
years. I mean, that was another thing that
32:59
people would tell me that, oh,
33:01
once your daughter, you know, once they
33:03
get to a certain age, you're going to pull away from
33:05
you. And I've never felt
33:08
that with any of my daughters.
33:11
It's been really fun. And
33:15
I just, I love my kids so
33:17
much. And it's so
33:19
fun to now be a grandfather and
33:22
still have my oldest daughter, you know,
33:24
whenever I share something with her, she's like, wow,
33:26
dad, I still need you. You
33:29
still have so much wisdom, you know,
33:31
and I still get cards and texts
33:33
and everything else. You know,
33:35
it's, it's never changed.
33:37
Like it's, it's always been
33:39
like that. And every phase
33:41
of their life, it's just been like this intimacy
33:44
because I remember when we first had
33:48
our first child, someone told me about,
33:51
he says, you know, you've got a little girl, what a gift.
33:55
And they said, she's going to marry a guy who's
33:57
just like you. That
34:00
was a scary thought because
34:02
you love this child so much that
34:05
you go well, then I need to become that man
34:08
that I would want her to marry and and
34:11
and they explained to me that that
34:14
her picture of God is
34:16
going to be impacted by their view of you
34:18
and So I
34:20
thought wow, I represent God to these
34:22
kids. So that's why From
34:25
young age on they
34:27
respect me. I discipline them I
34:30
punish them because I want
34:32
them to understand that this is the picture
34:34
of God a God who disciplines the ones
34:36
that he loves I Forgive
34:39
them quickly. I embrace them I
34:41
am affectionate with them because I
34:43
want to show them a dad
34:46
who is like God who loves me
34:48
Who wants me to call out Abba Father
34:50
who does forgive me and I know
34:52
his love is unconditional Like
34:55
I want to show that to my children
34:58
and it's it's all of being that's why it's got
35:00
to be about God first and One
35:04
last thought and I know we have to go turns up is
35:08
a Few
35:10
years ago we adopted a girl out of
35:12
the foster system she's
35:14
a teenager and just
35:17
came from a really messed up background and The
35:22
Social worker came over one night because
35:27
her The girl that
35:29
was living with us her sister Was
35:32
you know dating guys from gangs and
35:34
stuff like that dating? I mean sleeping
35:36
around with gangsters and and
35:39
then there were threats against our family For
35:42
taking in the girl like they were saying they're gonna
35:44
shoot up the house And
35:46
so the social worker was like looked
35:49
at us and saying so how much longer? can
35:52
she stay with you knowing that some
35:54
of these threats could be real and
35:57
I remember just looking at this girl and going
35:59
honey I
36:02
You can live with us as long as you want.
36:04
I'm not afraid. I want you to be
36:06
my daughter I'll treat you like I treat
36:08
my other daughter's you see how I treat those girls.
36:10
That's the way I would treat you I
36:13
want you and to see your eyes light up
36:15
and Even
36:18
for me I was like surprised
36:20
like this just Effortly came out
36:22
of my mouth like I
36:24
want you. You're my daughter if you'll
36:27
take me, you know and
36:30
Realizing Wow Lord,
36:33
that's the way you are to me You're
36:37
a father to the fatherless and now
36:39
it's coming out of my mouth I'm
36:42
really becoming like you like that's the joy
36:44
I'm like what I was talking about this
36:46
morning when we're children of God These
36:49
things come through because we have
36:51
the seed of God implanted in
36:53
us It's and and
36:55
I would just yeah, amen. I None
37:01
of this would have happened on
37:03
my own It's the Spirit of God
37:05
the Spirit of God the Spirit of God Inside
37:08
of us that brings us
37:10
into the conformity with Christ
37:13
and it's when you become that man
37:15
or woman of Christ that
37:18
you become a blessing to each other
37:20
and to your children and to your
37:22
neighborhood and to the world and So,
37:25
please get right whatever you need
37:27
to get right those of you
37:29
and immoral relationships get out of there Those
37:32
of you that are battling unforgiveness
37:34
with your spouse Like
37:36
like like Matthew 6 says
37:39
if you don't forgive your brother from the
37:41
heart God will
37:43
not forgive you That's
37:46
huge. It should be terrifying
37:48
to you. Let's repent of these things
37:50
The Spirit of God can flow through
37:53
our families and our families can be a
37:55
light into the world again. All right.
37:58
Thank you Thanks
38:04
for joining us on the Crazy Love Podcast.
38:07
We hope these teachings have been a blessing
38:09
to you and helped you see marriage in
38:11
a whole new way. If you'd
38:13
like to pick up a copy of
38:15
Francis and Lisa's book, You and Me
38:17
Forever, Marriage in Light of Eternity, you
38:19
can find it at crazylove.org. Thank
38:22
you again for listening and join us next
38:24
week for the Crazy Love Podcast.
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