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You and Me Forever (Pt. 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

You and Me Forever (Pt. 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

Released Monday, 19th February 2024
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You and Me Forever (Pt. 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

You and Me Forever (Pt. 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

You and Me Forever (Pt. 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

You and Me Forever (Pt. 2) | Francis and Lisa Chan

Monday, 19th February 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:05

Welcome. To the Crazy Love Podcast

0:07

Have you ever thought about how

0:09

your lifestyle reflects your values today?

0:12

In part to of last week's

0:14

message francis and least a chance

0:16

Share with the scriptures, teach on

0:19

marriage and purity, stressing the importance

0:21

of living a life that honors

0:23

God. They also remind us of

0:26

the power of repentance, the promise

0:28

of forgiveness, and a fresh start.

0:36

First Corinthians, Six. He

0:39

says. Food.

0:43

Is meant for the still make and stomach

0:45

for food and God will destroy both on

0:47

one in the other. The

0:49

body is not meant for

0:52

sexual immorality, but for the

0:54

Lord and the Lord. For

0:57

the body and God rays

0:59

the lord and will also

1:02

raised by his power. Do

1:04

you not know that your

1:06

bodies are members of Christ?

1:09

Satellite then take the members

1:11

of Christ and make them

1:14

members of a prostitute. Never

1:16

or do you not know

1:18

that. He who is joining

1:21

do a prostitute becomes one

1:23

body with her for as

1:26

it is written the to

1:28

will become one flesh but

1:31

huge joy into the lord

1:33

becomes one spirit with him.

1:36

Flee from sexual immorality. Every

1:38

other sin a person commits

1:40

is outside the body but

1:43

the sexually immoral person sins

1:45

against his own body. Or.

1:48

Do you not know that your

1:50

body is a temple of the

1:52

Holy Spirit with in you who

1:54

you have from God you are

1:56

not your own. You were bought

1:58

with a price. So glorify

2:01

God in your body. He

2:05

explains that every other sin

2:07

you commit is outside of

2:10

your body. Okay,

2:12

so I get it. Yes, the Bible teaches

2:14

if you're guilty of one sin, you are

2:16

guilty of all of them. That is biblical.

2:19

But it is also biblical

2:21

what he says here. That

2:24

the other sins you commit are

2:26

outside of your body. And there

2:28

is something different about having sex

2:30

outside of marriage. He says because

2:32

you're sinning against your own body.

2:35

And it's a very graphic picture. He

2:37

goes, don't you know, like Ephesians 5,

2:40

one of the beautiful things is he

2:42

says that I am a

2:44

member of the body of Christ. See,

2:47

we say that like no big deal. Yeah, I'm a

2:49

member of the body of Christ. Think about what that

2:52

means. He says he nourishes

2:54

and cherishes it just like you would

2:56

a part of your body. Like

2:59

right now I have this pain in

3:01

my bicep. I can't lift things because

3:03

I have like this torn something. I

3:05

don't understand the body, but you

3:07

know, but my whole body is like,

3:09

oh, it's really bothering me. Like I

3:12

can't lift things with my left arm.

3:15

And so I care for it.

3:17

I rub it. It's a part.

3:19

It's attached. And the Bible says

3:21

that I am

3:24

attached to Christ. Are

3:27

you kidding me right now? The

3:29

God of the universe. That

3:32

he looks at me like I look at

3:34

my own arm. And

3:36

he says, Francis, you're a member of me.

3:40

And that's why Paul says in Corinthians,

3:42

he goes, so I'm going to take

3:44

a member of Christ. So

3:47

you being attached to

3:49

Jesus, you dare

3:53

sleep with someone who

3:55

is not Your

3:57

spouse. The.

4:01

His is your as has

4:03

to Jesus. That means when

4:05

you go into a bad

4:08

with that for you're bringing

4:10

sees his with you. He

4:13

says you're it's helpful of

4:15

the holy spirit now you're

4:17

forcing sees us is Sue

4:19

or Jr and said he

4:21

wants no part of. It's

4:25

it's it's it's a really ugly

4:27

six or of your you're in

4:29

of says rape mean god, you're

4:32

forcing him into a sexual relationship.

4:34

He was nothing no part of

4:36

I know the world's his own.

4:38

You're in love with so beautiful,

4:40

Know God and disgusted Myers and

4:42

he says you're going take me

4:45

and force me into a union

4:47

with this man or this woman

4:49

That would nothing I have. Used

4:52

as disgusting. How

4:54

dare you do that? To.

4:57

Me: And

4:59

then you're going to walk into a

5:01

church gathering and sing to him. That

5:06

is just disgusting. And

5:09

if that is you. Meant.

5:12

Don't Combat. Not.

5:16

So you repent. Turn.

5:18

Away from that. I

5:22

figure that's as it is. It hurts the

5:24

church. But.

5:27

Man, I hope some guys who are

5:29

you're really strong on this because the

5:31

Lord is very strong and this is

5:33

so system into him. I

5:37

mean he's gonna understand to for

5:39

some of you guys. Like.

5:42

If you dare take one of

5:45

his daughters. Okay,

5:49

And you sleep with

5:51

one of can I

5:53

have five daughters. I.

5:56

Have five daughters. Would.

5:59

any you think to

6:02

sleep with one of my daughters

6:05

outside of marriage and then come

6:07

to my house and

6:11

try to be my buddy? Are you

6:15

kidding me? You

6:17

slept with one of my daughter... are

6:19

you kidding me right now? You

6:23

dare sleep with one of my

6:25

girls and think that we'll just

6:27

be friends. That's

6:30

me as a human being. I

6:32

would tear you up. And

6:36

so imagine God who

6:38

holy holy holy holy

6:40

God who

6:43

loves his daughters even more

6:45

than that and

6:47

you are going to defile one of

6:49

them and then pray to him? You're

6:53

insane. That

6:55

is so evil, so

6:58

wicked. And I

7:04

will say though, there's

7:08

forgiveness for that.

7:10

Okay? But

7:13

you need to repent. You

7:15

need to walk away from that. You need

7:18

to confess that the Lord... the

7:20

crazy thing is the Lord will forgive

7:22

you probably

7:25

better than I would.

7:27

Okay? But he

7:30

will also punish a lot worse

7:32

than I would. And

7:35

I'm just telling you please for

7:37

your sake and for the sake of

7:39

his church and for his bride, I'm

7:42

tired of hearing about

7:45

people in ministry and

7:47

people in these churches. They're living

7:49

the same way that they do out in the

7:51

world. It's ugly. It's ugly.

7:55

Some of the decisions we made early

7:58

on... I

8:01

was a virgin when I got married at

8:03

26 because

8:06

I became a Christian pretty early on in

8:08

my teen years and Realized

8:10

man, and I'm not saying I

8:12

was perfect in any way man. I

8:14

was like every other guy the temptation everything

8:17

else But at

8:19

least kept that part for marriage Lisa

8:23

same thing I Maintained

8:27

herself kept herself. We made it

8:29

we made decisions early on Out

8:32

of our walk with the Lord so that

8:34

when I put that ring on her finger

8:36

She could know that look I

8:38

saved myself for you And

8:40

so that's why when I'm gone traveling or

8:43

whatever She knows she can trust me because

8:45

you know what I showed her that and

8:47

even when we were engaged in all the

8:50

passion There and everything else. It's like no

8:52

I'm gonna show self control you

8:55

know and Because

8:57

I wanted to know that I'm a man of self control

9:01

And you can trust me when I put that ring on

9:03

your finger, and I say there will be no other I

9:06

meant that and the same

9:08

vice versa These are

9:10

the decisions you make at

9:12

a young age and They

9:15

continue on and that's why

9:17

you can say when you're 50 years old man

9:20

It's been good, and you can

9:22

say after 25 years of marriage This

9:24

is insanely good Everything

9:27

has been so good. You know

9:34

But it's decisions you make today,

9:36

and it's true I understand

9:38

in a group the size many

9:40

of you have already made those mistakes But

9:43

I'm telling you there's forgiveness and

9:45

not only that But

9:48

there's redemption because maybe

9:50

you maybe you're single

9:52

here And you've already committed

9:54

this this disgusting act with

9:56

someone else and But

10:00

maybe you hear this message and

10:02

you realize how disgusting it is

10:04

in God's eyes and you actually

10:07

repent. What

10:09

a beautiful thing to be able to say

10:11

on your wedding day to your

10:13

spouse, look, I heard this message and

10:15

I heard the word of God and

10:17

I was so convicted about my life

10:19

that I turned it around and I

10:21

kept myself pure from this day on.

10:24

And to be able to give that gift

10:26

and to show that that's really the Holy

10:28

Spirit in your life, changing the way you

10:30

think and changing the way that you live.

10:33

And I hope

10:35

that's true. I hope that will happen to

10:37

some of you today. But I had to throw

10:39

that out there because I was just stirring in me

10:42

that I'm just going, you know what, we

10:44

can talk about this relationship with God

10:46

and everything else. But let's

10:48

just cut to the chase. You

10:52

can't have a relationship with Him and

10:54

continue in that type of immorality

10:56

just like you cannot rape

10:58

one of my daughters and expect

11:01

to have a relationship with me. It's

11:03

just not going to happen. You've

11:06

got to pick. You've got to choose. Yeah,

11:11

the verse that comes to mind is, set

11:14

your mind on things above,

11:16

not on

11:19

things of this world. And

11:22

husbands, if

11:25

you're listening, you

11:27

want to know the most wonderful thing you

11:29

can do for your wife? It's

11:33

to set your mind on

11:36

things above and

11:39

to set the tone of your home

11:42

on things above, not

11:45

the things of this world. I

11:48

tell Francis very regularly that

11:51

that is the thing I am most grateful

11:53

for. That

11:55

he is a man who has led

11:58

me and our children. towards

12:01

the things above. You

12:04

know, where is your treasure? Is your

12:07

treasure here? Because

12:09

wherever your treasure is, that's where your heart

12:11

is going to be. So

12:14

if your treasure is here on earth, if this

12:16

is what you're living for, then

12:19

by all means you're going to do what thou

12:21

wilt. You're just

12:23

going to do what you want. And

12:26

there's going to be a lot of pain

12:28

and sin and ugliness that comes from that.

12:32

But if you set your mind on

12:34

things above, and you

12:36

store up for yourselves treasures in

12:38

Heaven, where nothing

12:40

can destroy it or touch

12:43

it or take it away,

12:46

there's so many times when Francis will

12:48

sit the kids and I down and

12:51

he'll think, this is the decision that we're

12:54

making, because we're

12:56

not ever going to regret this in light

12:58

of eternity, in

13:00

light of what's coming. We're

13:03

not going to live for this world. And

13:05

he just sets that tone over and

13:08

over and over again. So I just

13:10

want to say to you, husbands, step

13:13

it up and

13:15

set the standard in your home and

13:19

say we've got to remember why we're here

13:21

and who we are here for. It's

13:23

the whole heart behind why we wrote

13:26

the book even. It's

13:30

like we've got to get people thinking, you

13:32

know what, marriage, nothing is for you. It's

13:34

not about you. You need

13:37

to hear that all the time because I do. I

13:40

think about myself way too much.

13:44

And I'm just willing to bet that you're

13:46

probably just like me. You

13:49

think of you more often than anyone else.

13:52

What do I want? What do I need? What

13:55

do I want to get?

13:58

Where do I want to go? It's

14:00

always me, me, me. So

14:03

even in marriage, even in singleness with deciding,

14:05

well, I want this and I want that.

14:07

God, what do you want? God,

14:09

do you want me to be single? Well,

14:13

then the verse that came to me, the

14:15

first one for you guys last night was Colossians

14:17

3, verse 17. It

14:23

says, whatever you do in word or

14:25

deed, do all in the name of

14:27

the Lord Jesus, giving thanks

14:29

through Him to God the Father. And

14:33

I'm like, well, that's kind of a weird verse,

14:35

Lord, but not really. Whatever

14:39

you do, you mean even

14:41

marriage? Have you guys, when

14:43

is the last time you considered, you

14:47

know what, this marriage, I'm doing this in the

14:49

name of the Lord Jesus. Whatever you do in

14:51

word or deed, do it all in the name

14:53

of the Lord Jesus. And

14:55

a little bit further down in verse 23,

14:59

rewords it a little bit. It says,

15:01

whatever you do, do your

15:03

work heartily as for the Lord

15:05

rather than for men. Here

15:09

he's talking about your work, because he literally

15:11

was talking about slaves in verse 22. Obey

15:14

those who are your masters on earth, not

15:17

with external service as those

15:19

who merely please men, but

15:22

with sincerity of heart, fearing

15:25

the Lord. He's

15:28

just bringing it down into every part of

15:30

your life. You

15:33

could go to your job and you've

15:35

got the worst boss ever and you

15:37

hate your job, but you choose to

15:40

do it as unto the Lord, because

15:42

that's what we're called to as believers.

15:44

It doesn't matter what earthly things you

15:47

see or are involved in, your circumstances

15:49

are not what define you. You

15:51

do your work as unto the Lord

15:54

because you fear God. And

15:56

in the same way in marriage, it's like we just

15:58

need a... new

16:00

perspective, we just need a mind

16:02

shift. Like

16:05

this marriage, I'm so about myself in

16:07

this marriage, all I'm thinking about is

16:09

what I need and what I want

16:11

and what I wish he or she

16:13

was like or what he or she

16:15

would do for me. And

16:17

you're not thinking this

16:19

marriage is for Christ.

16:23

I want to work in my

16:25

marriage as unto the Lord.

16:28

And that changes your whole motivation.

16:31

You guys, Francis will not always motivate

16:33

me to do what is right. Sometimes

16:36

he does because he's a

16:38

pretty good husband. But

16:41

what about when you have a husband who's not so

16:43

great? Do you get

16:45

like the get out of jail free card that you

16:47

don't have to be? A loving

16:49

wife or a loving

16:51

husband? God

16:55

calls us to something deeper

16:59

and greater as believers. No, do

17:01

everything as unto the Lord. So

17:04

the first thing you have to do in your marriage

17:06

is remember that it is not about you. It

17:09

is about Christ and it is for Christ.

17:12

And if you look in Colossians 3 starting in verse

17:14

12, it just gives

17:16

this beautiful passage that I think you

17:18

can just so take to heart as

17:20

a preaching for all of us, but

17:22

especially for Mary. So

17:25

as those who have been

17:27

chosen of God, holy and

17:29

beloved. See,

17:31

it starts with your identity always. You

17:37

are someone who has been chosen of

17:39

God and you are holy and beloved.

17:42

Remember your source, your cup. You're

17:45

already holy and beloved and you

17:47

are a child of God. Then

17:52

he goes to what you do. Then out

17:54

of that, put on a heart

17:57

of compassion. kindness,

18:02

humility, gentleness,

18:05

and patience, bearing

18:07

with one another and forgiving

18:10

each other. Whoever

18:12

has a complaint against

18:14

anyone, just as the Lord

18:17

forgave you, so also

18:19

should you. When

18:22

is the last time it was in your

18:24

heart to say when someone offended you, God

18:26

give me the grace of forgiveness as

18:28

you have forgiven me. That's

18:32

the most amazing forgiveness

18:34

of all because

18:36

we deserve none of

18:38

his forgiveness. He's

18:42

perfectly holy and he has

18:44

never offended us and

18:46

we offend him over and over again

18:49

and his forgiveness is

18:51

there and it's real and he

18:53

says forgive as I

18:55

have forgiven you. That

19:00

is a word for you guys to

19:02

take to heart because there is another

19:04

passage in Scripture that says if you

19:06

do not forgive I will

19:09

not forgive you. God

19:12

is very serious about this and listen

19:15

if you are going to enter into

19:17

a marriage relationship you will need to

19:20

forgive. You

19:22

cannot be in a relationship with

19:24

any other person for any length

19:26

of time and not need forgiveness.

19:28

Can I hear anyone say amen?

19:30

I don't

19:33

care if it's your child, your sister, your

19:35

mother, your brother, man we

19:38

offend one another. We are sinful

19:41

people and we

19:43

just want to be this fountain

19:45

of forgiveness and grace to offer

19:47

to people I forgive you yes

19:50

I will forgive you and to

19:52

pray and ask God for the ability

19:54

to forgive when we don't feel it

19:58

but man if you could just take maybe

20:02

on your own you can ask yourself, you

20:04

can ask yourself, here's

20:06

where I rate myself in putting

20:09

on a heart of

20:12

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness,

20:15

patience, and that

20:17

forbearing spirit, forgiveness. Where

20:21

are you at with that? We could just sit

20:23

for a good hour and deal

20:26

with some things with the

20:28

Lord, right? And maybe it's

20:30

time to have that conversation. There are

20:33

times in our relationship, I don't know,

20:35

maybe every couple years or during an

20:37

anniversary we'll sit and

20:39

say, hey, if there's one thing I

20:41

could do differently or better, like

20:44

how can I be a better wife or what do you see

20:46

that I need to work on? And

20:50

man, that just like builds

20:53

humility into your life. Because guess what? I

20:55

don't ever want to hear what I'm doing

20:57

wrong or what I need to work on.

21:00

But if I'm asking for it in humility, I'm

21:03

saying, hey, can you tell me where

21:05

do I need to work? What

21:08

am I doing? Have I offended you in any

21:10

way? And

21:13

build that heart of compassion

21:15

and kindness and gentleness, humility,

21:17

which is so precious to

21:19

God and it's so necessary

21:22

for any relationship that we

21:24

are in. When

21:30

she was talking, we're

21:34

hitting a lot of really heavy things.

21:37

And it's kind of like when we're writing the book

21:39

how I was like, wow, this sounds really heavy. And

21:42

there's this other side

21:45

too of just the

21:47

Lord says how He gave us everything

21:49

to enjoy. And I don't

21:53

want you guys to walk away thinking, gosh,

21:55

Francis and Lisa, they probably just at home

21:57

preaching to each other all day. We're

22:00

just like, yeah, this. And

22:03

if you're sleeping with someone, you're going to hell. You

22:06

know, like, it's like

22:09

so much of our marriage

22:11

is just laughter, you

22:14

know, with the kids and enjoying each

22:16

other because it is such a beautiful,

22:19

beautiful thing that God created. And

22:22

even, yeah, I want to apologize. Even like

22:24

a lot of times in

22:26

the church when we come to the area of

22:29

sexual immorality, like we talk about

22:31

that. And yet it's almost like

22:33

we can look at that as

22:36

a negative thing, sex

22:38

itself. And we forget,

22:40

like, there's so many things that are

22:42

distorted in our world that

22:45

Satan is almost taking the glory,

22:48

I take that glory away from

22:50

God when God created something so

22:52

beautiful in marriage. And that's what

22:54

we want for you is like there can

22:57

be so much joy, but

22:59

it comes with repentance.

23:02

And even, you know, just

23:04

be honest, like, like, like,

23:09

sex is

23:11

awesome. You know, like, it's just,

23:13

it's not like that

23:15

was from Satan. It's not like God created

23:17

Adam and Eve. And then he's like, hey,

23:20

what are you doing? Get off her. You

23:22

know, no, it's this

23:24

was his creation. You

23:27

know, it was amazing. You know, he

23:29

says, whether you eat, drink, whatever, you

23:31

do it all for the glory of

23:33

God. We have a God who's so

23:35

creative, so beautiful, so amazing. I mean,

23:38

we're talking about eating earlier. Isn't

23:40

eating just the best, you

23:43

know, like that taste in your mouth.

23:45

I mean, God could have created it

23:48

in such a way that we're like

23:50

the plants and we just suck dirt

23:53

into our feet and like, hmm,

23:55

got energy now. But

23:57

instead, in his. Glory

24:00

he goes no I'm gonna make

24:02

food and you're gonna taste it

24:04

and you're gonna love it And

24:06

it's in the same way You

24:10

know he could have said well we need

24:12

to procreate so I'll have you touch her

24:14

forehead and she'll become pregnant you know But

24:17

no he's like no I got a

24:20

better one okay, and it's that whole

24:22

idea of him you just go cut

24:24

That's amazing. It's a beautiful beautiful thing

24:26

and so in the same way With

24:29

with marriage let's not let

24:31

the enemy Like steal this

24:33

thing if so many young people that

24:35

are dreading and terrified of I don't

24:37

know if I want to get married

24:39

Because you know I know this person's

24:42

relationship and that person's relationship and this

24:44

and this and this and

24:46

in reality This is God's

24:48

creation. It's beautiful It's

24:51

sacred and when you pursue things

24:53

his way it can

24:55

be so amazing I can

24:59

Honestly tell you young people and

25:02

25 years later like I

25:04

desire my wife as

25:07

much as I did in day one and probably

25:10

more so Yeah,

25:12

I'm probably more so I Know

25:15

it's kind of weird talk about here, but I

25:18

go you know what that's the way the Lord designed

25:20

it it'd be this beautiful

25:22

beautiful thing and And

25:25

it's not let the enemy rob us

25:28

of these wonderful families and

25:30

marriages and Pleasure that

25:32

we can find in one another the way

25:34

I met Lisa Was

25:36

I was working at a church and

25:39

she came because she was a singer. She

25:41

still is a singer You don't really lose your voice but

25:46

she came as a guest soloist

25:49

and so I had heard about her and

25:53

She was um she was

25:55

kind of a big deal back then I mean she

25:57

still is now, but I mean like She

26:01

was the former Miss

26:03

Teen California, you know?

26:05

I know, I know. And

26:09

she was like this recording artist

26:11

and everything else. And meanwhile

26:13

I'm like this pastor

26:15

that's losing his hair, you know? And

26:18

I just thought, this girl is definitely

26:20

out of my league. But

26:23

it was one of those like desperate, I'm just going to

26:25

try, I'm going to go for it. But you know, losing

26:28

my hair was traumatic. It was

26:30

like, oh man, I better

26:32

hurry and find someone. My

26:35

mom did say, you know he's going

26:37

to lose his hair, don't you? I

26:40

was like, mom, you're so shallow. Yeah,

26:44

she wasn't thrilled with me. But,

26:48

so that's how we met, is that

26:50

she was singing and I just was

26:52

blown away by her voice and

26:55

her beauty and then, you

26:58

know, that was

27:00

pretty much it. Do you want to know one of the

27:02

most romantic things that he did? It was also

27:04

very spiritual. But it was

27:06

right before we got married. He

27:09

gave me a gift and it was

27:12

a Bible and it had my new

27:14

name on it yet. My

27:16

new name even though we weren't married yet, so it says

27:18

Lisa Chan. And then he inscribed

27:21

on the front, you know,

27:23

just a beautiful letter

27:25

like, this

27:28

is what I want our marriage to be founded

27:30

on. It's all about Christ and it was just

27:32

a beautiful letter. Isn't that so sweet? That was

27:34

such a good gift. This

27:38

is your romantic, I'll tell you that story. That's

27:44

a great question too about purity

27:47

and I want to

27:49

address purity in marriage. We've

27:53

been married for 25 years. I

27:55

have never even been in

27:57

a car alone with another woman.

28:00

woman. I've never been

28:02

in a room alone with another woman.

28:05

Like I just standard

28:08

where I don't even allow myself to

28:10

get into trouble. There's

28:12

just no opportunity for that and

28:15

I think those are some of the decisions you

28:17

have to make early on because you

28:19

go look I just we're

28:22

all tempted in so many ways and so

28:25

even when we were when when we were

28:27

dating you know often it was like hey

28:29

let's just go in groups let's be with

28:31

other people let's never be a I remember

28:34

us I used to have

28:36

an apartment and with with

28:39

three other guys and we're all

28:41

single and we

28:43

just had that open door policy

28:45

like you never bring a girl

28:47

into the room alone and you

28:50

know or you know if you have the door open we're free

28:52

to walk

28:54

in at any time you know and

28:56

so and we would just to check

28:58

on each other you know we'd trip

29:00

and pretend we fall in the room

29:02

oh hey sorry it was just like

29:05

but all of these standards even

29:07

when I was single the

29:10

temptation even like pornography

29:13

or whatever else and there was just

29:15

that struggle of lust and I

29:17

remember even just because I was

29:19

so convicted before the God of wanting

29:21

to keep this temple pure I told

29:23

the Lord okay if if I struggle

29:25

with lust one day then I won't

29:28

eat the next day and

29:31

I'll spend the whole day fasting you know

29:33

and just so that

29:35

all day long I could remember like

29:37

the sin of the day before and

29:39

ask God to cleanse me of that

29:42

and I lost about 15

29:44

pounds that way too but it

29:47

was it was just the

29:51

Bible talks about like disciplining

29:53

yourself you know for the

29:55

sake of godliness and so

29:57

sometimes we set up these standards in

29:59

our lives so that it's like

30:01

because I want to stay pure in

30:04

your eyes. I was

30:06

just thinking our older girls have

30:09

also brought us in on this

30:12

whole process. You know,

30:15

like asking me, Mom, I need you.

30:17

I need to know that you're going to ask

30:19

me what we were doing

30:21

and what our time was like alone

30:23

because their desire is also for purity.

30:25

Our oldest is married, but one

30:29

of our other daughters is dating a guy very seriously

30:31

and they're thinking marriage,

30:33

and so of course the passion is

30:35

there. And even this last

30:37

trip, she just said, Mom, I just want

30:40

to remind you that you need to be

30:42

asking me and that really helps me. And

30:46

so I'm thinking, wow,

30:49

that is such a blessing to have your

30:51

children just say, I

30:53

want to ask you to speak into my

30:55

life here and it will help me if

30:57

I know that you're going to ask. And

30:59

I'm like, girl, I will be asking. So,

31:03

yeah, just so sweet to

31:05

try to go through that journey with

31:07

them, knowing that the struggle is real

31:10

and that they invite me into

31:12

it is really precious. And

31:14

I can pray for them and be talking to

31:16

them about it and it's so good. I

31:20

didn't even know that. That's pretty cool. So

31:22

do that with me. I could

31:26

see that. That'd be weird with that. But

31:32

then I would want to beat them up. OK,

31:36

what was the third? But they also

31:38

make really practical decisions. They're like, we have

31:40

we just have to spend a lot of

31:42

time with other people because if we're alone

31:44

too much, I mean,

31:47

it's very obvious, obviously. That's the

31:49

most significant thing that

31:51

I would say that they both chose to

31:53

do was be with other people

31:56

just knowing that it is so hard, the more

31:58

time you spend alone. And you

32:00

know, also one of our daughters, a different one,

32:04

she was saying the other day, gosh, my

32:06

friend is so like boy crazy. Like it's

32:08

all she can talk about as boys and

32:11

she gets all the affection and everything else.

32:14

And, and I was like, well, honey, you know, I go,

32:17

I'm very affectionate with you. You

32:20

know, maybe too much, you know, like you

32:22

just like, okay, dad, enough, enough. I

32:24

go, but

32:26

not everyone has a dad that loves

32:29

them like this. And

32:31

so let's be careful, you know, with other

32:33

people that sometimes they're more that way because

32:36

there's difficulties in the home and,

32:38

and that they struggle with that. And

32:41

so I want you to know that I, because

32:43

I don't ever want you to

32:45

feel unloved by a man, it's

32:48

very natural for me to love on you

32:50

and hug on you and everything else. So

32:52

it's just been fun having these conversations with

32:54

these girls as they're going through their teen

32:57

years. I mean, that was another thing that

32:59

people would tell me that, oh,

33:01

once your daughter, you know, once they

33:03

get to a certain age, you're going to pull away from

33:05

you. And I've never felt

33:08

that with any of my daughters.

33:11

It's been really fun. And

33:15

I just, I love my kids so

33:17

much. And it's so

33:19

fun to now be a grandfather and

33:22

still have my oldest daughter, you know,

33:24

whenever I share something with her, she's like, wow,

33:26

dad, I still need you. You

33:29

still have so much wisdom, you know,

33:31

and I still get cards and texts

33:33

and everything else. You know,

33:35

it's, it's never changed.

33:37

Like it's, it's always been

33:39

like that. And every phase

33:41

of their life, it's just been like this intimacy

33:44

because I remember when we first had

33:48

our first child, someone told me about,

33:51

he says, you know, you've got a little girl, what a gift.

33:55

And they said, she's going to marry a guy who's

33:57

just like you. That

34:00

was a scary thought because

34:02

you love this child so much that

34:05

you go well, then I need to become that man

34:08

that I would want her to marry and and

34:11

and they explained to me that that

34:14

her picture of God is

34:16

going to be impacted by their view of you

34:18

and So I

34:20

thought wow, I represent God to these

34:22

kids. So that's why From

34:25

young age on they

34:27

respect me. I discipline them I

34:30

punish them because I want

34:32

them to understand that this is the picture

34:34

of God a God who disciplines the ones

34:36

that he loves I Forgive

34:39

them quickly. I embrace them I

34:41

am affectionate with them because I

34:43

want to show them a dad

34:46

who is like God who loves me

34:48

Who wants me to call out Abba Father

34:50

who does forgive me and I know

34:52

his love is unconditional Like

34:55

I want to show that to my children

34:58

and it's it's all of being that's why it's got

35:00

to be about God first and One

35:04

last thought and I know we have to go turns up is

35:08

a Few

35:10

years ago we adopted a girl out of

35:12

the foster system she's

35:14

a teenager and just

35:17

came from a really messed up background and The

35:22

Social worker came over one night because

35:27

her The girl that

35:29

was living with us her sister Was

35:32

you know dating guys from gangs and

35:34

stuff like that dating? I mean sleeping

35:36

around with gangsters and and

35:39

then there were threats against our family For

35:42

taking in the girl like they were saying they're gonna

35:44

shoot up the house And

35:46

so the social worker was like looked

35:49

at us and saying so how much longer? can

35:52

she stay with you knowing that some

35:54

of these threats could be real and

35:57

I remember just looking at this girl and going

35:59

honey I

36:02

You can live with us as long as you want.

36:04

I'm not afraid. I want you to be

36:06

my daughter I'll treat you like I treat

36:08

my other daughter's you see how I treat those girls.

36:10

That's the way I would treat you I

36:13

want you and to see your eyes light up

36:15

and Even

36:18

for me I was like surprised

36:20

like this just Effortly came out

36:22

of my mouth like I

36:24

want you. You're my daughter if you'll

36:27

take me, you know and

36:30

Realizing Wow Lord,

36:33

that's the way you are to me You're

36:37

a father to the fatherless and now

36:39

it's coming out of my mouth I'm

36:42

really becoming like you like that's the joy

36:44

I'm like what I was talking about this

36:46

morning when we're children of God These

36:49

things come through because we have

36:51

the seed of God implanted in

36:53

us It's and and

36:55

I would just yeah, amen. I None

37:01

of this would have happened on

37:03

my own It's the Spirit of God

37:05

the Spirit of God the Spirit of God Inside

37:08

of us that brings us

37:10

into the conformity with Christ

37:13

and it's when you become that man

37:15

or woman of Christ that

37:18

you become a blessing to each other

37:20

and to your children and to your

37:22

neighborhood and to the world and So,

37:25

please get right whatever you need

37:27

to get right those of you

37:29

and immoral relationships get out of there Those

37:32

of you that are battling unforgiveness

37:34

with your spouse Like

37:36

like like Matthew 6 says

37:39

if you don't forgive your brother from the

37:41

heart God will

37:43

not forgive you That's

37:46

huge. It should be terrifying

37:48

to you. Let's repent of these things

37:50

The Spirit of God can flow through

37:53

our families and our families can be a

37:55

light into the world again. All right.

37:58

Thank you Thanks

38:04

for joining us on the Crazy Love Podcast.

38:07

We hope these teachings have been a blessing

38:09

to you and helped you see marriage in

38:11

a whole new way. If you'd

38:13

like to pick up a copy of

38:15

Francis and Lisa's book, You and Me

38:17

Forever, Marriage in Light of Eternity, you

38:19

can find it at crazylove.org. Thank

38:22

you again for listening and join us next

38:24

week for the Crazy Love Podcast.

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