Each of Us Has an Internal Map of Reality Which is Made Up of Our Experiences and Their Effect On Us.

Your internal map of reality is your perception of the world around you and how you perceive yourself fitting into it.  If your childhood experiences led you to believe that making mistakes was akin to death, your internal map will ensure your survival by making you averse to doing anything that could potentially result in a less than perfect outcome.

In addition, on a subconscious level you are so convinced that your map of reality is correct, you pull evidence from the outside world to validate it.  If your experiences led you to believe that you were unlovable, you will look for evidence to validate this and perhaps attract people to you who are incapable of loving.

But remember, your internal map is not who you are, it is a tool that you have developed to assist you with navigating in the world. You created it, so you can change it.