2. You are getting rid of your old habits. Nope You don’t get rid of old patterns of behaviour, they’re there under the surface. waiting to be reactivated, particularly when you are under stress. What you are doing is creating new habits, with different neural pathways. Over time they will strengthen and become your go to neural track - they will become a stronger habit and pattern of behaviour than your old one.

3. You just need more motivation. Nope. Motivation is not enough to sustain change. It can kickstart momentum and provide you with a part of your reason for change, but it's not the how.

4. Failing means you aren't capable of meeting the goal, or you are lacking in motivation. Nope Failure, or relapse is a normal part of the behaviour change cycle.

5. If you tell myself often enough that you can do it you will. Nope. Positive affirmations can do more harm than good. An affirmation is a statement of truth. If what you are saying out loud does not match how you think or feel about yourself, this can create increased inner turmoil and disconnection from your authentic self, making it harder to create and sustain a new healthy lifestyle.

So if motivation and giving yourself pep talks doesn't work, what does? Starting from a base of awareness and acceptance. Knowing where you are and what you are currently experiencing allows you to recenter, connect and keep going.

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Creating Connection is a podcast by Kim Ross, Psychologist. It is for mums, micro business owners and mental health professionals.

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