0:01

What did you break up with me? So

0:03

embarrassing? Is he talking

0:05

to another girl? I can't believe you would say that about

0:07

taking the entire bottle place? Crying

0:11

in public? Just another podcast?

0:17

Hello, coom, morning, good night?

0:20

Wait even decide to doing intro? Is

0:22

my fam at night? I feel like, okay,

0:26

trying public? Let's go. Wait what is

0:28

the intro? That with a guest star? That's

0:31

her? Hi,

0:33

guys, and welcome to Crying in Public

0:37

and we're gonna do a roll.

0:41

Hi. I'm Sarah, I'm Sydney, I'm

0:43

Sophia, I'm Issha, and I'm

0:45

Claudia. Claudia is so ready she was

0:47

like, I'm sucking Claudia. And guess what we

0:49

have? Hello, I'm sink. It's

0:52

my first time on a podcast. Perious.

0:55

Okay, So this week we

0:57

have the infamous, the one, the

0:59

only, the everlasting. What's

1:02

your last

1:07

I shouldn't say his last name for all the crazy

1:10

fans out there. Yeah, his name is

1:12

Finn with one end with

1:16

it's f y n. It's actually Flynn.

1:19

So it listened to our last

1:22

episode. You've heard about

1:24

our obsession with Finn, and so today

1:26

we have him as our first and only male

1:29

guests on the Crime in Public. So

1:31

yeah, ever, like, wow, what a fucking distinction.

1:34

I know, I'm honored to

1:36

prescribe, prescribe, You're gonna

1:39

prescribe some adderall. I

1:41

also wish to prescribe a

1:43

lot of correct. We

1:46

have all the first episode, our first

1:48

time having a mail guest and our

1:50

first time ding advice, which like, are we qualified

1:53

for no? Definitely not, Well we're gonna

1:55

do it anyway. This is also our first like

1:57

Q and a sort of because we asked

1:59

for a guys on our Instagram and people d mned us

2:01

and now we're going to have a male presence in

2:04

our hands. We've gotten so many d m since

2:06

our last episode. About Finn, just

2:08

like can we see his face? Can

2:10

we hear him? It's like this the big reveal, can

2:12

we touch him?

2:17

Cut it out? So we're

2:20

gonna start with how we met Finn. I

2:22

was in Spanish class freshman year, was

2:25

a freshman year Lash sophomore

2:28

year. I see this kid walking late

2:30

to my Spanish class wearing like pink

2:33

and black cheetah print vans, and

2:35

like it's how the creator sweatshirt

2:37

a pink one with jeans, and I'm like we're

2:40

gonna hate this kid because how the creator

2:43

or like from like best friends. So I made it

2:45

my point to annoy him for the first week of class

2:48

and like now we're chilling. It's like my best guy

2:50

friend. Now he was a skater bowing and such

2:53

a skaterboy doesn't skate? What I Hey, I

2:55

have a skateboard. I can

2:57

you use it. I learned

3:00

skateboard this summer. Congratulations. I

3:03

broke my in half the first time I tried it, and I

3:05

was like seven, I don't like cold

3:08

the sacks. But anyway, I skidded into

3:10

my mom's car and she still doesn't know to this day.

3:12

So if you're listening, it wasn't me said

3:16

it was okay.

3:18

So anyway, he's in my class and we're texting

3:20

my friends. I was like, we're gonna hate this kid or

3:22

I'm gonna like you questioning them because like I tell

3:24

them everything that happens in my life for absolutely

3:27

their reason, Like literally I'll play by play

3:29

of my day. Yeah. I would annoy the ship

3:31

out of him, like the first week, and then

3:33

like it just became chill. And then finally they

3:35

met. I remember how it was

3:37

one night that we went to karaoe. Oh

3:39

my god, yeah, I

3:42

just got dumps. And I was like, bitches were want karaokee?

3:44

Which is in finn car it

3:47

is included in bitches, we don't even have to It's

3:50

I have a question for finn So what

3:52

was your first impression of Sydney?

3:55

So my first impression of Sydney. I walked

3:57

into Spanish class and like, I'm like

3:59

not super talkative, so I was like, how am

4:01

I going to do this right? And so I

4:04

like ended up like accidentally staying next to her.

4:06

And I remember there

4:12

was I was five minutes late to class

4:14

on the first day, you know how it is, and

4:17

and she was wearing a Ramons shirt

4:19

and Doc Martin's and I was like, okay, so she's

4:21

either cool or she only shops at urban

4:23

outfitters,

4:29

like no disrespects, because that's where my cheetah

4:31

print shoes are from. But I was like, okay,

4:33

I think like we could probably get along. And we

4:35

did some terribly terribly

4:38

hard Spanish exercises. Which

4:41

Spanish level are you? Oh? So I

4:43

that was Spanish too, And

4:46

it was my second time taking Spanish too, because

4:48

I was a transfer student. So I took Spanish

4:50

one to three to three four great

4:53

Spanish. Just the kid finished, the kid

4:56

that took Spanish and was like, oh lah,

4:58

my name is spin me known

5:00

brayfin Como a stas

5:02

like he was that one kid that like he

5:05

was like, please talk in Spanish.

5:06

He was like he's

5:09

going to talk to Spanish ever, but like granted, neither

5:11

would I to him. But when she walked

5:14

by, I'd be like, oh my god, like something

5:16

in Spanish, but then be like, yeah, really you're

5:19

talking Spanish. Yeah, we had flash

5:22

together like two years in a row. I

5:25

just know the ship out of him and like now

5:27

we're a mega Sorry if anyone

5:29

here speaks Spanish, Spanish

5:31

means friends. We speak English, I means friends. Was

5:33

the first time what off off the

5:35

record was the first time we met when when Molly,

5:38

I think it was how do you because

5:43

I remember that details? Yea, yeah.

5:47

So we went to a birthday party

5:49

at Finn's apartment and sort of like some of them

5:51

met Finn. It's a very welcoming

5:54

host. Good job if it's a great host, he

5:56

throws an amazing party and like, okay, also

5:58

got to mention when I first saw him, I like God

6:00

had Mark. He's probably on TikTok because he

6:04

like an evoy TikTok guy with like the

6:06

hair and the curly in front hair and like

6:09

the chains and like the oh my god, we'll see

6:11

you once we alo picture

6:13

of him. You're welcome than

6:15

I you wish I'm

6:17

kidding all the girls can

6:20

ask. Let's like, I'll finally post it

6:22

the big reveal. Are we just gonna braid Finns the entire

6:24

episode because I think we should. Yeah, I'm so fucking

6:26

down.

6:30

So we're transitioned to now our

6:33

episode about relationships

6:35

because Finn is like not a

6:37

normal guy in the sense that like

6:39

since Eve been in college, I think our age,

6:42

especially like a lot of guys aren't

6:44

really relationship oriented, like it's more of a cook up

6:46

culture in college or whatever, and Finn

6:48

just no, Finn be different, like I think always going

6:50

to attest to like him, be very gentlemanly

6:52

without like expecting something She's

6:55

very rare for like guys this age. So we're

6:57

gonna like pick apart fans brains

7:00

psychologically because I do have

7:02

a PhD and judging people, so we're gonna

7:04

do that today. I think the

7:06

biggest impression that Finn made on me

7:09

was when we're going after the

7:11

karaoke night whatever, and

7:14

he was literally one

7:16

of the only guys to offer to walk me

7:18

home from the place to my

7:20

dorm or to my apartments, right,

7:23

And I've just never experienced

7:25

that, And what do you what do you think about that?

7:27

Well? I just like New York is like straight

7:30

up kind of a scary place, especially

7:33

for women. So that's you know, yeah, like

7:35

I'm always trying to make sure my like homies get home

7:37

safe. I

7:39

would just like to second that because Finn, you were

7:42

like the only person to ever like not

7:44

even just walk me home, but offer because

7:46

like every guy I feel like in New York is like all

7:49

right, and like I'm like, it's five in the morning,

7:51

there's no one out, but literally people

7:53

like doing crack cocaine right

7:55

now, and like, and you want me to walk home along? Like you didn't

7:57

even make sure I got in my uber safe. And Finn was like, yeah,

8:00

I actually live in the opposite direction, but

8:02

I will walk you thirty minutes home in

8:04

the opposite direction just to make sure you're home safe.

8:06

And I was like, and I feel

8:08

like I'm going against feminism, like being a feminist

8:10

saying this, but it is scary in New York because guys

8:13

do be scary. Well, feminist or not, it's

8:15

still true that like being a small girl

8:17

in New York City is inherently more dangerous

8:20

than being a guy. I think the society is not set

8:22

up for feminism yet. So that

8:25

is such a take. You

8:27

know, Like I Finn I hung out like nine

8:29

bizillion times. He's always talk

8:31

to me at home, and that's crazy because like into

8:34

the data, I've been like like not even like testing.

8:36

You get home and there's like by I'm

8:38

not murdered on the street, and they've been like okay,

8:40

like at listen rid of her. But like I

8:43

feel like, uh, what's that

8:45

word to see? Cunt?

8:50

Is that radio appropriate? It's

8:53

my favorite word of all times? Periods coming to my

8:55

mind, chariot, colloquialism,

9:04

chivalry, Okay,

9:07

going back to King Arthur chivalry,

9:10

So like chivalry is fucking dead. But

9:12

I feel like it's so old for to

9:14

expect guys to close the door for your, open door for

9:16

you, or like walk you home, and like that's so

9:18

weird that like you still do it. As I respect

9:21

it, but like most guys are like bye bitch, and I'm

9:23

like, I feel like you're asking for

9:25

too much if you expect

9:27

a guy to walk home for you or call

9:30

you an over Like that's how I feel

9:32

a lot. So most

9:34

of my friends in like high school, like my closest

9:36

friends. Shout up to Lauren if you're listening,

9:39

love, Um,

9:41

she was like my best friend. And so like a lot of my friends

9:44

like in high school are like have

9:46

been females. So like I feel like I've just been

9:49

able to like see that side of

9:51

like living in New York and being a woman, So

9:53

I feel like it's not too much to ask, Like it's just

9:55

something that should be expected and too many people

9:57

don't do. Okay, So,

10:00

going off what you just said, you were like, I have a lot of friends

10:02

who are females, you know how like girls have

10:04

like a guy best friend verse like

10:07

and vice versa or vice versa versa,

10:09

vice versa. But do

10:12

you believe like girls and guys can like

10:14

be just friends or there's

10:16

like always sexual tension underlying and

10:18

like when the time comes, like you'll hook

10:21

up or date or something. I

10:23

mean, I definitely like from

10:25

from personal experience, like I at least know

10:27

that I can just be friends with girls, right, Like,

10:29

I've had like so many, like most

10:32

of my best friends have like been

10:34

girls. And it's not like I'm like choosing that

10:36

it's just a thing that has

10:38

happened, because I feel like I'm not like trying to necessarily

10:41

get on with people in particular,

10:44

like because of their gender. But yeah,

10:46

I've had so many like amazing female and

10:48

male friends, and I feel like the sexual tension

10:50

doesn't really play a role unless you know you're befriending

10:53

someone because of that. I have a question, So for

10:55

listeners, we have only

10:57

been the girls have only been

11:00

live in New York like three years top. How

11:02

long have you been living in

11:04

New York City? That is such a loaded question

11:07

because people roast

11:09

be because I grew up in Hoboken, New Jersey. Shoutouts

11:12

people are Sydney Sydney roast. I

11:14

mean, Hoboken is just kind of like I

11:17

don't even know where it is. See, I appreciate

11:19

that it's right across the Hudson. If any of y'all

11:21

have watched Carlos Bakery, Cake

11:23

Boss, I'm not trying to I've

11:26

been there and they were like no, most

11:29

like okay, yeah, low Ki. Their

11:31

food not that good. I'm not trying to stock

11:33

all sponsors, but um, yeah,

11:36

so I grew up there. I went to high school in

11:39

the East Village, so I've been like in and

11:41

out of New York since I was there.

11:44

We go. So as a human being

11:46

with vagina, I would like to pissonally

11:49

advocate for the idea that like you can be Franks

11:52

no one not sexual tension, but also

11:54

like I think I had tension with like a

11:56

fucking rock in the sense that like I just

11:58

sectually try sorry

12:03

to rocks. Rocks

12:05

just can't

12:07

rock. Sexual. Um, I think that's

12:10

a tension is like necessarily like a like

12:12

a it's not a sexual

12:14

thing. It's having connection with someone. If you

12:16

had with like girlfriends, guy friends sometimes

12:19

rocks sometimes turtles

12:21

everything you want to do. But I

12:23

feel like the word sexual tension

12:25

is so loaded because like I do have very

12:27

like deep personal connections emotionally

12:30

not physically with like my guy friends without

12:32

being like I want to fuck you want a table like I wouldn't

12:35

mind, but also like if

12:37

we were just friends, I also wouldn't mind. So

12:39

I feel like it's not like I want

12:41

to fuck you thing, but like you happen to like

12:43

connect with someone very well, and it happens

12:45

to either go one way or another type thing. So

12:48

we're saying, like this is sexual tension.

12:50

It's more like you're attracted to like the personality,

12:54

right, not like the horny nous. I feel

12:56

like mine's opposite. Like I have guy friends, and I love like

12:58

our personalities becauther as friends. Like sometimes

13:01

like I do just be a little horny,

13:03

and like my entire mind is like, so

13:05

what's next, Like I'm so sorry. It's

13:08

like, of course, if you're friends with someone in that capacity,

13:10

like you have a connection like deeper emotional

13:12

or whatever, and it might just be that,

13:15

but also you can like find a per physically attractive

13:17

as well, and it never be anything more than like

13:19

it's cool attraction an emotional connection. But

13:22

then sometimes you have a little liqueur, a

13:24

little beer or a little and

13:28

like maybe that connection comes a little

13:30

bit stronger and destrim and sexual attentions.

13:32

But I feel like it's not like you do where

13:34

you don't. It's a spectrum like life.

13:37

So I don't know

13:40

like who you all are friends with. I'm

13:42

just sitting here on a whole another level

13:44

because with my guy friends. It's nothing

13:46

like that. It's literally just us being stupid.

13:49

Is that like a thing too? Because I cannot

13:52

imagine any universe where there would

13:54

be sexual attention, But shout out

13:56

to matt Um, shout out to Brian. I

13:58

mean, these are people that I can complain to, stupid

14:00

to um, talk about other guys with,

14:02

and I just feel like it's that's that's

14:04

it. There's just nothing, nothing there.

14:07

The thing for me is that the only

14:09

difference the distinguished

14:12

from male friends

14:14

and boyfriends is

14:17

sexual attention. I

14:19

think in the differences. In high school, all

14:21

of my male friends were either I ugly,

14:24

was after I h J.

14:27

I mean to say with

14:29

it J. They were under the height

14:32

of five five k All

14:34

of the above were in the KKK. Yeah

14:36

literally they're in K. Or

14:39

they were taken and or gay and or kime

14:41

out kate act. We broke up, so that

14:44

was never an option. But then college

14:47

I was like, Wow, men over the height of five

14:50

have exist. They're not racist, they're

14:52

not potentially closeted gay,

14:54

and they're like

14:57

that one it's

15:00

is that something you have to worry about? Like okay,

15:03

But actually, my ex boyfriend came out to me is gay

15:05

and then we dated. So I think that's low key

15:08

on my fault. I think a little,

15:10

just a little, a little. But hey, I

15:12

list in Florida, Florida. Something in the air, something in

15:14

the water. Maybe let's ignore that,

15:17

something in the mashed potatoes of public public

15:20

hang on, hang on, quick sidetrack. We

15:22

went to Florida springberk and Sydney

15:25

is hyping up publics for like five months.

15:27

Okay, I get there and it's worse than a

15:29

Kroger anyway, Because a Kroger, I

15:32

thought it was about the whole food. No,

15:34

No, it's like it's more

15:37

like a village goremet you know. I

15:39

thought public was like, all, Okay,

15:43

we go to public. You get I'm

15:46

gonna crying. You get a chicken

15:48

Tinker sub, you get hater ledges,

15:51

you get a sweet tea to go,

15:53

you get efficive cake. Your life is

15:56

made. It's

15:58

for the white people, but the but we we

16:00

enjoy it, we love it, we expect it.

16:03

It's like whole foods compared to it's like wahwah,

16:06

but good and not fucking gas station. Who

16:13

glorified gas station? Eric

16:15

has a Wawa sticker on his laptop. So

16:17

we know where he's We have two males in the room, A

16:19

checking guesses Eric, that's commentary

16:22

about you

16:26

said, wa no cap Philadelphia

16:30

female explain wawa

16:33

wait? Whoa nice

16:36

in my heart? Wahwa is

16:38

Jesus in a store because

16:40

you can go and there's one of those little boobybot

16:43

things on the screen where you can choose to get what kind of

16:45

cheese steak you want, and you can order

16:47

stuff on the screen. You can buy stuff in

16:49

the aisles. And I don't

16:51

know why, because just like public isn't

16:53

really that special, wah

16:55

wah isn't really that special. But I'm

17:00

just is a gas station and both

17:02

these places and you're both overheight. No we're not.

17:05

What was my favorite place on the Girl who shots

17:07

at Trader Joe's Exclusive? Literally back

17:13

to the reality that doesn't it reduces around

17:15

gas stations and our supermarkets. Yes,

17:18

I actually do have a question for Finn

17:21

again or

17:23

Finland is a country again?

17:26

Um? So I always like talking to my

17:28

guy friends. I guess my Finn the

17:30

other day and we were talking about like when you get

17:32

into a relationship as someone like who

17:34

you've been in a relationship with, if there's

17:36

like a minimum like I think girls

17:38

have like a minimum attractiveness the guy has

17:40

to meet and like most of its personality. Oh, Claudie

17:43

is like hella. But

17:45

then like I feel like guys like it's like a set

17:47

higher bar of attractiveness and the personality

17:50

is like not as important.

17:52

What would you say to that? Wait? What do you talk? Are you talking about

17:54

how guys think of girls? Were

17:58

about the girls outside? That's

18:00

what's girls have like a

18:02

like a lesser bar for attractiveness and as a higher

18:04

bar for personality, where guys are the opposite. This is

18:06

the hidden theme of every single one of our episodes, and

18:08

I'm sort of into it because it's so true. Do you mean

18:11

like in general or like me? Because I feel like they're

18:13

both Okay, yeah, so I think

18:16

like not to like knock like

18:18

okay, yes to not guys. I think

18:20

a lot of guys that I know will

18:22

definitely go for someone if they're attractive

18:25

over personality. And I think that's like definitely

18:27

like a societal function of like people

18:30

finding attractiveness, like men

18:32

finding attractiveness as a more important trait

18:34

in women when it's like not necessarily like

18:36

I think personally, Like I definitely

18:39

like do look for attractiveness, but

18:41

like it's also like there has to be personality,

18:43

Like I really like do look for someone that I can

18:45

like laugh with, Like that's my most important thing

18:48

is like I have to like be able to like be talking

18:50

to someone like definitely like think they're

18:52

attractive, but also like it's really really important

18:55

for them to be like, you know,

18:57

someone I can talk to, like make jokes with, who

18:59

can like make fun of me a little and just like

19:01

have like that good back and forth. I think is

19:04

above all elis the most important. Definitely a

19:06

deal breaker. You're really good knows, thank

19:08

you, goodbye? You know you know what I'm driving

19:10

in like bunking on town just

19:13

came out of your what is it middle

19:17

Florida? Like driving the problem each wanted

19:19

to throw up. Yeah, when driving

19:21

the middle of Florida or like in the country, and

19:23

there's billboards that are like you could

19:25

have this nose. It's like before and after.

19:28

Yeah, I thought he has the afternoon. Yeah,

19:30

we have like the nice little slope. You

19:32

have your head to head sound great news, that's

19:35

amazing. You have the knows that people go into the plastic

19:37

surgeon wines. They're like this, I want this to tell

19:41

us, could TikTok famous if you wanted to? Yes,

19:43

I hear a black one. You

19:47

gotta be like, well no, because here's

19:49

the thing. Once we get our TikTok up and running, Finn's going to be

19:51

featured on it all the time, and we're going to get famous in appropriate

19:53

thirty seconds. I would love to

19:55

be TikTok to make the like that kind of money. That

19:57

would be so nice, Like we're gonn

20:00

for the money. I would definitely

20:02

be in that for the money. I

20:04

have a question for your fan. So

20:06

you have said the most male acknowledged

20:09

that looks is more than personality,

20:12

and you clearly disagree.

20:14

Right when did

20:17

you start feeling that way? Well? I think I

20:19

was like definitely like raised in like a very

20:21

progressive environment, Like I grew up in like a

20:23

super liberal place, and you know, like

20:25

I think my parents and definitely like my

20:28

educators and other people I know

20:30

are like outliers in that sense because we

20:32

really talk about kind of those like

20:35

structural kind of inequalities

20:37

that exists in gender. For me at least,

20:39

it was like definitely started in like middle school because

20:41

I and like I'm very privileged, Like I went to

20:43

like a very like nice school and

20:46

like a nice place, and like had teachers

20:48

that were like very passionate. And that's definitely

20:50

not true for everyone. Like so I was fortunate

20:53

enough to be in a very liberal and progressive

20:55

place, and I think it was like really hammered home

20:57

for me when I was going to school

20:59

in New York's City because you're kind of on your own

21:01

and you have to decide your relationship with gender

21:04

and you know, with people and

21:06

in respect to like how you want yourself

21:08

to be viewed. And so I think that's like how

21:10

that happened for me. And they're definitely people who

21:12

really understand it, and like

21:14

I think, you know, growing up in this

21:16

kind of area was what really like made

21:19

me have the view I do. So would you say

21:21

that most New York City schools

21:23

are as progressive as your school,

21:26

I would say it's the school

21:28

is not necessarily like the most important thing.

21:30

Like a lot of New York City schools, like yes, they're baseline

21:33

progressive, but I think definitely

21:35

in terms of like race and gender

21:37

politics, Uh, it's kind of

21:39

like fifty fifty because you know, you do

21:41

have schools that don't acknowledge

21:43

like structural phenomena that are happening

21:46

with race and gender, and

21:48

like even my school, which was very progressive, still

21:50

had a lot of those issues. So I think up

21:52

to a certain point, it's like being exposed

21:55

to the progressive values. But then after a certain

21:57

point it's really like who you

21:59

are and who you're friends with, and

22:01

you know what you choose to listen to and what you choose

22:04

the value. Thank you, so sorry,

22:07

I am a voice. I feel

22:09

like sims like middle school,

22:12

high school, especially with our

22:14

generation, like a lot of guys are willing

22:16

greens in hookup culture because of like

22:18

films like movies, TVs, etcetera,

22:20

like glorified the idea that like, oh,

22:23

like you don't want to be a simple like in a relationship

22:25

whatever, because like you're trying to like wile it out be a ho

22:27

American pie ship American

22:29

pie. Yeah,

22:33

that nasty ass movie that I watched all time I was kids.

22:36

Um, so many guys have been like angry

22:39

with the idea that like oh setting down as for simps

22:41

like anyway till the thirty or whatever. It's

22:43

like being seriously but like you're different

22:46

since of like one you respect women from like a young

22:48

age just so wild to see as

22:50

like a friend or whatever, but also

22:52

like you're in a

22:54

launch term relationship. Sorry to the thirteen

22:57

year old to message defining was single. All

23:00

the those hast finished single, He's not. It's so

23:02

crazy to see that. Like there are guys out there who

23:04

do like value relationships and things like that, Like don't

23:07

just want to be single like bachelor life whatever,

23:09

because like from my perspective, like life

23:11

is so short, Like why would you want to have like deep,

23:14

meaningful connections with people and

23:16

during the time that you have so like what

23:18

is your advice not only the girls,

23:20

but to guys about like going

23:23

past hookup culture or like relationships

23:25

getting into those type of things like deeper connections. Like

23:27

what do you have to say about that? I mean I would

23:29

say definitely, Like you just have to listen to what's going

23:31

on with you. I definitely.

23:34

You know, there is like a place for like hook culture,

23:36

and like it's like totally understandable people don't

23:38

want to settle down. Like I think there's a difference between

23:41

like respect in hookup culture

23:43

and then people just like doing it

23:45

to have sex. But

23:48

I think you really should like listen to what's going on with

23:50

you. Like, I definitely like went

23:52

into my relationship like not sure

23:54

if it was going to be a long term thing. But like

23:56

when I started dating my current girlfriend,

23:59

who's very amazing, Um,

24:02

I just like, you know, I didn't like go in

24:04

looking for something, and once I

24:06

was like in a relationship, I realized, like I

24:08

really do love this person. And so I think a lot

24:10

of people tend to like kind of ignore

24:13

what's happening because they think that things should

24:15

be one way or the other. Um.

24:17

Question about your relationship specifically,

24:21

were you guys friends before? How

24:23

did it happen? So this

24:25

is like the shortened version. She was

24:28

best friends with my best

24:30

friends girlfriend, and so we met

24:33

one time. We were like kind of friendly,

24:35

and then we hung out and then

24:38

we eventually got together. But we weren't

24:40

really like friends beforehands that much.

24:42

Like we we had like known each other, but only

24:44

for like two weeks. And yeah, so

24:46

I do have a question actually, and this is

24:49

something that I feel like because

24:51

I'm gonna I'm gonna pull my persona again. I went

24:53

to Girls on the school and so

24:55

I feel like I haven't had the

24:57

life experiences that you have. Basically,

25:00

do you think that you can work up to attraction

25:03

with the person, like if you don't click right away

25:05

or do you think, um, it's it's something

25:07

that when you meet a person, it has to click and you

25:09

know you're in it, you know, for good or

25:12

yeah, is it a bad basically, is it a bad

25:15

sign if you don't click right away? What

25:17

are your thoughts?

25:19

That's a really good question. I'm definitely not qualified

25:22

to give advice on this. I think I

25:24

think you know, in my experience,

25:27

I have definitely seen it go both

25:29

ways. I think it's definitely easier if

25:31

it's like instant attraction because I think you know,

25:33

that's like you have definitely a building block

25:35

for that. Um. But you know, I

25:38

think there also is definitely a place for like

25:40

getting to like know someone and like I've

25:42

like been in situations where someone's

25:44

like not like I thought I'm attractive and

25:46

like trying to like work up and you know it like

25:48

definitely does happen. I just

25:50

think you know, that's something where like again when I was talking

25:53

about, like you really like personality

25:55

does play a big role in relationships and that takes

25:57

more time to develop because I think, like

25:59

me personally, I've been in situations where

26:01

I haven't taken a step back and I've been like,

26:03

oh, like I'm talking to this person like they're

26:05

definitely into me, and I was just like not

26:08

able to see what the kind of outcome

26:10

was. Uh. And so it's definitely really

26:12

hard, but I think being critical of yourself

26:14

too is really important and kind of figuring

26:16

out what's going on. Obviously you don't

26:18

represent all male species,

26:21

but like for you, what this

26:24

distinguish female friends

26:27

and girlfriends their pussies?

26:31

I can't

26:33

say anything about that. I

26:35

mean, it really just depends on what

26:37

you're looking for, Like I think, to a certain extent,

26:40

like you definitely need to be looking

26:42

for someone in

26:44

kind of that way, like do you see a relationship with

26:46

them? And I think for me, like my female

26:48

friends, like all of you guys are like people

26:50

who are like I really enjoy hanging out with, Like I have a

26:52

lot of fun with and like you know, we just like do

26:55

fun things up and in a relationship,

26:57

it's like one is like someone who I

27:00

really really click with their personality in

27:02

like a way that I think is like super like would

27:04

make me a better person. Um,

27:06

and like I'm also attracted to them and

27:08

I think that, like I want to spend more

27:11

time with them than with my friends. Like I

27:13

really do, like love all of my friends,

27:16

but you know, like I live with a lot of

27:18

my friends as roommates and stuff, and so you

27:20

know, you do need a break from friends occasionally. So

27:22

I think being in a relationship, you need definitely a little

27:24

bit less of a break from someone. So for you

27:27

friends and girlfriends, is it clear

27:30

divide Like there's a boundary. Yeah, there's

27:32

definitely a boundary. And I mean I have had friends

27:34

who then I've had feelings for, Like it definitely

27:37

can change between like being

27:39

friends with someone and being in a relationship with

27:41

someone and like wanting to be in a relationship with

27:43

someone. You know, it can happen, and

27:45

it's just something that you're gonna, like, you

27:48

know, experience if you do. Okay,

27:50

so your standards a little bit

27:53

different than I guess mine,

27:55

I would say, because what are yours? I

27:57

mean, the only thing difference is

28:00

sexual attention. That's between

28:02

friends and relationship. What so

28:05

yours is more like I'm willing to spend

28:07

more time with my partner rather

28:10

than my friends. Yeah, and definitely, like

28:12

there is like that sexual component, but it's not

28:14

like everything and potential network.

28:17

Good bye. Jumping off of

28:19

what you were just talking about, how like you want to spend

28:21

more time with you your dating, Like I completely get

28:23

that for you. Like, how important

28:26

is it that like your girlfriend or significant

28:28

other gets along with your friends? What

28:31

a good question. That was such

28:33

a good fucking question. But I'm also not

28:35

like the same kind of friends like Jay and James

28:37

are, but like we don't want to get them along. Yeah, No, I

28:40

think that's like a really good question. And

28:42

you know, I definitely do want when I'm dating to

28:44

get along with my friends, But I

28:47

think that's not necessarily going to

28:49

be such a huge problem

28:51

if you know you're dating someone who

28:53

likes you. Because I don't know about like you guys,

28:56

but I think, like, definitely, like my

28:59

friends are pretty accepting of who I

29:01

like and vice versa, So

29:03

I feel like there is that big common ground that's

29:05

super easy to build friendships off of, and sometimes

29:07

it does happen, And I don't think that's a terrible thing,

29:10

you know, unless they like, if your friends hate

29:12

every single or if you're significant

29:14

other hates every single one of your friends, and

29:16

it's like, for like no reason, that's

29:19

one thing. But if you know, if occasionally

29:21

people don't get along, that's fine. I think what's

29:23

most important is that they respect that your friends

29:26

with your friends and vice versa. I

29:28

feel like if you stay true to

29:31

what you are or who you are

29:33

with your friends and to your like

29:36

girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, they

29:38

should just get along fine because

29:40

you stay true to who you are with it

29:42

on a phonecase and glitter, stay

29:45

true to yourself.

29:49

Wait the thing

29:51

called you just said? We said complete two completely

29:54

different quotes. Yeah, others

29:56

to me? That's me too, straight

30:00

up, Finn, straight up? Just how

30:02

do you deal with the fact if you like someone that they don't

30:04

like you back? What's the game plan? You

30:09

cry? You watch the notebook? Or

30:11

dear John, that's what girlfriend?

30:14

Wait? Why

30:16

am I thinking of just a small town girl? Sorry?

30:19

Interlude? Okay here it is a

30:22

Meegus Jesus for

30:25

life, to get the man each

30:27

other me

30:31

Jesus. Live in that cheese

30:34

change, you know, the one that's like,

30:37

like you mean it, free your

30:39

mind. It's not enough just to

30:41

dream it. Come o, come o. If

30:45

you don't know what that was, don't

30:47

feel bad because I don't either. Chetus

30:49

to chetus to the

30:51

best one. Don't

30:54

even open your horm map right now? And better

30:58

wait, was that one was um the one

31:01

stepping out on the way and know the rules? Oh?

31:04

Dead long? Yeah? Wait what but last

31:07

episode, I don't know if you guys could hear it, but Sophia

31:09

made something in the freaking microwave

31:11

and it was so loud it

31:14

out. It's a really funny part. She threw spaghetti

31:16

at the cabinet. That

31:18

was today though the

31:21

cabinet. Yeah, but look, you're just hanging on there

31:23

she left it. Did

31:25

you guys come into

31:28

college like wanting relationship

31:31

or like only looking for like hookups or did you want

31:33

to come in like look something serious? Also

31:36

Part two, Part Trays, Part dose.

31:39

Do you think that like movies

31:41

or television, social society

31:43

culture have like warped your idea of

31:45

what you want out of college? And they're like for parents, it

31:47

was like you find your husband and her

31:49

wife and her partner in call, which for us it's

31:51

more like funk around, get fucked, get

31:54

railed, and then enjoy your life then find someone

31:56

after Like what do you guys think you were looking for? Oh

31:58

my god, I'm sorry, it's to jump in because

32:01

everybody knows that I'm like old school. Anyways,

32:03

I came into college and I was like so ready

32:06

for a relationship. I literally thought it was gonna

32:08

be the cutest ship, like we're gonna go to Central Park, if

32:10

we're gonna go to Jets games, we're gonna like no,

32:13

nothing like that. Um, And honestly,

32:15

it just kind of destroyed my

32:18

morale. So I feel like

32:20

I only need a relationship when I have very toxic

32:22

friends. So after I met these ladies, no

32:24

really like, even though they're all going on days

32:26

and ship and I'm sitting in my room alone at night.

32:29

It's good because I went into

32:32

college with a relationship thinking

32:34

that I would make it with well of this ones.

32:37

That's what I thought freshman year. I would like to second

32:39

that, Claudia, thank you. But

32:43

obviously me and the guy

32:46

were not compatible at all. Later

32:48

on that I found out. But I think freshman

32:51

year I had a delusional thought that,

32:53

you know, partner would just be whatever

32:56

I wanted to be. But like, obviously it's

32:58

not what it is. And after

33:00

you grow for a while, you know,

33:03

in college, you find out, Okay,

33:05

maybe I'm a different person, and maybe

33:07

I grow from that and

33:09

maybe the partner that I thought I was going

33:11

to be is not what it is. So

33:14

that's my experience, but I'm not speaking

33:16

for anyone else. That's just me. For

33:18

me, well, because the guy

33:20

that I went into college dating on preature is okay. Now,

33:23

I went to teaching nothing because

33:25

I wasn't cute. I was like, I'm just gonna

33:27

like study on my books and

33:30

then plan on becoming hot before I graduate and

33:32

then marry like fix year old man who has a lot of money.

33:34

However, I end

33:37

up meeting someone this

33:39

sounds so icky. I

33:41

found my prince charm

33:44

and Cinderella.

33:47

She's such a whiny bitch yours

33:50

glass shoes, that's

33:53

um. So anyway, I ended up like meaning

33:56

someone like out of the ordinary, like unexpected,

33:58

like I did see myself being with like longevity.

34:00

Wise, if you come with expectations,

34:03

sorry scratch too, they're was gonna

34:05

be thwarted no matter what. So I feel like you come with an open

34:07

mind, expect the unexpected.

34:09

That's what I did and being happy about it

34:13

sometimes. However, however,

34:16

if your expectations are the fucking

34:18

floor, you're only gonna be surprised

34:20

or you're gonna be like you're gonna know what's

34:22

what you're expecting. You know, that's terrible

34:24

advice. But for me, I'm like, if I have

34:27

high exectations for guys, they're

34:29

always gonna be like ruined because guys suck.

34:31

Unless your name iss Finlay girl give us nothing

34:34

so quickly is like my like, my

34:36

expectations will be on the floor and like they'll

34:38

just make them in hell. Yeah, like in the basement,

34:41

the flood basement, literal

34:43

hell with or Hayden himself

34:46

got it, yeah, like

34:49

ship he was thinking about me. I

34:52

have to completely disagree.

34:55

I am so sorry, but okay,

35:03

you were so adamant here. You were like well

35:06

Sydney about the whole. You know, you

35:08

have these like these sort of expectations and then you go into

35:10

college and like they're sort of like because

35:13

like if you have expectations, if

35:15

they're high, expectations are always gonna be disappointed

35:17

no matter what. I completely agree, And

35:19

I think a lot of that is because of

35:22

the way I think like we grew up, like we were

35:24

always sort of like princesses. The guy is supposed to come

35:26

save you and do everything right, like his life is supposed

35:28

to revolve around you, but that's

35:31

not what you love is and it's not you know, like

35:33

it's a partnership more like and like fairy

35:35

tales provides such unrealistic expectations

35:37

if you think about it. So it's very very

35:39

core. Even though it sounds really like unacademically challenging,

35:42

we've been growing up with that sort of thing since we were literally

35:44

three years old, like with the movies and the storybooks.

35:48

So um, just to get with

35:50

finist on you for a second, I think

35:52

that the core difference between girls and guys growing

35:54

up, it's like girls are socialized

35:57

to aspire it to marriage, aspire to

35:59

a husband, aspired to a ring in a wedding.

36:01

I want emerald cut and I want a lace.

36:04

Yeah. So anyway, for those listening

36:06

for a listening, I already planted out. But for guys, it's

36:08

like I would be a bachelor. I have a bachelor pad

36:11

and do bachelor ship and like take your shirt

36:13

off and do weird ship like that. But

36:15

like so when you grow up, girls like I'm going to college

36:17

and I want a husband, I want to meet a guy at this age,

36:19

etceter etcetera. For guys it's like I'm a funk around

36:22

duever I want until it gets to that

36:24

point of like the differences were like socialized.

36:26

We grew up aspiring to different things

36:29

at different ages, which is why disconnect

36:31

is they're doing in college because everyone's like wanting different

36:33

things, you know. I think the plays along to our expectations

36:35

because it's not just like and I want to hear Finland's

36:38

opinion about this, but it's not just I

36:40

think like, oh, you're an optimist, you

36:43

you want love and you think this certain way, so you're going to be

36:45

disappointed. It's not like about who you are,

36:47

but I think for for women and females

36:49

in general, it's just like, as you're growing

36:52

up, you have this certain perspective, so regardless

36:54

of whether you want to be single, and then you find

36:56

a guy and then it doesn't work out, I think you're going

36:59

to be disappointed and regardless because that's who you grew

37:01

up to be. Also, what's that Beyonce song Flawless

37:03

was a flawless or the

37:05

one she's crying on the phone and she's like, why don't you

37:07

love me? Yeah, It's

37:10

like it goes a little something like, yeah, oh wait, best

37:13

thing I never had, where she's Liker. Yeah,

37:15

yeah, she run around her wedding dressing and guy's ugly as

37:17

fun and she's like, you're bro.

37:20

I knew. I knew that men aren't

37:22

ship when jay Z's camel

37:24

looking ass fucking cheating on fucking

37:26

Beyonce with who fucking Becky

37:30

Beyonce ass on this earth an you fucking

37:32

cheating on her? A piece of ship motherfuckers. For those of you who

37:34

don't like Beyonce, I encouraged you to get

37:36

on that train right now because it revelutionary

37:40

imagineting on Beyonce.

37:41

Who literally

37:43

to that man and Chelsea was

37:45

Beyonce, Rihanna, Yes, I am yeah,

37:48

I'm sure. He's like walking down the street

37:50

and this guy was like, can I break your hair? And

37:53

I was like, no, you like you, Rihanna.

37:55

Second, it's so finn. I would love to get your opinion

37:57

on that. Do you think as a guy growing up, do

38:00

you think that you know, you sort of felt

38:02

those societal pressures as well, And do you think that like

38:04

sort of came from a place where you were very young and

38:06

you are sort of programmed to think in certain

38:08

things when it comes to the love and relationships. Oh, for

38:11

sure, Like you watch all of these you know,

38:13

TV shows and movies, and it's

38:15

always like the guy is either you

38:17

know, doing things a percent right, like

38:19

in a Disney Princess movies

38:22

like that kind of stuff, or you know, the guy

38:24

is a total player who's like going after a bunch

38:26

of different people. Uh, And there's

38:28

like really know in between. Uh. And

38:30

I think now that's definitely changing a little bit,

38:32

but that definitely when I was growing up. And

38:35

I think, you know, part of the problem

38:37

is too that people shouldn't

38:40

setting your expectations really high. It's definitely

38:42

a problem, and I think there are a lot of people

38:44

who can meet expectations. Like I think I'm definitely

38:47

not the perfect guy and like not the perfect

38:49

person, but I do think there is

38:51

like a minimum that everyone should be meeting,

38:54

and there definitely is kind of a minimum

38:56

that a lot of guys do meet. Like I know a lot of

38:58

amazing guys. My roommates are such good

39:01

people, and they're definitely

39:03

like really great to women. And

39:05

I think, you know, more people should be kind

39:07

of held to that minimum standards, which

39:09

shouldn't be called a minimum, because you know, it's

39:11

like it's sadly where

39:14

a lot of people haven't met. That's just why

39:16

I'm saying minimum. But anyway,

39:19

guys, guys, guys,

39:22

some earth shattering news right now. We

39:24

are doing our fucking

39:26

first advice corner. I'm

39:29

fucking crying in public, smiling in

39:31

private, in your pocket. And we

39:34

are disclaimer because we love disclaimers

39:37

for no reason. We are in no

39:39

way qualified to give anyone, not

39:42

at all. But I think amongst how

39:45

dare she? I'm not birth

39:48

control? It's been three hours. Whatever.

39:50

Anyway,

39:53

the combination um,

39:55

amongst the six of us, one of us

39:58

ought to be somewhat right. So we're gonna be give

40:00

it stab at this. And we asked on

40:02

Instagram for like questions

40:04

y'all might have or advice you might want

40:06

from both the female in

40:09

male thin perspective

40:11

on certain issues. So we're going

40:13

to read this out right now. So welcome

40:16

to crying Public's first Advice

40:19

Corner. Sounds awful with the

40:21

K, this one can be with the K. Had

40:24

the advice ali down the side of the street.

40:27

Um, what's what's great?

40:29

Crick what's a cute name? Cutter?

40:39

Punani Punani place? Okay,

40:42

okay, welcome to the cuchie corner. So I can do with advice

40:44

when it's all back because it's cute. I think you should ask the

40:46

first question. Cuchie is cucci is

40:48

Old English for vagina,

40:53

and like should we all I think we should

40:55

all be able to answer and fan but let Financier everyone

40:57

also from the male perspective, Okay,

41:00

I have a question for you. So we did an entire episode

41:02

basically on like girls making the first move

41:05

and like how girls do that? So, like, do you find

41:07

it like attractive when a girl's confident and

41:09

she makes the first move or do you prefer to

41:12

take the reins. I gotta say I really

41:14

enjoyed that episode because it gave me, like I

41:16

think, a good insight into how,

41:20

yes I do listen to your podcast

41:23

that yeah, you're fully roasted me and I

41:25

do listen. I'm just very slow. But

41:29

I think it's definitely dependent

41:32

on the person that's like I'm definitely

41:34

someone who's a lot more shy, So it

41:36

has in the past, like you know, ben hard for

41:38

me, and it's something that like I tend to appreciate

41:41

because I'm a little more like introverted and a little

41:43

more quiet, and I definitely am

41:45

one of those people who is like it feels

41:47

really awkward and like scared when stuff like

41:49

that happens. So I think, you

41:51

know, that's something that I like. But for other people,

41:53

I know they like making the first move. That's

41:55

a good one. One of the most popular questions that

41:58

we got was how do you know

42:00

when a guy is giving you social

42:03

cues or just like regular cues that they're not

42:05

into anymore, not into it anymore. What

42:07

do you think some of the main

42:09

social cues are and how should

42:11

you react to that sort of situation or you can

42:14

do, like as a guy to as a girl, like how do you

42:16

like from your experience or like as a guy, how

42:18

do you think a girl should react. You know, that's

42:21

a tough question. Uh, definitely.

42:23

There are things that I

42:25

would do if I'm interested in someone that

42:28

you wouldn't like normally, do

42:30

you know, like talking to someone at like very

42:32

odd hours, like going out of your way

42:34

to make time for them. I think those are the biggest indicators.

42:37

Just you know, if like the frequency is lower

42:39

unless you've been talking for a long time, and then

42:41

it's kind of understandable why things would change.

42:44

But I think, you know, if someone's like going out

42:46

of your way, like being very nice to you, and then

42:48

it suddenly changes. I think just you

42:51

know, there is kind of things

42:54

shift in a natural direction when you're

42:56

talking to someone, uh, and that's

42:58

different than if there's suddenly switch

43:00

up. But there's

43:02

definitely I think it's kind of

43:05

dependent on the person, Like you have to know who you're talking

43:07

to a little to kind of pick up on those things. But

43:09

for me personally, would be you

43:11

know, going less out of my way to talk to them,

43:13

spending less time, you know, putting that effort

43:15

in a very personal question.

43:17

But did your parents know when

43:20

you were getting into a relationship.

43:22

I'm so weak at

43:29

least my parents will never listen to this, Holm

43:31

was Kryler. You do not know me, however, your son is in

43:33

this podcast. I'm pretty sure

43:35

my mom, no, my parents actually do know about

43:37

this podcast. I'm our

43:42

reach, our reach. Yeah.

43:45

I think I tend to tell my parents

43:47

if I'm serious about something. I

43:50

I definitely am just less of a

43:52

talkative person and I like sharing less, so I'll

43:54

wait so long to tell my parents

43:56

stuff. But there's I

43:58

definitely, you know, will tell him if it's something super

44:00

serious and they're going to come over. Um,

44:03

But that's you know, just like my relationship

44:05

with my parents too, is I kind of just don't

44:07

talk about so much what's going on with me. So

44:11

would you say that when you and your

44:13

current girlfriend got together, you told

44:15

them, Yeah, I definitely

44:17

told them. They had actually

44:20

met her once because we before

44:22

we were officially dating, she was at

44:25

my house with some other people and so they met her.

44:27

But that was definitely another

44:30

whole type of situation because I was

44:32

spending so much time. My parents lived

44:34

in New Jersey and I was spending so much time in the city,

44:36

and they were asking me what I was up to, and

44:38

you know, I was very comfortable in my relationship. And

44:41

definitely as I've gotten older, Yeah,

44:43

and as I've gotten older, it's been easier to talk

44:45

to my parents about that kind of hard stuff. Like when I was in high

44:47

school was really challenging, but now it's more

44:49

of a fluid conversation. So

44:52

it really depends on who you spent time

44:54

with it and how much you

44:57

communicate with your parents. Yeah, like, what

44:59

how do you guys talk about that with your

45:01

parents? Parents someone,

45:03

And I'm like, yeah, like my

45:05

mom every deesel in my life, my dad,

45:08

I could be like a year long relationship and he had no idea,

45:10

No Sam, I had no idea a guy for three years in my school,

45:12

my grandma genuinely asks me how

45:15

big a man's dick is that I'm seeing

45:17

a sorry,

45:22

she wants a diagram, like to draw a little

45:24

picture. Know, she'll be like, she'll be like

45:27

like so like now

45:29

my grandma's like marrying Italian. They got there

45:32

well endow. So

45:34

the next question for everyone plus then

45:37

why slash wind take a quote quote

45:39

break and how can they be handled maturely?

45:42

Can I go first or just like okay,

45:45

So, like I actually took a break recently from like

45:47

a relationship. It was like two years long

45:49

but kind of but not really and it

45:51

got to the point where like it was become a little bit too

45:53

much at the moment. At the moment, it didn't

45:55

kind of suck because, like I know, the idea of breaks

45:58

for a lot of people are like it's stupid, like she need to break someone

46:00

you have like a lot of feelings for However,

46:03

I feel like it's a lot at one time. And

46:06

we did take a break from like being super serious

46:08

for a couple of months, actually a lot of months

46:11

and help relieve a lot of that pressure, and like you got

46:13

to a place now where like I have a lot more positive

46:15

feelings towards that person, and I hope

46:17

they towards me because we got to like separate yourself

46:19

from the pressure relationship from a little

46:21

bit. It's like I do endorse it. It feel like it's

46:24

right for you, Like I feel like you're being dependent on that person

46:26

or no longer an individual in that sense. It's okay

46:28

to take a break to recover yourself, get

46:31

a little bit of distance, and focus on yourself a little bit

46:33

more than you would if you're still like

46:35

fully in it. I do,

46:38

however, think that you take a fucking

46:40

break, make some fucking guidelines,

46:42

some borders, some distinctions. Because Briggs

46:45

has such like an open meaning,

46:48

it could be like one person is they're open relationship.

46:51

One could be that they're closed but not talking as much.

46:53

So if you take a break from your significant

46:55

other, like make some boundaries, some guidelines,

46:57

some rules before you do it, so that it doesn't affect

47:00

your relationship later along in

47:03

the timeline, because there was no clear distinction

47:05

in the first place. Just

47:08

because when me and like my

47:10

ex plan to go

47:12

on a break We never never

47:14

ever talked about how

47:17

long it's going to be, what kind of

47:19

rules we're going to follow. We

47:21

just kind of assumed, Okay, a break, a week

47:23

break is when we won't

47:25

talk to each other, that

47:28

that was it. But like, if you

47:30

think about it, it's not going to contribute

47:32

to whatever you're going to have in the

47:34

future or whatever whatever you had

47:37

in the past. So the break

47:39

was kind of just like a

47:42

period that you kind of stopped thinking

47:44

about each other and think about what your future

47:47

is going to look like. So obviously, if

47:49

you want to do that, go ahead. But

47:51

I'm just saying that if you want to continue

47:54

their relationship, you should think

47:56

about what kind of rules you should follow,

47:58

what kind of guidelines you all or

48:01

you both agree to. It's not

48:03

ending it. So let's take a pause, let's reconvene,

48:05

take a breath, so that we can better the

48:08

future relationship so that it has

48:10

more longevity. Not let's take a breaka missie,

48:12

I want to suck another coucie or not.

48:15

We All three breaks that I've ever

48:17

taken with anybody has been because the other

48:19

person wanted to get with someone else. So

48:21

I don't really believe in breaks. Personally,

48:24

not to say that breaks don't exist or breaks can't

48:26

be healthy, because I think they can. But

48:28

just in my experience, especially if you don't make a

48:30

list of sort of like guidelines is

48:32

that you guys were talking about, then

48:34

it's just not It is useless.

48:37

And I also think there's a difference between taking

48:39

a break and immaturity. Yeah, I think

48:41

some people disguise their

48:44

immaturity as breaks because

48:46

they're just not mature enough to

48:48

deal with whatever happens

48:50

when it because then

48:52

then they then they funk up and they're like, oh no,

48:54

yeah I got with someone else hoops, and they

48:56

they're like too afraid to be like I just genuinely

48:59

don't have feelings for you, and they're like

49:01

I was never ready for a relationship

49:03

for your record, yeah, but

49:06

that's never truth. So I hate when

49:08

people are like, it's just not the right time,

49:11

like I need to break, because my whole thing

49:13

is if COVID taught me anything besides

49:15

wear a mask, it was that like things

49:18

like can come life in general. It's gonna

49:20

be so sad for a second, but do it

49:22

anyway. Everybody starts crying right

49:24

now, crying a public, crying in public,

49:26

product, like things can come and go just a flash,

49:29

Like life is so unexpected and so short and so unguaranteed.

49:32

Why would you not want to like dive in follow

49:34

someone you have a connection with and try and

49:36

be absorbed in that moment,

49:39

in those feelings, in that relationship while you

49:41

can, because like probably can get it by a bus

49:43

tomorrow, like you never fucking know. So, like, I don't

49:45

believe in anythya the time's not right because time's never

49:47

right. Life is always changing, life's always doing

49:49

something out of your way. So like the idea that

49:51

like, oh it's not right time in my life, like it's never be the right

49:54

fucking time. But if you love someone and you're

49:56

blessed enough to have some connection with, why not

49:58

fucking go for it? Shoving back to what's Sarah

50:00

said, I would just like to say, hiking

50:02

back, skipping back, backing, And

50:06

um, I honestly personally don't

50:08

think breaks are like legit in my experience.

50:11

I feel like whenever I took a break, it was like a fake break and we

50:13

were actually still together the entire time, or

50:15

it was like I'm gonna go hook up with someone else break

50:17

and I'll be okay. Because we were on a break, like

50:20

the raw scene with Rachel from Friends

50:22

when he was like, we were on a break.

50:25

Yes, that is what I always

50:27

think of and jumping onto that because like

50:29

you guys were like, oh, they always end up getting with someone else.

50:31

What are your thoughts on like open

50:34

relationships, like do you think

50:36

they're possible? Like would you ever

50:38

do want? And like what are your opinions

50:40

or experiences on them? Um

50:43

for open relationships that

50:45

I hate, Like I sound so like, oh,

50:48

like you should do what you want, but those are

50:50

definitely something that's person dependent. I

50:52

met people who have done it successfully,

50:54

and I think more often people do not

50:56

do it successfully just because you know, it's like really hard

50:58

not to be jealous, like person I never would.

51:01

I know it does work for some people, and

51:03

then if it works for you, that's totally good.

51:06

H And I think that's a conversation that you

51:08

know you can have with someone and definitely

51:11

shouldn't be something if you want to talk

51:13

about you should bring up. But it's you know, it's

51:15

really it's complicated and it's definitely

51:17

hard. Yeah. I feel like me in

51:20

an open relationship would just be like

51:22

jealousy central, Like I would

51:24

be so jealous, like so unable to do it.

51:26

I'd be like comparing myself to like the other girls,

51:29

like not like I have all these like insecurity

51:31

issues, and I think it can sound but like it's

51:34

just like natural to get jealous and like some

51:36

people can definitely do it. Just for me,

51:38

I don't think i'd be able to because like I'd always

51:40

be like wondering, like, oh, are they going to catch feelings

51:42

for this girl? Like do that like this girl better than me?

51:45

And for me, I just really prefer like

51:47

monogamy. I prefer

51:50

to be open, but only me open and not

51:52

the other person. And I I don't even fun

51:54

anyone else. I just want attention from other people

51:56

because I like attention. That

51:59

sounds a really bad want to say it all out. Yeah, yeah,

52:03

let's erase that. I just think

52:05

that. Never mind,

52:09

I think that no one I don't want to be open.

52:12

However, if the person

52:14

forced you, ton't force you to, I

52:16

can't help but be open. But

52:18

then also it's like some really hot actor

52:20

whose name I can't think of right now, and that who's hot,

52:22

and who's Matthew McConaughey. If

52:27

it was like I'm working right now and being openly

52:29

ship, I would so fucking the

52:33

whole family. He's a whole ass

52:35

hottie too, so he's

52:41

an open relationship. I feel like if somebody

52:44

asked me for that, it would mean I'm not doing

52:46

something to keep them satisfied or happy,

52:49

Like I have a shortcoming that they need to find

52:51

in someone else, and therefore I don't want

52:53

to be with them period. I can find someone else

52:55

too. I just hit in my life like that. I'm so

52:59

for me if that. I feel

53:01

like everyone has difference connections

53:03

with everyone, and if

53:05

the sexual attention is not there,

53:07

you can definitely find something something else

53:10

and like more present. That's in

53:12

my opinion, what's going on. But I feel like

53:14

emotional connection with um,

53:16

if you really truly value that person, if

53:18

you really really really vibrate that

53:20

person, At least for me, I feel like, you

53:23

know, if it happens, it happens, but like

53:25

it's not the most ideal, that's what it

53:27

is. But like I feel like if the sexual attention,

53:30

obviously because of long distance, it's

53:32

not going on. Because of that, I feel

53:34

like I'll be you know, more lenient

53:36

towards that. Now that we spent thirty

53:38

minutes on the same time. Okay,

53:45

Finn, since we're about to wrap up, I'm

53:47

going to target you right now. She's targeting

53:49

with target. If you

53:51

had like one piece of advice to give

53:53

to like any girl, what would your advice

53:55

be. Wow, this is something

53:58

I'm qualified. Yeah

54:02

so I yeah,

54:04

no, I think what you

54:07

know it is most important for me, And definitely

54:09

I think is like just really solid

54:11

advice is to one, make sure you're happy

54:15

above anything else, because you know, like

54:17

you're living you should be living your best life.

54:20

But not only that, you just like treat yourself

54:22

well, like give yourself some slack, because I think people

54:24

tend to like really get in their heads and really

54:27

are like, oh no, if I can just like stick it out for a little

54:29

while longer, it's okay. And like, while

54:31

that is, you know, it can sometimes be true

54:33

depending on your situation. I think

54:36

you deserve the most, like to be

54:38

the most happy. Like it's okay to be selfish

54:40

sometimes, right exactly.

54:42

I think that's not selfish. I

54:44

think that's just there's

54:46

a fine line between self

54:48

love, self care and what you

54:52

selfish and self loving

54:55

yourself and putting yourself first is what you should do

54:57

anyway, do it yourself a mask, get

54:59

yourself a fibrary, get yourself a get

55:01

yourself on

55:05

the Oh

55:07

yeah, dye your hair box dye. I did that.

55:09

Drink some wine, cut

55:12

some bangs, help get some hair in your

55:14

right. Name

55:16

yourself, Finn, be

55:19

a boy d and that's

55:22

true. My name is David, my my god, my

55:24

parents given name. I don't like the expression John

55:27

give an name. I don't understand it. Okay.

55:29

My last question for me is,

55:31

um, what are the someone of the

55:34

tips that you would help to give

55:36

our listeners to help communicate

55:39

with their partners or longlessness

55:42

naked? Okay,

55:46

show you not

55:48

everyone can do kitchy corner fin

55:52

More general for

55:54

long distance is he didn't understand

55:57

Yeah? Yeah, my girlfriend

55:59

goes to pool in Massachusetts during the school

56:01

year. I think definitely

56:04

make time to like talk to them on the phone.

56:06

Like that's one thing I really do like about long distance.

56:08

It's like making that time, not even to like face time, but

56:10

just like you know, if you have like ten or fifteen minutes,

56:12

like talk to someone on the phone, because you really gets

56:15

here about their day and what's going on with them, and just

56:17

like you would like make conversation that you like

56:19

otherwise won't have the time for Definitely,

56:22

I think download like what's called

56:24

like Netflix party, watching TV, and

56:26

just like making time is really important long distance

56:29

uh, and definitely like visiting

56:32

the other person and like having a good

56:34

time when you're together, like trying to do your

56:36

work before all of that kind of stuff. Effort

56:38

is so hot. Effort is so hot.

56:41

Also, like communication,

56:45

I think that the male speach is alertally allergic to

56:47

Like if you gave Manman

56:49

an allergy test and you book communication and bile

56:52

probably explode. But communications

56:55

such like to think that you're playing a little bit of effort into

56:57

like keeping contact people putting low

57:00

up their day or about their interests,

57:02

about what's happening to them. Just a little bit of effort

57:04

and communication. It was such a long way

57:07

and it's so hot and it's so cute and it's so refreshing

57:09

to have someone care about the little things. So

57:12

do that question that you can cut

57:14

it out, but it's forever one. What

57:17

do you think about finding your future

57:19

partner in college? I

57:22

think the age doesn't really matter. If if I

57:24

think, I think not to get

57:26

like super philosophical, but

57:28

your solvehole idea about like when

57:31

you're when like you're gonna humanity happened

57:33

that, like people were connected and

57:35

then they were like torn apart

57:37

by a storm or some ship, and then like you spent

57:39

your whole life trying to find your other half. It's a really

57:41

stupid story. But I feel like connections

57:44

with someone is so rare that like you just like get

57:46

that person, you just love that person. It's

57:48

so fucking rare. It's just like have

57:51

that genuine chemical connection with someone. It

57:53

doesn't matter what age. You could be seven, you could

57:55

be fourteen seven, but

57:57

you just hold hands and to each other's gum,

58:00

and you're like fourteen or sixteen

58:02

or seventy five. You find that connection that's

58:04

so rarely. Just like I love that person,

58:06

not conditionally hold onto it because it

58:09

only comes once in your life. You're not gonna get it again to

58:11

like why give it up because of like arbitrary rule

58:13

about age. So

58:15

thank you for that. This is something

58:17

I'm super insecure about because I come from

58:19

a town where like I've literally feel like everyone's

58:22

been dating for like since sixth grade.

58:24

I kid you not. I know

58:26

a couple that has been dating since middle

58:29

school and they're still together they're the cutest,

58:31

Like it's it's great. And I came

58:33

to college and I look around

58:35

and the selection of men is subpar. It's

58:37

really limited. Like n y U isn't really

58:40

known for I mean, not not bashing

58:42

anyone. If you're out there and you have crushed on me,

58:45

please slide in my d MS you have. You have literally

58:47

no competition. A lot of my role

58:49

models, especially my female role models in

58:51

my community, have found their significant

58:53

others after they've established their career

58:56

in grad school, which I think is all the more powerful.

58:59

So modern women like, yeah, again,

59:05

my experience is it

59:08

wasn't something I expected to happen,

59:10

and I think just it's something that if

59:12

it happens, you'll know, and

59:14

you know you can't be prepared for that.

59:17

Okay, then personal clash. I can take this

59:19

out if you want to. Do you think she is your

59:21

soul mate? Yeah,

59:23

I mean I definitely do. Like I've

59:26

been dating Elona. I'm

59:28

sure if we're gonna listen to this altogether in my

59:30

apartment, which will be a lot of fun. But

59:33

hi everyone, Hi Alona,

59:35

I have seen a long time. Yeah, you guys,

59:38

we have to. I mean, one of you guys want to come to Brooklyn.

59:40

Sorry, this is off topic. Yeah,

59:43

you guys should all come over. We can. This

59:45

is okay, this is not the podcast.

59:48

We have a very nice like someone who

59:50

just moved in brought a bunch of ship to our roofs, so we have

59:52

like a firepit, like a little seating area on

59:54

hand. Yeah,

59:57

of course, guys, thank you so much for listening

1:00:00

in to this episode. Um Finn says

1:00:02

thank you with all of his whole heart. Um,

1:00:04

You're welcome. We love you. Make

1:00:06

sure to follow our Instagram at Crying in Public Podcast.

1:00:09

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1:00:11

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1:00:13

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1:00:15

That helps us out more than you know. If

1:00:18

you want to keep hearing us, go ahead and do that because

1:00:20

we love you guys. Also, if you see us in public,

1:00:22

but don't be afraid to reach out,

1:00:24

we don't fight. Say hi. We

1:00:26

um have had the best interactions with you guys

1:00:29

so far, and we love you. Thanks

1:00:31

so much for Budy go

1:00:33

Eagles good a wait is it called Eagles?

1:00:38

Sorry the Eagles?

1:00:40

Are you ready? Yeah to jig, Yeah,

1:00:43

we got our hands at higher feed them. See

1:00:48

the apple bulgames is about a meal prostitute. They were

1:00:50

like go single