0:00

you guys walking back to the dad tired podcast today,

0:02

we are continuing series on what

0:04

it like to be a spiritual leader in your home

0:06

really practically this is part two of a

0:09

two-part series so if you missed last week, definitely recommend

0:11

that you can download that, man

0:13

listen to that one before you jump into today's

0:15

episode also, if you listen to

0:17

last week's episode and you listen to today's

0:19

episode in your like man, this is really good,

0:21

i feel encouraged but i

0:23

just need more like i just need somebody

0:26

to like give some really practical

0:28

stuff on how to leave my family dejesus

0:30

we have those tools we have that

0:33

was called the family leadership program this is a

0:35

four week course where you go through

0:37

with a group of guys are going to be course guys paired

0:40

up with you and some other guys in your cohort

0:43

were really get a challenge you and push you towards

0:45

daily practical steps in

0:47

leading your family well week one where can just talk about

0:49

you what it looks like for you as a man to love jesus

0:52

we do we're gonna talk about what does look like for

0:54

you as a husband to lead your wife toward

0:56

jesus week three reenter about what is it look like for

0:58

you to lead your kids or jesus

1:01

and and lastly we were going

1:03

to talk about what is it look like to be on mission

1:05

at work to see the gospel transform the way

1:07

you think about war then after

1:09

those four weeks you're still part the program you'll jump

1:11

into the monthly live trainings you'll stay

1:13

connected with your cohort near course guys

1:15

and everyone else that's part of the program

1:17

that in a continuation of the program

1:19

even after the four weeks for the first four weeks or

1:21

intense like you you commit to i'd

1:24

say realistically tend to thirty

1:26

minutes a day to get after the homework

1:28

there's daily bible reading plans there's

1:31

an assignment for you to watch and

1:33

then there's some homework to do then there's

1:35

some stuff the process with your course guy you

1:37

can go as you know at your own pace

1:39

so if you want to take those four weeks and spread

1:41

amount over four months of four years at soy up

1:43

to you but he writes i just tell you

1:45

that causing a lot of guys are like you listen to podcasts

1:47

new love it and it's helpful for you and encouraging

1:50

to you you just a minute i just

1:52

need to make a really really practical me what

1:54

to do day one tell me what to do day to

1:57

indicate things of that's you you feel like

1:59

you just you're ready to

1:59

have some

2:00

more practical tools the

2:03

would not have you join our program what you'd jump

2:05

and if you were to sign up today you would jump in on the

2:07

first of the next months or whatever you

2:10

start the first of every month is how that

2:12

that works for me have a small group your

2:14

cohort that you go through every month with those group

2:16

of guys anyway if you have any questions on

2:18

that hit us up and let us know we we'd be happy

2:20

to answer those forty if you ready to dive and you can go to

2:22

data are dot com forward slash lead eli

2:24

eighty li the startling

2:27

your family wealth that a with all that said the

2:29

same into week to have what it looks like to lead

2:31

our family well when it comes to school to leaders

2:39

the us and we talked about the attitude

2:42

of spiritual leadership and some of the myth

2:44

that kind of surrounded that to be

2:47

a spiritual leader of your household you should be waking

2:49

up every morning before dawn and

2:51

making sure that you're executing the original

2:53

greek at all times and that all

2:55

your kids have a home school education

2:58

in the original latin you know like all

3:00

these is kind of crazy stuff and without

3:02

a proper guideline or without

3:04

a kind of a can and are measuring

3:07

stick we don't really know how we're doing sometimes

3:09

in this category and so i want to a simplify

3:12

it for us by using scripture and

3:14

be not over simplify it or it's

3:16

make it so easy that for gonna let off

3:18

the hook with that were called to be as fathers

3:21

and as husbands and so what does spiritual

3:23

leadership look like and so

3:25

last week we talked about the attitude of

3:27

a spiritual leader we looked at flipping shepherd

3:29

to and what jesus consider to be a proper

3:31

attitude of leadership we talk

3:33

about closest leadership about birthday

3:36

birthday expectations the difficulty

3:39

of been a husband and a father and

3:41

that means for all of us and had a burger look

3:43

at what are some of those actions what are ways

3:45

that we are able to in

3:48

the categorically look at our lives

3:50

and say how am i practicing the

3:52

work of spiritual leadership

3:55

in my household in what are some of those tips

3:57

that i could walk away with or it's simple thing

3:59

they could put an upright this may be are you new

4:01

to face or you're new to caring

4:03

about that you are the spiritual leader

4:06

of your household and you really want to dive

4:08

into what that looks like better if you

4:10

want to turn with me once again we always want a gram

4:12

what we say in scripture so that doesn't

4:14

become a self help book or the gospel according

4:16

to chris but instead what the scriptures tell

4:19

us so if he ever bible to bring an open the

4:21

second corinthians chapter five so

4:23

my favorite chapters the bible synchrony

4:25

sector five it it contained

4:27

my favorite first in the bible which

4:29

is second for these five twenty one which

4:31

says god made him who had no sin

4:33

to be sin for us so that in him

4:36

we might become his righteousness

4:38

but it's all about sing capsule

4:40

he did in the context of

4:42

a greater chapter one of most helpful things

4:45

that you can ever have as a spiritual

4:47

leader of your family is when you go to read

4:49

scripture or if you are doing

4:51

a devotion or something else like that i had

4:53

a professor one time tell me and it's stuck

4:55

with me ever since never read a bible verse would

4:59

you gonna backwards because you think wait shouldn't be

5:01

tell me to read more bible verses but it's his

5:03

point was readable paragraphs read

5:05

bible sections but

5:07

don't read the bible verse bible verse without

5:09

context is almost you can make the bible

5:11

say almost anything you want if you read bible

5:13

verses yellow really

5:16

hard time manipulating the texts if you read

5:18

bible paragraphs bible sections or

5:20

books or the bible so that we want to be able

5:22

to do so we start here and second instructor

5:25

side

5:26

it said

5:28

the sixteenth

5:29

the no one we regard no

5:31

one more worldly point of view though

5:34

once we regarded christ in

5:36

this way we do so no longer before

5:39

if anyone is in christ the

5:41

new creation as com the old creation has

5:43

gone the news here this is

5:45

from god okay so it's saying

5:48

if you are in christ and that's again that's a starting

5:50

point for all conversations of spiritual

5:52

leadership and leading our families

5:54

and maybe you're not adidas follower and you're listening

5:56

to this the bible seems to indicate

5:59

that the our that we have to lead our

6:01

families spirits is other we kits mimic

6:04

as nonbelievers what use is called us to do

6:07

it's that the source by which in the

6:09

spirit in which were empowered to do these

6:11

things comes exclusively

6:14

the the spirit of god and our life so it's

6:16

not that as nonbelievers we can mimic these

6:18

things it's just out of the

6:20

the pure in his of the spirit of god

6:22

brought able to tap into the strength

6:24

and the source of what gives us the power

6:26

to do these things so it says therefore

6:29

it begins if anyone is in christ

6:32

there a new creation the fact

6:34

of you do the things in in the negation if anyone

6:37

is not in price they are not a new

6:39

creation their part of the old self

6:41

description talks at the old adam this old

6:43

way of thinking then again

6:46

all you can do that is mimic and mock

6:48

what someone in christ should do

6:51

but you won't actually be tapping into power

6:53

of the spirit in your life all this

6:55

is from god who reconciled

6:58

hey that's the same what we would use like fixing

7:00

a relationship so genesis chapter

7:02

three says there was a war between

7:05

god and mankind because we

7:07

committed treason against god we were

7:10

in our nature at war we were

7:12

enemies romans tells us we are enemies

7:14

with god

7:15

but

7:16

chapter five of roman says

7:19

from his fibrous a big got demonstrates his love for us

7:21

in this while we're still sinners christ died

7:23

for us to we were enemies and then

7:25

god reconciled us to himself

7:27

by his death lacrosse he paid the price

7:30

of the war that we started then in his

7:32

resurrection he promised us a newness

7:34

of life in him there were able

7:36

to tap into now we don't experience

7:39

heaven when we die we get the start experiencing

7:41

it now not in the pain

7:43

free suffering free grief

7:45

free life but we the tap into

7:47

heaven now because we have christ enough the

7:50

increase in us is what we can expect the rest of

7:52

eternity and john seventeen says we

7:54

have that

7:55

now

7:56

so we look forward to the kingdom of god some

7:59

day in it's former the right now we're

8:01

still able to experience it because we're able

8:03

to have god living inside of us the

8:05

reconcile the us to himself to christ and gave

8:07

us than the ministry reconciliation so

8:09

as dad's we've been given the

8:12

ministry the ability that the power

8:15

and spirit we have it on

8:17

call to be ministers

8:19

of reconciliation a minister is

8:21

is someone who who gives or who

8:23

administrators or who

8:26

execute reconciliation

8:28

you did that god was reconciling the

8:30

world to himself and crisis guy was doing

8:33

god used jesus who

8:35

make peace with the world that the that says

8:39

instead of counting people's sins against them

8:41

instead of holding them copa born accountable

8:43

and judging them and punishing them for their

8:45

sins god held

8:48

jesus accountable and caught the ball and

8:50

punish him for our sins that

8:52

he has committed to us the mess a reconciliation

8:55

are just the mystery of a but also the message of

8:58

we are therefore price

9:00

ambassadors the jesus came

9:02

as an ambassador for the kingdom of god the

9:05

game and he made himself nothing and he took

9:07

the form a surfeit and he was executed in crucified

9:10

to make reconciliation between god

9:12

and mankind the know god has given

9:14

us the ministry of reconciliation

9:16

and we like guthrie ambassador as we

9:19

like christ we're

9:21

going to do the same thing with those around us

9:23

as father's as has been we are

9:25

christ's ambassadors it

9:28

as if the next vs as though

9:30

god we're making his appeal the

9:32

through us as if we were walking

9:34

into walking foreign country as citizens of

9:37

our home country

9:38

then we were

9:39

the ending reconciler in between

9:41

our king and there's between our

9:43

king and the citizens there that

9:45

we have a good great king that all

9:47

mankind has sinned against and we

9:50

as ministers a reconciliation as ambassadors

9:52

we put on the robes of our home country

9:54

would put on the robes of righteousness of jesus christ's

9:56

we walk to the foreign countries that's

9:58

the sinners and the simple people around us including

10:01

but not limited to our own family

10:04

we walked up to them as ambassadors

10:06

of christ

10:07

then we appeal

10:09

to them

10:10

on behalf of jesus the

10:12

be reconciled jesus we

10:15

implore you on christ behalf that

10:18

me cry the father before anything else

10:20

in your child's life should

10:22

not be god gives them a great wife

10:24

gives him a great has been given the great job

10:26

given the great career it

10:28

would be lord use whatever

10:30

necessary who turn

10:33

their heart to you whatever

10:35

it is it it comes to trial

10:37

through pain through success to joy through

10:39

anything before they are a ceo

10:41

before they are and mbp i want

10:43

them to know you as father god

10:46

may i as father may i as

10:48

dad not seen in the way of

10:51

the great work you're doing in my kid to

10:53

draw his heart towards you may i

10:55

be a minister of that may be

10:57

helpful that process may

10:59

not miss the importance of

11:01

g o d and instead replace

11:04

it with mbp the i care much

11:06

more about his character in

11:08

g o d that is g p a and his mvp

11:11

these are all important letters but

11:13

god is the most important may

11:15

i first and foremost see myself

11:18

as a minister that once

11:20

god on behalf of geez to make peace

11:23

between my son between my

11:25

daughter

11:26

they're save you

11:27

dot if you transform my kid into nothing

11:30

else they achieve

11:32

nothing but they are found in new

11:34

my work as father will be

11:37

complete everything else

11:39

we do flows other the reason that we discipline

11:41

the reason that we want them to go to a good score the recent

11:43

we do all these things is that they would

11:45

know jesus

11:47

that's it

11:48

imagine have a very successful very

11:51

profitable very well liked

11:53

respected member of the community that

11:55

you bring up but they don't know jesus

11:58

they can look forward to a life that was free

12:00

from the suffering of poverty

12:03

and that they would have a great at human

12:05

in that they would be well known in that their voices beats

12:07

persuasive in the community that

12:10

that we knew at the end of their life that they would face judgment

12:13

apart from that would any of

12:15

us as father's ever take that trade we

12:18

are first and foremost ambassadors for

12:20

god the be reconciled

12:23

you guys god made him who

12:26

had no sin to be seen

12:28

for us that we might

12:30

become the righteousness of

12:32

god the in there i think it gives

12:34

a great idea of what are the actions

12:37

the spiritual leader and it's that

12:39

we are ambassadors we ambassadors

12:42

which is a verb to

12:44

ambassador which is a kind

12:46

of a funny word but it means that we

12:49

properly represent

12:52

we are the one in

12:54

charge of demonstrating

12:57

what it's like to be part of

12:59

the kingdom of god can you got it

13:01

invisible our job as

13:03

dad's is to make the invisible church

13:06

the invisible kingdom of god visible in

13:08

our kids life so

13:10

what does an ambassador do how

13:12

do we invested on behalf of god's

13:14

kingdom for our kids ibooks

13:16

hundred for things as we wrap up the

13:19

super cheesy but it's not a difficult as it

13:21

may seem a s a

13:23

m which has not already spell seen like this

13:26

but more like seem like a book or

13:28

whatever but i think of the word seen as

13:30

a m the great way that i've used in my

13:32

life to remember what does it mean to be

13:34

christ and basket or as a father and

13:36

as a husband as a

13:38

hamburger cases the cross stitch i feel like i have

13:41

to have simple things and kind

13:43

of mnemonic device is in my life so

13:45

that the difficult parts my day i don't have the going

13:47

poet my binder and figure out what this

13:49

guy talked about but instead i can just drop to minds

13:52

this was this has been really helpful for me when

13:54

i met my best when i'm embezzling for christ

13:56

best here's what i'm doing

13:59

here's what

13:59

to embarrassing for

14:02

christ

14:03

simply put it when paul talks about incessant

14:05

he says follow me that

14:08

follow jesus i really

14:10

think that's the action of spiritual leader follow

14:12

me as i follow jesus which

14:14

is scary because of our families following

14:16

us and follow his anywhere they can also follow

14:19

us into bad thing so we want to be well aware

14:21

of what we're doing and how we're doing it the

14:23

burden we place in ourselves and we say the phrase to

14:25

our family follow me like i follow jesus

14:28

the names will hold us accountable and

14:30

make sure that we are culpable to our actions

14:33

and behavior in the things that we do the

14:35

bible doesn't say every day you need to get at five

14:37

thirty and make sure you you start your day in prayer

14:40

everyday you need to make sure that you are

14:43

teasing out and old ancient him and it's original

14:45

language is it it it he doesn't say that

14:47

we need to make sure that we're in a one as be times a week

14:49

and that our kids are winning the a one

14:51

is trivia able to be a championship

14:54

this is not woods or that cannot be good

14:56

things out of know but they want to seem to have a job

14:58

in itself as soon as the good things in our life

15:00

for sure that's

15:02

what you feel like you're calling his as

15:04

christ's ambassador or if we're that's the

15:06

only way the only discipline that you can

15:08

think of to keep you on track with ambassadorship

15:11

for christ then by all means do it the

15:13

bible does not implicate us on that

15:16

they didn't talk about that and it wouldn't make sense

15:18

for a first century do who's reading

15:20

the track to think like that because

15:23

they would never act the to a bible personally

15:25

though the bible can't mean that

15:28

the only way this is for wives to

15:30

for listening to this that her husband possibly

15:33

can match up to what it means be a spiritual

15:35

leader is that we're having daily devotions

15:38

and we're diving deep into what i'd i'd say

15:40

what i'm a pastor and i'd take

15:42

the word of god very very very seriously

15:45

the outset of a few times where it's

15:47

fit into what we're doing this is

15:49

not what i'm doing i'm not holding daily

15:51

devotions with my family instead

15:54

i modeling and modeling pasadena

15:56

for christ's work in my life

15:59

and again i never want to make the bible

16:01

seymour that says i don't

16:03

think that simple and for us this is what jesus took

16:05

issue with with the ferriss the fares these

16:07

took the law they took the simple commands

16:09

of god and they added sensors around

16:12

them right from the bible says don't

16:14

dance or the premises don't have premarital sex

16:17

or vs would say well done don't dance because

16:19

dancing scan the degeneration generation

16:22

to lead a lust and lust can lead to

16:24

premarital sex therefore no dancing of

16:26

i wouldn't censor jesus came toward another fences

16:29

and he said my law was good my

16:31

petitions were good the way that i

16:33

am asking you to lead your family is good

16:35

you don't even make new rules then

16:37

we don't need to hold people accountable to the rules

16:39

that maybe your dad did that

16:42

you know think this is what all men must do

16:45

really i think what we should hold on to live

16:47

us in the last one do they have the attitude of jesus

16:50

that to have been to doctor about to the show

16:53

meekness power under control or the a humble

16:55

man it certainly do the

16:57

ambassador in their actions do they show

16:59

the work of jesus in the whether they act and hear

17:01

the way that here's a here's the arguments

17:03

i could probably make from scripture simply that

17:06

show this is what it means to

17:08

ambassador in into act as a spiritual

17:10

whatever family the first one again

17:12

it's it the academic news is seen as

17:14

the a and the first one is to seek gospel

17:17

to netease gospel kennedy's are gospel

17:19

opportunities in our families gospels

17:21

unity a lot of the times as a father

17:24

is moments where our kids slip up or mess

17:26

up the can also be an opportunity let's

17:28

say you're watching a movie that has some steam

17:31

in it that goes against

17:33

who jesus is or maybe you're watching

17:36

cs lewis's chronicles of narnia

17:39

and you can do the opposite you can pause it

17:41

and go okay the plan who

17:44

had always strength of alliance and all the power

17:47

that comes and way more powerful in the white which

17:49

why did he lay himself down on

17:51

that alter humiliate himself

17:54

an allowance of to be executed who

17:57

deserve to be on the altar right

18:00

who deserve to be up there why

18:03

weren't they have their instead these

18:05

are the way that we can show gospel tuna these

18:07

it's pointing conversations back to

18:09

jesus editing what paul does it over

18:11

and over again and just as the same thing he's walking

18:14

along in the desert and he

18:16

comes upon ab a garden and he says

18:19

the kingdom of garlic a farmer who had some seeds

18:21

a jesus is constantly pointing

18:23

his people towards gospel thanks

18:27

the father i would be remiss

18:29

to let days go by without reminding

18:32

my kids that the world

18:34

that we see is not the way it seems

18:37

the siemens of this world are not primary

18:39

they are not prim they are not that the point

18:42

though the moments like and taken see something

18:44

in a movie that goes against what we believe

18:46

as christ followers and i can pause the movie and

18:48

say guys as for me and my household

18:50

here's what we believe concerning this this is what jesus

18:53

cause us to the can be seated

18:55

happened over nobody we see paul do it with

18:57

the paul offer correction an admonition

18:59

we see jesus do the same thing he takes

19:02

simple things every time until the parable

19:04

it's an earthly store that has a heavenly meaning

19:07

he points conversations to heaven

19:10

how can i share the gospel right now

19:12

this is what it means to seek gospel tuna

19:15

eighties and were disciplining our kids

19:17

we want to align with the sin

19:19

of their life and say but i

19:21

saw you hit your sister and trust me i

19:24

know what it means a loose of control i

19:27

do it all the time i mess up

19:29

all the time in god forgive me for

19:31

it and inside you buddy is

19:34

the same power that is able to resist

19:36

what you just did sometimes

19:39

it our flesh we do what's contrary

19:41

to our but we do the wrong thing even though we know

19:43

the right thing is been is that what just happened the

19:46

oh god loves you and god god forgives

19:48

you and i forgive you the consequences

19:51

for her actions and that's where we're going experience

19:53

discipline right now but i want you know

19:55

that you are loved you accepted

19:57

and you belong here the

19:59

the

20:00

the gospel communities when we lead

20:02

our family well we seek those on a daily basis

20:05

in the second one he asked his

20:07

seek gospel to me second is engage

20:09

readily the way that the greeks described

20:12

their gods was apathy they

20:14

are gods you were apathetic who are far

20:17

off i would guess if you look

20:19

at modern father and on television

20:22

you could describe in the same way

20:24

it's the peter griffin's the homer simpson's

20:27

the guys from modern t v or cartoons

20:29

or king of the hill or bob's burgers these

20:31

these men are apathetic they're not engaged

20:34

they see children as a burden they

20:37

they're excited for night that with the guys they have no

20:39

responsibility and all those moments can

20:41

be fun we need to find

20:43

deep meaning the

20:46

engagement and net meaning

20:48

in moments where we are free from engaging

20:51

your free from responsibility how to engage

20:53

readily it means i'm i'm aware

20:55

and attentive of what my kids

20:57

needs are and what they're struggling with

20:59

him with their attitudes are and whether disrespecting

21:02

my wife when they're disobeying

21:04

when there are in when they're being dishonest there's

21:06

one thing that i've noticed when i talk to

21:08

people i i do some like premarital counseling

21:10

in that i also get to do had the honor of

21:12

getting to walk through some young families and

21:15

do some workshops and parenting worked as a

21:17

discipline workshops and how to carry

21:19

out discipline properly this is my favorite things

21:21

to do but i hear people say sometimes i

21:23

watch my kid do this and i just ignored it because

21:25

i didn't want discipline them as if the

21:27

authority of discipline

21:30

has been given to them as parents

21:33

you decide whether or not they want to execute the

21:35

discipline and it's not god

21:37

has placed us as ambassadors

21:40

and when our kids break our laws

21:42

when they break the laws of our household

21:44

they're also breaking god's laws in

21:47

dot has it imminent permission to let

21:49

things go sure

21:51

we can show mercy and explain

21:54

grace and we can withhold

21:56

punishments but our kids better understand

21:58

in those moments of that's what's up the we

22:00

can't be epithet we can just see

22:02

from a distance and go on not gonna get off my but

22:05

and go i just watched my son

22:07

smack my daughter and he really should have done

22:09

that but if i pretend like a ignored it if i paatelainen

22:11

see it were gonna be fine know that

22:14

the the jesus follower

22:16

that's leading their family will engage

22:18

mainly they will be primed

22:21

and ready to engage with

22:23

the needs wants behaviors disciplines

22:26

encouragement admonition warnings

22:28

of their families they're active participants

22:31

in what's happening in the world around them the

22:34

got will tune it is engage readily

22:37

a third one and this is one that i think is missed

22:39

a lot to apologize often

22:42

the man we need to be great insisted

22:45

and ready apologize years let

22:48

me be great apologize if it means and we apologize

22:51

we use proper apology language that

22:53

means we don't say i'm sorry you felt

22:55

that way i'm sorry you made me do

22:58

this i'm sorry if that hurt your feelings

23:01

i'm sorry but i'm only human i'm sorry but

23:03

everyone does it i'm sorry but this is just the

23:05

way that it's going to be that we apologize

23:08

well and we apologize often

23:11

which means i acknowledge

23:13

what i did wrong i ignored that

23:15

what i did wrong hurt you and

23:17

i acknowledge that i will do something different

23:19

moving forward that i asked

23:21

for your forgiveness that i

23:24

do what i need to to make the situation

23:26

right so far as i can we

23:28

, often it even means apologizing

23:31

to those teenagers that we're raising it means

23:33

apologizing to my seven year old that times

23:35

i didn't see the day he wanted to stay up late

23:37

and play a game with dad know like

23:39

his big thing for the any ask me seventy seven

23:41

thousand times that day if i remembered

23:44

that we were gonna play gonna game and a game it is

23:47

the game that i love playing

23:49

with my friends and it's not a big deal with

23:51

like twenty two dollars on amazon god

23:53

kings of tokyo and we

23:55

did like to play and my son

23:58

has been trying to play with his friends my seven

24:00

year old but he left the pieces out in a lot of and

24:02

got like bent in damage there

24:04

is waiting all day to have special time at night

24:06

with his dad we were plagued things a tokyo together

24:09

that he got the game out and i saw some the pieces were bed

24:12

honey hardboard twenty

24:14

two dollar game would

24:16

i be a bigger child you

24:19

know their don't answer that question that i

24:21

had a just gonna head like a little hissy

24:23

fit inside i would a but

24:26

only pain

24:27

i told you if you're going to play this game

24:29

he needed care of it as a cue seven he

24:31

shine impresses friends

24:33

i bet you are younger sons that are destructive

24:36

leo in brady and a very well could

24:38

how to play a hand in it but then i'd

24:40

i'd just the whole rest the thumb we're

24:43

playing together it's like i knew that i need to punish

24:45

him for the fact that but i did it just

24:47

by being a little bit passive and i was

24:49

already annoyed because i just than a full day of

24:51

parenting and the get the moments

24:53

even that day where he was disrespectful

24:55

that is like i needed to show him in that

24:57

moment that i was hurt

25:00

this is embarrassing i hate that

25:03

i hate that i act like that and so he

25:05

went back upstairs that we played the game and i did go back

25:07

in his i what the only with him and i just

25:09

said hey man sorry you

25:11

get you excited to play that game and

25:14

it is acted like a child and

25:16

i i have to be better than that

25:18

for you and that that who got called

25:20

me to be as your dad and some

25:22

shopping you to forgive me but and and if you get

25:24

a redo maybe he played that game again tomorrow

25:26

night and i'm in have a better attitude and that

25:29

is not who i want to be for you and i'm sorry

25:31

that that kinda ruined our night together

25:33

and he apologized back so

25:35

on so sorry that i ruined your game and it

25:38

it just kind of it became a mutual moment

25:41

of does deep bond but

25:43

it was predicated on me

25:46

taking my stupid pride walking

25:48

up those steps these are him

25:50

for forgiveness and i can

25:52

do that all the time

25:53

and i

25:54

i'll be in the car and all yelled the backseat

25:57

not the us my kids for forgiveness and

25:59

the

25:59

that i've learned from

26:01

talking to a lot of students gay so i've i oversaw

26:03

student ministries for ten years at my church and

26:07

good cited ministry hundreds of of students

26:09

per year and which means in the course of

26:11

ten year you talking about close to ten thousand

26:13

students have come in and out of the ministry at different

26:15

times and when i realized is that

26:18

a lot of the students in this generation

26:20

have been more affected by their parents perfection

26:22

than by the mistakes then it

26:24

again i think a lot of the times our

26:26

kids will be more marked negatively

26:29

by are perceived perfection

26:31

or projected perfection than

26:33

by are honest repentant

26:35

mistakes the notion

26:38

that they have perfect parents that never

26:40

make mistakes is going to lead our kids to think

26:42

that they are anathema that they are not

26:45

worthy that they are weird that

26:47

their desires and that they're

26:49

they're selfishness is crazy

26:51

then we'd have to walk in it is in a room

26:54

where are kid is messed up and we say to them how

26:56

could you do this or if you just

26:58

listen to me as adults

27:00

don't adults the same thing all the time what

27:02

associate go the man but i

27:04

know exactly what just happened

27:07

i know that feeling we have to

27:09

work but are controlling it that's really what jesus

27:11

has called us to do but dude i get

27:13

it i make that mistake i sin just like

27:15

that constantly but we just go do something different

27:17

there we apologize often the

27:20

gospel tude it is engage readily apologize

27:22

often and lastly model disciple

27:25

ship model disciple ship one

27:27

of the things i was really struck by growing up my

27:29

grandma she died a few years back

27:32

but a member whenever with theater house outbreak

27:34

of in the morning and i would catch her reading her

27:36

bible then she never once said

27:38

you need to read bible just watched

27:40

to do it then i think we would do well

27:42

to ever family catch us modeling

27:45

disciple ship in about be weird at first you

27:47

might be sitting there like read your bible i get this is awkward

27:49

this is weird but there's no mistaking

27:51

at the bible makes it very clear that we are

27:53

as men to be men of the word the

27:56

be listening for me it's it's for

27:59

we're also going to turn on worship music

28:02

in the car they're gonna they're gonna listen to me

28:04

listen to sermons they're going to watch

28:06

me engage in the word we're

28:08

going to watch me wrestle with the truth of scripture

28:11

to model the say bullshit remember

28:13

being in youth ministry in one of the expectations i had

28:15

with our leaders that always bugged me

28:17

as i would i would go to cancer i would go to

28:19

retreat as other churches or even

28:21

starting out in it's in the church that i was out

28:24

in the leaders soon

28:26

as worship would start they would go to the back and they would

28:28

grab some food or they would go outside never talk

28:30

while the kids would sing in

28:32

the kids would engage in worship or slave

28:34

go to the back of the room snouts i would tell

28:37

me die i want the kids

28:39

to watch you worshipping i want

28:41

you to be in the middle of them if worshipping

28:43

is what kids do that

28:45

our kids will think it's a baby thing to do

28:48

reading the bible engaging in worship

28:51

and praying at all these things are

28:53

what we just gonna teach our kids about modeling

28:55

it for them than we've rejected one of the key

28:58

rules of disciple shit discipleship

29:00

is caught more than it's tough the

29:02

dad make no mistake

29:05

your kids the word

29:07

that you say like an amplified

29:10

speaker the words you say registered

29:12

about a one the things we do

29:14

register at fifty seven citizen

29:17

if i'm drinking a beer and telling you that it's

29:19

bad to drink are you going to listen to

29:21

what i say about drinking bit know you're in a watch when i'm

29:23

doing in the same way if i tell you

29:25

that praying is important but i'm not a prayer i

29:28

tell you that said he is important i'm not a steadier

29:30

if i tell you that serving mom

29:32

is important but i don't do if i tell you i

29:35

don't do it the i don't even know

29:37

what you catch me being a disciple if

29:39

you don't see it then when i get

29:41

older and you tell me it's important

29:43

the back my managed to think well why wasn't

29:45

it important for you

29:47

the gospel communities engage

29:49

readily apologize often in model disciple

29:51

ship and it's gonna feel weird at first if you don't model the

29:53

site bullshit but you're not praying and reading and doing

29:55

these things and getting caught doing them off and

29:58

gonna feel weird at first maybe little bit contrived in

30:00

force but i promise you it's better

30:02

than they get yourself well i don't wanna look fake

30:04

some is not going to do it it's like atrophy

30:07

it's like going to the gym you have to develop the muscles

30:09

to go get this is part of my discipline

30:11

here that the bible make you

30:13

really clear we are to be met of the word and that's not one

30:15

hour on a sunday listening to a sermon that

30:18

should be supplemental to our personal life walking

30:20

with jesus where you find

30:22

a man engaged in the word of god you

30:25

are going to find a model of disciple ship

30:27

that translates to the rest of our family where

30:30

can we as price investors model

30:33

display in do the things

30:35

that spiritual leader said it's not this super

30:37

high brow have to always be taking

30:40

level four hundred bible classes

30:42

or speaking for we have we have sing songs

30:44

sing along with our family and writing

30:47

new music for the church

30:49

says not what it means to be a spiritual

30:51

leader of our household we are to have the attitude of

30:53

christ and we are to practice the actions of

30:55

jesus never doing those things

30:57

we can look at that grade school that god gives us a

30:59

spiritual leadership and know there

31:02

were doing a good job the other

31:10

he guys that is always hope that episode was helpful

31:12

for you and finally more in love with jesus in helping your

31:15

family do the same to really practical things

31:17

you can do today number one sign up for our family leadership

31:19

program this is an intensive program

31:22

to give you very practical steps day

31:24

by day steps and had a point your family

31:26

to jesus so if you're serious about this stuff go

31:28

to data are dot com forward slash lead sign

31:31

up for that program also we would love

31:33

to see you and the tons of other guys

31:35

who are going to be at our retreat this fall

31:37

in arkansas we'd love to have any be part of that you can go

31:39

to that are you can sign up for that by

31:41

going to dad's higher dot com forward slash retreat

31:44

i love you guys we'll see next week