0:03

I added lunges into my workout routine. I

0:06

think it's a big step forward.

0:09

Scientists manage to grow human vocal cords

0:11

in the lap. The results speak

0:13

for themselves.

0:15

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus

0:17

laugh? Ten tickles?

0:20

Usually I don't tell Dad jokes, but

0:23

when I do, he laughs.

0:26

I used to have a fear of painting, but

0:28

I brushed it off.

0:30

Head and shoulders, knees and toes. Used

0:33

to be a kid's game. Now it's

0:35

an inventory of what hurts.

0:37

What happens to a computer if you overclock too

0:39

much, it goes up in frames.

0:43

Do you know why the broom was late? It

0:45

overswept.

0:47

My seventy year old father with a stutter was

0:49

just given fifty years in prison. He's

0:52

never going to finish his sentence.

0:55

What do you call two Mexicans fighting one

0:57

on one still

1:00

darting?

1:00

A graveyard business specializing in morbidly

1:02

obese people. It's a massive

1:04

undertaking.

1:06

Who do you call to fix a broken atom? A

1:09

quantum mechanic?

1:11

What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?

1:14

A boa constructor?

1:16

I was a failure as a doctor. I

1:18

had no patience.

1:20

Laughter continues shortly after this brief

1:23

ad break. A bunch

1:25

of trees may be a forest, but

1:27

a subaru is forester.

1:31

I was trying to make a fluid mechanics joke, but

1:34

the sheer stress and pressure got to my head.

1:37

How does a man in Israel make coffee? Hebrews

1:40

it.

1:41

My wife put a sticky note on the fridge saying

1:43

this isn't working. I opened the

1:46

fridge and it worked just fine.

1:48

We're in the meat processing plant. Dis mince

1:50

meat get made.

1:52

The ground floor, two

1:54

chickens were chatting around the coop. That

1:56

big rooster next door made a pass at me. One

1:59

exclaimed, really did

2:01

you provoke him? Well? I

2:03

egged him on a little.

2:05

What happened when an electrician stood on a hot

2:07

cross bun a current ran

2:09

up his leg?

2:11

How many South Americans does it take to fix

2:13

a broken ceiling fan? I'm

2:15

not positive, but I think it's above a Brazilian.

2:19

Where do broke people with good voices live

2:22

Singapore?

2:24

Why did the courier driver steal my Queens

2:26

of the Stone Age vinyl? No one

2:28

knows.

2:30

A chicken caught me in her nests.

2:32

I told her to release me from your foul clutches.

2:35

What do you call a video game made by an independent

2:38

Indian video game studio a

2:40

Hindi game. I'm

2:42

Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.

2:45

Keep listening for a bonus dad joke. We

2:47

want to bring some humor into your day. Share

2:50

the laughs or groans with your family

2:52

and friends. Have a great night, and

2:54

I'll be back tomorrow with more jokes. Thank

2:57

you for tuning in.

3:05

For those with an interest in the business and finance

3:07

sector, then listen to The Daily Business

3:09

and Finance Show podcast. The

3:12

show provides a concise, yet comprehensive

3:14

summary of the day's significant economic

3:16

events and five minute byte sized

3:19

episodes. Listen on Spotify,

3:21

Apple Podcasts, iHeartMedia,

3:24

or on your favorite podcast app. Search

3:26

for The Daily Business and Finance Show

3:28

in your podcast app, or check the show notes

3:31

page for the link. The

3:35

Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced

3:37

by Classic Studios. See

3:39

the show notes page for social media links

3:42

and Joe credits. Check out

3:44

our other podcasts in our network at Classicstudios

3:47

dot com. I

3:49

want to establish a church founded not on the

3:51

belief in a god, but glorifying the

3:54

music we play on our pipe organ. I

3:56

want to call it organ Esimo