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Hello, everyone, It's Liliana from

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Date my Abuelita First.

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Now with all my new NATO's, Natas

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and nitas on the show, I am really

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touched at how they all put their trust

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in me. Thank you for doing so. Awelita

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is here to help you find love. Now.

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I may have a lot of experience, but

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let's see how my experience holds up

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when listeners right in with their dating

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questions. Oh my goodness,

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and I have to give advice on the spot.

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I can do that to our listeners.

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If you've ever wanted advice directly

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from an abuelita like me,

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well now it's your chance. Dm

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us with your dating questions at Date

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my Abuelita First on

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Instagram and I will select a few questions

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to answer. Now let's get

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the advice trained Roland. Are

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we ready for the first question? Here

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we go. Hey, Wellita,

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I'm a queer Polly. They them

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prince and non binary

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Prince. And even though I have lots of love

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for my friends and my lovers and

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chosen family, I haven't

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told my birth family that I am Polly.

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My birth family and I are super close

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and unfortunate that for the most part, they

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are very accepting of my gender

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and queerness. They know a

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lot of my friends, and they often hear me

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talk about my friends' love lives

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and multiple partners, hookups,

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etc. And often makes night

1:36

jokes about how my generation can make

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up their mind about anything and that's

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why everyone is Polly, and how

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it's too easy when you have endless

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choices of dating apps in your pocket. Well,

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I want my parents to know I'm Polly too,

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but I'm worried they will feel like it's yet another

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non normative aspect of my identity

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that they have to deal with and explain to our

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extended family. If I

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were your child or your niette,

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how would you want me to bring this out to you? If

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you already had some preconceived

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judgments about Polly people,

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Thank you, Awelita. Let's

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start at the end. I

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personally do not have any preconceived

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judgments about anyone. The

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more you live, the more you know, the

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more you encounter beautiful human beings.

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How can you now, Let's

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go to the very beginning. You're very

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close to your family. They accept

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you for who you are, and you are

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very lucky in that regard that

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they make snight comments about your friends

2:38

and the uncertainty of what kind of

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life you are all leading. Well,

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it's time to make a little clarification.

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How about a sit down. How about

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just going all the way with the absolute truth,

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with an open heart and mind. They

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love you, They have accepted

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you so far, and there's no question

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in my mind that this is who you are

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are. And because they love you, they

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will continue to accept you. Do

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not hide anything, share

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with those that are there to back you up

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every time. They

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are not going to make any more comments.

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You know where the comments come from. They

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come from our own ignorance because

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we just don't know much, We don't

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accept much because the world is changing

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so fast around us. I

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am opening my mind, my

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heart, and my world to the

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polyamorous relationship that

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these beautiful human beings have, and

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we all must do the same. So

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sit down with your parents, sit down with your

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family, Be as honest as you can, do,

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not hide at all, and if

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anything changes, well

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this time to make other adult decisions. From

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then on. Here

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we go with another one. I

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cheated on my partner once, seriously,

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just once, and it was a big mistake,

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and I was upfront and honest about

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what had happened. After telling

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my partner and doing a lot of work to rebuild

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our relationship, both internally

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respectively and as a couple. Our

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relationships seemed like it was on

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the right track, but I've

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noticed the trust we shared has not

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been the same. The relationship

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feels more one sided than ever

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before, like they, in small ways

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want me to prove my love for them. Even

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in subtle ways. They definitely

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have a lot more of the power in

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the relationship, which they are aware of,

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and it's something we work on together in couple's

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therapy. Ever since the cheating,

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they track my location, question

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a lot of the things I do and where

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I go. Even if I'm just hanging

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out with friends. They'll sometimes blow

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up my phone and accuse me of being in

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other places. Most of the

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time things are okay, but

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I feel like sometimes they get super

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activated, and in those moments it

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feels like they will never truly

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trust me again. I made

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a mistake, but come on, will

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they ever truly trust me again?

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Is there anything I can do to regain more trust?

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Or do we need to be having a much bigger

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conversation about if we should continue

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pursuing the relationship. Well,

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at the very top, I love your

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honesty. I love the fact that

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you came up front and told

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it like it is. It happened once, it

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was a mistake and you wanted to move on.

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But however, how

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the relationship developed afterwards,

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it has more to do with other issues

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than the fact that you cheat it. There

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were other things going on. But

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is it so much easier to put the blame

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on an action or a reaction

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than to talk about the general

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issues that are going on. What

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would I do? I would truly move

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on. Once the trust is gone, once

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it's broken, once the questions start

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piling up, once the phone starts

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blowing up, there is nothing

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there enjoy in

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your mind and in your heart the time that you had

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together. Even therapy is

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not working. But at this point

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it is truly the time to move

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on. You can remain friends,

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you can remember the good times

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and love that person for those

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memories and those times. But

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no trust, no honesty,

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no love, and too many questions.

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There's one answer, move on. When

6:46

MISA artists don't forget to listen

6:49

to date my I will wit that first on

6:51

Thursdays. And while you're listening,

6:53

don't forget to click that subscribe button. Come

6:55

on, do it? Now find us on

6:58

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast,

7:00

or wherever it is that you listen to

7:03

your favorite shows like Date My Awilita,

7:05

First Love, You, Miss Mitos Miasmas,

7:09

and if you have a burning question that is

7:11

keeping you guessing, well don't guess

7:13

anymore. You know that Awelita has

7:16

your back all the way dm

7:18

us at Date My Awilita First

7:20

on Instagram and we'll work on getting

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this answered for you. I'm

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a real, real Awilita and I've

7:27

got all the advice in the world. You all