0:00

So you're going through a breakup and you

0:02

feel like your world is Completely flipped upside

0:04

down and shattered because you have no idea

0:06

where to turn you have no idea what

0:08

direction to go in and you feel Like

0:10

you're just lost you feel like you have

0:12

no idea what the next step of your

0:14

life is because you've spent the last six

0:16

Months a year two years three years eight

0:19

years, whatever it is Centering

0:21

your life around another human being you're so

0:23

used to them. You're holding on to the

0:25

memories You've done everything together. You might have

0:28

lived together You're spending so

0:30

much time with this one person that

0:32

when you actually break up you feel

0:34

completely lost You've lost your sense of

0:36

self you've lost your identity because you've

0:38

made your identity centered around another person

0:41

So trusting the process after the breakup is

0:43

so difficult sometimes and it's one of the

0:45

hardest things to do Because

0:47

it really requires you to surrender to

0:50

the absolute unknown and the unseen and

0:52

what I mean by that is it

0:54

requires you to have Complete unwavering faith

0:56

in what you're not physically seeing yet

0:58

And that means even when your physical

1:00

world and your life really

1:03

feels so shitty and you feel like you're

1:05

at your lowest possible point and You

1:07

don't have any physical evidence that things are going to get better It's

1:10

still having that faith that everything can

1:12

change and everything will change and everything

1:15

will improve for the better And it's

1:17

all about rewiring your mind, but

1:19

this can be challenging and I have a lot

1:21

of people messaging me lately How do I trust the

1:24

process? How do I get over this? I have

1:26

no idea what to do. I feel so

1:28

confused I feel so defeated this person left

1:31

me this person betrayed me Whatever

1:34

it may be and whatever your situation is I know

1:37

how trusting the process and tapping into

1:39

your higher self can be such a

1:41

challenge if you're not really sure What

1:44

the steps are to take so this episode is

1:46

all about how to trust your higher self Trusting

1:49

the process tapping into your highest

1:51

potential and really understanding how to

1:54

listen to that inner voice That's

1:56

directing you in a way

1:58

where you can live your life so much more more honestly

2:00

and authentically. I

2:02

was never really a religious person, but

2:04

over the last year and a half,

2:07

I've definitely become slightly more religious and

2:09

more spiritual, I would say, simply because

2:11

of the concept of faith. And

2:14

understanding that in order to really manifest and

2:16

in order to really attract better things into

2:18

your reality and in order to get what

2:20

you truly fucking want out of your life,

2:22

you need to practice this concept of faith, where

2:25

you know that even if things are not exactly

2:27

the way you want them right now, it is

2:30

absolutely guaranteed that things will get better

2:32

and it is absolutely guaranteed that you

2:35

will find your soulmate. There

2:37

is this concept of your ego

2:39

versus your higher self. And

2:42

this is so mind blowing for me. My best

2:44

friend, Haley and I were voice noting each other

2:46

and we were talking about how there's this constant

2:48

battle between our ego when we go through a

2:50

breakup and our higher self. And our ego is

2:52

trying to keep us safe. Our ego is trying

2:54

to keep us in the comfort of knowing this

2:56

person, they were a huge part of our lives,

2:58

it's comfortable to sit in the feelings of maybe

3:00

this is my person, I just need to wait

3:02

it out and we'll get back together. Or maybe

3:05

this is my person and it's just a rough

3:07

patch. And although that can be true, and I'm

3:09

not saying that's not true, our

3:11

ego is often trying to keep us comfortable

3:13

and safe, especially if it's the wrong person,

3:15

because that's just what we're familiar with. And

3:18

it tries to keep us stuck in the

3:20

same cycles and patterns that we condition our

3:22

brain to be in, and that feel familiar

3:24

and safe, and that feel comfortable to us.

3:27

And then there's our higher self, which is

3:29

that little inner voice calling us for something bigger

3:31

and greater in our lives. And we're so

3:33

afraid to lean into that. And

3:35

we're so afraid to trust. And there's that little

3:37

voice telling us you deserve better, you deserve more

3:39

out of your life, you're meant for bigger things,

3:42

you deserve to find your soulmate and not staying

3:44

stuck on someone that's not treating you right. But

3:46

we tend to suppress it and avoid it and

3:48

ignore it, because it can be terrifying. It

3:51

can be so scary to dive

3:54

into the unknown with no actual physical evidence

3:56

that that's going to be a better option

3:58

for us. When we're not

4:00

seeing our future and we can't see how

4:02

it's mapped out in front of us and

4:04

we don't really know what the

4:07

future holds, it can be so terrifying that we're

4:09

going to just settle for what our ego is

4:11

saying and what our ego is communicating

4:13

to us to keep us safe and protected. But

4:16

if you have that inner voice in your head

4:18

saying, you deserve better, you usually do. And I've

4:20

said that on many other episodes. If you have

4:22

that inner knowing and you keep suppressing it and

4:24

you keep shoving it down and you keep ignoring

4:27

it, eventually that will start to eat at you

4:29

and eventually it will bite you

4:31

in the ass because you're not

4:33

going to ever truly be living authentically if you

4:35

don't tap into that inner voice. And

4:39

that's why I always say having

4:42

that unwavering faith is

4:44

the key to tapping into your highest potential. When

4:47

we dive into the unknown, that's where the

4:50

magic happens. And what I realized, especially over

4:52

the last month being in Australia and being

4:54

put in a situation where I had to

4:57

trust my higher self quite a few times

4:59

here because there were situations and people in

5:01

my life that were weighing me down, that

5:03

were giving me anxiety, that were interfering

5:05

with my happiness while I was here.

5:09

I had to trust my inner voice

5:11

even though in the

5:13

physical reality, there was no

5:16

guarantee that moving forward would be a better

5:18

choice, but I had to trust

5:20

and I had to break away from these

5:22

people because I knew that was my only

5:24

option and only chance at actually being happy

5:26

and actually honoring my truth. And

5:29

it was scary. I wasn't sure if I was

5:31

going to mention this on the episode, but during this powerful

5:33

eclipse and so many people were posting about

5:35

it on social media saying how they energetically

5:37

felt so many shifts. It was so emotional

5:39

for so many people. I

5:42

had three exes reach out to

5:45

me and there was three separate

5:47

situations where I had to evaluate myself

5:49

and listen to that inner voice and

5:51

listen to my higher self saying, don't

5:54

fall back into these traps. Do not go

5:56

backwards because if you start entertaining these people,

5:59

if you start opening up, opening up these

6:01

timelines that you've shut down already and you've

6:03

moved forward from, it's only going to bite

6:06

you with the ass, as I just said,

6:08

and only going to make you feel like

6:10

you're not living authentically. Because I've

6:13

grown out of a lot of these people

6:15

in situations, but it's always tempting when you're

6:17

vulnerable, when you're emotional, you're having like a

6:19

day and then someone from your past crawls

6:21

back in. It's so easy to get sucked

6:23

back into it. It's so easy to fall

6:25

back into the cycle that you thought you

6:27

broke. And for me, it

6:29

was the most challenging week I swear I've

6:31

ever had in so long, just actually

6:34

following my higher self instead of saying, you know

6:36

what, it's not so bad if I just have

6:38

conversations with my exes. It's not so bad if I

6:40

just entertain us, whatever. And I did for a

6:42

second. I'm not going to lie. Like I did

6:44

reply. I did reply to all of them. And

6:48

I don't regret it, but at the same time, I

6:50

had to cut it off and

6:53

listen to that inner voice saying, this

6:55

is something you've evolved past. This

6:57

is something that is comfortable.

6:59

This is something that's familiar, but you've

7:02

evolved past this. You've evolved

7:04

past this stage

7:06

of your life where you were settling and you

7:08

weren't happy and you were in relationships that kept you

7:10

stuck and you were with people that didn't see

7:12

your value and your worth. I

7:15

realized through these experiences that the only way

7:17

to actually be truly, truly at a level

7:20

of alignment and peace and fulfillment is when

7:22

you're fully leaning into that higher self version

7:24

of you that's talking to you in your

7:26

head and saying to

7:28

you, this probably isn't the best decision.

7:30

This person isn't right for you. And

7:33

when you fully lean into that and you trust

7:35

that, even though it can be so scary and

7:37

it feels like you might be making the wrong

7:39

decision by leaping into your future with no actual

7:42

game plan or strategy, that

7:44

faith in your higher self is going to take you

7:46

to the next level of your life guaranteed. It's

7:49

always when you're diving into the unknown and you're

7:51

met with a little bit of fear, that's

7:54

where the magic happens. And it's something that I

7:56

always tell myself when I'm really scared to take

7:58

a leap of faith into something. something new.

8:00

This doesn't just have to be about

8:02

relationships. This could be about a new

8:04

career opportunity, moving to a new place,

8:07

taking that solo trip you've always wanted

8:09

to take. It could be literally applicable

8:11

to anything. And that initial

8:13

fear, that feeling of

8:17

dread where you're like, oh my God, I don't know if I'm

8:19

making the right decision. That's normal.

8:21

That's human to feel that way. And I

8:24

have a lot of people who have come

8:26

to me with questions about this too, because

8:28

there's a lot of fear centered around taking

8:30

leaps of faith. And that's the

8:33

only way. That's the only

8:35

way that you're going to be able to up

8:37

level and change your life. If you're staying stuck

8:39

in the same place for 10 years with the

8:41

same people, you know they're not right for you.

8:43

You have toxic friendship circles. You're in a toxic

8:45

career where you feel like you're not tapping into

8:47

your highest potential. If you're not willing to break

8:50

free and leap into the unknown, you're going to

8:52

stay stuck. You're going to stay stuck permanently. And

8:54

if you have that inner voice saying, I meant

8:57

for so much more, you are meant for so

8:59

much more. Now, something

9:02

else about the eclipse that

9:04

happened was a lot

9:07

of hidden secrets and truths

9:09

being revealed, especially with

9:11

one of my ex partners that I

9:14

had a really intense relationship with. I've mentioned

9:16

him on the podcast before. It was someone

9:18

that I loved and care for more than

9:20

anything in the world. We

9:22

had a very intense conversation and a

9:25

lot of hidden secrets and things we

9:27

kept from each other came to the

9:29

surface during this week. And

9:32

there was a conversation in particular that I

9:34

had with him where I realized that a

9:36

lot of our relationship was built off of

9:38

dishonesty in order to protect the other person.

9:40

And once we cleared

9:43

the air, it was so healing to have

9:45

that talk because there was so much left

9:47

unsaid. And I think sometimes we need to

9:49

have these conversations with our ex partners and

9:51

people from our past to clear any emotional

9:54

blockages that can prevent us from having a

9:56

better future and that could prevent us from having healthier

9:58

relationships in the future. I really

10:00

think this eclipse season was literally one of the

10:02

most intense experiences I've ever had in my life

10:05

because it felt so transformative

10:08

to clear out so many blockages that

10:10

kept me stuck from propelling forward in

10:12

my life and I think a lot

10:14

of people can relate to this because this

10:17

energy was all about transformation and renewal

10:19

and rebirth and I talk a

10:22

lot about this on my instagram as well for those of you

10:24

who follow me on instagram You've probably seen most stories about the

10:26

eclipse Transforming stepping into

10:28

your power and really having that confidence

10:30

and ability to walk away Knowing that

10:33

there's something greater for you on the

10:35

other side of fear I

10:38

didn't even realize how

10:40

much tightness I had in my chest

10:44

from That relationship and

10:46

I think there were still

10:48

pieces of me that were really holding on Obviously

10:50

i'm here on the podcast to share my wisdom

10:52

and my experiences for my dating life But that

10:55

relationship in particular I think It's

10:58

almost like stored in my chest There was just

11:00

this feeling of tightness that I had and once

11:02

I had that conversation with him and

11:04

we Talked about a lot

11:07

of things that we had kept from each other.

11:09

It almost felt like I had released something physically

11:12

and I feel like there was

11:14

a piece of me If

11:17

i'm being completely transparent that was still

11:19

clinging on to the past And

11:22

I think that was part of the reason why I can

11:24

never fully open myself up to dating

11:27

Even though I have been dating and I have

11:29

met other people since that relationship happened I've

11:32

been so focused on dating

11:34

myself instead that I

11:37

unknowingly was holding myself back from truly

11:39

being open and opening my heart and

11:41

I think that conversation illuminated that for

11:43

me and My

11:46

higher self started to communicate with me after

11:48

that talk and was saying you need to

11:50

open your heart and you need to be

11:53

brave enough to Not

11:56

only open your heart but to understand that

11:59

sometimes And you

12:01

have to really, really, truly close the

12:03

door on people that

12:06

even if you love them and you're always going to

12:08

love them and care about them, you have to truly

12:10

close that door in order to open a new timeline

12:12

for yourself and in order to open

12:14

yourself up to the possibility of

12:17

truly being happy and truly living

12:19

honestly. And I don't think I

12:21

was being fully honest with myself all this time. There's

12:24

something about also just stripping away

12:26

your ego in a conversation

12:28

with someone and laying all your cards on the

12:30

table with someone you care about. Because you cannot

12:33

have any sort of successful

12:35

relationship if it's not built on honesty, right?

12:39

If you're just having these surface-level relationships

12:41

where you're lying

12:43

to each other to protect each other's happiness,

12:46

that's not really authentic. And that's not living

12:48

your truth. And it's never going to get

12:50

you far, especially romantically, if

12:52

you are not being your truest self

12:55

and if you're not living as your

12:58

truest self. There was

13:00

also this crazy thing where I

13:02

saw this sign in my Airbnb

13:04

where I was staying in Australia.

13:08

And it had this artwork of a pair

13:10

of eyes looking down on the wall above

13:12

my bedroom. And it looked exactly like my

13:15

first YouTube cover. And

13:18

I used to do music. I don't really do

13:20

it anymore. Maybe I'll get back into it eventually.

13:22

But the artwork literally

13:24

looked exactly like the artwork

13:27

of my music that

13:29

I put out 11 years ago, right after

13:31

I had left Australia, because I studied abroad

13:33

here. And I was looking at it. I

13:35

was like, that looks like me on the

13:37

wall. This artwork literally looks like my eyes

13:39

and my music cover photo

13:41

on the wall of my Airbnb. So

13:45

that song that I wrote is called The

13:47

Trade. And the lyrics are, you hurt me

13:49

once. I took the pain. You hurt me

13:51

twice. I took the blame. Third time comes

13:53

around. It's just a game. That's

13:56

the beginning of the song. And for

13:59

some reason, it just. felt so symbolic.

14:01

It felt like almost that artwork

14:03

was symbolic of me closing a

14:05

really toxic relationship pattern I've had

14:07

since I'm 15 years old

14:09

when I released that song. And I was

14:11

looking at the art and then I was

14:13

thinking about what was happening with my ex-partner

14:15

and the conversation we had. And it felt

14:18

like I had finally closed this toxic cycle

14:20

of really shitty relationships that

14:22

I've had since I'm 15 years old.

14:26

And it was so trippy. I felt

14:28

like I was actually really feeling the

14:30

stimulation in this moment because I was like,

14:32

oh my God, this song and this art

14:35

is so symbolic of what I

14:37

was going through 15 years ago. It

14:39

almost feels like nothing had changed because

14:41

I had the same

14:43

relationship with three different people and three

14:46

different physical bodies through the last 15

14:48

years of my life. And

14:51

the thing is, if you don't heal the

14:53

patterns in your relationships and if you

14:55

don't heal that piece of you internally

14:57

that keeps attracting these people, you're going

14:59

to get the same relationship in different

15:01

physical bodies. And

15:03

I hope I'm making sense here,

15:05

but for me, I

15:08

just realized as of recently that

15:10

I have been dating the same

15:12

situation, but just in three different

15:14

people because I've had three serious

15:16

relationships. So that was

15:18

really interesting to me. These are all just like

15:20

revelations I had during the eclipse, but my

15:23

higher self was just communicating to me and

15:25

telling me all of this information and being

15:27

like, you're closing the cycle now. This is

15:29

a brand new start and chapter of your

15:31

life. You don't have to be in toxic

15:33

relationships anymore. You don't have to continue

15:36

this ever again. You could start a

15:38

clean slate when you get back to New York. You don't

15:40

have to go back to what you used to go for.

15:43

The same type where it just

15:45

became this loop of up and down roller

15:48

coaster motions, trying to get your needs met,

15:50

trying to understand why things aren't working. You

15:52

don't need to do that anymore. And

15:55

it was

15:58

just so healing. feeling, but

16:00

it was also so trippy at the

16:02

same time. And yeah, just one of

16:05

those situations where I

16:07

feel like a piece of me needed to

16:10

come to Australia to heal. And the last

16:12

time I was here, that's

16:14

when I released that song. And to just see

16:16

the art on the wall was...

16:20

Yeah, it was insane, honestly.

16:22

Anyways, so I don't

16:25

want to get too off tangent here, but

16:29

I think the whole point I'm

16:31

trying to make is patterns

16:34

will show up in different

16:36

physical bodies until you completely heal it.

16:38

And I don't think I was ever

16:40

fully honest and true to myself, starting

16:42

from my first relationship, because I

16:45

didn't know myself well enough, to be honest with

16:47

myself. I didn't know what was actually right or

16:49

wrong for me. I didn't know what healthy was.

16:51

And a lot of people can relate to this.

16:55

You don't know what healthy is if

16:57

you grew up maybe in an environment

16:59

that wasn't healthy, because you think that's

17:01

normal. Or you just don't know yourself and you're

17:03

still figuring yourself out and you just don't know what

17:05

it is that you actually need. You don't know what's

17:07

actually going to make you feel good. And you just

17:09

start settling for people that treat you badly. It's a

17:12

very common thing that a lot of people go through.

17:14

And I'm sure a lot of people listening to this

17:16

podcast can relate to that. But

17:18

now I'm at a point in my life where

17:21

I'm like, I'll have an open opportunity and a

17:23

chance now at 31 years old to reclaim my

17:25

power, know who I really am,

17:27

and be fully transparent with who I am,

17:29

and lean into the woman that I want

17:31

to become. And diving into the unknown

17:33

is a part of this. And

17:36

having complete unwavering faith in the unknown

17:38

is a part of

17:40

this. And just trusting that I'm

17:43

a different person now. I've closed the toxic

17:45

cycles. I've closed the toxic chapters on my

17:48

life. And that's also what my

17:50

course is all about. You dare to detach.

17:52

Just see tatching and surrendering and trusting the

17:54

process. That's why I created it in the

17:56

first place. Because I know that's the key

17:58

to attracting everything you want is to surrender.

18:00

render and to trust and have faith in

18:02

the unseen. It is the key to

18:04

everything, to living to your highest potential. Now,

18:09

the next part of this episode is going to

18:11

cover how to

18:13

really listen to your higher self and tap into that

18:15

because some of you might be asking, what is my

18:17

higher self? What does that even really mean? Because

18:20

I keep saying it over and over again, it's probably getting

18:22

really repetitive. But

18:26

I'm going to dive a little deeper and explain

18:29

how you can tap into it and what it

18:31

really is. You're

18:33

going to hear an inner voice in your head if

18:35

you really pay attention and listen to yourself. Forget

18:38

about everyone else for a second. You're

18:40

blocking out the noise. You're blocking out all

18:42

the garbage, blocking out social media. Stop

18:45

scrolling. Stop consuming other people's lives.

18:49

Get yourself alone for a moment

18:51

and really listen to what the

18:53

inner voice in your head is

18:55

saying. Because

18:58

you're going to hear something and

19:00

you can ignore it. You could suppress it.

19:03

You could distract yourself and bury this voice

19:05

for your entire life pretty much. You could.

19:08

But at the end of the day, it's still there.

19:10

It's just a matter of how much you're actually listening

19:12

to it. And I

19:15

think in all of my relationships, I've ignored that

19:17

voice and suppressed certain parts of who I was

19:19

to try to make it work. I

19:22

would always try to make something work

19:24

with someone because, one, I loved them.

19:26

So I was willing to sacrifice my

19:28

happiness, which is not maybe that's not

19:30

real, genuine, authentic, unconditional love. But it

19:32

was something that I thought I needed to do. And

19:35

two, I was terrified to be alone. I was

19:37

scared to honor who I was. And

19:39

I was scared to really know who I was without them.

19:42

So all of those

19:44

fears combined, I would just ignore my

19:46

inner voice, which is also your

19:49

higher self in a way, right? That voice that's

19:51

telling you and guiding you to do things that

19:54

might be better for you. It was

19:56

just easier for me to suppress it, push it away, and

19:58

not listen to it. And when

20:00

you're afraid to lose someone else and you're afraid

20:02

to be alone, you will do whatever you can

20:04

to suppress that voice and say, I can't be

20:06

alone. I need to figure it out with this

20:09

person. But

20:11

then if you hear that inner voice and you're listening

20:13

to it and it's saying, oh, shit,

20:15

I know I deserve better, but I'm just going to try to

20:17

ride this out. I'm just going to try to stick it out.

20:21

That's you ignoring it. And

20:24

it can be terrifying because if you

20:27

do end up going with it and listening

20:30

to it, and then you

20:32

end up alone, you're basically standing on your own two

20:34

feet outside of a relationship for the first time. You're

20:36

like, what the fuck am I doing? This is so

20:38

scary. You're going to be tempted to run back to

20:40

them at first because it's terrifying because you're just literally,

20:42

for the first time,

20:46

really following something with no real direction.

20:48

You're just following your own guidance in

20:50

a way. It takes a lot of

20:53

courage to fully look within and

20:55

listen to that. But

20:57

if you hear it, the

21:00

whole point of this episode is basically to

21:02

say, don't ignore it because

21:05

it's going to catch up to you eventually. And

21:09

there is more for you if you believe that. And

21:12

there is more for you regardless

21:14

of what situation you're in, whether it's a relationship,

21:16

whether you feel like you have a higher calling

21:19

in life, a different purpose and what you're doing

21:21

right now. If

21:23

you hear something, you

21:25

are meant for it. You are meant for more. And

21:29

I want you to trust yourself and really

21:31

tap into that more and not be afraid

21:33

to listen to that more. When

21:37

I was really

21:39

confused about my purpose in 2020,

21:43

I really had no idea what I was doing with

21:45

my life a few years ago, like to the point

21:47

where I was extremely depressed. I was at a really

21:49

low point. I like drained out my bank account trying

21:52

to figure out what I was going to do with

21:54

my life. I had so many

21:57

bad, bad things like a domino

21:59

effect just happening. to me all

22:01

around that time frame. And I

22:05

remember just hearing a voice saying, I needed

22:07

to start a

22:09

podcast because there were so many people

22:11

asking me for one, but my

22:14

ego was battling with it. And I was

22:16

like, no, that's so stupid. I'm not doing

22:18

that. Everyone has a podcast. That's so stupid.

22:21

That's so stupid. I literally would shove that

22:23

voice away. I think

22:25

it was almost a year and a half

22:27

where I was like, so against starting it.

22:29

I was also against starting my course. I

22:31

was against starting

22:33

anything that felt

22:36

new, like anything that felt like it could be

22:38

a new venture. I was like, no, I'm comfortable

22:40

here. I want to do

22:43

something different. I don't want

22:45

to do that. And

22:49

there was a turning point for me where I was

22:51

just like, I remember I was sitting in my apartment

22:53

in New York and I was at an

22:55

all time low where I was just

22:57

like, I really have no idea what

23:00

the next step should be. I have

23:02

no fucking clue. And I had

23:06

connected with this guy who was in

23:08

the podcast industry who was emailing me

23:10

and was telling me

23:12

all about podcasting. And I

23:14

had no idea about the podcast space at this

23:16

time. I was like, I had no idea how

23:19

much money you could make from it. I had

23:21

no idea what signing to a network meant. I

23:23

knew nothing. I didn't even know how to grow

23:25

the podcast. I literally was starting from zero, but he

23:27

had just emailed me and was explaining things to me.

23:29

And then we got on a call and

23:33

he was telling me all

23:35

of these things about podcasts

23:37

in general and how if it

23:40

is successful, it's an

23:42

amazing line of work. And there's basically

23:44

so many people in the industry that

23:46

have turned their podcasts into so much

23:48

more just because they're helping other people

23:50

and they're making a difference. And

23:53

he just kept telling me more and more and more

23:55

information about it to the point where it started to

23:57

get stuck in my head and then my inner voice.

24:00

started having conversations with this

24:02

information. So it took

24:04

someone else's information about it in

24:06

order to really understand that

24:08

might be a good idea. But

24:11

I had that inner voice in me for a year

24:13

and a half. So it wasn't exactly him that made

24:15

me start the podcast, but it was like the last

24:17

and final step in stone where

24:19

I realized suddenly I was like, this could

24:21

be a really good idea, not only from

24:23

a career perspective, but I've always wanted to

24:25

help people. I've always wanted to

24:27

make a difference. I've always wanted to connect with more people

24:29

on a more intimate level. This could

24:31

be aligned with my higher calling. And

24:34

it finally clicked. It took a

24:36

very long time. Took almost two years for me

24:39

to come to this realization and listen to that

24:41

inner voice. And that's also why I'm making this

24:43

episode because if I

24:45

could have started it two years earlier, I

24:49

would have. Then again, maybe I wasn't

24:51

ready for it. I think everything happens in divine timing

24:53

and I think everything happens for a reason. But

24:57

I knew my purpose two years prior before really

24:59

tapping into it is my point because I had

25:01

that inner voice talking to me about it, but

25:03

I was just so fucking stubborn. And my ego

25:06

was like wrestling with it, being like, this

25:08

is dumb. You should not start a podcast. It's not

25:10

gonna ever be anything and no one's gonna listen to

25:12

it. Literally that was the narrative that was going on

25:14

in my head at the time. The

25:17

point being is sometimes that inner

25:20

voice will

25:24

unknowingly guide you before you're

25:26

ready to hear any information. And

25:28

it won't make sense. It won't make any fucking

25:30

sense. But looking back now

25:32

and seeing what I'm

25:34

doing now, how I'm working, what

25:36

a date yourself and said brand, everything that I've built,

25:38

I'm like, oh my God. That

25:40

was my direction the whole time and I was

25:42

just like pushing it away the whole time. And

25:45

it's so crazy how far it's come, but it's

25:47

so crazy that I was fighting so hard against

25:49

it for so long. So

25:52

yeah, pretty much what part of this episode is

25:54

to say your higher self knows

25:56

better than you do, but you really have to listen to it

25:58

and you really have to be brave. enough to take that step.

26:02

OK, so how

26:05

do you really listen to your higher self?

26:08

What are some ways you can do this and practice this? What

26:11

are some ways you can actually be honest

26:13

and more truthful with that

26:15

version of you that you want to become? Now,

26:18

your higher self is the person you

26:20

want to be in a

26:22

year from now, five years from now, 10 years from

26:24

now. If you close your eyes and visualize where you

26:26

see yourself and how much more amazing

26:28

and magical your life is, that's pretty

26:31

much what I'm referring to. If

26:33

you see this new version of you that's like

26:36

a phoenix rising from the ashes is the

26:39

analogy I always use. But it's like that

26:42

person that you want to

26:44

become after going through a hard period of time,

26:46

especially a breakup. This always happens when you see

26:48

people having these major gloves after a breakup. It's

26:51

like you are transforming your identity in a way

26:53

after going through a significant loss

26:56

or something painful or something tragic.

26:59

How do you see yourself in a year from now? If

27:01

you're currently going through a breakup, if you're going through a

27:03

really difficult period of time, if you

27:05

close your eyes for a minute, I want you to close your eyes just

27:09

for 30 seconds to a minute. And

27:12

I want you to, maybe you should

27:14

pause the episode to do

27:16

this, but just visualize that

27:19

person. What do they look like? How

27:21

do they feel? What are they doing in their lives? Are

27:26

they doing what you're doing right now? Are

27:29

they fulfilling all of their dreams? Are

27:32

they going after what they want? Are they confident?

27:35

Are they powerful? Are they

27:37

able to manifest anything

27:39

that they want? You

27:42

have to visualize that person. I think that's

27:44

the key and the first step is

27:47

just being aware that there is that version of you.

27:50

There is that version of you that exists. And

27:55

also, if you're really happy right now with where you're

27:57

at in life, it doesn't mean you have to take

27:59

any step. right now to drastically change

28:01

your life. But if you are looking

28:04

to make a significant change, and

28:06

if you're looking to transform your reality and

28:08

heal and up-level in a brand new way,

28:10

I want you to really

28:12

visualize this person and who this person

28:14

is. I

28:16

think it's natural to want to grow and evolve

28:19

and become better. It doesn't matter how old you are, it

28:21

doesn't matter what place you are in your life. Who

28:23

doesn't want to improve? I think it's just

28:25

a natural human thing to

28:27

want to be better and attract more abundance

28:29

into your life and have new experiences and

28:31

opportunities. But also there's beauty in staying where

28:34

you are too. So if you're happy with

28:36

your life, you don't have to listen to

28:38

this advice. But I think

28:40

if you are ready for change, you

28:43

have to envision that there is a version of you

28:45

out there on a new timeline in a new reality

28:47

that you can access if you truly put your mind

28:49

to it and you truly want that. You can 100%

28:52

transform your life and up-level into the person

28:54

you want to be if you

28:57

take the necessary steps to do so. And if

28:59

you're conscious and aware that that person exists in

29:01

the first place, you have to really believe that,

29:03

right? Then the

29:05

second step is to, I would

29:09

say, take 15 minutes when you

29:11

wake up in the morning and when

29:13

you go to bed at night and listen

29:15

to that inner voice speak to you. Get off

29:17

your phone, stop feeding

29:20

any distractions that keep you blocked or that

29:22

keep your brain preoccupied, stop texting your ex,

29:25

stop getting lost in what people are doing on

29:27

their vacation in Bora Bora or whatever it is

29:29

that you're consumed with. I feel like I always

29:31

use that line. I need to change my, I

29:34

need to change the lines that I use. I

29:36

always use like the Bora Bora reference because I

29:38

always just see people talking about how they're consumed

29:40

with other people going on vacation and traveling on

29:42

Instagram. My point is,

29:44

shut your fucking phone off, okay? And

29:47

I want you to meditate.

29:50

And there's this one meditation I do that's also part

29:53

of my course, but I'll just give you a little

29:55

free access to some of the tools and resources

29:57

I use. There's this YouTube. channel

30:00

called Shiverasa, I believe, and she

30:02

has an amazing YouTube channel with

30:04

all these breathwork meditations and just

30:07

like really good healing sounds. And

30:09

I do her breathwork YouTube guided

30:11

visualization meditations and they're amazing. And

30:13

there's this one called Higher Self.

30:15

So that's the one I use

30:18

often and the Higher Self meditation

30:20

taps into this version

30:22

of you that you're visualizing in five, 10, 15

30:25

years from now, right? Do

30:27

that visualization meditation because I think it's

30:30

very powerful and also do it

30:33

repeatedly. It's not a one time

30:35

thing where you just do it once and then you carry on

30:37

with your life. Your brain needs repetition

30:39

of certain things in order to make it a

30:41

pattern and have things show up in your reality.

30:43

So if you do something once, it might not

30:46

stick, but if you do it repeatedly, you'll start

30:48

to notice results. So for me, visualizing

30:50

every single day about the person I want

30:53

to become is essential and that's part of

30:55

tapping into that Higher Self. And

30:57

then the next step is after you listen

30:59

to that version of you and visualize that

31:03

journal, write

31:05

down what you hear, write down what

31:08

that inner voice is telling you or

31:10

write down what you see visually. For

31:13

example, I would get

31:15

a journal and I would

31:18

start fresh, buy a new one. If you're

31:20

looking to change your life and start a new chapter of your

31:22

life, throw out all the old journals

31:25

you have with anything in them. Start fresh. Okay. I

31:27

always like to do this too. If I want to

31:29

start a new chapter of my life, I replace everything

31:33

old with new things. So go buy a new

31:35

journal, get some new pens, whatever it

31:37

is. When you're waking up

31:39

in the morning, get a coffee, whatever it is you drink,

31:42

have your breakfast and sit down, shut

31:44

your phone off. I have a separate do not

31:46

disturb option on my phone now. It's called healing

31:49

and it's just this option where none of my

31:51

apps are available and it's no notifications or anything.

31:53

The only thing is my wallpaper is my vision

31:55

board and it's just like a super motivating

31:58

and inspiring thing for me to be able to. look at

32:00

in the morning. That's the only thing on this setting

32:02

on my phone. So

32:05

just make sure you're not distracted and

32:07

take this time to journal and listen to

32:09

that stream of consciousness, just like pouring out

32:11

on the paper where you're like, this is

32:13

my higher self talking. What do I want

32:16

out of my life? Am I

32:18

the best version of myself right now? Do I think

32:21

I can improve in any ways? What am I actually

32:23

looking for? Am I happy with the current relationship that

32:25

I'm in? Am I happy with the current friendships that

32:27

I'm in? Am I happy in my life in general?

32:29

Am I fulfilling my purpose? Am

32:31

I really listening to my

32:33

higher calling? Whatever it may

32:35

be, write everything down. These

32:39

things are so important because we often just,

32:41

as I said, can easily distract ourselves from

32:43

our inner voice and suppress and ignore it.

32:46

And when we're journaling, we actually shut the

32:48

world off for an hour to a day.

32:50

It doesn't have to be that long.

32:52

But for me, I like to take an hour a day

32:54

to really do this, just sitting with my thoughts and writing

32:57

things down. And seeing also,

32:59

it as a magical

33:01

challenge in a way to see how much I

33:03

can actually change my life

33:05

and up level. It's like a game in a way,

33:07

but it's a fun game because I look at life

33:09

as like this simulation in a way where you have

33:11

the power to control your reality through

33:14

your thoughts and through your belief systems. And

33:16

I think for me, when

33:18

I write down my manifestations or things I want to

33:20

accomplish or where I want to see myself in five

33:22

years from now, when

33:24

I start to see those things slowly

33:27

becoming true in my physical reality, it's

33:29

so fucking exciting. I'm like, Oh my

33:31

God, I actually did that. Like I've

33:33

written things down and a week later

33:35

they've manifested out of thin air where

33:37

I'm like, how the fuck did that

33:39

happen? For example, recently there was someone

33:41

that I actually had wanted

33:43

to communicate with and I hadn't spoken to him

33:46

in a very long time. And I wrote about

33:48

it in my journal and I

33:50

was just thinking about it. And there

33:53

was this inner knowing that it was happening. I was

33:55

like, this is going to happen. Something's going to happen

33:57

where there's going to be some sort of communication happening.

34:00

really soon. I

34:02

swear to you four days later this person texted me

34:04

I haven't spoken to them in months. Four

34:07

days later that was all it took and

34:09

that was because I suddenly transformed my energy

34:11

and realized that I have an inner knowing

34:13

that that's happening. So that's

34:15

why I say everything is like this fun game

34:17

to me because it's like what can you actually

34:19

manifest if you truly believe it's possible for you

34:21

right? So that's

34:24

the next step is just writing

34:26

things down knowing what you want and believing

34:28

that it's possible for you. And the next

34:30

step is learning about the

34:33

art of detachment and learning how to truly release

34:35

and let go of anything or anyone that isn't

34:37

serving your highest good which is actually one of

34:40

the most important steps because people

34:42

and situations that are not good for you

34:44

will block you from accessing your higher timeline.

34:47

So you have to get really honest with

34:49

yourself, honesty, just being authentic

34:51

with who you are and having that

34:53

conversation with yourself and knowing who's actually

34:55

right for you and following that path

34:58

of releasing what's no longer serving your

35:00

growth is scary because it's really hard

35:02

when you are attached to someone and

35:06

as intimidating as that might be and

35:08

terrifying because you're diving into the unknown,

35:10

once again having that faith and having

35:12

that trust that your higher

35:14

self knows better than you do and

35:16

is just trying to guide you in

35:18

the right direction, that's what helps

35:21

me release and let go. And this is

35:23

what my course covers too. So for example,

35:25

if you're writing down in your journal, I

35:28

know that this person has made me a

35:30

lesser version of myself and I need to

35:32

let this person go in order to heal

35:34

and evolve but I'm afraid that's your inner

35:37

voice telling you that they're probably not aligned

35:40

with the highest version of you and it's probably the

35:42

best decision to let them go. So

35:46

just being aware of what's good for you

35:48

and what's not and really leaning into that

35:50

and trusting that if you let this go,

35:52

it'll open more doors for you and it'll

35:54

open a brand new experience for you, That

35:58

is also the key to really time out. In

36:00

your house Potential. Another

36:02

thing I like to do is refraining my

36:05

mindset. Why would it be a

36:07

positive thing to let this person go? Why?

36:09

Would be a positive thing to let

36:11

go that toxic relationship or that career

36:13

whatever situation it is. How.

36:15

Can it be positive? What is the best

36:18

case scenario that could happen if I choose

36:20

to actually let go and lean into that

36:22

more. Just get fucking real with yourself. And.

36:25

Hop into that version of you that's asking

36:27

yourself a deep meaningful questions. What do I

36:29

need out of life? What's really going to

36:31

make me truly happy? Is this person making

36:34

me happy? Or do I know I deserve

36:36

a million times better? What's gonna make me

36:38

feel fulfilled? What? Is my actual

36:40

calling? What is my purpose in this

36:42

lifetime? Am I really living truthfully? Or

36:44

am I just living out of fear

36:46

and my blocking myself because I'm so

36:48

fucking terrified to. Change. Anything about

36:51

my life. If you knew you

36:53

had a month left to live which I always

36:55

frame things this way because. Life

36:57

is unpredictable on I don't want to be

36:59

like darker more bed but. Life.

37:02

Is unpredictable and. Sometimes.

37:04

You have to refrain it in this way because

37:07

it's precious. Like the time you have here now

37:09

is so process that. It's so

37:11

beneficial to think of it this way. Like, if

37:13

I had a limited amount of time, what would

37:15

I be doing right now? Would I be sitting

37:17

on my phone waiting for this guy to answer

37:20

my tax? Or would I be outliving my best

37:22

slave, tapping into my highest potential, doing whatever it

37:24

is by want to do and just when living.

37:27

As. Much as I can live gray, you're not

37:29

like so consumed in someone elses energy, but you're

37:31

really putting all your energy into yourself because you

37:33

know you have a limited timeframe. So.

37:36

Like to think about things like that. kill. And.

37:41

I'm just gonna enter the same really quickly

37:43

because the reason I created my course there

37:45

to detach was literally to learn how to

37:48

detach and for yourself from all that stuff

37:50

and all the stuff that may be weighing

37:52

you down on feels heavy and. If

37:54

you're feeling south, if you're feeling blocked, Dot.

37:57

is what my courses therefore and all the technique

38:00

used to let go and release all the blockages in my

38:02

life, all the steps I've taken to heal. They're

38:04

all a part of their detach. We have

38:06

such a beautiful, amazing community. We're supporting

38:09

each other through the healing process and

38:11

detachment process. And I know how it

38:13

could be so challenging and intimidating to

38:16

let go of people in situations because

38:19

when we're used to having someone or something in our life,

38:21

it can feel impossible to let go of. So

38:23

that's what I created the course for. And

38:25

it's basically there to get you to

38:27

the next level of your life if you're looking

38:30

to make drastic changes. And just

38:32

a reminder, you could always use the code

38:34

selflove at checkout. You can find the link

38:36

to my course in the show notes or

38:38

on my Instagram at date yourself instead. Now

38:42

the other thing is tapping. Now my

38:45

best friend is an EFT practitioner. You

38:47

can go listen to the how to

38:49

stop being attracted to the wrong people

38:51

episode. Her name is Haley. She's one

38:53

of my closest dearest friends. And she

38:55

was recently just on the podcast. If you've

38:57

listened to that episode already, you know she

39:01

does the EFT work and introduced me to it. It

39:03

helps people heal and rewire their

39:05

subconscious mind through tapping on acupressure

39:08

points and alleviate stress and anxiety.

39:10

And I've done this to clear so many

39:13

anxious thoughts, fears, any blockages that are getting

39:15

in the way of my growth. And

39:17

I definitely recommend incorporating EFT into

39:19

your daily routine. If you're ever

39:21

feeling anxious about your future, if

39:24

you're ever feeling really stressed out

39:26

or sad or depressed or angry,

39:28

any emotions that you don't want

39:30

to be experiencing, EFT is such

39:33

a game changer. It regulates your

39:35

nervous system. I think eventually I'm

39:37

going to host something with her

39:39

like a Zoom live workshop or something

39:41

revolving around tapping. But it really

39:43

is an amazing addition to everything else.

39:45

And I

39:47

recommend to start going on YouTube

39:50

and searching tapping videos and tapping

39:53

on those pressure points if you're anxious, if

39:55

you're nervous, if you're stressed, if you're scared

39:57

of something. And you say these affirmations

39:59

based on the information. Basically, every time

40:01

I've had an issue, every time I've had a

40:03

negative emotion come up, tapping has

40:05

changed the game for me. And it's just

40:08

so incredible, also, the result in my

40:10

physical reality. I've seen just from healing

40:12

relationships to healing money wounds when I

40:14

was broke and I was going through

40:17

the shittiest financial situation ever a

40:19

couple of years ago, I tapped

40:21

on that. I've tapped on my love

40:23

relationships. I've tapped on my friendships. And

40:25

my life has transformed

40:28

in crazy, crazy, crazy ways. Another

40:33

helpful thing is affirmations, which I've also mentioned

40:35

so many times to people. I cannot recommend

40:37

this enough. I suggested this to everyone I

40:40

know, writing affirmations in your phone and saying

40:42

them out loud every morning or whenever you

40:44

need a little confidence boost. You could say

40:46

things like, I am confident. I am stepping

40:49

into my power. I am so powerful

40:51

and magnetic everywhere I go. I am so

40:54

sure of my decision making. I am

40:56

trusting the process of my life. I

40:58

have unwavering faith in the universe. I know

41:00

what I want. I'm a decisive person,

41:02

whatever it is that you're trying to

41:04

work on. Create

41:07

affirmations around that. I like to customize

41:09

my own affirmations because I think

41:11

everyone is trying to attain different things. So

41:14

whatever feels right to you, create

41:16

your own affirmations, write them in

41:18

your phone and say them frequently.

41:21

It's not a one-time thing. As I said, it's not

41:23

a one-time exercise. Treat it as if you have to

41:25

brush your teeth, right? Every morning you wake up, you're

41:27

going to brush your teeth, I hope. So

41:30

just treat it as a habit is my point

41:32

versus just like doing it once and never doing

41:35

it again. Because as I

41:37

said, the brain needs repetition in order

41:39

to really absorb the information and have

41:41

things manifest into your reality. Another

41:45

thing to quickly remind you is that you

41:47

get what you focus on in life. You

41:49

are manifesting based on your subconscious and where

41:51

your current thoughts are at. So if you're

41:53

constantly focused on negative things, My

41:55

life is never going to get better, my life sucks,

41:57

I'm never going to meet anyone, I'm going to die

41:59

alone. X. Y z Whatever your fears

42:01

may be, that is what is going to show up

42:03

for you. Just. Keep this

42:05

a my as you're practicing this idea

42:08

of hopping into your higher self interest

42:10

understanding that. You. Get what you

42:12

focus on, so just be aware of the

42:14

people you're surrounded by. What? Other

42:16

people are telling you what you're telling

42:18

yourself and just be gentle with yourself

42:20

and understand that the more positively you

42:22

think and the more positively you can

42:24

we frame your thoughts. The. Better your

42:26

reality will the com. And

42:29

with that being said, That. Concludes

42:31

today's episode. Thank. You so

42:34

much as always for listening To Date yourself

42:36

and said if you haven't already be sore

42:38

to rate the podcast on Abu on Spotify.

42:40

It means so much to me and helps

42:42

the so grow. Share this episode with a

42:44

friend if you enjoyed it. I love you!

42:46

Thank you again as always and stay tuned

42:48

for next Monday.