0:00

Tin Man ministries.org,

0:02

connecting you to lots of great

0:04

resources. When we're looking at

0:07

being healthy emotionally.

0:09

And Phil Herndon is with us to talk

0:12

it through this morning. (800) 555-7898

0:16

Phil, got a question for you. A friend

0:19

has been married 37 years.

0:21

And finally, in

0:23

this 37 years, completely abusive,

0:26

uh, marriage, he leaves

0:28

for another person. And

0:30

our friend has now been remarried

0:32

for 16 months. Wonderful, godly

0:34

man loves unconditionally.

0:38

But there are triggers.

0:40

And now our friend is finding herself

0:42

saying, I know he doesn't

0:44

mean anything by it, but there's something

0:47

he says or does that takes me back,

0:49

and I want to learn something new

0:51

so that I recognize it and I

0:53

can control it. Instead of the anxiety coming up

0:56

and just threatening to basically

0:58

choke me. What can I do?

0:59

And what a loving question. And

1:02

I'm so glad they emailed or called

1:04

in that that question. So. Several

1:07

things in play with a situation like this.

1:09

First of all, that's a lot of the battle

1:11

is just to be able the way this this person

1:14

framed that up is really clear

1:16

and painful. And and so

1:19

down to the point. So give

1:21

a metaphor if I could for this,

1:23

we all have inside of us. It's

1:25

just a way of looking at who we are.

1:28

We all have inside of us roles that we've

1:30

played. And this

1:32

this email person

1:34

has said, hey, I was married.

1:37

And so there is inside

1:39

of her this wife role

1:41

that she played for 37 years. It

1:43

was very painful. And

1:45

in her brain. In your brain, ma'am,

1:48

who emailed that in in your brain you

1:50

have stored, chronologically speaking,

1:52

37 years of defending

1:55

yourself in a very dangerous situation.

1:58

And so your brain is equipped to protect

2:00

you first before you can

2:02

connect. The brain does two things. It does

2:04

connection and protection, but it does protection

2:06

first. And so the good news

2:08

is your brain is working beautifully

2:11

because it's protecting you from something happening.

2:13

Again. Your left brain,

2:15

as you pointed out the other side of your brain says,

2:18

well, wait a minute, this isn't the same person. So

2:21

again, this is a metaphor. If

2:23

you would spend some time before the Lord in your quiet

2:25

time and in your car wherever you go,

2:27

and you would pay attention to

2:29

there is a there is 37 years

2:32

of history living inside your heart or your

2:34

limbic brain. And what happens

2:36

is that part of your brain is going to protect

2:38

you no matter who's in front of you.

2:40

And so if you could pay attention to that

2:42

part of you that lived in that for 37

2:44

years, ask the Lord to pay attention to

2:47

that heart inside that wife that

2:49

did that for 37 years and spend time

2:51

away from when you're not being

2:54

triggered, just paying attention to, hey, there's

2:56

a history that lives inside my heart

2:58

and my limbic brain that

3:00

is really interested in protecting me, because

3:02

for 37 years I needed it. And

3:04

so when you're not standing in front of your

3:06

husband now, who loves you so well,

3:09

um, you're able to kind of come

3:11

to some terms with that and settle down that part

3:13

of your brain that's so reactive when you

3:15

hear or see that trigger,

3:17

when.

3:18

You say, pay attention to that

3:20

37 year old or that

3:22

wife or who for 37 years

3:24

lived with that abusive, alcoholic

3:26

husband, what

3:28

does that mean to pay attention

3:30

to that?

3:31

Yeah, that that gets into a little kind

3:34

of acrostic that we use a lot. It's um,

3:36

identify just identify what's happening.

3:38

And, and you know, pro tip, it's

3:40

probably going to be fear because

3:42

living that way for 37 years is really

3:45

scary, frustrating and all the other things

3:47

too. But man, so scary to live

3:49

that way for 37 years. And

3:52

so pay, name or identify what's

3:54

happening and then explore

3:56

again. This is not when you're necessarily standing

3:58

in front of your husband now, but uh, or

4:00

sitting with him. Explore what

4:03

is that story, what is going on, and

4:05

then express that out loud

4:07

that may mean plug here. That

4:09

may mean a ten man coach. That may mean

4:11

a mentor. That may mean a pastor.

4:13

That may mean just a dear friend over a cup

4:15

of coffee somewhere. But just to to

4:17

be able to identify what's happening, probably

4:20

fear explore what that's

4:22

all about, even though it may have been

4:24

35 years ago or whatever, just to explore what

4:26

that's about and then express that

4:28

to someone who will help you deal with that

4:30

safely, and then journaling

4:33

things like that, meditating on God's Word. It's

4:35

almost like it's kind of like what Paul

4:37

said in Romans seven, like there there are two natures

4:39

in me. Well, inside of this

4:42

lady who who called that in there

4:44

are two wives, so to speak. And

4:46

so she's battling that same type

4:48

of thing by saying there are two things going

4:50

to war here. And, uh, and

4:53

the brain says, that's right. And when it

4:55

comes down to protecting you or

4:57

connecting with him, we're going I'm going to protect you

4:59

first.

5:00

Um, managing the things.

5:01

That have happened to us is kind of what we

5:04

are spending the rest of our adult lives doing,

5:06

isn't it? We're trying to manage what

5:08

is keeping us turned upside

5:10

down, and it could be something that's

5:12

happening to us right now. But a lot of time

5:14

it has something to do with our backstory.

5:17

And I think it's hard

5:19

to recognize how much our backstory

5:22

because we don't want to blame parents. Maybe

5:24

we do, but if we're trying not to blame

5:26

somebody in our past, uh,

5:29

we get stuck. But Phil,

5:31

how much can that backstory,

5:33

that back experience, that 37 years,

5:35

how much can it truly play in

5:37

our current seeking

5:39

of emotional well-being?

5:41

It it has everything

5:43

to do with that. There's a great book out there.

5:45

Don't buy it. It's 585 pages

5:47

of science. So it's

5:50

called The Master and His Emissaries,

5:53

written by Doctor Ian Mcgilchrist, and he

5:55

talks about how the

5:57

the right brain is the master.

5:59

That doesn't mean the left brain is unimportant.

6:01

It doesn't mean we don't think. It doesn't mean we don't

6:03

need to think. It means that

6:06

the. Limbic brain. Our life

6:08

experiences are going to

6:10

inform our thinking. And

6:12

so if we just pay attention to the fact that, hey,

6:15

I have a story, it doesn't

6:17

mean it has to dictate. But

6:19

when when God's Word says guard your

6:21

heart, we tend to think it means cordon it

6:23

off and put a fence around it. It actually means

6:25

to watch it, watch

6:27

what's happening in there. That's the wellspring

6:29

of life. That's where things come from. What comes

6:32

out of us is what's in us. And so when

6:34

when Scripture says, guard your heart,

6:37

it's talking about lay. Pay

6:39

attention to that thing because it is

6:41

the wellspring of life, your

6:44

will and affections. It says that's where all that comes

6:46

from. And so as we're paying attention to our story,

6:48

that's where our story lives.

6:50

Hmm. All right. So there's so much more that

6:52

we need to get into with Phil in just a

6:54

little bit. But maybe you've got a question or comment.

6:56

Feel free to jump in. You can

6:58

text this morning at (800) 555-7898.

7:03

That's (800) 555-7898.

7:08

We're going to come back to that in just

7:10

a moment. And we have Phil Herndon in

7:12

studio with us. Phil's with Tin Man Ministries.

7:14

You can check them out. Tin Man Ministries org

7:17

A lot of great resources there. But Phil I want

7:19

to pick back up on the conversation we're having

7:21

a moment ago with, uh, this

7:23

anonymous, uh, listener who texted

7:25

in that dealing with

7:27

37 years of being in an abusive

7:30

marriage got out.

7:32

Her husband left her, remarried 16

7:34

months to a new husband. And you said,

7:36

okay, so there's work to be done, and

7:38

there's a lot of work that can be happening, you know,

7:40

not in front of her current husband right

7:42

now. That can help. But when

7:45

you recognize the fact that you're being triggered,

7:48

is there something you can do in the moment

7:50

when limbic brain fires

7:52

and says, I need to protect

7:54

you, and that there's that other side

7:56

of the brain that probably recognizes like,

7:58

okay, yeah, but

8:00

it's not him and I.

8:03

And is there a way to kind of make

8:05

limbic brain limbic brain

8:07

go a little bit quieter so we don't

8:09

have to, uh, have all

8:11

the potential shrapnel firing and

8:13

hitting? And in that moment,

8:15

there.

8:16

Actually is and it's, believe it or not, scientifically

8:18

based guy named Matthew Friedman

8:21

at UCLA, not too awful long ago.

8:23

I'll do the shortcut version. He did

8:25

research on that question,

8:27

like how does a person regulate

8:29

themselves emotionally when

8:32

faced with trauma? And so

8:34

they had, uh, people in a lab, of course,

8:36

and they looked at, uh, very

8:38

expressive faces with unpleasant

8:40

feelings, like people raging or super

8:42

sad. And they had them,

8:44

they said, okay, when you look at this photograph,

8:47

I want you to name give

8:49

that person who's on that screen

8:51

a name. Just name the person's

8:53

face. And they measured brain activity and

8:55

brain stress levels were pretty high, like,

8:57

oh man, that so.

8:59

But they're only giving the name the second round.

9:02

They said, we're going to show you these faces, very expressive

9:04

faces. With another group. I

9:06

want you to assign a feeling to that

9:09

face and a feeling to yourself.

9:11

And the differences in the brain activity

9:13

were were profound. The

9:16

stress level on the second groups

9:18

were so dramatically lowered.

9:20

Friedman created this theory, or,

9:22

well, actually a theory based on the research that says,

9:25

oh, when we become aware

9:27

of what's going on in here and name

9:29

it. And if in her marriage,

9:32

this sounds like a blessing that that her husband

9:34

now would be willing to receive that

9:36

if she were just to say, this is where I

9:38

get really scared with you. I know

9:40

it isn't you necessarily, but right now I

9:42

am triggered like crazy just

9:44

to name that her brain will literally

9:47

change in real time. It

9:49

takes reps, it takes practice. It's

9:51

so much easier to sit in a studio

9:53

in Nashville than it is to do it

9:55

where she lives. I totally understand that.

9:58

But when we get reps around that,

10:00

and when her husband is able to contain

10:02

that from her and she doesn't become

10:05

a project to be fixed to

10:07

her or to him, and she said,

10:09

I'm going to need some reps to

10:11

to talk, talk out loud

10:13

about the emotional level

10:15

I'm in right this minute about what's

10:17

happening in real time. And that's

10:19

Friedman's research at UCLA.

10:22

When you are looking at something

10:24

unpleasant, whether he means to be or not,

10:26

or your brain is telling you, get away from him,

10:28

get away from this, if you will just

10:31

be able to name what's happening

10:33

inside of her in this

10:35

case and let him know

10:37

what she sees on his face,

10:40

her brain will change.

10:41

Yeah, that's.

10:42

Just fascinating how God has created

10:44

the brain once again and what we're learning about

10:46

it, you said contained. So if he

10:48

can contain what she is sharing,

10:50

meaning, receive it, listen,

10:52

hear it, not necessarily fix

10:54

it and don't I'm guessing don't

10:56

dismiss it.

10:58

Yeah, really good idea. Yeah.

11:00

Don't dismiss that. And that gets down

11:02

to the the other side of the equation.

11:04

This lady's husband. That

11:06

containment thing is a huge deal.

11:08

Containment doesn't mean you can

11:10

do or say whatever you want and destroy the house

11:13

and destroy me. It doesn't mean that containment means

11:15

you can struggle and you

11:17

can say things, and you can name

11:19

things, and I can sit here with

11:21

you and we will absorb it together.

11:24

So we often think, I'll just take it, take it, take

11:26

it. You can abuse me. Do whatever you want to. To me.

11:29

That's not what containment means. Containment means

11:31

you can have big feelings and you can

11:33

name things. And I will sit with you

11:35

as you do it. I will absorb

11:37

that. So? So it's taking part of this off

11:40

of you. And so that couple, if

11:42

she gets a lot of reps in just

11:44

naming what's happening in real time,

11:46

and that rep includes a

11:48

containment of that, to say I

11:50

hear that loud and clear things will change

11:52

in both brains, and the resonance between them

11:55

will change. And back to Donald Hebb's

11:57

in the 1950s, he said, neurotransmitters

11:59

that that fire together wire

12:01

together, they will find themselves wiring

12:03

together in their neurotransmitters,

12:05

and it will change the the way they interact.

12:08

Is it helpful for the husband when

12:10

he sees that this is beginning,

12:12

like his wife is beginning to go there

12:14

like limbic brain has fired? Yes.

12:17

Is it helpful for him to say, okay,

12:19

hang on, what are you feeling right now? What are you experiencing?

12:21

Can he help in the process?

12:24

He can. And there's even another step.

12:26

Great point Steve. There's even a

12:28

step to where she can say when they're

12:30

not in that kind of conflict, where

12:33

she where they can say, let's talk about how

12:35

to do this. And she can say, here's what

12:37

I need you to say and how I need you

12:39

to say it. Like screaming,

12:41

you're raging. Probably not a good idea,

12:43

right? I'm thinking no, no, right.

12:46

But but there are ways that she can

12:48

hear that that's safer for her than others.

12:50

And she knows that to tell him.

12:52

That's so.

12:53

Good, so helpful. The practical steps.

12:55

Brian, thank you for your question. We're going to come back

12:57

and look at that from a husband's point

12:59

of view, a question about how

13:02

to enter into those conversations as

13:04

well. And just kind of following up, Steve, on what

13:06

you're saying, Micah Tyler, right now, though, and

13:08

I see, Grace, this conversation

13:11

has God's hands all over it,

13:13

grace in our lives so that

13:15

we love one another well, which

13:17

is what he's called us to do. All right.

13:19

Thanks for your text, Brian. Let's

13:22

ask this question, Phil, as we

13:24

talk about healthy relationships

13:26

and what we can do to help one another,

13:28

the Lord ask us to love him

13:30

first and love one another

13:32

second. And so if we're having a hard

13:34

time because of all of our experiences,

13:36

then we need to look at those experiences

13:39

and how they're influencing our relationships.

13:41

We've talked about if you're a wife

13:43

for 37 years, you're in an abusive

13:46

relationship. He leaves

13:48

you eventually remarry 16

13:50

months in. And how what to

13:53

do with that? What if you are the husband

13:55

of the wife, the new husband, and

13:57

you're trying not to step on the pain?

13:59

You're trying to help. But maybe,

14:01

maybe she doesn't even realize what's

14:04

happening. How can the husband

14:06

help in this situation?

14:08

Yeah, that's a, you know, very

14:10

common, actually. I mean, I've heard that a lot.

14:12

Anyone in helping maybe

14:15

friends have heard these stories, um,

14:17

because of these situations. And I'm going

14:19

to give a three that

14:21

Baptist pastor memory

14:24

memory device here, mnemonic device

14:26

an alliteration. And so

14:28

this really goes across any kind

14:30

of relationship, but certainly one with

14:32

that question like okay, how

14:35

can I walk alongside someone in this case

14:37

my wife or friend, whoever? How

14:39

can I walk alongside this person really hurting

14:41

that I know has these landmines

14:43

in their life that I step on and don't don't

14:45

mean to and don't want to? So the first

14:47

word is, is passion. And

14:49

passion is simply means pain.

14:52

It's like for that husband or actually

14:54

both to say, am I willing to be in pain

14:56

to get to a different place? Pain

14:59

may be this is scary. This is hard. This is

15:01

frustrating. This that walking in the mud.

15:03

But will I experience the pain

15:05

of saying, I want to live with you?

15:07

Well, I want to be intimate with you

15:10

and caring for you and us to be able to,

15:12

you know, fight well, quote unquote love.

15:14

Well, talk well, passion. And

15:16

the second one is purpose. What is this for?

15:19

And so this this couple sits

15:21

down and says, okay, I'm

15:24

willing to deal with the pain of of seeing

15:26

where you are and hearing where you are. And the wife

15:28

says, I'm willing to deal with the pain of where I've

15:30

been to say that out loud to you,

15:32

not in a accusatory

15:35

manner or when I'm triggered, but when we're when

15:37

we're not triggered about anything, we're

15:39

having conversation. I will deal with the pain

15:41

of where I've been with you,

15:43

and for the purpose of us

15:45

drawing closer together, me containing

15:48

a new containing. And then the plan

15:50

comes from that. So passion, purpose, plan.

15:52

And so for this couple to come up with a plan,

15:54

for instance, like, hey, honey,

15:56

there may be some words that are really inflammatory

15:59

to you that really scare you, particularly

16:01

words, phrases look on my face,

16:03

whatever it may be, let me know so we

16:05

can plan. And how to do this, but

16:07

the plan is an outcome of the first two.

16:10

We often want to start with a plan and

16:12

try to work the plan. Then it gets off kilter.

16:14

We just give up on the plan. But if the plan

16:16

comes from passion that says I'll deal

16:18

with pain, purpose that says in

16:20

order for us to draw closer, I'll stick in this

16:22

with you. The plan comes from that

16:25

so that that kind of clears

16:27

the airways for this couple to say or

16:29

people to say, okay, how

16:31

best can I love you by

16:33

how I speak with you, how

16:36

what I say, how I say it

16:38

and like, let's let's outline it won't

16:40

be perfect, but let's outline a way

16:43

I can do this with you as your container

16:45

grows and your willingness to talk about

16:47

these things grows, and your nervous system

16:50

settles down to where the trigger points aren't so

16:52

active.

16:54

I get that in full

16:56

concept and it sounds great,

16:58

but I would imagine in the execution

17:01

of working out that plan, sometimes you

17:03

get off track a little bit, you stumble a little bit.

17:05

I want it to be like a hawk

17:07

landing on something. It's more like a bumblebee.

17:09

It's like the bumblebee does

17:12

get to that flower. But man, it just

17:14

takes the scenic route and it goes around

17:16

here. That's that's kind of how growing intimately

17:19

happens. It's like, I wish it were a

17:21

straighter line. And that's what we try to do

17:23

when we flip that script of plan, purpose,

17:25

passion. We try to find our

17:27

passion. For instance, if we start with passion,

17:30

start with the weird. This is going to be painful,

17:33

and I'm going to deal with pain of feeling

17:35

shame or anger or fear that I've

17:37

said it badly, or I'm going to feel

17:39

it because I know you're not trying to harm

17:41

me, but I am triggered dealing

17:44

with all of that. Um, it really

17:46

lays the groundwork for a straighter

17:48

path, but to guarantee one another.

17:50

Oh, this is so Bumblebee.

17:52

This is so un hawk like.

17:54

I wish we could just swoop in, grab that

17:57

field mouse and just take off, and

17:59

I'm just going to meander. It's going to be hard.

18:01

Um.

18:01

Perfect world, perfect world.

18:03

Both people in a relationship

18:06

or even a friendship. Both people are going

18:08

to come to the table and go, okay, I understand.

18:10

And for the sake of the health of our friendship, our

18:12

our marriage, we're going to do this. The

18:15

other person goes, what

18:17

are you talking about? I'm not

18:19

doing that. Yeah. What

18:21

would you say to protect the heart of the one that's

18:23

willing?

18:24

Yeah. That's where this old

18:27

standby word boundaries. It's like

18:29

that's where you have to really work

18:31

those things out. And if we

18:34

we humans, if we humans would

18:36

just say more about

18:38

what is going on,

18:40

it would just rather than,

18:42

I ain't doing that, I ain't doing that ever.

18:44

Just to say, hey, right now that's

18:46

so scary for me to do, to

18:49

be it. This is a terrible word to use. But there's

18:51

an old phrase that says boundaries are negotiable.

18:53

That sounds terrible. It sounds business and transactional.

18:56

Negotiable just means we can talk about

18:58

this and this thing can move. And

19:00

so to approach one another, it sounds kind

19:03

of protip ish, but to approach one

19:05

another to say, let me let me tell

19:07

you what's underneath what I'm saying.

19:09

I'm not doing that as a comment.

19:12

But underneath that is I have

19:14

experiences like this before. I'm afraid it

19:16

won't work. I'm afraid it will take too long. I'm

19:18

afraid you'll explode like there's all these other things

19:20

that we can say to go very

19:22

slowly, to say, let's look at the underpinning

19:25

of where these really triggering phrases come

19:27

from, so we can just work our

19:29

way into this. And we really we,

19:32

you know, my brother makes a comment

19:34

about me. He says, my brother talking about me, my

19:36

brother stands in front of a microwave and says, hey,

19:38

I don't have all minute. Which

19:41

is kind of true, but, you know, like we're

19:43

this microwave world. We forget

19:46

that that God's pace is so

19:48

often because of humans, so

19:50

much slower than I want. But he is

19:52

teaching and guiding and proving

19:54

himself to be faithful, even as we kind

19:57

of walk through the mud together.

19:59

Bill Herndon of Tin Man Ministries with us

20:01

this morning, and you can find out more and

20:03

connect when you go to Tin Man Ministries.

20:06

Org, that's Tin Man ministries.org

20:09

back with Phil in about three. Well about

20:12

five minutes here on Moody Radio. You

20:14

can always go back and listen to what you missed. And

20:16

you may want to go back and listen to this conversation

20:18

that we've been having throughout the morning with Phil Herndon

20:20

of Tin Man Ministries, Tin Man Ministries.

20:23

Org to connect with that, because,

20:25

Phil, we've covered a lot of ground here,

20:27

talked a lot about, you know what Covid

20:30

exposed. And in thinking

20:32

about some of those things we really kind

20:34

of landed on triggers and how so often

20:36

we do end up being triggered

20:38

in some way wanting to learn how to

20:40

manage that well. And as we kind

20:42

of wrap up our conversation here, uh,

20:45

for the person or the couple,

20:47

the relationship who says we are

20:49

beginning to recognize the fact that

20:52

triggers are real, we're

20:54

doing that. We need to handle

20:57

that better. And take

20:59

us to Scripture for just a moment and help us think through,

21:01

okay, when we're in these relationships,

21:04

how can we not only think scientifically, but

21:06

even biblically about this?

21:07

Yeah, for real, where science

21:09

will in one day that's going to remain

21:12

right. Scripture is going to remain. So,

21:14

you know, there's this guy in scripture you may have heard

21:16

of named Peter. And, uh, he's quite

21:19

the character. And, uh, if you think

21:21

about if there's an overarching

21:23

experience around where we started this

21:25

morning at six with Covid, it's anxiety

21:28

and like, man, this is a scary thing,

21:30

mysterious. What are we doing? Who's doing

21:32

what. Like all that's anxiety that that got

21:35

uncovered that was there. And Peter

21:37

writes later, later in his life

21:40

close to his own death, he writes casting

21:42

like as you, as you walk, casting

21:44

your anxieties on him. The

21:47

if you read what that says in our language,

21:49

it says. Throw

21:51

out of your house that anxiety

21:53

onto him because it matters

21:56

to him concerning you. That's

21:58

very powerful message. It matters him concerning

22:00

you. And we humans will ask a question. Any time

22:03

we meet someone, we'll ask a question. Are

22:05

you safe and do you care about me?

22:07

Those are the two questions we have all the time with other

22:09

people. And Jesus was.

22:11

I think it's in Mark, um, where

22:14

he slips in a little phrase, and Jesus,

22:16

upon his resurrection, says, go tell

22:18

the disciples and Peter

22:20

that I'm alive. And that's such a beautiful

22:22

little piece there. Like I haven't forgotten him.

22:24

I haven't abandoned him. He's going

22:26

to be okay. He's still he's still mine.

22:29

And then later on John 21, the last

22:31

chapter of the book, he restores him to

22:33

ministry. And we we know that story. And

22:35

it's so beautiful how he says, look,

22:38

Peter, it matters to me

22:40

concerning you. So we read that verse

22:42

in First Peter and go, oh, that's cool.

22:45

Peter's writing this years

22:47

removed from that kind of restoration, John

22:50

21. It's such a beautiful, almost like

22:52

a little wink to us, like, hey guys,

22:55

if you want to know from a renowned

22:57

authority on what it means

22:59

for your life to matter to Jesus, I can

23:01

tell you. I can tell you he

23:04

sought me out by name to

23:06

restore me because of his love for me. And so

23:08

we're asking that question of other people.

23:10

Do you care about me? Are you safe?

23:13

Right? Can I be with you? And I know

23:15

there's online. He's not safe. But he's good. But

23:17

he's good and safe. He doesn't do

23:19

safe things that I think are safe. But he's

23:21

safe, right? He is our eternal Savior.

23:23

And so to be able to live out

23:25

that passage, to be casting anxiety

23:28

on him because it matters to him concerning

23:30

you, if we can project that

23:32

to one another in our relationships.

23:34

And hey, Don, Steve, it matters

23:37

to me concerning you. Your life

23:39

matters to me too. That's a such

23:41

a beautiful picture of what Jesus has

23:43

so personally done with Peter, and that Peter

23:45

writes about near the end of his life.

23:47

We see cast.

23:48

Your anxiety on him, for he cares for you

23:50

on just about every plaque, every sign,

23:52

every T-shirt. And yet, Phil, when

23:54

we are casting it out of our house, it gets

23:57

stuck to the hand and you can not

23:59

get rid of it. Uh, when

24:01

when we recognize that and we're still trying to

24:03

trust the Lord with it, what

24:05

do we do? Like I'm saying, Lord,

24:07

you've got this. I know you've got this. Why

24:10

won't I let it go?

24:11

I can still hear my one of my

24:13

professors in school say.

24:16

Read the verses before

24:18

any passage you say.

24:20

Okay, okay. Good idea. So

24:22

that that thought starts

24:25

with. Humble yourselves before

24:27

God and he will exalt you in due

24:29

time. Well, humble means simply

24:32

accepting my limitation in

24:34

humility. I can't do everything. I don't

24:36

know everything. And so in humility

24:39

I say, hey, I'm limited. You're

24:41

not. So I'm humbling myself before

24:43

you and remember the word the tent,

24:45

it's casting your anxiety,

24:48

which means it is not

24:50

even meant in this world. It's not

24:52

meant to be a one time thing.

24:54

Peter's language is very intentional

24:56

as we humble ourselves

24:59

before the mighty hand of God,

25:01

recognizing neediness and limitation

25:03

from each other and from him, then

25:06

we are able to be positioned. We'll

25:08

say it this way lyrically, emotionally, relationally

25:11

positioned to in an ongoing

25:13

manner, continue casting anxieties.

25:16

Because rumor is the world

25:18

doesn't stop being crazy just

25:20

because I've cast my anxiety.

25:22

And so we just do that in a continual manner

25:24

under the under the, the, the umbrella

25:27

of. I am bringing my limitation, neediness

25:29

to him so I can continue to cast this on

25:31

him.

25:32

We know that the.

25:33

Lord has us. That's why our relationship

25:35

with.

25:35

Him is.

25:36

The starting point. More information

25:38

on our website. Moody radio, my

25:41

moody radio org. That upper right hand corner.

25:43

But Phil Herndon with us Tin Man

25:45

Ministries. Org and if you missed any

25:47

of the conversation it'll be posted later

25:50

today. Don and steve.org.