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apply. See mintmobile.com. You're

1:26

listening to the SansPants Network. I've

1:31

known many evil places in my time, but

1:33

this realm, called Barovia, is

1:35

among the most dangerous. A man

1:38

could drown here, though he wouldn't

1:40

need any water to do so.

1:42

This place is ruled by a

1:45

man, no more a

1:47

creature actually, known as Strahd von

1:49

Zarovich. It is said that anyone

1:51

who can slay him will be set free. If

1:55

they don't die in the attempt, of course. Gorb

1:58

and Lushan are covered in bikers. You

2:00

can see they're turning green. Grab

2:03

both of their- either side of

2:06

the head and I cast Lesser

2:08

Restoration. You cast Lesser Restoration? You

2:14

drag out of them black awful

2:16

looking icaroon bile and then you

2:19

throw it into the ground. Cora,

2:21

fashion, when you're fighting these again,

2:23

do it from a

2:26

distance. It's from a distance until we have to do

2:28

what you did, we don't need to do that. Cora

2:33

and Lushan have nothing to say. Fair

2:35

enough. I also

2:37

go and check on Iris and maybe

2:39

the horses. Fuck,

2:42

how far has she made it? She's

2:46

kind of like it. The

2:50

horses that bolted are gone. Yep.

2:53

You're not recovering them. Okay. You're

2:55

going to dissolve? Yes, I think so. Yeah. You've

2:58

lost your horses. Yeah. Yeah.

3:00

Yeah. You've lost

3:02

your horses. All right. So, you

3:05

can track down Iris however, but that's

3:07

going to be some time. You

3:10

follow her. Even

3:12

after the fight, she's not looking behind her, she just keeps

3:14

running through the snow, so you need to run after

3:16

her. Yeah. When I can, in

3:18

your shot I'll call after her. It's going to

3:20

take you a minute, but you can go do

3:22

that. All right, Pip, you begin exchanging heads and

3:25

hearts. Okay. You getting anyone else to help?

3:27

I don't know if I trust anyone else. There's

3:29

a lot. There are a lot. I'll

3:31

get Taapos and Pirin to help.

3:34

Garment Lushan are the ones I trust the least

3:36

anyway, and they need to sit down and rest.

3:38

All right. Each of you needs to

3:40

make nine checks. God. You get

3:42

a plus three. Oh, plus one, sorry. Okay.

3:47

Took it down a little bit, I noticed. Well, that's what

3:49

it is. Yeah, no, no, fair enough. Sorry. How

3:52

many you win?

3:56

All successes. We

3:58

nail it every time. Time. Gotta

4:01

be. God

4:06

damn bogman. Fucking bogman.

4:09

Tarpus's modifier is 9. Okay.

4:12

Maybe they're the best at this.

4:15

What check is it? Medicine.

4:18

Mmm. That makes sense. And

4:23

Piran. What's Piran's modifier? Alright.

4:28

Takes you a while. But you

4:30

do it. Okay. How

4:33

many do they know they whiffed?

4:36

You know you whiffed a few, but you kept going until

4:38

you fixed it. Okay. That's good. Okay. Alright.

4:41

Then I'll just drag them into a pile and... Alright.

4:45

Just wait, I guess, for Hector to come back.

4:47

Yeah. Hector, you come back not long

4:49

after this. Okay. I

4:52

was like either holding irons or... I'll come

4:54

back part way through this, to be honest.

4:56

Either holding... I don't know. What state is

4:58

she in? Is it like do

5:00

I need to hold her, do I need to

5:02

hold her hands? At a certain point, chasing down

5:04

Iris, she trips and stumbles in the snow, hitting

5:07

the ground. She begins to

5:09

start crawling away. She's unable to get

5:11

back up onto her feet. It's

5:13

not so much crawling as it is... Well, it is

5:15

crawling, but one of her arms is fucked.

5:19

She is half crawling, dragging herself

5:21

with her good arm. Can you hear her

5:23

sobbing and crying into the snow? It's okay.

5:25

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

5:28

Okay. It's okay. It's best

5:30

to calm her down. You manage to calm her down, and

5:33

you're able to pick

5:35

her up, and she's

5:38

just comatose almost in your arms. Because I can

5:40

hold her, right? I know like this, she's got

5:42

very long arms and legs, but I can't keep

5:44

her. I'll

5:47

pick her up and make sure

5:49

that she's not seeing what we're seeing. She's shivering into

5:51

your arms. If I can, just

5:53

put her into my shoulder and just be like, it's

5:56

going to be alright. It starts

5:58

snowing again. Dammit. Going

6:01

to be okay. The

6:03

time you get back to the group,

6:05

the snow is mixed with rain. It

6:07

looks like two different levels of cloud

6:09

cover have come to cause an awful.

6:12

It creates a lot of ice

6:14

because the snow falls down or

6:16

the water, sorry, falls down, becomes

6:19

liquid water. The snow chills it

6:21

so that it's your footsteps become

6:23

incredibly treacherous. Every time you step

6:25

down, it's snow, snow, snow, snow,

6:27

ice. How far away

6:30

from the link up? No, it's gonna

6:32

say the wagon. All right. The wagon, you're quite close

6:34

to it. You can try to drive it to it.

6:37

You can deal with, I just did like

6:39

one hand still holding you just with

6:41

all of I give you a thumbs up. whatever you

6:43

need. I'm just like a little bit

6:45

of shelter. You head over to the wagon and

6:47

you put her in there. She

6:49

looks around the wagon, tears streaming

6:52

down her face. And

6:54

I am very sorry if this has happened to

6:56

you. But at least you're out of the

6:58

snow now and hopefully we'll be

7:00

somewhere safer. She crawls

7:03

away from you into the wagon

7:05

and there's a little table in

7:07

the wagon, food preparation area. She

7:10

crawls underneath the table. Okay. Yes.

7:13

I do my best to, does

7:16

it look like I wouldn't be able to move in

7:18

this sort of rain and snow or are we

7:20

hungering down for a bit? Probably

7:22

hugger there. Yeah. I start maybe clearing a little bit

7:24

of things so I can start putting together a fire.

7:27

Okay. Oh yeah. Once we're

7:29

done with the zombies, I'll put them in a pile.

7:33

You're going through them. Yeah.

7:35

I've checked them apparently. It's apparently all good.

7:37

I meant for like your monster parts. Of

7:40

course. I'll have gutted them while I was

7:42

going through them. Check it out. Oh

7:44

no, you might get some monster parts. Just,

7:47

just, yeah, no, you absolutely could get some monster

7:49

parts. It'd probably be a lot less because they.

7:52

But they're just, yeah, they're not inherently.

7:54

Bald man don't pay out, dude. I

7:57

know. Well, you'll get treasure at the

7:59

very end. Yeah, that's true. You

8:02

get two doses of

8:05

Death Knight's Woe. Oh yeah? Despite

8:08

the fact that it is Undead Bane. They always

8:10

have it. Yeah, but it grows on them. It's

8:13

an alchemical process that inverts its

8:15

property. I see. You

8:18

get two doses of... Let's

8:22

say Formianite. Oh,

8:24

awesome. Formianite is so useful. Deforms

8:27

magic. Hmm. And

8:30

looting them, you

8:32

find a Jeweled Quiver of 40

8:34

arrows. Do they seem magical

8:36

at all? Yes, actually.

8:39

There seems to be quite a

8:41

lot of worksmanship put into them. Someone

8:43

would not do this if they did

8:46

not also plan on enchanting them. So

8:48

you think there's either a basic enchantment

8:50

upon the arrows, or their arrows not

8:52

bolts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can

8:54

I not use them? No, they... Yeah, that's

8:57

okay. No, you need a... They'll break in

8:59

your process, basically. But yeah, they...

9:02

Someone would not do this if they did not

9:04

plan on enchanting the ammunition. So it either has

9:06

a base level enchantment, or it is a item

9:09

that is open to being enchanted.

9:11

So someone could infuse them with

9:14

magic. Yeah, yeah. You find a

9:16

supple suit of metal armor. Oh

9:19

yeah? And an elegant folding fan.

9:21

This one is charged... The

9:24

worksmanship on this, you pull it out of a

9:27

fancy... A noble woman's pocket.

9:29

You open it up and you

9:31

immediately can tell it's humming with magical energy.

9:33

You know it's an enchanted item of some kind.

9:36

What's the suit of armor? If I unfold it,

9:38

is there like an image on it? Like,

9:40

you know, like sometimes you'd brag them out? Oh,

9:42

okay, cool. The armor is... One of the corpses

9:44

just happens to be wearing it. When you were

9:47

kneeling down next to him, you put a hand

9:49

over on his... On breastplate

9:51

and wiped across it. And

9:53

you could see that the metal underneath

9:55

is a dull green color. And it

9:57

has the sigil of a tree. growing

10:00

on it. Does that mean anything to me? No.

10:03

Okay. But the armour quite obviously, you know

10:05

this metal, it's mithril. Oh. This

10:07

is a nice suit of armour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,

10:09

uh, heyserwurst. Heys? Heys?

10:12

Yeah. You're not sure if it's tarpos

10:14

or gorobolushin, but someone grabs you by

10:17

the shoulder? Yeah. You are about to

10:19

turn around. Oh, come on, Adam.

10:23

You turn around to tell whoever

10:25

it is to fuck off or

10:27

whatever you're about to say, and

10:29

then a zombie lunges for your

10:32

cheek. Oh, come on. Come on.

10:36

That's full on snake eyes. They

10:39

got advantage and they rolled 2-1. Oh, fuck.

10:41

Thank god. Lucky boy. Oh my god.

10:44

For the second I thought it was

10:46

me doing a saving throw and I was like, I'm done? No, it's

10:48

them. Hey snake eyes, dude. Delayed

10:51

recovery. You don't add your damage bonus

10:53

to your attacks for a d4 plus

10:55

1 rounds. Oh, for a d4, for

10:57

5 rounds, they don't get

10:59

a d4 plus 1 damage. It's just

11:01

a d4 damage. Right, Adam. Oh no.

11:05

Four of the corpses are standing back

11:07

up. Fuckin' hell. Hector,

11:09

you hear Pip scream. You

11:13

look away from the wagon and you can see

11:15

Pip is surrounded on all sides. God

11:19

damn it. You're quite far away.

11:21

Like in terms of outside of combat,

11:23

the wagon isn't far away. But in

11:25

terms of getting in combat, the wagon

11:28

isn't close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be,

11:30

I think, 160 feet from him. Okay.

11:32

All right. Perfect. That's good to

11:34

hear. Cool, cool, cool. Okay. Yep, yep,

11:36

yep. What would you like to do?

11:38

Uh, well, I'll guess I will try

11:40

to get, um, 120. I

11:43

guess I'll get 30 feet closer, 60 feet

11:45

closer. Okay. And now, then I'll be, uh,

11:48

then next time you'll nearly be in range. Uh, is

11:51

it hard to move though with the... Oh

11:53

shit. No, good point. Okay. Okay. Yeah,

11:56

good stuff. Good stuff. You're fine. Okay.

11:58

Sorry for reminding. No. No,

12:00

no, it's gotta be done. Goroban Lushin's

12:02

turn. Hi, Zolos. Hi. Goroban

12:05

Lushin aren't very close, but they're close enough

12:07

to help. Okay, that's good. You

12:10

see them stand up, consider charging over

12:12

to ward you, and then silently

12:14

they come to a very quick

12:16

consensus and instead Lushin casts a

12:18

spell. That's crazy to see. That's

12:21

insane. Are they well? Lushin

12:26

blasts a chilly ray of

12:28

energy at one of the

12:30

four zombies. It is

12:32

buffeted by cold and freezes in place,

12:35

and reaching out to grab you, Pip. You're

12:38

down to three. Okay. Then

12:40

it is the zombies turn. Pip, you are

12:42

attacked three times. Oh, fucking hell. Miss.

12:46

Thank god. Fuck. Miss.

12:49

Okay, okay. Pip, you

12:51

take two points of

12:54

damage. And

12:56

you can make a dexterity or a constitution

12:58

saving throw. Let's make that dexterity, I reckon.

13:01

You pass. Oh, thank god. You

13:05

are, the zombie grabs your arm and

13:07

tries to bite down. You pull your

13:10

arm along and you have greaves on

13:12

your arms. The zombie bites down

13:14

into the greaves instead. You feel your bones,

13:16

one of your bones and your forearm move.

13:19

Compress. Yeah, compress awfully.

13:22

But you thankfully do not feel

13:24

skin peering. Oh, thank god. Oh,

13:26

thank god. It's Pirren's turn. Hi,

13:28

Zoloz. Hi. Pirren, who

13:31

was standing right next to you in this

13:33

pile, quickly draws his dagger and stabs that

13:35

zombie in the head. He hits. That

13:38

zombie falls, slumps forward. So there's two

13:40

left. Pip, it's your turn. I'll spin

13:42

around. Twenty-twang. Hit,

13:44

hit. Okay. You're

13:46

done. Let's

13:50

keep an eye on them, I say. Obviously,

13:53

you know, we can think we did a good job, but it's

13:55

so hard to tell if you've done it right. That's...

13:59

No one's fault. just a manual. Tarpos

14:02

walks over, looks down at them,

14:04

with her blood spear, stabs down

14:06

four times, no sorry eight times,

14:09

once neatly like she's gutting

14:11

a fish. She stabs

14:13

down twists, pulls upwards and comes

14:15

away neatly with the person's brain.

14:18

You don't want to know if she could do that to a living person.

14:21

And then she stabs it down into the

14:24

heart and replaces it. She does it four

14:26

times neatly and evenly replacing. There's

14:29

not even a chance of doubt. She

14:32

very easily swaps the hearts and brains. And

14:35

I guess if there were any others they'd

14:37

have risen by now. Thank

14:40

you, I say. Goddamn. Next

14:43

time, must make sure.

14:49

Of course. Everybody okay? Yup!

14:52

Give me a thumbs up. Found some mithril

14:54

armor here. What? Kick it

14:56

with my shoe. You found some mithril. I'll come

14:58

to you. Yeah you'll come to me. Yeah right.

15:00

You'll come to us. You

15:03

found a mithril armor? I guess you're the zombie

15:05

in the mithril armor on the ground. It's

15:08

pretty banged up, but at

15:12

the very least the leggings look like

15:14

they would be useful. You could see

15:16

there's the big front breastplate part, but

15:18

when you flip the zombie over, the

15:20

back part is torn open by something

15:22

that attacks this person. Who's

15:26

to say? You don't even want to know

15:28

what sort of a zombie could tear open

15:30

armor like that. Yeah, don't even think about

15:32

it. But the leggings look intact and complete.

15:35

You could, if you wanted to, don them.

15:37

Oh, right. Well that's, it'll

15:39

be pretty chilly, but... Just drag them back

15:41

to the wagon and try to set up a

15:43

familiar. Alright, I take the fan and

15:45

the jeweled arrows and I help drag the armor

15:47

back to the caravan. I'll keep

15:50

trying to light this fire. Did

15:52

I put the pants on? I'm

15:55

kidding. I want to like, make a fire.

16:00

Look at what the fans of arrows

16:02

and these yeah these armor does you

16:04

clear some space? You get

16:06

some dry wood from wherever you can

16:08

and you make a little fire nice

16:11

The armor you this is the

16:14

I guess the pants do they have the tree

16:16

on it or was it just the it's just

16:18

the breastplate It's okay when we drag it did

16:20

I see the tree. Yeah, you would have seen

16:22

it. You know what it means Oh, it's um

16:24

go on you seem to know You're

16:27

so confident I

16:30

need to very very

16:32

it is a night of the forest

16:36

Fucking probably some shit It

16:39

was that's me. Let's be honest. I

16:41

would make up for it made from mithril.

16:44

It's very strange It's more for elves

16:46

in design and oh right when when?

16:49

To do with with I think just is rude Is

16:52

a drug and rude? Rude couldn't

16:54

wear met that is what I thought as well But I

16:56

think it because it's mithril might be perhaps Perhaps

16:58

especially there was an offshoot of um Perhaps

17:01

there was a I think there was a joining of

17:03

forces of it rule within the elves It

17:06

is the armor of a knight of the

17:08

grotto guard Is he the armor of the

17:10

knight of the grotto guard which is they

17:12

worship lubricus who is the cat God? Ah? Not

17:16

at all That's

17:18

right. No, it's not to do with the luprid

17:20

a cat God because

17:22

force Yes, come back.

17:24

He got you look look closely. It's a

17:26

it's a cat climbing the tree. Yeah, all

17:28

right Sure, yeah, turn it off.

17:31

He points it out, and you can see this little cat

17:33

climbing in the tree where they fit your legs Well,

17:36

it's a human being who is where oh, that's So

17:40

that the armor there the legs seem fine. I'll put

17:43

them on next next opportunity we get Haven't

17:46

seen a toque vaccine a long time There

17:49

would have been a few at vagabond.

17:51

Yeah, yeah, and literally to let's say

17:54

You got a fact you don't need to be trapped

17:56

in Barovia much. I feel like they get out. Yeah

18:00

They just get out there. And there's like a hole in the

18:02

fucking mist somewhere that the vaccine just know how to find.

18:08

It's like straws like, ah brand new adventure. Where'd

18:10

he go? Welcome

18:13

to my left. No, no he's fine. We've got

18:15

him all here. He's just got a hole. It's

18:17

actually, in my culture we talk about this. We

18:19

have a story. This is a

18:22

little rhyming thing. He teaches you how to find the

18:24

hole. The hole? What?

18:27

Yeah, that's a hole. I'll be going, see you later.

18:29

See you later. We're hungry. Yeah,

18:35

I lay out the fan and the emerald

18:37

arrows too. Or the bejeweled arrows as well.

18:39

Sure. For people to take

18:43

a geez. Good to leave that hanging. The

18:45

quiver and arrows, no one's able to

18:47

determine exactly what magical properties they have.

18:49

But once again, it feels very basic

18:52

or low level. So it's either a

18:54

very simple enchantment or they have just

18:56

been opened to magical energies. The

18:59

fan however, Piren holds it

19:01

up perhaps and says, oh

19:03

a wind fan. Oh that

19:05

makes sense. Yes, I

19:07

know all fans are wind fans. Oh Leo. But

19:10

no, it's a specific, I know the maker, he

19:12

says tapping the crane. Once

19:16

a day I think it

19:20

can recreate the effects of a gust of

19:22

wind spell. It just creates a strong wind

19:24

basically. Good to have. But

19:28

every time it's used, there is

19:30

a chance that it breaks and

19:32

stops working. Tell you what, you

19:34

wouldn't want to get confused with your regular fan. On

19:37

a hot day, accidentally blow yourself over. There'll

19:39

be a word to write. He

19:43

should go on the handle. There's a word

19:45

that you say to activate the magical effect.

19:48

Ehh, magical effect. Just to add anyone

19:50

who wants it. Yeah, yeah. And

19:52

the quiver, I mean, you don't

19:54

use it. Oh I use both. For

19:56

a lanyel or yourself. Piren, yeah if you

19:58

want. Yes, actually. The you should main

20:01

make my. A Ranged

20:03

attacks. Interesting this

20:05

is that he'll take the Quiver

20:07

virus what what the I guess

20:09

to the leggings of the Night

20:11

of the Grotto leggings do? You

20:13

will need to take some time

20:15

it's tuning to them. Oh right

20:17

Well and next opportunity here London

20:19

Sacred Tuned to something. An hour

20:22

of Go To That Identity Storm's

20:24

going to play now up anytime

20:26

soon. Some a check your Iris

20:28

to see how out as his

20:30

season still hiding underneath the table

20:32

you could seats hugging herself and.

20:34

Severing slightly, she's not saying anything.

20:36

She seems. as I said previously,

20:38

she seems, kind of. well, not

20:40

kind of sorry. see a straight

20:42

up his disassociate and moved I

20:44

try and ah, either. A

20:48

group like a you there's a couple of something

20:50

with that that's around and I just cause light

20:52

on it isn't and mckenna business much but this

20:54

heal and a it is imbued with years. Be.

20:57

Them it a try. make up a nice

20:59

story like it's Ramzi Holy at a Jesus

21:01

penny. Is it worth more? Do a lot

21:03

but is it will protect you. Ah,

21:06

As long as you hold on to them into it. See,

21:09

Unfortunately, you're not a Tai Chi

21:11

or trust and Snows does not.

21:13

Your ability to help her right

21:15

now is limited. You're. Not

21:17

making anything worse, but you don't think

21:19

you've made anything better. And

21:22

if when you have a fire I can

21:24

take off my a that buy clothes and

21:27

whatever, wrap it around her or draper across

21:29

her shoulders. sure those kind of things which

21:31

is trying keep a warm. And.

21:33

Is kind of keeper like safe by see.

21:35

As much as I can guess it's not

21:37

like at thousand yard stare kind of isn't

21:39

really paying attention. Sen. I.

21:42

Was just return out of the

21:44

latin to the society. says.

21:47

It is A and be. Sit near the

21:49

Five Mcginn Noodle and on my fiddle. And.

21:52

been playing his discordant it's good news bad news

21:54

which was like i did that bad news as

21:57

get out of all right so much So the

21:59

goodness and the bad is the same thing. The

22:01

weather changes but not for the better. Okay.

22:05

It starts raining properly, not just

22:07

the little pitter patter it was before. It

22:10

starts raining properly, but it also, the wind

22:12

starts howling and the snow starts getting heavier.

22:15

Both, somehow, somehow,

22:18

it was inevitable. Both levels of

22:21

cloud cover have gotten worse. Hector,

22:24

not Hector, you know

22:26

this is a precursor to Razorhale. You need to get

22:28

inside? Yeah, you need to get inside. Alright, I say,

22:31

are we under like an awning of sorts out the

22:33

front of the caravan to keep the snow off? The

22:36

caravan itself would have an awning, but

22:38

that awning would have been destroyed by

22:40

the forest. We were just popping

22:42

the snow, yeah no worries. Well you could have been inside.

22:44

With the fire? No, the fire's outside. Yeah, that's

22:46

what I mean, I thought we were around the fire. But

22:48

no, I see what you mean. Okay, well you could have

22:50

been around the fire if you wanted to. Yeah, no, no,

22:52

no, well the moment the Razorhale starts I'll be like, alright

22:55

everybody, chop chop, inside.

22:57

Alright, it's cramped. It's not meant

22:59

for this many people. The

23:02

family of eight were obviously not sleeping

23:04

inside here. This was kind of just

23:06

transport. Yeah. Although, well they

23:08

would have had tents, which you could salvage

23:10

what's left of their tents and maybe set

23:13

those up if you want. Do I think

23:15

that Razorhale would break through tents? It

23:17

might if they're not reinforced, which these ones

23:20

look like they are. Okay, do I think

23:22

we'd have enough time before the rain hit?

23:25

You don't know. You're not that confident on

23:27

when it's gonna happen, you just know Razorhale's

23:29

coming. Well I, yeah, I let everyone

23:31

know. Well we've got, yeah,

23:34

if we ramage around and we find

23:36

the tents, it might be a bit crayon.

23:38

We've got time, either set it up

23:41

so it's like, you know, where

23:43

the opening is of. Oh yeah, so

23:45

we can attach the tent to the front so

23:47

we can spread out. Well we could do

23:49

that because that'll be easier to do. Actually, you know what, in

23:51

fact, I'm sure the tent is probably designed to be able to

23:53

do that. So yes, you absolutely could.

23:55

We have, yeah, we'll do it as soon as we, like,

23:58

I feel like the slrrr. The

24:00

tiniest bit of a razor boat. Go back and back, wag a stop.

24:02

We didn't get it in time. Yeah, hopefully

24:05

we did. Beautiful. Great job. Get a good

24:07

boy card. You do it. Nice. You set

24:09

up a large tent big enough for eight

24:11

people to be sleeping comfortably. So there's plenty

24:13

of room for you. Fantastic. A bunch of

24:16

the camping equipment probably has been lost. But

24:19

between your equipment and what equipment they

24:21

have, you actually have quite a comfortable

24:23

net. The tent has an incorporated flue

24:26

as part of it. So the fire

24:28

actually can still. Beautiful.

24:31

That's great. Well,

24:33

I guess we're not even though it's probably just

24:35

the middle of the day when we start setting

24:37

it up. We're just in these tents for the

24:39

rest of the day while the razor hail and

24:41

rain happens. At a certain point, the sunlight is

24:43

snuffed out. And it's as dark at 3 PM.

24:46

It is as dark as nighttime. And

24:49

you pip know what that means is

24:51

about to happen. Razor hail? Razor

24:53

rain? Or would you like to make a little comment?

24:57

I would love. Maybe I just point out, here it comes. And

24:59

then, it's lots of little impacts on the roof

25:01

above. The

25:07

wagon itself, the wooden wagon, begins

25:09

sagging a little bit. But the

25:11

tent is designed to be able

25:13

to handle razor hails. So you're safe and

25:15

sound in here. I'm just comfortable imagining. Maybe

25:18

I'm saying this is that pop of strawberry

25:20

in my mouth. I imagine they're getting a

25:22

bit sloppy at this point. I'm

25:24

just comfortable imagining all those little puppets

25:28

out there in the woods destroyed by all

25:30

of this razor hail. Would

25:34

we all be so lucky? Like

25:37

a bit of water or whatever, those strawberries

25:39

mushing them up, trying to make a tea.

25:42

Yeah, less strawberry tea slash

25:44

jam. Anyway, Piran has

25:46

a knife in one hand and a sharpener

25:49

in the other hand that he's procured from

25:51

the wagon. What part of the rat would you

25:53

like? I'm

25:56

good with the strawberries. I'll see.

26:00

good to have a protein. Give

26:02

me a drumstick. Yeah, turn a

26:04

little bit of rat for everyone.

26:06

I'll take the horn. Let's put

26:08

a little bit of some of

26:11

the spices that I got to

26:13

try and make it palatable. Nice,

26:15

delicious, slow cooked rat ribs. I

26:19

mean anything's good, you know. Yes.

26:22

And anytime I'll keep checking on Iris to

26:24

see if they have either hopefully

26:26

like calming down or if they're

26:30

flinching from like the thing, just try and make

26:32

them as at ease as humanly

26:35

possible. You should just supply them

26:37

with some food. Just put a plate next to

26:39

them. They'll eat when they're ready. I'd make

26:42

like a terrible plate of

26:44

rat meat and strawberries. Sure. So

26:47

if a little bit of rat meat and a little

26:49

bit of strawberries, it at a certain point in the

26:51

night is eaten. Maybe like

26:53

hopefully by her. Yeah. Just because this

26:56

is one of the few times we've

26:58

had that's like true downtime in such

27:00

a long time. I'll just try and

27:02

make polite conversation with Pirrods. All right.

27:04

You knew Hector?

27:07

We had interacted

27:09

previously where we

27:12

didn't know each other, but we were on

27:14

opposite sides of a war. That's right. Before

27:17

falling into Barovia, we met

27:19

once had a little darly-ance.

27:22

Not a darly-ance, that implies wrong thing.

27:24

We had a more of a

27:26

caper I suppose together. And this

27:30

related to... When

27:34

you first arrived in Barovia,

27:36

you said something about Sir Grace?

27:41

You know of Sir Grace, right? Yes. He killed

27:44

those people in the fight with the

27:46

necro-isit. But I must admit, Hector, when

27:48

you first brought it up, I

27:50

sort of thought you would get eaten by a

27:52

wolf within the

27:55

next couple of hours. I didn't listen well,

27:58

perhaps as much as I should have. And

28:00

it's just not really been a time to bring. What

28:02

so? I was asked

28:05

by the head of my church.

28:07

Right. It was a joint operation.

28:10

Penia. Yes, Penia. No, I'm

28:12

sorry. I was asked by my order, it

28:14

was a joint operation to

28:16

work with the Knights of the

28:18

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28:20

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29:51

All right. And I was paired with Sir

29:53

Grace and his adoptive

29:55

daughter. She was there as a

29:58

frog. Is that the kind of thing? that I

30:00

would have heard of with my minimal knowledge

30:02

of Sir Grace. You know about Sir Grace,

30:04

you definitely don't know about him. Those stories

30:06

were suppressed. You do not

30:09

know about D-Fing. His adoptive daughter, um,

30:12

Diefling actually. Oh right.

30:14

Diefling's Diefling. Stupid name. I'd say.

30:17

Yes. Not in times you're all.

30:19

Agreed. Yeah. So

30:21

many people. I wasn't, I'm not entirely, I thought she

30:23

was there as perhaps like a squire or something, but

30:26

Sir Grace did not seem to really want

30:28

her around. Okay. In law.

30:32

Anyway. Is she a Diefling? Yeah, she's a Diefling.

30:35

Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. Um,

30:38

I thought Diefling, it's a start but no, no, no,

30:40

Sir Grace was very quick to correct me. Right.

30:44

And was like, no, no, no, he's a Diefling. I have heard

30:46

that he's a bit of a cut. I

30:49

don't know where you would have heard that from because

30:52

that is definitely not the tales told about Sir Grace.

30:54

I mean, it's true. Yeah.

30:57

So are there, would it be the kind of thing where

30:59

there are these tales told about Sir Grace as a great

31:02

hero, but there are some people who are like, I've actually

31:04

worked with him. It wasn't as awesome as

31:06

people said. There might be, yeah. There might be some people who

31:08

are like, sure. People who have picked it up. Yeah, you know,

31:10

actually, like I thought it would have been great, but yeah, I

31:12

was, you know,

31:14

it's, you know, the phrase never meet your heroes. Yeah.

31:17

Yeah. So Grace really, um, is the epitome

31:19

of that. Um, a true bastard, uh, through and through. Sir

31:22

Grace the boss doesn't want to go with. Sir

31:24

Grace true boss. Yeah. It

31:27

wasn't that he wouldn't do, you know,

31:29

what we needed is just more, they're way bouncier.

31:32

Right. I think looking

31:35

at Pip. So he's

31:37

become corrupt. He's taking bribes. So,

31:39

so, sorry. Um, so

31:41

what happened is, uh, so we found

31:43

a helm, but the helm was obsessed

31:45

by something. Right. By

31:48

another, whatever it did, it possessed like a

31:50

beholder. It is. So,

31:52

um, it, we, we managed

31:54

to, um, free a helm and

31:56

it, it, it, it got control of myself

31:58

and, and, uh, and

32:01

so Grace, I was able to

32:03

draw on Penny's light and I

32:06

could only save one of

32:08

them and I chose his daughter.

32:14

I don't know if he'd turned

32:16

yet or not, but look, he gave

32:18

me. Like

32:20

I'd done the wrong thing. I'd

32:23

say nothing. I'd just like have a look

32:26

like, boy, boy. So

32:29

then we went

32:31

back and last I

32:34

heard saw Sir Grace,

32:36

I think he's become possessed

32:39

by whatever was that a hound did.

32:43

I promised to Stephenie that I'll do

32:45

everything I can in my power to

32:47

try and help. He'll

32:50

Sir Grace. Break free

32:52

him from the corruption. Right. Right.

32:55

Yes, he's not the most nice of people,

32:58

but he's still a nice, he's still

33:00

a very great knight. He's a very

33:02

great- Ciaran gives you a little bit of a

33:04

shrug and says, he kills a lot

33:06

of people. Okay. The

33:08

right people? Yes. Well,

33:16

once again, I fought on the other side. I

33:18

know it. But

33:20

yes, you would have heard of his- Oh, yeah, I've

33:23

heard of the exploits of Sir Grace. For sure. He's

33:26

a monkey dick. Well,

33:29

um- Ciaran shuttered. In my last

33:31

I saw a monkey- Fought

33:34

very directly opposite him. Last

33:36

I saw a monkey dick, he got his neck

33:38

snapped. Oh, that's a shame. Quite

33:41

liked the monkey dick stories. A

33:45

lot of bloodshed. Yeah. And

33:47

then, yes, we

33:50

spoke to- we spoke

33:52

to- to Rahelm and he, I guess,

33:54

put us on this. He

33:56

was going to monkey dick. wife

34:00

to acquire I guess gold

34:02

because we need to do something.

34:06

I'm sorry, I don't understand. Is he in

34:09

charge of something or is he just

34:11

a possessed knight? We fought

34:13

a bunch of possessed knights already, Hector. To

34:15

be honest, I do not know. From

34:18

what I can gather, yes,

34:21

he's leading them in a

34:23

way. To him, it's like a silver

34:25

moon. Why not still like a silver

34:27

moon? He's semi-famous. I

34:30

think you don't know much about him. You know

34:32

him probably by name mostly.

34:34

You might know an elf and

34:37

kind of like a personality opposite

34:39

to Anki Dick, but his

34:42

stories were never as interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:44

Anki Dick's ones were... He was a

34:47

great tactician. Oh, right. Yeah,

34:50

sounds about right. The opposite of... Anki

34:52

Dick. I like that everyone's

34:54

calling him Anki Dick. His name's

34:56

Richard Ware. A

35:00

very powerful, intelligent

35:02

and smart general.

35:05

To have him on the position

35:07

would be, yes, he knows that

35:09

his leader is possessed. Yeah, I

35:12

managed to... Before I was

35:14

trapped in Barovia, I was travelling across all

35:17

of Kandor to try to drum up some interest,

35:19

but my order is

35:22

already predisposed with other things and I

35:25

am one knight. Yeah, I

35:27

wait. I'm not even really a senior

35:29

knight. I was going to say, you are

35:31

a bit young to

35:33

be leading a

35:35

revolution. Yeah, we've gotten correspondence

35:37

from Sir Grace. All

35:41

is well in Fairbourn

35:43

Point. So he knows you're coming for him? I don't

35:46

know if he... No, he knows that I

35:48

am... No, he knows I'm coming for

35:50

him. Lucky you're here. That's

35:53

a joke. It's obviously incredibly unlucky any

35:56

of us. Yes,

36:00

it is a... I

36:04

went to somebody for help and I

36:06

got her killed. Oh! Lady...

36:09

Lady Iderman. I don't

36:11

know if you know... I looked at Peron. Yes,

36:14

Lady Iderman in charge of North Hallow.

36:18

Yes, so... Ahhh...

36:20

She's dead? They killed her

36:22

and... Interesting.

36:26

Well, they framed

36:28

me for it. Wow!

36:30

I see. So, as

36:33

you can imagine, trying to drum up support.

36:35

Yeah, difficult. You're a wanted man. Going

36:37

to be even harder. It was actually a

36:39

long ago. And I... Well...

36:43

That makes a lot of sense. Time

36:46

works differently in Barovia, I've heard. So

36:48

maybe... Yes, I feel like...

36:50

Peron, you were... Peron

36:54

came to Barovia basically moments after

36:57

the two of you stopped seeing

36:59

each other. I

37:01

feel like Peron in on a bit more

37:03

of the minutia of the politics of what's

37:05

happening. That I'm aware of. Sure. And

37:08

it... Yeah. Right. Going

37:11

up against... It seems... Again,

37:13

I don't know the extent anyone that we've

37:15

sent into Fairburn can't hear

37:17

from. Yes, Fairburn Point was always a bit of

37:19

a tough nut to crack. There wasn't a lot

37:21

of... Back when

37:24

I was working for King Goldcrest,

37:26

there wasn't a lot of purpose

37:29

to taking Fairburn Point, other than

37:31

disrupting supply lines and whatnot. And

37:33

a lot of people... Well, we

37:36

always kind of... Well, for the longest time we

37:38

assumed that there was a

37:40

very well-placed counter

37:43

spy network. A lot of people that we sent over

37:45

just disappeared. Yes.

37:48

Whatever it was, was

37:51

taking over Segrès.

37:54

It felt ancient.

37:57

It's always been there. And perhaps it

37:59

always has. So things

38:01

have always been a bit tense with Fairbairn, but

38:04

we just never knew the extent

38:07

to... Sun Sen apparently

38:10

was wiped off the map. What

38:13

happened to Sun Sen? We

38:16

don't know. Sun Sen wiped

38:18

off the map? Doesn't exist anymore,

38:20

yes. We don't know. That's very

38:22

vague. Yes, we just came

38:24

across the refugees. We didn't even

38:26

get a chance to... Some sort of magical explosion.

38:28

And that's what happened. But

38:31

that was... You know, a city

38:33

that big, vanishing, and

38:36

Fairbairn never reached out the candle. Information

38:39

is dark there. Yeah, well... So, I was...

38:43

Currently I had access to my

38:46

old room, he says, back in

38:48

Goldcrest. The king knew

38:50

some things apparently. Oh really? Yes,

38:53

well, King Goldcrest loved

38:56

playing people off each other. They're

38:59

allowing one other person to amass enough power

39:01

or whatnot. So anyway, we, after

39:04

we found out independently that

39:07

whatever fuckled shit is going on in

39:10

Fairbairn Point is going on. From

39:13

reactions that I got from King Goldcrest,

39:15

kind of came to the conclusion that

39:17

he understood a little bit of what

39:19

was happening. That would

39:21

have been, I guess, useful to know. Oh

39:24

yes! Oh yes! That's

39:27

just for you. I lost

39:29

a lot of people there. Yeah, yeah.

39:32

Right. So... Well, no, that...

39:35

I mean, yeah. So, yes, Tiffany was

39:38

charged with finding the

39:41

monetary support and I was trying to find an army. I

39:43

came here and... I look around the tent. And

39:46

yeah, I came here and Madam Iver said

39:48

I would find generals. Oh! But,

39:51

yeah. Well, they're

39:54

not so bad. Like maybe

39:56

push your garb and lushing a little punch in

39:58

the shoulder. That's Corbin Lushan

40:01

half asleep You

40:04

realize your mistake immediately. Oh no Go

40:11

back to bed. Okay go back to bed. It's

40:13

not something somehow works thank

40:16

God because Because

40:19

of what is happening in Fairbairn because it

40:21

is so under wraps to be fair spy

40:23

master. Yes a bad guess What

40:26

do you bring to the table? I'm not

40:28

part of the destiny I say No card for

40:31

me. Yeah, well So nothing

40:35

Good example of what not to do may

40:38

be someday lead a bunch of druids Getting

40:41

hostile in the tent. So if

40:43

you started it See

40:45

it in back home asking

40:48

anyone from Kandor to pick up

40:50

arms against Fairbairn point is Little

40:53

akin to asking for a

40:55

plea for a civil war Anyway

40:57

in crossing the line to Goldcrest

40:59

is well inviting

41:02

war as it is another state And

41:04

then I came I guess close as

41:07

I came was a guest at

41:10

post Had

41:14

to convert to their

41:17

Religion which before I could

41:19

even say no I had a

41:21

blinding migraine. All right four days Yeah,

41:24

if you know what if you know what you're doing you

41:26

can trick them Fairan

41:29

reaches into his shirt and

41:31

produces a holy symbol Perhaps

41:36

I could trick them but I've been baptized three times

41:40

Perhaps like yes, I could have tricked them, but I

41:42

don't think I could have tricked what was in here

41:45

Oh, yeah, the gods get mad when you do that. Oh,

41:47

yeah. Oh Yes,

41:50

she did It was probably

41:52

the closest I got any further I could have gone to the

41:55

gnomes in Zemjata But once again, it is

41:57

this problem of you're declaring war on Kandor

42:00

You don't want help from the gnome- Well,

42:22

might be useful. It's

42:24

not. Good drink

42:26

it. Turns out, if you operate a

42:28

frat house, maybe. So,

42:32

being a Knight of the Cloth gives

42:35

me some leeway in certain

42:37

areas, but going up against

42:39

a principality of candle and an

42:41

ally. Yeah, it is an

42:44

uphill battle. And

42:46

now you're trapped here, I say. Yes. It's

42:49

a real stinko. On

42:54

that topic, though, I had

42:56

been thinking about it, and I've come up with

42:58

a short list of potential allies in the region.

43:00

But I did have a question. Pip,

43:04

what's your current relationship with the Sharpshot

43:07

Companion? Just because

43:09

I know they have an office in the region.

43:12

We haven't spoken in a while.

43:16

That good, huh? Piren takes

43:18

out a little notebook and a pencil, and you

43:20

see he scribbles something in it. More

43:23

of the same. Yeah, more of the same.

43:26

I'm not good at making

43:28

friends. Well, so,

43:31

Provi didn't really change you, huh? Fuck!

43:36

Dude, get a good boycott. That's

43:38

great. I

43:41

suppose not. Even

43:43

he's getting dinged off you now, and he wasn't there

43:45

for the betrayal. Right.

43:48

Well, I wish I'd never brought this up.

43:52

What happened with them? Another

43:56

time, perhaps, I sip my strawberry tea.

44:00

save that for another time. Check

44:02

first watch or... I'll take first watch, I say. I'll

44:04

go outside. Okay. He's

44:06

stepping onto the hayser. Razor hail?

44:10

Destroy. One piece of

44:12

razor hail goes straight through your head,

44:14

into your neck, into your chest, out

44:16

your gooch. Dead. Split

44:18

in half. Perfect. That's exactly how

44:20

you want it to go. Whoa! This

44:24

can't go well. Oh, come on.

44:28

Okay. What's up, dude? What terrible

44:30

things have happened, Adam? Yeah.

44:32

Pip, it takes you a while. It takes you too

44:34

long. Oh, no. I'm pissed. You're

44:37

thinking of other shit. The

44:40

tent, this massive tent, has a vestibule

44:42

area, so you can be sitting in that,

44:45

there's cover over you, and you can just look

44:47

out into the wet. The

44:49

snow, while it is currently snowing,

44:52

it is mostly dissipated on

44:54

the floor. There's, what's happening is, the

44:56

snow hits the ground, the water, sorry,

44:58

the snow and ice hits the ground,

45:00

water and hail packs it in, and

45:02

it becomes a layer of ice over

45:05

everything. So you can see a

45:07

thin, clear layer

45:10

of ice covering everything, making travel of

45:12

any sort has this, probably for the best

45:14

that you'd stop going down. Yeah. Going

45:17

uphill in this. You wouldn't. You

45:19

just couldn't do it. Is a recipe for, at best, a

45:21

twisted ankle? Yeah. You

45:24

hear, once again, way, way, way,

45:26

way, way, way too late, screaming.

45:28

Oh, no. What

45:33

kind of screaming? It sounds

45:35

like the wailing of masses of

45:37

people. Oh, no. Can

45:40

I identify that as anything

45:42

just like from that? Um,

45:44

bogman? Bogman? Does it

45:46

sound like a, oh yeah, is it like a bogman

45:49

scream? Does it sound like a? No, does it

45:51

sound like a whale? It sounds like people in pain

45:53

and agony. Can I see any lies? Once

45:55

you've started listening out for it, you

45:58

realize you've been hearing it for a

46:00

while. while. It was dull a little

46:02

bit over the rain, but then also

46:04

you were somewhere else entirely. Those two

46:07

things combined, meaning that it's actually quite

46:09

loud now, and you realised you should

46:11

have heard this a long

46:13

time ago. Oh, I

46:15

know what that is. I'd like to

46:18

bang on the canvas of the tent

46:20

and get people outside. Everyone.

46:22

No, just like whoever's awake, just to

46:24

let them hear the screaming. Oh, okay.

46:27

So wait, are you trying to rustle

46:29

up everyone or just the awake people?

46:31

Well, do I think that

46:33

the Mundo Defender, because I can hear it's screams, it's

46:35

coming for us or the scream's getting louder? They are

46:38

getting louder, you don't know if it's coming for you.

46:40

Well, yeah, it probably would be worthwhile having everybody up

46:42

and about actually. So I'll get everybody, I'll rouse everybody.

46:44

Okay. Maybe I stick my head

46:46

like... What the devil is happening?! Put my hand

46:48

on his face. Mundo Defender, I say. It's

46:53

like a wheat defender, but way

46:55

worse. Imagine

46:57

a gigantic scarecrow full of screams.

47:00

I know this creature, says

47:03

Tarpos. But it's coming, you

47:05

can hear it. Those screams, that's

47:07

the Mundo Defender. Couple of things. Don't

47:11

you ever think about using lightning damage

47:13

to attack this? You electrocute this thing,

47:15

it'll get supercharged and we'll all be

47:17

in trouble. Tarpos. Can

47:20

you summon a crow? Tarpos

47:23

can make a crow. Make a crow. Okay.

47:26

Second question. And

47:29

I don't think that anybody's going to... Has

47:31

anybody's weapon never touched blood? Anybody

47:35

got a brand new sword that they've been

47:37

hiding, brand new dagger? Piren

47:39

pats himself down. I

47:42

use the spear on the... does it need

47:45

to be alive blood? No, I got the

47:47

hag. It has been known that a bladed

47:49

weapon which has never seen blood or known

47:51

blood or ever worked with blood in the

47:54

past would make a sufficient weapon and over-cometh

47:56

any defenses that a Mundo Defender should have

47:58

to defend itself with defense. I mean, I

48:00

could, I can dismiss the

48:03

pack weapon that I have and then resummon it. Would

48:13

that work? It doesn't feel

48:15

like it would work. It

48:17

feels like you're getting the same weapon back. Otherwise

48:21

we're talking immunities too. Poison,

48:24

cold, necrotic, lightning, thunder and psychic damage

48:26

and everything else is only going to

48:28

hurt it a little bit. Not radiant?

48:31

No, it doesn't mention radiance. Regular magic weapons

48:33

is fine? Yes, regular magic weapons is fine,

48:35

but it's not going to do much. Not

48:39

anywhere near as much as a weapon that's never

48:41

touched known blood or worked with blood in the

48:43

past. Your

48:45

bolts, your bolts have no

48:47

touch, but you crossbow has.

48:50

So yeah, unfortunately, I

48:52

wish we could get it on a technicality. How

48:54

does this magic work? What

48:57

about a sharpened stick? If

48:59

the sharpened stick never touched blood before, you'd be

49:01

in the money. If

49:03

you can make a weapon right now,

49:05

again, look around like the wagon. Is

49:08

there anything I could just like? There's a bunch

49:11

of cutlery knives. Like is it

49:13

bits of wood that we can just quickly sharpen? You

49:17

rustle up a sharp stick. A

49:21

sharp stick? Letting you know,

49:23

I will probably count this, or I think

49:25

it's fair enough to count this. If you're

49:27

using it as a weapon, I think it's

49:29

fair enough that it should count. It's a

49:31

weapon that has never tasted blood before. However,

49:34

the rules for improvised weapons mean

49:36

you will be attacking with disadvantage.

49:38

Yeah. Look,

49:40

it'll work, but I mean it is

49:43

still just a pointy stick. Piran

49:45

interjects. Did

49:48

you say that magical weapons

49:50

are also good? Yes. Well,

49:53

Hector, is your weapon magical? Yes. Did

49:56

you want to give him a stick? Well,

49:58

I have the arrows now. God

50:00

of the Loshan's sword is magical.

50:03

How did you know? And Tarpos's

50:05

spear is magical. And,

50:09

oh well, Pia Poi, I'll just suffer, it's

50:11

fine. Well, it's just good to know you're

50:13

here for moral support. Pip,

50:17

here's the stick. Oh, thank you. Thank

50:20

you very much. Only

50:24

warning everybody about the mondo to found out.

50:27

And it was very useful that you

50:29

did. Shut up. Anything

50:32

else? Yes. The

50:36

skates getting louder. Oh,

50:38

yeah. The

50:40

noises it's making, it's not doing it right

50:43

now, but they can instill a kind of

50:45

fear response in you. So be wary of

50:47

that and don't let them grab you as

50:49

well because they're gravelly. Is

50:51

there anything around like, is there like cottony things

50:53

that I can plug my ears? Sure,

50:56

I'm sure you could find some bedding

50:58

or something like that and plug your ears

51:00

with that. I tear some up and hand

51:03

it around. Yeah, alright. Everyone plugs their ears.

51:05

I guess before, keep talking and then you'll

51:07

finish with plugs. Alright. Anything

51:10

else? No, nothing else.

51:12

Well, it'll go for the crow. The

51:15

crow that Tarpos is summoning, it's going to

51:17

focus its fire on there. Tarpos

51:20

realizes left the tent. Yeah,

51:22

it's Tarpos. Okay.

51:25

Not what I asked. I think Tarpos

51:27

is going to transform into a crow. So Tarpos

51:29

is going to be suffering most of

51:32

the fire. I just poked my head out. Is

51:35

Tarpos there? You see Tarpos in the

51:37

tree line. What are you doing? Towards the whales

51:39

or the... Well, it's hard to tell exactly where

51:41

the whales is. It's because you're on a mountainside,

51:43

it echoes. They haven't turned into

51:46

a crow yet. Well, maybe they aren't. You could

51:48

see they're climbing a tree. They're

51:50

climbing a tree. Well, maybe they are just going to summon

51:52

a crow. We've got no

51:54

way of knowing, and it's not worth it to run over there

51:56

and ask. Hi, Zalos. Hi. The

51:59

screams are getting louder. getting louder and louder but

52:01

they're still not here. Tarpos

52:04

climbs back down and you see they're

52:06

cradling something in their hands. Tarpos shielding

52:08

the thing from the rain comes

52:10

back into the tent and you see they're holding

52:12

a crow. She's got it. Ah! Ah!

52:15

So the mondo-defendo is going to focus its

52:17

attack on the crow. They'll always go for

52:19

a crow before us. Tarpos has a brief

52:21

like, oh. If

52:23

the crow's quick enough, you know, it

52:25

should be fine. They're just, do we want to,

52:27

Tarpos whisked something to the crow? Will

52:30

it chase the crow? Yes. The

52:32

crow flies down the mountain. Will it

52:34

chase the crow? Otherwise it would be

52:36

wise to have a crow or similar

52:38

but not different bird-handy as the mondo-defendo

52:40

will still target them before known others.

52:43

So will it just chase the crow

52:45

down? It should. I've never fought

52:47

a mondo-defendo before. I've just heard about it.

52:49

We don't do anything and bunker

52:51

down and be quiet while the

52:53

crow leads it down the mountain?

52:56

We could give it a try, I say, but be

52:58

ready for it to not work. Crow

53:02

distraction. Crow start

53:04

fly, raise a hail, kill

53:06

pretty quick. Right, I don't

53:08

have to raise a hail. I guess

53:10

raise a hail isn't doing anything for you. Do we have to- Highs

53:13

the loes? Highs. Oh. Yep.

53:16

You hear something that stops your

53:18

heart. A sliver of ice

53:20

runs down your back. Oh

53:24

no. Echoo. Is

53:28

that thunder? Oh yeah. Is

53:30

that lightning? How tall is it? Very, very frightening.

53:33

How tall is it? It's gigantic.

53:36

It's huge. So it's probably the

53:38

tallest thing if- Echoo.

53:42

I like- Look, it's lightning

53:44

close. Oh

53:48

God, that's the sound of a comic. What

53:51

if we make it not

53:53

the tallest thing in the forest? What

53:56

if we fell it like a priest? You

53:59

Don't know it yet. That you're in initiative.

54:01

Oh My. God. This is a

54:03

so bad. This. Is at

54:06

the end of a manual. They did not think we

54:08

would be at north bit as. Strong.

54:13

As super doesn't for the mundo

54:15

defender. I

54:17

guess. Third, techno you know you're gonna get

54:19

a search before you encounter this. ah what

54:21

I'm think it is dark. Like.

54:24

If you're counting away mules

54:26

encounter know yet down and

54:28

service manuals right or it's

54:31

everyone needs to make a

54:33

ah no wisdom saving for

54:35

the screaming becomes very intense

54:38

as the bedding help. While.

54:40

You were still talking. Us

54:43

He's rise. Ah

54:46

you give a plus five

54:48

which is fox so that

54:51

was a see you pass.

54:54

You. Also pass. Gonna

54:57

Blossom Pass pass pass

55:00

passes Purina. know what

55:02

happens with the same.

55:05

They. Becomes the Us and unable

55:07

to move and imperfect the

55:09

grabbing vocation for the mondo

55:12

defend of. Pure. And

55:14

you see, Two lines

55:16

up here, a strike throughs

55:18

on pure and eyes Some

55:20

magical effect has consumed him.

55:23

He. Stops. Moving God

55:25

of God And heck it's

55:27

your turn. On ah

55:29

can I? what up those? Ah,

55:31

I'm busy teaches at what a

55:33

lot of the ward off I

55:35

was. Ah just what opposite of

55:37

what out all of us and

55:40

I was up there. bits of

55:42

bedding and ah quickly put them

55:44

in tooth. Parents use hearings in

55:46

him. Okay, this might be too

55:48

late. ah

55:51

yeah i mean you can i'm like

55:53

is daisy with is how late july

55:55

a boat as away due to myself

55:57

assess ah did have it says there

56:00

needs magical healing or for the scarecrow to

56:02

be reduced to zero hit points. Those are

56:04

the only two ways to fix them. I

56:06

need to ask. Magical healing or kill the

56:09

big scarecrow? Eh, it's gonna suck for him.

56:12

Put only like a hand

56:14

on him and cure wounds

56:16

level two. The

56:18

gross kind. Nasty

56:21

cure wounds. Piren

56:23

recovers 14 hit points and

56:26

doesn't seem too bothered by where it came from. Eh,

56:29

I guess so. That was good for him. That

56:31

was your action, Hector. What else would you like

56:33

to do? Can I look outside without stepping into

56:36

razor hail? You see two legs. There,

56:40

it's, you see a,

56:43

it's not really properly pants, it's

56:45

more like sheet cloth, like sails

56:47

from a boat that have been

56:50

fashioned into pants. There

56:52

are two giant appendages

56:56

made out of

56:58

straw and corpses

57:00

sprouting from out under those

57:02

two legs. You look

57:04

slowly up and the

57:07

vestibule eventually cuts off around

57:09

the creatures, I would

57:12

say maybe like their

57:15

midsection. Okay, I just,

57:18

I mutter. Oh,

57:21

oh, Eileen. Which

57:23

will be a curse. And I

57:25

hexblade curse him. Hell yeah. Okay.

57:28

And then I will, I guess, just

57:31

grab my spear and shield and

57:33

ready myself for what will inevitably

57:36

happen. I'm gonna squat

57:38

down and make a concoction. I'm

57:40

gonna combine a haggai for accuracy.

57:43

Yep. I'm gonna get some treant

57:45

poison for plantsbane and

57:48

a for me and I

57:50

to deform magic. And I'm gonna try

57:52

and make something I can stick my arrows

57:54

in that when it embeds in the plant

57:56

parts of the mondo defender, it starts to

57:59

disrupt the magic. magic that keeps

58:01

it like animate. It's like being

58:03

made of sticks and moss and

58:05

shit. So you successfully get five

58:08

doses for your weapon. Your

58:11

next five attacks will deal extra

58:13

damage as it deforms and warps

58:15

the magic and kills the… it's

58:18

already dead but decays at

58:20

the straw of this creature. Sweet.

58:23

That's your action. You've got a bonus action and

58:25

movement. Umm… maybe

58:27

it's a bonus action, I'll just hunt his market. Why

58:30

not? It's a bonus action. So you move

58:32

into the Vestibule so you can see it? Yeah, I guess so. Alright. Gotta

58:35

put the… Yeah, and oh wait,

58:38

is putting the cotton in my ears an action? I

58:40

would mark that as an interaction. Alright,

58:43

so I'll do that too. Yeah, okay.

58:45

As you move out into the Vestibule,

58:47

you produce from in your

58:49

backpack a… or maybe at your belt

58:52

or whatever, you produce a little powdery… a

58:54

little pouch, sorry, of garlic

58:56

powder, of crushed

58:59

up, wound up beetle parts, and

59:03

like flowers. You throw

59:06

that at the creature. It's also

59:09

covered in tar. The thing hits

59:11

the mondo… the mondo defender,

59:14

the greater scarecrow, explodes open,

59:16

creating a very vibrant and

59:18

easy to see target for

59:20

you to fire at. Tarpos

59:23

runs out into the Razor Hail, taking

59:25

one point of damage. Well,

59:28

sorry, two points of damage, one point of bludgeoning, one point

59:30

of cold. Goddammit. Wait,

59:33

she feels cold now? She takes

59:35

cold damage. Yeah, she just doesn't get

59:37

chilly. Yeah, it's not the same thing.

59:39

It's like, oh you don't mind the

59:41

hot weather. You're standing

59:44

on the sun now. I thought you were

59:46

like, she called Babish because it's cold. You

59:48

told people not to do lightning, right? Yeah.

59:51

Oh yeah. You just

59:53

prevented… cos Tarpos is like, lightning spells strong now.

59:55

No, no, no, no, no, no. Tarpos

59:57

charges in with her speed. with

1:00:00

the blood spear and attacks with

1:00:02

that. That's a

1:00:04

hit. And Piran from

1:00:07

the vestibule fires with

1:00:10

his shortbow. It's a

1:00:13

big Piran.

1:00:17

The arrow embeds itself in

1:00:19

the greater scarecrow, but it doesn't look like

1:00:21

it. It looks like a lolling corpse bagging

1:00:24

out of the creature that isn't actually

1:00:26

properly like the equivalent the magical equivalent

1:00:28

of a toenail or something like that.

1:00:30

He strikes that and you can see

1:00:32

it's done no damage. Then

1:00:35

it is Corb and Lushan

1:00:37

get into the vestibule.

1:00:39

They look at you Pip and they

1:00:41

say, can we charge? I think

1:00:45

so. They charge.

1:00:49

Taking one point of cold and one

1:00:51

point of bludgeoning and

1:00:53

then they're going to attack twice. Great. First

1:00:56

attack, the myth. Make it back.

1:00:59

Critical hit. Alright. It's happening. Okay,

1:01:02

okay, okay. Okey dokey. Sweets

1:01:04

the legs. Maximum damage in

1:01:07

the target must make a DC-16 dexterity

1:01:09

saving throw and a failed save.

1:01:11

The target is prone. Oh my

1:01:13

god. Timber. That's great. That means

1:01:15

when the lightning hits, hopefully

1:01:18

it'll go for the trees and not

1:01:20

the mondo defender. Oh, you

1:01:22

know what? Actually, instead of that,

1:01:24

half a compliment sandwich. Yeah. Jackson,

1:01:26

Xamen, both of you addressed impeccably

1:01:28

today. Oh, thank you so much.

1:01:30

You both have incredible outfits. I

1:01:33

love the look that you have today. Adam. It's

1:01:35

not a critical hit. Adam.

1:01:39

It's the light. I guess. He

1:01:42

nearly fell over. And then plot armor.

1:01:46

Player rolls damage twice and takes lower. Adam.

1:01:52

A dirtbag. The mondo defender,

1:01:54

the greater scarecrow leans down

1:01:57

so that you can see

1:01:59

in the vestibule its face and

1:02:01

then You

1:02:04

hear the screams of the dam It

1:02:09

is obviously it's not like a plaid

1:02:11

shirt Yeah, fucking jeans the clothes are

1:02:14

just made out of whatever fabric was

1:02:16

bigger more of like a wicker man

1:02:18

vibe Rather than a cecra vibe and

1:02:20

vibe. Yeah, it's a lot of straw

1:02:23

But there's also sticks twigs like

1:02:25

a tree it looks like mixed

1:02:27

in there But there is corpses

1:02:30

throughout the entire creature like they

1:02:32

were just another building material It

1:02:34

looks like a giant bird's nest

1:02:36

has been stuffed into canvas clothing

1:02:39

Oh my god, and then it

1:02:41

attacks. Oh good. Oh awesome. We're

1:02:43

all together The

1:02:46

crow though the famous crow Well,

1:02:54

sorry we Interesting Identity

1:03:02

arity Site

1:03:05

Navigation F

1:03:08

Hay Hi!

1:03:21

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