0:00

K forty.

0:00

Y'all, that's

0:03

a sound bite.

0:04

That's a sound bite that.

0:05

Sounds like an announcement. I'm sure they know by now. If

0:08

y'all have been following my Instagram, you know,

0:10

baby, I love it here in

0:12

the forty forty club. Happy

0:14

to be here.

0:16

Dead ass, dead ass.

0:17

Didn't think I would, but I do. Hey.

0:21

I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured and we're

0:23

the Ellis's.

0:25

You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

0:27

Voice and reading each other publicly

0:30

as a form of therapy.

0:31

Wait, I make you need therapy most days.

0:34

Wow.

0:35

Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

0:37

Yes, sir, we are. We created this

0:39

podcast to open dialogue about some of

0:41

li's most taboo topics.

0:43

Things most folks don't want

0:45

to talk about.

0:46

Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead

0:48

ass is a term that we say every day. So

0:50

when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts

0:53

one hundred the truth, the whole truth,

0:56

and nothing but the truth. We about to take philosof

0:58

to our whole new level.

1:02

Dead ass starts right now.

1:06

Storytime, story time?

1:07

Are you going to tell the story time? On my fortye?

1:09

I got mad stories. Well, not about

1:12

your fortieth day, but your fortieth year.

1:14

Yeah, because you had a year for the ages.

1:17

Let's just use story time to just go over

1:19

everything that happened for you and your forties.

1:22

You mean leading up to forty, because it was technically still

1:24

thirty nine.

1:25

Leading up to forty, this thirty ninth year,

1:27

because this is your fortieth year.

1:29

Forty year, and continue with the same

1:31

energy, just letting

1:33

you know that now.

1:34

God, may I tell you, I

1:37

don't know how you can can continue with this energy?

1:40

Go ahead.

1:40

Number one, You

1:42

traveled out of the country every

1:46

month since May.

1:49

And the only reason why no since April because in April

1:51

I was in Canada. And the only reason why we didn't

1:53

go in January, februy March is because we

1:55

were on tour with the book and with the

1:57

podcast You Travel. You've traveled to a different

1:59

country every month. You saw Beyonce

2:02

five times.

2:04

Why do you squint when you say it like that, like you

2:06

feel some kind of way that I saw.

2:07

I don't feel. Listen. I'm I'm

2:10

an honorary Beehive member, honorary,

2:13

but I can't imagine seeing somebody

2:16

perform five times one calendar

2:19

year.

2:19

It was a show, y'all. If you didn't go, sorry.

2:24

You went and saw Drake, you

2:26

saw LLL, you saw

2:29

an Usher. In

2:32

the last month, you went to Turks and Kkos,

2:35

you went to Jamaica.

2:36

Yep.

2:39

The reason why I'm bringing all this other stuff up because

2:41

it's my fortieth year. So

2:44

when all of you people will be like, Caden, does

2:46

irve have

2:49

that same energy? Because now I'm turning forty, y'all

2:51

better be in these comments asking Kadeen, what

2:54

are you doing for Daval for his fortieth.

2:56

Baby, I can't wait. All you got to do is

2:58

say the word. The only thing that's whole to me back

3:00

it is potential gigs that you may be booking. But

3:03

baby, had you had a clear schedule, we'd

3:05

be somewhere every month.

3:07

We'd be going to see Beyonce every month for

3:09

your birthday. That's that's what would happened.

3:11

You missed like the highlight of the year, though,

3:13

to kick everything off prior

3:16

to the.

3:16

Travels, what was the highlight of the year.

3:18

The highlight was us together becoming

3:21

New York Times best selling authors. Oh,

3:23

yes, you're having an amazing sold out

3:25

tour in multiple cities. Yes, I

3:27

feel like that first quarter of the year was like

3:30

epic and it really just set the tone

3:32

for what that last year in my thirties

3:35

was going to look like.

3:36

That is very true. You had a very eventful and

3:39

monumentous yes, end

3:41

of the thirties.

3:41

And very auspicious for.

3:44

My Jamaicans and auspicious well. No,

3:46

in all seriousness are congratulations

3:48

to you. Also seizing

3:51

the moment because we talked about this last week. Yes,

3:53

not waiting for there to be one moment for

3:55

your birthday, but taking the opportunity every

3:58

day leading up to your forty if

4:00

the biggest thing for me for you

4:02

and your forties is that you took

4:04

very good care of yourself

4:07

and made it a paramount

4:10

choice to eat better, live

4:12

better, and be better. Yes,

4:15

and that wasn't just for forty, that was just for the future.

4:17

But you change your diet, you change

4:19

the way you work out, you change your sleeping habits,

4:22

like you really did a lot of things

4:24

differently, and today I want

4:26

to discuss the purpose behind that and what do

4:28

you think you've gained by making all those changes in

4:30

the past year. I love that before

4:33

we get into all of that, we have

4:35

karaoke. Karaoke time, and since

4:37

this episode is dedicated to you, I'm

4:40

going to let you go ahead and

4:42

do your karaoke thing.

4:44

In retrospect, I should feel like I should have

4:46

done Beyonce song right coming.

4:47

Out of.

4:51

But I know, I know you're beyond. I'm sure a lot of

4:53

people are. But I was just like it kind of made sense.

4:55

But since we're in a new year, I'm actually go start with a throwback.

4:58

This is this meme going around or is like a video

5:00

that says it's like point of view. I'm

5:03

that friend that when you get in the car, you're always

5:05

gonna hear old music. I'm

5:07

not listening to anything that's recent or new.

5:10

You're always gonna probably get some sort

5:12

of like random nineties to two thousand, R

5:14

and B. So so, in thinking

5:16

of forty and me and who I

5:18

am as a woman here now, who

5:21

I plan to continue to evolve

5:23

into, it came down to none

5:25

other than the late the Great Whitney

5:28

Houston A everyone,

5:32

It's all in me.

5:35

Anything leg.

5:43

I can cat suspect.

5:44

That reminds me you can go ahead.

5:47

Go ahead, go ahead

5:49

inside of you anytime

5:51

you feel.

5:59

That reminds me of my God. Saturday

6:01

Mornings she ill will wake

6:04

up. It be like eight thirty. My mother up. I smell

6:06

of pine sol in the wind decks. She get

6:09

up. You gotta clean everybody, Get up, trauma

6:11

and get up. I'm like, gosh, why child?

6:14

It was either Whitney Houston or it was Babyface

6:16

and Tony Braxton. Yeah, on Saturday

6:19

morning it was yes.

6:22

Kiss Yeah.

6:24

All right, y'all, let's take a quick break. We're gonna get

6:26

back into meat to the show, which is me

6:28

talking about turning forty, reflecting on my

6:31

last year and what I'm looking forward

6:33

to. I'll share a little bit with y'all.

6:35

Stay tuned, all

6:39

right, So we're back, and my girl

6:42

Trouble came up with some facts

6:44

and stats. I'm gonna ask you these facts and stats,

6:46

and you tell me if these facts and stats are true.

6:48

Okay.

6:49

Number one, According to research, women

6:51

at forty tend to feel more self

6:53

confident and sure of themselves. Is

6:55

this true or false?

6:59

True? Like I

7:02

at forty, I didn't

7:04

feel the way I expected to feel because

7:06

it's just the thing that you hear

7:08

about or you experience, so you just kind

7:10

of dread

7:12

about the idea of getting older. But

7:15

I'm actually embracing it, and

7:17

I'm also looking at forty being not

7:19

what forty was for our parents generation

7:22

or generations prior. In

7:25

my forties now, I definitely just

7:27

feel like I'm settled into who

7:29

I am and who I'm supposed to be, And of course I'm still

7:31

willing to learn and grow and change as I

7:34

evolve in my forties. But

7:37

so many women I've spoken to, they say

7:39

the forties, this particular decade

7:41

is like the best year of

7:43

their lives for so many reasons.

7:45

So I'm excited.

7:48

Yeah, when I think about the forties, I think about so

7:50

many people, women who I've looked up to

7:52

an entertainment. Forty is when they kind

7:54

of had that breakthrough where they

7:56

became exactly who

7:58

they are that you look at Raj, you

8:01

look at Regina Hall

8:03

and Regina King, both

8:06

of their careers really exploded. They've always been

8:08

consistently working in their twenties and thirties, but

8:10

when they got to their forties then it was just like wow,

8:12

like they out of here.

8:14

If there's a power in being unapologetically

8:17

who you want to be, right, not being

8:20

who you think you should be or

8:22

being who you should be for other people, just

8:24

really genuinely sitting in that

8:27

space of I like

8:29

who I am, I like where I am, I like where

8:31

I'm going, and also reflecting

8:34

on the years prior, because for

8:36

so long I have always been the person

8:38

that looked at all the things that I haven't accomplished

8:40

yet. Right. There was one of our

8:42

podcast live shows where someone asked,

8:45

you know, like, so what's next, view Kaden, like,

8:48

what's some big things that you're going to do? And I'm just kind

8:50

of like, wow. I was

8:52

always thinking about all the things that I hadn't done

8:54

yet. But I

8:57

can actually sit back now and say, man, look

8:59

at how much I have done and

9:02

I have accomplished, and that

9:05

in turn only lights a fire under me to want to do

9:07

more and to be greater. And as my children get

9:10

older, I think that's

9:12

like a barometer for me because now my children really

9:14

are looking at me as a as

9:16

a mom, as a woman, as a wife,

9:19

Like knowing that they're looking at me probably with a

9:21

different lens as they get older, their

9:23

appreciation for me as a mother,

9:26

my interactions with them as a mother, the

9:29

quality time that I spend with them, that

9:31

is also very very important to me, And I

9:33

feel like that's something that's been highlighted for me in this past

9:36

year. And then you and I you

9:38

know, you've known me since other

9:41

than the fact that we went to elementary school together, you've

9:43

known me since I was what eighteen, just

9:45

about eighteen? Yeah, and you've

9:48

always pushed me to be more and to do

9:51

more, and to be the best

9:53

that I can be and follow my dreams and dream

9:55

bigger. And I'm looking at

9:57

you as well, wanting to make you proud of

9:59

the wor women that I am becoming.

10:02

So yeah, forties for me, I just feel

10:04

very very confident and sure of

10:07

what I'll look like for the rest of my life.

10:10

Well, you've only been forty for

10:12

about

10:15

thirty nine days,

10:19

thirty nine down to the day, Yes, you

10:21

know, December fifth and today recording

10:23

right now, and it is January

10:25

fifteenth. Yeah, so you forty

10:28

days? About forty days, well, thirtays,

10:30

thirty one in December forty one days.

10:32

It's forty and forty one days.

10:35

So you've been mathematics.

10:36

You've been forty for forty one days. Have

10:39

some questions for you? Yeah, okay,

10:41

well trouble it's

10:43

going to help me with these questions. But most

10:45

of the conversation around women turning forty tends

10:48

to be around pre menopause, wag gain

10:50

and increase the beatle like that part,

10:52

What are some things you want to hear more about

10:54

from women over forty? And the reason why I ask

10:56

is because we do have a platform

11:00

where people are growing with us. Yes, you

11:02

know, people who are listening may not be forty now,

11:05

but if they listen and continue to listen, they're going to remember

11:07

this time and say, well, I remember when Kadeen was turning forty.

11:09

This is what she said she wants to

11:11

hear or what she's interested in seeing or learning about

11:13

turning forty. What were some things that you

11:15

were just like, I'm tired of hearing about

11:18

this and I want to hear more of that.

11:22

What I do want to hear more about is just health

11:25

and wellness. I think that's why I've been so adamant

11:28

about looking into what

11:30

I've been consuming my body

11:32

composition. That's why on the

11:35

prior season that we had here, we went I went to

11:37

the holistic doctor to get some blood work done to just

11:39

see what I can do now

11:41

to prevent any future

11:44

issues. When it comes to health and wellness

11:46

and trying to break myself or rid myself

11:49

of the things that quote unquote run in

11:51

the family, my mom being the

11:53

prime example of that. You know, she's

11:56

about twenty six

11:58

years my senior. So for looking

12:00

at her and some of the things that she was dealing with health wise,

12:03

I'm now it's causing me to take an

12:05

introspective look at myself to say, Man, are there

12:07

certain things that I can either eliminate from

12:09

my diet or implement into my lifestyle

12:12

that will make me potentially

12:15

avoid those things but also give me a

12:18

new lease on life?

12:19

You know, do

12:22

you have any regrets? It's forty

12:24

years of passing your life. Is there anything in the past

12:26

forty years you feel like there, I didn't do this, or

12:29

I wish I didn't do that.

12:31

Is there anything in your life at forty looking back now

12:33

that you like, if I could have done

12:35

this differently, I would have.

12:38

I know we've spoken several times about if we

12:41

had met later in life, or if

12:43

we weren't so serious so early, I

12:46

would have liked to see what my career

12:48

as like a journalist might have panned out to be.

12:51

I don't think it's a regret per se, because it kind of inadvertently

12:54

pushed me into this space that I'm in now. So

12:56

I'm still able to speak and use my personality,

12:58

and it's actually a little bit more tale to like

13:00

what I really want wanted to begin with,

13:02

Like I didn't want to be a talking head,

13:04

news reporter, anchor, but more so somebody

13:07

that was in the entertainment feeling industry and stuff.

13:10

I probably would have had my kids closer together

13:13

and sooner to.

13:14

Get that out of the way.

13:15

Yeah, because we had that five year gap between Jackson

13:18

and Kiro and Kaz and then we have COVID again.

13:20

So all I keep thinking is like, Damn, by the time

13:23

Dakota's like graduating college,

13:25

I'm gonna be Damn, i'mnna

13:27

be well, I'm gonna be up there, think right, because

13:29

the Colda's two, I'm forty

13:32

six from from college. From college,

13:34

like twenty.

13:34

One, twenty years, Yeah, graduate

13:37

from and.

13:38

By the time he has children, I'm like, damn, I'm not gonna be around

13:40

for his kids.

13:40

Like he'd be sixty when you you talking,

13:43

Like if you if Coda graduated

13:46

in twenty years, he'd be You'll be

13:48

sixty. You'd still be younger than your

13:50

parents who are here helping us now, So

13:53

yes, you'll be here. I'll be fine.

13:55

My boys and my family so much and I want to be around

13:57

to do the things for them that I want to do, like my

14:00

be Like how my mom is from?

14:01

How old is your dad?

14:02

My dad's seventy one?

14:03

How old is your mom sixty six? How old is grandma

14:06

eighty six? How old was Grandma

14:08

Joseph when she passed?

14:10

She passed eighty two?

14:11

Maybe?

14:11

So realistically, the

14:14

women in your life have lived

14:16

to be eighty, right, I

14:19

mean you still have a whole nother

14:21

forty years of life left. True,

14:24

So you have to start thinking like the

14:26

end is near and start thinking like dang, like I'm

14:29

not even at the midway point now,

14:31

considering the fact that you are taking

14:34

more advantage of the knowledge you have,

14:37

being less stressed, eating better things

14:39

that your grandparents and the women in your family

14:41

couldn't do. Right, But now you have those advantages,

14:43

so you can It's fair to say, you know what, if all

14:46

else is equal, I can

14:48

live to eighty plus plus

14:51

ten years for sure, so that gives you ninety

14:54

plus So that means you have almost sixty

14:56

more years of life left, right, right?

14:58

Oh, Yeah, what would you like to.

14:59

See in those next sixty

15:02

years.

15:03

I'm looking at the evolution of

15:05

just myself as a business woman, you

15:08

know, first and forest is always going to be you and the boys

15:10

and my family, of course, but continuing

15:12

to see how I'm going to contribute to building this legacy

15:15

that we have for our boys. So what's next

15:17

from business standpoints? You

15:19

and I continuing to build an empire

15:22

together where we can then sit back and kind

15:24

of just enjoy some time and some

15:26

space together. So that way, I'm not going to be

15:28

in a different country every month without you, right

15:30

with different groups of people.

15:32

But I was jealous. I was jealous,

15:35

Yeah, because you got a bikini. You know what I'm saying.

15:39

I got selfies every day. Every day. One

15:41

thing I tell you and Kay go to go away. In

15:43

the morning, when I wake up, I'm gonna give

15:45

me some nice selfies I can't show y'all.

15:48

And throughout the days, you're gonna take some pictures in them before

15:50

you go to sleep. I get some even nicer selfies

15:52

and I can never show y'all.

15:54

Bro.

15:54

So you that even though I was jealous you being

15:56

away, I would like to be.

15:58

But I want to take you along. I want us to see the world.

16:00

I want to show our boys the world. I

16:02

want to watch them grow. Yeah, I

16:04

want to travel more. I want to take our boys

16:06

and experiences. For me, it's going to be about

16:09

having moments like how we started the

16:11

season talking about not waiting until

16:13

the new year or the beginning of the month, the beginning

16:16

of the week to do things. I really want

16:18

to just be in those moments and

16:20

it may force me to pull back a little bit when

16:23

it comes to sharing in social media, and I'm

16:25

okay with that. Those are some things

16:27

that I really want to just be connected in as

16:29

I move into my forties. One

16:32

thing that you mentioned here was the

16:34

increased librito weight gain imperiment

16:36

appause with stuff. I went to my obgin

16:38

for my checkup, my annual check up again,

16:41

top of the year thing. I used to do it at the top of the year

16:43

because it's easy to remember, like oh, new year check

16:45

up, and then seeing

16:47

her, she told me that I have to go for a mammogram

16:49

at forty. So that's one of the

16:51

things that women, if you don't know you

16:54

look forward to having to do that is I'm

16:56

going for the first mammogram some women go earlier

16:58

depending on their family history. If you had

17:01

you know, breast cancer or any kind of cancer in

17:03

your family history, you have to go

17:05

earlier. But seeing it so I don't have

17:07

that now, I'm going to have to schedule an appointment

17:09

for that. Not looking forward to it because I haven't

17:11

heard the best stories about mammograms, but some

17:15

people to say like it's uncomfortable. You know, you're pretty

17:17

much in a machine that was gonna squeeze your breast tissue

17:19

like to a pancake. I don't know if

17:22

that's true or not, but you

17:24

know, based off self exams and my obgu

17:26

I am doing exams with me, everything

17:29

seems to be good. But I mean, it's one of those

17:31

things that's preventive, right, so you just go every

17:33

year or every two years or as needed

17:36

to get that checked up on.

17:37

Its true that they're going to smash

17:39

your breast in the mammogram, And

17:42

what makes it even worse is that when

17:44

they're doing the mammogram, they're taking the

17:46

picture, they're smashing your titty and you

17:48

have to hold your breath. Oh

17:51

wow, they're doing it, So it's like the most

17:53

awkward thing in the world.

17:56

Super awkward, So you smash my titty into

17:58

a pancake and I have to hold my breast multaneously

18:00

when normally, when things like this happen, the

18:02

only way you can deal with it is breathing.

18:04

Bathing.

18:05

So I'm it's giving like niggas

18:07

be passing out.

18:08

Well, I mean you only you only

18:11

pass out if you're not aware, So

18:13

you shall practice. So when we leave the

18:15

room, you're gonna hold your breath. I'm gonna squeze your titties. Now

18:19

when if you're about to pass out, I'm gonna let go and

18:21

tell you, yo, yo, you almost

18:23

passed out. So let's let's practice

18:25

this more often, you.

18:26

Know, and I can tell my my I had a man,

18:29

My graham, my man, my man,

18:31

My grammed me and all's

18:33

well on the home front. Also

18:36

increase higher libido. I've spoken

18:38

about finally you having the visect to

18:40

me me getting off of birth control. Women

18:42

say that the libido spikes in the forties.

18:44

I'm not sure what that is. If it's just the changes in hormones,

18:47

being perimenopausal, all that stuff, I

18:51

think it's pretty.

18:53

That.

18:54

Yeah, it is premenopause when you

18:56

start basically having menopausal

18:58

symptoms, but that menopause is

19:01

defined as having not had a menstrual cycle

19:03

in twelve months for twelve months,

19:06

and perimenopause it can be intermittent.

19:09

Oh so you may have a

19:11

period like one month and then maybe like it'll

19:13

disappear for a little bit, and then.

19:15

You still have your period, but you start

19:17

having more hormonal changes.

19:19

Yeah, man, more hormonal changes

19:22

in the forties.

19:22

I'm dealing with hormonal changes since you

19:24

was a teenager. But eighteen to twenty

19:27

was hormonal changes pregnancy, all of

19:29

your thirties hormonal changes. Now the forties,

19:31

I gotta deal with more hormonal changes. Augies.

19:34

Imagine us having to or me having to

19:36

actually deal with them in my body. It's

19:39

a lot of hormonal changes. You need to support hold

19:41

my hand.

19:42

I need to support, oh my hand

19:44

because now it's gonna be I gotta understand this too,

19:46

because you're going to do so once

19:49

again, gentlemen, we're gonna have to understand.

19:51

Well I will, We're gonna have to understand

19:53

now in my forties, I want to expect you to always

19:55

understand. But what I will do is overly

19:58

communicate how I'm feel and

20:01

the things that I want and need when you can also express

20:03

to me the things that you want and need, so we can get through

20:05

this together. I had her together.

20:08

You should get a prize because.

20:10

Think about after perimenopause is

20:13

actual menopause. Then I

20:15

gotta go through that with you.

20:18

Just take me on a trip. I think it'll be fine.

20:20

Look, that solves everything. She was on

20:22

trips all last year.

20:23

I ain't solving anything on a trip, and I think

20:26

I'll be fine. I think I'll be fine. Yeah,

20:29

are always going to be the answer. But

20:32

yeah, also, so we talked about that weight gain. I've,

20:34

like I said, been super super sensitive

20:36

about the things that I'm eating, the things that I'm consuming.

20:39

You and I are barely recognizable when

20:41

it comes to what we're eating now, Like

20:45

I couldn't believe it, and I didn't think that you would be there

20:47

with me. But I appreciate that we can do that

20:49

together.

20:49

Yeah, you're gonna do it. I'm gonna do it so that it's

20:52

easier. It's worse than changing your diet,

20:54

but then watching the person that's your partner still

20:56

eating the way you was eating, because

20:58

then it's like smells good, Let

21:00

me just get a little piece. Oh, let's just do it

21:02

together.

21:03

It's like the whole household has has

21:05

changed. So I love that for us. And

21:07

then that way I can just embrace the body that I have in

21:09

age gracefully. You know, people still gonna

21:12

tell me my buddy button looks funny or that's

21:15

the rumor.

21:16

But it's the same belly button since

21:18

I met her when she was eighteen. It's the same

21:21

belly buttony.

21:22

Don't even try to continue

21:24

to explain it. One thing I'm not gonna do in my forties,

21:26

y'all is argue with anybody and go back

21:28

and forth in comments about my fucking

21:30

belly button. It's the belly button

21:33

I was born with. So for all of the

21:35

tummy tuck rumors and oh the belly

21:37

button look man made and it looks funny, my

21:39

stomach's gonna look funny because I had four kids.

21:42

Like, I don't know anybody who's had four children

21:44

whose stomach just looks completely normal,

21:46

like they're in their twenties, hey, man, Like,

21:48

it's just not a thing. So between

21:51

that and having the diastasius recti and

21:53

having the protrusion, one minute, people

21:56

think I'm pregnant again. The next minute people think

21:58

I had a tummy tuck. Y'all pick pick us. But

22:00

what I'm not gonna do is go back and forth with nobody about

22:02

my damn belly button. Period. I

22:04

just maybe that's forty.

22:05

I've never looked at a picture and

22:08

focused on a belly button. I've never done it.

22:10

I don't know what it is, bro, I don't

22:12

know what.

22:13

And it's literally other women just

22:15

picking women apart, and they be.

22:17

Wrong and strong man, loud

22:19

and proud. I'll

22:21

be seeing some of the comments. I know that's a fake belly

22:24

button. I can tell because my cousin got the same.

22:26

The stomach looked like this. You know how, I

22:29

think no stomachs look the same.

22:33

I gotta say this, say this, and look at the

22:35

camera. That is her belly

22:37

button, Bro, I don't

22:40

care how that is her belly button.

22:43

Okay, Kadeen did not get a tummy

22:45

tuck. Trust me, if Kadeen

22:47

would have got a tummy talk, she still wouldn't have

22:49

the little protrusion from the this Saty's wrecked

22:51

eigh. We know this because she

22:54

thought about it.

22:54

I did.

22:55

She thought. She literally said, Babe,

22:57

after four kids, do you think it should be good to have

23:00

a tummy Tuck and we talked about it. I was

23:02

just like, I don't know, because then you're gonna be out of commission,

23:04

and I think you can just work through it. Me being

23:07

an exercise person, I was like, Yo, if

23:09

we do what we gotta do together in the gym,

23:11

been doing and we've been doing, I feel like

23:13

you can get back. And last year, that's another

23:15

thing we forgot. Last year, you walked in Fashion Week,

23:18

which is something that you that was huge

23:20

for you and you will. You're thirty nine going into forty,

23:23

and a large part

23:25

of us changing was because we wanted

23:27

you to be at the best version of yourself walking

23:30

on that point at that stage, and

23:32

you achieved that, like you were out here and

23:34

when it was hot, because the Fast Show was in September.

23:37

Jackson started football in July and August.

23:40

Me and Jackson every week, twice

23:42

a week, we'll go to that field and we will be running.

23:44

It'd be one hundred and fifteen degrees out there. I

23:47

got the harness, I got all this other stuff. I'm pulling

23:49

k back she running, So I know it would

23:51

be annoying to you to do all of that shit

23:53

only for people to go out there and be like, noa like her stomach

23:56

of belly button fake? Nah, fuck y'all. A belly

23:58

button our fake because if it was, we

24:00

wouldn't have been out there with that damn heat

24:03

running on the freaking field.

24:04

That's the fact. Would have skipped all that.

24:06

Seriously though, Like seriously, now.

24:08

If you'll tell me my arms look a little fat, that is true

24:11

because I do neglect my upper body. And I've

24:13

been saying that's one of my goals this year. I've been telling

24:15

upper body WORKOUTSK.

24:17

We'll go into the gym and squat

24:19

and lunge and deadlifts and life

24:22

depends on it. And I'd be like, what you do for body?

24:24

Oh, I did some ball twist, but

24:28

that's not an upper body workout.

24:30

No. Upper body is just so boring to me. So I'm gonna challenge

24:32

myself this year and do more upper body because I

24:35

don't want to have them like arms, you know what I'm saying.

24:37

And I do see some size in my arms, so I

24:39

mean you you do.

24:39

See some size, but that ain't But you know

24:41

what sexy though? What that a nice chisel

24:44

back a woman

24:46

that's lately big with like them

24:48

thighs and them glose and and everything

24:50

in her back.

24:53

And the low back dresses and stuff like that. That's

24:56

what I'm gonna work challenge myself for. Like, by the

24:58

time the summer comes, I'm gonna do more upper

25:00

body and back stuff because that made

25:02

my challenge. Like I got pretty much all my weight, like

25:04

you know, the strength back in my legs, my core

25:06

is getting that much better. So Yeah'm

25:09

gonna I'm gonna work on that, y'all. I'm gonna work on that. And

25:11

any day I do do a BBL

25:13

or tummy tuck, just know I'm gonna get my hip dips

25:15

filled.

25:15

That's how you're not gettel.

25:17

How you'll know my body

25:19

done is if I got my If I get

25:21

hips all of a sudden, I know, because.

25:23

You're here looking like a wisdom tooth, I

25:26

know there will be no hip hops feeling look

25:28

like a wisdom tooth. Here's my thing. I have

25:30

no problems with plastic surgery. A woman get

25:32

plastic surgery or for whatever, good. But my

25:34

thing is you gotta look like a human

25:36

still. Yes, you can't walk around

25:38

looking like a wisdom tooth. It's just

25:41

not attractive. Hips wider than your

25:43

shoulders. Right, I'm

25:45

not for the hip dips. I'm not for the hip dips. Now

25:48

a woman give her dedicate

25:50

her life to having kids, stretch marks,

25:52

calm, things fall because of gravity. You can't

25:56

I get it. I get it. And it's and men

25:58

can't be judging women how their bodies changed.

26:01

We never have that kids, and.

26:02

Women shouldn't be judging it. We already know

26:04

the struggles. I know we shouldn't be, but we should

26:06

know the struggle that we deal with, whether it's a little bit of

26:08

weight gain just because, or

26:10

if it's weight gain from children, or you

26:13

know, saggy skin and stretch

26:15

marks and all that. Thankfully genetic genetically,

26:18

I think I lucked out because my mom has

26:20

not one stretch mark from three kids. Her

26:22

skin is like, yeah, my grandmother's skin

26:24

is like but so thankfully I didn't

26:26

end up too bad with the stretch mark department. I have some of my

26:28

thighs and my but.

26:29

I've never once looked at a stretch mark. Yeah,

26:33

I've never not once. You've had stretch marks since

26:35

you were nineteen, You've had your

26:38

booty, your hips. You're right here. You always say, I've

26:40

never once looked at the trench marks and be like, oh, I

26:42

can't.

26:42

Even and shout

26:44

out to my mom and my aunts and my grandma because

26:46

we all got booties on that side.

26:48

So yes, that's another thing to Cale

26:51

did not get her butt done now. I will

26:53

say this though, I will say this the

26:55

top of the year. Last year, when we started

26:57

working, kve been doing squats

26:59

like religiously, and when I mean squats

27:03

heavyweight because this is the first time after I

27:05

had to resect me. Kate was like, Yo, I'm not having no more

27:07

kids. Let's get into get in this body

27:09

right. We've been doing heavyweight squats,

27:11

goblet squats, sumo squats, body

27:14

weight squats, single leg squats, hungarian

27:16

squats, r DLS, hydrants,

27:20

RDL's Romanian dead list, we do straight leg deadlist,

27:22

we do hydrants. You got yeah,

27:25

everything everything. So your legs

27:27

look completely different.

27:28

Than still not even where I want them

27:30

to be at. My legs still got a little fat that

27:32

I'm trying to I'm trying to get a knee cat. I

27:34

never had a knee cap in my life, so that's another goal of mine,

27:36

to get a lean cat.

27:37

I'm gonna be honest, I ain't never wanted you to have a

27:39

a cat I'm fine.

27:41

You see how use women pick ourselves apart, even in our

27:43

forties. We still do. We still do. It's just

27:45

what happens.

27:46

But yeah, you just pick yourself apart.

27:48

I do. I do.

27:49

And I'm here to tell you to chill out.

27:50

Thank you, chill out? Hey, if you like it? I

27:53

love it?

27:53

Oh, I love it. Can't you tell we got full boys

27:56

here? Because I love it so much? Oh my

27:58

gosh, I got I got one

28:00

more question for you. Okay, have

28:04

you already experienced any physical or

28:06

mental changes since turning

28:08

forty forty one days ago?

28:12

Physical changes, I will say

28:14

overall, I have a lot more

28:17

energy, but it could also just be the

28:19

change that I've made in like my diet and

28:22

the way I eat and stuff like that, and also prioritize

28:24

and sleep like I'm no longer subscribing to Team

28:26

No Sleep. Give me my pillow, give

28:28

me my bed, I'm going to sleep. I'm taking this snap.

28:31

I'm going to do that. So other

28:33

than that, nothing super physically. Mentally,

28:35

I just feel like I'm in a good place. I

28:38

just feel like I'm in a good place. And how It's like, how

28:40

can I not be? God has blessed

28:42

me? Immensely. He's shown me all the favor

28:44

in my life. Yeah, you know, I have you by my

28:47

side every day. On days that I

28:49

feel like I don't want to, you know, I might

28:51

being a little rut er. I'm trying to figure out what's next.

28:53

Like You're just like, babe, go do it. I got

28:55

you. You've always found ways

28:57

to make sure that my life was that much easier

29:00

so I can just do the things that I really want

29:02

to do for myself and for my

29:05

family. I

29:07

love you for that. So I have to say, even

29:09

though I turned forty and it was

29:11

a huge milestone in my life, you

29:15

asked me what I wanted to do when you thought maybe I wanted

29:17

to have a huge birthday party with a ton of people,

29:19

because historically that's how we've done things.

29:21

You know, all the kids' first birthday parties were at least

29:23

two hundred people. They were huge, and

29:25

I'm like, no, in this season of life, I just

29:28

want my core people.

29:31

I want time with you. So you

29:33

took me to Vegas. We had a nice little weekend or

29:35

a couple of days, you know, to see usher. I

29:38

wanted to be with my boys, my parents,

29:40

you know, my brother and my sister and my family was like,

29:42

Yo, we want to celebrate you. Let's go to

29:45

Jamaica. My girls were like, hey, we want to

29:47

take you away to Turks. Like it was really nice

29:49

to be in those moments, to be loved on in

29:51

that way. You know, day to day you see people,

29:54

family, friends, and you enjoy

29:56

their space, you say hello, you touch base.

29:58

But it's different when people purposefully

30:00

come together to celebrate you

30:03

in all of your favorite things, and it makes you feel

30:05

that much more seen, that

30:07

much more appreciated. So shout out to you,

30:10

to my family, to my core

30:13

group of girlfriends that took me away and

30:16

really just loved on me. Like the end

30:18

of twenty twenty three for me and

30:22

the end of my thirties was like,

30:24

I wish that everybody can go out that way. We'll

30:28

not go out there.

30:30

I'll make turn the forties seem like you just transition

30:32

to afterlight. I would be everybody can go out

30:34

the way I would. I would have My friends was

30:36

around me, my family, they held it down.

30:39

You know, I appreciate them last days.

30:41

Sending me off into my forties. I

30:43

forgot that that was the right way to say it.

30:45

But you know what, I mean I got to go out like that,

30:47

you know, it was a lot, you know, and then.

30:49

My thirties with the bank, and now I'm looking

30:51

forward to celebrating you, sir. So we're

30:53

going to talk about what you're looking forward to in another

30:55

podcast going into Hopefully.

30:57

I get a chance to go out like you went out. You

31:00

know, we can have everybody come

31:02

together and mourn the

31:05

last thirty nine years because

31:07

that was.

31:09

YO.

31:09

Listening to y'all talk about forty, I'm to tell

31:11

you now, I ain't looking at forty like that. It's gonna

31:13

be a motherfucker party.

31:15

It is exciting, though, I'm super excited,

31:19

But I say that to say there's people who do feel like

31:21

forty is like the end, and I just want you to know

31:23

that it's not. It's literally the beginning.

31:25

It's the idea of getting older, especially as women,

31:28

you think things are going to fall apart, gravity is going to be

31:30

against you, like, there's so many things that you're thinking

31:32

about. But I am looking

31:34

forward to doing all the things with

31:36

you by my side and my boys and

31:38

our family.

31:39

So that's what's up. That's what's up.

31:41

Nah.

31:41

I appreciate you, baby.

31:42

You Yah. I appreciate you.

31:44

You You are exactly where I

31:47

thought you were going to be at forty

31:49

really accomplished fine, a

31:51

mother, thank you, fine,

31:54

uh intelligent, fine,

31:58

taken care of fine. This

32:00

is where I thought you were going to be a forty fine, and

32:03

I think you're going to be there at fifty and

32:05

sixty and seventy. And I

32:08

just I'm not Age means

32:10

nothing to me, the same way I don't care that much about the New

32:12

Year, right, I don't care about a number. I just

32:14

know where we are. And it's just like, let's enjoy, embrace

32:17

alet of this song.

32:17

Let's do it together. Baby. I'm excited, I'm

32:19

excited about you, and I just like, in a sense

32:22

aging backwards, right, just kind of leaving our

32:24

worries and troubles behind and just like enjoying

32:27

it, enjoying it the positivity

32:29

around aging. So I

32:32

love that for us.

32:33

Let's all take a quick break while

32:35

we unpacked. You know, everything

32:37

that happened in the last thirty nine

32:40

years that we had to let Kate go and

32:42

come back, and we're gonna unpack that while

32:45

we pay some ads. You know, it was rough

32:47

first thirty nine. We went out,

32:50

we went out though we went out like a check like.

32:54

Chick around, y'all, we'll be back.

33:06

All right, So we're back. I've

33:08

been taking a quick break back. We

33:12

are discussing turning forty m

33:15

and since I'm still thirty nine,

33:18

I don't think I'm worthy of reading the first list

33:20

of the letter. I'll let you. I'll let you read the first

33:22

listen to letters. Is you put all these years into

33:24

life?

33:25

Listen mad years and mad

33:27

days above you? So let me go

33:29

first. Thank you, Hey,

33:31

Kadeina devoured. First off, I want to start by saying how

33:33

much I love watching you and the boys.

33:36

We have a lot of the same opinions on

33:38

life and being despite me being only

33:40

twenty four. I know to y'all

33:42

I'm a baby, Yes you are. But

33:44

I'm married and I've been for almost six years.

33:47

That's what's up.

33:47

Oh wow, six years eighteen Okay,

33:50

very similar. You guys have inspired

33:52

me in more ways than you can think. And recently

33:54

I think I found evidence of my husband cheating,

33:56

Lord cheating come stains

33:59

on the bottom of his shirt, and

34:02

when I brought it to his attention, he denied and

34:04

reassured me that there was nothing going on. I

34:07

know I'm not stupid, and I know I

34:10

know what quickiecumstains look like. Okay,

34:14

might I add this has been going on

34:16

for about three months now, on and off, once

34:19

or twice a week or so. Every

34:21

week. He never has a

34:23

good excuse as to what it

34:25

is. It's always I don't know. I

34:27

had a borderline panic attack because I have two small

34:30

children twenty one months and four

34:32

months a while.

34:33

It's like super back to back, and.

34:35

Even though I don't believe in staying in relationships for children,

34:37

making relationship decisions with children

34:40

is hard. Nonetheless, there

34:42

has been infidelity on his part in the past,

34:45

and even though it's been years since

34:47

I've had suspicion, a bunch of things are running

34:49

through my mind as to why this

34:51

would be going on again. It's

34:53

hard to believe that he would actually do something like this

34:55

and break our family. Plus, I

34:58

believe cheating is so childish. Single

35:00

or at least communicate that you're not happy

35:03

and are interested in seeing other people because

35:06

we've been together so long. For me, I

35:08

would have to leave mentally before I leave

35:10

physically. So my question is, do

35:12

you guys have any advice on choosing yourself

35:14

and learning your worth after an infidelity

35:16

crisis so that you can move on. Oh,

35:21

man, I hate to hear stuff like this man,

35:24

but they're so young. I wonder if he's probably on the

35:26

same age eighteen married.

35:31

Like she should have sent

35:33

in pictures that have come stains so

35:35

that we can either confirm or deny if they really

35:37

come stays. No, I'm

35:40

just being honest because women,

35:43

particularly pregnant women, tend

35:46

to overreact and think things

35:48

that are not happening. They're going through emotions, right,

35:51

Okay, they're going through stuff. What if my

35:53

man ain't cheating to.

35:55

How we do you explain the stings?

35:57

That's what I'm saying. How do we know what's a comestain?

36:00

So what you think he's just eating his sandwich sloppy

36:02

lys.

36:02

No, I'm not saying that it's not a comstain. I'm

36:04

just saying, how do I give you advice on what you say

36:06

is a comstain? I don't know if it's

36:08

a commestand I would want to see it so I could be like, oh, that's

36:10

a comstay a nigga cheating, or be like,

36:13

sweetheart, that's not a cumstain. Like where you're talking about.

36:15

You sound kind of crazy. I don't know how to give for advice

36:17

because I don't have enough information based

36:20

on what she's saying. She says she's seen comstains,

36:22

he's denying it.

36:23

Okay, so sis send

36:25

us photos of it. No

36:28

seriously though, I think because there is a

36:30

history of cheating, maybe she feels like this

36:32

is something that has done in the past, and

36:34

maybe she's having suspicions about it. I know what

36:36

it's like when you have two small children back to

36:38

back. Had we've had those issues, well,

36:41

issues meaning like the stress that comes

36:43

with being pregnant back to back. Absolutely, so if she has

36:45

a twenty one month old and a four

36:47

months old, means that she's not sleeping,

36:50

her body's probably out of commission. You've

36:52

been pre natal and postpartum at the same time.

36:54

Your hormones are all over the place,

36:57

your libido is at an all time low. There's

36:59

so many things, So I would want to know what your life

37:01

is looking like sexually between you and your husband. Are y'all

37:03

having regular sex? Is that

37:06

potentially an issue? Why he may be looking

37:08

for it elsewhere?

37:09

You know?

37:09

What's communication looking like in the household?

37:12

Are you know? Are y'all bickering. Are you

37:14

nagging? Is he nagging? Is there complaints about

37:16

not enough sex? Like, there's a lot of things

37:19

that can be dissected here

37:21

if we had a little bit more. I think I'm

37:23

background on the story.

37:25

Who leaves umstains on they shirt and

37:27

go home?

37:28

Right?

37:29

That's like to me, just sounds like

37:32

it's happened. It's happened, okay after

37:34

the first time, and she noticed it. How about us, like, yo,

37:36

let me move my shirt out the way. Like for me,

37:38

it just seems like I'm not sure.

37:40

Unless he just doesn't care at this point, he's like, well,

37:42

I'm gonna get caught, I'm gonna get call.

37:44

But here's my thing. If he don't care, then he'd

37:46

just be like, yeah, they come stains, and so

37:48

he cares enough to lie if he's lying.

37:51

So if you care enough to lie, then

37:54

why don't you care enough to take your shirt off or pull

37:56

your shirt up or you know what I'm saying, Like, I

37:58

just want to know.

37:59

Because we've many of quikies where you just like you pull

38:01

the shirt up over your head like.

38:03

This, I've never had I've never had costings

38:05

on my shirt on our shirt ever, Like

38:08

we come on. We've been against who's eighteen? We had mad

38:10

quokies in the car going right before we

38:12

had heads to our parents for Valentine's or you

38:15

know what I'm saying, yo, your parents just going let's

38:17

go. I've never once just had come staying

38:19

on my shirt, right, so I wonder

38:22

what that is. But even if you know, even

38:24

if it ain't, she asked a question about knowing your

38:26

worth. Truth of the matter

38:28

is, I would never just stay

38:30

in a relationship for my kids.

38:33

I personally would be like, listen, I

38:36

am a better father if I'm in a better

38:38

place with peace. You and I can

38:40

co parent, We can be friends.

38:43

We don't even have to be friends. We have

38:45

to be able to co parent, though. And

38:47

if you're willing to work with me and doing that, then

38:49

cool. If you're not willing to work with me

38:51

on that, that's cool too, because I still got to be

38:53

who I am for my children.

38:56

I do also know, though, that sometimes

38:58

the other person can make it hard for you to

39:00

parents when they want

39:03

something that you don't want. You

39:05

know, we've seen time and time again since

39:07

we've been together, people who have kids.

39:09

One wants to be in a relationship and one don't. Then

39:12

the person who does want to be in a relationship

39:14

makes it hard for that person to be a parent because

39:16

that's the only way that they can keep

39:18

that person engage in

39:20

whatever relationship. Because I'm just talk

39:23

with them, you know what I'm saying, So I know

39:25

how hard that is. But as far as knowing

39:27

your words, you know what your worth is. You

39:29

know exactly what your worth is and what you're willing

39:31

to receive and accept. And

39:33

if you're not willing to receive and accept cheating,

39:36

then it's time to go. You know what I'm saying. Like, there's

39:39

no debating it. It's just time to go. Your

39:41

children wouldn't say, babe, but mom, stay

39:43

and get cheated on for us, babies

39:45

won't say that they want to see their parents

39:48

happy too.

39:48

And also too, she said, just be single,

39:51

or at least communicate that you're not happy and or

39:53

interested in seeing other people. Maybe start

39:55

their spark the communication by talk

39:57

about what it is like. Just

40:00

come to him with some sort of well,

40:02

of course, the approaches and everything, So just say, hey,

40:04

are you just not happy here? Like, just please

40:07

be honest with me so we can get some clarity about

40:09

what we should do. Moving forward, because

40:11

genuinely, all you should want

40:14

at the end of the day is for both of you to be

40:16

happy in whatever space that looks like. And

40:18

like you said, being a co

40:20

parent who's a healthier version of themselves

40:23

is always better for the children in the long run, you

40:25

know. So I don't have the conversation

40:27

about that.

40:28

She said, they've been married going on six years,

40:30

right, and she's only twenty four. They've

40:32

been together, say were.

40:33

Eighteen, right, that's if he's the same.

40:35

Hopefully he's around that age, or they're

40:37

young, they're growing together. But if he's not, he's a little

40:39

bit older. But my thing is

40:41

too. And this is just the God's

40:43

honest truth. It

40:46

takes a certain level of maturity in man

40:48

to know how to deal with and

40:50

have empathy for a woman who

40:52

is carrying a child. Every man is

40:54

not made to be a father. Every man

40:56

is not made to be a spouse, you know, and

40:59

every man is not made to be the

41:01

person responsible for the

41:04

woman carrying the child. And you had

41:06

two children back to back. If he's

41:08

young, he may not be mature enough to understand

41:10

what it means to be in that position.

41:12

And if that's the case, let him go do what he doing,

41:15

and you go be who you need to be

41:17

for your children and find someone if you desire

41:19

to be with, someone who was prepared

41:22

enough and emotionally prepared enough to take on

41:24

that role. Because if he is cheating consistently,

41:27

then that's not gonna stop just

41:29

because you pointed it out. And I think

41:31

sometimes that's what people think, I caught you.

41:33

Now that I caught you a you're gonna stop right, No,

41:36

you caught me. I'ma lie about it, and I'm

41:38

gonna find another way to do it. You know, it

41:40

takes a level of emotional maturity to

41:42

stop that behavior if you want to. I

41:44

think a lot of people need to understand once you decide

41:46

to have a child, and I'll speak to women

41:48

for this, understand that it's a lot for

41:51

a man to know how to deal with all of the changes

41:53

a woman goes through. So when you decide

41:55

that you want to lay down with a man, and that man may

41:57

be the father of your child, have discernment

41:59

with who you choosing to lay down with, the

42:01

same way we have to have discernment as men

42:04

on who we're gonna lay down with and impregnate.

42:06

It's the same thing because.

42:07

There's always a possibility.

42:09

And if you sleeping with somebody and you looking

42:11

at them and saying this person will not make a good father,

42:14

they're not empathetic, that they don't care about

42:16

anyone else, don't sleep with them, because

42:18

then you get this situation, right, right,

42:21

this is the truth, gentlemen. Your

42:23

girl get pregnant, the first three months or that

42:25

trimester, she not gonna want hear

42:27

from you. She's gonna be nauseous, she's gonna

42:29

be tired, she's gonna be throwing up all the time,

42:32

and every time she looks at you, she's gonna be disgusted

42:34

at the fact that you get to be normal and she

42:36

has to go through. Well, it's the first three months. Yeah,

42:39

the next three months, she's gonna feel like she

42:41

wasn't pregnant. Oh, I'm

42:43

out the first try mester. It's the second trimester. But

42:46

you know what happens in the second trimester. Women

42:49

start to show a little bit, but that show isn't

42:51

really a baby bump, it's a pudge.

42:53

So now that same woman is gonna be a

42:56

little bit insecure about how she looks because

42:59

she's a little bit heavy now, like things aren't

43:01

fitting the same them pants don't close.

43:02

Have you done a little bit?

43:04

A little bit, You're gonna have to deal

43:06

with that. So now, first semester, you was dealing

43:08

with her hating you because she was sick every day.

43:11

Now the second trimester, she's gonna hate you because

43:13

she don't look the same. She's starting to change a little bit.

43:16

Third trimester's hell because

43:18

now she's big, she ready for this kid to come

43:20

out. Her pelvis is gonna be hurting, she's

43:22

gonna be have discharge, she's not gonna want

43:24

to have sex. She's gonna hate everybody.

43:28

And if you, as a woman, haven't chosen

43:31

the right man to walk that journey

43:33

with, you're gonna find yourself extremely disappointed

43:36

because dudes's gonna be like, what is happening? And

43:38

here's the crazy part. That's only the beginning.

43:40

Because then there's a fourth trimester when

43:42

the baby gets here and you have sleep deprivation.

43:45

You gotta wake up every two and a half hours to breastfeed.

43:48

Your boobs are gonna be sore, probably cracked

43:50

and bleeding. Your vagina's gonna be sore.

43:52

You know, if you had to have surgery's gonna have to be snitched.

43:54

Up.

43:55

So now we're going on a full year. You

43:57

haven't had the woman that you laid down to have sex

43:59

with. You know what happens to most men who

44:01

don't, who aren't prepared for that, They

44:04

cheat. You know what happens to most

44:06

women who haven't chosen the right party to go through

44:08

that with, they get cheated on. Couple

44:11

that with the fact that y'all did all of that, had the baby,

44:13

and then a couple months later got pregnant again.

44:16

Yeah, man, it's a lot. Your body hasn't

44:18

even fully recovered from what happened to it last

44:20

time.

44:20

It's a lot. Like like ladies and gentlemen,

44:23

pregnancy and delivery

44:26

and child rearing is a lot. It

44:29

is never on one person. Two people had

44:31

to lay down to make that child. Two people have

44:33

to take care of it. If you don't choose the right partner, you're

44:35

gonna end up in situations like this fact

44:38

men and women, because I know some ain't ship

44:40

mothers and I know some ain't shit fathers. I

44:42

know some people that be like, why would you even have

44:44

a child the way you behave It's not

44:47

stupidity, it's not gender specific, trust

44:49

me, and it's not age specific because

44:51

I know some dumb old motherfuckers and I know

44:53

some dumb young motherfuckers. That's

44:56

the truth. Like, I can't see

44:57

him find an older

45:00

women to have a baby, which she'll be better though, No

45:02

find the older man to have a baby, but he'll be better. No, them

45:04

niggas is dumb. They was dumb as young people and they dumb

45:06

his.

45:07

That's one thing. Yeah, I've noticed it

45:09

at the rifle age of forty that people

45:11

some people are just their same eighteen

45:13

year old selves and they're same twenty something year old

45:15

selves that have just aged yes

45:17

to forty and beyond yes, and have not

45:19

grown at all and have no desire to

45:22

change.

45:22

So hopefully we've helped

45:24

you. The biggest thing here is but confirm

45:26

that is come stains all right.

45:28

So if you want to take some pictures, send it back to

45:30

Trouble. We will send it to our labs

45:34

and our labs of me Josh,

45:36

Matt and Trupple gonna look at it and be like, I don't

45:38

know if this is coming out or it maybe come

45:40

and then tell you, yeah, yeah, yeah, he cheating

45:42

on you. So send

45:44

it to us again and we can close this. We

45:46

should have We should have a dead ass Court. We

45:49

should have a dead ass Court.

45:51

Bro equipped with forensics for

45:53

real, all sorts.

45:54

Of stuff I'll pull I pull up in this motherfucker

45:56

like this. I got the test right here.

45:57

It's dead ass Come when they come.

46:00

To the cumb stains on

46:03

Jonathan's T shirt, you

46:06

are a cheater. She's gonna get

46:08

up and be like he's gonna

46:10

run in the bag.

46:14

Yod deplete

46:22

to today we have we should definitely, we

46:24

should definitely do dead ass Court, y'all.

46:26

What do you think y'all think?

46:29

I feel like the after show can kind of be like dead Ass Court.

46:31

We're gonna find out from Josh Trouble and that what they

46:33

think about this.

46:34

So hold coming to you after after

46:36

the show show, Dead Ass Court Live,

46:39

all right, Number two.

46:41

Communicate, Please figure out what's going on over

46:43

there and circle back with us and let us know how it goes,

46:45

So all the best uses for real.

46:47

Number two. I would like to say

46:49

I would like to stay anonymous because I've told

46:51

everyone I know to listen to y'all,

46:53

so i know they're gonna hand it. I'm from

46:56

New York, You're you're love

46:58

it, and I've been in a relationship with my fan for almost

47:00

three years and we have a four month old. Congratulations

47:03

to you guys. Our sex life has gone

47:05

through a lot, but now it's amazing. That's

47:08

what I'm talking about, you working at it. Only thing

47:10

is sometimes when we are in the moments, I'm imagining

47:13

scenarios to help get me to the big

47:15

moment, if you know what I mean. Don't

47:17

get me wrong. All the scenarios are

47:20

with my man. For example, I'm imagining

47:22

him as a cop arresting me, or

47:25

him being just a friend. And we shouldn't

47:27

be doing this basically like porn storylines.

47:30

Is this wrong? How fucking No? It ain't wrong?

47:32

And should I talk to my man about this? Yes,

47:34

you should talk to my yo. What does

47:37

it mean? I'm not sure if it means I'm not being satisfied

47:39

by him alone. Love you guys?

47:41

Did you have fantasies?

47:43

The thing I like the best is that she said she's

47:46

imagining him a girl. I wish

47:48

Kay would tell me arrest

47:51

me, arrest me, daddy.

47:54

I was like, what you want me to do? What? I will

47:56

go to the local police department.

47:58

I will buy a full flo I will

48:00

get a police car. She will be coming home

48:02

from the grocery store. I will pull her ass over,

48:05

sirens and everything. I would hire someone

48:07

to be my partner. I'd be like, Yo, can

48:09

you grab a put in the back seat, and I will fuck

48:11

the shit out of KR in the back seat of that fucking

48:14

uh copcast ya

48:17

for real. Fact, I would have on the cam

48:20

and everything so I could record it. I will go out

48:22

and then I will recorded it and I would have her doing all sorts

48:24

of wild ship and then I will record and I will show it to a

48:26

lady say see what I did for you. So, no,

48:28

you ain't wrong, you are absolutely right.

48:31

And the fact that she said that sex life is amazing,

48:34

which means they are compatible. They

48:36

are they're doing the right things. I love

48:39

this.

48:39

Yes, it's the scenarios and the role play

48:41

for me because apparently I've been actually in

48:44

scene study myself because

48:46

I have some stuff that I've been working on for the vo. So

48:48

this is actually so right on time, and this

48:50

is this is the Lord giving me affirmation

48:53

that I'm on the right track about

48:55

what I was thinking. Because it's

48:57

let me tell you the role play, the dressing up. This is on the

48:59

devows been dying for me to do for years,

49:02

and I was thinking of something.

49:03

Now years, decades, decades.

49:05

I finally think I found a situation

49:08

and a recipe. So I love that somebody

49:10

else is feeling the same way. Have those

49:12

fantasies about your man, tell him

49:14

what they are? Roll them ship all

49:18

that.

49:18

Are you talking about my fantasies or you got your own

49:20

fantasies?

49:21

No, I think both of our fantasies. Some are mine and some

49:23

are yours. You ain't

49:25

tell me no, no, no, I want

49:28

to do for you because the fantasy

49:30

of mine to please you in those ways.

49:32

So yes, I do want to be stopped

49:35

by a lady cop thinking

49:37

I should day the cab because the uniform

49:39

fit is so tight. D me my rights,

49:42

cut the lights. I

49:45

had the right to read silent

49:49

for everybody who don't know. That's that's

49:52

wezy wesy and Bobby Valentino

49:55

like a cop co ya

49:57

when I.

49:58

Get up, Oh

50:01

we can see that angels.

50:03

Yeah? Oh man, No, just kind of actually

50:05

got me.

50:05

Hi, I wish, I wish, Oh

50:08

my god, I do have a cop outfit too, I still

50:10

got it.

50:11

Yeah, you do got a cop outfit? You were

50:13

once in like twenty nineteen.

50:16

I remember now, it

50:18

won't fit. There's nothing going over that thing

50:20

you grew back there this unless

50:22

it's the skirt, and then it'll all over little

50:25

booty. Yeah yeah, but it ain't little no

50:27

more. After four.

50:30

You can look forward to some extra weight in certain places.

50:33

Yes, I like that, but nah, but I

50:35

first of all, I think this is dope. This

50:38

is dope, a girl. You would

50:40

be surprised he would love to get dressed

50:42

up. Man, I'll go down to the fire

50:44

department. Man, get me a fire hose, and I put

50:46

the house on fire. Kate Walker home, Like why

50:49

the house on fire? Be like, shut up, shut

50:52

up, pull my holes out, skirt

50:56

all over you get this fire out. You

50:58

know how I'm pooring things. Man, It's only

51:00

one way we can get the fire out. I

51:02

need you to squirt as much as you can to get

51:04

this one. Do you want

51:06

me to squirt on the house, the bus. Do what

51:09

you gotta do, baby, We gotta get the fire

51:11

right out of here.

51:12

I love it. There's so many scenarios coming up.

51:15

I love this, and I love this for you.

51:16

Girl.

51:17

Go ahead and let us know, circle back and let us know how he

51:19

likes it. I'm good for a circle back

51:21

love y'all. We're in the circle back season too. Said anything

51:24

that you any business that was undone or

51:26

unfinished in twenty twenty three. Now is the time to

51:28

circle back for your right y'all. All

51:31

right, and be sure if you haven't circled back yet,

51:33

slide into our messages.

51:36

We want to listen letters from you.

51:38

Do do this.

51:40

Tell him that you are a naughty

51:42

school girl and you've been a bad

51:45

girl, and you came to the principal's

51:47

office because you need to get

51:49

punished.

51:50

He's the principle.

51:51

He's the principal. Put on some glasses, put

51:53

on a skirt, and do

51:55

all of the things.

51:56

And watch you got some blue light glasses.

51:58

Watch how he gonna be like huh. And

52:01

then you're gonna be like, yeah, I've been naughty, and

52:04

look at Dennis eyes and then roll your shoulders

52:06

like this and go I've been naughty, And

52:09

then take out a pattern, be like, spank me, daddy.

52:12

I guarantee you he gonna be like, yes,

52:14

ma'am, Yes, ma'am. And then you gonna

52:17

find yourself in a different position. Because when

52:19

you can get a man to use his imagination

52:21

in the bed fucking rap.

52:23

I know he was done with that, but now it was making me

52:25

think, y'all

52:27

have to see the eyes in the body language. For y'all

52:29

on Patreon, you can see it if you're listening. You gott to join

52:32

Patreon to get all the theatrics.

52:33

If y'all knew things that

52:36

me and Kadeen be doing. Yo, I'll

52:38

be in the living room and then Kadeen will just disappear

52:41

right and then I'll get a text message and

52:43

I'll just look at the text messages and then I'm

52:45

just like, she like what you doing? And I'm like,

52:47

where are you at? And then she'll just be some

52:50

nasty shit that she's just I can't tell

52:52

y'all because I don't want to barrass my wife.

52:54

Then I go back there in that room and she got some outfit

52:57

on and I ain't never seen in Vegas.

52:59

She had a old leather Victorious

53:01

secret that was five joint and

53:04

man, we were staying in what we

53:06

sayed in the Encore, saying

53:09

the Encore where we could see the

53:11

dome the new So

53:13

the light is constantly going to our room. So

53:16

we were using that light as our lights,

53:18

and it was like.

53:21

You know. Time happens in Vegas, that's

53:23

the fact.

53:23

And whatever happens in Vegas right there stays

53:25

on my phone so I can watch it later.

53:28

God forbid, God forbid. Let

53:31

me tell y'all, if there's a breakout

53:33

viral moment, it'll be that.

53:36

It'll be that.

53:37

Probably I'd be so popular and so famous

53:39

after that. Forget it, forget

53:41

it. I'm gonna run that back. Though. That's a good

53:43

thing too about being in your forties and being in shape. There's

53:45

things that you can wear now in the bedroom where you feel

53:47

confident. Let me tell you all.

53:50

In the twenties and thirties too, like you was popular,

53:52

but not like.

53:53

In between kids, like I feel like every like once I

53:55

got back after each kid, and I felt more confident

53:57

with like my but like when

53:59

the strings and the and the wires can just

54:01

like sit and they don't be cutting in and you have like

54:04

all extra fat hanging out the side, like when it just

54:06

lazes where it's supposed to lay. You couldn't

54:08

tell me when you like.

54:10

When you're not looking like a pack of busted biscuits.

54:13

You know, when you bust the biscuits on the corner table

54:15

and it'd be like and it'd be like spilling

54:17

out right. So

54:19

you don't, you don't you didn't like.

54:20

Looking likely for me. No, you know some

54:22

people with that.

54:24

Some of the best we had was

54:26

when you was fluffy.

54:28

You was.

54:28

It was right after them kids. That's how cass got

54:30

here, That's how got how

54:32

calves got here. It was a little fluffy, but was.

54:37

Sort of stuff.

54:38

It was fluffy, though, but you wasn't. It was a biscuit

54:40

away, but I was the biscuit.

54:43

He was the biscuits. Biscuit called

54:46

me the Pillsbury dough boy, the

54:48

baker that biscuit over.

54:50

Bake me a cake as fast as you.

54:52

Put some gravy on that biscuits were

54:56

so stupid? Can you can you? You

54:58

know what you one

55:00

of our listeners. Let us email us at dead ass

55:03

Advice at gmail dot com.

55:04

That's d E A D A S S

55:07

A d V I C E at

55:09

gmail dot com.

55:13

A little bit right.

55:14

I love that moment of truth

55:16

time. Oh my god, y'all, moment

55:19

of truth time.

55:20

I got an easy one. You forty, You

55:22

fine as fuck. You accomplished your mom, You've

55:24

done everything. Just keep enjoying life, move on.

55:26

Thanks next thank you moment of truth

55:29

for me. I'm so thankful to

55:31

God for forty years on this

55:33

earth, yes, much of which

55:36

more than half has been with you by

55:39

my side, building and growing together. We

55:41

have four beautiful children. I

55:43

am just excited about unapologetically

55:46

being who I am from

55:48

forty on and

55:51

mad trips. Where are we going next?

55:53

You know who? You're gonna be a cop later?

55:56

Lada cat arrest me because

55:59

the uniform one fit miss o tite. All

56:07

right, y'all, be sure to follow us

56:10

on Patreon if you haven't subscribed yet,

56:12

now is the time to see exclusive

56:15

dead Ass podcast video along with a

56:17

ton of Ellis content all Decay episodes.

56:20

I will be doing more this year, pulling

56:22

you guys in to all the stuff that I have going on in

56:25

this new year, and you can also find us on social

56:27

media dead Ass the podcast. You can find

56:29

me at Kadeen I Am.

56:30

And I Am Deval And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,

56:33

be sure to rate, review, subscribe,

56:35

pick up that We over Meet book The Counterintuitive

56:37

Approach to getting Everything you want out of your

56:39

relationship, and make sure you subscribe

56:42

to us on Patreon.

56:43

And if you haven't gotten your tour tickets yet,

56:46

this is going to be the last tour for the

56:48

foreseeable future, y'all. I'm letting y'all know that

56:51

now we're not sure if or when we'll

56:53

be back on tour. So Dallas,

56:56

New York, Philly, DC,

56:58

Charlotte and Atlanta. Now is the time.

57:01

Grab a friend. If you live close

57:04

by to a road trip, make it a weekend

57:06

overnight is Valentine's Day in

57:09

between. Get your tickets

57:11

now and see us go out with a bang.

57:13

Dead Ass dead Ass is

57:15

a production of iHeartMedia podcast network,

57:18

and it's produced by Donor Opinia and Triple

57:21

Follow the podcast on social media at dead

57:23

Ass the Podcast and never miss a Thing