0:00

This is our last toy, y'all. Hey,

0:05

why you're so excited. Look how excited it

0:07

is. Well, I'm not excited.

0:09

You know. It's funny because live

0:11

shows are actually my most favorite thing to

0:14

do.

0:15

I can't tell you're

0:20

supposed to say dead ass.

0:21

I was supposed to say dead ass

0:23

ass.

0:26

Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm and

0:28

we're the Ellis's.

0:30

You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

0:32

Boys and reading each other publicly

0:35

as.

0:35

A form of therapy. Wait, I make

0:38

you need therapy most days. Wow.

0:41

Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

0:43

Yes, sir, we are. We created this

0:45

podcast to open dialogue about some of li's

0:48

most taboo topics.

0:49

Things most folks don't want

0:51

to talk about.

0:51

Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead

0:53

ass is a term that we say every day. So

0:56

when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts

0:59

one hundred, the truth, the whole truth,

1:01

and nothing but the truth. We about to take Billows

1:04

off to our whole new level.

1:08

Dead ass starts right now.

1:12

Story time. Oh my god,

1:15

I'm gonna take y'all back to two

1:18

thousand and nineteen. That

1:21

was the first time we did a live show.

1:24

Was it twenty nineteen?

1:25

Yes? It was. And

1:29

as a matter of fact, Nah,

1:33

I'm gonna take y'all back to two thousand and

1:35

eighteen. Caudeen and I was

1:37

on the Black Love panel and they did the Black

1:39

Love Live panel, and this was

1:41

in LA. It was

1:43

us Sternley K. Brown

1:46

and his wife. Who's

1:48

the other couple, Oh, it's Tommy and Cody?

1:51

Was it Michael Jah White?

1:53

On that?

1:54

No?

1:54

Not on that, depending on LA. It was just

1:56

us three couples. And I had told the

1:58

story about the

2:00

stroller and how you cursed me out for

2:03

what you thought was given away the stroller which wasn't

2:05

given away. It was at my brother's house. Yes, yes,

2:07

And in that moment, I had saw

2:11

the reaction from the crowd that I had never

2:13

saw before while I was telling the stories,

2:15

and I was like, man, I actually loved telling these

2:17

stories, but the feeling you get from telling

2:19

the stories as opposed to creating a post on Instagram

2:22

was completely different. And it was in that

2:24

moment that I was just like, we

2:27

need to go on tour. And that's when I came up with

2:29

Devo's Truth Live.

2:31

Yes.

2:31

Posted by Kadeen. You would

2:33

be hosting the whole storytelling

2:36

and us going back and forth, which is ultimately

2:39

that ass podcast.

2:40

Right, because it was giving us stand up esque

2:42

kind of feel but encompassing

2:44

what the podcast show was like throwing

2:47

down.

2:47

Yeah, because the whole idea to me was,

2:50

we've never seen a stand up comedian tell

2:52

stories about his family when his wife

2:55

was there actually being able to

2:57

either coroborate the story or be like niney of you

2:59

lie right right right. And I just felt like it was a different

3:02

dynamic that we've ever seen from anyone, And since

3:04

I don't consider myself a stand up it was

3:06

just a way for us to do our show

3:08

in that way. So that was it

3:10

only made sense, and then it morphed into the

3:13

Dead Ass Podcast and then ultimately

3:15

now Dead Ass Podcast Live. Dang,

3:19

what song are we going to sing karaoke?

3:22

What was one of our most popular songs? I feel

3:24

like on tour people

3:28

love dreams of nightmares?

3:29

I was just about to say every time we

3:31

closed this show and you

3:33

hear hold on, wait a minute, y'all thought

3:35

I was finished when I.

3:37

Bought that, as in many y'all thought it was rented.

3:39

It always turns the crowd like the crowd

3:41

gets hype as a way to close it,

3:43

because everybody knows dreams and nightmares, like the ultimate

3:46

Hype song. They played that before every basketball,

3:48

football, baseball, soccer game, So

3:51

the play at the end of our live show was just like it

3:54

only made sense. And the first time we played it we were

3:56

in Philly.

3:57

We did about that, which makes

3:59

sense because all that. But we also had

4:01

a couple of other good ones, like think about those songs

4:03

that when you hear it, when black people are

4:05

together in one space, we can't help but go

4:07

into chorus.

4:08

I think one is what's that Keisha

4:11

Coole song?

4:13

You know what I'm thinking about? Oh? Yes,

4:19

yep?

4:20

And that song goes another good one, Can we

4:22

Talk?

4:23

It's like cany I

4:25

can see all right

4:27

now? I

4:29

think that

4:34

song every black person get up, start doing the lectric.

4:36

That's a fact. You

4:43

can't glaze over. Can't we talk?

4:44

Though?

4:44

That's another one that I was to.

4:46

Glaze over and you can pause that because I'm not glazing anything

4:49

but everybody,

4:52

especially since the challenge came out,

4:54

which.

4:54

Challenge can we Talk?

4:56

Challenge? Yeah, exactly, You're

4:58

gonna try and sing because I know I'm not.

4:59

The super star Challenge.

5:01

You said, we're not gonna close over can we talk? You're

5:03

not gonna do the can we talk? Don't glaze over it?

5:06

What say it? Wait? What the whole

5:08

song? Not just the challenge for what's the challenge

5:10

part?

5:10

Again? I forget because my mind is

5:12

is on Superstar now by us?

5:14

Sure it the same person that told

5:16

me all right, so we just glazed

5:18

up. She literally said we're not gonna glaze

5:20

over can we talk? And then I said, well go singing?

5:23

She said, we will we at the Superstar Challenge. Now,

5:26

how you gonna do that?

5:27

Welcome to our karaoke confilation, y'all,

5:30

as we prepare for the Dead Ass Live Show.

5:32

Yes, let's get it together and we're gonna pay some bills

5:34

to come back, and we're gonna talk about preparing

5:37

for the tour, what it's looking like for us, why this

5:39

might be our last tour for now, and

5:42

hopefully we can get some clarity for y'all about

5:44

what's gonna be happening when we're out there in February.

5:46

So stick around, we'll be back, all

5:50

right. I forgot

5:53

that that was really how we came up with

5:55

the Dead Ass Live Show. Yes, that

5:58

it was really when we had to sit down on stage

6:01

with Cody and Tommy and Sterling and Ryan,

6:03

but also too, I remember us

6:05

going to the live show for the

6:07

read Yes with

6:10

Crystalline and Kid and.

6:14

Yeah, we love the read.

6:15

The first podcast that started

6:17

to talk about you and I and

6:20

we started to get some momentum from the read. So we

6:22

always have to give a shout out to the read.

6:25

Kid, this is my guy,

6:27

Brom He's he's freaking.

6:30

And Crystal

6:32

shout out to the read. They're the ones who really are

6:34

for us, are like the fairy god parents.

6:36

Of pod podcasting, because that's what we looked at.

6:38

We did, we did, and they're

6:40

still doing their things, so go into their live show as well

6:42

too. We were like, wow, this is like pretty much like the

6:44

podcast, but we get to see them in person. So

6:47

it was like the perfect marriage for Deval and I when

6:49

we were trying to curate what the Dead Ass

6:52

live experience was going to look like. It's

6:55

having the entertainment portion of it, where devalas

6:57

of course doing his elaborate story times

6:59

that I'm there to either confirm or deny

7:02

whether the story is true or not, and

7:04

then getting audience participation because of course

7:06

that's the one thing that we're missing when we have podcasts

7:08

that we record like this, right, he and I are just answering

7:11

things, But then there's the listener letter portion where

7:13

we get to have the audience interacting with us and asking

7:15

questions live and in the moment. And

7:18

Yeah, this time around, I think Deval and I were

7:21

really looking for a way to kind of we've

7:23

been saying go out with a bang. So what

7:25

does that mean for you, babe, telling these folks

7:27

that we're going out with a bang?

7:28

Well, the first thing is is going

7:30

out not because we necessarily just don't

7:32

want to do it anymore. We clearly still want to

7:34

do it. The problem is finding time

7:37

to prepare around

7:40

my filming schedule and our parenting

7:42

schedule and actually putting on the show that we

7:44

feel is good enough to

7:47

be dead ass podcast. That's your biggest

7:49

issue? Sure, last year

7:51

we did a show in August, and then

7:53

we did another show again in February, so

7:55

it was literally about five to six

7:57

months in between and and planning that show. It was

7:59

a lot. It was very taxing.

8:02

On us the year before.

8:04

Yeah, well, no, twenty twenty twenty

8:06

three, we did it in just February,

8:08

but then twenty twenty two we did it in August, so

8:11

we actually did two shows in two rounds

8:13

of shows in one year. And the

8:15

way we picked the shows for people who keep asking us,

8:17

how come y'all to come here? How can you come there? Right, we

8:20

are picking the shows in the locations based

8:22

on weather. Because last year

8:24

we did Detroit and Chicago in February

8:27

and we almost didn't have a Detroit show because

8:29

there was a weather emergency and there was a blizzard

8:32

and a lot of people were telling us, you might want to cancel

8:34

the show, but we were like, we can't cancel the show because

8:36

if we do, we won't know when we'll be able to come back.

8:39

And we've had over a thousand people buy tickets.

8:41

Shout out to Detroit.

8:42

Y'all are resilient af facts,

8:44

And for them, I think the

8:46

people in Detroit, they were just like, well, it's just another

8:49

snow day out here, yep, you know, So everybody

8:51

still came out like the house was sacked. And we

8:53

love y'all for that, Detroit. So of course

8:55

we do want to run it back, but we may run it back

8:57

if we do in the future.

8:59

In the summer months, Detroit and Chicago

9:01

in the summertime, that'll be great. We also did

9:03

LA in February last year and it rained the

9:06

two days that we were in LA. So now we're

9:08

trying to figure out what's the best time to do a

9:10

tour. But we also realized

9:12

the only time for us to do a tour is in

9:14

February during pilot season

9:16

because once March and April comes around, I'm

9:18

typically filming. Yeah, so we can't even

9:21

do it in the spring. The summertime we've dedicated

9:23

to our family, we dedicated to the boys, and

9:25

then in the fall, I'm typically filming

9:28

sisters or as a team on. So right now,

9:30

the only time we have is February, and

9:32

we don't want to just continue to give

9:34

you guys the bare minimum. We tried to

9:36

up the ante every time, but

9:38

that requires a lot more planning.

9:40

So listen, y'all. The one thing we ain't trying to do is

9:42

playing y'all face.

9:43

Okay, So we're not going to tell y'all to come out to

9:45

a show, make it a thing, make it a weekend

9:47

or whatever, and then deliver.

9:49

A mediocre show.

9:50

Not doing that, we're always trying to find ways to elevate

9:52

the experience.

9:54

Facts.

9:55

How do we feel about our first live show versus

9:57

the last one? I mean, man,

10:00

so much evolution I think has taken place from

10:02

the first show to the last one we did. The last

10:04

show was Chicago. The very first

10:06

show was that in Philadelphia.

10:08

Philadelphia was Brooklyn.

10:11

No, the very first show was in Philadelphia.

10:13

We finished in Brooklyn.

10:14

Yes, you're right.

10:15

The very first show was your Philadelphia. I can't

10:17

remember the name of the theater. It was about a four

10:19

hundred seat venue. Yeah,

10:22

the crowd was amazing. That's why we always

10:24

go back to Philly whenever we do in northeast toilways

10:26

go back to Philly.

10:27

For sure.

10:27

I felt good because of

10:30

course it was a smaller venue, so we were actually trying

10:32

some things out. But I learned then that

10:34

you and I worked really well in a live

10:37

situation like it was.

10:39

It was so much fun because we got

10:41

to bounce off of each other and the audience.

10:43

And I was going to say, the audience energy and everything

10:46

for us that Philly

10:48

shall remember exactly the Philly she I remember being super

10:50

nervous. We had like a small meet and greet before and

10:53

it's something about just meeting y'all in person

10:55

that I know when people approach us sometimes

10:58

they're like, oh my god, I can't believe, like I'm so meeting

11:00

you. But I get nervous meeting y'all sometimes

11:02

because I never want for anyone

11:05

to meet me and they feel like,

11:07

damn, like Kadeen didn't live up

11:09

to whatever I expected her to be. You

11:11

know what I'm saying, Like, that's always something that I take into

11:13

consideration. And of course, you know, you may find

11:16

me in a moment where I might be in the middle of like my

11:18

mind, or I'm traveling with the kids, or like

11:20

we just went through TSA the other day and they took my child

11:22

butter from me and I was so mad about

11:25

it and shout out to homeboy at TSA.

11:27

Sorry, bro, wasn't you. It's just like I've traveled with

11:29

that so many times before, and the one time I

11:31

travel this time, you want to take it for me?

11:33

She was gude.

11:34

I'm like, he didn't make

11:37

the rule. All he's doing is enforcing the rules

11:39

of the day.

11:40

Just want the rules to be consistent, y'all.

11:42

Come on, heart to feel Atlanta be consistent. I

11:44

want the same travel experience every time. But

11:46

AnyWho, I just say that to say, whenever I meet

11:48

y'all, I love to have that energy in person.

11:50

We feed off of you.

11:51

That's why I think also too, for us

11:53

some show venues, we think one

11:55

show is maybe better than the other because the

11:58

audience participation, the vibe that you give to

12:00

us helps us to deliver a

12:02

show to you. So that reciprocity I love to

12:04

have in a live show experience what

12:07

inspired us to put together on

12:09

this next show.

12:10

So I'm glad you asked

12:13

that. Last

12:15

year, Kadeen and I, well, Kadeen

12:17

specifically went on a world tour with Beyonce.

12:21

I actually had an opportunity to go see

12:23

Beyonce twice. I saw

12:26

LLL Cooj, which to me is one of the goats rappers

12:28

that he's one of the greatest performers I had ever

12:31

seen. We saw Drake, and

12:33

we saw Usher to close

12:35

out the year. Watching those

12:38

live performances definitely

12:40

sparked something in me to want to

12:43

give y'all greater. So when people keep asking

12:45

what can we expect and like why is this the last show?

12:48

I know how much work it took for those

12:50

artists to create the show that they curated

12:53

for people. I don't want to give people

12:55

any shortcuts. So we have some

12:57

things in this show. I'm not going to say,

13:00

but when you watch it, you're gonna say they've

13:02

invested time and resources

13:05

to be able to prepare that for us

13:07

because I want you guys to have the wild

13:10

shock factor. We're not going to get into the details

13:12

of what we've added to the show. That we've

13:14

added some different elements that's gonna make you say,

13:16

Wow, this is no longer just a

13:19

podcast experience. You're

13:21

coming to see a show working

13:23

over here.

13:24

Yes, all right, we are over

13:26

here working physically, mentally,

13:29

man, man, you see

13:31

it, spiritually, you see.

13:32

Niggas don't care no more, but listen, we gotta do the podcast.

13:35

Yes, but I'm tired. I've been working out every single

13:37

day, we have rehearsals, we have

13:39

so many other things to do, and I'm like, I'm gonna put this clothes

13:41

on, I'm gonna change the shirt for them. But we

13:43

are working so hard, Kadeen and I and

13:45

our whole staff, the Cruel team,

13:48

the whole team. Every day we on phone

13:50

calls like what do you guys think about this, Let's

13:52

add this, let's increase this. It's

13:54

just it's been a fun experience.

13:56

Yeah, it really has been fun to prepare.

13:58

I think it brings us and us

14:00

that much closer together. It brings the crew that much

14:02

closer together, and everybody is so invested

14:04

in what will be the dead

14:06

ass live show at least for

14:08

the foreseeable future, because

14:11

like I said, it really is like I joke about, like not coming

14:13

back and not wanting to do this anymore, but it really

14:15

is one of my most favorite things to do, and

14:17

it is having the live experience. And I think that's just from

14:20

my background of always like being on.

14:21

Stage, seek

14:25

you be fronting, Like these live shows are so much

14:28

but I have to do her intro, and when I

14:30

do an intro, when I look back and I see that pos

14:33

in that silhouette, and then you start walking

14:35

and nothing else matters.

14:36

You're not worried about anything else. I get you

14:38

are the star. You come out and you get in your element,

14:41

and it's amazing

14:43

to watch. It really is amazing to watch you getting

14:45

your element on that stage and do what you.

14:47

Do because it's it's important for me too.

14:50

As much as it fills me up, it's important for me

14:52

to deliver that to you guys when you

14:54

come to the show, Like, I don't take it lightly that

14:56

you guys have spent your hard earned money

14:59

that you are investing to, that you're listening to, listening

15:01

to us, you're supporting us, you're sharing

15:03

us with people who you know and love.

15:05

I don't take that lightly.

15:07

So one of the questions on here is what's most important

15:09

to you with putting on these live shows is really just

15:11

making sure that every single person in the audience

15:14

feels like, man I really enjoyed

15:16

this ninety minutes or whatever with

15:18

the Ellises and those of you who have the meet

15:21

and greet. You know, I hope that when we do meet

15:23

you, even though you know, we may be exhausted.

15:25

From a show right right right, it's a long line

15:27

of people to meet and greet.

15:28

We want each experience for you guys to feel like man

15:30

I was the only person in this room with

15:32

Devalan Kadeen. So just know that, from

15:34

the bottom of our hearts, that's really what we're invested

15:37

in. Yes, we know none of this will be possible

15:39

without you, guys. You say

15:41

that one more time, Yes, none of this would be none

15:43

of this would be possible without you guys,

15:45

our Patreon crew. Yes, everyone

15:48

on social media who share and

15:50

subscribe and pass along notes

15:53

about coming to see the elisis.

15:54

None of this is responded. None of this could have been done

15:56

without you. So we appreciate you.

15:57

Cause I will say, particularly the patrig

16:00

shout out to y'all. You have to

16:02

really be invested in a level of

16:05

support to us if you are spending

16:08

money every month to join us in those experiences.

16:10

So we don't take lightly what we produce for you

16:12

on Patreon. You don't have to be there

16:14

to do that, and we've given i

16:17

want to say, almost seven years of just content

16:20

that hasn't been like highly produced or

16:22

cost anything.

16:24

That's why this next question, what do you hope to gain

16:26

from the live shows? That's what you're saying

16:28

leads me into that I

16:30

hope to curate an experience in person

16:33

because the digital age has made it so that people

16:35

think they really know you because they watch you on the

16:37

phone or watch you on TV. But no, they

16:40

don't really know us. So when we do the live shows,

16:42

I want them to really get a chance to know us,

16:44

get a chance to say I was in the same room as

16:46

those people. I was there when they were

16:49

building. Because even like one

16:51

thing I will say, there is no

16:54

mistake when you look at entertainment

16:56

and why comedians

17:00

continue to be the greatest

17:02

source of influence. When they're looking to add someone

17:04

to a project, they'll go to find a comedian, They'll

17:07

go to find a singer or a rapper. They always

17:09

go to people who do what provide

17:12

live shows? No, not laugh live

17:14

shows.

17:14

Well, live shows that live shows, Yeah, come and.

17:16

Laugh because live shows bring people

17:18

together. Someone who can command

17:20

an audience live is

17:22

a better person that will command them on television

17:25

or in the movies. So for me, I want

17:27

to continue that aspect of entertaining

17:30

live, not just digital. I

17:32

wanted to. I want people to be like I went to an event

17:35

and I ate, and I drank, and I laugh

17:37

and I cried and I hugged my girl and my wife

17:39

or I hugged my husband, and I met

17:41

them afterwards and they were the same people that I

17:43

saw on the internet. Like I

17:46

saw them and I actually shook hands and they

17:48

gave me words of encouragement, and like that's

17:50

what I want for people, oh for sure.

17:52

And I even think of people who have left the shows, like when

17:54

it talks about what the audience gains. I've

17:57

had people who then rode in after the fact or even

17:59

just hearing from our team, Like people got

18:01

to see the full experience, not just the Valenkadean, but

18:03

they got to meet Josh and Matt and Triple

18:05

and Denoor and like all of the people who help to

18:08

really just be invested in what that sperience

18:10

looks like for y'all. So it's like a family

18:12

feel. We get to be on stage with you

18:14

guys. It's not all curated

18:17

and highly edited and all that. You really are

18:19

just getting us in the moment. Yes, And

18:21

I love I love what that feels like for

18:24

us. And I'm hoping that everyone who's been

18:26

to the show already will be back, because we have a lot of

18:28

people who've been back and been to every show so far

18:30

in whatever respective city. But that just lets

18:32

me know that we have a good thing going when they're repeat

18:34

people coming back.

18:35

Absolutely, And also this is not the last

18:39

show that when we hate doing it, we're never doing

18:41

it again. We're trying to find a way to

18:43

curate an experience that you guys deserve,

18:46

but also curate our lives to where

18:48

our kids get the best version of us in our careers.

18:50

So we're trying to find a way, but as

18:52

of right now, this is going to be We're

18:54

gonna put everything into this show.

18:56

Yes, yes, And I mean also too like to

18:58

piggyback off of that devel where we

19:00

have the live shows now in the time of year, February

19:03

always kind of falls right into March and

19:05

April when you are potentially filming

19:07

something. And let's be real

19:09

about why we even started this journey. It

19:11

was to help to spark

19:14

your acting career, just sharing in general

19:16

and just showing what you were capable of. And

19:18

I just honestly feel deep down in my

19:20

soul that this year is going to be

19:22

a breakout year for you. And bring

19:25

on the projects, bring on the leading male

19:28

roles, bring on all the films, like this

19:30

is what you've been working so hard for. So in

19:32

me being a bit selfish in this moment wanting

19:35

to see you win, I feel like this is

19:37

like the time, this is when it's going to spark

19:39

for you, like in your forties. There's something

19:41

about now that just makes me feel like we're

19:43

gonna have to take a back seat. And I mean we meaning

19:46

me and y'all, you know, take

19:48

a back seat to Devo really living.

19:50

You will never in your life take a back

19:52

seat to anything that I got going on.

19:54

You know that.

19:56

There's never going to be a point where we be like,

19:58

baby, you, I don't understand I'm filming this.

20:00

No, I I elect

20:03

to make that decision for us and for

20:05

you to be able to do this. Y'all

20:07

have no idea how much Devo I will lose sleep

20:10

over what he's trying to

20:12

curate for this show with alongside

20:15

me and our team. So I feel

20:17

like it is just owed to you in this space, in this

20:19

moment, that you be able to live out those dreams

20:21

fully and this

20:24

moment.

20:25

Yeah, just create some space for me to

20:27

grow in other ways might not always be working

20:29

on something else and saying well, I can't do it.

20:31

Because we have this plan, I feel focused.

20:34

Do you have any favorite moments for many of our live shows,

20:36

whether it was twenty twenty, twenty twenty

20:38

two, twenty twenty.

20:39

Three, one of my favorite moments

20:42

the first moment I will have to say Chicago,

20:46

what's up? Chicago? Oh

20:51

my God?

20:53

To me?

20:53

To me, Chicago was like the best shop, like

20:56

to jump over the couch after Chicago's

20:58

and the lights people cheering.

21:02

There was a group in the corner that was in in

21:05

the balcony that you could

21:07

tell that they are fans

21:09

of our work because they were

21:12

reciting stuff from Sisters Zatima

21:14

from the podcast, reciting

21:17

videos from twenty

21:19

and seventeen, like saying

21:22

things that I'm just like wow, Like that has

21:24

become a bit of

21:26

a cultural phenomenon.

21:28

Like, for example, some

21:31

one of the young men screamed out, when

21:33

Kate come out here, she better be ready to drop

21:35

it, And I'm like, man, everyone

21:37

knows that kind of like how when we look at Martin

21:39

and you know, we look at the fresh prince of Jamie

21:42

Fox and they have certain things like when Jamie Fox goes,

21:45

people know that's him. So it's like now when people

21:48

him out, can I get a drop? They know, like that's the

21:50

valent coadeen do that right? You know. Even

21:52

when the whole drop challenge was happening, I

21:55

was getting tagged so often because they like, look

21:57

what y'all started, Look what y'all started,

21:59

now, you know, And I just felt good with Chicago

22:02

was like that moment everyone

22:04

knew everything and it was just like man, like they

22:07

rock with us, So Chicago will be my favorite

22:09

favor.

22:10

One favorite moment for me that was hilarious

22:13

was in New York when

22:15

I forgot that your parents were in

22:18

the crowd or they were going to be at that show because

22:20

we had already car agreed. We

22:22

collectively agreed that like, our parents just can't

22:24

come to our live shows, like we would love for them

22:26

to see us in action, but like it's not appropriate

22:29

for our parents to come because you know, we joke about

22:31

all sorts of flude things, and

22:34

seeing as though in my mom's eyes, I am

22:36

still virgin Mary who's had these children not

22:38

bisex, right, I

22:41

was just like, there's no way, so forgetting

22:43

that, you're not even remembering that

22:45

your parents were even thinking about coming to the show.

22:46

I didn't even know if they really had gotten tickets or not know

22:48

your.

22:49

Brother was coming.

22:50

And then we had the whole joke about

22:52

me getting the dental work done and me saying

22:55

like, damn, now that my face is swollen, I

22:57

can't even say suck no dick.

23:00

You said that in front of my mother, and I.

23:01

Was like, oh my god, your

23:03

parents are in the crowd. Like I

23:06

literally wanted to just you know, when you had the hole

23:08

in the stage like drops like That's how

23:10

I felt.

23:11

That was as moment.

23:12

That was a classic moment for me.

23:13

But it was funny because in retrospect, looking back on it,

23:15

it was just a funny moment.

23:16

It was another funny moment. Brooklyn.

23:19

Oh, we were in Brooklyn, downtown Brooklyn. This was the first live

23:21

show we did in Brooklyn. He had on the gold dress, the gold

23:23

dress, and he looked like an Oscar.

23:26

And I picked you up like I was accepting the Oscar

23:28

and you were sitting there like this.

23:30

I was like that I put the micropront of it and you were like, I

23:32

like to take.

23:32

My mom That was great. Was

23:34

that was That was great improv. That was stuff that we

23:36

don't That's why we love live shows, man, man.

23:39

Live shows are bomb, all

23:41

right, y'all. So yeah, we're excited. We're

23:43

working. We're about one month

23:45

out from our first stop, which is in Dallas.

23:48

So February thirteenth, we will be in

23:50

Dallas. Shout out to Texas, y'all.

23:52

Weather been looking a little crazy lately too. It's been looking

23:54

very cold out there.

23:55

Oh man.

23:56

So we'll see, we'll see what it looks like when we get down

23:58

there on the thirteenth

24:00

of February and then we have Valentine's Day

24:02

off in between. The fifteenth.

24:06

I am looking so forward to this show. I

24:08

grew up watching the Apollo.

24:10

Yeah, it's a big deal.

24:12

The fact that we are going to be performing

24:14

live in the Apollo is something that I've

24:16

never even dreamed of, never thought

24:19

as a foreseeable thing for us. But it's

24:21

going to be iconic to be in that space.

24:24

So man, New York, please

24:26

show out for us. We're coming back to our hometown,

24:28

our home state, rather and

24:31

we can't wait to be there at the Apollo on the fifteenth.

24:34

Then next day we'll be out in Philly

24:37

on the sixteenth. Philly is also

24:39

nar and Dere again. First show was ever Philly. We

24:41

get so much love down in the DC Maryland

24:44

area. Baltimore drive

24:46

up. That's going to be on the seventeenth.

24:49

The eighteenth is the eighteenth.

24:51

We're back home home, and then we're prepping

24:53

to get to North Carolina.

24:55

Charlotte and I got twenty.

24:56

Second Carolina is my family

24:58

is from Orangeburg, South Caro. Y'all

25:01

better show up and show out, man, Come on

25:03

now, because I fought. I

25:05

fought to get this show in the Calinas.

25:08

Fought for Charlotte for sure.

25:09

Because I'm like, yo, we have to do something close

25:11

by the family. You know. Everyone was telling us, Oh, y'all

25:14

doing Atlanta, they can draw. I said, no, we

25:16

have to do something for the Carolina. So Carolina,

25:18

y'all better show up and show out.

25:19

For you, even our Virginia folks, anybody

25:21

up up on that side of the of the

25:24

Carolinas, come on down and see us on the.

25:26

Twenty second in Charlotte, and then we are

25:28

rounding out.

25:29

This tour with Atlanta,

25:31

Atlanta our new hometown on the

25:33

twenty fourth of February. So we're

25:35

excited to see y'all. We're gonna

25:38

take a quick break, and of course no

25:40

episode will be complete without listener

25:42

letters. So we're gonna show y'all some love and get into that

25:45

after we get into some ads.

25:46

So stick around. We'll be back all

25:56

right, We're back back with listening

25:58

letters. I will dive right in.

26:01

Oh, I'm about to the bed.

26:03

I'm talking about coming to a show. I'm looking

26:06

ahead. Let's see Hi. Deval

26:08

and Kadeen love you and your boys so

26:10

much. Thank you for being a light in this world and allowing

26:12

us into your home and lives.

26:14

You're so welcome.

26:15

I'm going to my first live show in Dallas

26:17

this February twenty twenty four. Got my VP

26:20

ticket front row seat. Baby, you are lit.

26:23

Can't wait to see you all and have a good

26:25

time. It's going to be a good time for sure. I'm

26:27

writing to you all because my

26:30

boyfriend would like me to be more spontaneous,

26:32

spicy in the bedroom and less shy

26:34

and awkward.

26:35

I believe too much.

26:37

I believe I'm too much in my head when we make

26:39

love and trying to perform rather

26:41

than just enjoy when we enter

26:43

the relationship. I was a virgin and he was

26:45

not, so we're still learning what we enjoy in

26:47

the bedroom. We like adventure and are

26:50

always open to learning new positions and

26:52

finding new places to be intimate.

26:53

It excites us a lot.

26:55

Can you give advice on how I can be better

26:58

to feel confident sex see with my man

27:00

and ensure that we don't get bored

27:02

in the bedroom. And how long does it take to find

27:05

a good groove or be in sync with your partner

27:07

in the bedroom?

27:09

All right, I'll let.

27:10

You answer this one. If I want to a woman, I'll

27:12

let you answer this one.

27:13

Girl. I know because I've been there.

27:15

I still be there sometimes about what

27:17

in my mind I think is sexy

27:19

versus what he's going to receive as being

27:21

sexy. And this is twenty two years in the making. Tovow

27:23

has literally been begging me for certain things,

27:26

and I just can't get out of my own head

27:28

about how I can just do it and

27:31

feel confident doing it and not feel

27:33

stupid doing it, thinking that, man,

27:36

this is something that he's really going to enjoy, but

27:38

I also feel confident in delivering.

27:40

So for me, when it comes to

27:42

that, I just have to I mean, first of all,

27:45

I will say Devout does make me feel super comfortable,

27:48

regardless of what phase I am in physically

27:51

or mentally, time of day, time

27:53

a year, whatever it is. He makes me feel comfortable

27:55

and attractive and wanted because.

27:57

You naturally are. Though, like I will, I will

28:00

say this, I don't be lying after

28:03

you've had a baby, Before you had a baby, while you're pregnant,

28:05

I'm still attracted to you. So I think it's important

28:07

that I tell you that so that you don't feel

28:09

like it's tough yeah, because it's not. I'm still

28:12

attracted to you, you know. So I think it's

28:14

important for men to know that when your wife

28:16

is going through all your significant others going through these

28:18

changes, when you feel attracted

28:20

to her, let her know. Right, you don't let her know.

28:23

But sometimes even THO that's not enough. Right, As women,

28:25

we still tend to internalize things and we're

28:27

just like picking at that like roll of fat or picking

28:29

at the moments that we don't feel sexy.

28:32

So my problem that I had to overcome

28:34

and I'm still overcoming, is what

28:37

in my mind constitutes being sexy

28:39

versus just at giving him what he asks for.

28:42

So I would say, talk to your talk to your man, and

28:44

just say, hey, what can I do to

28:46

spice things up? Like you're a little bit more

28:48

experienced than I am. I'm still trying to find my groove

28:50

because you're my first partner, so I'm starting to

28:52

try. She's also trying to figure out what she still likes. Absolutely,

28:55

So I think having the open conversations and saying, hey,

28:57

baby, what can I do to spice things up?

28:59

Do you want me to dressed some kind of way?

29:01

Do you want some role play?

29:02

Should we try spontaneous places,

29:04

and you just have to be willing and open to

29:07

receive that and giving him what he wants.

29:09

And I think that was my problem for a long.

29:10

Time, is I'm trying to curate an experience

29:13

that I think is sexy for him. When he's just

29:15

like, I don't need all that, I need this, give

29:17

me this. And when he's clear and

29:19

he's confident about what he wants, you

29:21

can be confident in delivering that. How do

29:23

you feel, babe, in terms of like getting that groove

29:26

or you know, being in sync in the bedroom.

29:29

I would just say this, when he tells you what

29:31

he likes and what he wants, don't

29:33

try to give him your version of what it is.

29:35

Yeah, that's where I go wrong.

29:37

And that's as all the time. I'll

29:39

say I want one thing, she'll do something else. And then

29:41

when I say, but I ask for this, she'll say,

29:43

but I gave you this, as if I should just accept

29:45

it. It's not fair to your

29:48

partner if they're telling you exactly

29:50

what they like, but you keep telling

29:52

your partner, I hear you, but I'm gonna give you this because

29:54

I know what you need. No, I'm

29:56

telling you what I need. Why are you ignoring

29:59

what I'm telling you to give me what's more convenient

30:01

for you? And I think that's for

30:03

both sides. I don't think that's a man or a woman thing.

30:05

I think that if you have decided that

30:08

you want exclusivity from that

30:10

partner, when that partner tells you that this

30:12

is what they require or want, you then have to make

30:14

a choice if you want to provide that. If

30:16

you don't want to provide that to that person, it's kind

30:19

of unfair for you to ask for exclusivity.

30:21

So since you asking for exclusivity, if this is what

30:23

your partner wants and requires, do your best

30:26

to give it to them as long as it's within

30:29

your alignment for

30:31

what your morals are. Yeah, because if somebody

30:33

asking for too much and you're like, I don't want to do that, all

30:36

that, and then you can say, hey, I'm not trying to do that,

30:38

maybe we're not aligned on this part of our life

30:40

and maybe this is not meant

30:42

for us.

30:43

Do you think it takes a while for people to get into a sexual

30:45

groove? And the reason I ask that is because, like

30:47

I know someone who confided in me about

30:51

feeling like when she initially

30:53

started her journey sexually with someone

30:56

that they weren't on the same page, Like I guess maybe

30:59

they didn't have the right I

31:01

don't know if it was the right cadence or you know,

31:03

maybe her.

31:04

Way was not like his.

31:06

Does it take time for people to develop a

31:08

groove with sex or should you have that

31:10

initially when you have that attraction, Like.

31:13

No, I don't think anything is just this

31:15

works. What I think happens is,

31:18

especially for women, being

31:20

sexual is so taboo and

31:23

women are shamed a lot for being

31:25

sexual. So you spend most of your life

31:27

trying to dim down your sexuality because

31:29

in the workplace you can't be sexual. If

31:32

you're a mom and you're out at school, you

31:34

can't, like there's no place for you to openly

31:36

practice your sexuality. Then you

31:38

get with someone and it's like this person just wants

31:40

you to be this flamboyantly

31:42

sexual being and it's like, I've never practiced

31:44

this, So it takes time. But

31:47

also for men too write men's

31:50

idea of sexuality, it becomes extremely

31:52

perverse because from the time we're young,

31:55

people are telling us you're a man, you have to be able to do

31:57

this. You listen to some older gentlemen who tell

31:59

you right. So it's like women are conditioned

32:01

to not be sexual because it's not ladylike,

32:04

But then men are conditioned to be overly

32:06

sexual. And now you have two people trying

32:09

to be together, and you have one being who's overly

32:11

sexual and another being who's not sexual. Right,

32:13

it takes listening to each other. That's

32:16

why I'm saying I wouldn't even say time because

32:18

if that person's a good listener and this person's a good

32:20

listener, when they get to get right to it. But

32:23

when you have two people who are stubborn, who will say, well,

32:25

I want to be sexual this way. I'm

32:27

not interested in the way you want to be sexual. This is

32:29

what I want, now you have a problem.

32:30

But also to it takes compromise, right, because there's certain

32:32

things that I kind of introduced,

32:35

you know, in our sexual world

32:37

that you were like, all right, i'll give it a try. Absolutely,

32:40

you know, I'll give it a try. It's not something that I would have necessarily

32:42

subscribed to in the beginning, but hey, if it's something

32:44

you want to try, let's do it.

32:46

And it does it or not.

32:48

It does take compromise and grace, but

32:50

it also just takes a willingness to want to be that

32:53

for someone like I just knew personally

32:55

for me, I wanted monogamy

32:57

right, and I wanted to find someone else who wanted

33:00

monogamy. So I also knew as a

33:02

man that if the person I'm choosing

33:05

to ask them to be monogamous with me,

33:07

if they're saying they want to do something, I have to

33:09

be open to that, you know what I'm

33:11

saying, like, I have to be what do you want to try a bad what do

33:13

you want to do? I can't say, well, I only want

33:15

monogamy the way I want it. That's unfair for me,

33:18

you know. And then I feel like it's also unfair

33:20

for a partner to ask that of me. So,

33:23

what you want monogamy and you want me to

33:25

only be with you, but I only can be with you the way

33:27

you want it? Why would anyone subscribe

33:29

to that? So it's not so much

33:32

just compromise, it's a willingness to

33:34

be of service. Yeah, because compromise

33:36

can also be seen as okay, I won't do this. No

33:39

being of service means I will do that

33:41

because that's what you require,

33:44

and I want to be of service, So

33:46

I don't feel like I'm doing anything that I don't

33:48

want to do. I want to be of service or if

33:50

this is what you require, I want to do it right.

33:52

And the two shall meet at some point because

33:54

for me, yes, much like her,

33:57

Sometimes you just get in your own head about

33:59

the way you need to deliver things, and that

34:02

can be intimidating.

34:03

So I get it.

34:04

Have a conversation with him, says, see what he likes,

34:06

you know, see if he's willing to try certain things.

34:09

There may be certain fantasies that you in your mind,

34:11

even though you haven't been as experienced, you

34:13

might say, hey, I like this, this felts a little

34:15

good this time around.

34:16

Let's running back.

34:17

You know, I would say, don't listen to anybody

34:19

else about what you should try. No, ask

34:21

him what he requires and what

34:23

he needs. Provide that while

34:26

also figuring out, because she was a virgin,

34:28

what you need require and tell him

34:31

anybody else telling y'all try this. You don't know

34:33

if y'all gonna like that. But now you introduce

34:36

something to your bedroom that you don't even know if you like

34:38

or he likes. It was a waste of time. Ask

34:40

him what he wants. But then also be like,

34:42

babe, I'll do this. I want to try this. Can we

34:44

do that? Y'all will have fun. She said

34:47

that they're having fun, so I think they'll have fun engaging

34:49

and talking consistently to each other.

34:51

Leave everybody else out

34:53

of this conversation. Don't ask your

34:55

mom, your sister, your male, best

34:58

friend, your brother, don't ask them what they

35:00

do. Learn your body, know

35:02

what you like, and ask your partner what they

35:04

like.

35:04

Period number two.

35:05

Hello Kinne Devout. Recently, a friend of

35:07

mine was promoted to this high level position,

35:09

and she reached out to me about an opportunity to come

35:11

work with her. I've been in management a few

35:14

years now, but at the time I wasn't

35:16

really happy at my previous job, so I felt this

35:18

opportunity came at the right time. It

35:20

was more money, a smaller team to supervise,

35:22

and I was allowed to work from home two days a week. That

35:24

sounds like a plus plus. I felt this

35:26

new position aligned with my professional goals, so I

35:28

accept it without hesitation. I have

35:31

known her for over fifteen years, and I was excited

35:33

about working with her and supporting her in her new role. When

35:35

I first started, everything was going well. However,

35:38

that didn't last long. I started seeing sides of her

35:40

that I had never seen before. She

35:43

became so hot and cold and at

35:45

times wouldn't even speak when she came into

35:47

the office. Now, don't

35:49

get me wrong, I understand she's in a high level position

35:51

and her job can be stressful, but she is becoming

35:54

downright mean and bully like. I am

35:56

not the only one who feels this way, because other

35:58

managers would come to me about

36:00

her behavior towards them. After word, she acts

36:02

as if nothing happened, and I'm left feeling

36:04

perplexed. I just listened to the episode

36:06

when you all discuss why you start

36:09

a Patreon. You all talked about

36:11

hiring people you trust and how you don't

36:13

work with them. You don't work with just any

36:15

brand. My question to you

36:17

is how do you know when to choose the right job

36:20

role for you? Also, how do you manage hiring

36:22

your friends for instance Devo? How do

36:24

you know which acting roles are

36:26

best for you? And Kay, I'm sure you get hundreds

36:28

of requests of host speaking engagements. What

36:31

do you look for in order to say yes

36:33

or no? Deep Down, I felt like this

36:35

was the right position for me, and now I feel like I've

36:37

made a huge mistake. I also

36:39

feel like this working relationship will now cause

36:42

tension between my boss Nope, who

36:44

just so happens to be my friend.

36:47

I want to talk to her about it, but I don't

36:49

know how to address her antics professionally

36:51

and from a friend's perspective. I

36:54

could be wrong, but I think this new role has gone

36:56

to her head a little.

36:58

That's why this thing you don't make it's business and

37:00

pleasure.

37:01

People need to understand that there is a difference

37:03

between a friendship and

37:06

a business relationship. She's

37:09

hiring you because

37:11

you guys are friend She is not going

37:14

to be your friend when you guys are

37:16

at work. And if you're expecting

37:18

her to be your friend while at work,

37:21

it may come across as bullying

37:23

if she's being cold because

37:26

at work she has to maintain a certain standard

37:29

to make sure that everyone around her gets her

37:31

job done. No one likes the person

37:33

in charge. I'll tell you this right now.

37:36

When I have to be in charge of my friends or

37:38

my family, they all hate me, all

37:40

of them, including my wife, including

37:43

my wife. You know why, because there is a

37:45

standard and there's accountability that is

37:47

expected by the person who's in charge,

37:49

and when shit goes wrong, all of those people

37:51

then look to who you. So

37:54

since y'all are going to look to me with that

37:56

responsibility, I'm going to carry

37:58

that responsibility with everything I do

38:00

while at work, which means if you're not

38:02

getting something done, I have to tell you. And

38:05

I'm not going to sit you down and be like, hey, you're my friend. No,

38:07

I'm gonna be like, yo, wasn't supposed to get done. It didn't

38:10

get done. It needs to get done. A lot of times

38:12

when people go to work with their friends, they think it's going to be all

38:14

chummy, and so that person has to hold

38:16

you accountable and now no one

38:18

likes the person no more.

38:19

But I think there should also be a level of respect.

38:22

And for me, I know, if I'm working in an

38:24

environment where my friend hires me

38:26

for something, nothing's

38:29

going to stop me from delivering the

38:31

best version of whatever

38:33

it is that they need because I would

38:35

be so invested in whatever my

38:38

friend.

38:38

Needs in that position, because you want her to.

38:40

Be It's like, yeah, it's like a responsibility that

38:42

I feel like you should have if you are working

38:44

with a friend on something, to say, you know what, I

38:47

could let a stranger down potentially, But I'm not gonna

38:49

let my friend down in this business.

38:51

Everybody don't think like that. I would hope that, but

38:53

no, everybody don't. You know how a lot of people think

38:56

my friend got me this job. I'm about to be

38:58

at work. I don't got to come on time. If

39:00

I'm a little bit late. My friend got

39:02

me. Oh this report was due with this time.

39:04

I'll hand it in this time. My friend got me. That's

39:07

how a lot of people do their friends when their friends put

39:09

them on, and then when their friends fired them. Oh

39:11

she changed, she acting different like I was only

39:13

a five minutes late. Ten times I've

39:16

dealt with that. Remember at the gym, hiring my

39:18

friends. At times, I'm like, yo, Like I remember

39:20

the session started at three o'clock.

39:23

Val was only three oh three. We require

39:25

the parents and the kids to be here fifteen minutes

39:27

early. You think it's okay for you to be three minutes late.

39:30

It's only three minutes. Cool.

39:33

Now you have no more group sessions. De

39:35

Val took my money away. He power

39:37

tripping. I've heard that. I've heard

39:39

that this very thing. I've heard that when I was running

39:41

my business.

39:42

Yeah, you're absolutely about that.

39:44

It's hard that she asked, how

39:47

do you hire your friends? You use discernment

39:49

and you say, you know what, I've watched this person over years,

39:52

and I understand that this person has a certain work ethic,

39:54

and I think that that work ethic is in alignment

39:56

with mine. That's how I hire friends.

39:58

And as you're younger and growing, you learn.

40:01

Who can be weeded out of that process.

40:03

Right now, I know for sure, although I

40:06

have, for example, say a group of five friends,

40:09

there's probably two who I would hire and

40:12

for no other reason that I know that there are effective

40:14

in whatever roles that they've been in over

40:16

the course of years.

40:18

So these are people who have had.

40:19

Track records that I've seen them in their own jobs

40:22

that I can say, along with the fact that we have a friendship

40:24

and y'all will be invested in my product or my company

40:26

or whatever it is, I've seen the track

40:28

record of how you were able to exist.

40:30

And that's probably what your friends saw in you, which

40:33

is the reason why she hired you. But now

40:35

I feel like it is worth you kind

40:37

of assessing, Okay, what I'm

40:39

feeling right now from my friend this bullying

40:42

in a sense? Is it because she's

40:44

just stressed in her role or is she really

40:47

going out of her way to be like that because

40:49

she's trying to flex deciding

40:52

which one it is.

40:53

I will say this too, Women

40:55

get an unfair rap when they get

40:57

hired to a new position. Clearly this one

41:00

worked her ass off to be able to be put

41:02

in that higher position, because they don't give higher

41:04

positions to women for no reason,

41:07

right, So clearly this woman has worked her ass

41:09

off. You know what I've noticed though from a lot of

41:11

women, and I've learned this from your mom and my aunt

41:14

and my mom.

41:16

Everybody's cool with you when we at the same level.

41:19

One person gets promoted. Now everybody

41:21

at that level hates that person. She said,

41:24

people are coming to her to talk about

41:26

her friend. Don't do that.

41:29

You don't know what type of jealousy is coming with them.

41:31

Conversations. You don't know what like the

41:33

first thing you do when someone comes to talk to you about

41:35

a higher with someone else, excuse me, excuse me.

41:38

If you have an issue with that person, you should take that with

41:40

hr. I'm not the person, because what

41:42

happened is that person will then use that conversation

41:44

like ahah soon Show said the same thing too. Women

41:47

give each other the hardest time when it comes

41:50

to moving up, especially in corporate.

41:51

America, is fact.

41:53

And I don't want this young lady to look at her friend

41:55

and then listen to the other people around who are also

41:57

saying she's being a bully. No,

42:00

maybe she's just being a woman who's holding people

42:02

accountable. And the fact that she's a woman is making

42:04

other people pissed off. Oh yeah, you

42:06

know what I'm saying. Your mom went through that. My

42:08

mom went through that, My aunt Monique went through that. I

42:10

watched it all the time.

42:11

That's a fact. People hating my

42:13

mom and her job.

42:14

Yes, and your mom had three

42:17

straight deficiency free surveys, which never

42:19

happens. She had one every year for

42:21

three years in a row. And allman people gets I can stand

42:23

shure why because she gets shited done

42:26

and because she won't let you come to work late and she

42:28

holds you accountable. Oh, she's a bitch now

42:30

because she's doing all the things that when

42:32

that white man was telling you to do what you had no problem

42:34

doing it. Now you have a woman of color telling

42:37

you the same thing, and now she acting like a bitch. This

42:39

really be happening in a corporate America college.

42:41

So does.

42:41

And then who's responsible when everything

42:44

is gone to shit? Her the

42:46

boss, yes, And who's going to have to answer

42:48

to the bigger bosses her the boss?

42:51

So yeah, give her a little grace here, sis,

42:53

And if you value the friendship that much, know

42:56

how to have the discernment to decipher what's what.

43:00

All right. I

43:04

think we covered everything in this listener letter,

43:06

right.

43:06

Yeah, she didn't ask about how I

43:08

know which acting roles are for you and which speaking

43:10

engagements. Usually I work with brands,

43:13

and I partner with people who align and synergies

43:15

match with turn like something that I believe in or

43:17

something that I'm passionate about.

43:18

That's when I.

43:19

Normally take those speaking engagements

43:21

and roles and stuff like that has to be something

43:23

that I'm passionate about.

43:25

For me as an actor, I take roles

43:28

that are in alignment with my belief system.

43:30

I take roles that tell stories that I

43:32

can stand behind and say, you know what, I'm comfortable

43:35

telling this story because I agree

43:38

with the message. I've been blessed

43:40

that I own businesses, so I don't

43:42

act for money. It's difficult

43:44

to be an artist and to do anything for money,

43:46

because then when the roles come around and you have to

43:48

pay your rent or you have to pay your mortgage,

43:51

and you may not agree with that role, but you have to take

43:53

it to pay it. That happens to people at times.

43:56

I've just decided that I wanted to build my

43:58

own revenue streams outside of my art so

44:00

that I can say yeah or nate to whatever

44:02

projects and then I don't have.

44:03

To be inmate number one

44:05

again, right right.

44:07

You know, you know, because sometimes get tired away

44:09

in an orange suit. You know, I get tired of cursing

44:11

people out and being a thug bad guy, because

44:13

that's not the only version of a black

44:15

man. I want to be seen. As we talked

44:17

about early in this in

44:19

this podcast or maybe it was another podcast, but watching

44:22

everything through the male gaze, right,

44:24

it's also watching everything through

44:26

a European gaze. Right. When we

44:28

see things, we see things through the

44:31

idea of that's what everyone

44:33

believes is the truth, and that's not always

44:35

the truth. So I look

44:37

at projects, I look at scripts, and I say, what is this story

44:40

about? What is this character trying to say?

44:42

And if I agree with the message,

44:45

then I'm with it. If the message challenges

44:48

me from my own thought and makes me

44:50

think or rethink what I'm

44:53

what my belief system is. I will

44:55

then do research to say do I am I comfortable

44:57

doing this? For example, Zach

45:00

MHM, Zach is an x con.

45:03

I got tired of playing the bad

45:06

boy x con thug with

45:08

the tattoos. But then I asked, and

45:10

TP said, where do you want to see Zach go? I said,

45:12

I want to see him. I wanted to be a redemption story.

45:16

I want to be able to talk about recidivism going

45:18

in and out of prison.

45:19

And because that's someone's story, people

45:21

really exactly people can relate to

45:23

that.

45:24

So I didn't want to amplify

45:27

or glorify him being an ex con,

45:29

but I wanted to be able to tell the story about

45:32

how what an x con goes through and

45:34

how they can build themselves up. So, just

45:36

for example, Zach was that guy, you know, and

45:38

I chose to do that, even though I didn't want to do any

45:40

more criminals, it made sense for me.

45:43

In that moment.

45:44

You were able to really show a evolutions

45:47

Zach, you know, trying to be better, absolutely

45:49

trying to be better. All right,

45:52

to y'all, if you want to be featured

45:54

as a listener letter. Be sure to email

45:56

us at Deadass Advice at gmail

45:59

dot com.

45:59

That's the E A D A S S A

46:01

D V I C E at gmail

46:04

dot com.

46:05

Moment of truth time, we're talking about preparing

46:07

for the tour dead Ass

46:09

Podcast Live coming up this February

46:12

twenty twenty four.

46:13

Do you have a moment of truth for us?

46:14

Yes? What's that This live show

46:16

will be something that you have never seen before. You

46:19

will get to see us do things

46:21

and create an experience that people will walk

46:23

away with being happy

46:25

and motivated and smiling and

46:28

laughing and loving their

46:30

significant others when they leave that theater.

46:32

That's just moments.

46:35

Did I hypen this stuff up so much for y'all? Man?

46:37

I hope it lives up to right. Why what

46:40

it's been saying?

46:40

Why?

46:41

Because I'm lowki scared as hell. That's my moment

46:43

of truth.

46:44

I get nervous before every show,

46:46

and then once I hit the stage, I'm fine because you all

46:48

do a great job of making me feel so warm and

46:51

so loved and everything. But I never

46:53

take for granted the support

46:55

that y'all give us. I never take

46:57

for granted the fact that y'all use your time,

47:00

you spend your money to really support

47:02

us, so that in itself is enough for me

47:04

to work hard to continue to

47:07

make sure that this show, regardless

47:09

of what city you're in, is worth

47:11

it. So we love y'all, We thank you.

47:13

If you haven't purchased your tickets yet, be

47:16

sure to go to is it deadass dot

47:18

com?

47:18

Yes?

47:19

Podcast that yeah, And then if you

47:21

can go there and you can find links for all

47:23

of the shows, you get the rundown

47:26

for the dates, the venues and all that good stuff.

47:28

And be sure to grab your copy of We Over

47:30

Me. Don't forget about that.

47:34

All of my stuff.

47:35

Oh sorry, I didn't even get to the paper.

47:38

Every time. She she just be reading the whole thing.

47:41

Go ahead.

47:43

It was the moment of truth that kind of spiraled into that because

47:45

it just felt natural. But you can, you can, you can bring

47:47

up the rear. Be sure to follow us on Patreon.

47:49

You you know that

47:51

you should have.

47:52

Known that was hoping that we could laze

47:54

over that, and you just.

47:56

Got some stuff you can glaze over to, and

47:58

then I could pull up the rear. You

48:00

feel me. Look, she's stuck. She don't even

48:03

know what to say. This is what I've been doing, She's stuck. Be sure to find

48:05

us on Patreon see exclusive Deadass

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48:14

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