0:00

Changed. So the Brely today,

0:02

like, there's a new trajectory for me

0:04

that's happening right now, live and

0:06

in person, y'all take a pitch Mhmm. Because this is

0:08

what I look like, single, but it ain't gonna be for

0:10

long. Talking about cell phones out.

0:12

Talking about Because yeah.

0:15

Like, different energy

0:17

is showing up, but I know it's

0:20

because I changed. Yeah.

0:22

So so you know that. I'm I'm

0:24

one hundred percent. Okay. So when we look

0:26

back, you were married before. Right? I

0:29

said I I said yes to someone.

0:33

I had said yes or something. Brandon, why would you say

0:35

you don't call that being mad? Well,

0:39

I never imagined my public healing

0:42

would inspire others to heal across the

0:44

world. I think if I're using him,

0:47

to reach the world with

0:49

the message of hope and

0:51

relationships. But your life

0:53

does not. God. You are my

0:55

publicist. We

0:57

laugh. We share

1:00

the unadulterated truth. He

1:02

said, not only have I not divorced you,

1:04

I ain't exposed you. Oh. We

1:07

didn't marry fans. We married forever. And

1:10

we wanted forever to act like a fan. feel

1:12

her Jesus. I will not

1:14

compromise. Mhmm. I'm getting

1:16

a woman

1:17

guy. You don't have to. And father,

1:19

I declare for his future

1:21

wifey. Thank you

1:23

for preserving her.

1:25

This season, I declare miracles

1:27

and manifestation. Did you sell it scripts.

1:30

And you're unique. You ain't like nobody else. I

1:32

I noticed that right away. You being

1:34

true to who you are, you're gonna attract.

1:38

It's a Hebrew word, Haile, and it was

1:40

translated well that it means

1:41

people, it means men, it

1:43

means resources, and it means means.

1:46

I'm the Wifey and this

1:48

is the Deer Future Wifey podcast. Welcome

1:52

to the Deer Future Wifi podcast. I'm your host

1:54

of terrorists are with Phil. Listen. Are

1:56

you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking

1:59

up with us, come on. Can we get a commitment? Hit

2:01

that subscription button and subscribe. Make

2:03

sure you turn on your notification Brely.

2:05

you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.

2:07

Listen to season six. Oh, man, we've been

2:10

rocking. God has affectionately

2:12

named this season miracles

2:14

and manifestations and god has been doing exactly

2:17

that. And so I've

2:20

been fast and I've been praying to get this guest

2:22

in the podcast. She's been riding. Yeah.

2:25

She's a running. She's a track star. So

2:28

that's just what it is. And so after about

2:30

a year in that half. Well, two years.

2:32

So two years of tracking her down, she finally

2:34

I mean, it was sounds where she was supposed to

2:37

do the episode that day why she was

2:39

in town and just, you

2:40

know, some happened and she couldn't do it. And

2:42

then I was gonna come and then the weather Wait. Sorry

2:44

to introduce you. You

2:46

know what? I'll get up. When king

2:49

speak. Queen's

2:51

fishing. So without further ado, welcome to

2:53

the future wave of podcast, bye, homie.

2:55

Bye the end. What's that?

2:57

Yeah. I wanna give you an offensive point of

2:59

giving a a offensive introduction. Well,

3:01

thank

3:01

you. appreciate the offensive. We ain't a offensive. We

3:03

you know? No way back.

3:04

Yeah. But what we gotta talk about so, Brandy, why

3:07

have you been avoiding doing this episode? Wasn't

3:09

avoiding this episode? No.

3:11

No. No.

3:12

You but why don't you tell me no then? Well,

3:14

because You have my yes.

3:16

But God has your number. But God has a timing

3:19

for a thing. You can't mess with his

3:21

timing. His timing is, I don't know. You

3:23

know? I don't create the

3:25

time. He says the time. Like, the weather

3:27

wouldn't let

3:27

me. Come on. Last

3:28

month, but I'm talking about about six months ago.

3:31

The timing -- Again. -- you

3:33

right here in Dallas? I mean. You were supposed

3:35

to be

3:36

caught up by Saturday. You

3:36

know what had to happen? You had to come get me.

3:39

Explain to the people what they what you mean, but I had

3:42

to come get you. Well, I said, and you want me

3:44

to come on this podcast, you need to fly to LA

3:46

or Atlanta wherever I am. Get on the

3:48

plane with me and come and did you do that this

3:50

morning? By default, what happened was

3:53

you had me come do your When Kings

3:55

speak event and

3:58

and then I stayed there to do some other

4:00

people's podcast or whatnot. then what did you do this

4:02

morning? Back to what I just say? We flew

4:05

from Atlanta to Dallas. You came and

4:07

got

4:07

me. On the same

4:07

plane. There you go. You

4:10

came and got me.

4:11

And now I'm here. She's talking about you got to come

4:13

get me and be a general. I said,

4:15

who's gonna come fly? And I

4:16

said, I'm not gonna go fly and come get you and

4:18

then you will lie about it.

4:20

The standard. Come on. What's that? So

4:22

What is your standard?

4:23

So it's a standard. So on a

4:25

on a platonic level If that's what

4:27

I need it. Then you should say, you know what's

4:29

this? I got you. If it's gonna be you know

4:31

what I'm

4:32

saying? Fly

4:32

to another city to bring to bring like

4:35

it did. Mhmm. You see you see how Jesus

4:37

has made that thing happen. You gotta be careful around

4:39

me because what I say, this is the miracles

4:41

of manifestation. Yeah. I'm a miracle of

4:43

manifestation sitting right here. Oh,

4:45

no. I'm a little nerd. Okay. I'm good. You

4:46

got to make sure my wind tight is

4:49

homeboy back there. haven't seen

4:51

I was, you know, this yellow

4:53

couch. I was I had to come get on my

4:55

knees y'all. You come here.

4:57

Pray Pray before. Pray before.

4:59

Pray before he has Pray. Okay. I'll put one

5:02

in first. Be like, my number you

5:04

know, SIM block's blessings, so I didn't know what you've been

5:06

doing. So I was like, let me breathe first

5:08

because yeah. Brely.

5:11

So I asked you what we should call this

5:13

episode and we said we're just gonna

5:15

rock with it. We're gonna find out

5:17

Yeah. -- what what we talk about. And

5:19

and then we'll come up with the title afterwards.

5:22

I I think so.

5:23

Okay. So who is Bradley

5:25

Evans? Who is Bradley Evans?

5:28

I mean, Bradley

5:31

Evans, she is a a wow.

5:35

She's a wow. She's a wow. walking on

5:37

walks. Oh, you

5:38

better. Come on somebody. How do you

5:40

say I know you? She's a walking. Like,

5:42

is a while. I mean, I am

5:46

I think I'm here. My purpose is

5:48

to free people. Freedom

5:51

out of bondage of nine to five jobs

5:54

to live out loud as a curvy girl.

5:58

To be unapologetically myself,

6:00

and that helps free other people. So I'm just

6:03

here. I am the freer.

6:05

Is that is that a word? Is that an adjective? We can

6:07

make it. Well, there it is. There it is. Yeah. That's

6:09

what I will call myself. Where

6:11

would people recognize you

6:12

from? They they

6:13

may see you in black. She looks so familiar. Who

6:15

is it? Who is it? Y'all know y'all saw these hips

6:17

on ambitions

6:20

on our own mind. Hell, my

6:23

soul. Give me the give me the network.

6:25

Jesus. I'm bringing back.

6:26

Bring back. Okay, man.

6:27

Mirrors and manifestations. There's a manifestations.

6:29

There's a bed ambitions. Family

6:32

business. I

6:35

mean, cold and windy. Okay.

6:39

The Christmas movie

6:40

yeah. I can't buy Christmas --

6:42

Yeah. -- being Mary Jane for those of you go back

6:44

to the beginning of my career. I love it.

6:46

Yeah. I have over eighty

6:48

shows, so those are the ones that you

6:50

guys probably know the most. Yeah. I've

6:52

been here. And so

6:54

you were telling me earlier today,

6:57

of

6:57

how, like, you sat down and

6:59

you literally you untapped with the brown.

7:01

Y'all actually

7:02

manifested this career that y'all

7:04

both had. When I said, so we met in

7:06

acting class. And we

7:09

were putting a scene together to work on

7:11

a scene, and we felt and we were like, oh, you might oh,

7:13

we family. Yeah. And so we used to have these

7:15

Sunday family dinners, and

7:18

we used to sit on the couch and talk

7:20

about one day we gonna be so busy.

7:22

We don't need to see each other. Now we'd be like, We'll

7:26

see each other. We'll see each So we

7:28

knew that these days were coming in here

7:30

they

7:30

are. Yeah. So So how

7:33

do you feel? How does Brinkley feel right

7:35

now in twenty twenty three? When you look

7:37

at your life,

7:39

your career, you look at your love

7:41

Wifey, how do you feel? When I look at my

7:43

career, I'm so

7:45

astonished in, like, Is

7:47

this really

7:48

me? Like, I'm really on TV. Like, I get up and

7:50

do this every, like, the

7:51

the I'm really an actress. Like, when people

7:53

when I'm walking outside, it's almost like, I'm

7:56

like, people -- People know why. --

7:58

names. So I'm still

8:00

surprised every day. I'm still a fan

8:02

of the craft. I'm still in

8:05

awe of this whole thing. It doesn't

8:07

make any sense, to be honest.

8:11

Love Laura,

8:13

what we're doing? Because I don't now that I don't

8:15

get. Now I am the master

8:18

manifestor when it comes to being

8:20

on TV --

8:21

Yeah. -- I can help people. Like I said, I am

8:23

my mom nonprofit organization has called

8:25

from nine to five to wow. So I'm helping

8:27

people come on, get out of there, get out the boat

8:29

on your hopes and your dreams. I'm about to

8:31

preach you down and do all the things. But

8:34

soon as love comes into this thing, I'll be like,

8:36

no. No. No. No. What did I need to do?

8:39

So yeah. I I feel I'm not

8:41

as you know, my

8:43

strength is not as, you know,

8:45

strong in the love department for some reason.

8:48

No. No. We say for some reason, when

8:50

you reverse engineer this thing,

8:52

what do you think is the main problem? Do you

8:54

feel like just is it one of those things you

8:56

say men aren't showing up? As a

8:58

lot of women I was complaining about

9:00

is men? Viable, you

9:03

know, candidates aren't stepping up to

9:05

the table or what?

9:06

Well, I can't say that any longer.

9:08

Yeah. Yeah. Because the candidates then got

9:10

a little bit better than changing a little bit in your life,

9:13

mom. Yeah. The candidates, I'm like, What?

9:16

You're a who? You do what? Okay,

9:19

God. I see you. Awesome. So I

9:21

I really think that I've changed. So

9:24

the Brely today, like, there's new

9:26

trajectory for me that's happening

9:28

right now, live and in person, y'all take a pitch

9:31

Mhmm. Because this is what I look like, single, but it ain't

9:33

gonna be prolonged.

9:34

Talking about cell phones out. Talking about

9:37

Because yeah. Like, different

9:40

energy is showing

9:41

up, but I know it's because

9:43

I changed. Yeah.

9:45

So so you know that. I'm I'm

9:47

one hundred percent. Okay. So when we look

9:49

back, you were married before. Right? I

9:52

said, I I said, yes to someone.

9:56

I had said yes or something. Brandon, why would you say

9:58

you don't call that being married?

10:00

Well, I

10:03

mean?

10:04

You said yes to them in what fashion?

10:06

I said yes. When somebody asked me a question, I

10:08

said yes.

10:08

What question to ask you, Brandon? Well, they said

10:11

you know, will you do a whole bunch of these things?

10:13

And I said yes. So when

10:15

I said yes, I met what I said.

10:17

But what that I was supposed to get on

10:19

the other hand. I don't think I had one

10:21

of those

10:22

things. Said,

10:22

yes. When they asked you, would you do AAA bunch of

10:24

these things? Yeah. They were like, will you have and

10:26

hold and honor and do all those things that

10:28

I said, guess. So the man I said

10:30

yes to. There was a man that I had said yes to

10:33

one time. And then and

10:35

then You said no

10:37

to You said you you guys turned to a

10:39

no? Well, I turned to an a no mint.

10:41

So I don't know they said that don't

10:43

count. A no mint doesn't count.

10:46

That's what they said. So how

10:48

long y'all married?

10:48

They were married a half.

10:50

Married a year and a half. Yeah. So what made

10:52

you married? How did you meet this this individual?

10:54

We were introduced, and I think it's the

10:56

best thing to be introduced.

10:58

How do they do that? Right. My

11:00

PR person at the time said,

11:03

I know someone. And I was

11:05

like, how tall is he? You

11:07

know, where he worked? I was like, I just knew it was

11:09

gonna be a bus. She was like, no. You're gonna be pull you're

11:11

not gonna be pleasantly surprised. He's amazing.

11:14

She didn't she thought he didn't have any children. You

11:16

know? So I was like, okay. You know, I'm

11:18

big. I'm almost some babies and all that.

11:20

So she showed me a picture that said.

11:23

What? What about the line? Because he

11:26

bought his curly and cute and

11:28

fine. It was and tall

11:30

and all the things I have got for.

11:33

And she said he he told her

11:36

if this girl loves the Lord,

11:38

I'm gonna marry her. I

11:40

could've got married that

11:41

day. When she told me he said,

11:44

he was a boy. Yeah.

11:46

Baby, I was like, bark like a dog.

11:50

Big dog. Up on one leg.

11:52

Baby, hop on one leg. What you want me to

11:54

do? So that's what happened.

11:56

We got introduced by my PR at the

11:58

time. And she had raving reviews

12:00

and people around who knew him

12:03

also gave some raving reviews

12:05

of this

12:05

guy. And so I was

12:07

sold to the man in gold.

12:09

So yeah. So

12:12

he had a good, you know He had a good

12:15

Repensation. Yeah. Repensation. Most certainly

12:17

did. And how long y'all date?

12:19

For for a year. It was, like, a year

12:21

and then, like, I've heard and

12:24

I I come from the school of

12:26

be engaged or in

12:28

love with or like with someone as long as

12:30

it take to plan the marriage to plan the wedding. Yeah.

12:32

Because, I mean, I can't lie. You know, we was

12:36

we're trying to get married

12:37

tomorrow. Okay. We got some things

12:40

new. So Bandwidth.

12:41

Bandwidth things I have to

12:43

do. Baby. Come on now.

12:45

Use your imagination.

12:46

Well, no. Were you were you planning on just waiting for

12:48

mares to have sex? I really wanted to do

12:50

that. That that that was the thing. And so

12:52

we need to get mad, get down head on out,

12:54

and oh, wow. We need to get down head on pretty quickly.

12:57

No. It wasn't really to me. It was that. But

12:59

it was also It was it was good, but

13:01

I come from a

13:03

two parent home. My mom and

13:06

my dad are still together today and

13:08

I know always it hasn't been easy.

13:10

And my father has expressed, we

13:13

do this, you know, it's we do this because

13:15

of you, but this is our standard

13:18

for you. So I

13:20

have not had any children out of wedlock because

13:22

it's my personal standard. Right. You know,

13:24

I've seen some of my family members struggle

13:26

in that area and they didn't make it look pretty.

13:28

So I wasn't running out to go

13:31

do the same thing and, you know, although

13:33

I may have had opportunity, I still was

13:35

like, not dog. Yeah. You know,

13:37

you don't you see a burning house. You ain't running in

13:39

it. You know, I'm I just couldn't and then

13:41

I just felt like it would be a slap in god's

13:43

face to me. That if I say,

13:45

I'm a do this and I'm a need you to help me take

13:48

care. just couldn't I you know? Yeah.

13:50

I just personally couldn't do it. So

13:52

I really want to be married and do things

13:55

that way. I'm the same girl who's going to

13:57

Catholic school, who then went to performing

13:59

arts. High school, who then went

14:01

to college, who then graduated, who

14:04

then, you know, got her first record

14:06

deal, who then left

14:08

the record industry and then, you

14:10

know, was on every TV show. I have

14:13

done things right in an order in

14:15

my professional life. Yeah. But

14:17

be there. This love thing.

14:19

Where are where are the classes at? Where

14:22

are they teaching these men and women how to

14:24

date? What are they doing at? So Yeah.

14:27

So that's kind of you know what I'm saying? So that kinda

14:29

tells you my background answer. Wifey was

14:31

like, we ain't about to sitting around here engaged

14:33

for

14:33

us. Yeah. Bidding her lemons. Yeah.

14:36

You know? Well, I agree to I mean, I agree

14:38

with the same thing. I don't believe it takes a long time.

14:40

No. And especially when you get

14:42

to a certain age. You know what you desire.

14:45

You know what you want. You've dated people. And

14:47

you're just like, I'm I'm I'm through with all the nonsense.

14:49

I'm not gonna be dating you for two years and then

14:51

decide whether or not we're gonna get married and then you start

14:53

the whole cycle over

14:54

again. And

14:55

can I tell you this? I knew

14:57

that I wanted to marry him after

14:59

one of our arguments.

15:01

That's good. But I was like,

15:04

he doesn't make me wanna get up and beat the hell

15:06

out of him. Because

15:08

I'm from Oakland. And she got,

15:10

you know, that thing. My day told me the

15:12

bigger day on a hundred feet

15:13

tall. So I'm like, I'm hard

15:16

to fight.

15:16

You had to fight. But he we were doing a little

15:18

thing, and I said, my heart isn't

15:20

racing, and I can

15:22

really I can think. We

15:24

can I can say when you're done, we can talk

15:26

about it? Then

15:29

later on, I found out, she were like,

15:31

that meant you had grown. That didn't

15:33

mean he was the one. I was like, oh, man. I

15:35

wish somebody told me that. Not that I'm

15:37

serious. I was so it was

15:39

because of that because someone told me before you

15:41

marry. You see a man in all

15:43

sense. Right? Yes.

15:45

Mad, happy, sad, you know, excited

15:47

and see all of it. Right? And when

15:49

I

15:49

got to the artist Anger part,

15:51

and I didn't, like, get up and, like, square

15:54

up on it, I was like, oh, he

15:56

brings the

15:56

feminine. You know what I'm saying? Oh, my feminine

15:59

Wifey I'm here.

16:00

That's good. This is the one. So I just knew.

16:02

And I really asked God. How

16:04

about this? How about when you asked God?

16:06

And I mean, asked God. We went to premarital

16:09

counseling and the our pastor,

16:11

it was his pastor. Which is our was

16:14

our pastor of God, said well,

16:16

I need y'all to fast and pray seriously. And

16:18

so we did. And I was like, God,

16:20

you got to show me, like, I want them kids

16:23

that need to break. Yeah. You know them kids?

16:25

Yeah. And so things were showing

16:27

up. Can I just tell you this? I

16:30

got it was time

16:32

to, you know, get birth certificates out and do

16:34

all that stuff. Well, utilize

16:35

them. In in a child, I found out

16:38

his name went even his name.

16:40

Brely, what are you talking about? His

16:43

name that I call him was not the

16:45

name on the paper. And I said, wait

16:47

a minute. But the cool part about it, what

16:49

what gave me solace was the

16:51

name on the paper was, like,

16:55

so close to my father's name. It

16:57

was it was, like, my dad's first name is

16:59

Karl. So we'd had Karl in the name

17:01

and then the middle name was the exact same

17:04

Frederick, and then the last name

17:06

started with an e. So my you

17:08

know -- Yeah. -- I was like, And so I took

17:10

a picture of it sitting to my mom. And my

17:12

mom said, what you doing with your daddy? Birth certificate.

17:14

And I said, exactly. That's

17:17

years later. Mom's in love,

17:19

Jesus. I said, yeah, his mom changed his

17:21

name to what it is, like, you know,

17:23

a couple years later. So

17:25

I felt like this is my guy

17:28

because I'm a Daddy's girl. I look y'all

17:30

look y'all daddies. What a Daddy's girl's name?

17:32

I love my dad. So I was like, But

17:35

y'all have a name so simple. This

17:37

is God -- Crazy. -- signs saying move

17:39

forward. And although I do

17:41

believe God told me to do this, I

17:43

I really fasted. I really prayed. I

17:46

was really serious about this and

17:49

the lesson. God

17:52

may tell us to do some things, but

17:55

it don't mean it's don't turn out the way we think.

17:57

Facts. Because I believe that experience

18:02

is birthing some things that are bigger

18:05

than me. Yeah. And so if I had

18:07

to do it again, I don't want to. But

18:10

I trust God so much that

18:13

I believe he sent me on this path

18:15

to again set some people free. And

18:18

he knows he can trust me with

18:20

a not so not

18:22

so good feeling situation He

18:25

knew I'm a keep a smile on my face. He knew

18:27

I'm a show

18:27

up. He knew I'm a be loud about it.

18:30

And now is the time?

18:33

So you look back at that situation. You feel

18:35

like and you feel like it was ordained

18:37

by God. I have to believe it.

18:41

I have to believe I literally asked. I did.

18:43

Now were there girlfriend saying? Mm-mm. Actually,

18:49

the after so when the pastor gave

18:51

us the thumbs up because you know what? We did the eight weeks

18:53

thing. And I mean, we did all of that. The

18:56

pastor said, okay. You know, yes,

18:58

we're moving forward with this. I got

19:00

call from pastor's wife. He's

19:04

Brely, young lady. I know what

19:07

my husband said, but he not ready.

19:09

I would hit a bass. I I would my

19:11

shepherd said, my

19:15

side is twenty twenty. Did

19:19

she just say that or did she point out some

19:21

key things? Maybe she called me on the phone and

19:23

said, some young lady. She didn't

19:25

point out anything. I See,

19:27

I didn't need people to tell me what it is.

19:29

But I think I knew. But

19:32

I was committed to listening to the pastor.

19:34

I know what I want it. I really wanted to

19:37

be married. And First

19:39

of all, I had never dated a guy who had

19:41

his own church home. Sorry,

19:45

I just didn't attract those at time, I guess. I don't

19:47

know. All I know is when that brother

19:49

said, let's go to my church this Sunday.

19:51

And he said, you got church? You mean you? But

19:54

what? Honey, I pulled out Sunday's best,

19:56

baby. I was like, let go. We

19:58

pull up to the church. We walk in,

20:01

and the church is a small church. The

20:03

pastor's already pooped it with a little late.

20:05

And he goes, oh, he brought a

20:07

girl to church. I'm looking like I'm on

20:09

TV, man. The whole church's looking bad.

20:12

was like, father God. So

20:15

I was just I've never had that experience.

20:17

Your pastor know your name. Oh,

20:19

oh, you in here in here? You don't just go

20:21

to church. Yeah. But they know you.

20:23

I was I was smitten. I was like,

20:26

this is good. It makes sense

20:27

though. I mean, all that makes sense that that

20:29

would be something that's cosigning. Yeah.

20:33

A part of it? Yeah.

20:35

Have absolutely. And so when the first

20:37

lady said when she said you just felt like

20:40

what? I just felt like III

20:43

tried I couldn't even consider it because I feel

20:45

like her husband was the

20:46

authority.

20:46

But you said but you you saw some things too.

20:49

I mean, hindsight,

20:50

Oh, okay. But at some point, you said that you I

20:52

mean, a lot of things go. And here here's

20:54

where I believe it's

20:58

important for me to be on this couch. I

21:00

believe it's important for me to remind

21:03

because I think we we know a lot of

21:06

these these things. When you see a

21:08

magenta flag. I

21:10

know what they read. Oh,

21:12

but baby when it's magenta. Wennis

21:15

pink. When

21:17

it's off white.

21:23

It's a no. My act yeah.

21:26

Because I saw some things, but I figured

21:28

everyone needs an opportunity to grow.

21:30

Right. You know, you

21:32

pick your battles. Nothing's perfect. I was

21:34

saying all of those things. Nobody's

21:36

perfect. But, you know, they're perfect

21:38

for me. Yeah. I was saying all the things.

21:41

But there are just some key points

21:43

in Wifey that you have to look at.

21:46

You gotta say, oh, you gotta go to shoes.

21:48

That mean he'll buy me some. But

21:51

when the shoes ain't quite goochie

21:54

and and they you know, but I'm thinking, oh, he's

21:56

frugal. Oh, that's so cool. Like,

21:59

you know, when when when when the car,

22:01

you know, is from the nineteen hundreds.

22:04

Okay. I mean, in in

22:06

my line, when the cars were nineteen hundreds, I

22:08

was like, oh, but he's kept it up.

22:10

It's still running well. You know?

22:14

It's a good car. I

22:15

should say nineteen hundred. But my thing

22:17

is, ladies, when you see when he

22:19

has a nice car, he he might buy you

22:21

one. But when he doesn't, is

22:25

not gonna happen. You know?

22:27

So it's like it'll just these little

22:30

things that I just kept saying, well, I'm not gold

22:32

digger, so it doesn't matter like that I

22:34

don't care about material to old baby.

22:36

God got me right together on the material things.

22:39

Wow. Because we're always like,

22:41

oh, I don't care about material things. Right? So

22:45

remember when Jesus was walking back

22:47

and he saw the fig tree? Yeah. I

22:49

liken my relationship that man to

22:51

a fig

22:52

tree. Do you know that's exactly what I always

22:54

tell people about my past marriage? What

22:56

I said that I felt like I said, what

22:58

made me decide to get divorce is because

23:00

I liken my marriage to the fig tree that

23:02

wasn't bearing fruit in

23:03

season. And I felt like it was a cursed

23:05

fig tree. That's the reason why I had to get a divorce

23:08

so that

23:08

I could bear the fruit

23:09

of everything that I do now. Ugh.

23:11

Yeah. Well, here's mine. I say that

23:14

my fig tree was six two.

23:16

Curly hair, beautiful skin,

23:19

great smile, charisma, spoke

23:21

well, love the Lord knew how to

23:23

praise and all of that. That's the victory.

23:26

Now that victory looked good. But

23:29

baby when you got up on it, this is when you was walking

23:31

towards that picture there was no fruit. There

23:33

was no fruit. It was a what did he

23:35

what did he do to the

23:36

victories? First it. And

23:38

then with it. Baby? Yeah.

23:41

That's what I that's what I like in this too,

23:43

if you will, you know, my song. Don't dig

23:45

down. Yeah. I sing the lyric in

23:47

there, like, about if there's no

23:49

fruit, like, Yeah. There's no

23:51

fruit. And not and so that's what I like him

23:53

to also material things. Yeah. Like

23:55

the material things, it's not really about

23:57

them. It's about this is where

23:59

I've been in life and this is what I've been able

24:02

to accomplish, you know, over time.

24:04

This is right. But when when everything

24:06

is not there. You

24:08

know, people like me was given all kinda. It's

24:10

okay. It's okay. And

24:13

I hope my father doesn't get me for this one.

24:15

When it was over, You

24:17

know, my mom was like, your dad isn't

24:20

there kinda. I was like, what the your

24:22

dad isn't there crying. was like, why?

24:25

He said that if If he didn't say

24:27

yes, then you wouldn't have did it.

24:29

And that is the truth. So

24:31

my father feels like I gave you to

24:33

the wrong one. Because

24:35

if daddy had said, this ain't him, I would have been, like, look

24:37

at your buddy. You that quick. That

24:39

quick. You wouldn't you wouldn't wake you.

24:41

So, daddy, you wouldn't Not not I

24:43

love, but I love them, daddy. I would not have done

24:45

it. Really? I would I'm her. That's

24:47

good. I'm her. You

24:48

trust your father. I trust my I daddy

24:51

say jump back into the pool when I couldn't swim.

24:53

I'm jumping. Like, that Carla

24:55

s Evans, baby,

24:57

he got me. That's my first love.

24:59

Okay. I'd know what a man's supposed to

25:01

be. So I

25:03

love that his heart

25:04

was sensitive enough to feel

25:06

responsible

25:07

for the responsible. Because as a

25:09

as a father, I'm

25:11

hashtag girl dad all day. And

25:14

so when I gave my daughter away

25:16

back in December of twenty twenty too.

25:18

Mhmm. I had to evaluate old boy.

25:20

I was like, now we got to talk. Because at the end of the day,

25:22

I take my

25:23

word, like, seriously. If

25:25

I'm saying,

25:25

when they say who gives this woman

25:28

away. Mhmm. I have to be able to say,

25:30

yes, I give, you know, I give my daughter

25:32

you believing that you can cover her the

25:34

way I covered

25:35

her. Believe in that you could protect her. The way

25:37

that I protect her. Believe in that you could provide

25:39

for her. Believe in that you can provide

25:41

security for all those things, I had to

25:43

be able to see that in that that young

25:45

woman. Wait. Wait. Say You said something there. You said

25:48

you had to be able to see that. See it.

25:50

But not that he could do it right on that day. No.

25:52

No. Because my dad was giving him grace

25:54

saying, I know you can't do it on this state.

25:56

Yeah. But but I trust you to

25:58

get it done. Right. Right. Right. So that

26:01

was kind of where it kind of ended

26:03

because

26:05

Yeah. No. Once once that whole

26:07

thing happened, it was like So

26:09

what really made the bottom fall out of your marriage?

26:11

I know you haven't been very vocal about

26:13

it. Not at all. What made

26:15

the bottom fall off? I was verbally abused,

26:18

and I became a verbal abuser.

26:21

Right. Because, you

26:22

know, I didn't sit there and

26:23

just listen. Open. Open gonna come out. I said what

26:25

you're saying? Oh, baby.

26:27

I went into the backpack point.

26:30

You know? There were

26:32

things like you make enough for the two of us.

26:35

Mhmm. Oh, I didn't

26:37

know. thought I married a working actress. You

26:39

know, on those times when the times are being

26:41

for me. There there was so there was verbal

26:43

abuse, and and people talk about

26:46

domestic violence so much. And they're

26:48

always talking about the black eye to brooms, and

26:50

they always got the pictures. But baby,

26:52

the pictures of my heart, the

26:54

pictures of of

26:56

what happened on the inside when somebody

26:59

tell you, did nobody want you but me. Mhmm.

27:01

When you hear the things, you

27:03

overweight, you fat, you when you hear

27:06

the things, and you Brely in a

27:08

in a in a business that

27:10

tries to guide

27:11

you, you know. Yeah.

27:13

Nope. Nobody understands what

27:15

I was going through while I was

27:17

Ron Dale Lancaster on this on

27:19

the set of ambitions. This

27:22

is when it hit to hit

27:24

to hit the bricks. I was getting

27:26

up for work like Okay.

27:30

Like, that was that's

27:32

when it all just, you know, really fell apart

27:35

when I got to Atlanta. But let me tell you about

27:37

the goodness of God again. Like,

27:40

the marriage was failing first

27:42

week of marriage. And you tell me, maybe I please,

27:45

talk you you talk to folks all the time. Maybe you

27:47

ask them for me. First week of marriage. We

27:49

had to go out of town for something he had to

27:51

do. My mom and I said, oh, we'll

27:54

meet you down there. Because you're going out of town. We'll

27:56

make it a girl's whatever while. So let's

27:58

meet for dinner after you finish a business. We get

28:00

there. The first week of marriage.

28:03

He come to the restaurant without his ring on.

28:07

We like. And my mother's like,

28:09

please don't make a a mohiel. What they say? Whatever

28:11

to happen. Make a mountain out of mohiel. And I'm like,

28:13

mommy, I just got married last

28:15

week and he doesn't have his ring on.

28:18

And he's like, girl, like, he's

28:20

like, I wash my hands. What? I could

28:23

not sit I would not sit at the restaurant

28:25

at the table until we left

28:27

my mother at the restaurant with the other people

28:30

went back to the hotel because he was he was staying

28:32

in the

28:32

hotel, and we were staying in that place. And

28:34

go, could you ring? No.

28:36

Why y'all in separate hotels? Oh,

28:38

because he was there on business. okay. So mom

28:40

and I decided to make it a girl's thing and

28:42

do our thing somewhere

28:43

else. So that's what

28:45

happened was. And I so that was first week.

28:47

So

28:47

how did you feel because of that? Because the

28:49

ring wasn't on his finger. I just

28:51

felt like I

28:54

I felt not represented. I'm

28:56

like, you're not you're we're we're away

28:59

from each other. He had already been there a few

29:01

days. Mom and I came down

29:03

and you walk him here just

29:05

like, what's up with We

29:07

back to that, like

29:08

So he said he just he washed

29:10

his hands. My hands. Like

29:11

He just left it at at And I was like, well, let's

29:13

go get it. Because

29:16

I don't know. That it just meant so much

29:18

to

29:18

me, like Well, of course, because

29:19

you you waited for this moment. I was telling you and

29:21

you didn't get a I mean, it's a week later that

29:23

you had to be.

29:24

The symbolism of I'm single.

29:27

Yeah. You know, I waited.

29:30

You know,

29:31

man, that hurt. Was having just, like, little

29:33

bit So how did

29:34

he handle her? How do you hey.

29:36

How did he handle

29:37

As of now, how did

29:38

you respond? How did you Well,

29:40

I was being a big Brely. People that know that

29:42

I can be a brat. was like,

29:43

that's why I'm sitting at this table till my husband

29:45

has a ring on. So what

29:48

what does everyone want it in? You

29:50

guys gonna sit there and order your food out stand

29:52

right here. I'm her.

29:55

I I am a little extra. But that

29:57

but I know that there's

29:59

a guy out there that knows how to --

30:01

Handle that, actually. -- love the hell out of me. Yeah.

30:03

If you can't mind, I'm saying. Yeah. You know

30:05

what I'm saying? So he never really

30:07

handled it that well. There's

30:10

another thing that I say that I think

30:12

people should be aware of when

30:14

they're dating in search searching for the one.

30:18

Proposals without rings? Is

30:23

it no no? It's not about

30:25

the material thing. Like, people want, oh, Brely,

30:27

you all about material. No. It

30:29

says that he has intention

30:32

for you that he will save or

30:34

whatever he has to do to

30:37

present something to you.

30:39

I'll never forget. Tabbeth

30:41

the brown. My sister said

30:43

you will not walk down that aisle until he proposes

30:46

properly. You

30:49

will not. And I was like, oh,

30:51

says, we we, you know, big deal. So

30:53

if y'all see the video of me getting proposed

30:56

to -- Yeah. -- I thought a stripper was coming in

30:58

at it. They had too short plan and

31:01

and the blindfold on me. I was about to attack

31:03

me. I was like, oh my goodness. I said, I didn't

31:05

put a filter for me. Wait a minute. And

31:09

they took the blindfold. It was him on his knee

31:11

proposing with

31:13

the ring and everything because he hadn't had it just

31:15

yet. But he added that day,

31:17

and it was beautiful. So he had

31:19

proposed you prior to that? You you

31:22

know what? I never really got a proposal.

31:24

It was kinda like -- We get married. -- we get married.

31:27

And I was like, okay. It wasn't really

31:29

like, I think there's something to a

31:31

man. See, a king humbling

31:34

himself before a queen.

31:37

That knee means something

31:39

Oh, it means everything. People's like it means

31:41

everything. I see it all the time. Something

31:43

that happens in the spirit realm when a

31:45

man acts. Because we always hear about

31:47

the woman submitting to a man, but the bible

31:50

says submit you one to another. And that

31:52

first submission from a man comes when he

31:54

kneels

31:55

new. This is the most beautiful

31:57

statement. It's God. It's the

31:59

man -- Right. -- then the woman. So he's taking

32:01

that man. He's putting him beneath you

32:04

to say, I vow

32:07

to protect, provide you know,

32:09

do all the things for you. So I never

32:12

had gotten that. And I was kind of

32:14

I was like, you know, whatever. And then,

32:16

you know, to be sick months into the marriage

32:18

and then start getting phone calls and text messages

32:21

about ayo. Is he gonna give me that money back?

32:25

What do you mean? Oh, they were like five

32:27

or six people that put in on this thing. Oh, okay.

32:29

Well, he asked me which one I want it. I just point

32:31

it. But you know, so

32:33

it's like So did you begin to realize

32:36

the sacrifice was never made for

32:37

you? And so in fact, what

32:39

did I do? I gave myself

32:42

way. So you can

32:44

use me. So you can't use

32:46

me. Leave me Leave

32:48

myself away and I just refuse to do that

32:50

again. I feel like I

32:53

I

32:53

What did he say about that? Turns me. When

32:56

you confronted him or brought it back and

32:58

be like, why are these people calling? Well No. Because

33:00

I I mean, I could When the dude I

33:02

could deduce that the brother didn't

33:04

have. Would it

33:04

I know about the What what he said

33:07

was it was was you okay with that? I was

33:09

okay with it because I was thinking, that's what the

33:11

man should do. If you haven't got no money, go

33:13

ask your friends, your uncles, that's over

33:15

there. Don't don't come here. And I remember,

33:17

actually, I remember when

33:19

early when

33:21

we were dating, something went wrong

33:23

with his car. Mhmm. Someone went wrong with his car.

33:26

And he asked me to pay

33:28

for it. And I said, oh, I don't do men and

33:30

money. Oh, I was

33:32

so proud of myself. Y'all, because I didn't

33:34

buy cars. I don't buy

33:36

computers. I

33:38

don't start business. Because I'm a help like,

33:41

I am a giver. No. Yeah. And my friends

33:43

now, Christina Johnson. She's like, you

33:45

don't get this receiving right. You don't

33:47

get it right. Because I don't really know how to

33:50

receive. If somebody does something for me, I'd be quick to wear

33:52

them a given day.

33:52

That's how I am. That's that's bad. I'm trying

33:55

to learn not to be like this.

33:56

I'm so like that. So I don't

33:57

know if that's a pride thing or what? It's not good,

33:59

and they say, you know what they say about the pride and the fall.

34:01

Yeah. So he

34:04

asked me and I said, no. Like, no. I

34:06

was so proud of myself. Like,

34:08

I thought it was a moment, like, the

34:10

earth could shake right now because I said

34:13

I said no. I couldn't believe I said

34:15

no. So that

34:19

the expectation that he had

34:21

of me was like, well, I'm asking

34:23

you. Not asking

34:26

nobody. I'm asking you. And I and I've

34:28

seen people sit on your couch right here and say,

34:30

she had my bed. Yep. When

34:32

I needed this, she did this. And then

34:34

I'm like, we were dating, and

34:37

I had already been through things with men and

34:39

money. And it just wasn't a good

34:41

look for me. Right? I Did

34:44

you actually tell him that though? I did. And

34:46

then he would go on to say, I'm not him.

34:48

No. I'm not the but I just didn't

34:50

even wanna get into that. I never

34:52

wanted that exchange to happen because

34:55

that's what happened with the ones I'm not

34:56

with. Because the exchange had

34:58

happened. Right? So this time I said,

35:00

I'm a stay away from paying

35:02

for stuff like that for you know I'm

35:04

talking about the exchange of articulating what

35:07

it what it is. To be able to say, hey, listen.

35:09

I really I mean, I really wish I could

35:11

show up like this, but at this stage of my wanna

35:14

do this because XYZ and I realized

35:16

that I'm such and such and such when I do

35:18

this. I didn't speak that well.

35:21

But I just I tried to explain why.

35:23

And, of course, I used past tense

35:25

relationships, which never is a good idea.

35:27

You did this for these other news. Then could

35:29

you do that? Be I had just that

35:32

was my last I was the last time it happened,

35:34

that was my last time. I was like, you know what? I

35:36

mean, I'm a giver and I

35:38

don't want to be used. I don't want

35:41

you to be with me because of what I can

35:43

and it I want I wanna wanna do things.

35:45

So put it like this. When I had opportunities

35:48

to share oh, I'm I'm a giver. Right.

35:50

Because your first time on first class will be who?

35:52

Your first time, it just buys our whole thing.

35:54

Wifey Like, you know, I'm a always

35:56

get so I give so much that

35:59

when we were dating, I had to

36:01

go speak at the Dreamers Academy

36:03

in Florida somewhere. Of

36:05

course, first class everything car pick

36:07

you up. But, you know -- Mhmm. -- they gave us

36:10

money to spend, and we

36:12

were abstaining from sex. And so

36:14

he was like, oh, is it we gonna be

36:16

cool? It's gonna be a sweet? So you could sleep,

36:18

you know, and then we could kinda wanna do all that.

36:20

But when it's time to go, he's like, you

36:22

know, what's gonna help us out? Can my friend

36:24

come? And I was like, okay.

36:28

He he asked that his guy friend could come,

36:31

and I said, yeah. Yeah.

36:36

That's what happened was. I

36:39

hosted them for

36:41

a whole week. In Florida.

36:43

Did you say I hosted? Yeah.

36:46

You know, I made sure everybody ate.

36:49

Everybody got a souvenir. You

36:51

know, everybody. Have fun. We gonna

36:53

get on these rides. Like, we had a good time.

36:55

But my point is, I I did give,

36:57

and I was

36:58

open, you know, to sharing What do

37:00

want his friend coming? Because he

37:02

it was he thought that his friend should

37:04

come because that's gonna make sure we don't do nothing.

37:07

Like, we don't we don't we don't go we don't go too far

37:09

because somebody will be there in my

37:12

naive yourself was like, okay. That's

37:15

different. Alright. It's just the truth.

37:17

That's just different. It's just the, like,

37:19

I wouldn't want my homeboy with me, with my woman.

37:22

Now I know that.

37:24

Now I know that. They didn't knew it, but

37:26

no one told me that. No. I don't know. I

37:28

I don't know.

37:29

Don't think I want my I mean and

37:31

I know one of the the guy

37:33

who I called, like, you know, you have that one person that

37:36

you dating -- Yeah. -- and that they're, like, the love of your

37:38

Wifey. would call

37:40

me from time because we dated when I was, like,

37:42

younger, and he would still call to check-in on

37:44

me your time to say, k. Wow. Here do you

37:46

see? Brother's ain't doing but you you give

37:48

an eye as you did. And I was like, no. Not with this

37:50

one, I was so happy. But

37:52

he was always like coaching me going,

37:54

what are you doing? I didn't I

37:56

didn't even raise you like that. I treated you like

37:59

a queen. I gave you everything. You know,

38:01

he was the first person to take me out the country and

38:03

do all the things. And he

38:05

was like, just shaking his head

38:07

even today, I think he's still be lying. This

38:10

girl here, my

38:12

plumb. He's coming plump.

38:15

But he'd be like, oh, Lord, what

38:17

are you doing out here? You're just out

38:19

here. I'm like, I know. But

38:21

So for that year, y'all dated for

38:23

about a year and a

38:24

and some months. So,

38:25

no, it was it was, like, around about ten months because

38:28

by the year, we were getting married. We

38:30

were getting That's a

38:30

good time for you. think it was a great time. I

38:32

didn't feel like I needed any more time.

38:35

Oh, there's another see, every time I think every

38:37

time you say something, I come to another point, of what not

38:39

to do. He can't move in y'all.

38:42

Are you moving in with you? He can't move in.

38:45

I'm a very also I

38:47

have lots of ideas. I'm a strategist. I don't

38:49

know people who will, you know, dealing all that.

38:51

Yeah. But we are big dreamers.

38:54

And and I got a plan for everything. In

38:56

your ladies, your man has to have

38:59

have the vision. I don't think we need to have the vision.

39:01

I think he has to have the vision, and then we help

39:03

him with the vision. But, baby, I was like, so

39:05

you could move in and get on your

39:07

feet for the first six months. And then even if we

39:09

have to move into an apartment, you know, I

39:11

was willing to come down from what I'm

39:13

used to. I own a whole house. And I was like,

39:16

I can, you know, rent mine out. We can get it apart.

39:19

I had the whole thing set up, but that was me.

39:21

That's see. That's why I know. By the time

39:23

we had went through by four, six, ten

39:25

counselors and ended up with the

39:27

white coat. That's

39:30

when I got my life to get that white coat. The the

39:32

the clinical psychologist got us together.

39:34

Okay? Yeah. I mean, we went to I

39:36

mean, we tried to cancel with friends. We

39:39

tried, you know, older couples. That

39:41

older couple said, this

39:43

is above our pay grade. We're

39:45

gonna introduce you to a

39:47

doctor. And we were like, okay?

39:49

That

39:49

we're married at this point.

39:50

Yes. And, I mean, we could not

39:52

Good. Y'all did a prequel counselor.

39:54

Yeah. And

39:55

y'all had counselors all throughout your

39:57

marriage.

39:57

All throughout them the home.

39:59

And

39:59

it was it was three months. Sixteen

40:02

month month. We

40:04

had counselors and people and because

40:07

I was we've had to call people, like, in the midst

40:09

of, like,

40:10

It it That's good. He was open enough to actually

40:12

go through counseling. Yeah.

40:13

That's good. lot people want a lot of men just

40:16

they will not submit to that. Yeah.

40:18

He he too he was totally that's I I

40:20

was, you know, happy that he was submit

40:22

to it, although it didn't always I

40:24

think we were both pointing

40:27

at the finger. You're wrong. You're wrong. So

40:29

we all we wanted to go to prove our point. Yeah.

40:31

Use somebody else's side. Somebody on your side.

40:34

And by the time we got to the clinical psychology,

40:37

she said, she said y'all both some fools. I

40:39

was like, oh, no. I'm not like him.

40:41

She said, no. Yes. Maybe you are. And she was a

40:43

black woman in her seventies and

40:46

who loved the lore but worldwide co we

40:48

went to a hospital. Y'all. Well, it's we

40:50

are this marriage is sick. We

40:52

own the sink in the shut in list. You hear

40:54

me? Praise us. I'm

40:56

serious. Like, for real for

40:58

real. And so we would sit

41:01

there, and then so she decided she wanted

41:03

to see us together, and

41:05

then see him separately, and then me separately

41:08

together. And then so I would go

41:10

to my possession by myself. And

41:12

she said, he didn't show up this week. What's

41:14

going on? Oh, I forgot to say

41:16

you. About three sessions

41:19

in, she said, oh, these first

41:22

of all, we my my

41:24

the guy said yes to. We

41:27

never had one of those. I

41:29

never had one of those. So

41:32

we had no insurance. So we had to pay.

41:34

Right? We to pay cash. So I was like, we're

41:36

going half on this. Okay. Where you gotta get

41:38

yours from that ain't my business? I brought

41:40

my half. Where you'll have it? And

41:43

so and she could see us over in

41:45

the corner. She ain't tooling.

41:48

Well, you need five more dogs. You know,

41:50

she saw us. I'm like, We went to the next

41:52

session. She said, God told me. God told

41:54

me. God told me. I

41:56

mean, she said God told me to

41:59

to do this. Do you know that she

42:01

gave and I'm probably well, I never said the names till

42:03

she's still covered. She said,

42:05

God told me

42:07

that I have to do this at no charge.

42:10

And so we didn't have to come in the scraper.

42:12

That's

42:12

good. And no more. And so we begin to go, and

42:14

then he stopped coming. And she would be like,

42:16

where is? I'm not going I'm cutting out the

42:18

time. Yeah. On my calendar, he did show up.

42:20

What's going on? Yeah. I kept going. And

42:23

y'all. The

42:24

moment, I kept going.

42:27

When you

42:27

started getting that strength. Started

42:29

getting that strength and elevator, building

42:31

that muscle. So

42:35

she began to pour into me

42:38

in such a way that I wish

42:40

that every young girl before

42:43

they go down the

42:44

aisle, that's

42:46

why I'm here.

42:47

Yeah.

42:48

That's why I'm here. Yeah.

42:49

Because the way she showed

42:51

me my shoes, like, you know, that's six two

42:54

curly hair, cutie potty, it walked up in

42:56

here. That's you. You know what?

42:58

In the insecurities he got about you, you

43:00

you owe TV, you kiss people. You

43:02

all that stuff you doing? That's

43:04

you looking at you. And I'm was like, uh-uh,

43:07

and she was like, uh-huh. That's

43:09

you. Because what I learned is

43:12

we are magnets. All

43:14

I did was draw, like, energy

43:16

into me. You know?

43:19

And so we think the devil coming in red

43:21

and the horns and the quote, quote,

43:23

and novel. No.

43:25

You are I drew that into me. That's

43:28

how broken I was. It had

43:30

nothing to do with him. Like, people

43:32

are like, oh, your song don't date down. I'm like, it's

43:34

really not about

43:35

him. It's about me. It's don't date

43:37

down is about not

43:39

dating down in your

43:41

your vibration --

43:42

Yeah. -- in your your finances.

43:45

Yes. But not in in how you

43:47

see the world, and what your

43:49

your future plans are, what your purpose

43:52

is. You cannot get with somebody

43:54

that has not worked those things out.

43:56

We must show up both in

43:58

a hundred percent. Yeah. You can't

44:01

show up, you know, like I'm a get

44:03

it done. You know, I'm almost there.

44:05

Yeah. Don't don't do that. Don't do

44:07

that you we gotta let people get let get whole.

44:10

Before you come try to say hi to me. Don't do

44:12

it. So what I've learned is and

44:16

that's what I can tell you. The people

44:18

who are now approaching me for

44:20

dating if I'm like, let

44:23

me look at your fruit. You

44:25

know, I see how other people, you

44:27

know, respond to you. I see how

44:29

you respond to people. I'm like, oh,

44:32

okay. She's different

44:35

because there's a different guy standing in front

44:37

of me now. So I'm like, oh,

44:39

it was me the whole time. That's

44:41

good. It was me. So it was me, but

44:43

I'm I'm so happy that

44:46

it that I know that because guess what?

44:48

If I was the Brely that

44:50

I am today, I would have never

44:53

met him.

44:56

We would have never met because we was vibrating.

44:59

vibrating on too totally.

45:01

There were some surprises that happened in your marriage.

45:03

Right? When you got

45:04

married? Oh, yeah. What

45:05

what was some of those surprises that arose?

45:08

Like I said, I the

45:11

the young lady who introduced us thought

45:13

he didn't have any

45:14

kids.

45:14

Right. But when we met and started talking

45:16

to everything, he was like, I have a son. He's

45:18

twenty something. I was like, oh, no. Twenty something.

45:20

Okay. Cool. So I married a guy

45:23

with a twenty something year old kid.

45:25

Mhmm. And then he was supposed to take us,

45:27

like, when my parents took care of the wedding, so

45:29

he's supposed to do the honeymoon. And

45:32

he was like, wait, I know you wanna go out the country.

45:34

Yes. I do. He didn't have a passport at the time.

45:36

No big deal. Oh, in your episode with

45:38

the girl with the passport, it's a real thing.

45:42

Pass these. Simone, sons

45:44

of the lawyer, why? Ask

45:47

them. Wait.

45:49

Don't matter nobody. Don't got no passport. Okay.

45:52

So She when I saw the episode,

45:54

I was like, I was standing up in my living room

45:56

because I was like, this is the truth. I married

45:59

a home man who didn't have a mask work. So

46:01

I figured he's my husband. I could open the mail.

46:03

Mhmm. So Oh, I got the mail. Mhmm. Mhmm.

46:06

Charmsport. Twenty twenty

46:08

three, I'm thinking, ain't y'all to get it by now

46:10

if the kid is this old. I was waiting

46:12

for me to do a math on that. Wait, this kid is

46:15

six. Who is he? Who

46:17

it is? Who is this? Harper.

46:19

I don't know this person. I don't know this man.

46:22

And so he was like, oh, you know, that girl been

46:24

blaming that kid on me. Come on Jesus. I feel

46:26

it. He's saying he gonna he gonna do something

46:29

for it. So so then there

46:31

was a little boy. There was

46:33

a little boy. That,

46:35

you know, we had to, you know, do all the things go

46:37

to court. And I want children

46:39

so bad that I was like, you know what? God

46:42

hasn't blessed my womb with you because by that

46:44

time we're married. Right? It's because

46:46

we already have children. So I didn't

46:48

care that this was that was before me. I

46:50

only known to boy. Know about a year. Remember?

46:53

So I was like, we have a son. A six

46:55

year old. Let's go get him. He was like, well,

46:57

I love you want to. And I was like, okay. Then

46:59

my mother was like, do not

47:01

force this man to be a father. And I was

47:03

like, that don't sound right, mommy. She's like,

47:05

you can't force you might be doing that

47:07

kid more of a service to leave it

47:10

like it didn't you art, but I was

47:12

like nah. I don't know nah. That ain't what God

47:14

would have God. No. If you

47:16

have your flesh and blood walking here on this

47:18

earth, then so

47:21

we did the thing. We met and we

47:23

met him. He's beautiful and his

47:25

mother was kind and, you know,

47:27

they had a situation and one night situation

47:29

and whatever didn't work out, you know. Yeah.

47:31

And so there's this beautiful child

47:34

and I was just so excited. I'm,

47:36

you know, let let's take him out for the

47:38

week. Can he spend the night? Just wanna oh, I just wanted

47:40

to get his room together. I just wanted and

47:42

then I gotta end a DM on

47:44

Instagram. Instagram?

47:46

On Instagram. Instagram. Boy. Instagram.

47:48

Instagram. Yep. Instagram.

47:51

Instagram. Instagram. That's

47:54

good. Instagram.

47:57

I got an inbox on Instagram that said,

47:59

and and there's a twelve year old here

48:01

in Hawaii. I said, what? So

48:06

and and I and again, I I knew

48:09

I was growing because the owe

48:11

me when it came for her. But

48:13

the new me that I was starting

48:15

to be at the time was like, this isn't

48:17

about him right now. This is about that

48:19

little boy. Yeah. So tell me how to get

48:21

in touch with you. So we can get this family

48:24

where it needs to be. Mhmm. By then,

48:26

I had gotten pregnant twice and

48:30

had two miscarriages. Wow.

48:32

And I was like, Lord, no.

48:35

I'm doing it right.

48:35

Like, I've done everything right. Man, I got

48:38

husband and we got the house.

48:39

Yeah. We're doing right. We're trying to do right by

48:41

the kid now. What's going

48:43

on? And God was like, no.

48:46

And no again. Until

48:48

two times. Two times.

48:50

I never knew that.

48:51

I know. Most people don't know that.

48:54

I

48:54

hate for sharing that.

48:55

Yeah. Because it adds some

48:59

weight to the story of why because I kept

49:01

saying Wifey are you so not

49:04

only forgiving, but so

49:06

considerate of another child

49:08

and so considerate of, you know,

49:10

instead of getting mad, like, I don't want if

49:12

I ain't got no kids, I'm showing up by taking care

49:14

of these kids and you involved, but you did the opposite

49:17

to a great to a great degree

49:19

of saying, let's go do this.

49:21

Even with your mom saying, no. You don't

49:24

do that. You're like, no. This is what God will want.

49:26

And so I salute you for actually because when

49:28

you're

49:28

married, that's how you have to operate. I

49:30

I like, that's I don't know.

49:33

That's just who I am. Like,

49:36

I don't know. That I just have a heart my

49:38

heart is just so soft. To

49:40

kids like that. So I just was like Did

49:42

you

49:42

get to meet the twelve year old? No. Never

49:44

did. He and she was like, get

49:47

out of there because I'm about to drop the hammer.

49:49

And it's gonna be like, ladies, another

49:52

point. This is another point.

49:54

Know the laws where you live.

49:57

So in California, there's

50:00

laws that say, if you this

50:03

word hurt my feelings, Jesus grushed.

50:07

My daddy didn't raise no breadwinner. Okay?

50:10

But when you make the heavier bag

50:13

in the marriage, you are the breadwinner.

50:15

And so the person

50:18

that you marry now is like into

50:20

a lifestyle that you've provided. Yep.

50:22

And the money you make is now called

50:25

marital money. Yeah. And

50:27

the house you own before, he

50:29

even came on the scene is

50:33

now a marriage to,

50:35

you know It's like community property. community property

50:37

because he lives there. Yep.

50:39

Joe, I was like, the car you

50:42

own with no no baby. That's

50:44

that's nothing but more money for him.

50:46

Yeah. So Yep. Because

50:48

I didn't even know these things, I

50:51

was just like, when it came down to it,

50:55

and he filed in

50:57

California, and I saw all

50:59

the stuff plus alimony I

51:01

had to pay. Mhmm. I said, me.

51:06

I was like, we only got married here.

51:09

I don't think I mean,

51:12

I couldn't believe I couldn't believe the paperwork.

51:14

Yeah. I couldn't believe the paperwork.

51:16

So me and my smart self, And

51:18

actually, I was into to be completely one

51:20

hundred percent, let me go back. I

51:23

decided I wasn't gonna get a lawyer and

51:25

do all the things. I'm smart, honey.

51:28

I've gone to college. My parents

51:30

have paid for private school. I

51:32

can go to a couple of, you

51:34

know, free law classes. And

51:36

I can do this thing. So I went

51:38

down to the court and I got the paperwork, honey,

51:41

I printed out what needs to be printed. And

51:44

I served him myself, went

51:47

there and said, you could sign him right here we'd be doing right now.

51:49

He was like, we I ain't doing this. And

51:51

so when he wouldn't sign those papers

51:53

did, he filed in California. So

51:55

and then he lured it up. And

51:58

then my friends were

51:59

like, we know you. Thank you smart.

52:01

Yeah. You bet you too. But what you're not gonna

52:03

do? Is go and get somebody with a whole

52:05

law degree. And I was like, no, because

52:07

the law say, my friends are like, ma'am.

52:11

Ma'am. This

52:13

is not the fight you won't. So anyway

52:15

You're about to lose it all? Yeah. And

52:18

so I reluctantly found

52:21

a beautiful black woman

52:23

who said I'm help

52:25

you. And

52:27

that and her and I Lord, I'd know

52:29

she above my paychecks because she had done

52:32

some of the

52:32

best, you know, some of the, you know, the

52:34

Yeah.

52:34

Best settlements. The best settlements

52:37

the biggest ones in Hollywood. Yeah.

52:39

And here I come, like,

52:42

mine don't look like theirs, but

52:44

he tried to take everything. And

52:46

so and then

52:49

it like, he would say things like,

52:51

you know because to

52:53

to rewind I know I'm all over the place I hope

52:55

you guys are keeping up. Yeah. Keeping up. The

52:58

I was in we were in LA when

53:00

I booked the show ambition.

53:03

Right? So ambition shot

53:06

for eight months. So

53:08

here I am newly wedded saying,

53:11

I gotta go to work for eight months.

53:13

He was like, we are newlywares. I need to with my

53:15

Wifey. And I'm like, I hear you. But I need

53:17

to go make this money.

53:18

Yeah. Because

53:19

you all may not. So I gotta

53:21

get annoyed. So

53:23

please Why why your boys got going to do?

53:25

Because, you know, us still feel I'm still

53:27

little crunchy about how some of the things went

53:29

down. You know, I wish I had the

53:32

words and the because

53:34

remember, you told you when you and I were talking,

53:36

you was like, well, you could've said that, but you could've said

53:38

it like this. Yes. I didn't have that. Yeah.

53:40

I I mind you, I was in the midst of verbal

53:42

abuse. So And

53:44

that's not a reason because I was also a

53:46

verbal abuser back. Right. I was

53:48

not And the reason why I can tell you that

53:51

now is because I've been in those same situation

53:53

where I'll say stuff. Like, you start hitting me

53:55

a certain way. I'm a lash out verbally, and

53:57

I can cut you down with words like never

54:00

before.

54:00

Oh. I write these

54:01

beautiful letters in his book, but that dog don't

54:03

think can go another way when I feel hurt.

54:05

And so and so what I've been asking,

54:07

god, but sure me in the area

54:09

is that even when I feel afflicted,

54:11

even if I feel disrespected, can I

54:13

still offer a level of

54:15

respect without trying to cut

54:17

somebody?

54:17

And that's still

54:18

process. And it is still a process, but I

54:20

find myself these days, taking

54:23

a minute, making

54:25

another call to say, what do you think this person

54:27

made by this? You know, like, can

54:29

I phone a friend? Phone a friend.

54:32

Bonafreak, you know, you know,

54:34

can do a bit to bit. And

54:37

I and and I've slowed myself down to

54:39

to start just giving people benefit of the down.

54:41

Like, I choose peace. Now,

54:43

you know, I choose joy. I choose

54:45

happiness. I choose

54:47

love. Now

54:48

So you got the job at ambition y'all y'all So

54:50

I got the job at ambition and I had to to come

54:53

out and then he was like, I'm coming

54:55

with you. And I was like, I'm paying a mortgage

54:57

in

54:57

California, but you there stay at

54:59

the house.

55:00

In business shooting in Atlanta. Yes. Yes.

55:02

So it was just a a big old thing

55:04

and he ended up

55:06

getting us a place long story short,

55:09

getting us a place in Atlanta. I

55:11

moved in. We were there three weeks before

55:14

he reminded me that that place was in his

55:16

name. The

55:17

witness place, the place in Atlanta? The apartment

55:19

in Atlanta, the two bedroom apartment in Atlanta,

55:21

he was, like, you know, one

55:23

day, I didn't even I didn't

55:25

say something he didn't like, this is when I'm exercising

55:28

all the things from the clinical psychologist. She

55:30

was like, every time you get in the

55:32

ring, they don't know who the fool lives. And

55:35

I said, oh, wait. Hold up. Wait.

55:37

What you're saying? Every time you respond to

55:40

something that he calls you that you are not

55:43

You you are that thing. I'm like,

55:45

what? So this

55:47

particular day, I just decided not

55:51

responding. I'm not

55:53

responding. How many people even angry though?

55:55

And he said, you ain't listening to me. I said, no.

55:58

You said I was overweight that you gonna get somebody fourteen

56:00

years younger than you go. I said all the things you

56:02

said, I'm listening. But he

56:04

was just going for me. He said, you know what?

56:06

Get out. Get out.

56:08

And I was like, Well, I'm your wife. I went

56:10

there went there on that air bed that

56:13

we haven't just moved in. And

56:15

laid down, he was stood over me and was, like, get

56:17

out or I'm calling the police. And

56:19

I just was like, I'm on a new show on

56:21

on. They don't do police men. Right. So don't?

56:23

They don't do that. Yeah. And so I figured,

56:25

let me get dressed and just leave, give

56:27

him some time. I'm thinking because I would have

56:29

never left. I have parents that are

56:31

in -- Yeah. -- forty five years. Yeah. I'm

56:34

not not leaving you. Yeah. I'm gonna let you had

56:36

this

56:36

moment.

56:36

Yeah. I'm gonna go over my girlfriend's house and,

56:38

you know, who saw for two,

56:40

three hours and I'm coming back. I came

56:42

back and I'm

56:45

my keys. I'm

56:46

calling, like He didn't change back quick. Oh,

56:48

no. He took my keys off the

56:51

the road? My ring while I was getting dressed and so

56:53

I couldn't get in the high I couldn't even get

56:55

in. And so I'm like, you took my keys.

56:57

He's like, yeah. I said, you can't come back here. And

56:59

so I'm thinking, okay, he's just mad. I called

57:01

my friend, she said, girl, come back. You know, you always have a

57:03

room here. It's all good. One

57:06

day, two day, three day, Mind

57:08

you, I don't have any clothes. I have pictures

57:10

of myself in my trailer. Oh,

57:13

a actress. Y'all actresses can get this.

57:15

I have pictures of myself. In my

57:17

trailer, and I only

57:19

had those clothes that I put on. And

57:21

I took a picture of myself day one, day

57:24

two, day three, day four,

57:26

and I had to wash it on -- Yes. -- and I would

57:28

be calling him like, I'm wearing the same clothes

57:30

to set pretty soon somebody's gonna ask me

57:32

what's going on. And he's like, oh, do she

57:34

got a wash under? I did wash him. But

57:36

I'm saying, can I come get some clothes? Nope.

57:39

You ain't bought none of my clothes. Can I come get?

57:41

He was like, nope. Like, And so then

57:43

I lost the contact. I lost the contact,

57:46

and I said, I can't see now. Like,

57:48

I can't work. I can't see. I can't drive

57:50

to work. You can come get a

57:51

contact. You can come get some contacts in

57:53

one outfit. And Wow. He

57:55

was doing that.

57:58

But again, when when we are not

58:01

well, when we are not well, we will

58:03

all do some some ridiculous things.

58:06

And my girlfriend can attest because I took a girlfriend

58:08

with me. And she Yeah. --

58:10

the whole thing, she had her phone in her

58:12

top pocket. And I never knew the whole song. She

58:14

was recording the whole song. She said just in case something

58:16

pop off, I need something. So

58:19

she was like, girl, you should get some junk

58:22

close for the gym. I was like, oh,

58:24

yeah. Shoot. You know,

58:26

I'm trying get some stuff and then

58:28

he started playing gospel music. It was crazy.

58:31

It was it it just it was it went crazy.

58:33

And then and I think he said or did something.

58:36

And I was like, you know what? I'm done. Oh,

58:38

he called my parents. And we were in Georgia.

58:40

My parents live in

58:41

California. think it was about nine in

58:43

the morning. So what was it in California? The

58:46

three hours. Three hours ago. So it was six.

58:49

AM. And you called my mom

58:51

to say she over here trying to move out.

58:53

But he forgot that she lay in next

58:55

to a king. Am I gonna

58:57

sit y'all over there fighting an argument again because

58:59

I could hear her and then all I heard

59:01

was kill. Oh, Fajada,

59:03

don't know. My first name is Kim Yeah.

59:06

And so, Braidley, you know, just go by

59:08

that. But my day was like, Kim, get

59:10

all your stuff right now is done. I'm

59:13

put your hands on. I will get you don't

59:15

want me to get on the plane. You bet keep your hands

59:17

to yourself. Get all yours and I was in of

59:19

me and my friend, just a backache. And

59:22

then he was

59:23

like, my mom didn't raise me like, did y'all need some

59:25

help? I was like, don't touch my my friend was like, let him

59:27

help. And so he's

59:29

putting my stuff out in the car. Mark,

59:33

her little car was so packed, and some

59:35

of my stuff was still in the car. I was looking at

59:37

her car. I was like, oh, Uber.

59:39

I called me at Uber

59:40

XL.

59:40

Yeah. He saw that black cheese. Did you call

59:42

something to come up here to take

59:45

I oh, and it was a lady driving. I was like,

59:47

dang, that was gonna be a good scene. That was

59:49

gonna look like I really did. But

59:53

it was a lady driving his big old suburban,

59:55

packed the rest of my stuff. He was like, my wife's leaving

59:57

you today to the driver. And she was like,

1:00:00

And I'll just never I'll never get, like,

1:00:02

driving away with all my

1:00:04

stuff, like, going to my girlfriend,

1:00:07

Christina. Thank you, Christina. When you

1:00:09

heard when you, at that moment, were you,

1:00:11

like, did you feel there's a failure? Did you

1:00:13

feel I could still repairable?

1:00:15

Yes. I felt like it was repairable. Yeah. I

1:00:17

did. I totally did because I said --

1:00:19

Yeah. -- a week or two? Yep. Then

1:00:21

I said, a month or two. Yeah. And

1:00:23

then when it got to five months, I

1:00:27

was like, you know, I'm oh,

1:00:29

can't cuss on this Can't cuss on the show. Oh, Braley

1:00:32

Evans. Brely mother

1:00:34

up and everything. I mean, I had to remember

1:00:36

who I was. I

1:00:37

was, like, five months

1:00:39

of holidays. don't

1:00:42

know. See, I call that the I call that the prodigal

1:00:44

son moment where he says, and then he came to himself.

1:00:47

That's when you because when you reminded

1:00:49

of who you are, and we all

1:00:51

go through that moment. Hopefully, some of us

1:00:53

get there sooner than later, but you

1:00:55

you have those moments where you go, hold on. If

1:00:57

you don't value me, I must have

1:01:00

showed you that I was invaluable in some

1:01:02

areas. Or

1:01:02

that I don't value it. And then I I'm a value

1:01:04

myself, and I'm a sit here right here now. No.

1:01:06

Hold on. Let me and then you start saying exactly

1:01:09

the language that you just said, would you be

1:01:11

like, I am and you'll start affirming

1:01:13

yourself, which you're really big about

1:01:15

affirmations. And

1:01:17

what does that mean? Because

1:01:19

let me change something. I started saying my I

1:01:21

m.

1:01:21

The I m's right here. I started saying

1:01:23

the I m's. Got God's sick.

1:01:25

Let me check. God will tell you to use social media.

1:01:27

Sometimes y'all see people on social media talking

1:01:29

and doing things. Yeah. Like, he need to get out social media.

1:01:31

No. Yeah. God use the social

1:01:33

media. I went on the social media

1:01:36

and what I was doing

1:01:38

in the mornings. So I was doing my am. Somebody said,

1:01:40

I wanna wanna read those things. And I said,

1:01:42

no. I might just save them from, you know,

1:01:44

whatever. They're like, no, we wanna read them.

1:01:46

One of the fans on the thing

1:01:50

emailed me everything I had said

1:01:52

in one of my and she said, there's your

1:01:54

book. You finish it up. That right there.

1:01:56

Came out of it. And I'm like, God,

1:01:58

I can't just do no I

1:02:01

am you know, this this wasn't enough for

1:02:03

a book, and then I heard ABCs. And

1:02:06

that's the ABC's oh, the ABC's of IAM's.

1:02:08

Okay. Because guess guess why is ABC?

1:02:11

I don't care if you have a doctor's degree everybody

1:02:13

started. ABC. ABC. So

1:02:16

I said that's not enough. Just twenty six letters.

1:02:18

That's not enough for a book lord. He said

1:02:20

five words. For every letter.

1:02:22

And then I said, that's still not he

1:02:24

said, put a scripture to

1:02:26

every I am in there. So people are not

1:02:28

just saying affirmations. They

1:02:30

are standing on the word. They

1:02:32

are and so that's how the book went.

1:02:35

It's so the

1:02:35

book. I am for the lord your God as the one who

1:02:37

goes with you to fight for you against your enemies

1:02:39

to give you victory due to enemy twenty

1:02:41

first. Come

1:02:42

on, victory. I am victorious. Say

1:02:44

it. I am victorious. Bin victorious means

1:02:46

even if you lose, you are tourists

1:02:49

because you ran your

1:02:50

race, your way, you beat your

1:02:52

own time. There is no

1:02:54

competition.

1:02:55

Can I tell you something? It's

1:02:57

amazing that you opened it to that

1:02:58

You're under slippage. Can I tell you this? I tell people,

1:03:01

don't read that book from front of back. Let's

1:03:03

have your time with the Lord. And then let him

1:03:05

reveal Let him reveal something to you and look

1:03:08

down. Because that's how he

1:03:10

works in that book. That is

1:03:12

a bible repurposed that

1:03:14

I don't I understand how the Bible was

1:03:16

inspired by man to write because

1:03:18

I'm not wasn't good in English. Yeah. It wasn't

1:03:21

my thing. But he's this book has

1:03:23

been birthed out of all the experience. You

1:03:26

know? And now I'm doing shows

1:03:28

and and having the event I just had

1:03:30

when Kingspeak. Right. Like, all

1:03:32

of these things would not have been born

1:03:35

if I didn't have the experience with

1:03:37

with this you

1:03:38

know. And

1:03:38

then in the book, you leave this area

1:03:40

right here. And what is this area right here

1:03:43

for? It's so that they can get their holy download.

1:03:45

You get that download and you say what God

1:03:47

is saying to you in the moment so you can go back

1:03:50

and remember. Sometimes you need to be

1:03:52

be in remembrance of yourself, you know?

1:03:54

Of where you were in that

1:03:55

moment. I know.

1:03:57

But he said to me, my grace is

1:03:59

sufficient for you. For my power is made

1:04:01

perfect and weakness. Therefore, I

1:04:03

will boast all the more gladly about my

1:04:05

weaknesses. And this is what I stand on right here

1:04:08

so that Christ power may rest

1:04:10

on

1:04:10

me. Second Corinthians twelve verse nine.

1:04:13

Say it, I am motivated.

1:04:14

I am motivated. There it is. Ma'am, motivated

1:04:16

means you put an idea into

1:04:18

action starting out even if you don't have

1:04:21

all the resources your motivation is

1:04:23

a magnet force that says. That's

1:04:27

that's that's that's that's that's very good right there. Well,

1:04:28

when I tell you that right there, give me

1:04:30

That thing right there. Yeah. It's on Amazon.

1:04:32

Yeah. Go on Amazon. Go on Amazon. Get

1:04:35

your tool. Get your tool. Get your your sword.

1:04:39

And so when did you write

1:04:41

this book? So this was it

1:04:43

took me about She

1:04:46

would maybe we had three years after we were

1:04:48

apart that I just was on a

1:04:50

healing journey. I was just, like, I wanna

1:04:52

be bet. What you know, and then I begin to

1:04:54

hear and, like, was then I was doing

1:04:56

the I'm's and

1:04:57

everything, and that's how it it came about. Like

1:04:59

So what year did the enrollment take place?

1:05:01

That was like, what? Eighteen.

1:05:05

Yeah. Eighteen.

1:05:06

What's so interesting is that as you

1:05:08

were afraid

1:05:09

of losing lose. This came out in twenty. In twenty

1:05:11

twenty. Mhmm. So as you were afraid

1:05:13

to lose everything in this battle, whatever,

1:05:15

Norman, tell people what an Norman does.

1:05:18

Well, Enrollment says that it never happened.

1:05:21

And so what happened was he didn't show

1:05:23

up for court. We had

1:05:26

the court date and everything, and the

1:05:30

the my attorney with his attorney didn't

1:05:32

show up either. And so my attorney said, well,

1:05:34

an all fairness judge, I need to go over

1:05:37

the list that he's asking for, half

1:05:39

the house, the car -- Yeah. -- what's

1:05:41

in her account? And the judge

1:05:44

said, well, Mister

1:05:47

didn't decide to come today, so apparently

1:05:49

he wants nothing. But can I tell you guys

1:05:51

this? What happened in me

1:05:53

was I was doing everything

1:05:56

that the attorney told me to do to keep my

1:05:58

stuff. I got to

1:06:00

a point where I said -- Oh. -- this stuff

1:06:02

ain't even mine. You said you don't care. I must do

1:06:04

it over it. Yeah. This is gossip. Has

1:06:07

a

1:06:07

mouthful. If God is trying to get his son

1:06:09

something through me, he can have it.

1:06:12

You

1:06:12

went there with it? I went there. I said he can

1:06:14

have it. Whatever it is. So I went to

1:06:16

court thinking today is the day. I don't know.

1:06:18

You know, how he gonna get half of his house? I'm gonna

1:06:20

have to sell it nor to give him half because where I'm gonna get

1:06:22

-- Yeah. -- hundreds of thousands dollars to give him So

1:06:25

III would I have surrendered my

1:06:27

stuff. Like, you can have it. Because

1:06:30

I and then even my attorney, she was co.

1:06:32

She was like, you don't believe God could do this

1:06:34

again and more. Triple for your

1:06:36

trouble. I said, you know what give him all this. Give

1:06:39

it to him. That that the judge

1:06:41

said, because he's not

1:06:43

here, then he obviously doesn't want anything,

1:06:45

and I didn't have to give a thing. So

1:06:48

that's another lesson. Keep your hands open.

1:06:51

Keep your hands open. And you know what?

1:06:54

I'm sitting here. Can I take something? Y'all.

1:06:56

I tripped that. You add me on on

1:06:58

here and you didn't have a tissue

1:06:59

box. But I said, am I not gonna

1:07:02

need a tissue, but I am healed from

1:07:04

a thing

1:07:04

y'all. What is? I

1:07:05

don't need a tissue box when I talk about

1:07:07

this. Yeah. Like out. Yeah. I thought

1:07:09

it was it was a moment at the very beginning. I thought

1:07:11

you was about to cry when you was talking about something I

1:07:13

said, I didn't bring a tissue and I said, it's over

1:07:16

there in the corner.

1:07:16

Notice it what now? I was like, Oh, what have you been

1:07:18

looking like on here? But y'all, there's

1:07:21

and so I and and I never like to say, Hill's

1:07:24

ED because I think healing is always

1:07:26

happening to But certain areas, you know,

1:07:28

it's not that you get over it. This gap is good.

1:07:30

You know, you can flick this gap and your skin look

1:07:32

good a bit. That's where I'm at in this in

1:07:34

this point. Yeah.

1:07:36

What people don't may not know about the

1:07:39

nobleman. One of the things that you can do

1:07:41

when the stipulations of getting

1:07:43

a on a note is if you have kids

1:07:45

that are undisclosed. And so

1:07:48

if I get married to someone and never let

1:07:50

them know about my children that I have, that's

1:07:53

of that's one of the grounds of in the nomen.

1:07:55

So that's what's so interesting about even how

1:07:57

this thing laid out. But, ma'am,

1:07:59

when I tell you what so dope about is that

1:08:01

you've been very private about this situation,

1:08:04

and so I take it as an honor that you

1:08:06

would trust me

1:08:08

with the story that you'll trust me

1:08:10

with your vulnerability that you'll trust this

1:08:12

space and what I love so

1:08:14

much about how you've been journeying through

1:08:16

this conversation is that

1:08:19

you've you're pulling out your own gyms

1:08:21

and nuggets and, hey, women, take

1:08:23

a listen, hey, and that's what God

1:08:25

has allowed us to become or or walking

1:08:27

epistles. And as walking epistles,

1:08:29

this is the book of great Come on. There's

1:08:32

there's nothing you could do to change your

1:08:34

story. This is a story that God gifted

1:08:36

you with. And the Bible says that people

1:08:38

will be over come by the word of our testimony by

1:08:40

the blood of the

1:08:41

lamb. So this is your testimony.

1:08:42

This

1:08:42

is your testimony. This is your testimony. It's a beautiful testimony

1:08:45

no matter how. Ugly it was.

1:08:47

No. No. It's not here. Nothing against

1:08:49

him, you know. Yeah. God bless him. Thank

1:08:51

you for the experience wherever you are. We

1:08:53

don't even know each other anymore. It's so crazy. But

1:08:56

it's like, I'm grateful for the

1:08:58

experience

1:08:58

because, again, we wouldn't have books and shows

1:09:01

and all these kind of things, but I think,

1:09:03

you know, be on your journey. Yes. Be on

1:09:05

your journey. Submit to the journey. Submit to the journey.

1:09:07

Just it's it's okay. We might get

1:09:09

some bumps and and and bruises on the way.

1:09:11

But I know there's a king for

1:09:13

me. I'm there's no the desire is

1:09:15

too strong.

1:09:16

Yeah. That so I I I'm

1:09:18

very I'm confirmed. Although

1:09:20

I'm holding on like this, but I'm like,

1:09:22

you better come on and get this. Now,

1:09:26

I'm just I'm I'm really

1:09:28

I'm just excited that I can do this whole show

1:09:30

and not

1:09:31

Breakdown. No. Breakdown.

1:09:32

I'm like, because I did. I was gonna

1:09:34

bet to your boss like this. Yeah. She was so

1:09:36

he was so no. I just don't

1:09:38

see I've never seen you walk and move like

1:09:40

that. I kept saying, can you sit down so I can

1:09:43

test

1:09:43

I got all my feelings. I said, oh,

1:09:44

you got I said, sit down on the couch. You're

1:09:47

scared to sit down. Why do I get my weed pulled up?

1:09:49

But No. But it's

1:09:51

just, like, I've never talked about

1:09:53

this with anyone. And thank you for having

1:09:55

a safe space for me to to do

1:09:57

that. And I just I wanna honor

1:09:59

the experience that God gave me. I don't wanna

1:10:01

bash anyone. I don't wanna make somebody

1:10:04

look bad. It is what it is. I had this experience

1:10:06

that you allowed me to have. Of you and guess

1:10:08

what? I didn't give you the most rosy experience

1:10:11

either because I told y'all I was abused

1:10:13

but old baby. I was getting mine in too.

1:10:15

Yeah. So, you know, it's it's just

1:10:17

I'm just happy to be able to share

1:10:20

so that somebody else can have AAA

1:10:23

easier

1:10:23

route. You know what I'm saying? Well, I'm not talking to the noise.

1:10:25

Yeah. No. Ignoring the red

1:10:28

flags. Meddiplisone. Yeah. The magenta

1:10:30

flag. Because they went red. The pink. The pink

1:10:32

ones, the magenta ones, you know Off

1:10:34

white ones. Off white ones. Don't do that. Like,

1:10:36

when when it's staying on there, deal with it

1:10:39

before you say,

1:10:39

yes, you know. So So it was on

1:10:41

the horizon for Old Brely

1:10:44

before, you know, outside of her

1:10:46

eatin'

1:10:46

her. Amazing husband. That's not

1:10:48

my fault. Way to meet you. Your future

1:10:50

husband. And guide her. Husband. And I

1:10:52

get this one. Protecta. And I'll let

1:10:54

this know. Let

1:10:56

me ask you this. Before we've been talking about any professionals

1:10:59

now, what do you look forward to the most? You've

1:11:01

been married before. What are you looking forward

1:11:03

to the modes in your

1:11:05

next and final mirrors?

1:11:08

I'm looking forward to supporting

1:11:12

someone. I'm looking forward to giving. Like,

1:11:15

I used to think that I was used

1:11:17

to was looking for what I was gonna get.

1:11:20

And now, I'm so full of love y'all. I'm

1:11:22

bubbling over. Like, I just yeah. You

1:11:24

know, I'm so I can't wait to level

1:11:26

somebody. Maybe you want your back rub. Maybe

1:11:28

you want a back you want me to you wanna

1:11:30

make some for you. Like, I just wanna love

1:11:32

on somebody. Like, I just I really am looking

1:11:35

forward to giving I'm looking forward

1:11:37

to just having

1:11:39

a teammate. I'm looking forward to dreaming

1:11:41

big with somebody and really, you know,

1:11:44

being purposeful

1:11:46

in kingdom building with my guy.

1:11:49

I'm I'm looking forward to just you

1:11:51

know, some of the couples that sit on

1:11:53

this couch I look at them and I'm like,

1:11:55

yes. You got me too? Yes. This

1:11:57

is what I'm talking about. Even once it went

1:11:59

all the way to the brink -- Yeah. -- and say,

1:12:01

we ain't doing this. And now that I look at

1:12:03

them, I'm like, shut out to take it

1:12:05

in, you or shut out to do the Whit Lowe's.

1:12:07

Whit Lowe's. mean,

1:12:10

I love it. Yeah. I

1:12:12

I just I'm looking forward to giving.

1:12:14

I really and I know it just that sounds so

1:12:16

like, oh, that's all, but it's really really

1:12:18

big to

1:12:19

me.

1:12:19

That is huge. Because I

1:12:22

really want my partner. I really wanna

1:12:24

do this life with someone.

1:12:26

Like, if I can see if I'm like, mom, cool. I could

1:12:28

just dane you know, every now and again

1:12:30

has somebody, I don't want that. Right.

1:12:33

Mm-mm. No dating for me

1:12:35

now. Like, I collect data real quick.

1:12:37

I connect I connect dad to, like,

1:12:41

you say some sideways, I'd be like, Check

1:12:44

please. Like, uh-uh. Like,

1:12:46

I'm running through the thing. We ain't

1:12:49

even getting to the second

1:12:50

date. Like, it's not happening. But

1:12:52

I'm I'm happy. Because our game

1:12:54

is strong.

1:12:55

I mean. Sometimes you think it is too

1:12:57

strong. I said, well, if he meant for me, I guess,

1:12:59

God, you'll bring him back. But Well,

1:13:01

I I know one thing that I saw

1:13:03

this video. Praise the Lord on

1:13:05

your

1:13:06

page.

1:13:07

Father God. Yeah. That's what I said when I saw

1:13:09

it. And you were over

1:13:11

here at Jyrating. Jyrating? He

1:13:13

was over at

1:13:13

Jyrating.

1:13:14

The lies you did. You a Jyrating shaking

1:13:16

your behind in in that in that in that, Karl.

1:13:20

I sent that to my homeboys, and

1:13:22

I said, look at this. Look at this. And what they say?

1:13:24

She filed a book. That's what they said. They said

1:13:26

Good. Lord, how much?

1:13:28

You know what? This

1:13:29

is she fine and more. Do you know

1:13:30

how many people sent that to me and said, Brely, this

1:13:32

looks just like you. And I said, I

1:13:34

wish y'all could go out the country so you can

1:13:36

get They didn't think

1:13:37

that was you? Sexualized. They didn't think that

1:13:39

was you? Yes. Everyone thinks it's me.

1:13:41

And I'm like, it's not me. Oh,

1:13:43

that's not you. I said, what's doing that?

1:13:46

It's not me. This I have a

1:13:48

do doppelgangers they call it. It's

1:13:50

not me. My home body shape just like

1:13:52

mine. And I put, like, everyone

1:13:54

was sending that to my inbox. Lord, we can't

1:13:56

believe you did this. But I

1:13:58

put it up too because I, like, women

1:14:01

like us, we don't get to wear the thong, bathing

1:14:03

suit, and go on the beach. What I do, we shut

1:14:05

the beach down. Little to little. You

1:14:07

know, little blue's matter, but we're little blue to be

1:14:09

on the beach. No nobody can. Ain't nobody looking.

1:14:11

No nobody

1:14:12

can. Let me I wanna wear my

1:14:14

baby's suit too. You wanna wear

1:14:15

a thaw and baby's suit too? You wanna wear a thaw baby's suit? Okay. We'll do it.

1:14:17

Let me. Yes. They will. You see is he that's

1:14:19

why I have to have a special type of husband. The

1:14:21

the one that's gonna be, like, my baby. You

1:14:25

know what I'm saying? But it's gonna be together

1:14:27

now. It's gonna look good now. It's smooth.

1:14:29

I know. Tell me that wasn't you this whole time.

1:14:31

I was never you so wrong. So

1:14:33

much fun with watching you, text it to your

1:14:35

friends. That was great. That's it.

1:14:37

I don't know. You ain't introduced me to none of them. Man,

1:14:39

I didn't wanna meet somebody. I

1:14:42

don't know. But yeah.

1:14:44

But I would totally do that though. I wanna

1:14:46

be that free. Yeah. You know, I want

1:14:48

to be with someone who really

1:14:51

allows Brely to be, Brailey,

1:14:52

like, yeah. That's my wife.

1:14:54

I can't even have him sit there for a whole

1:14:56

week since the Prince Albert.

1:14:57

Can you enjoy yourself? How do you tell me what?

1:14:59

About nine thirty

1:15:00

three times. I was

1:15:02

driving that woman out in views. Yeah. It's

1:15:04

on your page. Hope

1:15:06

you get paid off the reels because I To

1:15:09

be more careful. No. Look at

1:15:12

this. Look at this. Look at this. No. I'm not

1:15:14

that because I'm not that free. I

1:15:16

probably would do it, but it wouldn't be no footage.

1:15:19

There would be no footage. Well There'll

1:15:22

be no On the Internet. It wouldn't be

1:15:24

on it. The footage would be in the phone, but that don't

1:15:26

end

1:15:26

it. So yeah. That that's kinda

1:15:28

Oh, that is funny that you said there. That's

1:15:30

hilarious. Yeah. That's hilarious. Well,

1:15:33

listen, Brely. I really enjoyed talking to

1:15:35

you today. Make sure y'all the dear

1:15:37

future Wifey, and

1:15:39

the supporters y'all really support

1:15:42

our guests. Make

1:15:44

sure y'all go out on Amazon, get this

1:15:46

book, the ABCs of

1:15:49

IMs. Like

1:15:51

I said, I read a couple of them. You gave me

1:15:53

this book a couple of

1:15:55

what was it? When you used to go around it? Back

1:15:58

in twenty twenty. Yeah.

1:15:59

I gave you, but when it came in. Yeah. And I was looking

1:16:01

through it that day. It was at at dinner where you had this

1:16:03

group of people. Mhmm. You used to you used to do those,

1:16:05

let's call

1:16:06

mine. Master. Master Mastermind.

1:16:08

Mastermind. Yeah. And so that was really, really

1:16:10

dope. Mastermind conversation with and I still do

1:16:12

them. When I go to different cities, and

1:16:15

I'm gonna be there working on a project that

1:16:17

might take a day out, and I'll

1:16:19

throw up a mastermind. I'll get online and say, okay,

1:16:21

guys. You wanna come to go to my website,

1:16:23

evans dot com, you know, schedule

1:16:25

and come back dinner with me. And I only do,

1:16:27

like, five

1:16:28

people.

1:16:28

Yeah. So it can be very intimate and we can like,

1:16:30

I can get to know you and I've made

1:16:32

some amazing friends that

1:16:34

way, and so that's yeah.

1:16:36

That's cool. Mhmm. Nice to do those. I call it

1:16:39

Brely and breathe, and I go to a city

1:16:41

and and do that. And I need to do more of those while I'm I

1:16:43

need to do more of them too, but COVID kinda

1:16:45

shut me down. I was like, how

1:16:47

are you doing?

1:16:48

Facebook. You know? Right. Only you

1:16:50

like that. You'd be all nervous. But listen.

1:16:52

Love you a lot. I love you too. I'm proud

1:16:54

of you. I'm touching the green with with

1:16:57

you on god connecting you with your

1:16:59

purpose partners so that y'all can serve each other.

1:17:01

I know I hear a lot about you wanting to serve

1:17:04

but I want that to be reciprocated for you

1:17:06

and you find a man that has a servant's

1:17:08

heart that serves

1:17:09

you. I want him to out serve

1:17:11

you.

1:17:12

Come on. Out love you. I want him

1:17:14

to out honor you. I want him to

1:17:16

to go after god to get to

1:17:18

you. So that you can actually experience

1:17:20

what is like to truly beloved by a man

1:17:23

of God. And So I need to tissue.

1:17:27

Got the b. I got the b model.

1:17:29

I really wanna know what that's like.

1:17:31

Yeah. III want that for you because

1:17:34

I've been knowing you for a while and you're just a

1:17:36

very good hearted person. Like, you're

1:17:39

just you're just very genuine. You

1:17:41

don't have any heir about you. You just like

1:17:43

and that's the reason why your

1:17:46

last the guy that you said yes to

1:17:48

was able to penetrate your heart

1:17:50

is because you are so open and vulnerable

1:17:53

and you desire love and you

1:17:55

desire marriage. And I

1:17:57

love the fact that you're in the industry that

1:18:00

marriage the success of marriage is

1:18:02

very you

1:18:03

know, is is waning. You can't you

1:18:05

give you be married for two years and how they would. Like,

1:18:07

oh, you did great.

1:18:08

That's a lot. Okay. Right. You know what I'm saying? But

1:18:10

you you're surrounded in this industry, but

1:18:12

you still have the pure pureness of

1:18:14

heart. Because you saw this representation

1:18:16

of your parents where you say, no, I've seen it

1:18:18

work. Mhmm. And marriage isn't perfect, but

1:18:21

it's but it's worth it. And Well, I'm not

1:18:23

on you

1:18:23

that. Hey, y'all give it up for my homie.

1:18:25

Brely Evans. Y'all. Thank

1:18:28

you.

1:18:29

Ladarious. Thrust it

1:18:31

suddenly into child protective services

1:18:33

in twenty fifteen. My nephew,

1:18:36

Black, a boy. The

1:18:38

likelihood of being adopted outside of kinship,

1:18:41

slim to none. Our mind,

1:18:43

sixteen years old, black. A

1:18:46

boy with five years in the false

1:18:48

care system before I even knew his

1:18:50

name. The likelihood of

1:18:52

ever been adopted

1:18:54

Yep. You guessed it. Slim to

1:18:56

none. While

1:18:58

Ladarian and Armani were trying to survive

1:19:00

and barely thrive in an over populated

1:19:02

and underfunded foster care system, I was

1:19:04

living my own life, doing well professionally, having

1:19:07

been a single father with a daughter who at

1:19:09

that point was doing well in college. It

1:19:11

was my time to live my Wifey. Right? Wrong.

1:19:15

I felt unsettled, tireless,

1:19:18

agitated, there are just

1:19:20

too many of our black children

1:19:23

stuck in ambiguity and

1:19:25

in the limbo of the false care system.

1:19:27

In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted

1:19:29

my nephew, Ladarious. Fast forward

1:19:32

to twenty nineteen, I had no ties to

1:19:34

this other young king, but I felt God instructed

1:19:36

me to adopt him also in Alabama. Starting

1:19:39

over with parenting should have been enough

1:19:41

right, working with various foster care and adoption

1:19:43

agencies to help bring awareness to the

1:19:45

count this young black kings in the fossil

1:19:48

care system should have decreased my

1:19:50

agitation. Right? Join the

1:19:52

board of directors of advanced adoption

1:19:54

in an organization that helps find permanent,

1:19:56

adoptive homes for children in foster

1:19:58

care should have led to some type of resolve.

1:20:01

Right? No. Not

1:20:03

at all. None of it felt

1:20:05

like I had done enough. I

1:20:07

now realized that every

1:20:09

one of those experiences was land

1:20:12

the fundamental foundation for my life mission.

1:20:15

Kingdom royale. Kingdom

1:20:17

royale will be a luxury state of

1:20:19

the art home for foster boys. Our

1:20:21

first location will be in Dallas

1:20:23

Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the

1:20:25

whole person approach that instills identity,

1:20:28

empowers them to advocate for themselves

1:20:30

and enlightens them regarding new perspectives

1:20:33

and limitless options that they

1:20:35

thought were impossible. Though

1:20:38

the young kings will attend the local public schools

1:20:40

that are in auctionity to King of Royal,

1:20:43

our at home curriculum will broaden

1:20:45

their worldview through participating in the

1:20:47

arts, attending various cultural events.

1:20:50

Learning about and engaging in multifaceted

1:20:52

discussions about Kearney events and even

1:20:55

a relevant historical six, introducing

1:20:57

them to gardening and landscaping and

1:20:59

even caring for our animals on

1:21:01

our farm and on-site stables. We

1:21:04

just launched our startup capital

1:21:06

campaign with the goal of raising two point

1:21:09

eight million dollars and now why two point eight million dollars?

1:21:11

Well, in twenty seventeen, I created a web

1:21:13

series in which I performed random acts

1:21:16

of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

1:21:18

One of the most notable successes was that

1:21:20

one of the videos went viral garnering

1:21:23

twenty eight million views.

1:21:25

However, one of my biggest regrets

1:21:27

is that didn't raise a single dollar to

1:21:30

help and implementing a more sustainable

1:21:32

plan for the homeless community. So

1:21:34

throughout the years, with much

1:21:36

remorse, our reflect that I'm not

1:21:38

maximizing that moment. I knew if

1:21:41

at that time just ten percent

1:21:43

of the viewers donated one dollar, we

1:21:45

would have raised at least two point

1:21:47

eight million dollars that could have really

1:21:49

established long term support for the homeless

1:21:51

community or at least started a

1:21:53

long term initiative to do so.

1:21:56

This is my do over. This

1:21:59

is our new beginning. Together,

1:22:01

we can attack this at the root. By

1:22:03

specifically helping our homeless

1:22:05

black boys who are already disproportionately

1:22:09

represented in the American foster care

1:22:11

system. I'm the Terrace r field.

1:22:13

I've been nominated for three regional

1:22:15

Emmys documented my work with the homeless

1:22:17

as well as my personal adoption journey.

1:22:20

Despite those accolades, the

1:22:22

greatest award for me is

1:22:24

truly providing the infrastructure for

1:22:27

a trans formed life. Visit

1:22:29

king of royale dot com for more details.

1:22:32

Crown of king and make a donation.

1:22:35

Today.

1:22:42

Man, I hope you all enjoyed this episode. Listen,

1:22:45

this has been an amazing week. Last

1:22:48

week, I signed to

1:22:51

Jen Miller as my literary

1:22:53

agent. So now it's time to work

1:22:55

on that book. I thank God for

1:22:57

that. That's something I've been praying to NASA God

1:22:59

for. For a long time.

1:23:02

So I hope you all saw the video that I dropped

1:23:04

the other day on my YouTube channel.

1:23:07

Yes. On March the twenty fifth, we

1:23:09

will be in in Atlanta at Newbirth

1:23:11

Church. Make sure you pull up. We're gonna have

1:23:13

an amazing time. We've assembled a dynamic

1:23:16

group of panelists, men.

1:23:20

Men. Men. Men. Men. Men. Men. If you

1:23:22

are watching this or listening to it,

1:23:24

please come. I don't want it to

1:23:26

be a room full of women. I want men

1:23:28

there. I want that good energy from

1:23:31

both sexes to be present in the building.

1:23:33

So please, please. Pull up is free.

1:23:35

You have no excuse. It's gonna be a

1:23:37

groanful of amazing, beautiful,

1:23:40

successful women, and it's free.

1:23:43

You have no excuse. So come out.

1:23:45

My birthday is coming up March the twenty

1:23:47

ninth. So this podcast

1:23:49

is perfect perfectly time because

1:23:52

it's my birthday weekend. And,

1:23:55

yeah, a lot of y'all been DM and me asked me,

1:23:57

what can you get me for my birthday? I've always

1:23:59

shied away from that over the last couple of years.

1:24:02

While doing the podcast. Normally,

1:24:04

just told people to donate to King Royall,

1:24:06

which they did. And people, like, well, I

1:24:08

wanna get you something. So I went and got a

1:24:10

PO box. Yeah.

1:24:13

I went and got a PO box yesterday.

1:24:16

And if you wanna send something,

1:24:18

send it to dear Wifey PO

1:24:20

box, thirty nine thirty

1:24:22

seven Cedar Hill, Texas 75106.

1:24:27

That's Deer Wifey. PO

1:24:29

Box thirty nine thirty seven Cedar

1:24:31

Hill, Texas 75106.

1:24:34

Well, here's my favorite part of the podcast where

1:24:36

I speak to my future Wifey.

1:24:41

Dear future Wifey, these letters

1:24:43

are getting harder and harder to write.

1:24:45

Oftentimes, I sit at my computer for

1:24:47

hours contemplating what to write and

1:24:49

welcome the distractions that break the intense

1:24:52

thoughts of your absence. I

1:24:55

wish you were here. Success

1:24:57

is bittersweet when you don't have that

1:24:59

special someone to share those moments with.

1:25:02

Seeing you sitting on the couch, talking

1:25:05

on the phone when I come home, then

1:25:07

hurriedly stayed, and girl my man is home,

1:25:09

talk to you later. That's what

1:25:11

I live for, to be prioritized.

1:25:15

To be celebrated and not just tolerated,

1:25:18

reciprocity. There's

1:25:21

a quote by Orson whales that states

1:25:24

We're born alone, we live

1:25:26

alone, we die alone. There's

1:25:29

a quote by Orsula whales that stays We're

1:25:31

born alone. We live alone. We die

1:25:34

alone. Only through our

1:25:36

love and friendships can we create the illusion

1:25:38

for the moment that we're not alone.

1:25:41

Looking forward to the moment we create

1:25:43

that illusion with each other,

1:25:47

your future husband. I

1:25:50

hope you enjoyed this episode of The Deer

1:25:52

Future Podcast. Remember, be

1:25:54

lit, live, intentionally, and

1:25:56

transparently.

1:25:57

And don't stop loving. Make sure to

1:26:00

subscribe to our dear future Wifey YouTube

1:26:02

channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts,

1:26:04

Google Podcasts, Spotify and Stitcher. We

1:26:06

welcome your support. Simply share our podcast

1:26:08

with your friends and family.