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1:28

Hello and welcome to Deere Hank and

1:30

John. No worries. I prefer to think of it Deere,

1:33

John, and Hank. It's a podcast where two

1:35

brothers answer your questions, give you your best advice, and bring

1:37

you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC

1:39

Wimbledon. John -- Yeah. -- you know how to make

1:41

an octopus laugh? I

1:43

don't. You gotta give them ten tickles.

1:48

because of ten tentacles and

1:50

ten tickles. Yeah. I don't actually

1:52

giving octopus an octopus tentacles doesn't

1:55

actually help it because it's already got a bunch. But

1:57

Right.

1:58

Well,

1:58

it's still it's still

1:59

funny.

2:01

No. It's not. But you've identified

2:03

why it's not funny, which I feel like is the first

2:05

step. It doesn't that doesn't work for the first step.

2:08

It only works one way. Yes. For

2:10

the joke to be good, it has to work two ways, but I

2:12

would argue that for the joke to be good, it has

2:14

to not fundamentally be

2:16

upon. That's

2:19

true. I definitely This is a

2:21

difference in worldview. Yeah.

2:23

Well, we're doing it with everybody's themselves

2:25

as Katherine says. I've been thinking about

2:27

octopodes, octopi, octopuses

2:30

because You

2:33

and I were just talking Hank about how

2:35

humanity is the only known

2:37

species. So far in the

2:39

history of Earth, to be like,

2:41

you know what? Maybe we should stop

2:44

going for more. Right?

2:46

Like, every species is not It's like a unit,

2:48

just for clarity. No. No.

2:50

but but definitely individuals. Yeah.

2:53

And and like that we are concerned

2:56

about the implications of

2:58

us going for more which at least

3:00

from what we have observed is not something

3:02

that can be said about deer or raccoons

3:06

or

3:06

cyanobacteria. Yeah.

3:08

Yeah. No. It definitely it definitely

3:10

seems like there's a pretty big pressure

3:13

toward, like, evolution you

3:16

know, the the genes that get passed on

3:18

are the ones that that get passed on. So

3:20

if you don't have a drive to do that, then

3:23

you don't then your

3:25

your traits don't get passed on. That's how it

3:27

works. Yeah. And there's some fundamental desire

3:31

that

3:31

don't think we all the time understand

3:34

or think about to not

3:36

just make more of ourselves, but

3:38

to make to create

3:40

out of the materials of universe something which

3:42

did not exist before as William Faulkner

3:45

put it. But then we started talking

3:47

about how

3:48

Actually, it's possible that we aren't

3:50

the only species to have ever been like,

3:52

hold up. This may have gotten a little

3:54

bit out of control. And that maybe

3:56

like there was a group of cephalopods

3:59

who had a whole octopus

4:02

realization. Well And I think that this,

4:04

like, this this fascinates me because

4:06

if it's like on the bottom of the ocean,

4:08

we wouldn't know if it was long enough to go.

4:11

We wouldn't know. How

4:12

would we know? especially

4:13

if a lot of their monumental

4:16

Monument making -- Yeah. -- assuming

4:19

that they were even into monumental Monument

4:21

making, a lot of that could have

4:23

been things that were intentionally

4:26

made to be temporary. It

4:28

could have been that that was part of their

4:31

worldview. And so they're, like, built out

4:33

of shells, and so we just, like, find a bunch

4:35

of shells and realize, yeah, a bunch of shells.

4:37

Right. Right. And we come up with some explanation

4:39

for why, like, the tides did it. But no, it

4:41

was the it was the octopus civilization.

4:45

It seems like to me that that's the only plausible

4:47

one. Like, I think if Right. Dynaswords

4:50

had had, like, government

4:53

and democracy and stuff. We would have

4:55

found some of their voting stations, but I

4:57

feel like right octopuses maybe got

4:59

away with having a civilization. And then

5:01

I can total like, having seen a few octopuses

5:03

in my life, I can totally imagine a situation

5:06

where, like, they would get together and they would be

5:08

like, you know what? Things

5:09

have gotten pretty crazy here. For

5:11

a lot of wars and the specialization

5:14

of labor. Whatever Octopus Twitter

5:16

was. They were like, this is a bad news. us

5:18

Octopus Twitter where we just yell at each other,

5:20

and then we let the most powerful Octopus in

5:23

the world become the sole owner of Octopus

5:25

Twitter. And, like, maybe we just maybe this

5:27

whole thing with radical structural

5:30

inequality is the wrong path forward,

5:32

and we need to just chill out and be octopuses

5:35

again. And it does seem

5:37

like that, like, that makes sense because

5:39

they seem smarter than they need to be.

5:42

Like an octopus just seems smarter than

5:44

it needs to be. So it's like it's like they decided

5:46

one day. How about instead we all

5:48

live for two years? we're pretty happy

5:51

the whole time. We play a bit.

5:53

We chill out and mostly we just sort of

5:55

zone. Right. Like, how about,

5:57

like, the way that humans feel when

5:59

they're

5:59

playing like level seven on

6:02

Tetris is

6:03

the way that we should feel all the time. All the

6:05

time. That's like,

6:08

what if instead of inventing Tetris,

6:10

we just had that vibe overall.

6:13

And then one octopus was like, but I like

6:15

the fact that we can keep the sharks out of

6:18

the town. And

6:19

they're like -- Right. -- Steve? Right.

6:21

You're

6:22

gonna have to go. We

6:24

outvoted you. Your food

6:26

now. Give me ten tickles. That

6:31

was that was

6:33

like the ceremony that

6:35

was immediately preceded. the

6:38

renegade octopus is being thrown outside

6:40

the city walls to be eaten immediately by

6:43

sharks. Yeah. Steve,

6:45

the Renegade octopus would have to stand

6:47

at the gates, and then ten

6:51

friends and ten enemies would each give

6:53

him a tickle. then they would open

6:55

up the gate and, like, shoot them

6:57

out into the shoot them out into the regular

6:59

ocean where the sharks await. Yeah.

7:02

because, you know, they had their own that's the thing.

7:04

Like, they had their own immorality. They

7:06

had their own structural horrors.

7:09

You know, of course, they had their own ways

7:12

of of of, like, kicking kicking kicking kicking kicking

7:14

kicking kicking kicking kicking kicking kicking kicking kicking

7:16

kicking kicking kicking. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

7:18

So it but just by virtue of having morality,

7:21

they also had evil

7:23

unjust struck and eventually they

7:26

were like, hey, instead of reforming these structures

7:28

and trying to make them better, which by the way, I think is

7:30

the right call for humans. Just to be clear,

7:32

Uh-huh. Maybe the octopuses were like,

7:34

god. Let's just You know what? Let's let's

7:38

just be octopuses again. Yeah. They

7:40

figured out a switch to flipping their brains where they're just

7:42

like feeling okay. And

7:44

that's -- Awesome. -- that's the way.

7:46

that, like, once a year without our knowing

7:48

it, the the the switch flips

7:51

and they all meet somewhere in the ocean

7:53

and they they vote about whether to

7:55

continue to be octopuses or whether

7:58

to have a civilization again. I

8:00

think it's better that way. Civilization is the wrong

8:02

word, but you know what I mean? it's better that

8:04

way. Like, there's no there's no doubt in my mind that

8:06

all this is made up. So it might as well that might be that

8:09

should be the thing. For

8:11

sure. because I think that's a really good movie.

8:14

Right. What Do they even have to get together or

8:16

do they have some kinda, like, they just, like, sync

8:18

their tentacles into the soil and they can

8:20

communicate through Yeah. do it telemetry

8:23

or something. Right. Yeah. They do it right.

8:25

They do it through, like, fungal networks, like, how

8:27

trees talk. And so they're

8:29

they're like, May fourteenth

8:32

time to time to the big vote.

8:35

I vote to continue being an octopus and

8:37

not living in his in a city.

8:39

And then but, like, every year, like, it's

8:41

getting more fifty fifty because they're looking

8:44

at us and they're like, we Yes. We're gonna have to do

8:46

something about these people. Right. Exactly. They're like,

8:48

swimming down and looking at us. They're starting to

8:50

be a problem. They made a Netflix documentary about

8:52

it. Yeah. Now a

8:54

bunch more doing it because they like Netflix

8:57

documentary? Yeah. The octopuses are, like,

8:59

they're finding out our big secret. And so

9:01

maybe we need to move to

9:03

cities again And then there will be the great

9:05

rivalry between the humans, the octopuses,

9:07

and humans will finally finally

9:10

be united. That's right. Because there will be a

9:12

common enemy. Yeah. Yeah.

9:14

Com They're fairly big and quite

9:16

strong. So we'll see how

9:18

we do. Big, I mean, they could they could take us.

9:21

they could take us. They've been around lot

9:23

longer than we have. I mean, they're a hundred

9:25

percent muscle. Like,

9:26

they just are they don't even have bones.

9:29

It's all muscle.

9:30

I think it'd be kinda great if

9:32

we agreed that the oceans were

9:34

gonna be for them and the land and the freshwater

9:36

was gonna be for us. And we were like,

9:39

starting now, we can only eat things from

9:41

the land and the fresh water because our

9:43

octopus overlords have taken control

9:45

of the oceans. I mean, unfortunately, I

9:48

know too much about how where calories come from

9:50

to think that would be an easy transition, but

9:52

I think we could do it eventually. Good party.

9:55

Let's answer some questions from our listeners.

9:58

John, this first question

9:59

is from Anne who asks Dear Hank and John, why

10:02

is it harder to wake up on days that are cold,

10:04

rainy, or dark. It's like my

10:06

body can sense that the weather is gray

10:08

and says no thanks before

10:10

I'm even conscious and fights to say asleep

10:13

Why is that? Can I blame science? Greens

10:15

and gables?

10:18

And we're mammals. Yeah. We are.

10:21

It's

10:21

so hard to remember this on a

10:23

minute by minute basis. I know. But

10:25

we are your mammals. It's so weird.

10:27

much We are so

10:29

much more like kangaroos than we

10:31

are like computers. We are

10:33

mammals.

10:35

So we do mammal stuff. Mhmm.

10:38

Yeah. Like, we put we put recently

10:40

killed plant and animal matter into

10:43

our mouth holes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we

10:45

use that We use like the long We use the

10:47

slow fire of burning it inside of us

10:49

to

10:49

listen to podcasts. Yes.

10:53

And so when we wake up and it's

10:55

cold or rainy or dark, it's

10:57

like when a fox wakes up and it's cold

10:59

or rainy or dark. There's a part of the fox

11:01

that's like, I'd rather not. Well,

11:04

and it's probably might be better. To

11:06

just rather not if you if there's no other drive,

11:08

like, if you're not currently having a biological

11:11

need to definitely It's cold and rainy and dark

11:13

stay in. That's gonna be Right? It's gonna be expensive

11:16

metabolically to deal with that. Exactly. So

11:18

it's a value calculation that your mammal

11:21

body is making that Mammel

11:24

wise, it's gonna be more work

11:26

than it usually would be to deal with

11:28

this cold and rain and dark. Mhmm.

11:31

And later,

11:32

It may not be cold or rainy or dark.

11:35

And so you may be able to get the same

11:37

good stuff, the same recently deceased plant

11:39

and animal matter into your mouthful. without

11:41

having to do the extra work of being

11:43

cold and wet. That's

11:46

right. So then there's also,

11:48

like, the it it is like biochemical

11:52

when it comes to light detection specifically.

11:54

So, like, if it's warming your house, you probably don't

11:57

know what's Well, I do. I mean, I know

11:59

it's cold outside when it's cold outside. I can

12:01

feel it coming through the walls. It's cold

12:03

in Montana. But we

12:05

also, like, have very sophisticated light detection

12:07

systems that, like, you don't necessarily even

12:10

need your eyes to be open for, but also

12:12

you you probably have your eyes open a little bit

12:14

before you technically wake all the way up.

12:17

And so you're getting that you're getting that feedback.

12:19

So during the the dark months, that we certainly

12:21

have at these latitudes where I am. Your

12:25

body knows when the sun is coming up.

12:27

And There's there's a thing

12:29

called the suprachiasmatic nuclei.

12:32

It's in the hypothalamus. Mhmm. I've got

12:34

a response as a Too light -- Yeah. -- that

12:36

goes through the retina. and it used that to

12:38

figure out what your body should be doing sleep wise.

12:40

So like it's a real it's a part of your brain

12:43

that's connected to your eye receptors.

12:46

Yeah. Wild. That is pretty

12:48

wild. And it's called the suprachiasmatic nuclei,

12:50

which that's a great name. Usually

12:53

yeah. Biologists are so notoriously bad

12:56

at naming things, but that is a really

12:58

high quality name. It's hard to forget.

13:00

Do octopuses have one of those hink I imagine

13:02

they don't because they they they

13:03

aren't as light sensitive as we are. Their brains

13:06

well, also their brains are very different, so that

13:08

they well, this is one of the coolest

13:10

things about octopus. This is they have very complicated

13:12

brains that that evolved entirely

13:14

separately from ours. Like the nearest common ancestor

13:16

of cephalopodin and a mammal was very deep

13:19

and did not have a big brain. So their brains

13:21

are super different, so I'll be very surprised if they

13:23

had any analogous structure.

13:25

Cool. Well, this next question

13:27

comes from Sophie, who writes John and Hank, I'm a preschool

13:29

teacher and recently one of my students asked

13:31

why if I jump, I come back down, but

13:33

if I hold my arm up, it stays up.

13:37

I tried to explain gravity to a three year old but

13:39

thought it was a pretty profound question that you could

13:41

answer gravity and existential dread,

13:43

Sophie. It's interesting that, like,

13:46

putting my arm up, it doesn't

13:48

feel like it's gonna come down on its

13:50

own. So that like, so there's

13:52

the question of why I go I I come back

13:54

down, which is very complicated and weird and has

13:57

to do with the curvature of spacetime. But

13:59

then there's the the question of, like, why

14:01

my body doesn't really have to work to

14:03

keep my arm up even though it definitely

14:05

is working, but I do not notice

14:07

that work. Wait. I do not hold your

14:09

arm directly out from your

14:11

shoulder out to my shoulder, it

14:13

wants to fall like crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're

14:15

saying, like, if you make the Wait up. The

14:18

You're saying The old goal was good. Yeah.

14:21

Or I'm like, missus Johnson, raising your hand

14:23

to ask a question. Now what I

14:25

would have this three year old do is I would say,

14:28

well, let's see about that three year old.

14:30

Put that hand up and

14:32

call me in an hour.

14:38

III raked about eight thousand pounds

14:40

of leaves yesterday, so I'm already feeling it. Yeah.

14:43

I it will eventually start

14:46

to want to return to

14:48

equilibrium. Mhmm. But even then

14:50

there's But you're just sort of sort of like keeping it balanced

14:53

up there more than holding it up there. It's

14:55

like like a broom on your fingertips, you know?

14:57

Yeah.

14:57

It was balanced. Yeah. I

15:00

but III

15:01

don't think that we need to think

15:03

about it primarily as gravity. If we're trying to explain

15:05

it to three year olds, like, I don't think we need to talk about the

15:07

curvature of spacetime. But but

15:10

it is a weird idea. Right? Because

15:12

then why is it relatively little work

15:14

to stand up or to sit down

15:17

rather than lying down? Like,

15:18

it doesn't feel like effort

15:20

to be seeded for most people most

15:22

of the time. But especially preschoolers

15:26

who are tiny -- Yeah. -- have don't

15:28

have a lot of body to move around. and they have

15:30

a massive amount of energy relative to

15:32

their mass. Right? Like Yeah. --

15:35

their -- Yeah. like Sonic the Hedgehog

15:37

is based on a three year old.

15:39

And

15:39

-- Uh-huh. -- yeah. think that

15:42

the answer is muscles.

15:45

So I wouldn't talk about gravity

15:47

or space time, I would talk about

15:50

muscles and how muscles do

15:52

work.

15:53

And, yeah, you are you are holding that

15:55

up. But when you jump there, there's nothing to hold you

15:57

up.

15:57

Exactly. Yeah. You

15:59

are

15:59

holding your arm up. You are holding yourself

16:02

up when you stand, but when you jump. There's

16:05

nothing touching the ground to hold you

16:07

up. Does

16:07

that work for a three year old?

16:10

I think so. Yeah. I think so.

16:12

I haven't had a three year old in so long,

16:14

jeez. I know.

16:16

Yeah. I mean, it's been it's been been a while

16:18

even for me. This

16:21

next question comes from Jay John. I loved this

16:23

one and it was hard to get to the bottom of.

16:25

Dear Hank and John, do magnets ever

16:28

stop magnetting -- Mhmm. -- pumpkins

16:30

and penguins j.

16:32

So

16:33

well I'm not sure

16:37

But here's something that I did not realize

16:39

that I figured out while researching this question,

16:41

is that all natural magnets

16:44

So most magnets we you'll deal with are

16:46

are created intentionally by people.

16:48

Right.

16:48

So, like, a new Endymion magnets or, like, the

16:50

magnet that you stick out, like, with the, like, the black background

16:53

that's just like film, that's

16:55

a that's a artificially induced

16:57

magnet created by humans doing

16:59

human stuff. But there are natural

17:01

magnets who you know this because like

17:03

there before we could do that, there were like compasses

17:06

that used load stones that were

17:08

magnetite. a mineral that is magnetic.

17:11

And that was

17:12

recognized fairly early on because it's

17:14

super weird. Yeah. And and

17:17

very magical. Right. Like,

17:19

that must have felt very much like magic.

17:21

To be fair, not to quote the

17:23

insane clown fussy, but magnets still

17:25

feel a little magical to me? If

17:27

they do. Yeah. They yeah.

17:29

Yeah. I I have not really gotten there. I

17:32

think I know it's people who are in

17:34

it enough that they're like, oh, yeah. No. That's just a normal

17:36

phenomenon. I'm like, I can't push

17:38

these two things together. Exactly. They

17:40

fight. It's it's invisible.

17:42

As weird. There is an invisible power

17:44

that's keeping these apart.

17:47

Yep. So but So

17:49

this natural Like, in order for a natural

17:51

magnet to form, I

17:54

I was like, does that happen naturally? Like,

17:56

would it just, like, do these atoms

17:58

line up in a way that the spins of their electrons

18:01

blah blah blah or whatever? And

18:03

no, it it happens because

18:05

they form in our magnetic field

18:08

of the Earth. So the Earth

18:10

was the magnet that induced the magnetism

18:13

in the load stone, in in the iron

18:15

so that it has a magnetic it

18:17

carries basically the earth's magnetic field

18:20

kind of. Like, the the field induced

18:24

the dipole. It induced it to

18:26

have a direction to its magnetic field.

18:28

And so if it was on a planet that didn't

18:30

have a magnetic field, there would be no natural magnet.

18:33

whoa. And that so, like, that

18:35

says to me that maybe,

18:37

like, just the random jostling's in

18:39

energy of not being an absolute zero

18:42

might eventually mean once

18:44

it's taken out of the presence of the earth's magnetic

18:46

field that probably over

18:50

the very long scheme

18:52

of billions of years of or hundreds

18:54

of billions of years the future of the universe,

18:57

probably a

18:58

natural magnet or any magnet would lose

19:00

its magnetism, but I'm not sure. I couldn't

19:03

figure it out.

19:04

But we're talking about very large

19:06

time skits. Yeah. Yeah.

19:08

Yeah. For sure. It's not something that would happen

19:11

unless you intentionally did it, which you can do in

19:13

a number of ways. Could you get rid

19:15

of the earth's magnetic field on purpose? No.

19:18

Not yet. No. We do not we we

19:20

cannot do that. And I think we are a long

19:23

way away from having the power to do that. Great.

19:25

Let's never learn how to do that. You can

19:27

potentially create a kind

19:29

of artificial magnetic field for another planet.

19:32

It would be like an external device

19:34

that would sit between the sun and the planet,

19:37

and that would

19:38

sort of block

19:40

the solar radiation. But that's

19:43

definitely within, like, sort of,

19:45

imaginable human technology, whereas

19:47

stopping the Earth's core from doing stuff is

19:49

not within human and actionable

19:51

human technology. It'd be easier to pull the planet up, it

19:53

feels like. Well, speaking of

19:55

all that, I have a related question. Sciencey

19:58

from John, who writes Dear John

19:59

and Hank, Do I wait less on a mountain?

20:02

My engineering friends and I have been arguing about

20:04

this for thirty minutes.

20:05

Help. Moggles and Mountains, John.

20:09

Yeah. Yeah. You do that. Right? We have a

20:11

mountain. Yeah. Yeah. And the higher the mountain,

20:14

the less you weigh. Right? Yeah. And

20:16

then if you have the right, if you had a mountain

20:18

Like, if you had a theoretical mountain that

20:21

went all

20:22

the way into

20:23

outer space, I

20:25

think actually you'd have a big problem. now

20:27

that I think about it. You know, but

20:29

the you don't have to worry about the issue here.

20:33

The the issue would be air. Right? But

20:35

also, like, if you had if you had a piece

20:37

of the planet that pierced the atmosphere, wouldn't

20:39

that be a problem? No.

20:41

no

20:42

Wait. Whoa. You could have

20:44

a planet

20:45

where almost all the planet is

20:48

has

20:48

an atmosphere. But then if you climb

20:50

up a really, really, really tall mountain

20:53

you are in space.

20:56

Yeah?

20:56

Are

20:57

you sure that sounds wrong? Doesn't

21:01

the atmosphere definitionally steer

21:04

the atmos? It's

21:06

it's it's I don't know what the atmos

21:08

is. But it definitely spheres

21:11

the center of the earth. So it spheres

21:14

the center of the body. Whoa. It does

21:16

not like head up on over whatever there is.

21:18

Oh, whoa. Whoa. That's why it that's why the air pressure

21:20

is much less at the top of Manuela. You're

21:23

telling me because it's higher up in the atmo.

21:25

You're telling me that the atmosphere is

21:28

not actually an

21:29

atmosphere for Earth's surface. It's

21:31

an atmosphere for Earth's core.

21:35

Yeah, I guess. Whoa. It's

21:37

at a Yeah. Seriously? Well,

21:39

it's Like, it's it well, it's subject to it's for

21:41

the exact same reason as you wait less at the top

21:43

of the mountain. you are being it

21:46

it the atmosphere falls like any

21:48

like water would falls into a pool

21:50

at the lowest point it can. You're

21:52

telling me that I could build AAAA

21:55

spire -- Uh-huh. -- a tower of

21:57

Babbel, if you will. Yeah. Just that goes

21:59

all the way to the moon. Well,

22:02

Okay. Sure. Just as a hypothetical.

22:05

To the moon's orbit. Let's say to the moon's orbit

22:07

because we're cut we we create problem with the

22:09

moon moving around to otherwise Right. If if it went

22:11

to the moon, then it would sort of, like, rotate around

22:14

Earth, then it would have to move towards the land.

22:16

Does it move from where yeah. That

22:18

would be an issue. but you're telling me that I

22:20

could build from the surface of Earth,

22:22

a tower that went to the moon's

22:24

orbit. And this would not in any

22:26

way affect the atmosphere. it would not

22:29

really pierce the atmosphere because the

22:31

atmosphere isn't pierceable as

22:33

such. Right. Yeah. It would I mean, it would affect the atmosphere

22:35

and then it would create, like, winds would current

22:37

around it. Like, when winds blew blew

22:39

across it, it would create currents

22:41

like any like a mountain does, you

22:43

know. It like the

22:45

Right. But it wouldn't it wouldn't, like,

22:47

have any kind of catastrophic impact

22:50

on the existence of the act fact,

22:52

I gotta poke a hole in the bubble of Man,

22:54

I mean, the movie spaceballs fundamentally

22:58

lied to me in in a way

23:00

that I didn't know until just now. Like,

23:02

I so assumed that it was correct.

23:05

I thought that it was a documentary Hank.

23:09

Oh, gosh. I am really astonished to

23:11

know that you can pierce the atmosphere and nothing

23:13

bad happens. Like, you could grow a mountain

23:16

and I intend to now. Yeah. Well, there's, like,

23:18

there's a there's a, you

23:20

know, a theoretical idea for efficient

23:22

space travel. called the space elevator

23:25

that is that. It's just a big,

23:27

wow, big

23:28

tower basically that goes up to

23:30

a a body that orbits the earth and

23:32

connects the planet to that. And then

23:34

you sort of like get out of the gravity well that way.

23:37

Wow. And just by climbing

23:39

the tether.

23:40

Wow. And it's a real idea that people think

23:42

maybe someday would happen. I don't think it

23:44

would because if it broke and fell

23:46

and as you may have heard what goes up does

23:49

come down. On the way down,

23:52

it would do so much

23:54

damage. Like, maybe, like,

23:56

it's just like building a doomsday

23:58

device. It's a it's

24:00

It's very fun in theory, but

24:02

thinking about what would go wrong

24:04

if it did go wrong, I

24:06

don't like. Well, Hank, you love to

24:09

spoil parties

24:10

with your big what

24:13

if it went wrong ideas? And

24:15

I'll tell you what, Hank, nobody ever became

24:17

a centibillionaire

24:19

by imagining what

24:21

the negative implications of their

24:23

technology proposals were.

24:25

Okay? Nobody ever

24:29

became a capitalist god

24:31

king by worrying

24:34

about the potential pitfalls. Good

24:37

point, John. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop.

24:39

Yeah. Worried. How I learned to stop worrying

24:41

and love the space. How I learned to stop worrying.

24:44

Yeah.

24:45

This question comes from Rosselli who asks Dear

24:48

Hank and John, what's the difference between anology

24:50

and an onomy? astrology and

24:52

astronomy are two very different things

24:55

with astro, but they changed

24:57

by their suffix My hypothesis is that

24:59

anology was artsy and

25:01

onomy was sciencey. But what about,

25:04

like, all of the other allergies? And then there's

25:06

also graphy and metry The

25:09

the list goes on and on. This has been tearing

25:11

me up for a week. Please help sincerely. And

25:14

so we meet again. Oh, that's good.

25:16

Okay. Sure. Alright. Yeah. I got I was

25:18

on I wasn't on board until I set it out loud. Graphy

25:21

is pretty easy. It's it's a writing

25:23

e. So a biography is

25:25

a writing e by by Biome

25:28

and an auto biometrics. Geography.

25:31

Yep. Geography is, like, gotta write

25:33

down the earth. Yep. Gotta draw it. It's it's

25:35

writing the earth and -- Uh-huh. --

25:38

autobiography is writing the autobiography.

25:41

I don't know aboutonomy andology.

25:43

Do you know?

25:45

Yeah. Apparently,

25:46

the metro actually

25:48

is to measure. So So

25:51

geometry is measuring the

25:54

geos. Yeah. Yeah. So astronomy,

25:56

it's interesting because astrology and astronomy

25:58

literally are the opposite of what they should be.

26:00

So astrology is the study of

26:03

astrostars and

26:04

astronomy is

26:07

the naming of astro stars. Oh.

26:10

And astrology is

26:12

the naming

26:14

of stars -- Yep. -- and astronomy is

26:17

seeing the stars. The the studying of stars,

26:19

which is backwards. Right. It's precisely the opposite

26:21

of what it should be, but language

26:24

is bad and messy. Yeah.

26:27

But that's good to know that there is a different word

26:29

for the study of something than for the naming

26:31

of something. So actually, I would

26:33

be very interested in

26:36

So

26:36

if you took the word biography, and

26:38

then you made it about the naming

26:41

of the bio,

26:43

what would that be?

26:45

That would be bionomy. Right?

26:49

Yeah. I I looked it up. And it's

26:51

it's actually like, it's this says

26:53

that it is, in fact, the management

26:56

or measurement of the said

26:58

field of study. I always thought

27:00

it was wrong. I always thought it was naming.

27:02

I like naming a lot better.

27:05

Me too. But it I

27:07

was gonna say, I don't actually

27:09

want to write a

27:10

biography.

27:12

of a disease or of a person,

27:15

the stuff that I'm writing right now. I

27:17

want to write a biology of

27:21

the person or the

27:23

subject. And then I realized that biology is actually

27:25

at all. It's already taken. It's already

27:28

been occupied. So that space.

27:30

Yeah. That's interesting that there's, like, that that

27:32

a biography and a biology are

27:34

really different. Yeah. But what

27:36

I am interested in is not telling writing

27:39

down the story of something, but like finding

27:41

ways to name things that haven't been

27:43

named effectively, at least in

27:45

my opinion. Like, that's really

27:47

for me what all writing is is trying

27:49

to name or

27:51

give form or structure to stuff

27:53

that doesn't easily lend itself to form and structure.

27:56

And

27:58

that would be great if there were some

27:59

word that I could use

28:02

for my understanding of

28:04

what I'm trying to do with writing,

28:07

but biology is taken so I give up.

28:11

What about auto biology? Do you think I could make

28:14

auto biology the art of art of writing

28:16

memoir. Auto

28:18

biology is just medicine. It's

28:22

it's like human anatomy. Yeah.

28:24

How pretentious would it be if

28:27

I wrote an autobiography and

28:29

titled it something, colon, and

28:31

autobiography. So

28:34

pretty Very bad. So very precise.

28:36

So pretty It's so Can I tell you something?

28:38

It's so cringe. The other day, I

28:41

I almost tweeted and then I didn't because

28:43

that's the right way to do it, that

28:45

I was hoping somebody could coin a term

28:48

that would be grand schemeism. because

28:51

of this thing that you said in a video while ago

28:53

that that we that, like,

28:56

in the grand scheme of things blah blah blah blah. But we

28:58

do not live in the grand scheme of things. and

29:00

grand schemeism being the sort of tendency

29:02

of the powerful to think

29:05

more about what will be

29:07

and that sort of imagined future

29:09

that they that that may or may not happen

29:11

and less about the current problems

29:14

that are not being interfaced with. Right?

29:17

and that would be grand schemeism, which

29:19

-- I love that. -- I don't know why you didn't

29:21

tweet that. I think that's lovely. I think that

29:24

so much Yeah. Did I Yeah. No.

29:26

I mean, I I do know why you didn't tweet it, and

29:28

I think that every tweet you don't tweet is a

29:30

good decision. Period. Hard stop.

29:32

No. other thoughts about

29:34

that. But I do think that

29:36

the and I I

29:38

understand the fascination with

29:41

grand schemeism and I

29:44

understand the importance of it even

29:46

of trying to think about the

29:48

grand scheme of things. But

29:50

when grand schemeism

29:53

consumes the reality

29:55

of present tense injustice and suffering,

29:58

I'm not as convinced

29:59

by it. Yeah. Like,

30:01

there's a there's a sort of grand schemeism

30:04

that holds that the main

30:06

work we should be doing is toward

30:09

alleviating future suffering.

30:12

And I understand the argument,

30:14

and I think it's an interesting argument. I

30:17

just also think

30:19

that when we

30:21

encounter suffering in

30:23

the present and we do, we

30:25

should

30:26

respond.

30:28

Yeah, I have a couple I have a couple of

30:30

feelings about this. One is that it may be

30:32

that the the best way to alleviate

30:34

future suffering is to interface with presence

30:36

stuff. I think that is very unusual for that case. Set

30:39

that's that seems kind of given

30:41

and and like it's it might be a little unusual

30:43

for for there to be situations where the

30:45

opposite is the case. Right. Right.

30:48

There are situations where the opposite is the case

30:50

for sure. Yeah. But Yeah.

30:52

But I think that it's easy to sort of, like, pretend

30:54

like you found one and and

30:57

so don't bother me. with

31:00

with all of this -- Yeah. -- complexity of dealing

31:02

with things. And I but I also think that, like,

31:04

it's really important for the stability of

31:06

the world. Like, I

31:08

like, in general, for us to be interfacing

31:11

with current suffering. Like, if we just sort of say,

31:13

like, don't worry, your your grandchildren

31:15

will be fine. that that's

31:17

not good. That's not gonna help

31:20

actually solve the problem and get people on

31:22

board to solve them. Right. Don't worry. We're

31:24

doing everything we can to make the world

31:26

better for your grandchildren is

31:29

yeah. When someone's twenty, you know.

31:31

Right. And maybe I think there are

31:33

times and places where that can be a compelling

31:36

argument. But -- Yeah. -- I

31:38

think for me, it makes sense to look

31:40

at where the incentives align.

31:42

just on a practical human level, where

31:45

does addressing present tense

31:47

suffering also lead to generational

31:50

improvements? And -- Mhmm. -- I

31:52

think there are plenty of those places for

31:54

me. So I don't -- Yeah. -- don't want grand

31:56

schemeism to like,

31:58

III think it adds

31:59

something important to the conversation

32:02

that we need to pay attention to and listen to.

32:05

I

32:05

also think -- Yeah. -- that That's why

32:07

I like, when I when I wrote it, it just seemed

32:09

like it was snarking off and, like, it

32:11

was as if grand schemeism was

32:13

something to be entirely discounted. Yeah.

32:16

I well, I think that the big risk with it's

32:18

so hard not to have things sound like bad

32:20

winter. That's true. Especially also

32:22

when you're boiling them down to a term, you know?

32:25

it it's almost like it it would only ever catch

32:27

on if it was a way to deride others

32:29

-- Right. -- like the term manic pixie dream

32:31

girl or you know, all those,

32:33

like, ways of ways of simplifying

32:36

complexity are, you know, always

32:38

kind of exciting to us because we're, like, finally,

32:40

here is a framework through which I can understand

32:43

everything. And also,

32:46

dislike the people I dislike. Right. Yes.

32:48

You have my have my previous biases

32:50

confirmed. Yeah.

32:53

Yeah. Can you can you please present me with a way

32:55

for me to dislike the people I dislike? I will

32:57

totally retweet that. And

33:01

is there any way that along

33:03

the way I can feel

33:05

less like I have

33:09

personal

33:09

changes that I need to make

33:11

in my own life to make the world

33:13

suck less. Yeah.

33:15

Yeah. Totally.

33:18

Which III am more

33:20

guilty of than almost anyone. I I

33:22

love Yeah. Somebody explaining

33:24

away my evil.

33:28

I believe please make it okay for me

33:30

to make the decisions I wanna make, please. Right.

33:34

it's a it's a lot of it. And like, that's what

33:36

we it is what we want. And

33:38

so I, you know, I

33:41

I at

33:41

least know that a lot of the decisions I make are

33:44

the ones I shouldn't be making. So at

33:46

least there's that. Right. One

33:48

step at a time, I guess. Yeah.

33:51

This next question comes from Emma who asks Dear

33:53

Hank and John. Where

33:56

should I get my next tattoo? fine

33:58

extra in the tattoo club. I'd love I'd

34:00

love your your advice. This will be my fourth

34:03

tattoo. I have one on the left side of my stomach.

34:05

One on my right lower calf,

34:07

one on my right inner arm, where should

34:09

my fourth one be, if it helps. It's of

34:11

mushroom and a gum nut.

34:13

m. What the What's the dumb nut?

34:17

It's it's it's it's it's some kind

34:20

of It feels like it could go in multiple directions.

34:22

That's all. It's the it's the hardwoody fruit

34:24

of trees of the genus Eucalyptus.

34:27

Oh. There's something called a snuggle

34:29

pot and a cuddle pie Oh,

34:31

they're the gum nut babies of Arthur May

34:33

Gibbs. Oh, so grand.

34:36

I'm gonna hook up snuggle pot now and I bet I'm

34:38

gonna be delighted. I am looking

34:40

up gum nuts right now, and I am already

34:42

delighted that they are adorable.

34:45

They are, I think, my favorite hard

34:47

and woody fruits that I've ever come across.

34:50

Yeah. Well, I'm actually a snuggle pot and

34:52

caught up by, I have to say, I

34:54

a little bit am freaked out. III thought it

34:56

was gonna be a hundred percent great. And in

34:59

fact, they they're kinda terrifying.

35:01

Oh, yeah. They don't they don't at least from

35:03

the book that I'm looking at,

35:05

they don't really seem to have pupils.

35:08

They seem to have those dead ghost ass.

35:10

Yeah. Their eye their pupils are white, and they apparently

35:13

they don't seem to be capable of closing their eyes.

35:15

You know, in the old days. Yeah.

35:18

Children's

35:19

entertainment. Children's entertainment

35:21

was just sort of natural truly horrifying. The

35:23

presumption was children know

35:26

the secrets, but we can't tell

35:28

them the secrets. They just have to sit there

35:30

with the deep knowledge of them. and

35:33

and that led to all kinds of weird stories.

35:35

Like, you go back and you read this Christian Anderson

35:38

stories and you're like, oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah.

35:41

Yikes. Yeah. Tell her, Lauren, read something.

35:43

He's like he's like, I I don't wanna

35:45

read that. I

35:46

don't know. Don't do that.

35:49

these gun cut babies look

35:52

to me well, they have this, like,

35:54

perpetual surprise in their

35:56

faces. Yeah. this

35:58

and it's sort of a horrified

35:59

surprise. It's sort of, like,

36:02

you told them, like, they just

36:05

found out that not only

36:07

is human life temporary, but the

36:09

but earth and our solar system are

36:11

also temporary. And they're like, that's the luck.

36:14

Oh my god. Yeah.

36:15

Like, anyway, maybe have a good

36:17

evening.

36:18

Eventually, there'll be

36:21

like there'll be like a even temperature throughout

36:23

the entire universe and and Nothing

36:27

will ever change again. We

36:30

call it no forward to no backward. We call

36:32

it heat death. We call it heat death. because

36:35

it's like the final death after all the faith.

36:38

After all the other deaths happen, it's

36:40

the last one. The last death.

36:42

Yeah. We don't even like that. call it that,

36:44

actually. It's a ways off of nutbabies.

36:47

But uh-huh. You know?

36:49

But but eventually, there will be no one left to

36:51

remember that you existed. The

36:54

good news is by the time the heat death of universe

36:56

comes, gump nut babies will

36:59

be long gone.

37:04

You've got nothing to worry about yourselves

37:07

unless you are hoping for

37:09

there to be some vestige of you

37:12

in the future, which there won't be.

37:14

Thank you for coming to our party.

37:17

Anyway, I'd I'm hoping it's not snuggle

37:19

pod that you're getting to tattoo of. Any kind of

37:22

hoping it is. snuggle pod. Either way.

37:24

Either way. Yeah. It's I'm I'm

37:26

I'm think, actually, it's grand, and I wanna

37:28

see a picture. Hey, am I oh, I'm like,

37:30

no. No. No. Don't don't answer the question because I

37:32

know you've got a tattoo. You didn't tell me

37:34

that you got a tattoo. I had to discover it

37:37

for myself, which -- Yeah. -- was

37:39

a little bit disappointing that you I wasn't

37:41

sure what the etiquette was. I I think that

37:43

this is actually a great question. It's from Hank

37:45

who asks how like, when

37:47

you're, like, middle aged, what's the or

37:50

anytime? What's the tattoo telling etiquette?

37:52

Do you know, like, say, hey, mom, just so

37:54

you know I'm at the tattoo parlor and I'm gonna

37:56

permanently No. No.

37:58

But here's when you could have

37:59

mentioned it is when I said, hey, how's your trip?

38:02

with your buddies to Florida go. And

38:04

you said Yeah. -- you could have been like,

38:07

good. I got a tattoo. I got

38:09

it. You just said good. What I said

38:11

I see. I told you that had a really good I did

38:13

tell you I had a great time. It was very relaxing. We

38:15

had a wonderful time, but IIII maybe was

38:17

like, and we all went and got magic tattoos. I think

38:20

that would have been the time. mention that you got a

38:22

match you got but I also think it's time for me to just

38:24

find out by looking at your arm. I think that's fine. It was

38:26

a great TikTok. I think that we should

38:28

say where we think this tattoo should go

38:30

on three. Okay? Okay. 123

38:34

wrist. What

38:36

did you say? Yours is probably better.

38:38

Do you say forearm?

38:40

Forehead.

38:41

a half fact that as

38:44

I just think it'd be so funny to have these

38:46

snuggle bunnies right there, like almost

38:49

as a third eye. I

38:51

I'm all about like, I think tattoos

38:54

on arms are great because they're

38:56

easy to to show off.

38:59

Right.

39:00

and I just like an arm with some

39:02

tattoos on it. I love an arm with some

39:04

tattoos. It just looks real good.

39:06

I I mean, I like I I like

39:08

upper arm. I like back.

39:11

I love a I like back. Yeah.

39:13

But I I also think that this is a

39:15

decision about your body. it's

39:17

true that he should think about should not make

39:19

for you. Like -- Uh-huh. -- I think that

39:21

I think that you should think about your

39:23

particular body and your particular relationship

39:26

with it where you would

39:28

like seeing the tattoo because

39:31

you will be the main person who sees it.

39:33

or where you would like

39:35

to feel its existence, if that's for

39:37

sure, what it is. And then go from there.

39:40

Mine feels very lonely. I have

39:42

this I have this one tattoo on Are you gonna get

39:44

another one? It feels like it needs friends.

39:46

Are you thinking about getting another one? It's

39:49

I I feel like I've got ideas

39:52

But I I just wanna let it let

39:54

things happen. You know? Yeah. No.

39:56

I think that's great. I support you a hundred

39:58

percent Unless

39:59

you wanna get one

40:01

of these snuggle bunny tattoos, that would

40:03

worry me a little bit. I

40:05

thought they were gonna be so cute. Their

40:08

names were very cute. Anyway,

40:11

that reminds me that today's podcast is brought to you

40:13

by Snuggle Bunnies. Snuggle Bunnies. celebrating

40:16

their centenary --

40:18

Really? -- twenty nineteen according

40:20

to this website I just found.

40:22

This podcast is also brought to you by

40:24

magnets, magnets either created

40:26

by humans or by the Earth.

40:29

That's

40:29

all the magnets.

40:31

And today's podcast is brought to

40:33

you by cold rainy and dark

40:36

mornings. They're not fun for mammals,

40:38

and you're a mammal. And

40:40

this podcast is brought to you by Octopus

40:42

Twitter. Octopus Twitter shut down

40:45

over two hundred million years ago.

40:48

over the complaints of the world's largest

40:50

octopus who was like, hey, if

40:52

you delete octopus Twitter, it's going

40:54

so much value for me. It's you're going

40:56

to be removing so much value from my Gigantic

40:59

Octopus Life. But

41:03

all of your descend for much much happier.

41:05

We also have a project for us a message from Emma

41:07

and Jacksonville to Rachel. Dear

41:09

Rachel, congrats on graduating from

41:11

Wall school. You are a brilliant and

41:13

kind friend and the world is better for you being

41:15

here. I cannot wait to visit you and I apologize

41:18

for not getting you an actual card. but

41:20

I figured this would make up for it. I'm looking

41:22

forward to fighting the mace with you for many

41:24

years to come, the correct plural

41:26

of Moose. is

41:27

Mace according to this project fail

41:29

sign. Are they fighting Moses? Who

41:31

knows? doing that? Well, I think they're fighting Moose

41:34

to be fair.

41:35

which is the plural of this. Nope. They're

41:37

fighting meats. Hearing

41:40

in John this week is brought to you by Shopify.

41:42

here's the thing I know about

41:45

Shopify after using them for like ten years

41:48

is that when I started

41:51

I didn't have a bunch of money

41:53

to use Shopify. Like, we so we started

41:55

off and we, like, used our own little platform that we built ourselves

41:58

that was really not great. It

42:00

did not have a lot of features. And then we moved

42:02

over to Shopify, and it was great

42:04

for the size store that we were then. And

42:06

here's the weird thing. It is great for a size

42:08

store that we are now. DFTBA went

42:10

from having no employees, basically

42:12

just two cofounders, to having for

42:15

a long time. to having now over fifty employees

42:17

and selling for some of the biggest

42:20

brands on the Internet. We sell for

42:22

Kurt Gazat. We sell for dimension

42:25

twenty. We sell for the McRoys. We sell

42:27

a lot of kinds of awesome socks club.

42:29

All this stuff is managed through

42:32

Shopify. And that is a huge

42:35

like shift in scale and

42:37

having some a platform that could grow

42:39

with us and be useful

42:41

and affordable when we were small

42:43

and be useful and affordable when

42:45

we were big without having to jump between

42:48

different platforms as we scaled with so

42:50

valuable for us, the not need

42:52

to be worrying about that. Shopify gives

42:54

entrepreneurs the resources that maybe

42:56

we're once reserved to just for big businesses

42:59

so that all of the

43:01

different ways that people are doing it

43:03

now can have that knowledge

43:05

and that support. You can synchronize

43:07

online and in person sales. You can stay

43:10

informed with how you're doing. You can

43:12

see your analytics. You know what's going

43:14

on. Shopify's platform makes it easy

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for anybody regardless of technical ability

43:18

or experience to start their own business.

43:20

More than a store, Shopify grows

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with you. You can go to shopify dot com

43:24

slash dear Hank, all lowercase, for

43:27

a free trial and get full access to

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Shopify's entire suite of features, that's

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shopify dot com slash dear Hank

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to grow your business with Shopify today.

43:36

Alright, Hank.

43:39

So my Computer

43:41

stopped recording, and therefore,

43:44

you missed some gold people

43:46

of the Internet. I was really

43:48

hard on Hank, got half of it. We got my part.

43:50

I was really hard on Hank for recently

43:53

losing some gold and then I just lost

43:55

some solid gold. It was we had

43:58

some high quality gold. But instead,

43:59

we're gonna do the news from Mars and AMC Wimbledon

44:02

so can go pick up my children from school. I'll

44:04

start The news from AFC Wimbledon

44:06

is that we still have not lost a

44:08

game since I visited.

44:11

don't know if it's about me, but

44:13

we haven't lost a game. That's

44:14

said,

44:16

we did tie one one in the

44:18

FA Cup, which you'll recall, Hank is a cup

44:20

competition. It's a knockout competition.

44:22

It's separate from the league campaign. We

44:25

played Weymouth who ply their

44:27

trade way down in the sixth tier

44:29

of English football. And

44:32

we tied them which means we

44:34

have to play them again in a week.

44:36

And

44:37

I mean, it was not a great

44:40

tie for us.

44:42

they had more shots than we did, more possessions,

44:44

more corner kicks in almost every way they

44:46

were the better team. And that's

44:48

not good because they're in the sixth tier of English

44:50

football, and we should be comfortably outplaying

44:53

them. So it's a little alarming

44:55

as ties go. But -- Mhmm. --

44:57

it is still a continuation of

44:59

the undefeated since John watched

45:02

us lose streak. This

45:06

weekend Mars' news, Mars'

45:09

crust might be a little more complex than we

45:11

thought. We used to think that Mars' crust was

45:13

like just a uniform basalt.

45:15

So that's like a igneous rock that

45:18

was part of an ocean of magma that coated

45:20

the planet until it all cooled down

45:22

into the crust. But researchers

45:24

studying data from Mars reconnaissance orbiter have

45:27

found that the crust in the southern hemisphere of

45:29

Mars has felled spars which is usually

45:31

found in silica rich lava as opposed to

45:33

basaltic flows and that means that

45:35

the crust might not have been formed by

45:37

the cooling of one giant ocean of magma.

45:39

Instead, it might have formed in multiple different

45:42

phases. That's gonna take a lot more work to

45:44

figure out what exactly is going on with Mars'

45:46

crust. Also, the Insightlander, I

45:48

think, probably just sent

45:50

us its last photo. It's

45:53

it's it's it's ending up. It's beautiful

45:55

little photo, and you can go look at it by searching

45:57

for a last insight lander photo. Because

46:01

It's due it did its thing and

46:03

didn't didn't get what a lot of Mars

46:05

missions get, which is way longer life than

46:08

they're planned for. But did

46:10

did do a lot of its work. Well,

46:12

Godspeed to a real one. That's right.

46:15

That's right. John, thank you for making a podcast

46:17

with me, and thank you to everybody for sending your

46:19

questions Hank and John at gmail dot com.

46:21

This podcast is edited by Joseph Tinnemetis.

46:23

It's produced by Rosiana House, Rohan. Our communications

46:26

coordinator is Brook Shotwell, editorial assistant

46:28

is bookie truck or party. It's the music you're hearing now. It's

46:30

by the Greek Anaroma. And as they say in our hometown,

46:32

don't forget to be awesome.