0:00

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0:02

that you need to know what day of the week

0:04

it is and what day of the month it is, and

0:06

once you know those two things, you know what day

0:08

of the year it is. It's nice

0:10

to have a thing that sits on your wall

0:12

that has beautiful images that tells

0:14

you those things. And also, you can have

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those things that supports me your favorite educational

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dang internet. It's complexly calendars

0:23

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0:28

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0:31

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off. There's one for SciShow Space that

0:37

shows the most delightful delicious

0:39

moons of our solar system. There's one for SciShow

0:42

that has a bunch of amazing science

0:44

photography. We have our bizarre beasts

0:46

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0:48

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0:51

that showcases the micro photography of

0:53

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0:55

of course the E. ON's calendar that showcases

0:58

some of the paleoart that we create. For

1:00

PBSEON. So you can check it out at complexcalendars

1:02

dot com. And if you do, leave a little

1:05

note for me in the notes section

1:07

It says, Hank, I heard about this on your podcast.

1:09

And also, you could tell me what song

1:12

to listen to. And maybe I'll check some of them

1:14

out. I'll build a little Spotify playlist. Hit

1:16

me up with something you think that I'd like because

1:18

I'm looking for it. Something that's gonna bring me a little

1:20

bit of energy, a little bit of joy to my day. Don't

1:22

give me a downer. I like downer every once

1:24

in a while, that's not what I'm looking for. Anyway,

1:27

this was too long already. Goodbye.

1:33

Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and

1:35

John, whereas I prefer to think of it Dear, John,

1:37

and Hank. It's a podcast where two brothers,

1:40

answer your questions, give you dubious advice

1:42

and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC

1:44

Wimbledon. Although in this case, it's a very

1:46

special episode and there's only one brother.

1:48

That's right. It's a one man

1:50

band spectacular, the

1:53

rarest and also lowest quality

1:55

variety of Dear Hank and John

1:57

episode. We're trying things a little

2:00

differently today. I'm going

2:02

to, in so far, as possible, do

2:04

this live. It is the end

2:06

of twenty twenty two. It is a time

2:08

for experimentation and

2:11

rebirth and growth. And

2:13

also, my brother is unavailable. Because

2:16

he is the busiest

2:18

person I have ever known. I

2:20

don't know how he does it all. And then some

2:22

weeks, he doesn't. He isn't able to

2:24

do it all. And and in those weeks, I'm

2:26

like, well, at at least he's human. So

2:29

we're going to try

2:31

our best to get through this

2:34

together. I do have some questions

2:36

identified that you have sent me at hank and john

2:38

at gmail dot com which I very

2:40

much appreciate. Also, lots

2:42

of you have sent me emails that aren't questions,

2:45

which have also been lovely. We're

2:47

gonna begin today with a question about

2:50

Hank, my brother. Since

2:52

he's not here, I feel like there's never

2:54

been a better time to discuss him.

2:56

This question comes from Angela, who writes,

2:58

Dear, John, and Hank.

3:01

Last night, I dreamt that during

3:03

his college days, Hank programmed a

3:05

desktop app of a stick figure

3:07

named Little Stimulus Will

3:10

Stim for short Will Stim is a pretty

3:12

good rap name, slightly off

3:14

topic, but I feel like

3:17

like a little STEM wouldn't be in my

3:19

like top ten YouTube music

3:21

listens but might be in my top. Thirty.

3:24

Anyway, LilStim was a program

3:27

where this little stick figure would

3:29

march to any music being played on

3:31

your computer. Unfortunately, Hank

3:33

could no longer remember the code

3:35

of the file and the original hard

3:37

copy was being held hostage by

3:39

your uncle. John eventually got

3:41

the disc back. Thank you, Angela, for

3:43

making me the hero of your

3:46

dream. And also discovered that your uncle

3:48

had been woe fully underpaying you

3:50

all these years for Will

3:52

STEM presumably? Now,

3:55

this is a great question, Angela. Particularly

3:58

because it contains no question

4:00

marks. My friend Amy Cross was something I

4:02

used to say that nothing was

4:05

more boring than other

4:07

people's dreams. And that's

4:09

really true except when

4:12

other people's dreams are about you.

4:14

And then suddenly you

4:16

perk up and you're like, oh, what now? That

4:18

sounds like a really interesting metaphor. I

4:20

wonder what that could be about. It's probably

4:22

about how great I am and how I'm always

4:25

saving the day for Hank coming

4:27

through at the last second with the

4:29

disk that contains the hit

4:31

web application will

4:34

stem. And

4:36

so thank you, Angela, for that really

4:38

interesting dream. I have to say if that dream

4:40

was about someone other than me, I think

4:42

I would still like it, but, like, of course,

4:44

I think I would. By the way, if you hear

4:46

an extremely loud clunking that

4:48

appears to be coming from above,

4:50

I want you to know that it it is an

4:52

extremely loud clunking coming from

4:54

above. I recorded my basement and

4:56

my son broke his foot

4:58

and so he has a cast and

5:01

he's always been a bit of a heavy stepper.

5:03

But with this cast, you may you may hear

5:05

it. So

5:07

The main thing that I thought

5:09

about with regards to your dream is

5:11

two things. That's

5:13

an example of not needing

5:15

to edit every time you make a mistake.

5:18

The main thing is two things, Angela. The

5:20

first main thing is that

5:22

this is all so in

5:24

character right? Like Hank making

5:27

a program called WillStim in

5:29

college, his variant character,

5:32

that program becoming unexpectedly

5:34

and in plicably popular is

5:36

very in character. And then,

5:38

like, it's somehow making a bunch of

5:40

money even though Hank doesn't care

5:42

that much about money is Varian character.

5:45

Also, I think it's Varian character that I came

5:47

and saved the day at the end. But the second thing it

5:49

makes me think is which uncle? Which

5:52

uncle Angela? Which uncle

5:54

was woefully underpaying us

5:56

all these years? There's two main candidates.

5:59

First, we have my uncle Bill. Oh, god. I love

6:01

my uncle. I love all of my uncles for

6:03

the record. And then we have

6:05

my uncle Mike. They're both great

6:08

wonderful fathers and

6:10

husbands and grandfathers. They're

6:12

both talented business people, so

6:14

there's no reason why they couldn't. For

6:16

instance, you know, take a little

6:18

stem and turn it into a bunch of money somehow.

6:22

But the more I thought about

6:24

it the more I thought it's not a

6:26

biological uncle, is it?

6:28

It's like an uncle figure who

6:30

we call uncle. Like good old

6:32

Uncle Joe always looking out for us in

6:34

the business realm where we don't really,

6:37

you know, have a lot of talent or

6:40

particular aptitude. Thank God for

6:42

good old uncle Joe. And so it's

6:44

a metaphorical uncle. Isn't it Angela?

6:46

And then I was like, who's the metaphorical uncle?

6:48

Who's been underpaying us all these

6:50

years? And Angela, I

6:52

don't know who it is.

6:55

I think you might have to have another

6:57

dream I think you might need to be

6:59

in an inception situation where

7:01

you have a second dream report

7:03

back to us on who

7:06

Oh, Hank says I would love to record if you

7:08

still can. Amazing. What?

7:10

Guys, it's going from a one

7:12

man band episode to a two

7:14

person band episode. Alright.

7:18

Incredible news everybody. No.

7:20

I'm already and we're already in.

7:23

It's already started. I know. I know I don't

7:25

know how long to do this job. Well,

7:27

yeah. Hank is Hank is here. He sent

7:29

me an unexpected tech message saying

7:31

I'd like to record the podcast with you

7:33

now. And I was like, but but

7:35

your your team informed

7:37

me that you wouldn't be available for a

7:39

podcast. I will you know, do you wanna

7:41

know something that's kind of

7:43

kind of gross? Yeah. I

7:45

wasn't recording the podcast and I was like,

7:47

I'd really like to walked to

7:49

my brother. Yeah.

7:53

See, you were actually thinking I'd like to

7:55

record the podcast. You were thinking, like, how I talk to

7:57

John about some stuff that's important to me? And

7:59

then you're like, oh, god. Are we supposed to record the

8:01

podcast right now? I was well, one of the

8:03

things I don't know what you've been up to.

8:05

But like -- Yeah. -- there's a year coming.

8:08

There's a there's like a a

8:10

world changing.

8:12

There's a lot. There's I don't

8:14

know if this maybe it has always

8:16

and will always feel like this. It just feels

8:19

like there's a lot that's changing and a

8:21

lot that's hard. And -- Yeah. --

8:23

and I did and I was thinking about

8:25

how I'd like to talk about it with

8:27

you and great. And also answer

8:29

questions from our listeners if you're doing that. But

8:31

Yeah. We are doing that. So real quick, Hank. I

8:33

just need to bring you up to date on how things have been

8:35

going so far. Okay. I'm actually recording

8:38

a live show while I'm recording

8:40

the podcast. Recorded live shows

8:42

or are you actually live? Okay. I'm

8:44

streaming a live show while I'm recording the

8:46

podcast. Okay.

8:47

I don't understand how this stuff works. But

8:49

they're all really mad that they

8:51

can't hear you. Yeah. But the reason

8:53

they can't hear you is because this is a

8:55

one man band episode of Dear Hank

8:57

and John where a second

9:00

member of the band unexpectedly

9:02

entered halfway through. I'm

9:04

that's It's like I play It's

9:07

like I'm Huey Lewis, and I think

9:09

I'm playing a solo acoustic

9:11

show, you know, harkening back

9:13

to the old days when it was just me in

9:15

a guitar. And then the drummer just shows up

9:17

and he's like, Who

9:21

should come with the news? Yeah. Suddenly,

9:23

it's Huey Lewis and the news. The news

9:25

is here. The whole band is back

9:27

together. Oh, man. So But this gives you the news

9:29

ratings for you. Like, if we're gonna make a

9:31

metaphor into a real thing, I'd

9:33

rather avoid it. Kewlie

9:35

Lewis in the news? No. I just wanna I don't wanna

9:37

do anything that's in the news right now.

9:40

just don't wanna discuss the news. I feel

9:42

like the news has been really good lately.

9:44

Argentina won the World Cup. If there's

9:46

other news, I'm literally unaware of. I

9:48

gotta tell you that

9:50

was nuts. I

9:52

you know, I think it's great that so

9:54

many people really enjoyed the

9:56

World Cup final. It was a great day that I

9:58

enjoyed it, but it it was very

10:00

stressful. It was a it was an experience. You're

10:02

amazing. It was an experience.

10:05

And and there is something magical about

10:07

the fact that, you know, in the neighborhood

10:09

of one third of all humans, we're

10:11

watching the same thing at the same time

10:13

participating in the emotions. I

10:15

feel I feel participating in the it's the

10:18

greatest shared emotional experience

10:20

among humans. It's the World

10:22

Cup. Know, it was very intense. Can

10:24

I tell you something I really appreciate about the World

10:26

Cup? Yes. Is when

10:27

the announcers were, like, yes, that was

10:29

the correct decisions by the officials.

10:32

Because I had That was no idea. I

10:34

was like, that was I don't know that. I don't

10:36

like was that right, but they all seemed

10:38

to think it was they were I I've

10:40

appreciated

10:41

that that effect because that matter like those

10:43

things mattered a lot. Turns out

10:45

-- Yeah. -- the decision made by

10:47

the officials. I would just

10:49

like to say for the record that if you

10:51

enjoyed the World Cup final,

10:53

wait until you find out about fourth

10:55

tier English

10:56

football. If you thought if

10:59

you thought Morocco's upset

11:02

was

11:03

headline news -- Yeah. -- wait

11:05

until you find out about

11:07

AFC Wimbledon taking on Charleston

11:09

athletic. Okay?

11:13

The World Cup was great, but you know

11:16

what result you

11:18

never saw once in the entire World

11:20

Cup sixty four games and you did not

11:22

see this result once. Match

11:25

abandoned due to frozen pit, which is what

11:27

happened to AFC Wimbledon this

11:29

week. Not a single match.

11:31

In the entire world cup was abandoned

11:33

because of frozen pitch. And

11:35

we've had it happen forty or

11:37

fifty times just in the last

11:39

week in English flu. What's the

11:41

concern with the frozen pitch? Is it that you don't wanna,

11:43

like, hit it? It's like playing on

11:45

concrete? I've never totally

11:48

understood why frozen

11:50

pitch and waterlogged pitch are

11:52

the two kind of, I would

11:54

say, like, leading protagonist

11:56

they're sort of the mbappe and

11:59

messy of fourth

12:01

tier English football. And I've

12:03

never quite understood why

12:05

they're given such centrality. It's a

12:07

team

12:07

game. You know? Like a lot a lot of

12:10

things matter. Buy

12:12

a frozen pit gets a gets a lot

12:14

of frozen. It's just a big

12:16

deal. The energy is so much

12:18

different now that you're here. I bet. I've

12:22

done I've done one one man band

12:24

podcast as well. And it's it's

12:26

interesting. It's a it's a

12:28

different dynamic. It's kinda hard to beat that

12:30

person. I don't know. It's beautiful to

12:32

have you with me. Can you

12:33

tell me what the emotion I experienced

12:36

during the World Cup was? I

12:38

mean, here's the thing, Hank. That's the emotion

12:41

I feel every Saturday. So you're

12:43

starting to glimpse. Hank is on

12:45

a journey of mean. And part

12:47

of his journey of meeting is that he's

12:49

starting to glimpse that

12:52

football contains all

12:54

of the human emotions and

12:56

all of the human experience. It was and

12:58

that it it rewards your

13:00

attention Unlike so many other

13:02

things, it rewards your attention in

13:05

exact what is it called the

13:07

correlation? Yeah. Like,

13:09

to to the the size of your feelings

13:12

is is exactly correlated to the

13:14

size of your attention and investment.

13:16

It's You know, like, the first time

13:18

the first time you, like, drink,

13:20

like, a bunch of cold water on an empty stomach

13:22

in your life, you're like, my stomach

13:24

can feel cold. That's what watching

13:26

that game felt like. It was like, I have

13:28

experienced 357 nuisance. I'm

13:30

forty two years old and for the

13:33

like, It's been a while since I had a

13:35

new feeling. This one's nice. I

13:37

love it. I love it. I love it.

13:39

Hey. I don't know that I like it

13:41

though. Yeah. I'll get you an eye

13:43

follow membership. And

13:45

and then he can have it every Saturday while

13:47

you watch AMC Wimbledon. I

13:50

I forced my kids to watch the penalty

13:52

shootout. And at one point, I said, I

13:54

said, this is unbearable. And Henry

13:56

said, That's how I feel all

13:58

the time watching soccer. Alright.

14:07

Hank, we gotta get to some questions from our

14:09

listeners. Okay? Because there is one

14:11

question. There are two there's really only

14:13

two questions I wanna in this episode.

14:15

Mhmm. But one of them is

14:17

maybe I don't wanna over hype it,

14:19

the greatest question I've ever come across in

14:21

the history of Dear Hank and John. Okay.

14:23

And you miss a whole conversation about Lil

14:26

Stim, but this -- I saw that

14:28

question. -- this question

14:30

from Grace is unbelievable.

14:32

Okay? Dear John and

14:34

Hank, I really like country

14:36

music, but there's this one song

14:38

that's been haunting my dreams. It's

14:41

called five foot nine. Now,

14:43

I have also heard this song.

14:45

It's a hit. It's on radio.

14:48

And it has I agree

14:50

with grace. It has the weirdest

14:52

chorus that has never been addressed so

14:54

far as I know. Uh-huh. This

14:57

is a country song. I don't know how familiar you are

14:59

with like contemporary country music, Hank, but like a

15:01

lot of contemporary country music sort of

15:03

grounds itself in vivid

15:06

images that are

15:09

slightly like seen through a like a

15:11

rose tinted filter of nostalgia.

15:14

You know, like finding

15:16

ways to take rural life

15:18

and make it at once like hyper

15:20

specific and universal. Like,

15:23

the best swing is

15:25

a tire swing is a kind of Gotcha.

15:27

You know, or, like, the best

15:29

car is a pickup truck. And the best kind

15:31

of road is a dirt road. And so Uh-huh.

15:35

Okay. So there's this one

15:37

song that's been haunting my dreams. It's called five

15:39

foot nine. And

15:41

I think the chorus goes.

15:43

God made five foot

15:45

nine brown eyes in a

15:47

sun dress. Now,

15:49

God There's some seemed to be some people who

15:51

think that the chorus is God made

15:53

five foot nine brown eyes

15:55

and a sun dress, but I actually

15:57

I have listened to song several times since reading this

16:00

question. And I think that you can certainly make a

16:02

case for five foot nine brown

16:04

eyes in a sun dryer. Uh-huh. But

16:06

either way, There's actually the same

16:08

prompt. Greg

16:12

says, I can't get this terrifying image

16:14

out of my head. My question is,

16:16

if five foot nine

16:18

brown eyes were to wear a sun

16:20

dress, how would that sun dress stay up?

16:22

Eisare round? So could

16:24

straps hold it? Would it need some kind of anti

16:26

slip material used for strapless

16:28

dresses? You guys answered the question about a person made

16:30

of lemon so well that I thought you could surely

16:32

handle this bonus if

16:34

a listener can draw this monstrosity, I'm

16:36

all about that grace. No

16:39

trouble. No.

16:42

It's a great name specifically. So,

16:44

of course, I keep I keep having to turn myself

16:46

down because being in your company is making

16:48

me so excited compared to the experience I thought I

16:50

was gonna have. So I apologize to

16:52

Tuna and everyone listening if my

16:54

levels keep changing a little bit, but I'm trying not

16:56

to bottom out I of

16:59

course went to the

17:01

website genius dot com, which is where

17:03

you learn about the interpretation of

17:05

lyrics. Okay. But there is no information.

17:07

The only information I've learned is that this man's

17:09

wife is in fact five

17:11

foot ten, but he didn't know. 357

17:13

didn't realize that. When he wrote the song. Well, he

17:15

had to and and it was too late to

17:18

correct it. His

17:21

wow. So he played the

17:23

song for his wife for the first time.

17:25

And she This is difficult. But at the end of

17:27

it, she he was like, what do you think?

17:29

And she was like, oh, I mean, I thought it

17:31

was alright. How could

17:33

I mean, forget about how tall I

17:35

am. I would be, like, I

17:37

I don't wanna be overly critical and I and I

17:39

know that you're, like, in your creative mode and that

17:41

you're very vulnerable in that time and

17:43

everything, but

17:44

how can an eyeball be five foot

17:46

nine inches tall? But you And then this is

17:48

like the More to the point. Okay.

17:50

More

17:51

to

17:51

the point, how could this five foot

17:53

nine inch eyeball wear

17:55

a sun dress? Because

17:57

Almost by definition, wouldn't that sun

18:00

dress cover up the seeing part of

18:02

the eye and kind of the one thing that

18:04

the five foot nine inch eyeball could

18:06

be good at? Is taken away from

18:08

it. Well, Johnny, you have so so

18:10

two things. First, this is not

18:12

this is not the first time. Maybe

18:14

this month that

18:16

we have talked about giant eyeballs

18:18

because you've talked about that poem

18:20

that you that you like. Oh, it's just like

18:22

a like you visualize it as a

18:24

eyeball rolling around the forest collecting dirt

18:26

and just so

18:28

Park on it. I've learned a lot more about

18:31

transparent eyeballs since last we spoke.

18:33

Okay. But you

18:35

also need to remember that it's

18:37

five foot nine brown eyes.

18:39

In a sun dress. Yeah. So it's I

18:41

don't know. There's two of them in there.

18:43

They're stacked on top of each other they

18:45

have to be. Right?

18:46

Eight pounds. Are they gonna be

18:48

five feet nine inch tall, Hank, be reasonable. Well, the

18:50

problem is that they're balls, so they

18:52

are spherical. And so if they're five feet

18:55

nine high, And

18:57

there is two Yeah. There are five and then five and nine wide. Well,

18:59

no. They're ten foot eighteen

19:03

wide.

19:03

Oh, you're imagining that

19:06

they're Two eyeballs.

19:08

You're imagining that they're right next to

19:10

each other. Yeah. Well, that's how eyes

19:13

are. Well, first

19:15

off, eyes

19:18

aren't five feet, nine inches tall in

19:20

a sun dress, at least not any eyes I've

19:22

ever seen. But I was imagining that

19:24

they're stacked on top of each other, like, it's

19:26

like two, like, two kids in a trench

19:28

coat acting like an adult. No

19:32

one takes us seriously if we're

19:34

just walking around. Like

19:36

our sandwiches, normally, you

19:38

know, when we're when we're, like, two two

19:41

and a half feet is at all.

19:45

Yeah. Exactly. If they're just

19:47

if they're just a two and a half foot tall

19:49

eyeball, walking around next to another two and

19:51

a half foot tall eyeball. I don't seeing

19:53

that in the sun dresses, is very

19:56

disorienting. But if you see a five foot nine inch

19:58

tall, two eyeball situation in a

20:00

sun dress, you're like, you know, like, one of the one of

20:02

the rivals. I don't even see. It's under -- Right. -- it's got very

20:04

narrow waist where they

20:06

come together. Actually,

20:09

it's very close to the platonic

20:12

ideal of -- Real

20:14

hourglass shaped there. Literally.

20:16

Yeah. Where it's just, like,

20:18

the rare there are hourglass body

20:20

that is actually hourglass shape.

20:22

Yeah. Yeah. So I

20:24

I

20:24

mean, there's a lot to

20:27

unpack here. the bottom one roll like

20:29

BBA? And the top one

20:31

stays

20:31

safe. Right? Do they have feet?

20:34

This is a big this is a big question

20:36

about Emerson's transparent eyeball, actually, which is

20:38

this idea that the philosopher

20:40

Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher slash

20:42

writer, Ralph Waldo Emerson, had

20:45

in his essay nature where he he

20:47

talks about walking through the forest

20:49

and just wanting to be an an

20:52

evil Can I read you the relevant part, Hank? Because I

20:54

think it does impact our discussion

20:56

of this popular song.

20:59

We return to reason

21:01

in faith. There, I feel

21:04

that nothing can befall me.

21:06

No disgrace no calamity leaving

21:08

me my eyes, which which

21:11

nature cannot repair. Standing

21:13

on the bare ground, my head

21:15

bathed by the blithe air and uplifted

21:17

into infinite spaces. Jesus

21:19

Christ, Ralph Waldo Emerson, loved

21:21

it. An adjective. This is that's a bit

21:23

much, but okay. My head

21:26

bathed by the blithe air, all mean

21:28

egotism vanishes. I become a

21:30

transparent eyeball. I am

21:32

nothing. I see all the currents

21:34

of the universal beings circulate

21:36

through me, I am part or

21:39

particle of god. And

21:41

so the idea is that, like,

21:43

instead of reflecting back meaning

21:45

that you just soak it

21:47

in, that, you know, instead of --

21:49

Mhmm. -- not you know, just

21:52

take in nature rather than

21:54

trying to reflect it or make meaning of

21:56

it or whatever. III

21:57

usually, I like the transparent eyeball

22:00

part, but you can't just use the word life. Oh,

22:02

I completely agree with you nor can

22:04

you describe egotism as mean. You should

22:06

just say egotism. Right? We know

22:08

what you mean. And then there's

22:10

the fact that the solution is wrong. I thought he

22:13

meant, like, the mean, like, the average.

22:16

I don't think so. But again,

22:18

we know why did he introduce that ambiguity needlessly?

22:20

We're not here to criticize Ralph

22:22

Waldo Emerson's prose -- Yeah. -- which is,

22:24

frankly, better than either of ours.

22:27

We're here to talk about the fact that the

22:29

most famous image of this, and I need

22:31

you to Google it. Hank, I need you to Google

22:33

transparent eyeball, was made

22:35

by Christopher Pierce crunch

22:37

in the eighteen thirties, and

22:39

it pictures an eyeball a

22:41

top a very long set

22:43

of legs. And the eyeballs, like,

22:46

wearing a draw hat of some kind of

22:48

And also the tail legs? Yeah.

22:50

The legs are where it's a coat with tails. So, like,

22:52

this is a dressed up transparent

22:54

eyeball walking through the wilderness.

22:56

In what amounts to a tuxedo --

22:58

This is the positive, by the way. --

23:00

anatomically correct. Like, I don't like, If

23:03

that's the optic nerve that it's walking

23:04

on, if its legs have turned into the optic nerve,

23:06

it's coming out the wrong part of the

23:09

eyeball.

23:09

Well, first off, I don't think that

23:12

that's the concept. The

23:14

point is we do have an image,

23:16

thanks to Christopher Pierce Branch. Of

23:19

five foot nine brown

23:21

eyeballs in in a coach --

23:22

Oh, I see. -- which I think we got to it.

23:25

Right. I think that we're on the

23:27

path looking at this image together.

23:29

So maybe maybe it's two

23:31

eyes -- Yeah. -- that are just bit like,

23:33

there's no head, but there is kind of

23:37

So so there is a real legitimate biological

23:40

question about where the eye ends.

23:42

You can make the case that the eye is in

23:44

fact just part of the brain. So,

23:46

like, it's very closely connected.

23:48

The optic nerve does you know,

23:50

like, there's processing that goes on before

23:52

and after it. And so it's

23:54

you know, where where you draw the line for for the brain. So

23:56

you could kinda maybe make the case that, like, you

23:58

can loop lump in some nervous tissue

24:00

with the eye. In which case,

24:02

you have two eyes with

24:05

two stocks coming down and maybe you

24:07

can, like, break together a little bit before

24:09

branching out again. And then that's, like,

24:11

That's a back you could have legs. You

24:13

could have a full body. Maybe

24:15

you don't have legs, but maybe you just have

24:17

sort of a pogo stick. That

24:19

is your optic nerve. There's two ten related

24:21

materials. Right. But they kinda inter they

24:23

kinda intertwine. But then at the end, they can break apart

24:25

so you can have legs. I don't see why

24:28

not. But but why do you need red? Why

24:30

can't because I like this image that you showed

24:32

me. I wanted to be walking around and

24:34

alright. But I'm just gonna tell you that

24:36

if we have two legs -- Mhmm. -- and a five foot

24:39

nine eyeball. We

24:41

are a pair of eyeballs, actually.

24:43

I worry that we are

24:45

journeying away from Emerson

24:48

toward Mike

24:48

Wieczowski. And

24:50

that's a concern

24:53

to me. Well, that's what I said. I don't

24:55

think this country song is about Mike

24:57

Wiezowski, except with brown eye.

24:59

I think that the author of this poem

25:01

that is this country music song wants

25:03

us to to picture something that

25:05

is in vaguely the form of a woman

25:07

but is made out of eyeballs. And

25:09

so I think it has to

25:11

be a little bit like

25:13

not Mike Wazowski shaped. I think it

25:15

has to be more like the image you've shown me here

25:17

where there's like legs

25:20

and a and it but it's wearing a sun dress. And but

25:22

then But there's no face, no head, just

25:24

eyeballs. Right. Right. Okay.

25:26

Alright. I think I think we're there.

25:28

I think we've settled on a

25:31

description. But unfortunately, there

25:33

is another critical level

25:35

to this lyric. Oh, no. Which is

25:37

not that Emerson or Hank or

25:39

John or this country musician made

25:42

five foot nine brown eyes in a sun

25:45

dress but that God did. This is a theological

25:47

statement that God did. Did you

25:49

notice that part of the core? Five

25:51

foot

25:51

nine brown eyes in a sundress. Oh, and

25:53

that for me is the is

25:55

the biggest surprise. Because

25:58

Well, I just I feel like I've been around

26:01

for a while. I'm forty five

26:03

years old. And I'll tell you one thing that I've

26:05

never seen on God's greener 357- Mhmm.

26:07

--

26:07

five foot nine brown eyes in a sun

26:09

dress. God, it really does make it sound like the

26:11

eyes themselves are five foot nine and

26:14

that including the optic nerve is a

26:16

stretch. But

26:16

look, I don't know how this might We'd have to consult

26:19

with him to understand the

26:21

full authorial intent. But as you

26:23

know, Hank, I believe that

26:26

books and art and country songs all

26:28

belong to their readers or listeners.

26:30

And so the the the meaning is their us

26:32

is Rick.

26:32

So but, like, I mean, who

26:34

else made it? I mean,

26:38

That's a really

26:41

good point. That's a really surprised me.

26:43

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then again, at the end

26:45

of the chorus, he says God makes the good stuff.

26:48

So he got mace the good stuff, which which

26:50

is maybe the part I have the most

26:52

trouble

26:52

with. That that

26:55

is that's a weird way to settle the problem

26:57

of evil in the world, but I kinda like

26:59

it. It's very simple and straightforward. Right? It's

27:01

like, oh, no. God just makes the good stuff.

27:03

Well, but it does. But nine inch tall,

27:06

it brown eyes and a sun retroactively

27:08

applies to the eyes. Which that's

27:10

not my first sense. And I

27:12

don't wanna judge. Right. Right.

27:14

But it's different if I So I think I

27:16

would be worried about It's good

27:18

or evilness. If I

27:20

saw two 357 foot

27:23

tall brown eyes in a

27:25

trench coat,

27:26

in a sun dress. Uh-huh.

27:28

I'm

27:28

not sure I would my

27:30

first reaction would be. No. That's

27:32

the good stuff. But

27:37

but but we've been told.

27:39

We know that it is.

27:46

Oh, you mean, God does make the good

27:48

stuff. That's the good stuff right there. You're

27:50

welcome. You're

27:51

welcome. God

27:52

says, all his trial and travail, but I did give

27:55

you five foot nine -- John. -- inch round

27:57

eyes and his sun dress. You know what I'd like to

27:59

do? And I don't know if him maybe he'll pull

28:01

this off. Okay.

28:03

Because I got a lot to do before the the

28:05

Christmas break, which we're recording before that.

28:07

I'd like to record a

28:09

version of this song having never heard

28:12

it. That's a great

28:14

idea. And you just I mean,

28:16

is it crazy to try just try to do it now?

28:18

Just work just workshop with

28:20

me? Well, I don't know what the rhymes scheme is yet.

28:22

I have not looked at it at all. Jack

28:24

makes good whiskey. Yeah. Red

28:26

dirt Jack makes good whiskey. Good

28:28

riding roads. Yep. Country -- Yep. --

28:30

makes good music for kicking up dust

28:33

in the taillight globe. Okay. I'm getting the the

28:35

snow here. Dry wood makes good

28:37

fires. Good years makes good swings. Oh,

28:40

nice because he was tired. Forever.

28:42

You I thought it was gonna be

28:44

tired. It's clever. See, there's a there's

28:46

an inversion of expectations. And that's

28:48

all good and that's all good, but

28:50

for me, God makes

28:53

five foot nine brown eyes in a sun

28:56

dress. Love That's good.

28:58

In a small town

28:59

accent. And no way that me and

29:02

his truck. Made or

29:04

fallen love. Jack

29:06

makes good whiskey, but

29:08

God makes good

29:09

stuff. Whoa.

29:12

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

29:14

I Before you go on, Hank, can I just point

29:16

out a couple things about the lyrics of this

29:19

song? I find completely Mhmm. First,

29:22

the lyrics talk about loving Tim

29:24

McGraw in a small town

29:26

acts and that used to be called a southern accent, but

29:29

now I I think country music is

29:31

trying to be inclusive of

29:34

people who live north of the Mason Dixon

29:36

line, but still Well, we love it

29:38

out here in Montana. Right.

29:40

And so do we in Indiana, rural

29:43

Indiana country music blasting everywhere. And

29:45

so that's an interesting shift, right,

29:47

away from a sort of regionalism --

29:49

Yeah. -- toward identifying based

29:51

on your proxy Simedy to an urban sentiment? Yes.

29:54

Correct. That's an interesting

29:56

cultural

29:56

shift. And then the other thing I wanna call

29:58

attention to, Hank, is that this is a

30:00

pretty short song.

30:02

And yet, there's two different kinds

30:04

of road surfaces in

30:06

this zone. I

30:09

mean, There's a lot. There's a lot

30:11

you can learn a lot from there's a lot of different kinds

30:13

of road surfaces, John. It's a big part of

30:16

life. We've got like, I feel like if you if you

30:18

gave this long to chat GPT. GPT

30:20

would be like interesting. I've

30:22

just learned something new about humans.

30:24

They're they're very intrigued by their

30:26

road surfacing. Right. There

30:29

are three things that people care about.

30:31

Large eyes, road

30:34

surfaces, and pick up and pick

30:36

up and pick up. I

30:38

don't know. God. I think the third

30:40

thing might be God. I

30:45

love the idea. I love the idea that Okay.

30:48

Okay. Alright. New concept. Uh-huh. Five foot nine

30:50

is the only thing

30:52

that travels from Earth to an

30:55

alien civilization. They're

30:57

gonna be so confident. They're

30:59

gonna, like, come visit Earth and they're gonna be

31:00

like, well, that's a surprise. And we'll be like,

31:03

what? And they'll be like, well, first off that you

31:05

have

31:05

bodies. We are pretty

31:06

sure that you are all five feet nine inches

31:09

tall and just eyeballs. And

31:10

just eyeballs in in sun

31:13

dresses. So this is

31:15

This all the other road surface. I can't

31:17

find it. Red dirt makes for good

31:19

riding roads. That's red dirt

31:22

roads. And then later in the song --

31:24

Mhmm. -- when I pull up in the gravel drive,

31:26

the way she dances with the raindrops, like

31:28

she's the reason why they fall

31:30

from the sky. And I thank him every

31:33

time I close my eyes. That's Emerson?

31:37

No. First of all,

31:39

Emerson, Emerson can't Emerson can't close as IHEG. He's a

31:41

transparent eyeball. There's no

31:43

blinking. There's no blinking allowed. The

31:45

thing about the drawing of the eyeball and the

31:47

suit coat is that eyeball supposed

31:49

to be invisible. It's a transparent

31:52

eyeball. I think

31:54

that this man whose name is Tyler

31:57

Hubbard, was imagining an

31:59

invisible set of five foot nine

32:01

eyes. They're transparent. You

32:03

can't see that. It's just a sun dress

32:05

that moves around. Is

32:07

like a ghost sun dress. Yeah.

32:09

That's that's I think we got there.

32:11

And I think we got there. Tyler Hubbard

32:13

was taking Eversons transparent eye deep

32:15

into his heart. Yeah. And what came out

32:17

was Emerson's transparent eye wearing

32:19

a sun dress, but the eye is

32:21

transparent. But there are

32:21

two there are two of them and one the bottom one rolls

32:24

around like BBA. But you can't see

32:26

it. Done. K?

32:28

Thanks for plotting with me. It's been a

32:30

pleasure. John, this

32:32

podcast was brought to you by the

32:34

the line. Jack makes

32:36

good whiskey, but God loves the good

32:38

stuff. It's one of the lines of the

32:40

song. Today's podcast course was also brought

32:42

to you by good years, make good

32:45

swings -- Mhmm. --

32:47

unexpected anti rhyme.

32:49

And this podcast is also brought to you by the way she

32:51

dances with the raindrops, like she's the

32:53

reason why they fall from the sky.

32:56

Actually, I think that's quite nice. Yeah.

32:58

It's not bad. And of course, today's podcast

33:00

is brought to you by a five foot nine

33:02

brown eyes in a sun dress.

33:04

Five foot nine brown eyes in a sun

33:07

dress, transparent, so it's

33:09

not weird. It's

33:11

just a ghost. It's just a ghost.

33:13

It's really It's just a mobile sun dress

33:15

as far as you can see. One

33:17

of my favorite tricks of language is how

33:19

a single word can also

33:21

become a sentence these are called

33:23

sentence words like stop

33:25

or eat. In Latin, one

33:27

sentence word is memento,

33:30

the second person imperative of

33:33

Mimisei, the verb to remember.

33:35

A momento then is an

33:37

invitation to remember. You

33:40

buy a snow globe of New York City

33:42

as a Memento, and then when you look

33:44

at it, you remember the trip. And

33:46

then, of course, there are Memento Mori,

33:48

which are intended to help you remember that you will

33:50

die. Historically, Momenta Maury

33:52

might be paintings of skulls or

33:54

sculptures of coffins But

33:57

a contemporary Momenta Maury

33:59

might look different. It might be,

34:01

for example, a

34:03

podcast advertisement. Momento, you

34:05

are going to die, and that's why there's

34:07

life insurance. With Policygenius, you get a smarter

34:09

way to find and

34:11

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policy genius, you can find insurance

34:20

policies that

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at just seventeen dollars per month for five hundred thousand dollars

34:24

of coverage. Go to policygenius dot

34:26

com or click the link in the description

34:28

to get your free life insurance quotes

34:31

and see how much you could save. Policy

34:34

genius, Momentum

34:36

worry. So

34:40

I'm so glad I showed up today,

34:42

John, so that I could provide this

34:44

level of insight into our

34:47

future as we head into

34:49

twenty twenty three in collaboration with

34:51

both time and space and

34:53

our own bodies. I really love your new emphasis on

34:56

collaborating with time and space and your

34:58

body. I do. This is how I feel. It's beautiful. Trying

35:00

that's trying I'm trying to imagine it.

35:03

Even as I lie on the floor of my

35:05

bathroom with food poisoning. So, Hank, that's

35:07

your big goal for twenty twenty three.

35:09

And I talk jokingly in the last episode about my big goals

35:11

for twenty twenty three, but I do have some some

35:14

serious goals as well. Okay. I

35:16

would like to

35:18

get off of the parts of the social Internet that are

35:20

really, really bad for me. And I know they're bad

35:22

for me, and I think they're also probably bad for

35:24

the social order, but that's irrelevant because

35:26

they're bad for me. Yeah. But I

35:28

can't stop using them. I would like

35:30

to stop using the

35:32

things that are clearly

35:34

making

35:35

my life worse. That's one. Mhmm.

35:37

I I Can I do one

35:39

to write? Yeah. Yeah. You do. You do.

35:41

You go. Okay. Well,

35:44

I don't know. Maybe I thought

35:46

I had one, but I guess I don't.

35:49

Oh, you were so confident. The

35:52

other thing I really wanna do in twenty twenty three

35:54

is go to Sierra Leone. I really

35:56

want to -- Yeah. -- see

35:59

the progress that's happened over the

36:01

last three and a half years since

36:03

we've been working with partners

36:05

in health to radically

36:07

reduced maternal mortality in Sierra Leone.

36:10

I'm really excited to

36:12

see the changes that are

36:14

happening there. So hopefully, I'll get

36:16

exciting. That would be amazing.

36:18

Yeah. I've still never

36:20

gotten to go. Well, we'd love to have

36:22

you. Yes.

36:24

I'm sure. I hope I hope that you get to show lots of important

36:26

people around. I wanna know,

36:28

do you have any feeling

36:32

of confidence of of a

36:34

thing about the next year that you think might happen that

36:36

people would be surprised by?

36:41

Like a prediction? Yeah. You want

36:43

my you want my unexpected hot

36:45

take prediction for twenty

36:47

twenty three? Sure. And this is this is

36:49

piping hot. Okay? I

36:52

think at the end of twenty twenty

36:56

three, Elon Musk will

36:58

be the CEO of Twitter.

37:02

Wow. That's really that's an interesting one.

37:04

So, like, he will be

37:06

un CEO, but then he will re

37:08

CEO. I don't even know if he's gonna

37:10

un CEO, but I think that he will be

37:12

the CEO of a much

37:14

diminished Twitter. Like

37:16

like my space Tom overseeing

37:18

his empire of empty accounts, I

37:20

think that he will be the CEO

37:23

of Twitter. I know MySpace Tom sold

37:25

MySpace. Again, it's now just live in the

37:27

dream. But I'm trying I'm I'm trying to make a

37:29

point here people. That's what I think.

37:31

That think of what would be the spiciest

37:34

take I can have. You wanna have a

37:36

very spicy. You wanna take a risky

37:38

one that's gonna look really amazing if you

37:40

get it right. Yeah. And then

37:42

if I get it wrong, it'll just be, like,

37:44

whatever. But I love taking your I

37:46

love taking a risk with my

37:48

takes. Okay. What's yours? I think we're gonna be

37:50

on Mars, but no.

37:52

We get

37:53

we got it. We're gonna get

37:56

there. It So

37:58

I think it makes sense that our our thoughts on this are

38:00

gonna be based in the parts of

38:03

the world that spend so

38:05

much time and and that are sort of our

38:08

homes in a weird way, which

38:10

is the social

38:12

Internet. And And so my sort of social Internet take

38:14

is that this is

38:16

the last that

38:19

this this will sort of, like, feel as

38:21

if it were the last year of TikTok's dominance. Like, twenty

38:24

twenty twenty two was. And

38:26

now there are so

38:28

many headwinds and

38:30

there will also be there will start to be a kind like, you

38:33

know, larger scale understanding that

38:35

this is like a little

38:37

bit less cool. Than it once

38:40

was. And maybe the

38:42

new cool thing will

38:44

start to be seen.

38:46

And in general, that the that

38:48

the cohesion of the social Internet where there

38:50

was a sense that there was Instagram,

38:54

Twitter, TikTok,

38:56

YouTube, and Facebook,

38:58

like that cohesion will

39:01

continue to fracture. And there

39:03

will be more and more places

39:05

where people spend time And ultimately,

39:07

I think that might be healthy where there are

39:09

different places for folks instead of

39:11

everybody trying to occupy the exact

39:13

same spaces each

39:16

other. Yeah. Because then

39:17

in some ways it becomes a battle for territory

39:20

within the limited space that is

39:22

Twitter discourse or that

39:24

is Reddit of

39:26

becoming a place for conversation.

39:28

Like, the the the Internet places

39:30

that I'm most drawn to at

39:34

the moment are places that are well

39:36

moderated and that encourage

39:38

and reward and incentivize kindness

39:41

and a a hermeneutic of generosity,

39:44

like a way of looking at others and

39:46

assuming the best in

39:48

them. And

39:50

the places that I am drawn to, but that make me less

39:52

happy are

39:54

the places where everybody's

39:58

fighting to own

40:00

the space. To win. I

40:02

think to win to win the space. That's

40:04

it. And and III

40:07

think that everybody who sort of looks at

40:09

a space, any space. But, you

40:11

know, we're thinking about the Internet right now. Who looks at

40:13

it in an Internet space

40:16

and thinks, you know, we must win over them and or

40:18

we are losing. Yeah. I think

40:20

that everybody who looks at it through those that

40:22

lens, and I think that that there's

40:26

currently somebody who's own owning

40:28

Twitter who looks at it that

40:30

way, is

40:32

is really wrong about how progress gets made

40:34

and about how humanity moves forward.

40:36

Because I don't I don't think

40:40

that much was ever accomplished

40:42

through winning. I think that almost

40:44

everything good has been accomplished through

40:46

working together.

40:48

Yeah. Yeah. I think that

40:50

the winning is, like, such an opposite thing

40:52

to working together, like, that -- Right. --

40:54

that yeah. Winning is

40:57

much more narratively compelling. But

40:59

when you look at what actually made change, it's

41:02

almost always people

41:04

working together. There the

41:07

the whole idea that held the world back for

41:09

so so long was that for me to

41:12

have more you must

41:14

have less. For, you

41:16

know, that in order for one

41:18

community, the way for one

41:20

community to thrive is to take another

41:22

community's through

41:24

looting and pillaging

41:26

and carving up

41:29

space, winning territory, those kinds

41:32

of straightforward simple ways

41:34

of thinking about resource allocation.

41:38

And that is of course

41:40

the wrong way. And the way

41:42

that almost universally we've

41:45

grown as a species is

41:48

through collaboration and cooperation.

41:50

That said, I don't see those places on

41:52

the Internet yet. Like, I see them in little ways.

41:54

I see them in nerdfighteria. I see them

41:56

in certain discord communities. I see them in certain subreddits.

41:59

But I don't

42:02

see them in the of

42:04

Internet mainstream. And I do worry

42:06

sometimes that we're so

42:08

extremely online -- Yeah. --

42:10

we don't see it as much because

42:13

Well, the thing is is different. Yeah.

42:15

The whenever your Internet

42:17

is bigger, the number of like, if if

42:19

there is some edge of the

42:22

bell curve, who is just like, you know, ten people who are figure

42:24

out how to interpret your

42:26

words in the worst possible light. They will.

42:30

all ten of those people. And then -- Yeah. --

42:32

and, you know, the and then they can make that case

42:34

and and, like, convince

42:36

others of that

42:38

or whatever. But I have started to see

42:40

signs that that

42:41

that, you know, there are ways in which

42:44

that's starting to feel a little cringey

42:46

for folks. Like,

42:48

there's I think Rebecca Jennings had a piece on how all

42:50

of the worst discourse kind of

42:53

has the same

42:53

flavor. And once you mentioned she

42:56

mentioned me in it, Once

42:58

you can smell it, you

42:59

know the smell. And you're like, oh, I

43:01

don't like that

43:03

smell. Right. Right. But you you you have to be exposed to a lot of it

43:06

to know the smell. And I guess my

43:08

worry is that there's a huge percentage of

43:10

the Internet that

43:12

still has That's so different from our Internet. It has not developed

43:14

that sense of smell yet. Yeah.

43:18

Yeah. But I I

43:20

see signs that we kind of are moving away from that

43:22

a little bit, but it's very hard to know for

43:25

sure. Yeah. Agreed. Well, here's hoping that

43:27

in twenty twenty three, the 357

43:30

gets not

43:32

worse. And

43:34

here is also hoping that the world gets better. The

43:36

other thing that twenty twenty three could

43:39

very well be if we

43:41

do a good job of working together

43:44

is the last year in human

43:46

history when more than

43:48

five million children die before the

43:50

age of five. Wow.

43:53

So

43:53

that would represent some

43:56

serious

43:57

progress. But we

44:00

need to get down to a world where fewer than

44:02

a million children die before the age of five

44:04

every year. And we can do that easily

44:06

with existing technologies if

44:08

we just distribute resources

44:08

better. So

44:09

here at the end of the year, Hank, I'm very grateful to

44:12

you for supporting PIH

44:15

and other organizations that are working

44:17

to bring about that world and also

44:19

to everybody in our community who does whether through

44:21

the awesome socks club, the awesome

44:23

coffee club just direct donations at PIH dot org slash

44:25

Hank and John or wherever you are

44:28

seeking to decrease the overall

44:30

worldwide level of suck. Or the for

44:32

awesome, which is coming up. I'm very

44:34

excited. It'll be in February. Count

44:36

down on my phone going, so I can see

44:39

How far away we are from the Radagor awesome.

44:41

It's gonna be fun this year. Yeah.

44:43

For sure. So here at the end of the year, we're gonna skip

44:45

the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon,

44:47

not least, because The news from AFC

44:49

Wimbledon is all about frozen pitches and just say thank

44:52

you. If you want to send us an email or a Hank

44:54

and John gmail dot and

44:56

if you haven't filled out the survey,

44:58

you can do that where the

45:00

NerdWallet census for twenty twenty two is

45:02

out, and you can find a link to it.

45:05

On the vlogbrothers channel. If you

45:07

wanna check that out, I don't know what

45:09

it is exactly. But go and click

45:11

and tell us Yeah. You can just Google it. I don't know if

45:13

you can, but because of the vloggers too. Well,

45:15

it's linked on one of I've been

45:17

believing you or on the

45:20

community tab. And if you wanna send us an email or at hankadron at gmail

45:22

dot com, you can answer your question. Sorry,

45:24

we didn't get to a lot today. I

45:26

don't know how many you did before I got

45:28

here, but One, we

45:30

we got a little over interested

45:33

in eyeballs. It was the

45:35

topic Dejure. And this podcast is

45:37

edited by Josephina Manage produced by rojasz. Our communications coordinator

45:39

is Brook Schottwell, our editorial assistant is

45:41

the Wilke Trachman Verde.

45:44

Music you're hearing now at the beginning of the podcast by roll up. And

45:46

as they say in our hometown, don't

45:49

forget to be awesome. Jack

45:56

makes good

46:00

whiskey here.

46:04

Red Dead Earth makes good ride

46:06

and

46:07

rules. The country makes good

46:10

music. If you're gigging

46:12

up does and until light blue.

46:14

Oh, dry wood makes good

46:16

fires and good news, Good

46:20

swings, and that's all

46:22

good. But for me.

46:24

God makes that fun now brought

46:27

us in a sun dress, loves taking the grand, a

46:29

small town accent, ain't no way.

46:31

That mean this truck made

46:34

her fall in love.

46:38

Jack makes good whiskey,

46:40

but God makes the good

46:42

stuff. God makes

46:44

the good stuff

46:48

fool you. Jack makes

46:51

good whiskey, but God

46:53

makes the good stuff. Whoa.

46:55

God makes the good

46:57

stuff.