0:00

Hey. Hey. So listen.

0:04

We're in Jamaica. Cold open. We're

0:07

in Jamaica right now. We're on vacation. Hank

0:09

and me because we're not just brothers

0:11

on the Internet. We're also brothers in real life.

0:14

It's pretty cool. And We're

0:16

recording this on an iPhone, so apologies

0:19

for the poor sound quality. That's

0:21

gonna sound great. But we had to run away

0:23

from our spouses to record it at all.

0:27

Now we we have to send them to the

0:30

spa. I'm not sure that this is how they

0:33

prefer for

0:35

this to have gone. For vacations to

0:37

go. Yeah. But we're here. We're

0:42

gonna answer some of your questions provide you

0:44

with dubious advice in bringing all the week's news from both Mars

0:46

and AsC Wimbledon, but we're gonna do it in a

0:48

little more of a chill wave. Real

0:51

chill vlog. Lives today. It's more of

0:53

an easy listening DJ

0:55

Energy. Like, we're we're in like,

0:57

we're surrounded by a bamboo fence.

1:00

Which we

1:00

are. Imagine that. I

1:02

feel like the main thing that those

1:05

great DJs do to make you

1:07

feel calm is they extend

1:09

the last salable -- Uh-huh. --

1:12

of the phrase. For a while. Yeah.

1:15

Alright.

1:15

What's your name? Yeah. Yep. I wanna tell you

1:17

story about this. Morning. Wait.

1:19

Is this gonna be a damn dad joke? No.

1:22

No. So last night, I woke

1:24

up in the middle of the night in Jamaica in my

1:26

room because it sounded like someone

1:29

had knocked a shampoo bottle. Oh,

1:32

in the bathroom off of the

1:34

thing and it hit the ground. I went, 362. And

1:37

I was like that. Look, here's the situation.

1:39

This is what I because I'm very tired. Yeah. Very

1:41

tired. And I was like, mhmm. Either

1:43

that was nothing -- Mhmm. -- of importance

1:45

-- Mhmm. -- or there's a person in my hotel.

1:48

Room. In either situation,

1:50

the right call -- Mhmm. -- is to lay

1:52

here --

1:53

Yep. -- quietly. Yep. With my

1:55

eyes closed. Yep.

1:56

Because if I do

1:58

that almost every night, it

2:01

it's not gonna get better if I'm like,

2:03

what are you doing in here? And

2:06

and so I laid there. And I was actually pretty at

2:08

peace because I knew there was, like, ninety nine point nine

2:10

nine percent chance -- Mhmm. -- that it was some

2:12

just something. Mhmm. And then

2:14

about twenty minutes later, I was still awake because

2:17

I wasn't that at ease. was

2:19

still awake and and I heard

2:21

the noise again. But this time

2:23

--

2:23

Mhmm. -- it was obviously because

2:25

at this point I was awake

2:26

and not being woken up Mhmm. -- a fruit

2:29

bat dropping a mango on the pork Oh,

2:31

yeah. We

2:33

had a couple we had a couple of fruit bats

2:35

drop a couple of things on the porch here too.

2:37

Yeah. I was like I was one of my shit, but

2:40

like eight more times. Also,

2:42

just a fruit bat living its absolute yes

2:44

life. Uh-huh. Yeah.

2:47

We've had a great time in 362, full disclosure.

2:50

We have had a few drinks today.

2:53

Yeah. I've had a half a drink. I'm

2:55

having a drink now. It's

2:58

it's good. It's good. It's delicious. John,

3:01

do you wanna answer some questions from our

3:03

listeners? You're the one with the question. But

3:05

I can't

3:06

Well, I was asking you if you wanted to do it. I'm

3:08

recording. By the way, if you're impressed with

3:10

the recording quality, I just want you to know

3:12

it's all me. John is holding it in his hand

3:14

so careful Like, it's a delicate flower.

3:16

You see that lizard? Where where? Right

3:18

over there, man. That's a Oh,

3:20

he's a big one. This is great radio. You

3:23

see that you see that lizard? That's

3:26

straight out of this American life school

3:28

of audio description. We're on the back

3:31

porch

3:31

362. So and, like, there's a walkway

3:34

right behind us. So -- Yeah. -- you're, like, y'all aren't

3:36

the only people getting the show? No.

3:38

My name is Maddie -- Mhmm. -- Maddie Ray to

3:40

hear you, John. And I'm eating the hard boiled

3:42

eggs from my lunch tomorrow. Good. Now that I

3:44

finished boiling my

3:45

eggs, I have a pot of hard boiled eggwater leftover,

3:47

and I

3:48

362 use said eggwater to make my coffee,

3:50

but my mom says no. It's unacceptable. I

3:54

believe my idea is efficient, environmentally

3:56

conscious, and inventive. Plus,

3:59

I would imagine that the residual cow

4:01

see him in the water from the

4:04

egg show. Could be beneficial.

4:07

Wow. Question is gonna drink hard boiled

4:09

egg water. Would

4:11

generally value your inside pumpkins

4:13

and penguins and

4:14

eggs. Maddy. Maddy,

4:17

this is so disgusting. It's So

4:21

bad, Maddie. It's really bad.

4:24

I don't know why. There's like a lot of

4:26

other things that you can do with that water, you

4:28

know, like, put it on the plants. Exactly.

4:31

Just water the plant. You think it's that calcium's

4:33

gonna be helping you or you or boiling water

4:35

on the plant, though it's already hot. So

4:37

there's three efficiencies. Okay. Alright.

4:39

The water's already hot. That's part of the that's

4:41

part of

4:41

it. That's of it. There's three efficiencies. There's

4:43

the efficiency of you don't have to use any extra

4:46

water. Right. There's the efficiency if 362 don't have

4:48

to use any extra

4:48

heat. Right. And there's the efficiency of

4:51

Matti's time. Right. And and

4:53

that actually the heat one actually

4:55

is environmentally sensitive.

4:58

You know, like, there is uh-huh.

5:00

There's a there's a -- Yeah. -- takes a lot of energy.

5:02

Energy cost 362 heating up the water that Maddie

5:05

is gonna use for for for for Maddie's coffee.

5:07

Uh-huh. Now there's also three costs

5:09

that Maddie is incurring. Oh, great.

5:12

Great. I see you've done some prep work.

5:16

Really? I'm not sure what they are yet.

5:19

We're gonna find out.

5:24

It's so cost number one.

5:26

No. That's the third one. The one you're thinking of

5:28

now is definitely number three. No. Cost number one

5:31

is the social cost. Now let's number

5:33

three. No. No. No.

5:36

No. I'm on the fifth. So do you have

5:38

to save the funniest one for the third? No.

5:40

It's not the funniest. Oh, damn excited

5:42

to 362 else you got? The social

5:44

cost is just like the absolute life

5:47

shock tour. It's like, I know the

5:49

social cost. Yeah. Now, Maddie's mom

5:51

knows. But now so

5:53

does everybody who

5:55

listens to this podcast, but it's, you know,

5:57

it's like when I revealed to the world that

5:59

I drink. Or I eat my cereal

6:01

moistened with water --

6:03

Yeah.

6:03

-- tap water. And now, like, every time you go anywhere,

6:05

there's people who are wearing John Green as a

6:07

monster serial water shirts.

6:11

No. But, like, it's very similar to

6:13

the situation Matti's in, except for

6:15

the the second and third cost. Which

6:17

we haven't gotten to yet, which is that,

6:19

like, there's it's a it's a bummer

6:21

when people look at you with

6:23

that shock and horror that your mother

6:25

surely look that you live. So

6:28

that's cost number one. Yeah. So

6:30

I guess Do you know do you know what cost two

6:32

and three are? I know I take one. You take cost

6:34

two. Okay. Too is there's some there

6:36

are things in this water -- Uh-huh.

6:39

-- that aren't in the normal water that is

6:41

used to make

6:41

coffee. And and people who make coffee

6:43

assume that you're gonna have water than

6:46

not taking some foil eggs. I

6:50

don't know what's in there, but I know it gotta

6:53

have some, like, hydrogen sulfide which

6:55

is the egg

6:55

smell. Yeah. And

6:56

you don't want eggs in your coffee.

6:59

Like, you boil eggs. And you you

7:01

do get a little bit of an egg

7:02

smell. Right? I think you do.

7:03

Some I think there's a donut I'm sick. I'll

7:05

tell you what Hank I'm starting to think that Maddie

7:07

might have a case to make here. Well, but there's also,

7:10

like, you know where their health concern is one

7:12

of the

7:12

main places that egg has been because

7:14

I know what where where one place every

7:16

egg has been -- Yeah. -- I know. -- in the 362 of

7:18

the chicken. Yeah. And I know that sometimes they've

7:20

been I don't know. You might be British in which case that

7:22

hasn't been washed as much. Mhmm. So in

7:24

America, we wash them and then you have to you have to

7:26

refrigerate them because they don't have that protective.

7:28

Right. Blare. Even so. Yeah.

7:31

I don't think you necessarily want

7:33

362, like, lick raw egg shells,

7:36

which is essentially what 362 doing. I mean,

7:38

I guess the water's boiled. It's been

7:40

so you're just you're licking boiled egg

7:42

shells. Yeah. So that

7:43

are you a little worried about the the sanitation.

7:46

So we've got we've got some sanitation

7:48

concerns and some taste related concerns,

7:50

which are related to each other. Right? That's maybe

7:52

that's two and three or did you have an no. No.

7:54

We that's too that we think that we think so

7:57

number one is people will be horrified. Yeah.

7:59

That's true. It's it's gross. Uh-huh.

8:02

And then I think I think number

8:04

three, Hold on. I'm thinking. I

8:06

didn't have it. Yeah. I did have it earlier,

8:09

man, but then I got real into your thing about

8:11

the eggwater. 00I

8:16

remember the third cost. Okay. And

8:18

this is a common cost that goes unnoticed

8:20

a lot of times. Is

8:22

Maddie, if you do this, you're gonna have to live

8:25

with yourself. Do

8:28

you know if for the rest of your life, you're gonna

8:30

have to live with yourself. Yeah.

8:35

You know? Well, yeah. But because you can't

8:37

362 can't It's an internal social

8:39

lost. Like, unrear social beings even absent

8:42

the judgment of others. You can't unmake a

8:44

mistake.

8:49

But here's the thing. Maybe you can put bunch

8:51

of calcium in the egg in the coffee

8:53

water. It's better. There's

8:55

only one way to find out, and maybe Matt 362 be

8:58

the only person who knows, because even if it

9:00

is better -- Mhmm. -- I'm not doing it. This

9:02

next question comes from Catherine who asks, Kieran

9:04

and John. At a lecturer at my 362, the

9:06

professors speaking told an anecdote about

9:08

how he started to farm a few years

9:10

ago -- Mhmm. -- as a way to encourage

9:13

us that everyone fails. He told us

9:15

that his major farming failure was

9:17

that three months after getting his animals, all of

9:19

his chickens were dead because the cows ate

9:22

them I thought he was kidding

9:24

because cows definitely don't eat chickens. Right?

9:26

But he seemed serious. And when I googled

9:29

it, there's a story about a cow named Lau,

9:31

who ate forty eight chickens. I

9:33

was taught in elementary 362, the cows, our herbivores,

9:36

was I lied 362. Our cows 362 full

9:38

of bloodless and coming for us in the night.

9:41

Check out on the check out of the bed for a hundred

9:43

cows. Katherine. Well,

9:45

bulls are definitely coming for us. All the

9:47

time. Like, have you ever near a bull? You're like,

9:50

oh, you you're not chill at all.

9:53

You're not being cool about this 362. You

9:55

know, you're insane. So

9:58

there's that. But I also think I mean, I'm

10:00

not an expert on this, Hank. Okay. Am I

10:02

correct in assuming that wild cows

10:04

don't usually

10:05

eat Mhmm. Animals, they

10:07

still can kill them. Not

10:09

only do they do that, but cows

10:12

are always eating. Animals. They're just usually

10:14

very small. Those cows

10:16

just like chickens, lilies, bugs, they

10:18

bugs all the time, and I think that they even

10:21

intentionally eat bugs sometime. Mhmm. Eating

10:25

a lot of meat can be bad for a cow?

10:27

Sure. But almost

10:29

all herbivores eat meat. And

10:31

this is this is relatively recent.

10:33

So if you don't feel like this makes this

10:36

didn't, like, hit your schooling. It's not necessarily

10:38

because you relied to because

10:40

we didn't know it at the time. Wow. But,

10:42

like, as we have continued to

10:44

study, like, animals that

10:47

are deer. Like, we'll see, like, well, you know,

10:49

there's takes a lot of time to 362 of observe

10:52

every moment of a deer's life. But now we

10:54

see that deer will sort of preferentially,

10:57

like, go to bird nests

10:59

and eat baby chicks in the nest.

11:02

Really? And you're like, that's a deer. That's

11:04

not cool. That's like that's like monster

11:06

behavior.

11:07

Yeah. But I haven't heard anything that messed

11:09

up since Maddie wanted to make coffee out

11:11

of her eggwater. So

11:15

next time you watch Bambi and you're so choked

11:17

up about all this business. Just

11:20

remember Bambi's mama was a monster.

11:22

Maybe deserved what was coming too. Yeah.

11:25

Just like the rest of us. I don't know. hope

11:27

people don't get mad at me for that. What

11:29

is it 362? Okay. I don't use the

11:31

word about getting canceled for that one.

11:33

That's baby's vomiting. That doesn't feel

11:36

like the

11:36

one. That doesn't feel like the one.

11:38

362. mean, it's coming. I for sure, but

11:40

that's not it. And

11:46

I think that

11:50

that that cattle feed --

11:52

Mhmm. -- even contains some meat

11:54

and bone meal.

11:55

Okay. Great. So

11:57

what's our next question? Always learning --

11:59

Yep. -- and watch out. Especially

12:02

if you're a chicken. Fear the herbivores. Fear

12:05

the cow. Do you this next question

12:08

comes from Noah who asks, Dear Hank and John,

12:10

does soup make you pee? Stop asking

12:12

to be about my arc, Noah. Yeah.

12:15

I probably gets old. bet it

12:17

does. Does 362 make you pee dry?

12:20

Yes. Correct. Moving on.

12:22

This next person comes from Nico who asks Kieran

12:25

and John. Yeah. My fiancee is confused

12:27

about electricity. He calls it electricary.

12:35

Agree. I love the idea of

12:38

a conspiracy theorist who thinks

12:40

that electricity isn't real. 362

12:43

that, like, here's some other like,

12:45

it's the government doing it with government thoughts.

12:48

Yeah. What could electricity be?

12:51

Well, that isn't really cool. We'll continue to keep

12:53

going. His main issue. He is.

12:55

Yeah. How does electricity know to go

12:58

down a wire that's connected to a circuit,

13:00

but never go on down the wire that's a dead end.

13:02

How does it know not to travel into a

13:04

dead

13:05

end? Mhmm. Does it send

13:06

scouts? Please help. Yeah.

13:09

Electric or treats. Yeah. Micah.

13:11

What do you got? You got anything here?

13:13

I got a little metaphor that think will be helpful.

13:17

362 go. 362 go and see what

13:19

you got. Alright. Well, I I want

13:21

them I want another Tingling, so I was hoping

13:23

that you'd go on one of your long science

13:25

rambles. Well and I could get myself

13:27

a cock tail. This is just rum

13:30

and this soda called

13:31

dink. Yeah. If it's yeah.

13:33

Yeah. Actually, I'm gonna do that. You you go on one

13:35

of your go on one of your science friends. Again,

13:37

so he's a situation. Imagine

13:41

anytime that that people are confused

13:43

about electricity or I'm confused about

13:46

electricity, I've tend to think to myself.

13:49

Okay. It's all just like water.

13:51

So there's pipes and there's stuff flowing

13:53

through the pipes. And the stuff flowing

13:56

through the pipes of this water. Now it's and it's

13:58

it's kind of this so imagine, for example,

14:01

that if you put, like, a little bit of

14:03

water into a pipe that's already full of water.

14:05

The little bit of water at the at the front

14:08

isn't the water that's coming out of the back. So

14:10

if you put like new electricity into a wire,

14:12

the electrons that are coming in the back,

14:14

like the ones you just created, aren't the ones

14:16

that are coming out of the other end. They're getting

14:18

pushed through the whole system out

14:21

the other end. And in the

14:23

same way, you can imagine if you

14:25

have a pipe that leads to nothing, that

14:27

type is full of electrons and they're not going

14:29

anywhere. And so there's no like so

14:31

if if if an electron tries to

14:33

get in there, it's already full. Now if something

14:36

connects to a circuit at the end of that pipe,

14:38

then suddenly those electrons will have

14:40

somewhere to go and those new electrons will flow in

14:42

to take up the space and they'll they'll be pushing

14:44

But if there's no place for it to

14:46

go, if there's no, like, outlet for

14:49

the electrons to flow out of, then

14:51

there It doesn't matter how much pressure you push

14:53

on the end of that pipe. You can't put

14:55

water through it. You can't put electrons through

14:57

it because it's already full of

14:59

water. And no matter how hard you

15:02

push, you can't get any more in. Now the

15:04

moment you give any opportunity

15:06

for someone to come out the other end, if you have bunch of

15:08

pressure, they will pop out other end for sure. Which

15:10

is why you don't 362 stick a fork into lunch or

15:12

a second. But that

15:14

that is how I imagine it. Okay. And it

15:16

is always very helpful it's also

15:18

sort of, like, helpful in terms of, like, how wide

15:20

the pipe is, how much, you know, resistance

15:23

inside of the pipe, how fast the current is

15:25

flowing through the pipe. Has

15:27

has analogs. And

15:29

and it sort of, you know, sometimes people will

15:31

come at you because this isn't a perfect metaphor and

15:33

of course it's not. But it's

15:35

a lot more helpful than any other metaphor I've

15:37

ever used to help me understand sort of day

15:39

to day of how electricity

15:41

works. Great. Well, I thought that was

15:43

a good answer and it was long enough for me to

15:45

get my my drink. John

15:49

has discovered on this trip just how

15:52

much I need bifocals and he will not

15:54

let me sit down. It's hilarious. Like,

15:57

I mean, I need bifocals. My

15:59

my doctor was like, hey, you need bifocals and

16:01

I was like, you shut your mouth.

16:04

My doctor on the other hand was like, study. You

16:06

can go another five years. No. 362

16:09

will not. You can't even go another

16:11

five minutes. Like, I'm like, just

16:13

trying to do everything. He

16:16

either has to have the phone

16:18

so far away from his body that, like,

16:21

his arm can barely get there. It's

16:23

Corey has to have it, like, right

16:25

underneath his nose. It's

16:27

a problem. Yeah. It's not great. But it's

16:29

okay. It's just weird to me that my my

16:32

younger brother would need bifocals. Like, I'm

16:34

worried about what that implies for me.

16:38

There's so many science questions. 362 wanna

16:40

try another science

16:40

question? Yeah. I'm good at them. Okay. This one's from Angela

16:43

who asks, Dear Hank and John, I recently purchased

16:45

a heating pad at CVS.

16:46

Yep. Safety instructions state

16:48

362 not use in an oxygen atmosphere.

16:51

That's a great plan. Does this mean that the

16:53

product is not safe for use on

16:56

Earth? No. We don't have an oxygen

16:58

atmosphere. My heating pad to Mars, but not

17:00

until after twenty twenty six, Angela.

17:02

It's not twenty twenty six, is it? I think it's

17:04

twenty twenty seven.

17:06

That's so soon. I know. But don't worry,

17:08

Elon's on it. Yeah.

17:11

So the reason we don't live in an oxygen

17:13

atmosphere. We mostly,

17:16

most of air is nitrogen. Yeah. It's

17:18

weird to understand this is something Hank's been

17:20

writing a lot about. It's weird to understand that

17:22

air is made out of stuff. Mhmm. That

17:24

362 can feel it a little bit here in

17:26

the in the Caribbean that air is

17:28

made out of stuff. Like but 362,

17:31

it's hard to remember that air is made out of stuff, but

17:33

most of the stuff is nitrogen. Until you until

17:35

you stick your head out of the window of a moving

17:37

car. That's true. Then you feel it. Most

17:41

of the most of

17:43

the air is nitrogen. And

17:46

if you are in a pure oxygen environment,

17:50

really hot things that

17:52

may

17:53

have a a spark associated

17:56

with them. Are real bad.

17:59

Right. Yeah. The the the flammability, like

18:01

things burn much more easily in a pure

18:03

oxygen atmosphere, and and this and

18:05

you are likely to

18:07

have a lot of oxygen around in certain

18:10

medical situations. But usually, it's

18:12

not 362 be a pure oxygen atmosphere. It's

18:14

gonna be there there is

18:16

pure oxygen that's going straight into the

18:18

nose -- Right. -- or nose and mouth

18:21

of the person who needs the

18:22

oxygen. Right. And and

18:24

that that helps 362 get

18:27

get the get the oxygen in the blood.

18:30

Your heating pad is good,

18:31

man. Yeah.

18:32

Your heating pad is good, man. Yeah.

18:34

But you gotta watch out if you're ever

18:36

inside of a Martian habitat and you start

18:38

noticing that they're increasing oxygen levels

18:40

because that

18:41

might mean that people who are trying

18:43

to put down your rebellion are about to burn down

18:45

your entire appetite. That

18:47

is really, really true. Why

18:50

not for that? I've noticed that in

18:55

Red Mars. I'm

18:56

not sure which one it was, but yeah, it was one of a

18:58

Alright. Good job. Thanks.

19:01

I was gonna guess I was gonna guess 362, but

19:03

then I remembered. Mhmm. That's not on

19:05

Mars. That's on a fake

19:07

Mars. Yeah. This

19:10

is one so I've got a knock off

19:11

invitation, Morris. Oh, gosh. So

19:13

John finally,

19:14

we have one that you are qualified for. From Clive.

19:16

I thought I did a good job without

19:18

officer Clive at all. It's Kyle. Okay.

19:20

It's not Kyle. This

19:23

is not

19:23

Kyle. Hi, Kyle. 362 asks, Dear Hank

19:25

and John, how many pancakes are required for his

19:28

stack? Well,

19:32

I mean, I am a little bit qualified. When I

19:34

worked at steak and sharing, the minimum

19:37

definition of a stack was three pancakes.

19:40

Okay. Now I think that

19:42

It's definitely not one. It's

19:44

definitely not one, and it's not four.

19:47

Oh. You do not need four pancakes to

19:49

make a

19:49

stack.

19:49

I feel like it might be set.

19:51

No. Almost no one can eat

19:53

six normal sized pancakes. Right. 362 can eat

19:55

six IHOP pancakes --

19:56

Yeah. -- little skinny ones. But but I'm

19:58

talking about a proper pancake, a steak shape.

20:00

Those are big boys. And I

20:03

think three is

20:06

the most you would ever wanna eat.

20:08

Yeah. And so I think it has to

20:10

be three. And then if you have 568

20:13

stacks, that's all fine. Anything

20:15

up that way is

20:16

fine. I don't think two pancakes as

20:19

a stack. Is it a little

20:21

weird? Mhmm. That pancakes

20:23

-- Yeah. -- are their own food

20:26

meal. When they are just

20:30

the simplest spread? No.

20:33

Because I don't think to myself ever

20:36

It's breakfast. I'm going to have three

20:38

slices of

20:39

bread. I think that almost

20:41

every morning. Okay. That's

20:43

true. But yeah. You got a toast on them.

20:45

Yeah. But the pancake thing. So

20:48

it is a little weird. Pancakes are weird because,

20:50

like, we also treat them as one thing when they could

20:52

be anything. Right? Like, there's no reason

20:55

to be you can have you can

20:57

have sweet pancakes. You can have savory

20:59

pancakes. Mhmm. You can put meat in your

21:01

pancakes. Mhmm. You know? Now,

21:03

maddy would The

21:06

eggs. He's finished

21:08

up egg shells. Krista egg shells.

21:10

Krista eggwater for Just like maddy. Beyond

21:14

just and just kind of like

21:16

put them in the eggwater just for a minute. Before

21:18

you put them on the frying

21:19

fan, just give them a little soggy. What happens?

21:24

Do you

21:24

think two two might be a stack? don't

21:27

think two is a stack. I don't know. And those, like

21:29

like, they're stacked. No. One is stacked

21:31

on the other. No. I think why not

21:33

why not ask the experts. And in this case,

21:35

that steak and shake. And in this case, they say

21:37

three. Which reminds me that Chase Podcast is

21:39

brought to you by Steak and

21:40

Shake, my first employer. Already at

21:42

the sponsors. Already at the sponsors. Podcast

21:44

is also brought to you by electron pipes.

21:47

Electron pipes -- Yeah.

21:49

-- delivering

21:51

heat and light and entertainment

21:54

to your home. Since

21:56

nineteen something

21:58

or eighteen something if you were Right.

22:00

Yeah.

22:01

Isn't it? And the sort of

22:03

early part of the bell curve. Yeah. Or you happen

22:06

to get hit by lightning? One afternoon? Have your

22:08

house hit by lightning? And then

22:10

you're like, wow. It's warmer. On

22:13

fire. That was both good and bad.

22:16

Also, today's podcast is, of course, brought

22:18

to you by Maddie's eggwater. Mhmm.

22:20

Maddie's eggwater.

22:22

It's it's ready for 362

22:24

No. And this

22:26

podcast is brought to you by Ting the

22:29

Jamaican soda. It's

22:31

as far as I can

22:32

tell, grapefruit flavored, but only

22:34

the good parts. It

22:36

really is. It's just like only the good

22:38

parts of the grid. It's kinda actually surprising to

22:40

me that Ting hasn't taken

22:43

off elsewhere. I think that it might kinda

22:45

require it to be warm. Maybe.

22:47

But there are people used to say that about Mountain

22:49

Dew. When I was a kid, people said that about Mountain

22:52

362, they'd be like, oh Mountain Dew. But this

22:54

thing, it's pretty perfect. It's good.

22:56

I like it a lot. It's bottled by PepsiCo

22:58

according to the bottle. Yeah. I already

23:00

looked into it because you know how Ryan Reynolds bought aviation

23:02

gin because he liked it so

23:03

much. Did you think about buying? I

23:05

was like, maybe I could buy Ting. I

23:10

mean Yeah. I can. One is

23:12

a little more colonialist than the other. There.

23:14

362 point.

23:17

And there's number of problems with this idea. Yeah.

23:19

I don't think it's great idea. I don't know

23:21

that we wanna get in the sugar water business, Hank.

23:24

Yeah. Just

23:26

one more sponsor. Oh, right. Sorry.

23:28

Today's podcast is also brought to you. Bye.

23:31

Vlogbrother's beer. Vlogbrother's

23:34

beer with a frilling new beverage.

23:36

Oh, well, I think you should come. I think we should be like

23:39

Ryan Reynolds and get in. No. It's gotta be

23:41

something what's something classy like

23:43

Ryan Reynolds has? Oh. Yeah.

23:46

What about, like, What about, like, a beer that's

23:48

not around anymore that we have lost to

23:50

time? Oh, there's one they make one

23:52

in Indiana called champagne velvet that's made

23:54

from the first ever beer recipe. Yeah.

23:57

Champagne velvet. Yeah. Like, from

23:59

Mesopotamia? No.

24:01

From, like, nineteen 08I

24:03

guess, the first ever Indian or beer beer.

24:06

And nineteen o eight.

24:08

No. You you wanna try to,

24:10

like, resurrect mesopotamian.

24:13

No. I bet it's not great. 362. Embed

24:15

it's not great. I kinda like that idea, though,

24:17

just 362, like, a Yeah. There's a historical. They

24:20

talk to all those bead people. They can't shut up

24:22

about it. Deed people. Mead. Mead.

24:25

Mead. Yeah.

24:27

Yes. I do love a mead.

24:31

This next question comes from Louise who

24:33

asks, Dear Hank and John, are the one you're qualified

24:35

for? Mhmm. Is it right to

24:36

you, I want It's hard not to be insulted by

24:38

your definition of what I'm

24:40

qualified for. A bunch of science ones

24:43

and then how many pancakes in the

24:44

stack? No. 362 like this one. As

24:46

write 362, I'm watching the Rexen versus Sheffield

24:49

United game on TV. Paul Mullens has

24:51

just scored so Rexen's now up three

24:53

to two with less than four minutes to go.

24:54

Oh, god. Hard break is incoming.

24:57

Well, it ties, not so bad.

25:00

As the BBC keeps insisting on showing

25:02

Ryan Reynolds reactions. IDK,

25:04

I guess, he's objectively handsome or something.

25:07

I occasionally see John standing

25:09

beside him. And

25:11

I just gotta know John. What

25:13

are you doing with your hair? Are

25:15

you actually trying to pull it out? It

25:18

looks like you're trying to shampoo it

25:20

incredibly vigorously. 362,

25:23

way. I hope you enjoyed them match. Puppets

25:25

362 penguins, Louise. I saw

25:27

those one of the inbox when I

25:28

started. And I was like, I need that one.

25:30

That's hilarious. One to come

25:32

through, please. Yeah. I mean, it's

25:34

AII

25:36

do it when I am experiencing amazement.

25:39

Oh, yeah. So every time that

25:41

the the only time the BBC, like or

25:44

when I'm experiencing disappointment,

25:47

Right? And so the only and I was obviously

25:50

reading for Rexam in that game. It's

25:52

great David 362 Goliath story.

25:54

Mhmm. And So

25:57

every time they cut to Ryan Reynolds,

25:59

I was in the background, like, pulling my hair in amazement,

26:01

I could not believe that Rexam was scoring

26:03

against a side that's gonna be in the Premier League

26:06

next year. I was genuinely shocked.

26:08

Uh-huh. And yeah. But

26:10

then I I did see some of the

26:12

the the resulting memes and

26:14

I don't know. I just I I was just

26:16

doing it, like, right before I don't know

26:18

why. Yeah. It's just you know,

26:20

it's nice that John has has such a visible

26:22

tell Yeah. It's it's not an

26:24

affectation. Where is it on the

26:26

sleeve? I do. I'm not a great actor.

26:28

I'm not very good at that card game BS.

26:31

That's right. 362 know, John

26:33

and I One thing you'll know about us is that

26:35

we won't ever get into professional

26:38

gambling.

26:39

We're not like, I think I know how we're

26:41

gonna make it work. I think the reason I

26:43

wouldn't get into professional gambling isn't

26:45

because I wouldn't not like,

26:47

vulnerable to it because I totally am.

26:49

Yeah. I think the reason is that

26:53

I can't handle it. I

26:55

can't. Absolutely not. I I can't

26:57

handle the swings and roundabouts. I

27:00

can barely handle sports when

27:02

there's no gambling involved at all.

27:05

John, can tell you a story? Sure. So

27:08

for about four

27:10

five weeks. Mhmm. I got an eye twitch.

27:12

Yeah. I know. And

27:14

I I thought to myself, I'm

27:17

gonna go on this trip. On this vacation,

27:20

my brother and sister-in-law

27:22

and my wife, and it's

27:24

gonna be relaxing. I'm not gonna

27:26

let myself hope. I'm not gonna let

27:28

myself hope --

27:29

Mhmm. -- that it's gonna fix my eye twitch because that's,

27:31

you know, things are complicated.

27:33

Yeah.

27:34

But I currently can't make my eye twitch.

27:36

Yeah. Well, that's the thing about an eye twitch. Once

27:39

it's gone, you like can't

27:41

make it come back.

27:42

Yeah. But

27:43

then once it's there, you can't make it go

27:45

away. Yeah. Well, I'm really glad.

27:47

And,

27:47

you 362, let's see. I'm sure I'm probably

27:50

back tomorrow, but we should yeah.

27:53

We should lean into this

27:55

experience. I've been telling 362, Hank, And

27:57

I know we got families and jobs

27:59

and everything, man. Like, I get that.

28:01

I love our kids. I but, like,

28:04

We could we could we could make a go

28:06

of it here. Yeah. You know? We're

28:08

somewhere here. We're I I don't

28:10

know. I wanna be right here. I

28:13

I like I like this house.

28:16

This square foot of water. Yeah.

28:18

Yeah. No. I really do. I just,

28:21

like, Yesterday,

28:23

I said to Sarah, I was like, hey, I mean, I love

28:25

Indianapolis. I'm a big civic booster and everything,

28:27

but, like, it's not as good as

28:29

this. I'm

28:33

sure it's got its its its difficulties

28:35

as well. Of course. But like but

28:39

but the weather is better. There's

28:42

so much winter love. There's so

28:44

much

28:44

exactly. We're gonna go back to winter

28:46

you've got left. We've got another month. It's

28:48

true. It's true, man. Oh,

28:52

Lord. Alright,

28:54

John. I got another question

28:56

that you're qualified for. Great. Dear

28:59

Hank and John, I am a waitress at a restaurant

29:01

that is famously known to stand at the table

29:03

and great cheese on all your 362. Sometimes

29:06

these people will go absolutely ham

29:08

and I will have to awkwardly stand above them

29:11

in silence for a solid sixty

29:13

second. Oh, during a copious amount

29:15

of cheese onto all of their food.

29:17

What

29:17

are some things I could talk about to break

29:20

the silence? I need to be as advice as

29:22

greatly greatly

29:23

Oh, unattended. Appreciated. Not

29:26

summer or winter, spring or fall? Autumn.

29:29

Autumn. This 362 our fall, though.

29:31

This is a great question. It's so

29:33

good. But I think the answer is that

29:35

you're doing the right thing -- Yeah. -- which is

29:37

trying to make them as uncomfortable as possible

29:40

with this abuse of your time and

29:42

cheese grater. Because you have to be nice to

29:44

the customer. Yeah. You have to be nice to the customer.

29:46

And that's your job as a server. But

29:49

you don't have to imply that it's

29:51

okay for a full

29:54

minute and a half of cheese grading

29:56

to happen. Yeah. Because the

29:58

cheese grating is like it's

30:00

like a it's like a a

30:03

schtick. You just texted me. No,

30:05

I didn't. Well, yes, you did.

30:07

No, I didn't. You definitely did

30:09

check your own text messages. Oh, I did.

30:13

362 you weren't listening to me

30:15

so intensely. I

30:18

knew you were behind me in a in a

30:20

way that 362 sitting next very

30:22

weird. I hear you, but the only text Okay.

30:25

This gets to something important. Hank

30:27

and I are convinced

30:30

that Mark Zuckerberg is

30:33

way wrong about the metaverse. Yeah.

30:35

All of these metaverse people are so excited

30:37

about something that already happened. That's

30:39

the thing. Like, we think that these metaverse

30:41

people are have the right instinct,

30:44

but they've drawn the wrong conclusion. Yeah.

30:46

We can already enter the metaverse,

30:49

and it takes us about three seconds. However

30:51

long Hank and I were just talking, maybe

30:53

point five. When Hank was like, uh-huh.

30:56

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. He was in the 362. In

30:58

the metaverse. Yeah. He literally wasn't

31:00

here. Uh-huh. was no longer in my physical

31:02

body. And so the question is,

31:06

does Mark Zuckerberg really think

31:08

that we need to put on a pair of goggles

31:11

to experience that when it's already

31:13

happening. Have do these people

31:16

have any exposure to theory of mind? Do they understand

31:19

the that consciousness is not doesn't

31:21

exist. And then doesn't it, like, can

31:23

it could exit from the it could

31:25

exit from the sensorial experience of

31:27

the normal body and -- Yeah. -- leaves it behind.

31:30

Not not like perpetually or

31:32

even always. But, like,

31:34

sometimes sometimes -- Yeah. --

31:36

and I go, a man,

31:38

I'm in the Metiverse all the fucking time.

31:40

My phone tells me every long how

31:42

every day, how long I've been in

31:44

the Metiverse or every week? Right.

31:46

And 362 know, it's

31:48

a very it's a very intense

31:52

experience. Yeah. Like -- Already. when

31:54

you're when you're in TikTok --

31:56

Yeah. It feels like you're

31:59

just, like, bobbing on the ocean.

32:01

Yeah, man. Just swimming like a dolphin.

32:04

There's this Annie Dillard essay

32:07

where she writes about how humans spend

32:09

all their sleeping lives and much of their

32:11

waking ones in this sort of, like, insensate

32:16

nebulousness. Yeah. And

32:19

that's what the metaverse is. And

32:21

I just don't need and maybe

32:23

someday I will. Maybe that's the ten

32:25

year

32:26

bet. It's like people are gonna wanna go all in

32:28

on the metaverse, but, like, Right now can go

32:30

to the metaverse whenever I want for however long

32:32

I want

32:32

with no barrier of entry or exit

32:34

and then just leave it whenever I need to

32:36

except from my cognitive barrier of exit.

32:39

Which

32:39

is very high because I desperately don't

32:41

want to my my mind is like

32:43

that all seems very hard out there. Bone

32:45

leaf, Only Eve. Yeah.

32:47

Even earlier today, I was like --

32:50

Whoa. -- you've been scrolling for way too long.

32:53

Earlier today, I was like I

32:56

I was I was scrolling, and I was thinking about

32:59

how they're these two emails I have to answer today.

33:01

And I was like, oh, That's

33:03

gonna be later. That's gonna and, like,

33:05

I don't know. I I I'm very conflicted

33:08

about it, Hank. Yeah. Because I think

33:10

you're right. Think we enter the metaverse easier

33:12

than ever. I don't think that we need, like, fancy

33:14

tools to enter the metaverse because don't think entering

33:17

the metaverse in a deeper way actually

33:19

is

33:20

deeper. Us.

33:21

Well, I think that there are think that there are benefits

33:23

in certain circumstances for sure. Yeah. And,

33:25

like, to each their own. I just

33:27

don't think that it's going to be broadly it's

33:30

going to be broadly anywhere near as mass

33:33

adopted as just the smartphone. Yeah.

33:36

Or maybe it'll be like so

33:38

here here's an example. Okay. There used

33:41

to be a time before pants. Yes.

33:43

And then we had pants. Right.

33:45

And it may have been that the people who made pants

33:47

-- Mhmm. -- were like, what's next? For

33:50

leg coverings. Mhmm. But it was mostly

33:52

pants. Mhmm. And maybe there were

33:54

pockets.

33:55

Mhmm. And maybe there were cuffs, and maybe there

33:57

were Right. Right. But

33:58

some things that were zenvers with clasts.

34:00

Yeah. But the thing was pants. Right.

34:02

I think that a lot of people think

34:05

that this like, what's after the smartphone,

34:07

but I think the smartphone is pants. Mhmm.

34:10

And I think that, like, the pants will continue to

34:12

get

34:12

better. Mhmm. But I don't think there's a thing

34:14

after pants. I

34:16

I think that they're is

34:18

probably not a thing after pants, except

34:22

that the

34:24

the there's, like, also

34:27

shirts

34:28

So I I Yeah.

34:29

But I I just don't but

34:30

I don't I don't think there's a thing coming after the

34:32

smartphone. I think that what that is

34:34

aimed at There's lots

34:35

of other things. But, yeah, the the idea that

34:38

that the smartphone that, like, the iPod

34:40

happened and then the smartphone happened and then the

34:42

Apple Watch and the earbuds --

34:44

Mhmm. -- the earbuds happened. Yeah.

34:46

And then it's gonna be something else. Right.

34:48

I think that no. Of all of those things, the

34:50

only thing that really happened was the

34:52

phone. Is is very

34:54

small screen filled

34:56

personal devices. Yeah. And the

34:58

eye watch is just another one of those. Yeah. Apple

35:01

watch or whatever it's called. And it's not

35:03

and it's also not that interesting and,

35:05

like, not that widely adopted. It's

35:08

just another watch. Right? It's it is

35:10

itself a watch. Yeah. Which

35:12

is something that we've had. So

35:14

I just yeah. I think that the I think

35:16

that they can't get out of their minds, the idea

35:18

that there is some other thing that's coming

35:21

next. Mhmm. But really, only

35:23

one thing happened. Mhmm. And

35:26

it is very big and very impactful.

35:28

Right. And it's and,

35:30

like, it was a very very good idea and a

35:32

very, you know, powerful combination of

35:34

technologies. But

35:37

we're not gonna have another one of those. That's

35:39

what that's what I think. think the five hundred years from

35:41

now people are gonna be using smartphones. I

35:45

mean, I think Fingers crossed. I was gonna

35:47

say this.

35:51

Time. Unless there's some other good reason. That's all

35:53

have. Long time. Yeah.

35:56

We're almost done. Do you wanna come make a podcast

35:58

with us? Yeah.

36:02

Alright, man. There's no pressure.

36:04

Okay. We're we're we'll wrap up

36:06

here. We'll we'll we'll move to the new news from Mars

36:08

and AFC

36:08

Wimbledon. Yeah.

36:09

Okay.

36:09

Great.

36:10

Okay. It's time

36:12

to transition to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon

36:15

because Sarah just got back now.

36:19

What happened in Wimbledon

36:21

362, John? Well, as

36:23

everybody made fun of me for, I watched

36:25

wimbledon game from the beach

36:28

-- Yeah. on Saturday morning --

36:30

Mhmm. -- and it was we're

36:32

up against the third place team in the league, Carlisle

36:35

362. And oh my god.

36:37

It was the ugliest, most

36:39

disjointed game of

36:41

soccer, the great AFC Wimbledon

36:44

commentator. My Mikey t at

36:46

one point said, don't think anybody's

36:48

gonna be buying the deluxe edition 362

36:50

DVD set of this

36:52

game.

36:54

bit of a mess. It was hideous,

36:56

but we drew nil nil. And

36:58

362 know what, if that's what we do for the rest of the

37:00

season, if we just make good teams look terrible,

37:03

and I have absolutely no

37:05

hope of scoring goals. That's fine.

37:09

Alright. And they're good team. Yeah.

37:11

They were Carlisle United. They're in third place. So

37:13

-- Right. -- I mean, we we're we're

37:15

still, you know, four or five points

37:17

out of the playoffs. So

37:19

we'll see. But we're also well

37:21

clear of delegation.

37:23

great news. Yeah. Well,

37:25

this weekend, Mars 362, NASA

37:27

is going to be partnering with Blue

37:30

Origin on an upcoming

37:32

mission. They're gonna be studying Mars' magnetosphere

37:34

together. It's called escapade

37:37

--

37:37

Oh. -- which every letter is

37:40

capitalized. So do you wanna venture

37:42

what what the first word might be? Elevated?

37:44

Escape? Space?

37:48

No. It's just e s. It's from escape.

37:50

Oh,

37:51

no. E the e s and p and

37:53

a. Mhmm. They're all from

37:55

the skate. Okay. This is my favorite

37:57

kind of NASA

37:59

abbreviated.

38:00

So now you gotta pee. So

38:03

wait. The e the esque

38:05

is all from escape. The c the a Uh-huh.

38:07

-- are all from escape.

38:10

Uh-huh. And then there's PEPAPAVE.

38:15

Escapade. P

38:16

a. So this is p a?

38:19

No. This this all the rest of them are just one word.

38:21

Okay. ESCAP.

38:26

Tadaa, plasma. Wait.

38:29

You said all the rest of them are just one word.

38:31

I thought it had to be a word that began PADE.

38:33

No. No. It's not one

38:35

word. Letter. Sorry. One

38:38

word, escape at a plasma --

38:40

Uh-huh. -- alien -- Acceleration.

38:42

-- dismal dynamics.

38:51

In enjoyment explorers.

38:54

And it will involve sending two spacecrafts

38:56

to orbit

38:57

Mars. I couldn't think of a word

38:59

that started with the Enjoy. They're

39:03

gonna study how solar winds might 362 out

39:05

the planet. Is that in the sphere a long time ago?

39:07

Yeah. I'm worried about that for

39:09

us. Yeah. Yeah. God. I'll pay attention.

39:11

It's gonna help scientists to understand more about

39:13

how Mars lost all of its water. Yeah. The big thing

39:15

to try and figure out and a few companies were considered

39:18

to be involved with the mission in mass applicable

39:20

origin 362 help with the launch spacecraft

39:22

at the end of twenty twenty four on their

39:24

new Glen

39:25

rocket. That's Glen with four ends.

39:29

Is it literally no. That's

39:32

project for all of them, Jeff. I know. I was like,

39:35

man. I didn't know if I didn't know Jeff

39:37

Bezos was a p for a supporter. It'd

39:39

be nice if he made donation here and there.

39:41

I feel like be like just

39:43

getting the digital download bundle is a little

39:46

light for him, honestly. 362

39:50

could do a little more lifting with my friend.

39:52

Yeah. Well, Hank Bezos,

39:54

thank you for the news. From

39:57

Mars, Thank you for potting

39:59

with me. I just saw a rat. I just

40:01

saw something, but I think it might have been a bird.

40:03

Oh, okay. It was up there pretty high. Yeah.

40:06

They live in a palm tree. That's where the rat's comfortable

40:08

with. Okay. Well, cool. Thanks

40:11

for partnering with me. This podcast is edited

40:13

by Joseph 362 Metish.

40:15

It's produced by Rosiana Holts rojas. Our

40:18

head of communications is Brook Shotwell. Our

40:20

head of communications is Brook Shotwell. Our

40:23

editorial assistant is 362 book in Chicago Verde. The

40:25

music you're hearing now, 362 of the podcast is probably

40:27

the great Motorola. And as they say in our

40:29

hometown, don't have a great day to be awesome.