0:03

I'm the cool dad, that's my thing. I

0:09

don't know what I can offer you that

0:11

no one else can! Complete

0:13

and underdependent! I'm

0:17

a man, I'm sensitive, I need to feel

0:19

loved, I need to be desired. Yelling

0:23

is the only part of being a father that

0:25

I enjoy. Welcome

0:28

to Dear Old Dad's, the only parenting podcast

0:30

that still doesn't know whether to open its

0:32

gifts in front of everyone or wait till

0:34

you get home. I'm Tom Curry, I'm joined

0:36

as always by Thomas Smith and

0:39

Eli Bosnick. Hello gentlemen. Well, can

0:41

tell you what we did. Fuck yeah you did.

0:44

I guarantee you the Smiths make the correct

0:46

decision, which is they open their damn presents

0:48

when they get home. No, that

0:50

is the wrong decision. No, this is

0:52

Christmas all over again. You and Yuri

0:54

are fighting. The insane cavalcade of present,

0:56

the human sacrifice, like fucking Amazonians throwing

0:58

a teenage girl into a volcano. People

1:01

want to see their presents open. They

1:03

want a present, they want that. Well

1:05

also Tom wants to know if he

1:07

has to disown another branch of family

1:09

in real time. You don't want to

1:11

go home and do that. I thought

1:14

the presents are like the most exciting part for the kid

1:16

too and like really you wait till you get home, you

1:18

take that and just you make the kid wait. So

1:21

well I can't wait to talk about it. We pulled off

1:23

the perfect Eli's gonna make fun of

1:25

us birthday party for Arlo. Arlo, as

1:28

of today recording is five years old. Big boy.

1:31

Big boy. Arlo. So

1:33

huge. I can't believe it. This man.

1:35

He is the funniest kid in the

1:37

world and he's tiring five and we did the perfect

1:39

birthday party in my opinion that I can't wait to

1:41

get Eli's take on it. I got to hear about

1:43

the present situation though. That was why I

1:46

was gonna be part of it but Lydia brilliantly.

1:48

How many fucking new tools and

1:50

bits and bobs and things

1:52

do you have as a parent because we have

1:55

a bunch of them and one of them is

1:57

like this wagon. There's like bigger wagon that for

1:59

like anything outdoors. But yeah, the I give up wagon.

2:02

The I give up wagon. Wait, is

2:04

this one of those, we had one

2:06

of those folding cloth wagons things

2:08

that was like, yeah. I used it

2:10

once. But this one is like heavy

2:12

duty. This one's like huge. Yeah. It's

2:15

for people who were like, hey, we can't put

2:17

our kids in strollers anymore, but man

2:19

do we not give a fuck. Is

2:21

there a child's wheelbarrow we can hook

2:24

our kids in? Oh

2:27

I do. I

2:30

bought it and used it one time for Halloween

2:32

when the kids were fairly little. It

2:34

was like, and they were pretty big age difference. Did you tow

2:36

it behind the car? Yeah.

2:40

Go squeal it around corners. Kids,

2:43

man, let's get to a better neighborhood. Take

2:46

one turn about 30 miles an hour, the kids go flying.

2:49

Now you're the neighborhood bad guy. But

2:52

Lydia brought that and that accumulated all the

2:55

presents and then it was perfect because it

2:57

was just like, all right, well,

2:59

tow that on out and let's go home. So

3:02

we did the presents at home, which is,

3:04

I think it may be the first time

3:06

we've done that, but it's an awkward thing

3:08

where like certain people have left anyway. And

3:10

then also it was weirdly like cold, which

3:12

was nice. God, I never get the vibe

3:14

from the kids. Yeah.

3:17

Yeah. Arlo's not well

3:19

liked. Just hot staring, just

3:21

daggers right at Arlo the whole time.

3:23

I'm so nervous. Arlo gets

3:26

so much ass that they're just...

3:28

That's what it is. It's a

3:30

sexual jealousy thing. I always

3:32

worry about our new listeners. There's a

3:34

long going joke. Nevermind. We'll

3:36

cut it. You know, the

3:38

only thing worse than being cock blocked by

3:40

Thomas Smith's son, why? It's

3:43

the auto ads. The auto ads. The

3:46

five year old in your life that's getting

3:48

all the poon you're not getting. You can

3:50

get as much sex

3:53

as Thomas's five year old son. I can't cut

3:55

that I guess. I have to play this out.

3:57

It's very weird. I set up the game. Yeah,

4:00

I have to. We

4:02

started a new podcast. Call and respond. It's our

4:04

new show. Welcome to Dear Old Dad. Go

4:08

to Patreon and get... The only

4:10

podcast where a five year old gets more ass than us. Damn

4:12

it. We did it again. Look,

4:15

if you want to give me money for what I

4:17

just said, I think it's a

4:19

crime. But

4:22

if you want to give us

4:24

money for other reasons, you can

4:26

go to patreon.com/dear old dad's. We're

4:28

for as little as a dollar. You get

4:30

a commercial free version of every single episode,

4:32

plus an extended little

4:35

parenting story at the end

4:37

of every episode when Tom

4:39

feels like it. Check it

4:42

out over at patreon.com/dear old

4:45

dad. So yeah,

4:47

our last birthday. It's the same as tax

4:49

day, so I can actually remember it. That's

4:51

nice. Trying

4:54

not to tell that to him. I'm

4:57

glad you had a birthday on a day. I care about

4:59

like tax day, you know, not a day I would have

5:01

to care about because it was yours. Time

5:03

after one of the kids, it might've been

5:05

the second or third one. I'm not sure.

5:07

I got to too many dates. Too

5:10

many. I had all day. Believe me. I had just like

5:12

our love too many days. I had. Yeah. I

5:17

had all the dates. I swear to God, I

5:19

had all the dates. I had the, our wedding

5:21

anniversary, our fucking Lydia's birthday, my birthday, for that

5:23

matter. End of list. You could

5:25

cut this out. You could cut this. This does not have to be

5:27

in the divorce. Now I

5:29

still know all the dates. It just takes me an

5:31

extra second of computing power because I got to be

5:34

like, all right, okay. Yeah, I get

5:36

that. 30 has September and I

5:38

don't know, whatever. I have to go through some like fucking.

5:41

Mnemonic just to get to like, all right, this was this.

5:43

And this was the funniest thing was I was

5:45

all okay. When Remy was born, it

5:47

was 12 fucking. Okay.

5:49

I don't remember much day. I was

5:51

afraid. I was excited. 12, 23, 20, fuck 22,

5:53

12, 22, 22. Uh,

5:59

I Don't know. It was wondering because I

6:01

was like i will tell us that we're

6:03

pretty sure he was born. That's what we

6:05

know we're British or Ariela was born Phoebe

6:07

were you cut this clip for like Dad's

6:09

funeral was young. that really doesn't have to

6:12

fill says it's he's born on twelve Twenty

6:14

Two Twenty two. I will always remember it

6:16

was so easy and then I was like

6:18

i'm such an idiot is it is right

6:20

before Christmas. I'm always gonna remember it. And.

6:23

Then what happened was. When. It

6:25

went down in my mind as right before

6:27

christmas. So. What the fuck is

6:29

is that the Twenty first? That is that

6:31

the Twenty third. Is it the Twenty fourth?

6:33

I don't know why you should have taken

6:35

my suggestion way back and he should have

6:38

seen as a birthday to advertise you a

6:40

better day and ward easy to remember day

6:42

young like a more know he won't know

6:44

until like one days old enough to give

6:46

me so security cards other you know when

6:48

or if rivals like wanted that of armada.

6:51

It's a fun surprise you to be like

6:53

hey. Or to see you know

6:55

that is going on. Supremacy today. we're

6:57

gonna go get your learners permit and

6:59

I'm here to tell you that's not

7:01

your real by system as an owner,

7:03

surreal death and her not. Have

7:06

a friend of mine for you. See

7:08

that podcast are sitting in the corner

7:10

as Rise Assess Assess Assess Assess As

7:13

bad as a real that A Yeah

7:15

I was birthday and I got Italia

7:17

referring seem. But. You know when you're

7:19

just barely barely getting by? and then there's

7:21

one extra thing. Didn't have some, You know?

7:23

and I'm sorry, I have. I have. Ah,

7:26

yes, Some. Celery and I lay on

7:28

the only large as as I know

7:30

that are lazy summer.everything I own Elizabeth

7:32

Air you guys are going through some

7:34

kind of as two knives. Are

7:38

normal sit around like there was as

7:40

if talks to humans they'd be like

7:42

on sounds top slower but times I

7:44

die every one of fire and I'm

7:46

like well I guess I. That

7:49

wasn't on an hour and on where you don't have

7:51

to move the boulder all the way of the hill

7:54

everyday. And Zach loud are the if they just keeps

7:56

right outside. my time since you neighbor

7:58

who's gonna lie to read And

8:00

he's like, oh man, oh, you're getting eaten

8:02

by the birds. I'll

8:06

let the birds finish and then I'll tell you, you

8:08

gotta start right away again. You don't get a little

8:10

break when the birds are done. Oh,

8:13

that's so good. So the birthday, Lydia,

8:15

of course, took to helm and she did an

8:17

amazing job. And here's what I want to talk

8:19

about with the birthday. This isn't just a long,

8:21

Thomas story for nothing. I want to ask you

8:23

guys, did you have the problem or slash do

8:25

you have the problem yet? I don't know, Eli.

8:28

Of everybody in the fucking either the

8:30

school or the peer group, whatever it is,

8:33

everyone's got to throw a bigger and better

8:35

birthday for their little child. Their little, their

8:37

little angel, which I agree with, but it's

8:40

all got, and it gets more and more

8:42

elaborate and there's more and more people are

8:44

hiring, fucking catering. They're doing all this shit

8:46

for some kids for their birthday. Yeah. And

8:49

it's awesome. But then here's the problem. If

8:51

that was just like, oh, we're going to

8:53

this fun event called someone's birthday. That's going

8:55

to be catered and have all this stuff.

8:58

That'd be great. But it's actually my

9:00

son's friend's birthday party at school.

9:02

And so now he thinks that's

9:04

what a fucking birthday party is.

9:09

And there's, you know, like fucking an orchestra

9:11

and there's a ship. Yeah,

9:13

exactly. Like, Hey man, that's like a

9:16

not cool thing to do just as

9:18

a community member. I think is my

9:20

firm stance. Cause it's like, look, here's

9:23

the other thing. It's so pointless because

9:26

they're four or five or six, you know, our little five,

9:28

but like it's been the last, the reason I say that

9:30

is not cause I don't remember his age because it's been

9:32

the last like two, three years of this, because ever since

9:34

being at that school, there have been

9:37

a select group of parents who bless

9:39

their hearts, have to put on

9:41

the most elaborate fucking song and

9:43

dance million dollar birthdays. There's one,

9:45

I swear to God, this dad

9:47

made his house into a water

9:49

park. He had like, yeah, three

9:52

giant. It's not just bounce houses now.

9:54

It's they have water bounce houses. So

9:56

they have bounce houses that are like Water

9:58

incorporated into them. Yeah. The like them

10:00

splashy things is really good. Line A To make

10:02

friends with this kid. I married his name and

10:04

as bad as a success of this is fucking

10:07

amazing. I'm going to turn forty seven and I

10:09

know what I'm doing. The Us is examiner little

10:11

bird they have like as one of the kid

10:13

just like nine lives as one of the unknown.

10:15

when we bought ride a bike. As

10:21

part of a little love right other was

10:23

there that are not not. As

10:26

and and I was in although he also

10:29

had he had literally. Just. Hearing

10:31

I guess you'd thought he had like at

10:33

a food trucks do. The. Food and

10:35

it was like this real Ast food truck.

10:37

The made tacos and stuff. Like

10:41

this ever been with a party at which the

10:43

dad his kid in front of me I think

10:45

I thought about that night and gets his argument

10:47

all the other stuff I would have been so

10:50

distracted by the time when ago or know like

10:52

I care a lot about kid or the taco

10:54

truck in a bounce house full of water whenever

10:56

the flapper one I've grown have you had to

10:59

be real those the exhibit that's assets are not

11:01

as up as not real barrier unless you can

11:03

do poem and they have the double. Sizes

11:05

were attacked us are in. The

11:07

service has been around. says

11:11

oh though. Any was so

11:14

good that it was even. I think they

11:16

might have had sake me tacos are they

11:18

had some option for us which was like

11:20

alright this is to get this. I was

11:22

or it won't I was already one. I'm

11:24

already moving into your neighborhood but we are

11:26

not doing that. Lydia has gone above and

11:28

beyond a few times and done big stuff

11:30

and all it is it. Look, I'm I'm

11:33

certainly down to especially in normal years. Put.

11:35

On a bit of a birthday party. But

11:38

Lilian. I that a bit of a conflict

11:40

because she takes on a bit too much with

11:42

it to the point where it's stuff that like

11:44

honestly the kids dying in a notice you really

11:46

get em in detail. she wants to do stuff

11:48

and she stresses the fuck out. And

11:50

I'm lucky this year is Lydia on I

11:53

did as absolutely like been on her because

11:55

of what's going on with me. But.

11:57

in previous years i do and i was gonna do have some

11:59

going on Yeah, just my back. Back,

12:02

bro. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, that'll do

12:04

it. And so, in the past, I've definitely

12:06

taken on my set of jobs, but

12:09

it'll always, with Lydia, there's always another thing.

12:12

She wants to keep up with the other parents. Don't

12:14

blame her at all. And she wants to make it

12:16

special. And they have been very special. She pulled off

12:18

a number of really cool ones. But I

12:21

think this year, I finally...

12:24

Defeated her. Yeah. I

12:26

finally got to Lydia and I finally got her to give up on

12:28

her kid. No,

12:30

just choose her own mental health for

12:33

once and not try to take on...

12:35

We're not going to compete with that. Sorry. I'm

12:38

not going to... Thomas, is her mental health going to

12:40

take care of her in her old age? I don't

12:42

think so. And

12:45

now neither is Arlo because she's talking flat.

12:48

Oh, what's that, Mom? You

12:51

need a place to live? Why don't you go

12:53

to this park that I had my birthday in

12:55

and get out of some acorns like me

12:57

and my friends did on my big day?

13:00

Oh my God, I can't wait to

13:02

get to the punchline of that. Thomas,

13:05

here's the thing. I'm right here with

13:07

you because kids are super fucking easy

13:09

to make happy. It's really

13:11

fucking easy to make a five-year-old kid happy.

13:13

And the kids are not comparative

13:15

yet at that age. They are not

13:17

at five. They're not like, I

13:20

don't know, man, Sally had a fucking bounce thing with

13:22

a fucking hoopla racket or whatever. They are not like

13:24

that. I will amend that to say they are a

13:26

little bit, but it doesn't linger. In

13:28

the moment, they make some observations. They're foolable.

13:31

They're comparative, but they could be like, well,

13:33

Sally had a pony. And you'd be like,

13:35

yeah, but we have red paper streamers.

13:37

And they're like, oh, fuck, you're right. Sally

13:40

didn't have red paper streamers. Seriously, though, you

13:42

could be like, yeah, but we had a

13:44

fucking cake of your very favorite flavor that

13:46

you got to pick. And they'll be like,

13:48

fuck, yeah, my own cake. It's

13:51

so easy. All that shit is

13:53

for the other grownups, man. And here's the thing. I think

13:55

it's for the other grownups. And we could talk about the

13:57

keeping up with the Joneses part of it, which I think

13:59

is important because you do have to win that

14:01

contest because it is about who loves their kid

14:03

the most. I think it's also this. It's

14:06

also you get like four, maybe

14:09

six years where you

14:11

make their party and

14:13

then a lame ass

14:15

kid makes their party. And I

14:17

don't know if you've ever had

14:19

a seven year old tell you

14:21

what they want for their birthday

14:23

but it's lame. You're like, I

14:25

want Susie and squeaky and skinny and

14:28

blaba to come over and we're all

14:30

going to have macaroni and cheese and

14:32

then we're all going to wear a different

14:34

hat. And you're like, that fucking sucks. I

14:36

want to hire a class. Joe

14:38

Biden should be there. But

14:41

dude, that's exactly what I was saying though. It's like

14:43

you, when you ask them what they want, they're not

14:45

like, yeah, in my mind, I want the fucking pony

14:48

with wings on it. Whatever the last party they had

14:50

is almost every time you're like, but you just did

14:52

that. If

14:54

someone else is, they'll be like, we're going to Chuck E.

14:56

Cheese. Is it because we just went to Chuck E. Cheese

14:58

for what's her name's thing? Yes. Right. So

15:01

easy. I'm so sorry to interrupt the record

15:03

guys. Thomas has just sent us a picture of

15:05

this cake and I actually need to call child

15:08

protective services. I was wondering how

15:10

much you always going to make fun of me for my freaking

15:12

cake. I had that for

15:14

later. Works very hard on that. I'll have

15:16

you. I just, I want everyone to hate. I'm

15:19

going to dial nine and

15:21

one and then later

15:23

in the podcast, I'll tell you when to

15:25

hit 10

15:30

unless I'm about to hear a

15:32

heartwarming tale of Arlo requesting the

15:34

Shrek takers. Shit. I'm

15:39

calling the police. Eli, I

15:41

think maybe, I think maybe they were

15:43

nice enough to let Arlo decorate his

15:45

own cake. He clearly requested a cake

15:47

in the style of the goosebumps. Oh,

15:51

I think I kind of pulled

15:53

it off before doing it. Absolutely.

15:55

On my own goddamn imagination with

15:57

no time or sanity. Add

16:01

up you know I have a. Summary

16:05

of Funded Just. Started

16:07

earlier as I hadn't read in for

16:09

this is the take you up The

16:11

understood that not knowing that one needs

16:13

with will be running a supreme introduced

16:15

in a minute and I see I

16:17

made the mistake of Sunny before introducing

16:19

and so that's on the device. The

16:21

Jupiter My blood spattered kids are. Reading

16:26

all get through it when with. Sadness

16:29

that. So

16:32

I was doing that yet. But it's foolish

16:35

me. I shouldn't have done that. I just

16:37

you know, I sent it before contacts. So.

16:39

Where the fuck was I? yeah no the

16:41

big parties up but know we did a

16:44

very sensible thing which was a party at

16:46

the park with some decorations. We ask Arlo

16:48

what he wants he wants a spoof? your

16:50

is Darla is the funniest answers. Actually

16:52

cb to do because one year she

16:54

requested a flower spook party. Really

16:57

don't know what movie are they come up

16:59

with of the most delightful little things. It's

17:01

usually some combination of like something this on

17:03

a cartoon and and something. And. So.

17:06

That. Year again was a year that

17:08

Lydia went all out and there's flowers.

17:10

Nurse Spook in, there is whatever on

17:12

there is some hours. I found a

17:15

way that's like it's like they give

17:17

you a fuckin Oh it's like your

17:19

chat Cp and they give you a

17:21

prompts and then yes minimum of like

17:23

what is a fucking flower spook party.

17:25

Okay but I was so cute. Arlo

17:27

wanted something spooky used in and goosebumps

17:29

lately and so you want to spooky

17:31

goosebumps party and he's also Arlo still

17:33

into like scary Stays is really. That.

17:36

Sticking. I guess he's not scared of anything

17:38

these he likes. Bad guys can interesting apply

17:40

behavioral pillars Cool. Especially after this

17:43

cake, apparently. never be the

17:45

last april out loud or on at

17:47

a yeah so it was up it

17:49

was a perfectly respectable and it had

17:51

we invited his you know his whole

17:53

class basically and plenty of them came

17:55

out some number amount of in almost

17:57

all my nose as the perfect number

18:00

people. People were there. Yeah, no, no, it was a

18:02

perfect party. Eli, you can roast me all you want.

18:04

It was a perfect party. It

18:06

was a fucking hour and a half maximum.

18:09

An hour and a half perfect. Everybody

18:11

comes to the park. It's chill. There's a

18:13

playground at the park. Kids do not need

18:15

anything more than a fucking playground. That's all

18:17

they need. And there's a playground

18:19

at the park. And Lydia did do some one

18:22

arts and crafts thing, which was the perfect amount

18:24

because in times past there've been too many things

18:26

that the kids didn't do, you know, kind of

18:28

thing. So Lydia put together one delightful arts and

18:30

crafts thing. And that meant the kids could take

18:33

home their arts and crafts thing that they made.

18:35

And Lydia made fantastic goodie bags for all

18:38

the kids. I will say the goodie bag

18:40

is a necessity though. We've gotten to the

18:42

point in society, if you're someone with small

18:44

children, at least in my region, that

18:46

the goodie bag, that's one thing. You gotta do a goodie bag. You

18:48

gotta do a goodie bag. You have to do. Can I give you

18:50

a pro tip on the goodie bag? Before everyone

18:53

leaves, you gather up. You're like, Hey, everybody, just

18:55

want to explain these goodie bags. We've put a

18:57

magic potion. In each one and each one has

18:59

a five hour energy in it. And

19:02

then you just watch all of the

19:04

parents fucking hate you. But

19:07

for the timing thing, I want to, I want to

19:09

jump in. Like, I've always liked, you know, like go

19:12

to Chuck E. Cheese or go rent out like the

19:14

bounce house thing that's like in the indoor. They've got

19:16

a bunch of those out here because

19:18

the party is like the timeline is

19:20

defined. I would

19:22

be terrified to have it in a park.

19:24

Cause like the park doesn't close until dusk.

19:27

You could get stuck there forever. Like you

19:29

have to like release badgers or some shit.

19:32

Fortunately, you're totally right, Tom, but Lydia

19:34

again is a genius. And you reserve the part

19:36

of the park for two hours. We

19:40

only have this spot for two hours. Perfect.

19:43

Everybody leave, get out of the play. They're

19:45

closing the playground now. They're releasing wolves at

19:47

four o'clock. The wolves come out. If you

19:49

haven't been to a Chuck E. Cheese one,

19:51

they reuse the pizza slices, but that's fine.

19:53

But also they run a tight chip at

19:55

Chuck E. Cheese. Like that, you go to

19:57

Chuck E. Cheese because they will spot people.

20:00

Yeah, yeah, they'll bounce your child through

20:02

the window like the fucking opening scene

20:04

of Roadhouse Chuckie cheese for

20:06

little kids is fucking outstanding though. It's kid

20:08

Vegas. Yeah, they walk in and it is

20:10

kid Vegas I think they pump oxygen in

20:12

they there's no windows anywhere just like you're

20:14

fucking over. There's no clocks No windows another

20:17

kid with an oxygen tank is just Kids

20:22

slack jaws staring into the middle distance playing

20:24

ski ball He's been there since fucking they

20:27

opened up six weeks ago. A lot of those

20:29

kids are undercover cops One

20:32

of the kids friends had a Chuckie cheese party I have

20:34

never been to Chuckie cheese and I I don't remember when

20:37

the fuck this was I might be gone or something But

20:39

Lydia did it and so the kids come back and they're

20:41

like we went to this place Data

20:44

this play they were trying to tell me like they

20:46

had seen where the Holy Grail was right? Yeah, exactly

20:48

Like where all the gold is and the fucking whatever

20:50

that myth is as well They're like you don't understand

20:52

this Paul my god this place. There was

20:55

pizza. There was games and I'm like, that's awesome

20:57

I know what a Chuckie cheese is and then

20:59

I told him I've never been to a Chuckie

21:01

cheese They're like why the fuck are you talking

21:03

about? I've never been to a Chuckie cheese We're

21:06

about a showbiz pizza. What about Thomas's childhood? I

21:08

feel crazy What about Thomas's

21:10

childhood makes you think that

21:12

a Chuckie cheese came into

21:14

the narrative? I Used

21:18

to I couldn't tell you where the nearest Chuckie

21:20

cheese was to us. Yeah, that's right. There was

21:22

probably not anyone They didn't have a Chuck. They

21:25

had like Charles E. Fromage

21:29

Under the mall and someone got messed to

21:31

death there. I don't think Chuckie cheese. He

21:33

started in Argentina being an old No,

21:38

there we had no it was a country we had nothing

21:40

the most fun thing I got to do and again not

21:43

cuz it was my Party obviously was I

21:45

think I got to go ice skating once and

21:47

that was like an hour drive You know like

21:49

to go to the nearest fucking place that had

21:51

things how far were you from like a hospital?

21:53

Like I mean how far was angel old? 15

21:57

minutes from the shitty one 30 minutes from one

22:00

if you want to survive. Right. Not even joking.

22:02

But to be fair, it was Angel's camp, so

22:04

you did not want to survive. No, you did

22:06

not. Take me to the bad one. That bad

22:08

one is what we call a hospitality. Not

22:11

even joking. The

22:13

15 minute one was the one we took our dad

22:15

to the first time that something, I say we actually,

22:18

it was, I was in college, so my mom and

22:20

my sister did. And they, you

22:22

know, they nearly killed him. And then we took him to,

22:24

which is good, but we didn't know. We wanted him to

22:26

live at the time. So then we took him to the

22:28

one... We didn't know about that. To the one that was

22:30

a half hour away that was like a real hospital. And

22:32

they were like, oh no, they

22:34

completely misdiagnosed what this was. The

22:37

other hospital literally sent him home being like, well,

22:40

he probably just has seizures now. So

22:42

just, you know, keep an eye out. Sounds

22:45

like he's fucking hell. What? Sounds

22:47

like this one's busted. I had to keep an eye out.

22:49

No, this is a totally different story, but legitimately

22:51

they're like, guess he has seizures now.

22:54

And then, you know, we took him home and he

22:57

was, he was like more or less all right. And

22:59

then he had had a stroke, of course, at this

23:01

time, this was 2007 or whatever. And

23:03

we took him home and then at some

23:05

point we awoke to him having nonstop seizures

23:08

and we're like, this is not what they said was

23:10

going to happen. And

23:12

then the other hospital, the real one, they

23:14

were like, yeah, he's, he's got

23:16

diabetic fucking something opposite. Like

23:18

it's where like you're, you've neglected your diabetes

23:21

so much, you're dying kind of saying. And

23:24

so like that was what it was. So that's

23:26

the answer to your question about hospitals. Sorry, a little

23:28

tangent and the Chuck E.

23:30

Cheese. There was no Chuck E. Cheese. I

23:32

never had heard of a Chuck E. Cheese

23:34

until think about the joy that needs to

23:36

go into Chuck E. Cheese. And then think

23:38

about angels camp, California. It's just going to

23:40

be an abandoned building. Who's

23:43

going to work there? I don't even know

23:45

why I brought it up actually. Now I

23:47

feel stupid. That's, I feel stupid. I'll tell

23:49

you, we had a lot of birthday parties

23:51

at the pizza place. It was a pizza

23:53

place that was actually really good. And

23:56

it had, you know, a couple of arcade games

23:58

and that was like my. Keiji shows like

24:00

Oh My God. We got a few. Arcade

24:03

games here. He. Gets want to hear a fucking

24:05

and same thing about my childhood pizza place and

24:07

this is look. I. Know sometimes all the

24:09

bars rolls out. a Tibetan people say you

24:11

like you're just telling stories. I swear to

24:13

God this is true. And if anyone is

24:15

from Binghamton, New York and around my age

24:17

who could verify that this is true of

24:20

Mario Pizza, I would really appreciate it because

24:22

I'm living my truth in a being vulnerable.

24:25

Athletes place in my hotel. Com Arias pizza

24:27

is delicious was great. The. Guy who

24:29

dress up as Mario. You know Mario

24:31

from the cartoons and that was what he

24:34

would do. for parties get party there. he

24:36

would come out dressed as Mario. This.

24:39

Mario suit. he must have made it

24:41

or something but it had a big

24:43

like pillow for the belly because I

24:45

guess that Mario was fat. And.

24:47

At some point I don't remember

24:49

when you know he wasn't At

24:52

some point I don't remember when

24:54

someone was like hey, can we

24:56

punch Mario and the stuff slide

24:58

and the guy was like absolutely

25:00

I'm word of my pillow What?

25:02

I'm covered in shit. So crazy

25:04

though. Some. H like seven to

25:07

ten. The. Activities It and.

25:11

I'm at Morehouse themselves. As it was

25:13

parties, there was soda, there was cage,

25:15

and then everyone lined up to play

25:18

smart up and put ourselves out of

25:20

this. Is

25:23

Alyssa when we will? Are they still open

25:25

a rough couple years though? I don't know,

25:27

know it is another. Maybe you can get

25:29

a little rougher with Mario. As

25:34

a. Digital

25:36

or we may and mario. In the

25:38

know what matters, Is

25:43

a tragic mio to the car was assistant.

25:46

Us admired Fraser girl as far as would you

25:49

lot of stress lack for and you saw him.

25:51

Sam if you're gonna have a nice birthday he

25:53

was dumped go to set up behind him in

25:55

the corner and as that's. about

25:59

it You got the default to me! No.

26:04

That's weirdly believable though. I don't know if you've

26:06

had this experience as a parent though. When

26:08

you do something kind of random like that and

26:11

then your kids, again, they're blank

26:13

slates. They're like, oh, can we just do

26:15

this all the time forever? And you're like,

26:17

no, that was random weird thing we did

26:20

one time. Nope, let's punch Mario on the

26:22

stomach every single birthday party. Every single time.

26:25

So yeah, it was fantastic. It was the best birthday party.

26:27

Lydia was amazing. It was the perfect length of time. I

26:31

wasn't going to home make a cake, but then

26:33

I ended up like just being like, well, I am good.

26:35

Because here's the thing. First year

26:37

that I can make Arlo a cake using

26:39

eggs. Because in the past I've

26:41

had to make him egg substitute cakes and those

26:43

are difficult. I've did it, but they're, you know, they don't, they're not

26:45

eggs. They're really good for baking.

26:48

They're really, really hard to place. And

26:51

so I made him a cake and I decorated it so

26:53

beautifully. And no, I'm going to send you the picture and

26:55

you're just going to be amazed. I'm going to send it

26:57

here. Right now. Let me just,

26:59

Oh, Eli, faint surprise. Faint surprise. I'm going

27:02

to send you. Oh, look, why this? Well,

27:04

now that I know that this is a

27:07

goosebumps cake, how delightful. It's got black screen

27:09

cropped thing. Yes. And

27:11

it's all the, oh, the font is drippy

27:13

and scary. Just like goosebumps. Ooh. I'm

27:16

glad I know the context of this. And I

27:18

don't think that it's some kind of death threat

27:20

you wrote to your son. Conventional cake.

27:27

I would worry for his health and

27:29

safety. Oh, but here's the thing. As

27:34

much as this was, in my opinion,

27:36

the definitional perfect birthday party, mainly again,

27:38

it was short. That was the main thing.

27:41

It's great. That's the number one. It was short.

27:44

I love how that's, that's the number one for parents. Like,

27:46

when will this be over? I can't wait to see the

27:48

joy in their eyes. And it just, I just wanted to

27:50

be over. Well, kids need it to be too. They

27:53

get tired, but they don't want to admit they're tired or

27:55

they don't understand being tired. So they

27:57

get really shitty. And you're like, hey, you need

27:59

to know. Now where hijab the

28:01

hurt anyone uses? I think maybe you

28:03

need a new some. Sort

28:07

of one of the same A or

28:09

I know what I have played. demon

28:11

like comforting that. But apparently and

28:13

I only just learned this recently when

28:15

Lydia I was Carlos my son yes

28:18

suppose not finishing up the icing on

28:20

the shit take apparently that he lie

28:22

hates it's an upscale I was supposedly

28:24

I was so I do it pumps

28:27

the building and I was not sold

28:29

it will you have club Nasa Esa

28:31

Lydia sucked Arlo to the park and

28:33

Arlo went to the park and she's

28:36

like a it's the oh here's your

28:38

repaired or says. There's. No birthday

28:40

party there. That

28:44

no, no, it's it's your birthday

28:46

is like, where's the birthday Her

28:48

Surface: That's because Arlo is again

28:50

a little little neuro spice he

28:52

often has an expectation of like.

28:55

This is precisely what a birthday party looks

28:58

like. Time rights. I don't know what that

29:00

thing is, but there was something missing. There

29:02

must have been some. Typical. Declaration

29:04

that he's associated Or big balloons or

29:06

some shit. I don't know. Or.

29:08

Have a Mario you can punch in the

29:11

stomach or and delightfully, he's totally unable to

29:13

communicate. That's right, which is amazing. That's the

29:15

fun part. He can only tell you what

29:17

he doesn't see. Yeah, he's able to be

29:20

perfectly insulting and most nonchalant ways. the best.

29:22

It's so necessary. As good as the other

29:24

day, a daycare where he just told one

29:26

of the workers. like your old. Like

29:31

that that somebody. But yeah, no, apparently

29:33

he didn't There's something missing, but it

29:35

wasn't a tragedy. he's these good to.

29:37

A little video was like. I know here's

29:39

here's your friends is whatever And it was. So if

29:41

I had a great time he everything he wanted. He

29:43

had the presence we learned perfectly. Into the Wagon to

29:45

the Moon didn't open on their best decisions I ever

29:47

made. And not it was all perfect

29:49

and open. I did want to add one little

29:51

detail which is so funny to studies his actual

29:54

birthday we like to do like in own additional

29:56

dinner and. Sometimes. Additional little

29:58

we are actually served given them. The

30:00

rest of the presence of Lydia has asked

30:02

him what he wants of course for his

30:04

dinner. And he keeps saying. Is

30:07

she's tried several times to get an answer that

30:09

makes sense. And. He just keep saying

30:11

I want to grown up plate. And.

30:13

Like what? What's yeah, she's like you wanna

30:15

give up in Hungary for a long time

30:18

Down the way he noted say i agree

30:20

that been under feeding this kid phrases like

30:22

for my birthday can I have normal portions?

30:24

Can eat enough food? I just want a

30:26

full belly for my. Least they're going

30:28

to have some more for my bird. I think

30:31

that to be it but he says that.i do

30:33

it. Yeah out of the shiites a lot a

30:35

lot. As I said something nonsense which I am

30:37

wait twenty four hours see like an eight ball

30:39

the and always we shake him looked at him

30:41

right away and so she asked him this morning

30:44

he said grown up plate and like and he

30:46

said he's only wanted him to have a goof

30:48

up. Every I. Might

30:52

do it I don't us like we might up

30:54

to eat with the kids plates and have your

30:57

mother fact that our class i've had it has

30:59

like Clc but what are you want like what

31:01

food do you want and he basically said cantaloupe.

31:03

Orange. Juice Pepperoni pizza,

31:06

broccoli and carrots. As

31:08

you are unlike our store manager assets great what

31:10

the hell, Where did that come from Iowa

31:12

Where he got cantaloupe are the at school he

31:14

never have that but like. They. Just

31:17

for me specific ideas and so that's that's what

31:19

we'll be having for dinner. everybody probably from a

31:21

kid plate I'll be eating. Some. Pizza

31:23

and varies fruits and broccoli or something.

31:25

whatever he says by. So I got

31:27

a circle back to the bread with

31:29

knives. separate presence question. When. The

31:32

kids get like a giant massive presence and

31:34

they can't possibly remember like obviously like they

31:36

remember all the ones that excite the mostly

31:38

get those me let him play with. But.

31:41

Like. You. Guys ever take the

31:43

presence that they're just not that excited about and

31:45

don't open? I'm in Scrum away and we give

31:47

them the other kids now birthdays, That's.

31:50

A great idea but no yeah that that

31:52

month we have had it's in the basement

31:54

like just or we think of is like

31:56

emergency presents for when you're like shit. We

31:58

got invited something we forgot it's. Tomorrow

32:00

at three. We're. Not going to

32:02

time ago said it's got on the basis

32:04

you to gotten the shit the kids didn't

32:06

want pile they take it out it's are

32:08

rigged really nice. Hand made the effort at

32:10

the one that has I shuddered. acceptance I

32:12

haven't had a a it already like the

32:14

kids get like twenty five fucking presence and

32:16

there's as excited about like the top five

32:18

or six of of and you know which

32:20

ones are not super jazzed about Sousa's like

32:22

Art will assist in a go in the.

32:25

Maybe. Some other kids are some think

32:27

this is fantastic and then they're about

32:29

a of yeah no I wouldn't be a

32:31

be a full time thing if you

32:33

like announced at the party which ones he

32:36

was real are at the father I

32:38

have decided. That

32:40

that of my new blog call dibs

32:42

will hold you from the upturn. I'm.

32:45

Added some. Of

32:48

the on the gonna do about this one

32:50

super I know you've all been looking at

32:52

it the whole party almond have been twenty

32:54

four of the thirty president said okay you

32:56

know that would be the party everybody would

32:59

want a better valuable your membership or party

33:01

or a on are dumber and were undecided

33:03

voters and that of the and use Romario

33:05

into the woods everybody's just great for just

33:07

that matter as existence the same know what

33:10

is seldom he like I got invited to

33:12

a bring Things to Throw into a wood

33:14

chipper pardon yeah. That would be the greatest

33:16

party you can actually. now that's what. That's what,

33:18

am I? That's now He says road time I

33:21

on hum doesn't tell anyone when his birthday as

33:23

he just casually mentioned that three days later isn't

33:25

that sad. His sword story bought the book supplies.

33:27

If we ever get a heads up we should

33:29

go to Illinois Rent of Wood Chipper for a

33:32

one hundred dollars and does does your through his

33:34

efforts. Are just like tiger there are.

33:36

I was doing a razor and I'm shivering. unsociable.

33:38

One of the kids he doesn't like. A

33:43

success. Or so great. So.

33:45

Have you guys had that experience of the keeping

33:47

up with the joneses? Because it's it's. Really?

33:50

Frustrating to it the it like. Jokes

33:52

aside, it is frustrating when you wanna go

33:54

do some for your kid and god forbid

33:56

if you you know we're like music in

33:58

your parents didn't have any. The money

34:00

or/were super cheap. Do. You

34:02

have any pro social responsibility to not

34:04

throw your kid the greatest birthday party

34:06

of all. Fucking Great Gatsby birthday parties

34:09

every time now. Do it. Do it

34:11

All! So I've had both experiences now

34:13

that Max in public school we were

34:15

in private school which meant that we

34:17

were selected group with forms of community

34:19

and so we went to the nice

34:21

birthdays and we knew everybody and everybody

34:23

got invited and now we go to

34:25

a baby jail where I am not

34:27

a as I contact with the other

34:29

parents too long outside of the school.

34:31

They actually shoot you. They should you

34:33

from sniper towers up in schools and

34:35

I service they offer so there's no

34:38

community. There's no birthday parties this no

34:40

birthdays I think is just a sad

34:42

crossing guard dressed as a snowman on

34:44

December to meet servant. Who.

34:47

Says Abby Winter Important but the. Us

34:50

as his grave face Sidley lower themselves

34:53

into the graves. They spend all your

34:55

digging what even is Disclose it. Wasn't.

34:58

So bad it's to publish as

35:00

just a public school with Jay

35:02

I it's public school, there's no

35:04

anything here's the thing public school.

35:07

Exactly what you can get when the

35:09

every one sip since together all the

35:12

evil, right? That's the thing is, everyone's

35:14

like let's all do this together And

35:16

and neck who's like this are taken

35:19

over the world in you're like oh

35:21

shit when we sit together. We also

35:23

met net God damn it. So Nick

35:26

is also fair. So we we have

35:28

never been to a birthday party at

35:30

my son's new school. We've gotten invited

35:33

to one. It's Hidden May the invitation

35:35

has been fluttering on our fortunes table.

35:37

For the last seven months rights the

35:40

one invitation max his birthday is next

35:42

month, I assume we're going. To

35:44

invite all these fucking strangers. somewhere

35:47

i've never met another parrot a max

35:49

his class not one fucking person we

35:51

drop or his over jail to gather

35:53

that we ought to stand in the

35:55

jail line do not move out of

35:57

jail line The

36:00

door's open, you may relinquish your child to

36:02

child jail. Do not make heart eye contact

36:04

with the child during child jail. Did you

36:06

go to public school, Eli? I went to

36:08

public school, yeah, and it fucking sucked. I

36:10

sure did. I didn't hate public school at

36:12

all. Do you know what I liked about

36:14

public school? And it's really, I remember because

36:16

my parents would talk about it all the

36:18

time, I liked hot lunches. People

36:20

would be like, what's your favorite part? And I'd

36:22

be like, the lunch, it was when they gave

36:25

me a snack. That was the enjoyable part of

36:27

my education. What did your mate

36:29

say too? Yeah. Right, exactly.

36:32

Hot meal and a flat, I bet if they'd given me a cot,

36:34

I would've been excited about that too. Hot

36:37

meals were my favorite part of school

36:39

until high school when I was allowed

36:41

into the drama club. Until

36:43

high school, when you asked me

36:46

what was your favorite part of

36:48

learning and growing from ages three

36:51

to fucking 14, I'd

36:53

have been like, sometimes they let us

36:56

eat. Yeah. Sorry,

36:58

that was an alternative. What do you expect though,

37:00

out of school? I don't know, is it that

37:02

much different at the private school? Yeah.

37:05

Why? I don't understand what's different. Because

37:07

it's a community. It's a chosen community. Is it better

37:09

for you as the parent? Way better

37:11

for me as the parent. It's not as good for

37:13

him as a kid. That's why. Right. They

37:15

weren't making him learn anything. They were like, hey,

37:18

he seems a little bothered when we keep trying to make

37:20

him learn stuff. So we put him in the corner over

37:22

there. Because I was going to say, like, Finn went to

37:24

the Montessori school, and I will say, great

37:26

sense of community. But he

37:28

got out of like sixth or seventh or eighth grade, whenever

37:31

we got him out of there, I don't remember anymore. But

37:33

like when he left Montessori, I can't even

37:35

do an enormous amount of catch up work to

37:37

catch up to the other kid for like opposite.

37:39

This is literally opposite of what I would have

37:41

thought. For years. Yeah, you would think private schools

37:43

are like amazing at teaching. But in the ones

37:45

I have worked at and the ones that I

37:47

have been to, and I did go to a

37:50

private school, right? I went to a private

37:52

school when I was a little kid, and then my dad went out of

37:54

business and he was like, oh, it's public school. But

37:57

like, I experienced that. Yeah, private schools

37:59

are large. at least at the age

38:01

that I was, and I don't know, maybe private

38:03

schools are amazing at older ages, I'm not insulting

38:05

any private schools out there. For me, it was

38:07

that they don't make you do stuff that the

38:10

regular schools make you do. Because

38:12

I remember the one I went to, and I don't

38:14

know if it was Modricor or whatever, but it was

38:16

called the Susquehanna School, ooh, like

38:18

the river. And I would remember,

38:21

I'd be like, oh, we play this game, and then

38:23

we look for leaves, and they were like, can you

38:25

read? And I was like, who cares? We play this

38:27

game, we read. And

38:31

then I got to normal school, and

38:33

they controlled your life with bells, with

38:35

loud alarms. You know,

38:37

the thing we do to signify there's a

38:39

fire, that's what we do to children, for

38:41

their whole education, for 18 years, we're

38:44

like, bam, bam, bam, onto

38:46

the next punishment child. Why,

38:49

because you

38:51

just can't see clocks,

38:53

what the fuck, possible

38:55

reason, besides living in

38:57

a post-bocalyptic hellscape, and

39:00

you're, hold on, do you not have the experience

39:02

of, well, okay, you have one kid, but if

39:05

I want to get my kid's attention, Tom backed me up

39:07

on this. If I want to

39:09

get my kid's attention, here's how it goes, hey Phoebe, Phoebe,

39:13

Phoebe, Phoebe! And

39:17

then she'll go, what? Why

39:20

didn't you answer the first, I

39:23

start, I've said this before, the first 18 times

39:26

I'm the nicest dad that there's ever been. I

39:29

have come a long way as a human, I can

39:31

give you the nicest whatever, like Phoebe

39:34

trying to get your attention for six

39:36

times. Hey Phoebe, hey Phoebester, hey

39:39

Phoeber, Phoebe, Phoebe, hey Phoebe, Phoebester,

39:42

Phoebe. And then after 40 times

39:44

I lose my mind, I'm like, I can't, I'm

39:46

saying your name, by the

39:48

way, she's 11 inches from me, this

39:50

is not like she's in the outside,

39:52

she's down the hall, no, she's five

39:54

inches from my face, but she's watching

39:56

a screen, and that's how it goes.

39:59

Right, and they. gain consciousness right

40:01

as you've gone insane. Yeah. So

40:04

you instantly reset. You have to be

40:06

like, baby! And she's like, what? And

40:08

you're like, oh, wait, one second. I

40:10

mean, I was on an

40:13

island with Wilson for my own vacation. Now

40:16

I've got to come back down to your

40:18

level. Anyways, it's snack time if you like

40:20

some grapes. Well,

40:24

that's the other thing. You're trying to get their attention

40:26

to do something nice for them, right? Because

40:28

they're trying to get their attention so they can tile the

40:31

floor or something crazy. It's like you're trying to

40:33

get their attention so that you can do something.

40:35

You're like, I just want your attention so I

40:37

can feed you so you don't fucking die. I

40:39

just wave my hand in front of them when

40:42

they're doing something like that. I'm just like, I

40:44

just, hey, wave my hand in front

40:46

of them. I require doing that. I look up all startled.

40:48

Oh, well. Can't

40:51

help you there. But yeah. Well,

40:55

that sounds like the party was lovely,

40:57

Thomas. It sounds like it. Sounds like

40:59

you nailed exactly the midpoint. So do

41:01

you think for the Joneses that

41:03

you've set a bar? Oh, I've

41:06

done the other way. Yeah. What if for

41:08

the floor? Yeah, do you think you've set it? Are

41:10

they going to be Jonesing for the outdoor party? What

41:12

if I just get a series of like thank yous,

41:15

like anonymous letters? Oh. Here's to

41:17

my family. We didn't know. Everyone

41:19

gets on next door and is like, this

41:21

family knows to throw a party with modesty.

41:23

I never would have known my standards were

41:26

allowed to be so low. It

41:29

just freed me. It has changed my life. I

41:31

don't have to feel like I have to put

41:33

on the best party ever single time. I have

41:35

never felt that. I do want to say like

41:37

I have never felt that fucking pressure though. Maybe

41:40

because I'm so disconnected from the other

41:42

parents, from my children. Yeah. No,

41:46

the kids, like I said, the kids don't care. I'm like,

41:48

well, what do the kids want? Well, they want to go

41:50

to Chuck E Cheese. Bring them to Chuck E Cheese. What

41:52

do they want next year? Oh, Chuck E Cheese again? Yeah,

41:54

we'll bring them to Chuck E Cheese again. Very basic. Because

41:56

like I said, for the most part, I think the kids

41:59

are not the ones driving. that thing that you're describing,

42:01

Thomas? Oh, sure, yeah. Is it the parents that

42:03

drive it? And for me, I've always, I've never had friends

42:05

within that social circle, so

42:08

I don't feel any pressure at all to like

42:10

impress people I don't know. It's like, well, like,

42:12

what if the fucking Freedmen's are happy? Like, I

42:14

don't fucking even know their names. Why do I

42:16

get it? Oh, I don't know any, I

42:19

know I'm all by sight, but I don't know any of

42:21

the parents of anybody who's talking to me. Yeah, wouldn't that

42:23

be nice? Wouldn't that be nice to know what the other

42:25

parents look like? It'd be lovely. I'm

42:27

literally going, I think I'm going to meet

42:29

this party we're going to in a month,

42:31

this one lone party, this where fucking the

42:33

guy in the skull mask is gonna drop

42:35

water on all of us, is where I'm

42:37

gonna meet these parents. The only thing I

42:39

know about them is their kids go to

42:42

school with my kid, and one of them

42:44

says no to all the holiday celebrations. That's

42:46

it. Oh, God. So

42:48

you know they're not gonna be there. Right,

42:50

I gotta start it from zero. I gotta start

42:52

from zero with all these people. I have no

42:54

idea. Eli, that's me every day. I

42:56

did it. I made friends with

42:58

my kids, friends, parents,

43:01

and then we lost them and now there's new,

43:03

and I don't have it. I don't have it.

43:05

Are you still gonna invite all those friends? Sure,

43:08

who fucking cares? But you know what? I put

43:10

a gun in my mouth the whole time and

43:12

just walk around, hey guys, your friend's cable's over

43:14

there, and if you talk to me I'll pull

43:16

the trigger. No, I'm not gonna invite the ones

43:19

you liked, or you invite the old ones. So

43:21

I've been worried about that, because I do want

43:23

to invite them, because they are Max's friends and

43:25

he sees them at camp, but I also like,

43:27

there's a part of me that's like, this

43:30

is about you, man, and you gotta let that

43:32

go. No, if they're still Max's

43:34

friends and he's gonna see them at camp, I

43:37

think it's fine for you to invite them over so

43:39

they can continue that relationship. I think Max is gonna

43:41

be like eight or nine and turn into these kids

43:43

and be like, I'm sorry, my dad really wants to

43:45

hang out with your dad. We don't have to do

43:47

it forever, man, but there's like it's like it's like

43:49

it's like it's like they're pitching the memes and they

43:51

won't text him back, so I feel like we should

43:54

probably, oh, I

43:56

get it, is what I'm saying. Thomas' dad, I

43:58

get it. You're so

44:00

good. Shuffing some wood.

44:02

It's all working out. See

44:05

you all down. All

44:11

right. Gentlemen, before we go,

44:14

what's a gravedigger's favorite element?

44:18

Barium. Ah.

44:21

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Hey.

44:27

Wanna move sexy girls in your

44:29

area? Email the dads at zerodads.com

44:32

or better yet, send a message on Patreon.

44:34

You can follow us on all social media

44:36

by checking the links in the show notes.

44:38

And if you need more podcasts on your

44:40

right, you can find Tom on Cognitive Kitchen,

44:43

Tom on The Sound Theory of Thinkories Only, and

44:45

Eli on God-Offal Movies and all the puzzle and the

44:48

sound of function. Zero Dads is

44:50

edited and produced by my favorite girl,

44:52

Tom Smith. So also wrote and recorded

44:54

the interview with the Disney's and Disney's

44:57

show. This podcast is a production of Daddy

44:59

Issues, LLC, copyright 2022, all

45:01

rights reserved. Goddamn

45:06

it!