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Welcome , dear listener to whatever

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this is currently untitled and

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, going by the codename , you never get those

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minutes back . Life in a gaming

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clan a soap opera for the console

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generation . I always wanted to be

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in a clan , not some battleaxe wielding

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kill , wearing willy , waving blue faced hijinks

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. Mind you , I always wanted to be in a gaming

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clan . The thought of going into console warfare

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as part of a well oiled killing machine

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with slicker moves than the 70s brazilian football

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team was appealing . It sounded dramatic

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and exciting , a band of brothers

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fighting side by side until the bitter end

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, and I was a fan of band of brothers , which

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sounded like a band of brothers . The reality

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, however , was a little different . There was drama

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, but it was more soap opera than fate of war

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, and we were indeed a band of

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brothers fighting side by side until

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one of the band disconnected mid clan war to go and

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fix his shed . That did happen

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. Like I say , the reality

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was a little different . Here's my story

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of life in a clan the ups , the downs

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and the weirdness , within

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only a month or so , breaking from the singleplayer cocoon

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and fluttering off into the new world of online play

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. I had applied to become part of a clan

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. I applied . I don't mean to set off my CV

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of notable game related accomplishments to the

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clan leaders held out for a nil nil draw on FIFA

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and such like . No , no , my application

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was more akin to an introduction on the clan fordoms

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. The clan were known as army of Orion

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. Whether this was in reference to the stars

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or the shitty old car from the 80s , I never

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found out , but I tentatively posted

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this intro . Hi folks

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, base all star here . Xbox

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360 gamer called duty 3 . Especially

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good sense of humour . Enjoy long

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mingling walks along the beach . And can I join

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? Piss poor . That was a rough

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estimate of the words in that first introduction

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application . As I remember , both myself

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and my wife were trying to join the good old army

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of Orion . Weirdly , they replied

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stating that some of them the clan would join us in

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a random online game and

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, for one of better words , weigh us up

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. And so it was . General Beaker

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entered the game , stayed for a few minutes

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, didn't say much left , and

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we were in Easiest job interview

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I ever had . The brief time spent with army

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of Orion was a laugh I enjoyed . I

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played online with a part of a unified group

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, elevated the experience and comparison to

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sitting out alone , but it also

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offered the first hints of the soap opera of

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relationships that live within these groups

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. More battles were fought in the forums

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than on the console games we came to play

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, and it soon became time to move on

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, or rather to build something of our

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own . My main purpose for getting involved

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in a clan was to embark on a journey that involved

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lots of call of duty free matches against

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rival clans . Almost immediately it was

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clear call of duty was playing permanent second

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fiddle to Gears of War and

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fresh plans were necessary if my code fix

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was to be fed . Warhounds were born

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, my own little clan . We used

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the clan initials , as all the clans do , but

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realised we would have been WC , not

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the best . So we added the hounds as almost

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a separate word and became WHC much

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more acceptable . We welcomed other

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members and we enjoyed sweet hours

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of cod free action . The members came

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. We had a healthy kind of 20 plus

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, all of whom wanted to play Gears of

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War , and so it was . Gears

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was a permanent fixture , with the occasional

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cod scrap thrown into the mix from time to time

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. But I was happy . The site was decent

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if it had basic . We had a good reputation as

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a friendly and fair bunch and our membership

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was going rapidly . And then it all

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started to go . Pear shaped , the ugly

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face of the soap opera beast reared its

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head once again . It's strange

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how quickly silly little irritants escalate

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and threaten to bring the walls crashing in . But it happened

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. Bickering began , little feuds on

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the forums between members whose personalities

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could do little but clash . Strange

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atmosphere in the online air as members

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ignored each other or occasionally broke

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out into all out verbal warfare

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. The member who left the mid-clan

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match to fix his shed and

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then left the clan altogether a couple of days

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later , being unable to fully

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accept the shed , related piss taking

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. That took place Before long . The

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nights of laughter , free flowing alcohol and good

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times had evaporated and in

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came arguments and bad feeling . The

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strong bonds that had been formed , the great memories

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of matches and the free flowing conversation in the

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forums sank without trace . Members

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began to drift and we too jumped

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ship , leaving the clan in the hands of those

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left behind . One year had passed

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, that is all . The end of Warhound

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signalled the end of my own interest in

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the whole clan thing . I joined a community

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project at Kolan and had a pleasant

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time meeting good people . Again . There were no

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more matches , but the band of brothers were back

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and I was back as an army of one

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. Clans can be wonderful things

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, full of memorable moments and unforgettable characters

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or other characters , great places to build

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friends , great places to build sheds

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, a place for good gaming and a place for

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big laughs . But when it goes wrong , it

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crumbles fast . I always looked back on my clan

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days with fondness , but I was never into soap

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operas , and that has yet to change

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.