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hello , gang's master , hello and

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nice to see you . Now , what can I do for you ? I

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heard in Super Mario Bros 3 there's a secret

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whistle in the first world which enables

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you to warp into a later level . I don't

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know where it is . Do you have any idea ? Do

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I know where it is ? Oh , the audacity

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of you . Of course I do . Of course , of course Hayden , of

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course Hayden , of course Hayden , of course

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Hayden Music

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.

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Welcome , dear listener to whatever

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. This is currently untitled and

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, going by the code name , you never get those

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minutes back . I want to go back in time

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, maybe like a year , year

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and a half , because of all

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the things 2021 threw

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at me and it threw some stuff . The

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one that was least expected was a reboot

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of cult 90s TV classic

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Games Master . This was

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a reboot that was about to screw with my

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rose-tinted childhood memories and

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I went in worried . I worried

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because I badly wanted it

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to be amazing and I worried because

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I fully expected it to be

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a bit shit . I mean , they were going

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in without Scotland's elf of innuendo

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, dominic Diamond , at the helm for a kickoff Like

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what the fuck ? No , tom , no , dice

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Sunshine .

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Tell us what went wrong .

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But when it began to beam into my living

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room towards the end of November , I was

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duly sat deep in my soulful , like

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an expectant kid , wholly expecting

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a kick to the golden balls of my youth , whilst

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managing to also cling to a thin

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sliver of hope that they might just get

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it right . And then it began

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, and instantly I was

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in love . It was that sort

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of thunderbolt from the heavens . Love

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, cupid's frag detonating right

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on my noggin . Love , this was good

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. No , no , no . This was wonderful

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. Three instantly lovable

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hosts in Robert Rab , florence , frankie Ward

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and Ty Logan had such immediate

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presence in chemistry . I'd forgotten

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about that Domfeller , like I hadn't

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, but I wasn't thinking about him for a while . Then

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we had Sir Trevor McDonald as the flipping

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games master carrying the role , like he

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was born to play it and should have been news

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reading long before he did . Weird

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and wonderful guests rolled out for the brilliantly

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conceived challenges and the promise of a golden joystick

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or a brilliantly comical plunge

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to the abyss and the utterly

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piss . Funny educating grade old

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section where Rab educates his

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beautifully , beautifully deadpan mate

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about video game stuff , and I just

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wish I had a mate like Grado . This

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was a goddamn triumphant every

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sense . Not only had revamped

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games master fully embraced the spirit of the original

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, but it had also managed to do it without feeling

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like a cheap market knockoff . Not only

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had it reignited my lost love for

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the show like it was carrying a bastard flamethrower

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, but it has also found a new audience

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. My kids joined me for all three of its

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shows and their initial uncertainty

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gave way to excitement at the thought of another

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outing of gaming magic the following

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week . The challenges were wonderful

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. The audience in the studio thought I could

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blend of young guns and prop across the old folk

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with whom I could totally relate . Hey

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, kids , we were there when this thing was cool , when

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Dominic Diamond was like Johnny fucking rotten

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blowing the roof off the lesser free trade hall , sort

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of we'd say .

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But it's cool now .

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The kids would reply We'd mull it

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over . Watch Rab , frankie and Ty

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doing their thing , feel the wick , cut the

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air , catch the camaraderie spilling

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from the screen , taste the nostalgia

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on our tongues . Then we'd nod

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Good point , kids . The

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thing is , I have always lamented

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the loss of this show . I often wished

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for a revamp , but when it came I was doubtful

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it could recapture the spark . I needn't

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have worried . The spark was alive

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and kicking hard . Games Master

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was at its brilliant best . This

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was a glorious return . That now leaves

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me in a bittersweet place , because no

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sooner had it returned than it was gone

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again . Free shows Free

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, seriously . Adam Sandler

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is still making comedy films . Season one

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of EastEnders is currently like 800

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episodes long and Mrs Brown's boys

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currently exist in my current reality

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, until the Mandela Effect kicks

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that out of existence . But Games Master

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gives me three episodes

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. This isn't a magic number , this

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is a shitty fucking number . I

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can only hope that there is a legion of fans

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such as myself who fell head over heels

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again , and a whole new legion who

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got it Together . Maybe

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we can push for a recommission , maybe

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it's already in the works , or if not , we

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can riot . Or maybe we

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can write a strongly worded letter or just

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stewing our own slippers . I mean , we'll

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sort the logistics out later . The point

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is , I loved the return

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of this gaming goliath , but

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I also already miss it , and that stings

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.

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You need to select the machine gun and then

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, whenever the mayor in Frank Dachsdown , shoot

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the man behind . If you shoot

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him three times , he'll release

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the mayor and come charging towards you . When

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this happens , punch him and he will eventually

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die .