It’s National Mental Health month so what better time to address the upcoming holiday season.  The holidays can be a wholesome time of building memories, indulging in your favorite foods and feeling the love of your family and friends but it can also be a tumultuous time for those who don’t have family nearby, have experienced a recent loss, are in the midst of a financial struggle.  The reality is that the holidays can bring on a level of stress that may make us all in need of a mental health check but let’s discuss some thoughts on how to keep it as stress free and fulfilling as possible.

• Who wins when you blend family traditions in a new marriage?
• State the potential problem
  • Family personalities influencing decisions – guilt, anger, stubbornness, passive aggressive comments from family
  • Real and deeply held religious beliefs
  • Practical problems such as travel, same day events
  • Desire to start own tradition

• Our traditions and what we have blended and why
  • What has been successful
    • We benefit from having in-laws and extended families that enjoy being with each other.
    • Shared faith
    • We have been pretty firm in what we want to do and communicating our plans

• Examples
  • Christmas Eve
  • Food traditions – mixing it up
  • Switching b/t Christmas and Thanksgiving based on everyone’s schedules/family situations
  • We’ve held events at our home over the years because it’s an easier hub to blend both families with space and location.

Tips for a win/win experience in blending traditions and culture

• Discuss +/- of each and determine what is important to honor each side of family and balance that against your own nuclear family
• Plan ahead
• Be open to compromise
• Include an activity – a game, a craft, whatever it is just avoid idle time
• Effectively communicate your decisions to your respective families
• Be patient with one another when adapting to the other’s traditions
• Have realistic expectations
• Keep conversations that could pose as a land mine off limits
• Create a budget

Importance of Creating Your Own traditions - From the site artofmanliness.com

• Provide Source of Identity
• Stengthen the family bond
• Offer comfort and security
• Teach values
• Add to the rhythm and seasonality of life
• Pass on cultural and religious heritage
• Connect generations
• Create lasting memories